By VirginiaR <lc.virginiaR@gmail.com>
Rated: G
Submitted: April 2015
Summary: Advertisements for some of the 2015 Kerth-nominated stories.
Story Size: 808 words (5Kb as text)
Read in other formats: Text | MS Word | OpenOffice | PDF | Epub | Mobi
Author’s Note: If you haven’t read the stories nominated for the 2015 Kerth Awards, there might be spoilers in the below listed advertisements. Also, some names may have been added (or personalities changed) to suit the ad without the permission of the original author. I have the up-most respect for your story and/or characters. No offense was meant. I apologize for not having time to write more than 4 ads this year. I’ll try to do better next year.
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If while busy flying about, fixing broken fences or helping out the local fire brigade, you’ve busted your favorite or only pair of glasses and are in need of a quick fix, come on down to Sherman Optical, the only place in America nobody is bound to recognize your face. Faster than a speeding bullet or you can say ‘Lex Luthor,’ Betsy Sherman – matriarch of Sherman Optical – will pop out your old lenses and place them in a new pair. As the first female optometrist to practice in Arkansas, Dr. Betsy has over fifty years of experience to get you on your way lickety-split. Local checks, credit cards, cash, and Superman all welcome. – As seen in Mouserock’s story “Framed”.
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Other companies offer only the boring, basic black, red, and blue colors, but Scribbles Stylus has done you one better. Our pens are available in colors such as Deepest Night, Lipstick Smear, and Royal Blood. As their names suggest, our pens’ colors are more vibrant than our closest competitors. What’s more, Scribbles Stylus pens also have a 24-hour permanence guarantee when applied to skin, so no more losing that important phone number or note jotted down on your palm. No amount of scrubbing or soap will remove that baby until a whole day has passed. Available at your local office supply company. When nothing else will do, Scribbles is the one for you! Disclaimer: this product has not been tested on Kryptonian skin and therefore our permanence guarantee doesn’t apply to Superman. – Please, check out our endorsement by multi-Kerth award winning journalist Lois Lane in this month’s issue of “Doodles” by KatherineKent.
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Whether you bowl a 250 every time or want to practice so you won’t always end up with a gutter ball, Midtown Alley is the place for you. When we’re not hosting league play or sponsoring charity events that entice the likes of Superman and Bruce Wayne to put on a pair of bowling shoes, our lanes are available for school events, romantic dates, and birthday parties. The fries at the snack bar are “out of this world” according to Superman, and he would know! Lessons from our qualified staff are available upon request. Before you know it, you’ll be yelling “Strike!” just like your girlfriend. Come on down to Midtown Alley, located at the heart of Metropolis. – We were featured in Deadly Chakram’s exposé on smelly feet, as having the cleanest rental shoes in the city.
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About this time in the ceremony, you realize that your lips are dry from nibbling on them in anticipation, your throat is hoarse from cheering on your favorite authors, and your hands are sore from so much applause. Wouldn’t this be the perfect time to reach for a nice cold beverage… perhaps in a red fruit punch flavor with some nice cold ice cubes? However, take care that when you add “A Few Simple Sugars” to your drink that you recall that while in Metropolis, and the surrounding 200 miles, you cannot call this beverage by name. Enjoy your drink and now back to our show! — This advertisement has not been endorsed by Shayne Terry or any large juice jugs who crash through walls.
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Gratitude: Many thanks to Mouserocks, Deadly Chakram, KatherineKent, and Shayne Terry for writing such wonderful stories from which I drew my inspiration.
Disclaimer: I don’t own these characters. Jerry Siegel & Joe Shuster created the main characters in these advertisements as portrayed on the Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman television series, developed by Deborah Joy LeVine. I borrow these characters from time to time from Warner Bros, DC Comics, and the heirs to Siegel and Shuster, when they invade my psyche and demand I write what they tell me. Any other plots, characters, businesses, locations, and/or products in these stories belong to the authors of those stories (even if I created said characters and business names for the sake of these advertisements). All characters not owned by the above-referenced people and /or businesses are figments of my imagination and not based on anything that exists in reality. Should any names be similar to any real or imagined persons or company it was inadvertent.