The Costume — an L&C Vignette

By Tank Wilson <>

Rated G

Submitted November 1999

Summary: The Planet's holding a costume party for charity, and a suspicious Jimmy thinks Clark ought to borrow one of Superman's spare uniforms; it ought to fit him really well — maybe even as well as if it had been made for him!

The following was originally posted on Zoomway's boards as a Halloween story, but by merely deleting the Halloween reference, I genericised it into just a costume party story. As always, all characters are trademarked and copyrighted to their respective owners. Any and all feedback is welcome.


Lois Lane wandered over to her husband's desk with a pensive look on her face. Clark Kent, looking up and seeing Lois deep in worried thought, seized her and pulled her into his lap. Before she could do more than yelp, he planted a warm, reassuring kiss on her lips, to which she readily responded.

At one time, this action might have elicited some wolf-whistles and cat-calls from their co-workers, but by now they were all used to Lane and Kent acting like a couple of teenagers at a drive-in.

As they broke, Clark gave Lois one of his smiles. "There, does that make whatever it is that is troubling you better?"

She giggled briefly. "Well, it certainly doesn't hurt, but…" Her voice took on a more serious tone. "I'm worried about Jimmy." At Clark's blank look, she continued, "I think he's beginning to suspect. I overheard him talking to Perry about how they never see you and Superman together, even though you're supposed to be such good friends. And how you are always able to contact Superman, and…" She paused for a breath. "…how you have a good build and do look sort-of-like Superman."

"And what did Perry say?"

"Oh, he just shrugged it off, and began a story about someone named Elmer Fasbinder who used to get mistaken for Elvis all the time." She smiled at Clark. "I left before he went any further." Her smile changed to a quick frown. "Do you think we need to worry?"

Clark shook his head. "Probably not. C'mere." He grinned as he pulled Lois in for another kiss.

Seconds later, the kiss was interrupted by a clearing of a throat. Lois opened her eye and peered at Jimmy standing next to them, a slightly embarrassed look on his face.

Lois sighed as she reluctantly dragged her lips away from Clark's. "If it isn't Mr. Timing himself." She grinned to take any sting out of her remark. "What's up, Jimbo?"

"Hey, guys." He gave Lois a smirk. "Say, Lois, doesn't your desk have its own chair?"

Lois put her arms around Clark's neck and bounced a couple of times on his lap. "This one is *much* more comfortable." Clark let forth a mock exhalation as if the breath had been knocked out of him. Lois swatted him in the chest.

"Okaaay… Anyhow, I'm glad you're both here. I'm supposed to remind you about the Planet's Charity Costume Party next Saturday. The theme is, come as your favorite super-hero." A sly look came over Jimmy's face. "Say, CK, you're a *good* friend of Superman's, right? You should ask to borrow one of his costumes to wear to the party."

"Jimmy, I don't think…"

"Sure, CK, you look a little like him. It would be great. Heck, you're a big guy, I bet one of Superman's suits would fit you… like it was made for you."

"Jimmy," Clark said with just a hint of annoyance in his voice. "I'm not going to bother Superman for one of his costumes, just to…"

"I think that's a great idea, Jimmy," Lois interrupted.

"What?" Clark looked over at his wife as if she had just taken leave of her senses.

"Clark, I'm sure Superman wouldn't mind. It's not like you're going to damage it by going out and stopping a train wreck or anything." She hopped off Clark's lap. "Thanks for the idea, Jimmy. You can tell Perry that we'll definitely be there."

After Jimmy went off to inform the chief, Clark gave his wife a very confused stare. She giggled. "Lo-is-ss." He shook his head. "I thought you just told me that…"

Clark's speech was cut off by Lois bending over and giving him a quick kiss. "Trust me," she said, then quickly made her way back to her own desk.

"Where have I heard that one before?" Clark muttered.

"I heard that!"


The morning stillness at the brownstone on Hyperion Ave. was disturbed by the ringing of the telephone. Lois came down the stairs, pulling on her robe as she went. She tried to comb her mussed hair with her fingers as she reached for the phone with her other hand.

"Hello? Oh, hi, Martha. What? It's ready?" Lois held the phone away from her as she turned toward the stairs leading to their upstairs bedroom. "Clark, it's your mom. She says it's ready. Could you…?"

The familiar whoosh of Superman leaving was all Lois needed to hear to know Clark was gone. "Martha? Yeah, Clark just left; he should be there shortly. No, you didn't disturb us. We were… er, awake." Lois self-consciously fussed with her hair some more. "How's Jonathan?"

Lois played with the ties on her robe as she listened to Martha's answer: "What? Oh — hi, Clark. Hurry home."

Lois traded a few more pleasantries with Martha before hanging up the phone. She had no sooner done so than she heard the sound of her husband returning. He came in through the patio door, still in his Superman garb, with a box held firmly under his arm. He set the box down and spun back into a black T and jeans.

"I know you and Mom talked about this." He stopped briefly to give Lois a quick kiss. "And I know she agrees with you — of course, she usually does…" Lois grinned. "…but you're sure this will work?"

Lois sidled up close to Clark, picked up the box and stuck it in his hands. "Have I ever steered you wrong before?" As Clark opened his mouth to answer, Lois put her finger over his lips. "You know that was a rhetorical question, don't you? Go on up and try it on. Check it out; you'll see what I meant when I explained this to you."

Clark gave his wife a resigned look. "Okay, but I don't see why, if I have to go as Superman, you couldn't go as Ultra Woman."

"Too dangerous, even without the mask. Besides, I think you'll like the costume I've picked out even better." She gave Clark a push toward the stairs. "Come on — go up and try it on. The party is tonight, and I want to make sure it's ready."


Lois and Clark hadn't gotten through the door and been into the main ballroom more than three minutes before Jimmy Olsen, dressed as Robin, the Boy Wonder, sought them out and cornered them. "Whoa, CK, Lois — nice costumes."

"Thanks, Jimmy. I see you're dressed as Robin?" Lois asked.

"Yeah. Well, the chief came as Batman, so…" They all laughed. "So, CK, this is the real thing, huh?" Jimmy reached over and felt the material of Clark's sleeve.

"Yep. He picked it up from his personal tailor just this morning and delivered it to the house." Lois hid her smile at Clark's explanation.

Jimmy just shook his head. "I guess you don't quite fill Superman's suit as well as I thought you would." Jimmy plucked at the loose material across the chest and the shoulders. "You have a nice build, CK, but I suspect you'd have to work out quite a bit more to fill out that chest and those shoulders. And what about here?" Jimmy patted the tightly-stretched fabric at Clark's waist. "Have you been hitting on Lois' secret stash of Double Fudge Crunch Bars?"

"Jimmy!" Lois swatted Jimmy on the arm in mock anger.

Jimmy lifted the cape a bit. "I know the cape is pretty long, but I never remember it dragging on the ground like… Oh, yeah — Superman is a little taller, isn't he?" Jimmy patted Clark on the shoulder. "Not bad, CK, but I don't think anyone is going to mistake you for the Man of Steel tonight. The glasses don't really fit in, either."

"Well, Jimmy, it wouldn't do for Superman to be walking into walls and such, would it?"

Lois grabbed Clark's arm. "He's all the Superman I'll ever need."

Jimmy laughed. "I guess." He turned his attention to Lois. "I have to say, Lois, you do make a pretty spectacular Wonder Woman. The long wig looks great. Ever think of growing your own hair out long like that?"

It was Lois' turn to laugh. "I don't think so, Jim — too much hassle." She looked over at Clark. "Besides, Clark likes to have easy access to my neck."

Jimmy held his hands up in front of him. "Well, I think that's more information than I need, so I'll just leave you folks to your own devices. Have fun." And Jimmy disappeared into the crowd.

Clark put his arm around Lois. "You are brilliant, you know that?"

"Yes, I know — but I'm glad that you know it, too." She smiled. "I knew if people saw you in an *authentic* Superman costume, with just enough modifications to make it not fit right, it would reinforce any differences that they already felt existed between you, the average hunky guy, and Superman, who is the male ideal." She giggled. "I guess you just don't quite *measure up* when it comes to being compared to Superman."

Clark groaned, then pulled his wife close for a brief, but passionate kiss. They stopped walking and Clark stepped back a bit, giving Lois a long, hard top-to-bottom examination.

"Did I tell you how much I liked your costume? There is definitely no poor fit or wasted material *there.* You truly are a wonder—"

"Don't say it!" Lois put her hand over Clark's mouth — then slid her hand off to quickly replace it with her lips.

People were beginning to stare, but the couple didn't seen to notice. They soon found themselves off in a secluded corner. Lois snuggled up close to Clark. "I'm glad my costume passes your inspection, but it is a bit skimpy, and I'm feeling a bit chilly."

"I see." Clark checked around the room and pulled her farther into the darkened shadows. "I would be happy to try and warm you up. Did you have anything in mind?"

Lois stood on her tiptoes and whispered something into Clark's ear. His face suddenly split into a wide grin. He nodded once, and they were gone.

Jimmy approached a bewildered-looking Ralph. "What's up, Ralph? Why the confused look?"

It took Ralph a second to recognize Jimmy. He spoke slowly, as if thinking about each word he said. "You know that breeze that just blew through here a minute ago? I swear I heard it giggle."

- fin -