Aussie Rules Bet

By Tank Wilson <tankw1@aol.com>

For Female Hawk

Rated: G

Submitted: May, 2011

Summary: Sometimes, when you lose, you gain so much more. 

Like most of the gentle readers on the Lois and Clark Fanfic
Messageboard, I've been reading and enjoying the original take
on Lois and Clark that Female Hawk has been giving us.

After reading the last couple of instalments where Lois and Clark
have been getting 'closer' together, this little tale just
popped into my head.

I sent it to Corrina as a form of thank you for the fun fic
she's been writing. She graciously replied that I should share
this with the rest of the gentle readers.

Be Warned. This has nothing to do with her current fic, but
who's to say that in some similar alternate universe this little
episode might not have taken place?

EIC's note: Female Hawk's original story -- Aussie Rules -- has
(so far at least ;) ) not been submitted to the Archive. However,
you can find this Kerth Award-winning story here on the Lois and
Clark Fanfic Messageboards:
http://www.lcficmbs.com/ubb/ultimatebb.php?ubb=get_topic;f=6;t=001700#000000.

***

"Okay, everybody listen up."

A smile snuck onto Lois' face as she leaned back and watched
Gazza command everyone's attention. It was that time of the year
again.

"We've reached that time again. All the teams are playing this
Saturday and, except for the unfortunate Fitzroy, everyone is in
top form heading into the final rounds leading to the
Premiership. So who is going to be Gazza's pigeon this year? Who
will take the bet?"

Lois glanced around as she took in all of her colleagues. Most of
them turned back to their computer screens, purposely ignoring
Gazza. Some resorted to hurling insults and jeers toward him, but
none of them stepped up either. Every year he made the bet. Over
the next few weeks, his team would play every one of the teams
that his fellow scribes barracked for. He took on any comer. The
first one to step up got to take on the bet. Of course, he had a
pretty good record since Collingwood had been a strong contender
for the last several years. His long wavy hair was testament to
his team's successes.

Lois' gaze fell on Clark and she nearly burst out laughing. It
was obvious that he had no idea what was going on. And it was
possible that he wouldn't know because from the reaction of her
co-workers it looked like this might be the first year that the
bet wasn't made. That would be a shame. It was a fun tradition,
but it did carry a heavy price for the loser.

Lois bit her lip. Dare she? Her Hawks were doing quite well this
year, but Collingwood was doing a little better and would be the
definite favorite. Still, what kind of fan was she if she didn't
have faith in her guys?

Lois stood up and walked over to where Gazza was razzing the guys
for being cowards and fair weather fans. She reached out and
tapped him on the shoulder. He turned and seemed surprised to see
her there.

"I'll take that bet." Lois spoke with an even voice that
sounded more confident than she really was.

"Flinders?" Gazza looked confused. "You do know what the terms
of the bet are ... don't you?"

Lois cocked her head and looked him straight in the eye. "Unless
you've changed them; the winner shaves the loser's head, and
the loser has to wear the winner's colors for a week."

Gazza nodded as he frowned at Lois. He then turned to the rest of
the staff. "Are you losers going to let Flinders here take the
fall for the rest of you? Is not one of you man enough to step up
for the honor of his team?"

"Excuse me, but I think the rules you established say that the
first one to take the bet gets it." Lois glared at the man, her
arms folded over her chest.

Gazza shook his head and grinned. "You're sure you want to lose
those pretty, dark locks, luv?"

Lois' answering grin was just as predatory. "Actually, I was
planning on buzzing off those sun-bleached curls of yours."

He ran his hand through his unruly mop of hair. "Hasn't
happened in over four years."

Lois patted him on the shoulder, then turned and went back to her
desk. "Maybe it's time."

Clark hurried over to her desk as she pulled up her latest
story.

"Did I hear that right? Did you just bet your hair on a footy
match?"

Lois didn't even look up from her screen. "Yep."

"Why?"

She turned her face toward his. "Don't you bet on sports back
in the States?"

Clark was shaking his head in wonder. "Yeah, but we usually bet
money."

Lois shrugged. "Boring. Besides it's a tradition around here
and no one else seemed ready to step up. I couldn't let it
stand. Gazza would be insufferable the rest of the season if no
one took the bet."

"You know that Hawthorn is playing Collingwood this Saturday."

"Yes I do, which is one of the reasons why I took the bet.
We're at our strongest right now and rumor has it that
Collingwood's lead scorer has had the flu all week. Even if
he's over it by Saturday he'll still be weak from it."

Lois punched Clark in the arm. "Come on, Kent, have a little
faith in our team."

Clark shrugged, then smiled. "Okay. You want to watch the match
together?"

Lois shook her head. "Can't, I'm covering the Fitzroy game."
She sighed. "Now that could be a depressing game."

Clark chuckled. "Not as depressing as watching the replay of the
Hawthorn game should they lose to Collingwood."

Lois shook her head. "Oh ye of little faith."

***

They lost! Lois couldn't believe it. She stared at her
reflection in her bathroom mirror as she made herself ready for
bed. Her hand strayed up to the shiny, dark locks that hung down
to just brush her shoulders. Soon her shoulders would no longer
feel the brush of those silken strands.

The Fitzroy game had been the depressing sleeper of a game that
she thought it would be so she'd been able to listen to the
Hawthorn game on her portable radio.

She'd been so confident when they'd gone into the final minutes
of the game with a slim lead. But then it had happened. Three
goals in the last two minutes had sunk her Hawks and had sealed
her fate.

In the morning, when she came into work, they all would be
waiting. Like vultures eyeing fresh road kill, she'd be the
center of attention as Gazza gleefully rendered her nearly
hairless with those old barber's clippers he'd found at a yard
sale.

Lois had never been one of those women who constantly worried
about their looks. If fact, she'd never even considered herself
particularly pretty. It wasn't like she got many compliments
from the gang at the paper. Still, she knew that when Gazza was
done, whatever attractiveness she might have possessed would be
severely altered for quite some time.

But the main reason why this concerned her was because it would
end the special times she'd been having with Clark. He wouldn't
want to be seen with a shaven-headed freak, and there wouldn't
be enough time for her hair to grow back to a reasonable length
before he had to leave.

She had to admit that even though, at first, she had resisted the
man's charms because she knew that there was no real future for
them, she really enjoyed being with him. She would miss those
times. She would miss them a lot.

She looked down at the hairbrush sitting on the edge of the sink.
Normally, she would brush her hair before going to bed. She
sighed. No point in doing it tonight. She turned out the light as
she left her bathroom and slipped into bed. She doubted she'd
sleep very well tonight.

***

"Hey, Flinders, nice of you to come in today."

The scene that Lois walked into was exactly as she had dreamed it
would be. Or, more accurately, a scene from a nightmare. Gazza
had a big grin of his face. He was standing behind the ancient
barber's chair that he brought in every year for the occasion.
Everyone was standing around, looks of amused anticipation on
their faces. Everyone except Clark that was. He had the decency
to look sympathetic. She gave him a weak smile as she walked over
to the chair without a word. She slowly spun around so everyone
could see the facsimile Collingwood jersey she had purchased this
morning and was now wearing. No one was ever going to be able to
say that Lois Lane ever welched on a bet. She sat down.

It wasn't like anyone at the paper actually disliked her. She
knew that they didn't. It was just that they all liked Dan a lot
and she was the woman who dumped on the poor guy. It hadn't made
her popular with the rest of them, so no one, except Clark, would
be sorry to see her get this little comeuppance.

Gazza made a big show out of shaking out the barber's cape and
fastening it around her shoulders, making it tight about her
neck. Lois appreciated that. The last thing she wanted was to
have to deal with loose hair down her back.

Gazza held the overly large clippers out where Lois could see
them.

"Any last words, Flinders?"

She squared her shoulders and held her head high. "Just be
gentle with me, big guy."

His laugh was full and loud as he flipped the switch and the
hand-held appliance of her destruction roared to life.

Lois held back a gasp as Gazza placed the clippers right at her
forehead and pushed them into her hair at the top of her head.
Her dark locks fell like rain in front of her face and onto her
lap. He worked quickly. Within minutes, he'd cleared the top of
her head and was working his way around the sides and back. She
was somewhat surprised by the amount of hair she saw piling up on
the floor around the base of the chair.

There was no mirror, for which Lois was thankful, but she knew
what she looked like. She'd seen this happen before. Banjo had
been the victim last year. This year it had been her.

She wasn't completely bald, not that that was any real comfort.
Her head would look like a man's beard after a couple of days
without shaving. A short, fine fuzz, less than a quarter of an
inch long, covered her scalp now.

She couldn't help herself. She reached up and rubbed her hand
over her buzzed head. Of course, everyone else had to come and do
so, also.

Lois got out of the chair to the applause of the rest of the
group. She acknowledged their praise with a wave of her hand, and
smiled when Gazza gave her a wink and a thumbs up.

Clark came over and met her at her desk. "Wow, I'm impressed
that you went through with the buzz cut, Lois."

She frowned at him. "Why? Didn't you think that I would honor
the terms of the bet if I lost?"

Clark shook his head quickly. "No, I absolutely knew that you
would. I'm just impressed by your conviction."

She ducked her head. Normally her hair would fall in front of her
face to help hide her blush. Not so, anymore.

Clark sat in her guest chair. "It's just that not too many
beautiful women would put themselves at risk like that, let alone
follow through with it. Mayson certainly wouldn't."

Lois' eyes widened. "You thought I was beautiful."

Clark chuckled. "No, I think you *are* beautiful." He shook his
head. "Lois, something as transitory as a bad haircut isn't
going to change my opinion of you."

She involuntarily reached up to touch her head. "But it will be
months before it grows out to a reasonable length."

Clark shrugged. "It depends on what you call reasonable. I'll
bet you'll look good in a short style."

Lois, lowered her voice to an almost whisper. "Yeah, but even if
that's true, it could still be weeks before that happens, and
you'll be gone by then."

Clark reached down and placed his finger under her chin and
lifted her eyes to his. "You might be surprised ... on both
counts." He bent down and whispered in her ear. "Let's go out
someplace nice tonight and commiserate our team's disappointing
loss together."

A tentative smile came onto Lois face. "You'd still want to go
out with me? Looking like this?"

"Sure."

"I won't wear a wig or a scarf. What you see is what you
get."

"Okay."

Lois shook her head. She just didn't understand how any man
could be so wonderfully understanding. And how that man could be
interested in her. She glanced up at him, a sly smile on her
face.

"You know, you claim to barrack for Hawthorn too. If you were a
real fan you'd let Gazza buzz your hair too. We could be
pathetic, buzzed Hawk fans together."

A look of panic quickly crossed Clark's face.

"Ah, I'm sorry Lois, but I can't do that."

Lois' face fell slightly. "Oh, I understand ... A good looking
guy like you wouldn't want to ... "

"No, it's not that. Gazza couldn't cut my hair."

Lois was confused. "I said I understand, Clark."

"No, Lois, you don't understand." He looked around then moved
close and whispered so that only she could hear him. "I'm
Superman."

Fin.

THE END