Revelation on a Talk Show

By Michele Garnier (

Summary: Lois and Clark are invited to appear on a talk show, and the subject of the day is "Revealing Secrets to Your Loved Ones."

This idea slammed into me while I was listening to talk shows this morning at work. (Yes, I got some work done..:-) )

The characters are copyright DC comics, etc. etc. With apologies to Sally Jesse Raphael… :-)

Revelation on a Talk Show (or 18th Variation on a theme of Siegel and Shuster)



The envelope lay on Clark's desk, waiting patiently for him to open it. It was plain white and had an air of suspicion surrounding it. Clark eyed Lois who was sitting at her desk seemingly unaware of the envelope that beckoned him to open it.

Sensing his gaze, Lois looked up at him and smiled. He loved her with all his heart. If only he could tell her…

Clark smiled back at her and finally mustered the courage to open the envelope. He was extremely confused when he saw what it was. *Someone wants me to do a segment of the Sally Jesse Raphael show?!* His first thought is why?!

Lois walked over to Clark's desk, holding a very familiar looking white envelope. "I see you got one too." She asked holding up a letter identical to the one he held.

"Do you know anything about this?" He asked her.

"No." Lois answered (Rather quickly, Clark thought) and walked back to her desk.

Clark sat back down and reread the letter. The theme of the show caught his eye and his heart skipped a beat. "Revealing secrets to your loved ones" He leaned his head into his hands and groaned. Lois looked over at him and smiled.


Sally Jesse Raphael stood just down stage facing the camera.

"Ok, today we have a few couples who are afraid to reach that final stage of commitment, because one of them is harboring a secret. This secret is such a big one that it could mean the end of the relationship. We have a lot to cover in this hour so lets get started." Sally finished her familiar monologue and turned toward the stage. "On our stage right now we have Mary .

Backstage in the greenroom, Clark was sweating. Well as much as he could being Superman. Lois sat beside him with a donut in her hand.

"You should try these Clark, they're really good." She said around the food she had in her mouth.

"Um, no thanks Lois. I, uh…" Clark said nervously. *I can't go through with this.* "Lois, I need to talk to you. I can't do it on stage. This isn't something I wanted the world to know. If it was, -I'd- have written an article for the Planet. C'mon, let's go outsi …"

"Lois Lane. We're ready for you." The greenroom attendant held out his arm to gesture her out the door. "Stay alert, Mr Kent. You'll be next."

Clark nodded mutely and sat on the couch. His nerves battling in his stomach. *Please lord, get me through this.*

"Coming out?" The blond man in tie dye sitting across from him grinned almost hopefully.

"What? Oh, no. it's nothing like that. I, uh…nevermind." Clark settled back into the couch and waited for the death knell.


Lois had just finished telling Sally and the audience that she and Clark were having trouble 'connecting' and his constant disappearing acts were driving her crazy. She said she loved him, but she can't keep putting up with him disappearing without knowing what was going on. The audience had it in their minds he was seeing someone else.

Sally introduced Clark and as he was walking onstage the audience both clapped and booed. He sat and grinned nervously, giving Lois an 'I'll pay you back for this' look with his eyes.

"Well, Clark. Lois here has explained to us that you seem to disappear everytime she wants to say something to you. And that it seems you have a big secret. Well, the time has come to share that secret." Sally spoke to Clark in the patronizing grandmotherly tone she usually uses when she wants someone to spill their guts.

"Um, I," Clark turned to Lois. "I can't do this here. You don't understand."

"TELL HER, TELL HER!" The audience began chanting. The noise became deafening. Clark finally turned to Lois.

And he noticed she was wearing a Superman costume. And chanting, "TELL ME, TELL ME!"

Clark looked around suddenly feeling trapped. The entire audience was wearing Superman costumes. He looked towards Sally. She also wore a costume, but she still had on her trademark red glasses…


Clark woke with a start and fell with a bounce to his bed. He sat disoriented as he replayed the dream in his mind. Lying back hard on the bed, Clark covered his head with the pillow and groaned. "I gotta lay off Lois's cooking."


Don't all throw tomatoes at once.:-)