Summary: A humorous "Cosmo"-type quiz to help you determine what type of fanfic author you are or would be.
In lieu of actually writing fanfic (which I do plan to do, once I have both the time and the courage to do so) I have written a little L&C fanfic quiz. This quiz, in the style of that ever-popular Cosmo quiz, will reveal deep and meaningful things about you, your outlook on life, and your prospects for success as a writer of L&C fiction. As you will see, it is totally scientific and unbiased.
Question 1: It is Friday night and your date just stood you up. To make things worse, the X-files has been pre-empted by a special show about monster trucks. But you have recently thought of a good villain for L&C and so you log onto your computer and begin to write. You
A. Round out the villain with characteristics regarding his/her physical strength, special powers, and personality. B. Think of interesting ways to put the L&C supporting cast into the plot of the story. C. Work for a few minutes, then put this story into an "unfinished" file. Proceed to write a really steamy Lois & Clark love scene.
Question 2: Your most difficult moment as a writer of L&C fanfic has been:
A. How to write an exciting fight scene that is not trite. B. How to fit in a good wisecrack that you thought up. C. How to describe Clark's body without getting so worked up that you have to stop writing and take a cold shower.
Question 3: Your idea of a good quality story is:
A. One that has good, believable action. B. One that contains Perry dressed up as Elvis AND shows Ma Kent's artwork. C. Anything that has Lois and Clark making out.
Question 4: Your all-time favorite type of L&C story is:
A. Revelation story B. Revelation story followed by Lois and Clark getting angry, followed by them kissing and making up. C. Revelation story with Lois and Clark making out before and after she finds out. D. OK, OK, "none of the above" - nobody better pick this!
Question 5: You've become close enough to Lois and Clark to feel you know the gang. This means you:
A. Appreciate the interplay between Perry and Jimmy, and between Clark and his parents. B. Begin to dissect the characters' wardrobes, tallying the brown suits and dino ties. C. Find yourself shouting at the TV set, "Kiss, dammit! Kiss, you fools!"
Question 6: You are searching for a storyline to work on. You join the IRC session on Thursday. You take the advice of:
A. Joaquin, who convinces you to do an analysis of pre- and post- crisis Superman and its ramifications for the Lois and Clark canon. B. Tad, who convinces you to write a story that involves only Lois with frequent descriptions of her beauty and her Cherokee. C. Gail, who instructs you, "Combine these three elements: Revelation, bathing suits, lots of jello."
Question 7: You've written Lois and Clark into a dangerous situation. You
A. Have Jimmy burst onto the scene to save L&C so that Supes can come and clean up the problem. B. Have Clark or Lois discover a way out of the situation. C. Write in a much-needed pause in the action so that Lois and Clark can make out.
Give yourself one point for A or D; 2 points for B; and 3 points for C.
IF YOU HAVE 7-10 POINTS, YOU ARE
Jon Knudson. No, really, what I mean to say is that if you have 7-10 points you show an admirable restraint in sticking to the real point of the show, which is to combine action, good characters, and a bit of romance. Sigh. Don't you ever get the tiniest, littlest urge to say, write a scene involving a very big bowl of chocolate mousse and a very little amount of clothing?
IF YOU HAVE 11-16 POINTS, YOU ARE
a well-balanced person, with hardly a trace of the wickedness shown by, say, Gail.
IF YOU HAVE 17-21 POINTS YOU ARE:
probably in need of some psychiatric counseling, but before that happens please write more fanfic and send it to me.