Lois and Clark: The Musical

By: Deena J. Cross (crossdj@musc.edu)

Summary: Lois & Clark — the musical! Using songs from Elvis and other singers. (If you don't like Elvis, stop here)


*Clark goes to talk to Perry about Lois and this is what he says*

"Well my hands are shakin' and my knees are weak
I can't seem to stand on my on two feet
Who do you think when you have such luck
I'm in love... I'm all shook up!"

ALL SHOOK UP, Elvis, 1957

*And this is Perry's response*

"Well a hard headed woman, a soft hearted man,
meant to cause trouble ever since the world began…"


*So now it's Lois's turn to go see Perry for advice. She's talking to him, but she's really talking to Clark*

"I fall to pieces each time I see you again.
I fall to pieces, how can I be just your friend? >>> You want me to act like we've never kissed
you want me to forget, pretend we've never met.
And I've tried, and I've tried, but I haven't yet
You walk by, and I fall to pieces."

I FALL TO PIECES, Patsy Cline, 1960

*OK, so now Clark and Lois finally admit to each other how they feel and we hear this sweet exchange* Lois, to Clark:

"Hold me close, hold me tight, Make me thrill with delight,
>>> Let me know where I stand from the start.
I want you, I need you, I love you, with all my heart."


Clark, to Lois:

"You can shake an apple of an apple tree,
shake a shake a sugar but you'll never shake me. (un huh huh)
I'm gonna stick like glue Stick because I'm... stuck on you.
>>> I'm gonna run my fingers through your long black hair
Squeeze you tighter than a grizzly bear. (uh huh huh)
I'm gonna stick like glue Stick because I'm... stuck on you."

STUCK ON YOU, Elvis, 1960

*And Lois responds to Clark with the song that brings down the house* (I can see Teri singing this— go girl!)

"Don't mean to get a little forward with you,
don't mean to get ahead of where we are.
Don't mean to act a little nervous around you,
I'm just a little nervous about my heart, cause…

It's been awhile since I felt this feeling
that everything that you do gives me
It's been too long since somebody whispered…
Shut up and kiss me.

Didn't expect to be in this position,
didn't expect to have to rise above my reputation for cynicism,
I've been a jaded lady when it comes to love, but…

There's something about the silent type attracting me to you
All business baby none of the hype That no talker can live up to.

*and then there's there rest of the song which is too long to put in its entirety*

SHUT UP AND KISS ME Mary Chapin Carpenter, 1994

* But uh oh, Clark gets a message on the Superman channel and Lois tells him once and for all…*

"It's now or never come hold me tight.
Kiss me my darling, be mine tonight.
Tomorrow will be too late
It's now or never, my love won't wait."

IT'S NOW OR NEVER, Elvis, 1960

*Clark leaves as always, but as he does, he thinks*

"...but here we go again, askin' where I've been,
you can't see the tears are real I'm crying.
We can't go on together, with suspicious minds,
and we can't build our dreams on suspicious minds.

We're caught in a trap, I can't walk out,
because I love you too much baby.
Why can't you see, what you're doin' to me
when you don't believe a word I'm saying…"


*And so as the story often goes, Lois fall into the arms of another man…Scardino! But as she is with him, she thinks of Clark…* (this is the sniffles song)

"He takes me to the places you and I used to go
he tells me over and over that he loves me so.
>>> He gives me love that I never got from you,
he loves me too, his love is true
>>> Why can't he be you?
He never fails to call and tell me I'm on his mind
and I'm lucky to have such a guy, I hear it all the time
And he does all the things that you would never do,
he loves me too, his love is true, Why can't he be you?
He's not the one who dominates my mind and soul
and I should love him so, cause he loves me I know
But his kisses leave me cold. He sends me flowers (and mobiles), calls on the hour
Just to prove his love.
And my friends say, when he's around, I'm all he speaks of.
And he does all the things that you would never do,
He loves me too, his love is true, Why can't he be you?

WHY CAN'T HE BE YOU, Patsy Cline, 1962

*Clark, seeing Lois with Scardino, says..* "Baby if I made you mad something I might have said Please forget my past, the future looks bright ahead. Don't be cruel, to a heart that's true… I don't want no other love, Baby it's just you I'm thinkin' of." DON'T BE CRUEL, Elvis, 1956

* A down-in-the-dumps Clark goes back to Perry to tell his story and get advice..* Clark, to Perry:

"Well since my baby left me
I've found a new place to dwell
well it's down at the end of a lonely street
that Heartbreak Hotel.
Where I'll be, I'll be so lonely baby, Well I'm so lonely,
I'll be so lonely I could die."

(You knew this one would be here!) HEARTBREAK HOTEL, Elvis, 1956

Perry's advice: BEG LIKE A DOG

*So Clark decides to take Perry's advice and goes to see Lois...* Clark, to Lois:

"Baby let me be your lovin' teddy bear.
Put a chain around my neck and lead me anywhere,
Oh let me be…your teddy bear.
I don't want to be a tiger, cause tigers play too rough (Scardino)
I don't want to be a lion, cause lions aren't the ones you love enough (Luthor).
I just want to be your teddy bear."

TEDDY BEAR, Elvis, 1957

*Well this is just too much for Lois, she really loves Clark, so she gives in. They kiss a lot and in the background is playing the greatest love song of all time…*

"Love me tender, love me sweet never let me go.
You have made my life complete and I love you so.
Love me tender, love me true, All my dreams fulfill,
For my darling, I love you, And I always will."

LOVE ME TENDER, Elvis, 1956