Federal Disaster

By lovetvfan [kmcarthurfanfiction@gmail.com]

Rated: PG-13

Submitted: June 2023

Summary: Lois and Clark are about to get married. Things have
never been better. Except for one thing...Lois is terrified. All
of her past intimate relationships have been, well...Federal
Disasters. Before she can voice her fears to Clark, not one, but
two of her past disasters come back to haunt her in ways she
never could have expected. Throw in a threat against the
President of the United States and it's just a typical day for
Lois and Clark.

Story Size: 92,467 words (502Kb as text)

Author's Note: This started out as a simple idea. A short "what
would happen if Lois had to confront part of her past"? But then
of course nothing ever goes as simply as I intend for it and what
began as a relatively small idea ballooned into...well, this.

An absolutely MASSIVE thank you to my beta reader, twinnie, and
partner in crime, ksarasara. She supported me every step of the
way on this story. She collaborated with me. She poked me when
necessary. She poked holes in my plot when necessary. She made
sure every slot A fit into Slot B and helped me to get un-stalled
when I got stalled. Every bit of feedback that this story gets
belongs just as much to her beacuse without her this story would
have lingered in fanfiction limbo. I cannot put into words how
grateful I am to have her as a beta, as a writing partner and
friend. THANK YOU.

Thank you to Carrie Rene for making awesome banners for the
story!! And a huge thanks to AnnaBtG, who GE'd this behemoth of
a story!

I used the Taylor Swift song "The Archer" as a key source of
inspiration for this story as well so it's worth listening to.

Three "Federal Disaster" banners by CarrieRene: 
https://i.postimg.cc/P58qsBGD/FD-3.jpg
https://i.postimg.cc/QxCtSF00/FD-2.jpg
https://i.postimg.cc/ncWLWnWZ/FD-1.jpg

***

Chapter 1

Lois didn't want to leave. She never wanted to leave. Clark's
lips were on her neck, gently making their way down to her collar
bone, softly, teeth grazing her skin just lightly enough to send
bolts of heat throughout her body. She bit back a whimper of
pleasure and closed her eyes allowing herself to enjoy the
feeling of being in her fiance's arms after a hard day of work
on the couch in his apartment.

They'd barely been able to keep their hands off each other as
they'd gotten into the elevator at work. It had been that way
ever since they had officially gotten engaged. Something about
seeing that ring on her finger had emboldened both of them -- had
made them feel as if they didn't want to waste a single moment
learning what it felt like to be fully and completely in love.

And they hadn't. Lois had driven Clark back to his apartment and
they had all but tumbled through the door, his lips on hers the
moment they crossed the threshold. She'd melted into the
embrace, threading her hands through his hair and allowing him to
guide her -- stumbling as they went -- down the stairs and over
to the couch where they'd proceeded to get lost in each other
for a torturous hour now.

He felt so good. He always felt so good. It was like he knew just
how to touch her...just where to touch her. And right now one of
his hands was caressing her cheek while the other rested on her
hip, his mouth still trailing gentle but extremely electrifying
kisses on her collarbone, his body pressing forward -- urging her
to lie down.

"Lois," he said, his voice a husky whisper against her skin.
The hand on her hip gripped her tighter. "I love you."

"I love you too," she told him, after he captured her lips for
a slow, tantalising kiss. His body pressed against hers again and
she reached out to grab hold of him as she found herself sinking
into his couch. He repositioned himself so that he was able to
lay atop her, which caused her heart to race.

She placed her hands on his chest, marvelling at how solid he
was. His kisses deepened and she found herself undoing the
buttons on his shirt, opening it and touching the warm expanse of
his chest underneath. The sharp intake of breath told her more
than words could.

It also told her that if she didn't leave soon, things were
going to get out of hand, and as tempting as it was, she knew if
that happened, they would be pouring gasoline onto an already
pretty intense fire. They had agreed to wait. She wanted to
wait.

But the way he was making her feel...

"Clark," she managed to make out between increasingly ardent
kisses. "I should...I should go...home, I mean. I should..."

He kissed her again and she forgot the world existed. They were
getting carried away. Lately, it felt like they were always
getting carried away. It almost felt as if their decision to wait
made moments like this far more intense -- like they were doing
something they shouldn't be.

It felt...dangerous and yet incredibly safe at the same time.

"You were saying?" His voice was a low rumble in her ear that
almost made her gasp out loud.

"I was saying..." *I need to go,* she told herself. *We both
wanted to wait...wanted...* "I want you..."

And she did. The way he was touching her, kissing her, nibbling
gently on her ear had every single sense tingling. She was so
absorbed in the way he was touching her she almost didn't hear
him say "I want you too..."

She gave in to the feelings he was invoking in her, allowing his
hand to move to the other breast and murmuring words of
encouragement as he touched her. It wasn't until he tried to
remove the entire shirt that the phone rang, startling both of
them and causing Lois to push him back in surprise as if they
were teenagers who had just been caught making out.

"You...you should answer that," she said, running her hands
through her hair to make sure it wasn't a total mess.

"It's probably my parents," Clark said and she could tell by
the way he said it -- so tightly controlled -- that he was trying
to calm himself down. "I don't have to..."

"No, you should," Lois said, scrambling off the couch and
hastily reaching back to hook her bra back up. "I should
go...I'll see you tomorrow for work?"

"Yeah," he said and they shared one more look of heated
understanding before he reached for the phone, answering it as he
buttoned up his shirt again.

"Hello? Hi, Mom....no, you're not disturbing anything, Lois and
I were just...yes, she's here but she's leaving. Okay, okay,
I'll tell her."

He covered his hand over the receiver as she put on her coat and
grabbed her bag. "My mom says hi."

"Goodnight, Clark," Lois murmured as she opened the door to
leave. "I'll see you tomorrow."

***

Lois let out a whoosh of air as she put the key in the ignition
of her Jeep, trying desperately to banish the feeling of his
hands on her, his lips on her neck, the deep warm rumble of his
voice in her ear.

She had almost given in, almost allowed those incredible feelings
to take over and...

She shook her head, put the car into drive and pulled out onto
the road. She had no idea why this was such a big deal in the
first place -- making love to her fiance, that is. It wasn't as
if they were children. They were grown adults who loved each
other.

They were engaged to be married -- on the cusp of making the
biggest commitment two people could make to one another. And she
wasn't frightened of that at all. She was looking forward to the
idea of being able to call him her husband -- of being able to
take the final step in their partnership. Not just a writing
team, but partners in life and every other sense of the word.

If she was that certain that she was ready to spend her life with
him, why did it matter when they made love? Now or two months
from now, what was the difference? It was a question she
couldn't answer, and one she'd been asking herself ever since
she and Clark had discussed it during their most recent story in
which Lex Luthor's illegitimate son had tried to kill her by
trapping her in a virtual reality simulation.

She flushed as she turned the car left into the parking garage of
her apartment building, remembering how she and Clark had
discussed the most intimate details of their sex lives (or lack
thereof) under the watchful eyes of the son of a man she'd
almost married. A man who had turned out to be a psychopath just
like his father.

She exited the Jeep and headed upstairs to her apartment, locking
her door and going straight to the bedroom to change into her
comfiest pair of pyjamas. Tonight was a night for flannels and
ice cream, she decided. Between her extra hot make-out session
with Clark and the direction her thoughts were taking, a
microwave dinner and a cup of tea was not going to be enough.

To this day, having been taken in by Lex was one of her greatest
regrets. She'd tried her best to forget, to move on, but it
wasn't easy when your ex's name was still plastered across
multiple city buildings, still mentioned now and then in nightly
newscasts and late night shows and when she was continuously
recognised on the street by strangers as the woman who had almost
married Lex Luthor...or worse, the woman who had caused Lex to
fall to his death--at least before his untimely resurrection.

Despite the excellent and sensitive reporting of the incident
done by the *Daily Planet,* there was no way to put a stop to the
endless tabloid stories being pumped out almost monthly -- even
now two years later -- with a different spin every time on what
had happened between her and Lex.

What was worse was that nobody knew the real story -- not even
Perry and Jimmy. They didn't know that Clark had told her he
loved her back then in a desperate attempt to convince her not to
marry Luthor, nor did they know she'd thrown herself at Superman
almost immediately afterwards. They certainly didn't know that
Clark Kent was Superman and how by throwing herself at Superman
she'd broken his heart twice over.

He'd assured her that it was all in the past -- that they had
made a fresh start and they were both deliriously in love.

And they were. She was. She most definitely was. So why was the
thought of intimacy -- true physical intimacy -- absolutely
terrifying? Why, when she was away from Clark and the
intoxicating nature of his kisses did she become filled with
doubts, insecurities and fears?

It was the strangest thing. She hadn't felt that way half an
hour ago when she'd been on the couch with Clark's body on top
of her giving her the most deeply passionate kisses she had ever
experienced. It was as if her body had the ability to shut off
her thoughts, preventing her worries and doubts from surfacing as
long as his lips and hands were on her, touching her, caressing
her.

She wondered if she should just give in and tell him there was no
use in waiting. After all, nearly every time they were together
her body seemed to be sending the message that all systems were
'go'. It was her mind that was the problem. What happened if
they got married and those doubts and fears never went away? What
if she was never able to fully satisfy him?

She'd tried to tell herself these fears were mainly pre-wedding
jitters combined with the fact that Lex Luthor had come back to
life and been subsequently sent to jail, not to mention the
recent revelation that he'd had a son.

Dr. Friskin would have told her that all of these events put
together might trigger unresolved issues having to do with Lex
and her almost-wedding, but Lois wasn't sure that was the only
issue at play.

Lex might have been the most publicly visible of her long line of
federal disasters, but he hadn't been the first to hurt her. And
while almost marrying a psychopath had certainly done the most
emotional damage, her trust had been shattered long before that
by someone else. That honour belonged to a man Lois had worked
with, trusted, and who had betrayed that trust by sleeping with
her, and leaving her, but not before he stole a story she'd
written that had earned him a Kerth award.

She sighed and put down the pint of ice cream she'd been
spooning into a bowl. Placing it back in the freezer, she padded
over to the wine rack and popped the cork open on a merlot that
she'd intended to share with Clark one night when they had time
for dinner together. Dinner would have to wait. Tonight was now a
red wine and ice cream kind of night.

It had been a long time since she'd thought about Claude and the
damage he'd done. Though she was completely in love with Clark,
the ghost of that old wound lingered even still. She had been
hurt when she had woken up alone and even more devastated when
he'd informed her via a note on her desk that he'd returned to
France. When she'd noticed her story was no longer on her hard
drive and it had popped up in the next day's edition of the
paper with his byline on it, she had been furious.

It had been a harsh lesson but one Lois had learned and learned
well -- that men could not be trusted. It was possibly the only
thing that helped her get through the Lex Luthor situation -- the
fact that she'd hardened her heart to a point where Lex's
betrayal hadn't made as much of a dent as it could have.

She hadn't loved Lex after all -- not the way she'd thought she
loved Claude and certainly not the way she loved Clark.

And it hadn't been love with Claude -- not really. She knew that
now. Her feelings for Claude felt like they belonged in another
lifetime to another woman -- a woman who wore her heart on her
sleeve, trusted too readily and hadn't been able to see the very
glaring warning signs that were right in front of her. It had
been a muted sort of feeling, like being under water.

Loving Clark was like being dragged into the light after years in
darkness. Everything around her was bright and vivid, vibrant and
alive. She wanted to hold onto this feeling forever and trust
that it would never leave her -- never go away.

But she'd thought she'd found forever before this. And though
she trusted Clark with all her heart and soul, she didn't trust
herself not to somehow sabotage what she had found with him. She
was her own worst enemy at times.

Case in point: she was eating ice cream and drinking red wine on
her own instead of at Clark's apartment right now making love
with him.

She gave one more frustrated sigh before dropping the bowl and
spoon into the sink, giving her dishes a quick wash and popping a
movie into her VCR with the full intention of zoning out as she
watched it.

She knew it would only take one phone call and he'd be here
watching the movie with her but she didn't trust herself around
him. She would see him tomorrow. He'd give her that incredible
smile that always turned her to goo and she would kiss him good
morning and all would be right with the world.

Plus, they were getting married in two months. What could
possibly go wrong?

***

Chapter 2

Lois was nervous when she saw Clark the following morning at the
*Planet*. She wasn't used to being nervous around him and she
wasn't sure she liked the feeling. She'd been nervous when
he'd first asked her out on a date, but that had been a
different kind of nervous. The kind where you're scared, but
also excited...there was a delicious sort of anticipation that
accompanied the fear, making it worth it.

This was different. She felt unsure of herself -- as if the world
had tilted slightly on its axis and she was struggling to
balance.

He was waiting for her at her desk with a single red rose. He'd
been doing things like this lately -- flowers, chocolates, little
notes in her bag or pockets telling her he loved her or he
couldn't wait to see her. It normally made her beyond happy to
know that he cared for her so deeply.

Today, it made her stomach churn with uncertainty.

"Good morning," he said with a gentle kiss on her cheek. She
smiled half-heartedly and took the offered rose. "I enjoyed last
night."

"Me too," she said, surprised at the slight tremor in her
voice. Where did that come from? She looked down at the rose she
still held and placed it on her desk. She almost wished he
wasn't so thoughtful. It only made her worry more.

Sure, he was eager to show his love via small gifts and notes
now, but what about once they were married? Would he be as
devoted once he'd gotten the one thing their relationship
currently lacked? Was the anticipation of what was to come the
inspiration for all the displays of affection?

"Good," he said and the relief in his voice was palpable. "I
thought...well I was a bit worried especially since you ran off
when my mom called. I didn't want you to think that I was
pushing for...well, I know we agreed to wait."

"It's fine," she said, waving it away as if to banish the
anxiety swirling around in her head. "I just...it was a good
time for me to go before..."

"Before things got out of hand?" he said, and the low
suggestive tone of his voice sent shivers through her entire
body. Suddenly, she felt as if she were unable to breathe. The
way he was looking at her felt almost indecent.

"Yes..." was all she could manage to get out. Oh God, he was
really looking forward to this. His first time. With her.

What if she didn't live up to the hype? After all, when you
built something up in your head, more often than not you came up
disappointed. What if that happened with Clark?

She looked back at him, feeling almost panicked. He clearly
noticed because he took both of her hands and covered them with
his large ones. She felt instantly grounded and protected.

"I will be honest with you...part of me wanted things to get out
of hand," he said in a quiet voice. She swallowed heavily. "I
want you. Sometimes so much I can't think straight. I look at
you and it's all I can think about. *You* are all I can think
about. But I know it's important to you to wait. And I
understand. It will make things far more special to make love to
you as husband and wife."

He kissed her softly, lovingly and stood back, his dark eyes
searching hers for understanding.

Her emotions swirled around. She was terrified. His first time.
Their first time. A first like that should be incredible -- life
altering. At least that's what music and movies told you. But it
wasn't always so.

She thought back to her own first time in high school.

She'd been a senior and had been dating a boy named Jason
Mackenzie. He'd taken her to her prom and she had decided she
was ready. She had convinced herself she loved him, and because
of it, she had built it up in her head to be the most powerful
and magical experience of her life.

Instead, Jason had lasted all of five minutes and fallen asleep,
leaving her frustrated and hugely disappointed. He'd then broken
up with her a week later claiming that going to different
universities would make it too difficult to maintain a long
distance relationship. She'd been crushed at the time but she
had also learned an important lesson -- you shouldn't get your
hopes up.

She didn't want to get Clark's hopes up. Not when he was being
as attentive as he was.

"Lois?"

She still hadn't responded. She shook herself out of her anxious
thoughts. She must be panicking...finding faults where there were
none. She loved Clark and he loved her. She would not talk
herself out of this. She wanted it too much.

"I understand that feeling," she admitted to him, flushing
slightly with embarrassment. Despite how comfortable she was with
him in every other circumstance, talking to him about sex made
her feel like a teenager all over again.

"What feeling?" he asked her, running his thumb gently over her
knuckles and causing her to shiver. Maybe she had nothing to
worry about. After all, if his thumb could cause her to feel this
way with just a touch...well, they did have amazing chemistry
together so far.

"Wanting it to get out of hand," she breathed. "Last night, I
wanted..."

"Lane! Kent!" The familiar bark of Perry White, Editor In Chief
of the *Daily Planet* startled both of them out of the intimate
moment they had somehow managed to create for themselves. Lois
even saw Clark visibly jump a little bit, which caused her to
giggle slightly. He looked like a kid who had been caught with
his hand in the cookie jar.

Perry made his way over to the two of them with long purposeful
strides. Lois could tell by the look in his eyes that something
was up -- something that required the specific talents of Lane
and Kent.

"What's up, Chief?" Lois asked as she surreptitiously
extricated her hands from Clark's. Perry had recently split with
his wife, Alice, and she knew it had been hard on him, despite
his claims that he was okay. It caused her to be more conscious
of public displays of affection around him -- even small ones.

"You remember that trade agreement our government was working on
with the French government? Well, the President of France has
sent a delegation to Metropolis which includes their prime
minister. Our president is expected to meet with them at the
Lexor hotel over the course of the next two weeks to hammer out
the details. There will be a small amount of press allowed daily
for updates on their progress. I want you two on this."

"Why here?" Clark wondered, "why not Washington?"

"The French president requested it. Seems his prime minister
took quite a shine to this city a few years back when they
visited."

"I remember that," Lois said, softly. That had been before
Clark had come to the *Planet.* When she'd worked with...

"Oh, that's right!" Perry said, his face lighting up. "Well,
I am glad you remember that, Lois, because that's when we had
that young man from France working here for a few months on
exchange...Claude Dupont. You remember him?"

Lois felt her heart lurch in her chest and the colour drain from
her face. With trembling hands, she found her office chair and
sank down into it. Perry didn't seem to notice her reaction, but
Clark certainly did. She could feel the concern in his eyes
burning into her as she spoke.

"I remember."

Perry continued speaking, oblivious to both their reactions.

"That's good, because his paper is sending him down here as
well to cover the talks. They've already asked that he work with
the *Planet* on this one as a show of unity. And you two got
along so well the last time, well...it was a no brainer. You okay
with that?"

No. No, she was not okay. She was the furthest from okay that she
could get. Okay was in Alaska. But what on Earth could she
possibly say to Perry? She'd been new to the paper when she'd
fallen for Claude. She hadn't told anybody about their
relationship and neither had he. He'd told her he wanted to keep
it a secret -- to keep things professional at work. Lois had been
so desperate to prove herself to Perry that she hadn't wanted to
do anything that would hurt her chances of rising up the ranks.
It wasn't until far later with the hindsight of experience that
she'd realised his true motivation had been to take what he
wanted physically and emotionally while helping himself to her
work as well.

"Sounds good, Perry," Clark replied, leaping to her rescue for
the millionth time. He must have noticed her distress because he
reached over and squeezed her hand. She gave him a grateful
smile. She'd told him about Claude when he'd joined the
*Planet* in a rare moment of vulnerability when she thought they
were about to die, and while she hadn't mentioned him since,
Clark knew that her past relationships were part of the reason it
had taken her so long to trust him. He must know the impact this
was having on her.

"Excellent," Perry replied, pleased with the arrangements.
"His flight is due to arrive in Metropolis at two. He should be
here by three, which should give you just enough time to have a
little tete-a-tete. Clark, you're going to like this man. He was
a good writer when he was here with us. I think he won an award
for his piece on corruption in the police department. You
remember that?"

"I remember," Lois said tightly. It should have been her first
Kerth.

"Right," Perry said, finally sensing some tension. "Well,
I'll let you two uh...get some brainstorming done. I have to
find Jimmy. That fool kid is trying to set me up again and
I...well, I'll see you later."

Lois let out a breath she hadn't realised she'd been holding as
Perry made his way towards his office. Clark sat down on the
corner of her desk and laid a comforting hand on her shoulder.
She noticed that his jawline was firm. He didn't like this
either, but was trying to control his reaction for her sake.

"You okay?"

She wished everyone would stop asking that question.

"I'm fine," she lied, looking anywhere but the face of her
partner. A lead ball had formed in the pit of her stomach and she
felt slightly nauseous. She wasn't supposed to see him again. It
was the only positive thing about getting her heart broken and
her story stolen. He was supposed to have gone off to France
never to be seen again.

And now he was coming back. Just when she felt like the pieces of
her life were falling into place. She looked back up to see that
Clark was looking at her -- searching her expression for
reassurance. But it was reassurance she couldn't give.

"Are you sure? I bet I can get Perry to assign us to something
else..."

"No," she said sharply -- too sharply. His concerned frown
deepened and she had to look away again.

"Lois, you told me what happened with him," he said and for
some reason the gentleness in his tone bothered her. She wasn't
some fragile thing that could fall apart so easily. She was Lois
Lane.

"It was a long time ago," she replied, softening her tone ever
so slightly in the hopes that he would believe her. She let some
of the tension drain from her shoulders as she tried to convince
herself it would be okay. She wasn't that same scared novice
reporter she'd been all those years ago. Things were different
now. She had her reputation, her awards...and she had Clark. "I
was a very different person. Whatever happened back then...it's
in the past. I promise."

"Okay," he said and she knew that he would drop it for her
sake.

"Thank you," she said, reaching up and touching his cheek
gently with her finger. "For being so understanding. Promise me
you won't say anything about...that you'll be polite. For my
sake?"

"I promise," he replied, giving her a soft kiss on the
forehead. "I'll be the picture of professional courtesy.
However, I reserve the right to daydream about punching him in
the face. Deal?"

She laughed her first real laugh of the morning.

"Deal."

***

Chapter 3

Lois went through the rest of the morning and afternoon on auto
pilot. Desperate to avoid dealing with any of the complicated
feelings that inevitably accompanied thoughts about Claude or
what had happened with him, she forced herself to think about the
upcoming trade talks and bounced ideas off of Clark on what kind
of angle they might take and how they should cover it as a team.
He didn't say anything further to her about Claude, but she was
extremely aware of the way he watched her -- cautiously but
without pity. She was grateful. The last thing she wanted was to
be pitied by the man she admired most.

By the time two thirty rolled around, they had brainstormed all
they could. Lois found herself pushing her chair away from her
computer, blinking and standing up to stretch. Clark did the
same, placing a hand on her shoulder and giving it a short but
very satisfying rub. She let out a soft groan of appreciation.

"You are so good at that. Where did you learn it?" she asked.
"No, wait...don't tell me...a buddhist monk in Tibet taught
you."

Clark laughed.

"No monks," he said quietly. "Maybe I just know how to touch
you." Lois allowed his voice to wash over her and gave into the
host of fantasies that suddenly flashed through her mind. Was he
right? Was it really that simple? God, she hoped so.

She checked her watch and frowned.

"He should be here soon," she said heavily. Clark nodded and
took a deep breath.

"We can still ask Perry to re-assign us," he offered, though
she could tell from his tone of voice that he knew the effort was
futile. "If not for you, for me. I mean, working with the guy
who...did that to you isn't exactly top of my career highlights
list."

"That's nice, Clark, but I think I need to face this," she
replied and something inside her knew that much, at least, was
true. "Besides, I don't want Perry asking too many questions.
He doesn't know what happened."

"Maybe he should," Clark said. The hard edge his voice had
taken on told Lois he was trying to control the anger he was
feeling. She understood. She'd been angry over having her work
stolen, not to mention her heart broken for a long time. "The
man took credit for your work -- got an award for *your* work.
Perry should know that. I mean why didn't *you* tell him when it
happened?"

"It's complicated," Lois replied, feeling slightly defensive
now. "You wouldn't understand."

"Try me," he said, his voice softening slightly. He pulled her
close and trailed a finger down the line of her jaw. She closed
her eyes and savoured the feeling of it. "You're right, I
wasn't there. But I want to understand. You're Lois Lane. Why
would you protect him then? Or now?"

"Because," she said, feeling exasperation creeping into her
voice once more. Sometimes his naivete was extremely charming and
other times it was downright grating. "I wasn't *Lois Lane*
then!"

He raised an eyebrow.

"Oh? You went by a different name? Had a secret identity
perhaps?"

He was lucky his tone was light -- their normal, familiar
banter.

"Ha-ha," she retorted, slightly amused at his attempt to
lighten her mood. But he still wasn't getting it. "I mean, I
was a young female reporter who had yet to make a name for
myself. He was seasoned -- a pro. People knew him, they liked
him! Perry liked him."

She shook herself out of Clark's embrace and paced back and
forth a bit, keeping her eye on the elevator, lest it open and
reveal the object of their conversation.

"I get that," Clark said with a small smile. "I know what
it's like to be a hack from Nowheresville."

"It's different than that," she said, feeling frustrated at
having to explain what was painfully obvious to every
professional career woman. "As a man you don't have to
automatically fight for basic respect. That's a given. Perry
respected you the moment you walked in the door, even if he
didn't think you were cut out for the *Planet* yet. You didn't
have to prove yourself like I did."

"I'm sorry," he said, his voice genuinely contrite. "I guess
I didn't think of that."

Lois sighed and shook her head, grateful at least that he wasn't
the type of guy to argue that casual sexism didn't exist when it
was pointed out to him.

"If something like that happened now, I would know what to do,"
she admitted. "And Perry would have my back, no questions asked,
but back then...it was different. And I don't want Perry to know
that I was manipulated like that. Don't you understand? I may
have three Kerths under my belt, but his approval still means the
world to me."

She spoke the last sentence with a tremor in her voice. She
looked down at her shoes and tried to control the tears that
suddenly threatened to fall. She hated going back to that time in
her life. That time when she was so new and everything was so
uncertain and she took people at their word rather than by their
actions. She'd never quite forgiven that version of herself for
being so willing to trust those who hadn't proven themselves
worthy of it. After all, if she'd been just a little more
street-wise, maybe she wouldn't have kept Clark at bay for so
long.

She hadn't realised his arms were around her until she was
leaning her head against the solid comfort of his chest. She
swallowed heavily and composed herself.

"People are probably staring," she murmured into the fabric of
his jacket.

He tipped her chin up to meet his loving gaze and brought her
lips to his, whispering, "Then let's give them something to
stare at."

When they parted, she touched the side of his face tenderly and
marvelled at the depth of love she could see in his eyes.

"How did I get so lucky?" she asked. He chuckled.

"I ask myself the same question every day." He stood back and
picked up the notes they had written on the trade talks in
preparation for Claude's arrival. Lois watched him quietly,
knowing he didn't need a tenth of the time it was taking him to
read those notes. When he looked up, he gave her a thin smile.

"I promised I wouldn't say anything, and I promised I would
behave," he assured her. "And I will. But...for the
record...you could never disappoint Perry. Or me. I hope you know
that."

"I do," she said, trying to ignore the pit in her stomach that
felt she wasn't being truthful. She wanted to believe that there
was nothing to worry about -- but life had spent a long time
teaching her otherwise. She couldn't help but always feel as if
the other shoe was about to drop.

And drop it did as the chime of the elevator caused both of their
heads to turn and watch as Claude Dupont stepped into the
newsroom. It didn't take him long to spot Lois. A sideways
glance at Clark, who stood as rigid as a statue, told her that
he'd also figured out who he was. She took a deep breath. This
could get interesting.

As he walked towards them, Lois took him in. He looked the same
and yet somehow completely different. He was a tall, lean man
with sharp cheekbones and an aristocratic nose. He had deep blue
eyes and wore an impeccably tailored suit that made Clark's look
shabby by comparison. There were creases around his eyes that
hadn't been there before -- he'd been older than her when she
had known him almost ten years ago. He was still handsome. And
Lois hated herself for noticing.

"Lois!" he exclaimed as he reached the two of them. "It's
been so long. You look...incredible. Absolutely incredible. Time
has been very good to you."

"And to you," she replied coolly, not wanting to sound eager or
rude.

"And you must be Mr. Kent," he said, turning to Clark with a
smile and offering his hand. "I saw the billboards as I came in.
The hottest writing team in town. It is my absolute pleasure to
meet you."

"The....pleasure...is all mine," Clark said. On the surface he
sounded perfectly polite, but Lois knew the current of anger that
simmered below the surface.

Claude looked back at Lois and she stood up a little straighter.
She would not be intimidated. She was not a novice anymore; she
was an equal.

"I can't believe it's been so long," he said again with a
shake of his head. "I've followed your career, you know."

"You have?" Lois said, mildly surprised. She hadn't followed
his. "I...didn't realise."

"You've covered some great stories," he continued. "Some of
the best. I even saw that you've won three Kerths!"

"Four," Lois couldn't help but blurt. Claude had the good
grace to look away, but said nothing. Clark broke the tension by
clearing his throat. He spoke, a friendly mild mannered
expression plastered across his normally expressive face .

"We should probably get to work."

He handed Claude the notepad that they'd been using to
brainstorm on and he busied himself for a moment reading their
notes. Lois felt herself relax slightly. Despite the feelings
cascading through her, she also couldn't help but feel a sense
of normalcy at the sight in front of her. She could recall
numerous occasions where she'd made notes on something she
thought could be a story only to run it by Claude first in the
hopes that he would offer his approval or advice.

This time however, she didn't feel the need for him to validate
her work. She and Clark knew how good they were -- the billboards
proved it.

He turned back to them and handed her the notepad.

"This is good," was all he said. "I like where you want to go
with this. But there's more that you should know about these
talks. In fact...it's the reason I asked to be assigned to work
with you again."

"What do you mean?" Lois asked, noticing that the mask Clark
had plastered on his face was slowly being replaced by a
curiosity that matched her own.

Claude hesitated, looking between her and Clark for a moment as
if trying to decide something.

"I...would prefer to talk to you about it alone, Lois," he
said, and Lois was reminded of all the times that gentle French
accent had completely blinded her, leading her to agree with
whatever he asked. Not this time.

"Anything you have to say, you can say in front of Clark," she
replied firmly, not missing the small smile that flitted across
his mouth. "He's my fiance and my partner and I would trust him
with my life."

"What about the life of your president?" Claude asked, his
voice suddenly deadly serious.

***

Chapter 4

Lois and Clark quickly ushered Claude into the conference room.
She watched as Clark made a show of closing the blinds and
checking the door to make sure it was locked, but knew that it
was a cover for an even deeper surveillance -- the kind that only
Superman could provide. When he was satisfied that nobody was
listening, he gave her a small nod and they both turned to face
Claude.

"What do you know?" she asked him, cutting straight to the
point. She saw him hesitate for a split second, then sit down at
the table. He touched a hand to his temples and Lois noticed he
was greying there now.

"I shouldn't know any of this," he said, his voice heavy.

"Any of what?" Clark asked, no longer masking the irritation in
his voice. Lois touched his arm gently and felt him relax.

Claude sighed. "I haven't had a career as successful as yours,
Lois," he said, and Lois felt a thrill of satisfaction go
through her despite the seriousness of the situation. "I don't
cover big stories. Mostly, I just get the press junkets
and...what do you call them.... 'puff pieces'?"

He looked around, his eyes darting back and forth, and Lois
noticed for the first time how genuinely distressed he was. She
could tell by the look on her partner's face, that he noticed it
too. However complicated her feelings were for him, she knew she
needed to put them aside and focus on the matter at hand.

"Go on," she said softly, sitting down next to him and giving
him what she hoped was an encouraging smile.

"I was asked to cover a school program that allows kids to take
a tour through the Assemblee Nationale where our parliament
meets. It was a simple story, and after I was finished making my
notes, I went to find the men's room. I don't often get
assigned to cover anything in the Palais Bourbon and I got lost
in the corridors. I ended up in some kind of cabinet meeting
room. I thought I had found the door back to the hallway, but it
turned out to be a broom closet instead."

He looked a little sheepish and Lois found herself fighting the
impulse to roll her eyes.

"Then what?" Clark asked, and Lois could tell he still wasn't
convinced that Claude had seen or heard anything that might point
to the President being in danger.

"The door accidentally shut behind me. I was about to open it
when I heard voices enter the meeting room. They sounded
familiar, so I listened in and I overheard them discussing a plot
to assassinate the President of the United States during the
trade talks. They have men...powerful men in your government who
are also involved. They talked about having hired someone -- a
professional from your country who could make the shot from so
far away even Superman couldn't hear it."

"Did they say why?" Lois asked, a feeling of ice cold fear
overcoming her. This was big. And highly dangerous if what Claude
was saying was true. "Or when? Did you get a look at them? Or
contact the authorities, or...?"

"Lois," Clark said softly, placing a hand gently on her
shoulder. Too fast. She was going too fast. She took a deep
breath and let Claude speak.

"No," Claude said, shaking his head quickly. "I didn't hear
why or when. And I couldn't see them. I couldn't risk opening
the door and being caught. All I know is their voices sounded
familiar, but given that I was in the Parliament buildings, they
could be anyone in government. And no, I didn't contact the
authorities. I didn't know who to trust or how high it went."

She watched as he stood up and checked the blinds once more. She
noticed his hands were shaking. It was obvious this was the first
story he'd covered that involved any real danger. When he was
satisfied once more that nobody could see him, he turned back to
the two of them.

"When I heard my paper was sending someone to cover the talks, I
had to beg, borrow and steal to get assigned to it. I had to see
you, Lois. Had to warn you. I told you I've followed your
career. I know that you know Superman. I thought maybe you could
get a message to him...to warn him."

"We will," Clark said in that reassuring tone she'd heard him
use so often in the past with sources who were stressed or
scared.

"What about our government?" Lois wondered though the moment
she spoke the fear in Claude's eyes only grew. "Surely we
should warn the President."

"No!" Claude exclaimed, then immediately looked scared by his
own outburst. "We have no idea who we can trust. These weren't
maintenance workers I overheard. My own prime minister might have
been in that room for all I know -- or at least be in on it, not
to mention you have no idea how high this goes on your end. We
can't trust anyone."

Lois suddenly felt silly. He was right. Unless they could warn
the President directly, using official channels might backfire.

"What about cancelling the trade talks?" Claude suggested, and
it was Lois' turn to shake her head.

"We do that, and whoever is behind this will simply find a
different time or place -- one we don't already know about."

"Superman might be able to get a message directly to the
President," Clark said, shooting Lois a meaningful look. "After
all, wouldn't it be a great idea to have Superman officially
welcome the President and French Prime Minister to the trade
talks?"

"That...that could work," Claude said, sounding slightly
surprised.

"Meanwhile, I think it's up to us to figure out exactly who is
behind this and why they want the President dead," Lois said,
feeling her old familiar rhythm take over. "After all, trade
talks between the US and France aren't exactly controversial.
Who would go to these sorts of lengths to stop the deal from
going through?"

"Maybe it's not the deal itself that's important," Clark
said, snapping his fingers excitedly. *Yes,* Lois thought to
herself. *This is what I know how to do.* "Maybe the trade talks
are just an excuse. Whoever wants the President dead could have
an entirely different reason."

"Then we need to find out what that reason is," Lois nodded.
"Maybe Bobby Bigmouth could help?"

"This might be above his pay grade," Clark said with a frown.
Claude watched their exchange, his head moving back and forth
like a spectator at a tennis match.

"True," she agreed. She looked at Claude again. "You said that
they hired someone from the US to take the shot? Someone so good
even Superman couldn't hear it? Someone that good might have a
military background. We should run a check on any known snipers
both active and discharged. See who pops up."

"Good idea," Clark agreed.

"What should I do?" Claude asked, and Lois shot a look at Clark
that seemed to say the same thing.

"You should go to your hotel and get some rest," Lois said and
she didn't miss the look of relief that came over him. "We'll
let you know if we find anything."

Claude nodded and stood up. He looked at Lois and gave her a
smile that in a different life would have melted her completely.
Now she felt nothing.

"I really did miss you, Lois," he said and he peeked through
the blinds one more time before leaving the conference room.

Lois let out a deep breath and found herself being enveloped
swiftly in Clark's arms. He held her there for a while before
either of them said anything.

When they parted, she allowed herself a long, lingering look at
the face of the man she was going to soon marry. A face that
promised unconditional love and support. It was times like this
when she looked into his face that she could genuinely believe
that everything would be all right.

It was only when she was alone and at the mercy of her own
insecurities that she began to doubt herself.

And now this threat. It sent chills up her spine. A threat
against the President was bad enough as it was, but she couldn't
help but shake the nagging feeling that it went deeper than they
thought. After all, trade talks between the two countries were
hardly controversial.

"What's going on in that brilliant brain of yours?" Clark
spoke softly and placed a kiss on her forehead.

"Just worried about this threat, I guess," she told him.

"You think he's telling the truth?" Clark asked with a
furrowed brow. "I mean you haven't seen the man in almost ten
years and he just walks in and says there is a threat, but what
if there isn't?"

"I don't think he'd have any reason to lie," Lois reasoned.
"Where would it get him?"

"I don't know," Clark admitted. "But you trust him?"

Lois hesitated. Trust was a loaded word for her, after all. And
Claude had broken her trust pretty spectacularly when he'd slept
with her under false pretenses and stolen her story.

"I trust that he's scared," she said finally. "Whether
there's any credibility to his fear is what we have to figure
out. I can't allow how I feel about him to potentially endanger
the President. For now, I think we have to take him at his
word."

"I do too," Clark said heavily. She knew he didn't like it
either. "There's not much we can do today. Why don't we head
back to my place? I can make us dinner and we can cuddle on the
couch...maybe do some more of this..."

He leaned forward to kiss her neck causing her whole body to
react to his touch. She let out a soft moan and felt her body
press tightly to his. It would be so very easy to just give in to
him -- after all, she trusted him. He was the one person in her
crazy world that made sense to her.

He took her lack of verbal response as further encouragement and
cupped her face in his hands pulling her close for a long, deep,
sensuous kiss that left her breathless.

"Come home with me, Lois?" he asked, his voice husky and eyes
dark.

And she wanted to. Lord knew she wanted to, but something nagged
at her -- crawled into the back of her mind and refused to
leave.

*Come home with me,* he'd said. They hadn't yet talked about
where they would live when they were married. There was still so
much they didn't know about each other -- about what it meant to
live with someone and share your life with them. What if he hated
the way she chewed? Or he left his dirty capes all over the
floor?

Nobody got married expecting the marriage to fail. Her parents
certainly hadn't and look what happened to them.

"Lois?" He sounded worried now and she hated herself for being
the cause of it.

"I think I had better go home alone tonight," she said
reluctantly.

"Oh." She could see the hurt in his eyes even though he tried
to hide it.

"It's just...this has been a crazy day and I have a lot to
process," she explained, feeling like she was only putting her
foot further and further into her mouth with each word she spoke.
He looked down, then back at her again. The love she always saw
there hadn't wavered.

"Lois, if I made you uncomfortable in any way..." he trailed
off nervously, the feeling of the kisses they had shared a moment
ago still very much present in both their minds. "I said I will
wait if that's what you want. I promise to control myself."

"I know," she said, caressing his face gently. "But I can't
promise the same. You kiss me like that, Clark and all I want is
to get lost in it...lost in you."

"Is that such a bad thing?" he asked softly. She shook her
head.

"No, it's wonderful," she assured him. "But...when it
happens, I want it to be because we both need it to for the right
reasons. And right now...I'm not myself."

*Please understand,* her mind begged. He nodded and placed a
featherlight kiss on her cheek and her whole world shifted back
into place. They were okay. Was this what it was like to have
total honesty and trust? She could get used to this.

"I love you," he told her. "I'm only a phone call away if you
need me."

***

Chapter 5

Lois sank down onto her couch and closed her eyes. She hadn't
realised how badly she needed some space until now.

She was so used to compartmentalising or outright denying her
emotions that they sometimes took her by surprise. She still
wasn't the best at handling the feelings of insecurity or doubt
that seemed to creep up on her.

She stood up and made her way into the kitchen, where she pulled
the kettle from the cupboard and put it on the stove. Tea would
help. Tea always helped. She rustled through the drawer she kept
her tea bags in only to come across some of the special loose
leaf teas that Clark liked. She'd started keeping them here for
him once they'd gotten engaged. It had made her feel as if they
were already combining their lives at least a little. Now it
caused a little stab of fear to shoot through her.

It was easier assuming everyone would hurt and disappoint her.
But being in a relationship with someone she genuinely believed
in was even scarier. She knew what to do when men left. But she
had no idea how to handle it when they stayed. And Clark was
definitely intent on staying.

The kettle boiled and Lois poured her tea, heading back into the
living room. She set the tea down before heading into her bedroom
and changing into her pyjamas. It was partly for comfort and
partly for self control. She knew she wouldn't cave in and call
Clark asking him to come over if she was wearing the most
unflattering pair of flannel pjs and her fuzzy bunny slippers.

*He wouldn't care, you know,* her inner voice told her. *You
could be wearing a gunny sack and he'd still want you.* She
frowned. That should make her feel good. It should make her feel
over the moon, and most of the time it did. Ninety-five percent
of the time, Lois was walking on a cloud of air knowing that she
was well and truly loved by the most amazing man she had ever
met. But that five percent was still there. And sometimes it was
loud -- loud enough to cause her to doubt herself.

Because she didn't doubt him. She was the one who wasn't sure.
She was the one who didn't know how to navigate something this
good -- this healthy. Her past relationships all fell somewhere
on a scale between narcissist to psychopath.

And then there was Clark. Wonderful, sweet, sexy,
out-of-this-world Clark. A man who could make her forget her own
name with just the touch of his hand. A man whose eyes promised
forever every time he looked at her. A man who couldn't possibly
know what that promise meant to her because he'd grown up in a
home filled with unconditional love.

That concept was foreign to Lois. All love had come with
conditions for her. All love was transient. At least that's what
her parents had taught her. And so she'd held a part of herself
back from Clark. She'd told him she wanted to wait -- that she
wanted it to be special.

She took a sip of her tea, enjoying the taste of the soothing
herbal berry fruit concoction that she'd chosen. She couldn't
be bothered dealing with milk and sugar tonight. She just wanted
to sit and be.

She hadn't lied to him. She did want it to be special. But she
also knew that she was scared of what came after. Of what would
happen to her if she gave him all of her -- for that's what she
would be doing when they finally made love. She'd be completely
vulnerable with nowhere to hide and nobody to run to if things
didn't work out. Could she risk that? She'd never given herself
that fully to anyone -- not even the men she'd thought she loved
in her past.

In a way, though they had hurt her, having sex with them had been
easier. She'd known that she would heal. Even after Claude
destroyed her self-esteem and her trust, she had known she would
heal. And she had. She'd hardened herself...become
stronger...tougher.

Colder.

And then Clark came along and stripped away all armour and
pretense. When they finally made love, she'd be at the mercy of
the unknown.

And it would be one thing if she thought he had the same fears
and doubts, but one look in his eyes told her he didn't. He
might be anxious about being with her for the first time, but it
wasn't the same thing. He hadn't been hurt the way she had.

She sighed. Thinking about all this was giving her a headache.
She was supposed to be relaxing. But relaxing was difficult when
she knew that Clark was -- as he put it -- just a phone call away
and tomorrow's work day promised to put her face to face with
the man who had been the cause of some of these doubts and
fears.

She wasn't looking forward to seeing Claude again, but after
hearing about a potential assasination plot, it wasn't like they
could very well ask Perry to re-assign them. They were in this
now for better or for worse. She winced at the choice of words.

She shook her head and forced herself to focus on work. Work was
safer. She and Clark had made a plan of attack to begin by
looking at snipers capable of making a shot from far enough away
that Superman wouldn't hear it. But that was only half the
puzzle. The other half was figuring out who would want to kill
the President and why.

That one would be tougher. And Claude's presence would only
hinder them. After all, they couldn't speak freely about
Superman while he was around.

She took another sip of her tea and glanced over at her phone.
She wanted to call Clark. She wanted to invite him over, pop in a
movie and lean into his arms. She reached for it and almost made
the call but managed to stop herself. Being around him was too
dangerous right now.

One kiss would lead to another and before she knew it she would
want to take the comfort he offered even if he had promised to
behave himself. After all, how much temptation could a v...very
patient man like him endure?

She sighed and decided to run the bath instead. She'd order
takeout later and watch the movie herself. It occurred to her as
she turned the water on that it couldn't hurt to make an
appointment with Doctor Friskin. She hadn't had a session with
her in a while -- not since becoming engaged to Clark, mainly
because she hadn't felt she needed it. Those first few months of
their engagement had been a high like no other.

But now as the wedding loomed closer, the realities of an
impending marriage were beginning to set in, and Lois was feeling
it. It couldn't hurt to have a sounding board to tell her if her
fears were real or imagined.

Bathtub filled, she padded back into the kitchen and looked at
the calendar on the side of the fridge. She was relieved to see
that Monday nights were one of the nights Doctor Friskin stayed
later. Lois could still book an appointment.

She grabbed the phone, dialled the number and was automatically
connected to the secretary, who asked her in an absent voice to
"please hold."

She waited, trying to block out the irritating elevator music the
office used, until the secretary eventually came back on and
asked how she could help her. Lois informed her she was a patient
of Doctor Friskin's and that she would like to make an
appointment with her as soon as possible.

"I have something first thing tomorrow morning, would that
work?"

Lois thought about it. Clark would have to cover for her, but she
knew he wouldn't mind. She did it for him often enough after
all.

"That's fine," she told her, not for the first time grateful
that her job wasn't a normal nine to five like everyone else's.
It wasn't unusual for one of them to arrive later in the day or
even the afternoon if they were chasing leads on a story.

Appointment booked, she set the phone down and chewed her lip
slightly. This meant she would have to call Clark after all and
let him know that she would be late arriving to work. It also
meant leaving him alone with Claude.

She took a deep breath and dialled Clark's number. It had barely
rang once when she heard him pick up. Had he been waiting by the
phone? Her heart sank at the thought.

"Hi," she said, feeling oddly and inexplicably shy.

"Hi, yourself," he said and the warmth in his voice radiated
through the phone. "I didn't expect to hear from you. How are
you?"

She knew he was trying to sound casual and was failing miserably.
Superman notwithstanding, Clark was a terrible liar.

"Uh, fine," she replied, sounding equally awkward. "I was just
about to run a bath and I thought I would let you know that I
might be a bit late to work tomorrow. I have a...doctor's
appointment I forgot about."

"Everything okay?" he asked, switching from hopeful to
worried.

"Oh, yeah," she assured him, wondering why she didn't just
tell him she would be seeing Doctor Friskin. It's not as if he
didn't know she'd been her patient for a while now. "Nothing
special...totally routine."

"Good." Now he sounded just as unsure of himself as she did.
"It's just...for a minute I thought you were calling because
you changed your mind."

"No," she blurted, then backtracking added, "Not that I don't
want to. I do. Want to, I mean. But I got the bath all ready and
I'm in my fuzzy bunny slippers and everything..."

Wow. So it *was* possible to fit a size eight shoe entirely into
a person's mouth.

"Okay," he said after a moment or so of awkward silence.
"Well, I should probably let you get back to your bath."

"Yeah, thanks," she replied. "I'll uh...see you tomorrow
after my appointment."

She wanted to add that she was sorry to leave him to work with
Claude on his own and to remind him to behave himself, but found
herself unable to do it. She also wanted to invite him to join
her in the bath.

Nope. Nope. Nope.

She needed to get off the phone.

"I love you," he told her. "Goodnight."

"I love you too," she told him, hanging it up before she could
say anything she might regret.

***

Chapter 6

"So, Lois, it's been a while." Doctor Friskin's voice was
calm and welcoming -- completely at odds with how Lois was
feeling.

She wasn't used to talking about her feelings. She'd grown up
being taught that open displays of emotion could be used against
you. That had been further reinforced by every unsuccessful
relationship she'd been in. And there had been a lot. It had
been very difficult for her to come around to the idea that
having an objective professional help her sort through those
feelings was a good thing. Even then, it always took a certain
amount of courage for her to pick up the phone and actually make
the appointment.

"I guess I've been busy," Lois said, feeling somewhat
flustered under Doctor Friskin's scrutiny. She also wasn't used
to being at a loss for words.

"Yes, it certainly looks like it." Doctor Friskin nodded at her
engagement ring. Lois blushed and looked down at her hand. "The
last time I saw you, you still hadn't made up your mind. What
changed it?"

Lois thought for a moment before speaking.

"I got the chance to see life through his eyes -- you know, to
really understand the difficulties he faces and the choices he
has to make at times. It really put things into perspective."

Doctor Friskin gave a slow nod and wrote something on her pad.
Lois couldn't help but try to get a glance at it. She hated not
knowing what was being written about her.

"It helped you understand his absences, then?" Doctor Friskin
asked. "I remember you were conflicted about them."

"Yes," Lois replied, thinking about the juggling act that Clark
had to balance every day between work, being Superman and their
relationship. Having his powers -- even for the brief period
she'd had them -- had been a profound experience. She'd really
come to understand just how strong he was. Not because of what he
could do, but because of the way he managed to stay positive even
when things seemed hopeless.

"That's good," Doctor Friskin said, though her face and tone
remained the same. Lois couldn't help but think that she'd make
an excellent poker player. "So what would you like to talk about
today?"

"I don't know," Lois said, suddenly conflicted again. What if
she voiced her fears out loud and they sounded stupid? "My
career is going well, I am engaged, I have so much that I didn't
have even a year ago..."

She trailed off, not sure of how to say what she wanted to say
without sounding ungrateful. Doctor Friskin sensed her discomfort
and spoke again, this time her voice a little warmer.

"Lois, do you know why I call that couch you are sitting on my
'but couch'?"

Lois gave her a curious look.

"No."

"Because it's the place where people tell me what they want if
only they could get past themselves." Doctor Friskin chuckled at
the obvious confusion still etched over Lois' face. "The 'I
want to have a baby, but...' or the 'I think I need a new car,
but...' or the 'I want to change jobs, but...' Now, what's
yours?"

Lois took a deep breath. "I am engaged to marry the man I love,
but we haven't been physically intimate yet, and I am convinced
that once we are, I will somehow ruin everything and break his
heart, not to mention an ex of mine is also in town...well, I'm
not really sure if he counts as an ex...does he count as an ex if
he sleeps with you and then leaves you? Anyway, he's in town and
it's complicating things and there's a big problem at work that
he has to help us with and I don't know what to do."

She paused for a breath, took in Doctor Friskin's deer in
headlights look and gave a sheepish smile. "Wow. Big 'but'."

Doctor Friskin laughed, and nodded her head in agreement.

"That certainly sounds like a lot," she agreed and Lois relaxed
slightly knowing that Doctor Friskin was taking her concerns
seriously. Ironically, it made her feel less crazy. "Now, let's
talk about this 'ex who is not an ex'."

"Claude?" Lois said, blinking slightly. He hadn't been what
she'd thought Doctor Friskin would bring up first. Talk about
burying the lead. Still, she played along.

"If that's his name, yes," Doctor Friskin replied patiently.
"What happened with him?"

Lois took a deep breath and recounted the story that she'd told
Clark all those years ago. She found that, although it was still
painful to relive those feelings of hurt and abandonment, she no
longer felt the same anger that used to simmer in the pit of her
stomach. Something about seeing him standing next to Clark the
previous day had snuffed that anger out.

"So it sounds like Claude really affected your ability to
trust," Doctor Friskin was saying as she scratched something
else down on her pad. *What was she writing?*

"Yes," Lois replied, but then after some careful thought,
added, "but not just him. If I'm honest, Claude wasn't the
first to disappoint me like that. There was my boyfriend in high
school, and Paul from college and...well, let's just say that
the men who abandoned me after sleeping with me were the good
ones. The other ones, like Lex Luthor, turned out to be murderers
and sociopaths."

"So, is it just the fact that Claude is here that has you
conflicted?" Doctor Friskin wondered.

"No," Lois said after some careful thought. "I was thinking
about him before this. Clark and I hadn't talked about making
love until recently. He and I both shared some things about our
past. I told him I wanted to wait until our wedding night, and I
guess that's when I started thinking about it...about him."

"Why do you think that is?" Doctor Friskin asked. Lois resisted
the urge to grab the notepad out of her hands. Instead, she
forced herself to think about the question...really think about
it.

"I think maybe it's because Claude was the last man I slept
with before Clark," she said quietly. "After I woke up to find
Claude gone and my story stolen, I kind of shut down for a few
years...I deliberately dated men that I knew wouldn't last past
a few dates. Lex was my first actual relationship after Claude
and I didn't...well, I told him I wanted to wait then too."

"Interesting," Doctor Friskin said with a raised eye, and Lois
wasn't sure she liked the way she said it. "You told both Lex
Luthor and your current fiance you wanted to wait until after the
wedding?"

"Yes," Lois said, feeling somewhat defensive. After all, she
didn't like to think that Clark and Lex had anything in common
and yet she'd unintentionally done just that. "But not for the
same reasons."

"Oh?" Doctor Friskin waved an encouraging hand for Lois to
continue. Lois sighed. She hated going back to thinking about how
she'd almost married Lex Luthor, but Doctor Friskin seemed to
think it was important and she was the professional.

Lois cringed as she spoke her next words.

"With Lex, I knew I didn't love him...I liked him, respected
him...admired him even, but I didn't love him. And I thought I
was okay with that. I thought that was all I needed. Everything
in my life was so chaotic. I had lost the *Planet* and Clark was
drifting away. I thought if I married him, I could control the
other elements that were falling apart."

She snuck a glance at Doctor Friskin and was relieved to see the
other woman didn't look at her the way she felt she deserved.
After all, she'd just admitted to almost marrying one of the
wealthiest men in the world so that she could control the things
in her life that were out of control. Spoken out loud, it made
her sound like a gold digger. When Doctor Friskin said nothing,
Lois continued.

"When it came to the topic of sex, well...I asked him to wait
because I wanted to put it off. Like a chore you know you have to
get to eventually. I know that sounds awful, but..."

"It doesn't sound awful, Lois," Doctor Friskin interrupted
with a kind smile. "I know enough about Lex Luthor and about
what you're describing to know that he operated the way many
abusers do -- he isolated you from your friends and the people
you cared about in order to try to control you. It's perfectly
normal that you put conditions on your intimate life in order to
try to regain some of that control."

Lois blinked, stunned.

"I...I never thought of it that way," she admitted.

"You did what you could with the tools you had at the time in a
situation that was very traumatic. It is okay to forgive
yourself," Doctor Friskin reminded her and Lois suddenly found
herself feeling a lump rise in her throat. She hadn't realised
that she'd never forgiven herself for almost marrying a
murderer.

"What about Clark?" Doctor Friskin continued. "It sounds like
he's the first relationship since Claude where you've wanted to
become intimate. Am I correct?"

"Yes," Lois admitted. Doctor Friskin smiled.

"Then why ask him to wait?"

"It's like I said before," Lois said, realising that her
reasons might have gotten lost amidst her babbling earlier.
"I'm worried I won't be...what he's expecting. Clark
is...well he's very sweet, and he's loyal and the most
wonderful person I've ever met."

"And that scares you?" Doctor Friskin asked. "Why?"

"Because he doesn't know what he's getting himself into!"
Lois blurted out. "I mean I can be....difficult and quick to
anger and I'm stubborn and competitive and..."

"And these are all qualities he already knows you possess,
correct?"

Lois frowned. She was right, damn it. Doctor Friskin wrote
something else down on the pad.

"He does," she admitted. "But we've never lived together. And
he's looking forward to...well, he doesn't have the same
negative experiences with intimacy that I do, and I am worried
he's expecting too much. He might regret it after. And that
scares me to death."

"Because you're afraid he might leave like Claude and the
others?" Doctor Friskin asked. Lois hated the compassion in her
tone. She liked it better when her face was impassive. Seeing the
kindness in Doctor Friskin's eyes only made her want to break
down. She would not do that.

"No," she said quietly. "I know Clark would never leave.
That's the problem."

"I see," Doctor Friskin nodded, still writing. Lois finally
felt her patience give out. It was easier to get angry than it
was to deal with the heavy feeling in her chest.

"No, you don't see!" she exclaimed. "I have no idea what I'm
doing! I have no idea how to be in a healthy relationship, no
idea how to be a wife or a mother...I was never taught that!"

She stood up and began pacing while Doctor Friskin watched on,
still writing in her notepad.

"And what if we have kids?" she continued, her voice rising as
her emotions threatened to overwhelm her. She had no idea she'd
been this stressed out until now. "Or he wants a house? Or I
become unbearable to live with and our marriage turns into a mess
and it's all my fault?"

Lois looked back and gave a strangled laugh.

"He would stay...even if it became a living hell, he would
stay." She looked down at her shoes, and the air seemed to go
out of her. "At least when they left, I knew what to do."

"I see," Doctor Friskin said softly. "So you believe that once
you become physically intimate, that part of yourself that
you've been holding back will be vulnerable. And that if the
relationship doesn't work out, the pain will be prolonged by
Clark's loyalty and devotion to you?"

She nodded, not trusting herself to speak. Doctor Friskin seemed
to have this ability to explain complex issues in a way that Lois
had never considered before.

"I could destroy him," she admitted, her voice a scared rasp.

"Lois, these are all extremely normal fears for someone who has
had the experiences you've had," Doctor Friskin reassured her
and Lois sat back down. "And we can work through those fears one
by one. But I think the most important thing you need to keep
reminding yourself of is that you are not your parents. You are
not doomed to repeat the mistakes they made. The fact that you
are with a man like Clark helps to show you are breaking free of
unhealthy patterns."

"What do you mean?" she asked, her voice much more tentative
than she was used to hearing. She wasn't comfortable with this
feeling of insecurity and uncertainty.

"Well," Doctor Friskin said as she checked her notes, "in the
past, you've spoken about your parents and their relationship.
You've also told me about some of your past romantic
experiences, and I can see a clear pattern here."

Now, Lois really wanted to see the notepad, but she also wanted
to hear what Doctor Friskin had to say. She needed to know that
she and Clark were going to be okay. That she wasn't a ticking
time bomb set to go off the moment they made love for the first
time. Doctor Friskin continued speaking.

"Your father left you at a vulnerable point in your development,
and as a result, you often sought out relationships with men who
were either older than you, in positions of power, or both. Paul,
Claude, Lex...even Superman to an extent fits this pattern. But
Clark...Clark is your equal. You are partners, with neither one
of you holding power over the other. You complement each other
and you respect each other. That's why he scares you. He's
mature, emotionally available and ready to take the next step.
The only question is, are you?"

"So, what you're saying is that I have 'Daddy issues'?" Lois
said, making a joke that was intended to deflect from the
feelings coursing through her.

"Well, that's not the clinical term for it," Doctor Friskin
said softly. "You didn't answer my question. Are you ready to
take the next step?"

"I want to be," Lois said fervently. "When he looks at me the
way he does, it's all that I have not to just...give in. Should
I? Should I just go for it? Bite the bullet? Rip the bandaid off?
Jump in the....what are you writing on that pad?"

Doctor Friskin blinked at her momentary outburst and turned the
pad around to face Lois.

"Just some ideas for our next session -- ways that can help you
handle negative thoughts so that they don't overwhelm you or
sabotage your relationship." She chuckled. "And no, my
professional opinion is not that you need to ummm...jump in the
pool. In fact, I would say at this point that's the last thing
you want to do. You need to work through these fears. And doing
so is going to require honesty -- honesty with yourself and with
Clark. Have you tried talking to him about your feelings?"

"A little," she said and even that was stretching the truth.
The conversation they'd had inside the virtual reality
simulation had been the only real acknowledgment to him and to
herself that she was scared to move things forward. Even then,
she'd allowed him to reassure her, telling herself she was being
ridiculous. But now she realised looking at Doctor Friskin that
she wasn't.

"You need to talk to him," Doctor Friskin insisted. "If you
are going to enter into an intimate relationship, it is crucial
that you be able to talk about it with him before and after. The
first time might not always be wonderful. Sometimes it takes
time. Time to get to know the other person -- what they like,
what they don't like. You've never really had the chance to
learn that, it sounds like. Developing an honest narrative with
Clark from the beginning will allow you both to work on it
together. If you do that, I promise you that you will both be
satisfied."

"So is that my homework then?" Lois asked, feeling slightly
shaky at the idea of talking that openly to Clark about sex. As
best friends, she had always felt they could talk about anything,
and yet somehow this seemed overwhelmingly difficult. Doctor
Friskin stood up.

"That, and I want you to talk to Claude."

Lois looked at her in surprise.

"You want me to what?" she echoed.

"You said he was back in town, did you not?" Doctor Friskin
asked. Lois nodded. "Then I think you owe it to yourself to sit
down with him and have a conversation."

"And tell him what?" Lois said angrily. "That he hurt me? That
he destroyed my faith in men? That he is the reason why I can't
make love to my amazing fiance?"

"Tell him whatever you feel comfortable saying," Doctor Friskin
replied mildly. "Whether you confront him is up to you. For the
last few years he has occupied an elevated space in your mind and
in your emotions. He's just a man. The point of having a
conversation with him is to see him that way. Can you do that?"

"I suppose," Lois said, though she was reluctant to do so. She
knew Clark wouldn't be crazy about the idea either, though she
also knew he would never say or do anything to prevent it. She
thanked Doctor Friskin and headed out to her car.

As she drove back to the *Planet*, she ruminated on the
conversation with Doctor Friskin. Both things she'd been asked
to do required very real and very scary conversations. Lois
wasn't sure she was up to them yet. But she also knew that she
had to be and soon. Her relationship depended on it.

***

Chapter 7

Lois entered the bullpen and scanned the room, looking for Clark.
She spotted him eventually, sitting at her desk with Claude
having pulled up a chair next to him. He appeared equal parts
weary and irritated -- an expression usually reserved for those
times when Ralph would corner him at office parties to talk. She
suddenly felt bad for leaving him with Claude for this long. It
must have taken immense patience.

As she approached the two of them, the look of extreme relief on
Clark's face was hard to miss. She placed a gentle kiss on his
head as he stood up and gave her his chair. Claude shifted over,
and Clark grabbed another chair from a nearby empty desk.

"Everything okay?" he asked, when he sat down again. She could
see there was still a small part of him that worried about this
nonspecific doctor's appointment.

"Fine," she said brightly. And then, softer so only he could
hear her, "Thank you. I *will* make it up to you, I promise."

"Well, we've done some digging here," Claude piped up,
gesturing to some of the printouts on the desk in front of her.

"This our list of snipers?" Lois wondered. Clark nodded.

"We've already ruled out a few," Clark informed her. "The
rest we thought we would divide among the three of us."

"Good idea," she agreed. She gave him a meaningful look. "What
are we going to tell Perry?"

"Nothing yet," Clark said with a sigh. She could tell he
didn't like the idea of leaving Perry out of the loop. "I...we
figured it was best until we have something concrete. Given how
dangerous this is, the fewer people who know, the better."

"That's logical," Lois replied. She looked over at Claude and
gave Clark another look as if to say *'what do we do with
him?'*

"The trade talks begin tomorrow," Claude supplied as if reading
their minds. "I thought I would do some research for a piece on
the talks themselves. I can use it as an excuse to get into the
hotel and speak to anyone willing to talk to me and see if any of
the French conspirators are here. I heard voices, after all. I
might hear them again and be able to put a face to a name."

"It's a good plan," Clark said and she knew he was right. It
also meant Claude would be largely out of their hair, which was
also a bonus. Before Lois could reply, however, a familiar look
on Clark's face let Lois know that Superman's services were
required. She could also see that he was having trouble thinking
of a reason to leave -- he was never very good at that.

"Clark, don't you have to pick up that thing for me?" she
said, her own mind blanking at the last second. Okay, so neither
of them were that great at last-minute excuses. Funny,
considering all the practice they'd had.

"The thing! Right, the thing!" Clark jumped up and began making
quick strides towards the elevator. "For the wedding....I know
how much you wanted that thing. I'll be right back."

Lois watched as the elevator door almost shut on his tie and
heard the tell-tale whoosh of him taking off a couple moments
later.

Another few moments passed before Lois realised she'd been left
alone with Claude for the first time since his arrival in
Metropolis. Doctor Friskin's advice popped into her head, urging
her to use this opportunity to talk to him, but Lois for the life
of her had no idea what to say. The Claude in her head and the
man in front of her seemed to be two different people, and Lois
honestly wasn't sure which of them she wanted or needed to speak
to.

She was, however, acutely aware that Claude seemed to be giving
her a look that indicated he was gearing up to say something, and
Lois was almost certain that whatever it was, she didn't want to
hear it. She gave him a bright smile and handed him half the list
of the names of snipers.

"He shouldn't be too long," Lois told him. "We should use
this time to look into these guys. Separately. Away from each
other. Somewhere else."

"You know, Lois, I was hoping to get the chance to speak to you
privately," Claude said, his blue eyes serious. Lois inwardly
groaned. She didn't want to do this right now. Not out of any
lingering feelings for Claude, but because her own fears and
reservations about taking the next step with Clark were so near
the surface. She didn't want to conflate the two.

"I sensed that," Lois acknowledged, hoping her voice sounded as
neutral as possible, "but I really don't have anything I want
to say to you. And there is nothing you could say that would be
of any interest to me, so can we just leave the past where it
belongs? In the past?"

"I..." Claude blinked, clearly surprised by her words. He'd
obviously been expecting a different response. "Yes, of course.
If that's how you feel."

"It is," Lois said abruptly, not wanting to encourage the line
of conversation any further. She saw him nod and stand up, list
in hand.

"I will of course respect your wishes," he promised. "But if
you change your mind, I am here. In the meantime, I'm going to
start making some calls and see if we can cross some people off
the list."

Lois nodded, feeling relieved that she hadn't had to convince
him further to leave things be. She knew she would eventually
have to discuss what happened between them so many years ago, but
when that happened she wanted it to be on her terms, when she
knew what she wanted to say to him.

She watched as he retreated to Clark's desk, and she marvelled
at the feeling of utter disconnect she had as she watched him.
Looking at him, it was hard to believe they had ever been
intimate. And yet the memories of that night they had spent
together were as real and as vivid as ever. As were the feelings
of hurt and betrayal.

She shook her head and forced herself back to work, telling
herself that when it was time to deal with those feelings and the
man responsible for them, she would be more prepared.

She picked up the phone and began making calls to try and
discover the current whereabouts of the men on the list in front
of her. After about half an hour, she'd managed to cross quite a
few names off the list as a result of the men in question being
deceased, elderly or incarcerated. She was about to give up and
take a break for lunch when she decided to investigate one more
name -- a man named Preston Mills.

Lois thought the name sounded vaguely familiar but couldn't
place it. His last known whereabouts was the Metropolis Maximum
Security Penitentiary, so she dialled the number for the prison,
feeling that it should be easy enough to cross that name off the
list given the fact that inmates of that prison tended to be
there for life.

When she was put through to the warden -- a man named Mev
Thompson, she introduced herself and explained her reason for
calling.

"I'm doing a follow-up story on a man named Preston Mills. Do
you have an inmate by that name?"

She phrased it in such a way that allowed Warden Thompson to
offer her the information she needed rather than requesting it
directly.

"We uh...used to," Warden Thompson said, sounding distinctly
uncomfortable. "He was here up until very recently. Apparently,
some evidence of his trial came to light that rendered the
verdict invalid. He's been released with a full pardon."

"He *what?*" Lois exclaimed far louder than she'd realised,
for several people around her turned to look at her. "I thought
he was serving three consecutive life sentences."

"He, uh...he was," Warden Thompson replied, and she could
almost hear him sweating on the other end. "Believe me, I
wasn't happy about it, but the decision was made by the higher
courts. He must have friends in high places. Given who was in the
cell next to him, Ms. Lane, it hardly surprised me. Well, I'm
sure you understand, given what happened and all."

"What do you mean?" Lois asked, feeling a cold chill settle in
the pit of her stomach. Before the warden even responded, she
knew what he was going to say. She knew who else was in that
prison serving consecutive life sentences. After all, she'd put
him there.

"His cell was right next to Lex Luthor's," Warden Thompson
told her. "They became quite close. Believe me, if there was
anything I could have done..."

"I understand," Lois said, though her voice sounded hollow to
her ears. "Thank you for your time."

She hung up the phone, just as Clark came back into the newsroom.
The look on her face must have told him that she was upset
because he was next to her in a heartbeat, his hand on her
shoulder.

"What is it?"

"I think I've found our sniper," Lois said, her voice shaky.
"A man named Preston Mills. He was released recently after his
conviction was overturned due to faulty evidence."

"What makes you so sure he's our guy?" Clark wondered, though
she could tell by the tone of voice he believed her. He was
waiting for her to tell him what was wrong. She took a deep
breath.

"His cell was next to Lex's," she replied. "They knew each
other, which means..."

"Somehow, Lex is behind this," Clark finished for her, his
voice hard.

***

Chapter 8 

"I'm going to get some lunch," Claude offered, seeing the
joint expressions on Lois and Clark's faces. "Does anybody want
anything?" Five minutes ago, she'd been thinking of getting
lunch herself. Now, the very thought of food made her nauseous.
She shook her head, as did Clark and watched as Claude headed
towards the elevator. She wasn't sure if he was eager to excuse
himself because he knew details of Lois' disastrous
almost-marriage (it had made international news, after all) or
because he could simply read the room and knew his presence was
not wanted. Either way, she was glad he left.

As soon as he was gone, she stood up and found herself pacing
quickly back and forth, trying to slow down the onslaught of
emotions and feelings that raced through her.

"I can't believe this," Lois said, her voice louder and more
distressed than she intended. She could tell that she was drawing
the attention of others in the newsroom, but couldn't bring
herself to care. Clark sat on her desk watching her pace with a
somewhat helpless expression on his face. "Was there an ad in
the classifieds? A billboard on the highway? A sign from the
Universe saying 'Lois is getting married soon, let's bring back
not one but two ex-boyfriends?' And not just exes...exes I could
handle, but one is a full blown psychopath! Boy, do I sure know
how to pick 'em! Clark, are you sure you don't secretly have a
cellar full of dead bodies buried under your parents' farmhouse
back in Kansas?"

Clark jumped up and interrupted her mid-pace, to gather her into
his arms, kissing her gently. She melted into the kiss almost
instantly, the feel of his lips and steady reassuring thump of
his heart calming her. When she pulled back she gave him a shaky
smile.

"Lois, it's okay, we will figure this out," he promised her
softly. "He's still behind bars. We have time."

"I know," she admitted, "it just seems like everywhere I turn
lately, I'm reminded of times when I trusted people only to have
them turn out to be the complete opposite of who I thought they
were."

Clark looked down and fidgeted slightly with this tie. When he
spoke, his voice was soft and regretful.

"I'm sorry. I suppose I'm guilty of this too...being the
opposite of who you thought I was, I mean."

"I didn't mean you, Clark," Lois replied gently. "You never
lied to hurt me. You lied to protect the people you care about.
It's just...nothing seems simple anymore, and sometimes I have
no idea who to trust."

"Well, you can trust me," Clark said firmly, and she could see
the truth in his eyes. "I promise you. No bodies in the cellar.
That's where my mom keeps all her art supplies, so they'd never
fit anyway."

She gave a soft laugh, and leaned her head against his chest.

"I'm sorry, I'm just...upset," she admitted. He cupped her
face with the palm of his hand and kissed her forehead gently.

"I know," he replied, "and you have every right to be. This is
a lot, even for us. First Claude and now..."

She noticed that he couldn't seem to even say Lex's name which
made her feel a little better. The usually unflappable Clark Kent
was well and truly, well...flapped.

"I just wasn't expecting this," she said as she sank down into
her chair. "Prison is supposed to mean they're gone...not able
to hurt you...safe."

"Out of sight, out of mind?" he said wryly, sitting down next
to her and taking her hand in his. "Doesn't always work that
way, does it?"

"No," she agreed, exhaling slowly. "It doesn't. But I wish it
did."

They were both quiet for a few moments, as Lois processed all the
information. Eventually, she sat up and squared her shoulders,
trying to force herself to focus on the task at hand.

"Well, now that we know he's behind this, we at least have a
better idea of figuring out what this is," she told him, feeling
suddenly extremely tired. It wasn't even noon yet, and somehow
it felt like her session with Doctor Friskin had occurred a week
ago. She looked up at Clark and smiled as a way of reassuring him
that the moment of insecurity had passed and that Lois Lane was
back behind the wheel.

"What do you suggest?" he asked. A sea of possibilities raced
through her mind, but only one clear choice jumped out at her.
Still, she knew just by looking at Clark that he wasn't going to
like it.

"He'll talk to me if I go down there," she said, and before
Clark could interrupt, rushed ahead with her reasoning. "After
all, his obsession with me put him there. I doubt he's let go of
the delusion that I might one day change my mind, so if I could
just get him to think that I..."

"Lois, you can't be serious!" Clark exclaimed, looking at her
as if she'd just announced she was going to move to Maine to
open a taxidermy studio and candy store. "The man is psychotic
and obsessed with you!"

"And locked up," she argued back, refusing to allow herself to
respond to Clark's obvious distress. "He can't hurt me. And
seeing me might throw him off kilter. He could get sloppy...make
a mistake."

"Or, seeing you is exactly what he wants," Clark shot back, his
eyes hardening ever so slightly. Lois could tell that he would
not agree to this easily. Well and truly flapped, indeed. "Think
of it, Lois! He's a genius. He had to have known we would figure
out the connection between Mills and himself. He'd be counting
on it! He's probably waiting for you right now."

"So what if he is?" Lois retorted, finding herself getting
irritated after all, despite her resolve not to. "What can he do
to me, Clark? How can he hurt me?"

"I don't know," Clark replied, frustration lacing every word.
"I just know that I don't want you anywhere near him."

Lois was about to respond when she noticed Claude approaching
quietly in the background with two large takeout bags from the
deli down the street in hand. He got to the desk, the tension so
thick she could cut it with a knife. She looked right past Claude
to Clark, her anger simmering below the surface.

"I, uh, got you both some sandwiches, anyway," Claude said,
pulling them out of the bags. Lois could see that Clark had not
budged an inch despite Claude's mis-timed entrance, and her
anger only grew.

Fiance or not, he had no right to tell her what to do. It made
sense to talk to Luthor. Clark's emotions were clouding his
judgement right now, and he couldn't see it. He had no right to
demand she stay away, and yet she couldn't say those things in
front of Claude. She would not let the man who destroyed her
faith in relationships see the cracks that were suddenly forming
in hers.

She took out a sandwich and unwrapped it quietly, trying to think
of the best way to respond that didn't look as if she was
backing down.

"I think we should do some more research on Preston Mills," she
said finally. "And it's probably time to bring Perry into the
loop. We have a name. He might have contacts that can tell us
more about this guy."

"Fine," Clark said, his jaw rigid. Lois nodded curtly and
turned her attention back to her computer. Clark waited a moment,
then stood up. "I'll go speak to Perry. You dig up what you
can. Please don't go anywhere."

He was halfway across the newsroom before she could respond, and
she felt the tension drain from her as soon as he was out of
earshot.

"I'm sorry," Claude said, and she could tell he'd heard most
of the argument. "For what it's worth, I think he's just
worried about you."

She was about to tell him to mind his business, that he knew
nothing about her, but something in the nature of his tone of
voice told her that he genuinely only was trying to help. The
impulse passed and Lois touched a tired hand to her forehead. She
hadn't been prepared for Clark to be so stubborn, nor had she
been prepared for Claude to exhibit genuine concern. Both made
her incredibly weary.

"Lex Luthor might be involved," she said, running her hand
through her hair. "Neither one of us thinks straight where he's
concerned, considering..."

"I know," Claude replied and she saw a flash of the charming
and warm man she'd once thought him to be all those years ago.
She was too tired to try to figure out whether it was genuine or
a ruse. She simply gave him a small smile.

"Thank you," she told him. "I should, uh..."

"Yes, yes, of course," he said, jumping up as well. "I think I
might go down to the hotel and see if I can get a representative
to speak with me about the talks. I will see you both
tomorrow?"

"Yes, tomorrow," Lois agreed as he stood up and straightened
his suit jacket.

"Look, I know you said you didn't want to talk, and I meant it
when I said I would mind my business but if you change your mind
at all, I'll be here," he said before turning to head back
towards the elevator.

Lois focused the rest of her efforts that day on digging up as
much as she could with regard to Preston Mills as a way of
distracting herself from the golf ball of anxiety that had taken
up residence in her chest. Clark made a few attempts to talk to
her, but she either gave him short responses or redirected the
conversation back to work. Eventually, he seemed to give up and
did the same.

By the end of the day, she found herself standing up to get her
coat and noticed that Clark had made his way back to her side. He
looked apologetic which helped the anxiety lessen a little bit.

"I'm sorry," he said softly. "Hearing Lex Luthor's name
always throws me for a bit of a loop. I handled that badly."

"Thank you," she replied, giving herself permission to let go
of her anger for the moment. He didn't bring up Lex again and
neither did she. She didn't want to get into another argument
and she was certain that if they tried to talk about it again it
would only result in Clark doubling down on not wanting her to go
anywhere near the prison. She could tell even now he hoped for
her to reassure him that she wouldn't, and she wanted to, she
really did.

But part of her knew that it was a promise she couldn't keep. So
they both pretended his apology was enough as they got ready to
head home.

They got into the elevator and she was surprised when he took her
hand and pulled her close, kissing both her cheeks softly.

"Do you..." he hesitated and Lois knew what he was about to say
before he said it. "Do you want to come home with me? I can make
you dinner and we can pretend today never happened."

"I want to," she said, and she hoped he could hear the
sincerity in her voice. The way his face dropped told her that he
either hadn't, or it wasn't enough to fight off the
disappointment he was obviously feeling. This was the second
night in a row she'd told him she wanted to be alone since
Claude's arrival. And now with Lex...well, Lois only felt as if
she were proving to herself just how truly bad at relationships
she was.

"But you want to be alone," Clark finished for her, his voice
heavy.

"It's nothing you've done wrong, Clark, I promise," Lois
insisted. "I just need some space. Yesterday, I only had Claude
to deal with and now Lex..."

The elevator dinged and the two stepped out into the parking
garage. Lois fished for her keys, trying to ignore the look on
Clark's face as she reached her Jeep.

"You seem to be pretty okay with Claude being around," he
observed mildly though she could hear the insecurity in his
voice.

"That's not fair," she said, her voice shaky with hurt. "I
just need some space. I need you to understand that it has
nothing to do with you."

"I'm sorry," he said finally, and he gathered her into his
arms. He held her tightly for a moment, and though she wanted to,
she couldn't find it in her to fully return the hug. Instead,
after a moment of awkwardness, she shrugged herself out of his
arms and stepped back, feeling even more on edge. She got into
her Jeep, putting the key in the ignition as Clark placed his
hand gently on the driver's side door. She'd been about to turn
the key when something in his eyes stilled her hand.

"It's just..." he trailed off and ran a hand nervously through
his hair as if he wasn't sure he should say his next sentence.
Her heart plummeted. "In two months, we're going to be married.
You won't always have an extra apartment to go to everytime you
need space."

Her throat felt tight and she looked away, not wanting him to see
that she was near tears. Somehow, without meaning to, he'd
managed to hit every insecurity and raw nerve with one sentence.
She took a deep breath and turned back towards him.

"I love you," she said quietly as she turned the key and the
Jeep came to life. "I'll talk to you tomorrow."

***

Chapter 9 

Lois was shaking as she drove home. She had no idea if it was
from anger, or from the fact that deep down inside she feared
that Clark might be right. Either way, she hadn't liked hearing
it pointed out to her so plainly -- not by him. It meant that he
was starting to see the thing she feared the most.

She was bad at relationships. She'd desperately hoped that
wouldn't be the case -- that because all the other men she'd
been with had been liars or worse, that Clark would be the
exception. That through sheer force of will and the fact that she
loved him, she could stop the cycle of self-sabotage she'd
created for herself and others around her. After all, this time
she'd picked someone good. Someone who wasn't going to leave
her or steal from her or worse, try to control the free world
like some sort of megalomaniacal Bond villain.

She'd picked Clark. A man who was literally a symbol for truth,
honesty and goodness. If she couldn't make it work with him,
then something inside her was fundamentally broken.

And if that were true, what did that mean? Was she destined to
repeat the mistakes of her parents? Doctor Friskin didn't think
so. She seemed to think that if Lois simply communicated her
fears to Clark they could work things out. And oh, she wanted to
believe she was right. After all, therapy and healthy
communication were tools she'd never seen her parents use. Maybe
their relationship hadn't needed to go the way it did.

But then...Lois had the opportunity to communicate with him
tonight. She could have gone back to his place and talked to him
-- *really* talked to him about what was bothering her. But
instead, she'd asked for space, which was really just code for
wanting to run away.

One argument, it seemed, had been all it had taken for Lois to
want to retreat. And she didn't know what that meant, but she
was certain it wasn't good.

She arrived home and made her way up the steps to her door. Her
hands trembled as she placed the key in the lock and went inside.
She dropped her things by the door, locked it for good measure
and made her way into the living room, sitting down on her couch
and putting her head in her hands. She wanted to cry but for some
reason the tears wouldn't come.

She felt more drained than she ever had in her life.

Her conversation with Clark replayed in her head on a loop along
with his vehement reaction to Lois wanting to visit Lex Luthor in
prison.

It wasn't as if she wanted to see him. Far from it. The idea of
looking that monster in the eye and remembering that she'd
almost married him almost made her physically ill. She'd never
been a poorer judge of character than she had been with Lex, and
it still haunted her to this day.

And yet, she also knew that Lex, in his own twisted way, *had*
loved her. It was that sick obsession that she knew could be her
way in -- her way of taking back some of the power that Lex had
stolen from her. If she could use him the way he'd used her, she
could find out exactly what he was planning and stop him.

She knew it in her bones, and yet when she'd brought it up,
Clark had all but forbidden her to go. She'd baulked at that of
course and they had fought. And honestly, she wasn't sure who
was at fault. She just knew this was something she had to do.

And yet she couldn't forget the look of fear in Clark's eyes
when she had suggested going, nor the plea in his voice when
he'd told her not to. She knew his response was coming from a
place of love, misguided as it was.

She also knew she couldn't enter into a marriage in which
anybody told her what she could and couldn't do. Not even
Clark.

So where did that leave her?

Alone, for one. Heartsick and so very, very tired. And also,
determined to go to the prison in the morning.

The worst part of it was, she wasn't sure if this was yet
another method of self-sabotage or if it was the right thing to
do. She only knew that there was a threat against the President
of the United States, that she was an investigative reporter and
that it was her job to pursue all angles, and that Lex Luthor was
the key.

She took a deep breath and stood up. Her stomach growled at her
and she realised that she hadn't eaten much that day. She
couldn't even remember if she'd eaten the sandwich that Claude
had delivered.

Claude. There was another fly in the ointment of her life. Where
he fit in, she wasn't sure anymore. He'd attempted to be kind
to her today. She didn't know if he'd meant it or if he was
simply playing another angle. She couldn't be sure, and frankly
given her track history, her own judgement where men were
concerned -- Clark notwithstanding -- was pretty awful. Either
way, she couldn't worry about his intentions right now.

She placed a call to the pizza place down the road and sat down
to wait. As her food arrived, it occurred to her that between
Claude and Lex, only Lex's feelings had been genuine. That
thought only made her feel worse. That a psychopath could find it
in his heart to love her, but Claude hadn't, brought the hurt
back all over again.

How had she managed to find Clark? How had she managed to keep
Clark? What would happen to their relationship tomorrow when she
went to the prison?

She sighed. Normally, she would share these thoughts and fears
with Clark. It surprised her just how close she'd gotten to him
-- how vulnerable she had allowed herself to be with him. And how
much it would hurt if she lost him.

She found her way to the couch and flicked through the channels
absentmindedly while she ate slices of a pizza that she didn't
remember tasting. She wanted to call Clark. Desperately. But she
knew she couldn't do that.

He would ask her to promise him that she wouldn't go to the
prison tomorrow. And the one thing she didn't want to do was lie
to him. It was better that he didn't know. Once she got the
information they needed, she hoped to be able to use it in order
to smooth things over with Clark. Whether it would work was
anyone's guess, but at this point she was operating under the
'it's better to ask forgiveness than permission' mindset.

She'd never been good at asking permission.

Eventually, she found herself glancing up at the window,
surprised to see the sun had set and it was now dark. Looking at
the clock confirmed that it was indeed very late. Her whole body
suddenly ached with weariness, both from the day and from what
tomorrow would inevitably bring.

A visit to Lex Luthor and a confrontation with Clark. Mix in a
little Claude and poof. Recipe for a terrible day.

She padded into her bedroom and climbed into bed, pulling the
covers over her and wondering what it would be like to go to bed
like this with Clark every night -- his arms holding her tightly
and his kisses banishing all her fears.

Or would it be like her parents -- nightly fights with one of
them routinely banished to the couch? Lois wanted to believe the
former, but she feared the latter.

One thing she was sure of, though, was that she wanted him with
her tonight. She wanted him to remind her that she was loved and
wanted and that she was worth loving. She knew he would be here
in ten seconds if she called.

She fell asleep with that thought in her mind, both reassuring
and frightening in equal measure.

***

Lois arrived at the prison the following day feeling equally
determined and terrified. She had called and left a message with
Jimmy as to her whereabouts, which would obviously get back to
Clark and Claude eventually. Doing so felt somewhat cowardly, but
it had been necessary if she wanted to avoid the argument and/or
appearance of Superman that would inevitably follow.

Sometimes it was a pain in the butt having a fiance that could
literally get to your location within seconds.

She entered the prison and showed them her press pass. She tried
not to notice the raised eyebrow that followed when she announced
that she was there to interview Lex Luthor for a story she was
writing. It was no secret what had happened, after all, so she
was grateful at least that nothing was said.

She was led into the prison and handed a visitor's pass. A list
of rules followed with regards to what she could or couldn't do
when speaking with Lex. She was mildly shocked to find out that
she hadn't needed to use her press pass at all to get in --
he'd apparently put her down on his list of approved visitors.
The thought made her nauseous.

The guard eventually stopped in front of a door and told her that
Lex had already been moved into the room inside. She'd be
allowed to speak with him alone, as long as he was chained to the
table. She felt both reassured and terrified at the prospect of
facing him even with a guard right outside the door.

"Whenever you're ready, Ms. Lane," the guard said with a
gesture towards the door. "A tap on the door will let me know
when you're finished."

She nodded, took a deep breath and entered the room.

The man that sat in front of her came as a bit of a shock. Oh,
she'd seen him once following his resurrection. He'd lost his
hair because of the regeneration process and had looked very much
a shabby version of his formerly wealthy and polished self. So
much so that part of her had felt sorry for him. That pity had
been short lived when he'd attempted to take her hostage and run
away with her in order to rebuild his lost empire. He'd been
delusional enough to hope that she would eventually fall in love
with him, if he kept her captive long enough. It took a
double-cross by his personal assistant Nigel, and Superman for
him to finally end up in jail.

Now, despite the fact that his hair had grown back, he somehow
seemed smaller. The orange jumpsuit and prison number where a
three-piece designer suit would normally be somehow diminished
him in a way that made her feel safer.

He was just a man.

She allowed her nerves to settle and sat down opposite him. He
smiled and something in that twisted smile brought the nerves
back tenfold.

"Hello, Lois," he said softly. "I'm so glad you came to see
me."

"This isn't a social visit, Lex," she said coldly. "I'm here
for information."

"Yes, I know," he replied, that silky smoothness never leaving
his voice despite his circumstances. "I've been expecting
you."

And it made sense. She hadn't thought anything of it a few
moments ago, but the fact that he'd been moved here before she
reached the room suggested he'd known she was coming. She felt
nauseous again as she realised Clark might have been right after
all.

She fervently wished he was sitting here next to her, helping her
get the information she needed. She was suddenly not sure she was
emotionally capable of thinking straight and worried she would
make a mistake somehow.

*Nonsense,* she told herself. *He's in here, you're out there.
He can't hurt you. He's in chains. Ask your questions. Be
methodical. You're Lois Lane.*

Her pep talk worked and she forced herself to look at Lex with
renewed detachment.

"How could you be expecting me?" she asked, forcing her voice
to sound as neutral as possible.

"Oh, come now, don't play stupid," Lex said, the glint in his
eyes reminding her what he was fully capable of. She suppressed a
shiver. "It doesn't suit you. You're here because you believe
there will be an attempt to assassinate the President of the
United States. You've discovered that the gentleman who used to
reside in the cell next to me is an accomplished sniper, and you
believe I had something to do with his release and thus the
threat against the President."

*Okay then,* she thought to herself. *Cards on the table. Fine.*

"*Are* you behind it?" she asked, allowing a hint of detached
curiosity to seep through. She knew that Lex had an ego the size
of Canada, and if she could get him thinking she might be
impressed, he could let something slip. As it was, she was still
mildly unnerved that he seemed totally in control of the
conversation despite being the one in prison.

He sat back and smiled a little wider. He was enjoying this. Lois
wasn't a violent person by nature, but she suddenly felt an
overwhelming urge to punch him in the face. After everything
he'd put her through, for him to sit there, smiling as if this
was some sort of game...

*It is a game,* she reminded herself, *and he wins if you play
it. Stay calm, and don't play.*

She squared her shoulders and met his smug expression head on.

"You didn't answer my question. Are you behind this?"

"Now how on Earth could I be behind it?" he asked innocently.
"After all, I'm in prison."

Lois suddenly understood the rules of the game. He was giving her
clues -- daring her to work it out. He knew how much she loved a
challenge which meant...

She suppressed another shudder as she realised that this was a
form of intimacy for him, like some kind of twisted foreplay --
and she had to participate if she wanted her answers. She almost
stood up to leave right then and there. To be a part of it, felt
like a betrayal to Clark, especially since he hadn't wanted her
to come in the first place. And yet, she wasn't the one whose
life was at stake. Swallowing the bile that threatened to rise in
the back of her throat, she plastered a smile on her face and
softened her tone.

"Preston Mills' conviction was overturned by a higher court,"
she said, "and I know you once had at least a few judges in your
pocket. You could have orchestrated his release."

"And why would I do that?" he asked, his smile growing wider
and his voice deepening the way it used to do in intimate moments
when they were dating. "If I had those sorts of connections, why
not get myself out of prison instead?"

"Because you clearly need him," Lois said and she knew she was
grasping at straws now. She had no idea why Lex would go to such
lengths to get a sniper released but not himself. But it all came
back to the President. For some reason, he cared more about the
President's death than he did about his own freedom.

Unless...a horrible thought occurred to her.

"How long have you been planning this?" she asked, a slight
tremor of fear sneaking into her voice, unbidden and unwanted.
"Have you always been able to...get out if you wanted to?"

"You mean my connections?" he wondered, a hint of pride in his
voice. She'd figured out at least part of it, and he wasn't the
least bit worried. On the contrary. It only made her more
frightened, and she forced her hands not to shake. "The fact
that I could have just as easily gotten that same judge to
overturn my own conviction?"

"Then why didn't you?" she countered, unable to keep the anger
out of her voice. He was winning this game, damn it. She never
should have come. "Why sit in this prison cell for so long if
you could so easily get out?"

"Because," he replied, sitting forward now. His eyes narrowed
and his voice hardened, and there was no mistaking the threat in
it now. "I get my conviction overturned and you, your irritating
Mr. Kent, and the blue menace in spandex would work tirelessly to
find a way to put me back here. And one day, I might run out of
judges. My power is limited, I'm not ashamed to admit that. But
I also know that when I do walk out of here, it will be with the
full knowledge that nothing and nobody can send me back."

"How can you possibly be sure of that?" she asked, her mouth
dry. The look in his eyes was pure madness, and she couldn't
shake the terror that had settled inside her. She'd almost
married him.

"You have the information you need, Lois," he told her softly.
"I think this interview is over. Please let the guard know I am
ready to return to my cell."

He waved a hand as if to dismiss her and Lois felt a surge of
rage overtake her. This entire interview had been on his terms
and now he was telling her to leave? She might not be able to
punch him, but she sure as hell wasn't about to go quietly.

She leaned forward so that their faces were inches from each
other and grabbed his collar. His eyes widened in surprise. He
hadn't been expecting this. Good.

"You like to be in control, Lex," she said calmly. "But there
are some things even you can't control. And I know what this is
all about."

"Oh?" He sounded confident but there was a short flicker in his
eyes that told her she'd gotten under his skin.

"You're still under the delusion that someday I might have
feelings for you. That I might love you. You think that you need
to rebuild your empire and then you'll win me back."

"It's possible," Lex said, his voice finally wavering. "After
all, you loved me once."

"No, I didn't," she said flatly. "I never loved you. I
couldn't love you. You had me fooled into thinking you were a
good person for a while, but even then I didn't love you. But
you know who I do love? Clark. And there is nothing that you can
do that will ever change that. Even if you get out of here, even
if all your plans succeed, the one thing you can't control is
me. And until the day I die, I will always see you as a vile,
pathetic, cowardly little worm."

She let go of his collar and stood up. Lex looked shaken for a
moment, then pulled himself back together, the mask slipping into
place like a familiar piece of clothing.

"I'll get the guard now," she said softly. "Thanks for the
information."

***

Chapter 10

Lois exited the prison trembling and shaken. She'd only managed
to get ten feet from it before she heard a familiar whoosh behind
her. She turned to see Clark, still in the suit as he ducked into
an alleyway and exited it dressed in his work clothes. He took
several large steps towards her, his expression unreadable but
intense.

Before she had a chance to say anything, he grasped her
shoulders, his voice laced with fear.

"Are you okay? What happened?"

Surprised by his arrival, and still heavily affected by what had
happened in the prison, she shifted away from him and took a step
back. She hadn't meant to, but the anger at having been duped by
Lex Luthor, coupled with the fact that he'd all but begged her
not to go there in the first place, was all sorts of confusing.

She didn't know who she was angrier with -- herself for allowing
Lex to make her feel vulnerable, Clark for being right about him,
or Lex for still having the ability to terrify her. It was
perhaps a combination of all three, but looking into Clark's
worried brown eyes, she could feel herself unable to stop the
tidal wave that she was about to unleash on him despite the fact
that she knew it wasn't fair.

"I'm fine," she snapped. "I didn't need a rescue. You
shouldn't be here."

"Neither should you!" he shot back, and she could see he was
trying to control his emotions, which for some reason only made
her angrier. He *should* be mad at her! He had every right to be
mad at her! He'd told her not to come here. "But since you are,
I thought you might want some back up from your partner."

"Oh come off it, Clark," she retorted, wanting to get a rise
out of him for reasons she didn't fully understand. "You wanted
to say I told you so. You wanted to..."

"What?" he interrupted, and the expression on his face -- a
mixture of anger and terror -- froze her in her tracks. "See you
get hurt? Is that what you think?"

"I was perfectly safe in there," she responded, choosing to
ignore the look in his eyes. She turned instead and began to walk
quickly towards the parking lot, knowing she couldn't walk
faster than him but determined to make a show of it anyway.

"There are other ways he can hurt you, Lois, and we both know
it," he said slowly. She swallowed and refused to look at him.
If she did she might fall apart and she didn't want to fall
apart. If she fell apart, it would mean Lex Luthor had won. She
wouldn't let him win.

"Yeah, well I'm not that fragile and I would appreciate it if
you would stop treating me like I'm made of glass."

"And I would appreciate it if you would actually treat me like
your partner and take my concerns seriously," he replied and the
hurt in his voice felt like a knife to her own heart. "I would
have backed you up in there, even if I didn't want you going.
We're supposed to be a team. I mean we're talking about you
going all by yourself to see..."

She rounded on him, unable to handle the fact that she'd managed
to hurt him this way on top of everything else.

"What, Clark? My ex-fiance? A mass murderer? What bothers you
more?"

"That's not fair," he said and she knew she'd gone too far
but couldn't seem to rein herself in. It was like someone else
had taken control of her body and was doing their best to lash
out at the one person who was supposed to be there for her at all
costs. The sane part of her sat helpless and trapped, unable to
stop it.

They reached her Jeep and Lois got inside, unable to look at
Clark for fear of what she might say next. She had no idea why
she felt this determined to be hurtful. Was she testing him?
Pushing him just to see how much he would take before walking
away? She didn't like the thought.

Clark opened the door of the passenger side and got in. Lois
still couldn't look at him but she knew he was looking at her,
and the feeling caused a lump to form in her throat, though she
knew she wouldn't cry in front of him. Not right now.

They drove to the *Planet* in silence, Lois keeping her eyes
firmly on the road and pretending to listen to the radio, which
was stuck on some oldies station. She could almost feel Clark's
desire to reach out to her and she silently begged him not to.
She needed her anger right now. She needed it to prevent herself
from collapsing entirely. She needed it to stay strong.

As they pulled into the parking lot of the *Planet,* Clark spoke,
his voice sad and resigned.

"Are you going to tell me what you learned?" he asked
tentatively. "I'm assuming he told you something."

"Nothing useful," she muttered, though somehow deep inside she
knew that wasn't true. Lex had controlled the conversation, that
was true, but somehow she knew that if she thought about it
rationally, she'd be able to figure out where he'd slipped up.
Rational thinking where Lex was concerned, however, would require
help from her partner and she wasn't ready to ask for that yet.
She wasn't sure she would ever be ready for that.

They lapsed back into silence as they rode the elevator up, and
Lois could feel keenly the absence of his touch. She suddenly
realised that apart from when he'd grabbed her outside the jail,
he hadn't touched her once.

Once inside the bullpen, Lois was able to school her expression
into one of businesslike indifference. Clark, however, did not
have the same talent at hiding his feelings. She felt a strong
urge to protect him especially since Claude had likely noticed
his upset. He sat waiting for them at her desk.

"Did you discover anything while speaking to Mr. Luthor?"

Lois shook her head, making a show of tidying some papers at her
desk. When she was alone and had some time to think she would go
over the conversation with Lex in her head again. Something he'd
said *had* been helpful even if he didn't know it, she just
couldn't figure out what it was. Especially with Clark and
Claude in the same room in front of her. She felt like she was
stuck in some kind of bizarre twisted parody of *A Christmas
Carol* with the ghosts of her relationships past, present and
future all in one day.

"Perry knows what's going on," Clark supplied. "He thinks we
should loop in the police. I managed to talk him out of that, but
I think that maybe we should talk to someone. I don't want to go
to the President with this just yet until we know something more
definitive."

"Is there anyone in the police force you trust?" Claude asked.
Lois thought for a moment, then she and Clark looked at one
another at the same time. Clearly, they were still in sync as far
as work was concerned.

"I'll speak to Inspector Henderson today," he agreed with a
nod. "I'll make sure he knows only to involve those he feels
can be trusted. With Luthor involved, we have to assume anybody
can be corrupted."

Lois winced at his words, though she was certain that it hadn't
been an intentional dig. Anyone can be corrupted indeed. *Focus,*
she reminded herself. Then, looking at Claude, something dawned
on her.

"Why France?" she wondered. He looked a bit surprised and she
suddenly felt a whole new suspicion overtake her. Claude was the
one who came here with news there was a plan to assassinate the
President. What if he was somehow working with Luthor? It seemed
awfully odd that high levels of the French government had an
interest in seeing the President gone.

"I beg your pardon?" Claude's confusion looked genuine but
Lois no longer trusted her ability to read people. Lex had that
effect on her.

"Why did he choose to bring the French government in on his
plans?" she pointed out. "The assassin is from the United
States."

"Well the trade talks are the perfect opportunity to..."

"But he could have organised that without your government
knowing," Clark interrupted, and Lois could tell he was thinking
along the same lines. "So what does your government stand to
gain?"

"I'm afraid I don't know," Claude admitted. "I don't know
Mr. Luthor as well as...well, perhaps you could help me discover
that, Lois."

Clark frowned and took a step forward shaking his head. She could
tell he was about to object and normally she would agree with
him, but suddenly the thought of spending time with Claude
wasn't all that horrible. After all, if Claude did have
something to do with whatever this was, she was the best person
to sniff it out. She would need to gain his trust in order to do
that. And for that to happen, she needed Clark out of the way.

"That sounds like a great idea," she said hastily before Clark
could speak. He gave her a surprised look, then saw his
expression turn to sadness, which he tried to cover up quickly.
"Clark, you liaise with Inspector Henderson. Let him know
everything we do, including Luthor's involvement, such as it is.
Claude and I will look into a potential connection between Lex
and the French government."

"I don't think this is such a good..."

"Did he ever mention any business ties with France?" Claude
asked her, already in the swing of things. Lois tried to
remember.

"It's been a while," she admitted. "I know he
mentioned...honeymooning in Paris, but that could have just been
him trying to be...romantic."

She could see Clark flinch at her words and then begin to gather
his things to leave. She felt terrible but she knew this was the
best way to make Claude think that she believed him completely.
Still, as he grabbed his coat and began to leave, Lois stood up
and chased after him.

"Clark, wait..." she said, touching him gently on the arm. He
turned and she was shocked at the anger she now saw in his eyes.
It was the same anger she'd been trying to provoke in him
outside the jail. *Oh, God, what have I done?* 

"It's okay," he said, though the coldness in his voice told
her it was anything but. "Go back to Claude. There's work to
do."

"But Clark, I..."

"Lois, please," he said, and her heart broke just a little bit.
"I...I need some space."

***

Lois went through the rest of the day in a complete daze. Though
she'd gotten what she wanted, she feared it had come at a
terrible price. Clark was gone for four torturous hours briefing
Inspector Henderson, and when he did return he barely spoke to
her. She watched out of the corner of her eye as he pretended to
write his notes down. At one point he'd had to leave for a
rescue and didn't even bother to come with an excuse. Why would
he? It's not as if they'd been behaving like partners at all
that day.

In the meantime, Lois and Claude had made no progress. It was
looking less and less as if he were some sort of diabolical plant
and more and more like there was a legitimate connection between
Lex and the French government that they had yet to discover. That
sort of research was going to take time and the talks had already
begun.

Given that they had no idea on what day of the talks the
assassination was supposed to happen, nor did they have any
reason to arrest or hold Preston Mills beyond their word, Lois
was feeling the pressure. She desperately wished Clark was next
to her to bounce ideas off of. It was turning out that she and
Claude had almost zero working chemistry now that she was no
longer infatuated with him. She remembered thinking at the time
how well they worked together, but now she understood that they
had never had the magic that seemed to exist between her and
Clark. And though Claude was intelligent and a good thinker, what
she thought had been magic had simply been her naivete in
thinking that he saw her as an equal.

Towards the end of the day, they had agreed to split up and go
their separate ways. It was going to take some digging to figure
out whether Lex's former business partners had ties to the
French authorities.

She realised with a start that she'd had the chance to do both
of the things that Doctor Friskin had asked her to do -- talk to
Claude and confide her fears to Clark and had done neither.
Instead she'd only alienated Clark further and shut Claude down
the moment the opportunity for a talk arose.

Should she book another session with Doctor Friskin? No, there
wasn't time for her to be sitting on a therapist's couch when
the President's life was at risk. At least, that's what she
told herself. In reality she didn't want to admit to her that
she had failed so utterly and completely.

Eventually, the day came to a close and Lois hoped she could try
to repair the damage she'd created with Clark. She got up, and
looked around, expecting to see him. He'd left his desk a few
minutes ago, she assumed, to go to the bathroom. She waited and
eventually after about fifteen minutes went by, she realised he
wasn't coming back. Either he'd gone out on another rescue,
or....

No, she didn't want to think that. She didn't want to think
that he'd given up. She needed to be able to fix this. Clark was
supposed to be the one who stayed.

And yet, she had tried to push him away. Maybe he'd simply taken
the hint. Damn it!

She pulled her coat on and headed for the elevator. She felt
tears threaten and didn't want to fall apart in the middle of
the bullpen.

***

Chapter 11

Lois arrived home and tried to forget the day ever existed. She
immediately threw off her pantsuit and blouse, stuffing them
angrily in the laundry hamper as if they were to blame for her
mood. She put on a pair of sweatpants and a tank top, and headed
back into the kitchen. If she was going to be miserable, she
would at least be comfortable.

She grabbed a ready-made frozen dinner from the freezer and
shoved it in the microwave without even looking to see what it
was. She set the timer and then found herself falling down into
the chair. She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to drown out the
panic she felt bubbling up inside.

He'd left. He'd walked out without even saying goodbye. She'd
pushed and pushed and pushed and finally he'd just...

What had she done?

She'd told Doctor Friskin that Clark would never leave her.
She'd believed it. But surely that was naive. She couldn't
expect him to stay and be treated the way she'd treated him,
could she? What would that say about him?

And what did it say about her that she had single-handedly ruined
the first healthy relationship she'd ever had?

No, she wouldn't cry. She wouldn't...

The microwave beeped and she opened the door, pulling the meal
out and burning her hand in the process. She yelped and went over
to the sink to run some cold water on it. Her hand trembled and
she didn't know whether it was from the burn or the...the...

She needed to call him. She needed to at least try to fix things.
She needed to tell him she loved him, that she hadn't meant any
of it, that she...

She turned the water off and went over to the phone, picking it
up and dialling his number with shaking fingers. She almost
didn't hear the sound of him landing on her balcony as the phone
rang, but she hadn't been able to miss the way her curtains
flared out as he stepped tentatively into her apartment.

He hadn't asked to come in, but he hadn't needed to. There had
always been an unspoken agreement between them that if the window
was open, he was welcome. She hadn't even realised she'd opened
it, but she was suddenly beyond grateful that she had.

His eyes met hers and he spun quickly out of the suit and into a
t-shirt and jeans. Her entire body tensed until she noticed the
look in his eyes -- tender and worried but so full of love it
made her heart ache.

"Hi," he said and she could hear the fear in his voice...the
uncertainty.

"Hi," she said back, not knowing what else to say. There was so
much it felt almost overwhelming.

"Who are you..." he cleared his throat and pointed to the phone
she forgot was still in her hand. "Who are you calling?"

"You!" she blurted out, her voice shaky as her shoulders sagged
with relief. "I was calling..."

"I'm here," he rasped, taking a small step towards her. The
worry, combined with the tenderness and sheer love in his tone
caused the walls she'd built around her to dissolve like
quicksand.

Before she knew it, she was sobbing -- great big gulping sobs.
She dropped the phone and began to sink to the floor, only to
find he was there, pulling her against him, holding her up as she
clutched the fabric of his t-shirt. She hung on for dear life as
a tidal wave of emotion ripped through her, soaking his shirt
with her tears in the process. It was okay. He was warm and solid
and sturdy.

And he was here.

His hand was rubbing gentle circles on her back, and he placed
soft, frequent kisses on the top of her head. In between kisses,
he murmured words of reassurance, though for the life of her she
couldn't make out what he was saying. All she knew was the love
in his voice was unmistakable. It was all she cared about.

"Oh, Clark, I'm sorry," she managed to say as her sobs began
to subside. "I didn't mean to push you away, I didn't mean
to..."

"Ssssh," he whispered softly, his lips a gentle tickle against
the top of her head. "I know. I'm sorry too. I'm here."

It was a few more minutes before she was in any shape to look at
him. When she'd finally stopped shaking and the tremble in her
hands had all but disappeared, she allowed him to reach down and
kiss her so softly she barely felt it, but it left a ripple
through her body she felt down to her toes.

"I love you," he said, his dark eyes so intense she shivered
involuntarily. "I need you to know that."

"I know," she replied, taking a shaky breath. "Do you want
to...sit down?"

Why was she nervous? They were engaged. He'd just proven beyond
a shadow of a doubt that he loved her, so why did she still feel
so unsettled?

He nodded and they both went over to the couch. Clark sat, but
Lois still felt full of nervous energy. She also realised she
probably looked like a wreck. She gestured towards the bathroom.

"I'm going to uh...freshen up," she told him. He nodded, and
she entered the bathroom almost gasping aloud when she saw how
red and puffy her face was from crying. There were some women who
could cry so delicately they never even ruined their makeup. Lois
was not one of those women.

She grabbed a tissue and immediately went about removing the
mascara that had already left dark tear tracks down her cheeks.
Once finished, she splashed her face a few times with some water
to try to get rid of the puffiness.

Upon re-entering the living room, she noticed the couch empty and
a thrill of fear ran through her. The sound of dishes being moved
around the kitchen reassured her and when she turned, she saw
that Clark was hard at work moving things around, until
eventually he placed a frying pan on the top of the oven.

"Oh, Clark, you don't have to..."

"We've had a hard day and we both have to eat," he told her
with a smile. Somehow his smile could banish all her worries, at
least temporarily. She wondered if he knew it was her favourite
superpower. "Unless you wanted to eat your microwave
dinner...."

She glanced at the dinner she'd been prepared to eat before he
arrived and noticed it was charred beyond all recognition. No
wonder it had burned her. She'd likely not even noticed she'd
put the setting on the microwave that high. It was a wonder she
hadn't burned the place down.

Cooking had never been something she was very skilled at, but
this was a new personal worst. She grimaced and tossed it in the
trash, moving towards Clark and touching his arm gently.

"What are you making?"

"Just some scrambled eggs and bacon," he said, dropping a brief
but tantalising kiss on her lips before going over to the fridge
and getting out the eggs. "I hope you don't mind breakfast for
dinner? It's all you have in your fridge...do you ever actually
shop for groceries?"

She laughed, relieved that they were back to banter. Banter she
could do.

"I love breakfast for dinner," she replied. Then, with mock
annoyance, "And I will have you know tomorrow was supposed to be
grocery day."

"We still have a lot to learn about each other, don't we?" he
asked. The question was innocent enough, but it left an
undercurrent of uncertainty -- the same undercurrent that had led
to Lois' reaction and subsequent attempt to push him away. She
took a deep breath.

"You're right," she agreed and watched with fascination as he
used his heat vision to heat up the eggs and bacon. Did she know
he could do that? "I guess...there's a lot we need to talk
about before we..."

"Yeah," he agreed, as he set the table. "For example, me
cooking you dinner. We've done it a few times, but..."

"It still feels strange," she finished. "Like we're playing
house."

They sat down and the conversation seemed to pause itself as they
ate their dinner. Lois found she was suddenly ravenous, her
previously non-existent appetite returning with a vengeance. When
she finished, Clark chuckled slightly and she suddenly felt shy.

"What?"

"Nothing," he replied, but the mischievous glint in his eyes
only spread to his smile. "Just that you inhaled that faster
than me...and I have superpowers."

"I guess I was hungry," she admitted. They went back into the
living room and he sat down on her couch, gesturing for her to
curl up next to him. She did, and he wound his arms around her,
lacing his fingers through hers.

This was where she belonged. In his arms.

Eventually she sat up again, reluctant to leave his embrace, but
knowing she needed to talk to him before she lost her nerve.
Doctor Friskin had given her homework, and she knew if she
didn't do it now, she never would.

"I think I owe you an explanation," she said. Clark attempted
to speak -- likely to tell her she didn't, but she held up a
hand and he got the message. "I haven't been myself these last
few days. Actually...I haven't been myself ever since we got
trapped in that virtual reality simulation. I've been...scared.
Anxious, really, about what the future holds between us."

"I don't understand," he said, his brow furrowing with worry.
"Are you having second thoughts about marrying me?"

"No!" she exclaimed. "At least...not the way you think. I want
to marry you. It's all I want, but...I'm scared. I'm scared of
what it will be like to live together...day to day. I've never
done this, and I don't trust myself not to ruin it. I'm
afraid...I'm afraid of turning into my parents."

"Honey," Clark said softly, leaning forward and brushing a
tendril of hair away from her face. His chocolate brown eyes were
so deep she could get lost in them. "We are not your parents.
Not even close."

"Are you sure?" she asked, feeling the anxiety rise within her
again. "I mean look at the past couple of days. I almost
destroyed us, Clark! I pushed you away and we argued and..."

"Lois, we always argue," he pointed out with a wry smile.
"Arguing for us is like breathing. Arguing doesn't mean the end
of a relationship. It's about how you argue. Every relationship
has ups and downs. We're going to fight. But we're also going
to kiss each other good morning, go to sleep in each other's
arms, eat breakfast for dinner...make love..."

The last part caused a shiver to go through her entire body, and
she bit her lip reflexively. His eyes darted towards her mouth
and darkened ever so slightly.

She shook her head, trying to banish the suddenly very intense
images that were flooding her brain. Making love to Clark was an
entirely different conversation and one that she knew she wasn't
ready to deal with. She forced herself back to the conversation
at hand.

"I understand what you're saying," Lois replied slowly, trying
to piece together all her anxieties so they made sense as a
coherent whole. "But I'm scared. Fighting scares me. I didn't
grow up in a house where two people fought and still respected
each other. I grew up in a house where each person hit as far
below the belt as they could, and the winner was the one who
could hurt the other person the most. It's all I know."

"It's not all you know," Clark insisted, running his hands
over her shoulders and down her arms. She didn't think she would
ever tire of his touch. "You and I...we fight, but we don't
deliberately hurt each other. We don't intend to be cruel. You
weren't trying to hurt me tonight or the past few days. I know
that. Sometimes we are both going to make mistakes."

"I know," she whispered, feeling as if she were on the verge of
tears all over again. "And I know we're not my parents, it's
just...we're taking such a huge step. And I want to take it, I
just...I feel like I'm jumping out of a plane without a
parachute or even lessons on how to jump out of a plane. Does
that make any sense?"

He nodded and she could see the same terrified understanding in
his eyes. It was that understanding that caused her to lean
forward and kiss him, softly at first and then with an intensity
that surprised her. He deepened the kiss, his tongue delving into
her mouth as his arms tightened around her.

She whimpered against him as his hands gripped her hips and
pulled her into his lap. She gasped in surprise. He felt so good,
smelled so good. He kissed her with a need bordering on
desperation and she returned that feeling in kind. They hadn't
been together like this in days -- hadn't kissed like this in
days. She hadn't realised just how much she needed to feel him,
needed to touch him.

"Clark," she whispered as his lips trailed down her neck with
soft kisses leaving absolute fire in their wake. "Oh God,
Clark..."

"Missed you," he mumbled as he nibbled gently at her collar
bone. "Missed you so much..."

She wanted him to keep going. Her body was responding to him in
such a way that she knew if she didn't put the brakes on things
soon, that restraint would disappear on both their parts. Part of
her wanted that -- to lose control and see what happened.

But the saner part -- the part that knew there was still so much
to resolve -- prevailed. Reluctantly, she broke away from his
embrace, panting heavily. Clark looked somewhat confused as she
did so, but didn't stop her. As he struggled to get his physical
response under control, Lois stood up and started to pace
slightly.

"I'm sorry," he said finally when his own breathing returned
to normal. "I just...it's been a few days and..."

"Yeah," she replied with a nervous laugh. "And I want to. I
want *you.*I want you so much it's all I think about at times,
but..."

"I know," he replied, his voice gruff with emotion. "I love
you. And I want to make love to you, but that's not all I want.
I can wait. We have forever, after all."

"So how do we get to forever?" Lois wondered. "I'm so scared
I'm going to be bad at this...that I'm going to fail...we're
going to fail."

"I think I have an idea," Clark said, sitting forward a little.
Lois sat back down on the sofa, though she didn't get too close
to him. Touching him right now was definitely playing with fire.
"A way for us to jump out of the plane with a parachute...like
you said. What if...what if I moved in?"

"To this apartment?" she asked, "before the wedding?"

"Yeah," he replied, smiling as he warmed to the idea. "I know
we weren't planning on living together before the wedding, but
what if we did? To see how hard it is?"

"So you want to practice living together?" she guessed.

"Yeah," he said, his voice now sounding excited. "Like how we
had an 'almost first-date'. This would be a practice first
place."

"Why not have me move into your place?" Lois wondered, feeling
a thrill of excitement at the idea of what he was suggesting.

"Well, we could," he acknowledged, "but I think you'd be more
comfortable here since it's your space. It would help ease your
nerves about what things are going to be like as a married
couple."

"What about..." she hesitated, "making love? I mean if you're
here...well..."

"If you still want to wait, we'll wait," he promised her
firmly. "And if you change your mind...then we could practice
that too."

A lick of fire coiled in her stomach at his words.

"Would you be able to do that?" she asked him breathlessly as
she looked into his eyes. "Sleep next to me, without..."

"If that's what you want," he vowed, his own voice deepening
into the tone she was beginning to recognise as his when he
was...affected by her.

"I don't want to fall asleep without you," she admitted.
"It's all I've been able to think about. And there are other
things I want to talk to you about. Fears I have about...making
love for the first time."

"We'd have time," he pointed out gently. "We'd have as much
time as we need."

"Alright," she agreed, feeling as if she was about to bubble
over with excitement. When she'd come home from work that day,
it had felt as if her world was crumbling around her. Now, all
she could think about was the fact that she and Clark were going
to sleep in the same bed for the first time -- that she was going
to fall asleep with his arms wrapped tightly around her. "Let's
do it."

"Yeah?" He looked equally excited and a silly grin broke out on
both their faces. He stood up. "I should go back to my place and
get a toothbrush and some clothes and..."

"Go," Lois said, waving him towards the window. "Get what you
need. I'll be here. We can watch a movie and then..."

"Go to bed," he finished for her. She suddenly felt short of
breath and could only manage a nod.

He returned with enough of his things to get him through the next
week. He'd told her he would get more of his stuff as the need
arose, but being Superman, it didn't take him that long.

Both agreed not to talk about the story, or Claude, or Lex Luthor
that night. She knew they would have to go over what happened in
the jail tomorrow, and Lois was fine with that.

But tonight was their first night together and she didn't want
it marred by talk about Lex. And so they settled in on the couch
and put on a movie both of them had seen a million times. She was
more emotionally exhausted than she realised because she fell
asleep almost immediately after the movie started.

It wasn't until she felt herself being lifted off the ground
that she opened her eyes to find that she was being carried to
bed. His arms held her tightly and he gazed at her with a kind of
innocent wonder that made her heart swell. All her fears melted
away as he kissed her tenderly, and climbed into bed next to
her.

***

Chapter 12

Lois woke the following morning knowing two things: the first was
that her heart had never felt lighter than it did waking up in
Clark's arms and the second was that she had to pee. And she
knew that in order to deal with the second, she would have to
disrupt the first. And she was loath to disrupt the first.

Still, her bladder waited for nobody, it seemed, so she gently
managed to move his arm off of her and slid out from under him,
padding her way into the bathroom. After washing her hands, she
took her time running a brush through her hair and brushing her
teeth. She knew it was silly. After all, Clark was going to see
her first thing in the morning with morning breath and messy hair
every day for the rest of their lives and yet for some reason she
wanted the first morning they woke up together to be perfect. She
wanted him to see her as perfect. Or at least as close as she
could get.

She opened the door to the bathroom only to jump back in surprise
to find him standing there. He looked rather sheepish.

"Sorry," he said softly, "didn't mean to scare you. Can
I...?"

He gestured behind her and she realised that he too needed to use
the facilities. She blushed slightly and moved aside as he
entered. Unsure of what to do next (did she wait for him in the
bed? Go make some tea?), she found herself sitting awkwardly on
the edge of the bed as she listened to the toilet flush, then the
sound of the sink. The water ran a bit longer than was strictly
necessary and Lois wondered if he also was freshening up a bit.
The thought of it was reassuring. It meant she wasn't the only
one with nerves.

When he finally exited the bathroom she felt a silly smile spread
across her face as she looked at him standing there. She also
felt a bolt of heat shoot through her as she took in the sight of
him shirtless and wearing only a pair of cotton shorts.

"What?" he said, and she realised she must have been staring
too much. She looked down and played absently with the duvet
cover.

"Nothing, just..." She looked up and gestured vaguely. "You,
and me...waking up together. It's nice. More than nice.
Perfect."

"Yes, you are," he murmured softly. Her heart gave a gentle
flutter at the love in his tone. She smiled as he made his way
over to her and sat down on the bed next to her, taking her hand
in his. He leaned down and kissed her softly, but thoroughly,
caressing her face as he did so. "Good morning."

"Good morning," she replied, realising that the silly grin must
still be plastered all over her face. "Uhh, what comes now? Do
we snuggle some more? Get breakfast? How does this work?"

"You tell me," he replied, looking equally flustered. "I've
never woken up with anybody before. You've at least got some
experience."

"Going to bed? Yes. Waking up and having them still be there the
next day? Not so much." She noticed him wince and forgave him
for his accidental faux pas.

"Sorry," he apologised, squeezing her hand. "As for what we do
next, I'm thinking breakfast and getting ready for work. Though
it's not what I'd prefer to do."

"Work...right," she said with a sigh as she stood up. "I
uh...don't have any breakfast food left. You used it all up last
night, and today is..."

"Grocery day, I know," he grinned and she could see the
mischievous glint in his eye that told her he was teasing her.
"Not a problem. I'll be back in a minute or two."

Before she could respond, he'd spun into the suit and flown out
the window. She barely had any time to even think about getting
changed before he returned with a couple of bags in his hands
from a cafe that looked to be...French? Had he flown to...

"There's a cafe in Paris that has the best croissants," he
explained as he got the food out on the table. He spun out of the
suit and back into a t-shirt and shorts. "I thought you'd
like..."

"Are you kidding me?" she exclaimed as she followed him to the
table, "carbs are my soulmate! Next to you, of course. Do you
want me to make us some coffee?"

"Yes, please," he said and she wondered how long it would take
for this odd veneer of politeness to drop away and just let them
be themselves. She put a coffee filter in and scooped a few
tablespoons in, all while watching him. Once the coffee was
brewing, she made her way back out to the kitchen and sat down at
the table, spreading some butter on her croissant. Her mind went
over their conversation in the bedroom, replaying every moment in
detail as they ate. This would only happen once after all. This
first morning.

"What would you have preferred to do?" she asked him. He looked
at her, confused. "You said that breakfast wasn't what you
would prefer to do first thing in the morning. I guess I'm just
wondering because we don't know each other's habits yet.
So...what would you prefer to do?"

"Oh, ummm..." she noticed he blushed slightly and didn't meet
her eyes. She suddenly wondered if the answer was something
private. Eventually, he gave her a slightly embarrassed smile
before answering. "I just meant that the things I would want to
do first thing in the morning we aren't...ummm...doing yet. That
is, eventually we will, but for now...."

"Are you saying you want to make love first thing in the
morning?" she asked, wondering where the hell this bold version
of herself had come from. He blinked, surprised as well, before
swallowing heavily. "It doesn't have to be first thing. In the
shower would be nice too, but...yeah."

"Saves water too," she replied, refusing to blush. They had to
be able to talk about this. Plus, it was kind of sexy. Clark
nodded, his hand stilling in mid-air. He'd been lifting his
croissant to his mouth and she watched as it hovered there,
wondering how long it would take him to remember it existed.

He eventually cleared his throat and took the bite, and Lois felt
another flutter go through her as she imagined what it might be
like to make love to Clark in the shower. She must have zoned out
because eventually Clark got up and went into the kitchen. She
turned and watched as he poured them two cups of coffee,
heartened to see that he knew where her sweetener was located, in
addition to being able to make hers exactly how she liked it.

When he returned, she forced herself to think about the day
ahead. As much as she was loving this feeling of domesticity, she
knew there were larger things that needed to be dealt with --
namely the threat against the President. Despite her visit to the
prison and the havoc it had wreaked on their relationship, she
was no closer to understanding what Lex's endgame was or what
the French government had to do with it. She knew the only way to
figure things out was to talk it over with Clark -- something she
hadn't wanted to do because it meant admitting to herself (and
possibly to him) that she'd been wrong to go to the prison.

Still, there was a chance that if they talked it over together,
he might find something she missed. That was, after all, why they
worked so well together. They filled in each other's gaps.

She also knew that she didn't want to have this conversation at
the *Planet*. She still wasn't entirely convinced Claude's
arrival was a coincidence, and even if it was, she didn't want
to open a wound like this in front of him. He'd been responsible
for enough damage.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Clark said as he sipped his coffee.
She shook her head.

"I wish I could say they were still on the two of us in the
shower." She got a small thrill out of the look on his face
before forging ahead. "Unfortunately, I'm thinking about the
conversation I had at the prison yesterday with --"

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to," Clark said.
"I shouldn't have been so --"

"No, you were right," she said with a sigh. "I should have
listened. I couldn't say that to you yesterday. I was too upset.
He...well, he upset me. And I should have waited." She looked
down at her coffee cup and the light brown liquid inside. "I
needed you there."

She hadn't realised she was close to tears until he reached for
her hand. The moment her eyes met his, she almost broke down.
Instead of seeing judgement, all she saw was compassion and love.
If there was any anger inside him, it wasn't at her.

"What did he say?" he asked softly. "Anything useful?"

"I don't know," Lois replied feeling slightly helpless. "You
were right about him wanting me there. He knew I would come. He
even had me on his list of approved visitors."

She noticed Clark's face darken at that information and wondered
if she'd said too much. She knew that Superman did not kill, but
she also knew that if anyone could tempt him to break that rule
it was Lex Luthor. His jaw tightened and she proceeded to repeat
the conversation she had with Lex in excruciating detail. She
could tell it was almost as painful for him to hear as it had
been for her, and that was saying something.

"So you're saying he's had the ability to bribe his way out of
jail this entire time?" Clark asked finally after she was
finished.

Lois nodded, feeling a chill run through her once more and
suddenly very glad Clark had asked to practice living together.
She wasn't sure she wanted to be alone right now.

"I keep thinking that's the key," she admitted. "He said he
didn't want to leave jail until he could be certain he would
never go back. But I can't see how that could happen. I mean,
even if he was acquitted for his past crimes, unless he lived
like a saint...well, he'd have to run out of judges he could
bribe eventually, right? I mean for him to be untouchable, he'd
have to have....oh God..."

It was all so chillingly simple. The entire thing. The reason
he'd helped his sniper cellmate get his conviction overturned,
the attack on the President. She could tell Clark had worked it
out as well because his face looked even more grim.

"He wants a presidential pardon."

"And to do that," she continued, "he'd need the President in
his back pocket."

"And if that were the case, he'd be out already," Clark added.
"So he doesn't have the President. Which means he must
have..."

"The Vice President!" Lois exclaimed with a gasp. "Claude was
right, this does go all the way to the top."

"Do you think he's involved?" Clark wondered, voicing aloud
what Lois had been turning around in her head ever since the day
before. She sighed.

"I don't know," she finally replied, "but you have to admit
it's very conveniently coincidental. Then again, this Claude
seems like he can barely keep a hamster alive...hardly the type
to engage in international assassination plots."

"This Claude?" Clark raised an eyebrow. "Is there more than
one?"

"No, it's just..." Lois hesitated, not sure how much she
wanted to say to Clark about how she used to see him versus how
she saw him now. *No,* she told herself, *don't hide your
feelings. This is exactly what Doctor Friskin told you not to
do.* Her inner voice was right. She needed to figure out how to
communicate with him. "I used to see Claude a certain way and
now...well, now I think I see him for who he really is. And it
isn't what I thought."

"What do you mean?" Clark asked, and she was relieved not to
see any jealousy in his expression.

"Well, when I was infatuated with him, I thought he walked on
water," she said with a bitter chuckle. "He could do no wrong.
He was French, cultured, wealthy...I guess I just assumed he was
a top-notch journalist, and I wanted to work with him. I wanted
to be with him. And then he slept with me and stole my story. And
instead of seeing him for who he really is, I saw a villain...a
man who waited for his moment and took what he wanted when it
came."

"Are you saying he didn't?" Clark looked confused and Lois
didn't blame him. She wasn't sure she understood her own
feelings any more than he did.

"I'm saying that he did all those things. And they were awful.
But he's hardly Lex Luthor. Just a man who took advantage of
someone who didn't have the experience or the wisdom to see him
for who he was." She shrugged and gave a sad smile. "And for
all the culture and wealth he appears to have, he's not even
half the journalist you are...or me for that matter. I see now
that he leeched off my talent as well as my --"

"Sounds like you're saying you don't think he's capable of
working with Lex," Clark interrupted, and Lois wondered if it
was because he didn't want to hear the rest of her sentence. She
didn't blame him.

"No," she said finally after thinking it over one more time.
"I don't. But I don't think we should fully trust him either.
I've made that mistake before and it cost me a Kerth."

Clark frowned at her words, and she could tell he was tempted to
try to convince her to tell Perry what really happened, but
thought the better of it. Instead, he set his coffee cup down,
stood up, and leaned over to kiss her softly on the cheek.

"What was that for?" she asked, with a slightly surprised
smile.

"Because this is how I want to begin every morning," he told
her, the warmth of his voice wrapping around her like a cocoon.

"Talking about my exes and how one of them is planning to kill
the President?"

She knew exactly what Doctor Friskin would say about that last
comment...that she was deflecting. And she was right. Even now,
Lois sometimes felt it hard to accept the love that Clark freely
offered. Sometimes that fear manifested in harmless jokes, and
sometimes it meant pushing him away. Thankfully, this time it was
the former. Clark laughed and Lois was reminded of yet another
reason he was perfect for her. He understood her need for that
humour.

"No," he replied, reaching over to gently cup her face. This
time his dark brown eyes pulled her in completely and she found
herself unable to look away. "The part where I wake up with you,
and we have breakfast while discussing our day at work --
bouncing ideas off of each other. It's what we do best, and to
be able to do this the rest of our lives...I love you."

"I love you too," she said, surprised by the level of emotion
in his tone. He looked so completely open at this moment, sitting
at her table in his t-shirt and shorts and the enormity of it hit
her full force. He was right. This was it. Forever, between them.
And it didn't feel difficult or scary, it felt easy.

Before she could process that realisation, he'd taken her by the
hand, pulling her away from the table and bringing his lips to
hers for a kiss that left her breathless. Before he could pull
away, she deepened the kiss, wanting more. She'd kissed him in
many ways before, but never like this. Never first thing in the
morning after breakfast in her tank top and sweatpants with no
makeup on after having breakfast with him. Somehow that made it
different...more enticing. More real.

His arms wrapped around her as he responded to her kiss, his
tongue teasing hers lightly as she pressed her body flush against
his. The lack of a bra underneath her tank top caused her to gasp
ever so slightly. There was barely anything between them, save
for some light cotton, which sent a jolt of heat to all the right
places. She'd kissed him last night in this very same top, but
somehow this was different...more intimate.

She knew he felt it too, because his hands were clutching her
waist more urgently and she was surprised to realise her own
hands had drifted down to his butt where she found herself
grabbing hold. She whimpered softly into his mouth and forced
herself to push back from him.

She was breathing heavily as they separated, face flushed and
feeling as if her arousal was just as visible to him as his was
to her. And he couldn't hide it from her if he tried. He also
seemed short of breath, and she flashed him a satisfied smile.
There was no mistaking his attraction to her. It made her feel
powerful in a way she didn't normally feel.

"As much as I can't wait to continue that," she said, running
a hand through her hair and trying to banish the desire to
discard their clothing and throw caution to the wind, "we need
to get to work."

"Work...right," he replied as if he'd forgotten what the word
meant. "Do you want to shower first? I'll only take a
minute...literally."

"I can't wait then to see what happens when we don't have
to....rush off to work." How did her voice become that sultry
all of a sudden? Was she still talking? She must have been
because his eyebrows shot sky high and he gave her a look so full
of heat she was certain he was going to pull her to him and make
sure neither of them wanted to stop.

The thought of it caused her breath to catch, and she realised
she wouldn't stop him if he did.

Oh God, living together was going to be dangerous for both of
them.

"I'll uh...just go shower then," she said, as she moved
towards the bathroom.

She showered quickly, realising that while breakfast had been
nice, they hadn't left much room for the commute if she wanted
to take the Jeep. She knew that Clark could easily get them there
quickly if they needed to, but for some reason, she liked driving
to work in her car.

When she exited the bathroom dressed for work, Clark zipped
passed her so fast she barely saw him. By the time she was
finished applying her makeup, he was out of the shower, dressed
and ready to go. This was definitely going to take some getting
used to. She wondered if he always got ready so quickly or if
some mornings he took his time.

"You okay?" he asked her. She realised she must have been
staring and felt slightly embarrassed.

"Just thinking," she replied. She suddenly remembered something
she'd once said to him in another moment in which she'd been in
awe of not only his abilities, but how he chose to use them.
"Your life is so strange. And now...now it's going to be our
life. Our strange, wonderful life."

He kissed her softly and grinned. She found herself smiling back
as she grabbed her keys and he followed, hands in his pockets.
They headed down to the Jeep while Lois chewed some thoughts over
in her mind.

"I think we should continue to investigate Lex's ties to the
French government, but I also think that if he has the Vice
President in his pocket, we have to look into him as well."

"You're right," Clark said as she put the key in the ignition
and the Jeep roared to life. "And we will have to walk softly.
So far nobody knows we've made this connection. If they find
out...if Lex finds out..."

"He won't hurt me," Lois said softly, and though she kept her
eyes on the road, she could feel Clark's stare on her. "At
least, not while he's still convinced there's a chance I might
come back to him. He won't hurt me."

"That's not a risk I'm willing to take," he replied and
something in his tone told her not to argue. Besides, being
careful was sound logic, so she nodded.

"Alright. We keep Claude out of it for now then, right?"

"Right," he agreed.

Lois felt a heaviness descend on her the closer they got to the
*Planet.* Waking up with Clark had been heavenly, but the day
ahead of them was anything but. And if they couldn't stop this
assassination, not only would the President lose his life, but
Lex Luthor would be able to operate without consequence.

It was a heavy responsibility.

***

Chapter 13

They arrived at the *Planet* only to find Claude was nowhere to
be seen. A note on Lois' desk told them he'd gone out for
coffee and would be back soon. She double checked her watch. They
were right on time.

"He's been useful so far, at least," Clark commented mildly.
Lois had been thinking the same thing, but hadn't voiced it out
loud. She wasn't sure what to make of Claude's actions since
he'd arrived. He'd made at least one attempt at a conversation
with her, which she had shut down, and had since gone out of his
way to be accommodating.

Lois wanted to continue avoiding the man forever, but she knew
that wasn't possible. She also knew that she couldn't begin to
move forward with Clark until she'd done all the homework that
Doctor Friskin had assigned.

"Clark, I think I need to talk to Claude," she said with a
sigh. He gave her a quizzical look, but said nothing which she
took as a sign to continue. "That doctor's appointment I
had...it wasn't for anything physical. I had an appointment with
Doctor Friskin, my therapist. She helped me clarify a few things
about us, and even though it took me some time to get there, she
was right."

"And she also told you that you should talk to Claude, I am
assuming?" Clark asked, though he didn't seem bothered by the
idea.

"Yes," she told him. "She advised me to talk to you about my
fears and to have a conversation with Claude, though she was less
specific on how that one should go. I was sceptical at first,
but...I think she might be right."

"Yeah, I think she might be," Clark agreed. Lois looked at him
in surprise. She had expected at least a bit of pushback when it
came to Claude, especially after their fight over Lex.

"I...I'm glad you think so," Lois replied slowly. "I had to
admit, I was worried you'd be jealous."

"Before we started dating, I might have been," Clark admitted.
He took her hands and traced his thumb over one gently. "But
things are different now, and this isn't about me. Lois, this
guy was awful to you. When I think of how he hurt you, it makes
me angry, but I can't fight your battles for you. And whether
you want to yell at him or forgive him, I'll be here."

"I can't believe I was able to resist having my way with you in
the shower this morning," Lois murmured, leaning forward and
kissing his neck softly. She felt him clutch her hand tighter at
her words and a small strangled sound escaped his lips. She
leaned back and smiled, proud of the reaction she'd gotten.

"You are going to be the death of me," he murmured happily.

"You ain't seen nothin' yet, farmboy," she promised. Before
Clark could respond, the elevator door opened and Claude stepped
out, tray of coffees and various other items in hand.

"I suppose we should get to work," she said with a resigned
sigh. Clark nodded.

"Why don't I get Jimmy started on compiling a profile on the
Vice President. We can tell him it's for a story we are doing on
politicians who inspire us. I can have a look at what he finds
and see if anything jumps out that we can connect to Lex. In the
meantime, you can work with Claude on the French authorities
angle and...talk."

"Okay," she said with a nod, feeling something restless inside
her settle. She and Clark were on the same team no matter what.

"I'm glad she's helping," Clark replied with a soft smile as
he gathered his things. "But you don't ever have to hide that
you are going to see a therapist. I think it's really brave."

"Coming from you, that means...a lot," she replied as Claude
approached. They shared another significant look as he grabbed
one of the coffees, turned and headed over to one of the
conference rooms to talk to Jimmy.

Claude gave her a tentative smile and looked over at Clark.
"He's not my biggest fan, is he?"

"No, he isn't," Lois said bluntly. She was ready for this. No
more kid gloves. "Is there any reason he should be?"

"If by that you mean that you told him about our past, then
no." He shook his head and had the grace to look down at his
feet. Lois resisted the urge to feel sorry for him.

"We're engaged to be married," she pointed out. "I tell him
everything."

"I figured," he said, sounding somewhat resigned. "I
mean...you make such an incredible team. I've only been here a
few days and even I can see that."

"We're lucky to have each other," Lois replied, trying to find
a way to steer the conversation away from her relationship with
Clark. It just felt too weird to be discussing it with Claude.
Claude seemed to have gotten the hint because he cast one more
look in Clark's direction before returning his focus to work and
handing her the coffee he'd brought her.

"So where do you want to start? I see that he's following up on
some lead you don't want to tell me about, so I assume we're
continuing to look into Luthor's ties to my government?"

"How did you..."

"I'm not a completely awful journalist," Claude replied with a
slight smile. "I did overhear the people involved talking about
this plot, after all. Plus, I have eyes."

Lois gave a small chuckle and felt some of the tension drain from
her. Somehow, it was reassuring to know that Claude knew exactly
where he stood. She took a sip of the coffee and frowned. It was
awful.

"Clark is indeed following up a different lead," she said and
was relieved when Claude didn't press the issue. "And yes, I
wanted to continue to look into your government, but first...is
there any way we could have that talk you mentioned? I think
there might be some things we both need to say."

"Absolutely," he said, his head quirking slightly to the side.
She remembered that gesture. He used to do that whenever he was
trying to figure out someone's motivation. "Do you want to go
somewhere?"

"How about the other conference room," she replied, not wanting
to let things veer too far into any sort of territory that
resembled friendship. She still had no idea what she was going to
say to him and so moving into the conference room also allowed
her to stall a bit. She left the coffee behind and led the way.

Once inside, Claude pulled out a chair for her -- something she
once found charming, but now found irritating. She could pull out
her own chairs, thanks. She sat anyway, and the silence in the
room stretched out for a few minutes. Eventually, he broke it.

"I know that you probably didn't want me here," he said. She
didn't feel particularly inclined to argue, and since she still
wasn't sure exactly how much of her soul she wanted to bare, she
let him continue. "And you have good reason for that. But I
needed to come. Even if I hadn't heard what I heard...I would
have asked to help cover the talks if it meant getting the chance
to talk to you."

"Why?" she wondered aloud. It had never occurred to her that he
had wanted to come out of any reason beyond what he'd initially
told them.

"Because I've never forgiven myself for what happened," he
replied, letting out a whoosh of air. She found herself blinking
for a moment in surprise. Whatever she'd been expecting, it
hadn't been this. "The truth is...I had never been with anyone
like you. I was used to relationships that were strictly
physical, and then you came along and I was...smitten. And then
when we slept together...I got scared, and I ran. It was stupid
and cowardly."

"Yes, it was," Lois agreed, keeping her voice neutral, not
wanting to give him even an inch of leeway. She wasn't ready to
forgive just yet, especially since she wasn't sure she trusted
this little mea culpa. "Why now? Did you suddenly grow a
conscience you didn't have before?"

"Sort of," he said. She watched as he squirmed uncomfortably
and allowed herself to enjoy it. He clearly wasn't the sort of
man who was used to apologising, and he definitely wasn't used
to not being immediately forgiven after the fact. It was obvious
that his charm had gotten him far in life, and to see it fail him
now was very satisfying. "I...met someone."

She raised an eyebrow but said nothing. He looked away and she
wondered if he was trying to decide just how much he wanted to
tell her. Eventually, he looked back.

"She reminded me a lot of you. She was smart and ambitious, and
for once I finally felt I was ready to be in a committed
relationship. I wanted to stop running. I told her as much
and...well, she broke up with me on the spot. Didn't want
anything serious." He laughed but there was no humour in it. "I
suppose it's what I deserve."

"If you're looking at me to convince you that you don't, you
picked the wrong audience," she said flatly. Her emotions
simmered just below the surface, and she struggled to rein them
in. She could see there was genuine pain written all over his
face, but she wasn't capable of feeling sorry for him. Not yet.
He still had one larger thing to atone for that he hadn't even
mentioned.

"I know," he acknowledged. "And I've wanted the chance to
apologise ever since, but I didn't think you would want to see
me especially not after --"

"Not after you stole my story?" she interrupted, her voice
coming out a little harsher than she'd intended it. She wasn't
sure why, but his apology made her angry. She'd been the wronged
party. She'd been the one who had been plagued by an inability
to trust ever since he'd so casually discarded her. She'd been
the one who had almost lost out on the best thing that had ever
happened to her because she'd been too jaded. And now he wanted
to waltz in and apologise?

He had the decency to look ashamed and nodded.

"That was probably the lowest moment in my professional
career," he said quietly. "I was supposed to be the senior
reporter -- the one with the instincts and experience, but even
then I could see that you were lightyears beyond me."

She resisted the urge to stand up and walk out of the conference
room right then. To think that the theft of what would have been
the first major award in her career had simply been a matter of
his inferiority complex was beyond infuriating.

"So, what...you stole my work and profited off of it because you
were cowardly and insecure, is that it?" She fought to keep her
voice level, to clamp down on the urge to punch him. To think
she'd had to work twice as hard for so long to prove herself
because of him had always made her angry. She thought knowing the
reasons for it would make it easier somehow but it didn't. It
only made it worse in some ways.

"Part of it," he agreed. "The other part was family pressure.
I refused to go into the family business like I was expected to.
Oldest son and all that. I wanted to be a journalist instead, so
I struck out on my own. I knew if I didn't prove myself, then I
would be forced into a career I didn't want. And then I saw your
story on your computer...well, the rest is history."

There was a long pause between them while Lois tried to sort
through her emotions. The anger was still there -- white hot and
ready to lash out, but there was also unwanted pity for the man
in front of her as well as the realisation that things had worked
out for the better in the end. After all, she would never have
been happy with a man as weak and insecure as Claude.

Eventually, she took a deep breath, counting to ten in her head
like Doctor Friskin had told her to do, and looked Claude in the
eye.

"What do you want from me, Claude?" She had trouble keeping the
weariness from her voice. "And please don't tell me you've
come in the hopes of something happening again between us because
--"

"No, no, of course not," he interrupted hastily. "Like I said,
I've followed your career. I knew of your engagement to Clark
before I came. And even if you hadn't been with someone, I
don't feel like what I did would even make me worthy of
reconsideration. I just wanted to...clear my conscience. I've
been carrying that guilt for years."

"And did you?" Lois asked him tersely. She didn't want to lose
her cool in the newsroom, especially when she knew that Clark's
super hearing would pick up her voice if it was raised in any
sort of distressed way. He'd never listen in on purpose, but she
also knew how in tune he was to her due to her penchant for
getting herself in trouble. "Is your conscience clear? Do you
just have to say sorry for that to happen? Or do you need me to
absolve you? Because I would hate for this to be a wasted trip
for you."

"I...I didn't mean..." he stammered, looking like a deer in
headlights for a moment, and a thrill of satisfaction shot
through her. It was petty, but at the moment it was enough.
"I'm sorry. I didn't realise how that would sound. I'm not
looking for forgiveness, Lois. And I know there are things you
need to say to me, which is why I assume you wanted to talk. I
know what I did must have hurt you, so whatever you need to do or
say...I'm here."

She took another look at him and opened her mouth, ready to give
him a piece of her mind. A thousand choice words and phrases
filtered through her head, ready to verbally cut him to pieces.
She could do it. Part of her even wanted to do it and yet,
looking at him in front of her, another realisation came to her.
She didn't *need* to.

It was a powerful realisation. One that shook her out of her
anger and brought her back to reality. Yelling at Claude would
not make her life any better. It might feel good in the moment,
but it wouldn't give her the internal satisfaction she'd once
thought it would. The fact that she'd achieved everything she'd
set out to despite him proved that.

In another life, she would have verbally torn Claude to pieces.
But that Lois was gone, and in her place, sat a woman more
confident in herself and her future than she'd ever been.

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Clark walk past the
conference room in deep conversation with Jimmy. Something about
the look in his eyes, the sincerity in his voice and the fact
that Clark was outside the conference room stopped her. She
smiled. Things were better this way indeed.

"You know what?" she said after a moment's silence. "You did
hurt me. At the time, I thought you'd broken me. But, I picked
myself up, I made myself stronger, and I won three Kerth Awards
on my own. And when I met Clark, I learned how amazing it was to
have a partner -- a true partner with whom I could share
everything with. You're my past, but he's my future. I don't
need your apology...but it was nice to hear. Thank you."

She was surprised to realise that she meant what she said. Before
she'd met Clark, she'd had fantasies of Claude coming crawling
back, begging for forgiveness, only to be rejected in the
cruellest of ways. She'd carried so much anger over the years,
she was shocked to find that his apology meant almost nothing.

She wondered if Doctor Friskin had suspected this would happen,
or if it was simply a matter of time healing all wounds? Either
way, it was nice to know.

"Thank you," he said back, sounding relieved. "I never wanted
to hurt you. And I'm sure you've found that living well is the
best revenge. After all, it's not as if my career has gained
nearly the amount of prestige yours has...and well deserved, too,
I might add."

She arched an eyebrow and allowed curiosity to get the better of
her.

"What happened there?" she asked, "I mean, you had that
Kerth...my Kerth. It must have opened so many doors. And you
certainly l*ook* like you've been doing well for yourself."

Once again, he looked slightly embarrassed. After all, he'd been
wearing suits that cost a month's salary almost every day. If
his career wasn't footing that bill, she wondered what was.
Especially since there was still a slight chance he was in Lex
Luthor's pocket.

"I'm afraid my standard of living comes from good old fashioned
family money," he said with a shrug. "My parents own the
airline company Dupont Airlines. They used to make military jets,
but in recent years have branched out into commercial planes.
Imagine their rage when I turned out to be merely a mediocre
journalist. I am...what do you Americans call it...the black
lamb?"

Lois couldn't help but let out a small laugh and even found
herself smiling at him.

"The black sheep," she corrected him. "So who took over the
company? Or do your parents still run it?"

"My younger brother runs it now," Claude said with an airy wave
of his hand. It was clear to her that the company mattered little
to him. "It turns out neither of us have much of a head for
business, it seems, because the company has been losing money for
years. Ever since they made the switch. Anyway, that's neither
here nor there."

Things were silent again, but in that uncomfortable way that
always accompanied an important conversation between two people.
It was compounded by the fact that Lois no longer considered him
an enemy, but certainly didn't see him as a friend. Still, they
had to work together, so they had to find some sort of working
relationship.

"Wow, this awkward silence, really is awkward, isn't it?"
Claude finally said with a laugh. Lois laughed as well despite
herself, and it broke the tension in the room.

"We should get back to work," she said, standing up. He stood
too. She walked towards the door, put her hand on the knob and
hesitated. Turning back to Claude, she spoke. "We're not
friends...you and I. We never were. And your apology, while
appreciated, doesn't change that. We will work together because
it's too important for us not to, but --"

"I understand," he interrupted and she knew that he was telling
the truth. She nodded.

"Then let's get to it."

***

Chapter 14

The rest of the day went by in a blur, with both Lois and Claude
focusing heavily on the task at hand. Clark worked just as
diligently with Jimmy, and by the time the end of the day came
around, all were exhausted.

Claude was the first to leave, grabbing his coat and heading for
his hotel room at bang on five. Lois spent the next few minutes
finishing up the notes she was typing before a fairly substantial
yawn forced her to save her work and turn the computer off. As
much as she had loved falling asleep with Clark for the first
time, she still wasn't used to having another body in the bed
next to her and she'd found herself woken a couple of times.

She knew she would eventually get used to it with time, however,
and the benefits definitely outweighed the growing pains. Indeed,
remembering that they were now 'practice living together' was
also a challenge.

She even found herself putting on her coat and grabbing her keys
to leave, before remembering that Clark was coming home with her.
She glanced around the newsroom and found him in conversation
with Jimmy. They looked to be laughing, so she guessed it wasn't
work related and was relieved.

Most nights, she didn't mind staying late if they were working
on something big, but tonight she just wanted to go home.

And she couldn't wait for Clark to come with her. She could see
he felt the same way because when she approached him he looked up
and gave her the biggest smile.

"All set to go?" he asked her. She nodded and she was certain
that to Jimmy they must have looked like grinning idiots. If he
noticed, he didn't say anything. Instead he simply waved.

"Good night, Lois, good night, CK!"

As they headed down to her Jeep, Lois turned to ask Clark what he
wanted for dinner, and just as suddenly remembered there was
still no food in the apartment. She sighed.

"Something wrong?" Clark wondered. Her shoulders slumped.
She'd been looking forward to a night at home after a hard day
of work, making dinner and then finding something to watch on tv.
It wasn't anything major, but for some reason she didn't want
to share it with a mundane task like grocery shopping.

They climbed into the Jeep and Lois put the key into the
ignition, and then was backing out of the space while still in a
slightly bad mood.

"I just forgot my fridge still looks like that of a first-year
college student," she grumbled. "Guess we need to stop at the
supermarket on the way home."

"No we don't," he grinned. She glanced out of the corner of
her eye at him in surprise and then shook her head.

"No," she said adamantly. "It's too convenient for you to fly
off and get food every time we run out. You keep doing that, and
I'll never go shopping. I want to try to do things like a normal
couple."

"Lois, I brought you breakfast from Paris this morning," he
pointed out, "that ship has sailed. Besides, I wasn't
suggesting that I fly somewhere for food. I, uh....emptied what
was left in my fridge and brought over what we could use. I also
did some grocery shopping earlier when I was called out for a
rescue, so your fridge is pretty full. I didn't think you'd
mind, but if you wanted to go shopping together, I apologise."

"No, Clark it's fine...great, even!" She smiled, feeling
relieved despite her earlier protests that he shouldn't have to
run the errand in question. "One day, I will definitely insist
we get groceries like a normal couple, but tonight, I'm glad you
did it already. It frees up our evening for one thing."

"Oh?" he said, sounding slightly intrigued. "And just what
would we be freeing our evening up for? Please, don't say
work."

"God, no," Lois said as she parked the Jeep outside the
apartment. "I thought we could just..." She turned to look at
him, and the heat in his gaze caused her entire body to come to
life. Here they were, day two, alone together in her apartment
and he wasn't leaving.

"So..." Clark paused, his tone deepening. "Play then?"

She wasn't going to make it to the wedding.

*Would that be such a bad thing?* her inner voice asked her. And
she honestly wasn't sure of the answer. She wanted to. But there
were still fears there that she hadn't dealt with. Fears that
couldn't just evaporate overnight, regardless of how expertly he
touched her.

She found herself being drawn to him, like a magnet. Helpless to
stop herself, she kissed him. The seatbelt tugged against her
body, a subtle reminder that they were still in the Jeep outside
the apartment.

But the moment his tongue met hers, the entire world dropped away
and there was only him. And God, how she wanted him. His kisses
teased her -- light and gentle alternating with deep and urgent.
In between kisses, he murmured things, though for the life of her
she couldn't understand them with the way her body was
responding.

She wanted to feel his body against hers, to allow his hands to
wander more than the restraints of their current position would
allow, but in a way she was grateful for it. It kept her
grounded. Kept her sane. Allowed her to pull back and remind him
that they needed to go inside.

It took him a moment to process where they were and why staying
there was not a great idea. He gave her a slightly shy smile and
nodded.

The cool air on her face as they exited the Jeep seemed to bring
them back to their senses, and the moment evaporated for now. But
she knew that simply by kissing him, the spark that had been
threatening since that virtual simulation could overwhelm them
both. She needed to talk to him before that happened. She knew
that was exactly what Doctor Friskin would tell her to do. Get
her fears out in the open. And listen to his as well. Surely,
after what he'd told her he must have them too.

With that resolve in her mind, they entered the apartment and set
their things down. As Clark took their coats, Lois had a quick
peek at all the groceries he'd stocked the fridge with. The
yogurt wasn't low fat and he'd gotten a different type of bread
than she normally did, but beyond that he'd done a fairly good
job.

"Any thoughts for dinner?" he asked, joining her in the
kitchen. She smiled and patted his chest affectionately.

"I have to warn you ahead of time that if you want to marry
someone with good cooking skills, then you'll have to find
someone else. I have about three things I know how to make and
that's about it."

He laughed and she loved the way his eyes seemed to twinkle when
he did.

"Would you like me to teach you?" he asked, wrapping his arms
around her from behind and placing a delicious kiss on her neck.
"I certainly don't want to find anyone else, so this seems like
the logical solution."

"Yes," she breathed, though she wasn't sure if she was
responding to the way he was kissing her neck or his offer to
teach her. Either way, she would enjoy both.

Reluctantly, he stopped what he was doing and moved over to the
oven.

"Alright," he said, holding out his hand, "let's start with
something simple."

***

Lois hadn't ever imagined a cooking lesson to be such an
intimate activity, and yet it was one of the most thrilling date
nights she'd had with Clark in a long while. They made a beef
stir fry -- a fairly simple dish, and yet Lois loved listening to
Clark talk about the spices he liked to use and how to make the
sauce while keeping the vegetables crisp. She thought back to
when they'd first met and she had mocked his knowledge of other
foods and cultures. It wasn't her finest moment, and she knew
now that her response to him had come from a place of insecurity
-- not to mention a growing attraction that she had no idea what
to do with.

Now, she found his experiences and world knowledge to be
incredibly sexy. And the way he found every excuse to touch her
while making the stir fry pretty much ensured this would be her
new favourite dish.

Eventually, the 'lesson' ended and they were able to sit and
enjoy the fruits of their labour. Lois couldn't remember ever
tasting a better meal despite the fact that the cap had come off
accidentally and she had poured way too much soy sauce in.
Something about the fact that they were able to relax, kiss,
cook, then pour a glass of wine and laugh about it, told her that
life as a married couple would be even better than she could have
imagined.

The fact that they had the following day off only improved Lois'
mood. It had been a hard, gruelling week -- one of the hardest
weeks she could remember in a long time. Normally they wouldn't
take the day off during a story as big as this, but Lois knew
things were only going to get more intense, and it was better to
get as much rest as they could when they were able. It wasn't
until now, safely cocooned in her apartment, that she could feel
the tension of the week drain from her.

And even though he could easily dry the dishes with his powers,
they both took the time to wash and dry them together. She knew
eventually chores like this would become mundane, but tonight it
was enough to know that once again he didn't have to leave at
the end of the night.

As they readied themselves for bed, Lois watched Clark make
himself at home in the smallest of ways while still respecting
her space in the ways that mattered. She smiled as he shyly
walked over to the bathroom to change.

She reached out a hand and touched his arm before he reached the
door, and he looked at her quizzically. She took a deep breath
and it was suddenly crystal clear what she needed to do for them
to be ready to take the next step.

"It's okay," she said, as she slowly unbuttoned her blouse and
hung it back up in the closet. Clark watched her, but said
nothing, his eyes darkening in that tell-tale way of his. He'd
seen her in a sports bra before when she was working out, but
somehow this was different. She rummaged through her drawer and
found a long t-shirt, pulled it out and reached around to unclasp
her bra.

"Lois?" His voice was hoarse and slightly unsteady.

"I, uh, think it's time we got over being shy around each other
like this," she said, her own voice quiet but determined. She
still hadn't removed her bra, but the clasp was now undone and
the straps had fallen around her shoulders. "Living together
means changing in front of one another...doesn't it?"

"Y...yes," he stammered and her pulse raced in response to the
sound of his voice and the naked desire in his eyes. "At least I
think it does. I've never..."

"You said we'd start slowly," she reminded him as she removed
her bra. The air was cool against her skin and the look on
Clark's face caused heat to spread throughout her body. "Let's
start with this. We need to stop acting like this is some hotel
we're staying in on assignment. Are you...okay with this?"

"You are stunning," he murmured, as she unzipped her skirt and
let it fall to the floor. She felt her breath catch and her face
flush at the love in his eyes before swiftly pulling the long
t-shirt down over her head.

"Are you...are you going to get ready too?"

She hoped so. Because right now she was extremely self-conscious,
having stripped down almost completely naked in front of him. He
stood there, t-shirt and shorts in hand, but completely
forgotten.

"I, uh, would like to," he said, suddenly looking anywhere but
directly at her. "But I seem to have...that is..."

She glanced down and felt her breath catch.

"Oh," she said softly. It had never occurred to her that in
this context it would make him self-conscious for her to see him
like this. After all, she'd seen him aroused before, but usually
during some moment of intimacy between them. "I didn't
realise...I mean...I'm sorry. I didn't mean to embarrass
you."

"Oh, no, you didn't!" he exclaimed, and she suddenly wasn't
sure if she wanted to laugh or cry. She seemed to be messing this
up spectacularly. What had started out as a bold step forward had
turned into an awkward sitcom on one of those late-night
channels. She forced herself to look back at Clark, who
thankfully was smiling at her. "It's okay. I just didn't want
to make *you* uncomfortable. I know it's no secret how much I
want you, but we've decided to wait and I didn't want you to
think...that is...I didn't want to push."

"Clark, I just took almost all my clothes off in front of you,"
she said, her voice affectionate and bemused, "and you're
worried about making *me* uncomfortable? You really aren't from
this planet. And you're not pushing if we're both just getting
ready for bed."

"Taking our clothes off in front of each other isn't just
getting ready for bed," he said softly as he undid the buttons
of his shirt. He'd shed his suit jacket and tie earlier in the
evening, so the dress shirt and trousers were all that was left.
Lois wondered why he didn't just spin into his shorts. After
all, he didn't need to physically go through the motions of
undressing the way she did. Then again, even if she hadn't meant
to tease him, she clearly had. Maybe this was just his own
version of revenge. If it was, she would happily pay the price.

"You're right," she said, her voice coming out as a squeak. So
much for confident. "But you were also right that the two of us
living together is the first step. If we want real intimacy, we
need to be comfortable with each other. You know...get used to
being together."

"I don't think I'll ever get used to seeing you naked," Clark
said with a grin. "I think you'll always take my breath away."
She felt her throat go dry as he removed his shirt and undid the
belt to his trousers. Her hands shook slightly at the sight of
him and she wondered how she would survive seeing him fully
naked. Oh yeah, they definitely needed practice.

"Even when I'm old and covered in wrinkles?" she asked, trying
to banish this feeling of breathlessness as he pulled his
trousers down, revealing his black boxer briefs.

"Especially when you're covered in wrinkles," he teased.
"Wrinkles are very sexy."

"I learn something new about you every day," she laughed. The
feeling of awkwardness seemed to melt away. "Are you sure
you're okay with this? I don't know if you've noticed, but I
sometimes jump into things without thinking, and after waking up
together and our dinner tonight, I thought 'I'm ready for this
next step', but I didn't think about the fact that you've
waited so long and...well, I don't want you to think I
was...teasing you. I mean, it must drive you crazy...when we're
close like this, I mean."

She paused in her ramble to notice just how close his body, now
naked from the waist up, was to hers. He'd moved closer to her
as she spoke, and she suddenly found herself beyond nervous and
just as aroused as he was. Whose brilliant idea had it been to
get him to take off his clothes? Oh right, hers.

"It does drive me crazy," he admitted, his voice soft and
husky. She noticed that he seemed to be opening and closing his
hands -- as if he wasn't sure what to do with them. "But it
doesn't bother me. It feels nice...just the feel of it. Every
new step we take is even more exciting to me because I know where
it's heading. I know what I'm waiting for. And you are beyond
worth it."

"Okay, you have to stop being so perfect," she murmured.
"It's making me look bad."

Unable to help herself, she reached out and took his hand. He
held it, looking down at their hands, then up to her, their eyes
locking for about five seconds before he pulled her close and
kissed her deeply. She felt her body press against the solid
expanse of his chest and whimpered as their tongues met,
tentatively at first and then more frantically as the heat that
had been simmering between them fanned to a roaring flame once
more.

Stumbling backwards, they made their way to the bed. Clark sat
down on it and Lois climbed into his lap, wrapping her arms
around his neck. "Okay," he panted in between hungry kisses,
"now you're deliberately teasing me."

"Do you want me to stop?" she breathed.

"No," he said, his voice ragged with need. He pulled away from
the kiss and Lois gasped at the mixture of desire and love she
saw in his eyes. "But fair warning, I don't know how much more
of this my self-control can take."

"I understand," she said and reluctantly moved off him. He
smiled reassuringly, and she could see he wasn't angry. She
wondered if his continual acceptance of her boundaries was the
reason she kept pushing them. She'd never been with anyone who
didn't try to push for more even after being told no. It was a
brand-new experience and one that ironically had the effect of
making her want to take that next step.

"Wow," he said after a moment of companionable silence. "Every
time I think that being with you can't get any better...you kiss
me like that. When's our wedding again? Can we move up the
date?"

Lois laughed and squeezed his hand. She glanced at him one more
time and took a deep breath.

"We can't move up the date, but we can move forward," she
said, her voice determined but slightly unsteady. He gave her a
confused look. "It isn't because of the wedding...the reason I
want to wait, I mean. That was a date I chose because I thought
that it would help me move past my nerves and fears if we made
love for the first time on the happiest day of our lives."

"Oh," Clark said, looking a little bit surprised. "I mean I
knew you were a bit nervous. You told me as much when we were in
that virtual simulation, but I didn't think...I didn't
realise..."

"I didn't tell you," she clarified, "because I was
embarrassed. I mean, here you are the guy with zero experience
and I'm the nervous wreck? I kept telling myself I was being
silly, that I had no right to be scared because we're so good
together."

"Everyone has a right to their feelings," he told her, his
voice gentle and reassuring. "And I can assure you that having
zero experience is terrifying in its own right. Especially with a
woman so strong like you. I guess it was silly to think that our
talk in the virtual simulation was enough."

"Yeah," she agreed. "But...I want to...talk, I mean. I think I
need to. I can't promise you that I still won't want to wait
until the wedding, but I think if we both get our fears out in
the open, that when we do make love, it will be better."

"We have all day tomorrow," he pointed out. "Let's make a
date. We'll have breakfast, I'll make some tea and we'll
talk...really talk. Both of us."

"Yes," she said, and for some reason found herself fighting
back tears. Something about the way he spoke to her triggered an
emotional release that she hadn't anticipated. She looked at him
and gave him a tremulous smile. "Will it drive you crazy
tonight, if I ask you to hold me?"

"Yes," he said gruffly, brushing a tear away from her cheek and
kissing her lips softly. "But I'll do it anyway."

***

Chapter 15

Lois woke up the next morning and was surprised when she reached
across and found that Clark wasn't there. She was even more
surprised to realise that, despite being only their second night
sharing a bed, she didn't like waking up without him. She yawned
and rubbed her eyes, trying to clear the fogginess from her
brain.

Eventually, the scent of bacon being fried in a pan wafted into
the room and Lois found herself climbing out of bed and following
it like a child following the pied piper.

She shuffled into the kitchen just in time to see Clark setting
the plates on the table.

"Morning, sleepyhead," he said, his voice warm and velvety. He
had obviously gotten straight out of bed to make breakfast -- his
hair was rumpled and unruly, and he had yet to put a shirt on.
Okay, she was awake. She was very, very awake.

The coffee maker made a dinging sound, signalling that it was
done brewing, and Lois made herself useful by grabbing two mugs
and pouring the coffee into them. It took her a minute before she
noticed that one of the mugs must belong to Clark, as she had
never seen it before. It was an odd shape, with the bottom of the
mug curved slightly outwards just enough so that it didn't sit
perfectly flat on the table. It was a hodgepodge of colours and
patterns, none of them feeling like they quite made sense. They
reminded her of his ties, though not quite as much of an assault
on the eyes.

He must have seen her staring at it, as he approached her and
wrapped his arms around her waist from behind, placing an
extremely tantalising kiss on her neck. She shivered and nearly
knocked the mug over. As it was, it rocked back and forth like
one of those circus clowns with the large floppy shoes.

"Where on Earth did you get that?" she wondered, her expression
both amused and slightly breathless. He was, after all, almost
completely naked, save for a pair of shorts, with his arms
wrapped around her body, his warm bare skin enveloping her. He
smelled like bacon and sleepy man, a scent she decided was beyond
intoxicating.

"My mom made it during her ceramic cookware period," he said,
placing soft kisses on the back of her neck. She felt herself
respond, and decided she needed to move away from him if this
breakfast was ever going to get eaten.

"I like it," she said and he grinned at her in a way that told
her he knew she was lying. "I also like this whole you making me
breakfast in the morning thing...though not so much the waking up
alone part."

They both sat down at the table and Clark took a sip of his
wobbly mug, and gave her a slightly self-conscious look.

"When I woke up, I felt a bit...restless," he confessed. "I
thought it would be a good idea to make breakfast."

A smile played across her lips as her eyes met his. He looked
slightly embarrassed, which she found beyond endearing.

"Do you wake up...restless a lot?" she asked, allowing her
bold, flirtatious side to take the reins. He looked a tad
startled, then gave her a shy smile.

"Lois, I'm a virgin. Just looking at you makes
me...restless."

"Oh," she said softly, looking down at her bacon. He reached
out and took her hand.

"Then I saw you last night and...well, I haven't been able to
think of anything other than how much I want you. Is it okay if I
tell you that?"

"Yes!" She hadn't meant to blurt it out that way and gave a
nervous laugh to cover her embarrassment. "I mean, that's what
we're supposed to be doing this morning, right? Clearing the
air?"

"Do you want to start now?" he asked. She was tempted to say
yes, but the grumble in her stomach distracted her. They both
laughed.

"After bacon," she replied, "bacon first."

***

With breakfast finished and cleared away, they both made their
way into the living room and sat down on opposite ends of her
couch. They sat there for a few moments in what was all of a
sudden extremely awkward silence. Lois couldn't remember feeling
this nervous around him.

He seemed to be feeling it too -- something she could tell just
by glancing at him, which was comforting. He was eventually the
one to break the stalemate as he gestured to the kitchen.

"Do we, uh...want some tea? Or some more...tension?"

Lois laughed, which made her feel better. This wasn't some scary
super villain in front of her. It was Clark, her fiance.

"No tea," she said with a shake of her head. "We just had
coffee. I just wish this wasn't so..."

"Scary?"

"Yeah," she replied, relieved he understood. "Although I'm
not sure why. I could undress in front of you last night, yet
talking to you about making love is nerve wracking."

"Being naked is different than being vulnerable," Clark
supplied softly.

"Sometimes they're the same, believe me," she replied with a
sad sigh. "I guess...if we want to get anywhere I need to be
okay with being vulnerable. So, here it goes."

She took a deep breath and looked him in the eyes. She knew he
wasn't going to want to hear some of what she had to say, given
that it meant talking about some of the men she had been with in
the past, but it had to be done. She needed him to know.

"I need to start by telling you that I didn't sleep with Lex."
She watched as Clark opened his mouth to say something, but she
cut him off before he could. "I realise that you never asked,
because neither of us likes to talk about him, but I need you to
know that."

"Why?" he asked, though there wasn't any recrimination in this
tone. It was a logical question. She'd been engaged to him as
well, and given that she didn't have any particularly strong
religious beliefs, he'd likely just assumed they'd had sex and
hadn't wanted to know the particulars, which she couldn't blame
him for.

"I knew I didn't love him," she said, cringing as she spoke
the words out loud. "I know how that sounds, but I didn't think
I was capable of...well, I thought admiration and respect were as
good as love. I knew I didn't feel any passion or excitement or
anything else they write about in romance novels."

She fiddled with the bottom of her long t-shirt and was suddenly
acutely aware that hadn't gotten dressed. She looked back at
Clark, who seemed to understand she wasn't finished. He waited
patiently while she collected her thoughts.

"I understand now, that those things are real. What I feel with
you...it's unlike anything I've ever felt. I feel like I need
you the way I need water, or air. And when you touch me..."

"I know," he said, his voice rough and his eyes unreadable. "I
feel it too."

She nodded, her pulse suddenly racing as their eyes met. Oh yeah,
passion was real. She focused on what she was trying to say,
refusing to let his magnetic eyes and incredible bare chest
distract her.

"Anyway...I knew I couldn't feel like that with him, and I'd
had enough unpleasant sexual experiences, so I found a way to
delay it. I told him...that I wanted to wait until we were
married."

The phrase hung in the air for a moment and Lois waited for the
look of disgust she was sure would follow as he realised that he
shared something in common with Lex Luthor. Instead, he nodded
and looked at his hands for a minute.

"I'm sorry," he said finally. "I should have tried harder to
convince you he was evil. I could have told you my secret...you
shouldn't have had to --"

"It's not your fault," Lois interrupted, "and I don't really
want to talk about him, but if we are going to have this
conversation, I'm going to have to talk about the men in my
past, and I needed you to know that he wasn't one of them."

"Even if he was," Clark said, reaching out to touch her cheek
gently with the pad of his thumb, "it doesn't change how I see
you."

"I know," she replied, feeling as if she were about to cry and
not really understanding why. "Sometimes it changes how I see
myself, though. The experiences I've had with other men...well,
for the longest time I thought it was me. Like I wasn't good
enough to make them want to stay."

She took a shuddering breath and gave him a half-hearted smile.

"Logically, I know that's not true, but..." she trailed off
trying to find a way to say what she was feeling in a way he
would understand.

"Every time I met someone I thought I cared about, it seemed
that all it took was one night with me and they were on the next
greyhound out of town. It made me wonder if I wasn't any
good...sexually."

"Lois, I'm completely in love with you," Clark said, sounding
more than a little surprised. Whatever he'd been expecting her
to say, that wasn't it. He stood up and paced the room for a
moment before sitting back down at the end of the couch.
"You're all I think about when...I mean every fantasy I've
ever had has been...wow, I am really messing this up, aren't
I?"

She laughed softly, which helped relieve some of her fears, but
not all. He still didn't seem to understand what she was trying
to tell him -- at least, not fully.

"I know you love me," she assured him. And she did, that much
was never in question. "I just need you to understand some of
the reasons that I'm scared."

"I'm scared too! Terrified actually!" he exclaimed. "I've
never done this before. What if I can't...I mean, what if I'm
not able to...I mean Claude may have been a jerk, but I bet he
knew what he was doing when it came to..."

The more he talked, the more the penny dropped, and Lois felt her
cheeks flush slightly. It should have occurred to her that he
would have these fears, given his inexperience, but for some
reason it still surprised her. Perhaps it was because whenever he
touched her, it felt as if he knew exactly how to give her
pleasure, like an instinct as old as time.

"You're worried about pleasing me?" she asked quietly and
found herself floored by the depth of her love for him.

"Of course," he replied. She looked away for a moment, fighting
the emotion that swelled within her.

"Well, you'd be the first," she said a bit more sharply than
she'd intended. It still stung to have been hurt so many times
that she'd come to expect it. She gathered her courage, knowing
that if she didn't say what she needed to say, it would eat her
alive.

"I've never told anyone this, but I've never...had an orgasm.
At least not with a man. I've had one with myself, I mean...oh
God, this is the worst time to ramble isn't it? I guess what I
am trying to say is that I've always...had to fake it. With men
who didn't even care about me. I know, I know...insult, meet
injury. But the thing is I don't want to...fake it with you, I
mean."

"Lois, you *couldn't* fake it with me," he told her with a
slightly amused smile. His tone was light and affectionate and it
took some of the heaviness out of the room. She met his smile
with one of her own, feeling able to return some of the banter.

"That's an awfully bold statement for a man who just admitted
to being terrified," she teased gently.

"No, I wasn't trying to brag," he insisted. Then, his face
flushed with embarrassment. "I mean that...I sense when
you're.... aroused. My powers...they can feel your pulse, hear
your heart rate increase or decrease, smell when you're...well,
you know. I hope you don't see it as a violation, but I've been
using it to figure out what you like...how you want to be
touched. In my head, I think of it as my Lois homework. So that I
don't make a complete fool of myself when we...are you mad?"

He must have looked up and seen the look on her face, mistaking
it for anger. In truth, anger was the last emotion she was
feeling. Surprised? Check. Head-over-heels in love? Check.
Incredibly aroused at the thought of him paying attention to
every aspect of her body while they were together to see what
pleased her?

Check. Check. Double check.

"Lois?" he said tentatively, once more.

Her mind raced all of a sudden with images of the two of them
together, her in his lap, his lips on her neck, her hands in his
hair. She swallowed hard and her breathing was suddenly very
shallow. She bit her lip and forced herself to speak.

"Clark, that's the most romantic thing I have ever heard," she
breathed. He looked a little surprised by her statement, and
somehow it only made her want him more.

"Really?" he said, his voice somewhat hoarse as he attempted
levity.

"Clark," she said, her voice a near whimper as she shifted at
the other side of the couch once more. "I want you...right
now."

"I know," he said, his voice tight with barely contained
restraint.

She watched as he slowly moved closer towards her, until he was
sitting right beside her, though she noticed he was careful not
to touch her. A muscle worked in his jaw.

It was all she could do, not to reach out and touch his leg. She
knew that would be all it would take before he would be on top of
her, pinning her down in an almost primal way. She knew they were
supposed to be talking, but part of her was done talking. Part of
her just wanted to feel.

"So what do we do?" she asked.

"What do you want to do, Lois?" he asked, his jaw clenched,
hands tightly gripping the sofa.

"I want to make love to you," she told him and it felt like a
confession. As she said it out loud, she felt something inside of
her unclench. She made a noise that sounded like a half-laugh,
half-cry and he gave her a startled look. "I don't know if it
means waiting until the wedding, or letting you carry me into the
bedroom right now. All I know is I want you."

"I want you too," he said, his voice a ragged whisper. The
intensity of the emotion in his voice caught her off guard, but
she knew what she was feeling now. Relief. Intense, profound,
relief. Well, relief and need. "I...I have an idea."

***

Chapter 16

Lois kept her hands clasped tightly in her lap, trying to clamp
down on the desire that was coursing through her. Clark was
similarly affected, and though both of them had turned a major
corner, she could see on Clark's face that he understood why
she'd been reluctant to make love in the first place. They both
had fears.

And they both wanted each other. But now, she understood that it
meant more to her that they were on the same page. So she waited
as Clark also fought to regain control of himself long enough to
explain his idea.

"Okay," she whispered, trying to think about something else --
anything else than how badly she wanted to kiss him. "What's
your idea?"

"I was thinking, that..." he looked a little shy all of a
sudden, which only intrigued her further. "Well, we've only
been practice-living-together for two days, and I think it's
going well."

She nodded, and let out a breath, willing her heart rate to slow
down. His dark eyes were still so intense, so deeply fixed on her
that she had trouble letting go of the urge to pull him down on
top of her and...nope. Focus. Focus.

"I was thinking there were other things we could...practice,"
he was saying.

"What do you mean practice?" she asked, feeling breathless all
over again. Something told her she was going to like this
suggestion.

"There are...uh...other ways to make love that don't
include..." He sighed and let out a breath. "There are things
we could try...practice...if you wanted to that don't include
the *big* threshold. Oh wow, that sounded so much better in my
head."

"Trust me, it sounds pretty good from here," she said, feeling
her entire body react to his words.

"Do...you want to...do other things?" she asked, her entire
face flushed with embarrassment. She wondered if he was talking
about what she thought he was talking about.

"More than you know," he said, and his voice was more than
husky.

"So you want..." she glanced down at his shorts.

"Oh! No! I mean..." He gestured down at his lap, his entire
face suddenly resembling a very handsome beet. "I wouldn't say
no if you wanted...but I wasn't asking...I wasn't
expecting..."

He took a deep breath. "Ever notice how the Earth never opens up
and swallows you when you want it to?"

"Yeah, I'm familiar with the feeling," she replied thinking of
all her rambles, too numerous to name. "So what you're saying
is --"

"We could..." he ran a hand through his hair, and she could see
the frustration he felt trying to get the words out. It was
rolling off him in waves. "Get to know each other more fully.
Learn what we like, what we don't like. Cross some little
thresholds before we cross the* big* threshold. You could help
me...teach me."

Oh, God. Was he talking about...

"I could...focus on those other things..." his face was still
flushed, but his eyes never left hers. She bit her lip as she
realised what he was offering to do. And what surprised her even
more was just how badly she wanted him to do it. It was an act
she hadn't enjoyed in the past, particularly because she knew
deep down that it was ultimately about their egos and never about
her pleasure. Looking at the earnest and very hungry expression
on Clark's face she knew that he meant every word he said about
wanting to learn what pleased her. There was something immensely
sexy about the idea of it.

And yet, there was also fear. After all, if Clark genuinely meant
it when he said he wanted her to help teach him -- and she
believed he did -- then it meant she had to be honest enough and
brave enough to tell him what she liked and what she didn't
like. She knew from experience how fragile male ego could be, and
while she didn't think Clark was like any of those other men,
criticism in the heat of a moment like this couldn't be easy,
especially when he was already so inexperienced. Could he handle
it if she was truly honest with him?

He must have sensed her hesitation because he reached out and
took her hand. Jolts of pleasure shot through her body as they
touched, and she fought to keep from gasping out loud.

"It's okay," he said gently. "It was just an idea. If you
aren't ready, I'll wait."

"It's not that," she said, trying not to be distracted by the
fact that he'd let go of her hand and was now touching her knee.
"I like your idea...love it, even. I'm just not sure...well,
you know how I hate it when you edit my copy, right? Well, it's
because in a way, I often feel my writing is a very personal
thing and it's hard not to respond negatively to criticism even
when it's well intended and --"

A smile spread across Clark's face, turning into a soft but very
affectionate laugh. Lois found herself smiling as well, though
she wasn't sure why.

"What?" she said with mock hurt. He grinned and once again her
mind reminded her of just how incredibly sexy he was. As well as
the fact that he still had no shirt.

"Only you could compare my err...offer, with me editing your
copy," he replied and she looked down at her knee where his hand
still rested, silently willing him to move it further up her
thigh. He continued to speak and his thumb moved gently back and
forth, which was intensely distracting in the best way. "I get
it, though. And I promise you, that my offer is as much for me as
it is for you. When I told you my biggest fear is that I won't
please you, I meant it. I also meant what I said about,
um...being able to tell when you *are* enjoying things."

She remembered. That knowledge was imprinted in her brain.
Ironically, if she thought about it, Clark knowing what excited
her was not that different from being able to visibly see
evidence of it. It put them on a level playing field in that
respect. "You really want to do this?" she asked. He arched his
eyebrows and she inadvertently glanced back down at his shorts.
"I just meant...you know...me um...editing your copy."

"Yes," he said and there was no mistaking the rasp in his voice
or the way his fingers inched ever so slightly up her thigh. She
swallowed hard and tried to remember to breathe. "Believe it or
not, the idea of you teaching me is...an incredible fantasy. But
beyond that, if I'm honest with myself, I would rather you tell
me you weren't enjoying it than to know you weren't and have
you say nothing. Does that make sense?"

"I love you so much," she said softly, but with a great deal of
feeling behind it. She'd never experienced this level of
thoughtfulness, love and passion from anyone before. He was
almost too good to be real.

"I love you too," he responded and the emotion in his voice
took her breath away. He looked at her hopefully. "So does this
mean you'd like to --"

"I would very much like to," she replied, both relieved and
suddenly very very aware that they were still both half dressed.
"Did you mean now, or..."

"Now would work for me," he shot back with lighthearted ease
that couldn't quite mask how nervous he suddenly was. "I can
check my schedule, but I'm pretty sure I'm free..."

His hand crept a little further up her thigh. Their eyes met and
it felt as if the air had been sucked out of the room.

"Oh?" she said innocently, her voice an entire octave higher
than normal as his other hand mirrored the first one on her other
leg. "So what's step one then?"

"Do you need to see an outline first?" He grinned now and she
felt herself surprised at how insanely exciting this was. Well,
exciting and utter torture.

"Well, if I'm going to be teaching you, I think it's only
right that I see some of your work," she replied, trying to
maintain a light teasing tone and failing with how affected she
was feeling.

He was about to do just that when the phone rang, startling them
both. She heard herself groan out loud with frustration. They
both sat there, completely frozen with indecision as it rang a
second and third time. In any other situation, she would have
ignored it but they both knew it could be Jimmy or Claude calling
from the *Planet* with important information on the story. With
the trade talks taking place, time was of the essence.

"We *could* ignore it," she said, as he reluctantly pulled his
hands away.

"Believe me, I would like nothing more than to throw that phone
out the window," he admitted, as he stood up and walked over to
answer it. He picked it up with a "Clark Kent here," and she
listened to Clark's half of the conversation, trying to put her
own frustration aside.

When he hung up, she knew what he was going to say before he said
it.

"That was Claude. He found something important."

She nodded. "I guess we had better get dressed?"

"You go first," he said, gesturing towards the bathroom. "I'm
going to uh...do a couple laps around the North Pole before I get
dressed."

A smile played across her face. "So that's how you deal with
frustration? Won't anyone...notice?" she asked, glancing down
to note just how affected he still was.

"I'll fly high," he grinned. "See you in a bit."

Lois watched as he spun around and zipped out the window. She
shook her head, and headed towards the shower.

"My life is so weird."

***

Chapter 17

Lois took her time showering and getting dressed as she waited
for Clark to return. Since she didn't have the option of
becoming airborne as a means of dealing with sexual frustration,
she opted instead to throw on some music as she dressed, take
deep breaths and think of anything other than the way Clark's
voice had sounded when he offered to...

Nope. Not thinking about it. Putting on work clothes. Makeup.
Things she did every day before she'd shared a bed with Clark
Kent. Eventually, the object of her frustration returned, flying
in through the window and spinning quickly into his work clothes.
As always, she was left slightly in awe as she watched him.

"Just in time," she said softly. She wasn't sure why, but she
was suddenly a bit nervous. A moment ago, she was willing to
become intimate with him in a way she'd never done with anyone
else. She'd done the physical acts of course, but emotionally
she felt stripped raw, and though she had just gotten dressed,
part of her still felt naked.

"I, uh...took a few extra laps," he said, also sounding
slightly flustered. "I didn't want to come back while you were
changing."

The last sentence and the nervousness in his eyes caused her to
relax. This wasn't like with the men she'd been with before.
Those men had been experienced and arrogant, and in her naivete,
she'd taken that arrogance for strength of character. They
hadn't shown her any flaws, or weaknesses, and she understood
now it was because they had been putting on a performance as a
means of getting what they wanted. There was none of that
artifice with Clark. What she saw was what she got.

And she saw a man who loved her and who genuinely wanted to
please her and was just as terrified of screwing it up as she
was. Good. It meant they both understood how much they had to
lose.

She shook herself from her thoughts and looked back at Clark,
giving him a more confident smile and taking his hands.

"It's okay, remember?" She kissed him gently on the cheek.
"We agreed not to be so skittish around one another. If I want
privacy, I'll go into the bathroom or let you know, but until
then...there's something pretty exciting about the idea of you
walking in on me changing."

She hadn't meant to say that last part. Especially since they
definitely needed to go into the office. However, the reason for
that seemed to fly out of her brain as she watched his eyes
darken and a flash of lust pass through them. They were supposed
to be calming down.

Whoops.

"Lo-is," he groaned softly, and she could see a slight tick in
his jaw. "We have to get to work."

But even as he said that, he was reaching for her, cupping her
face in his hands and pulling her close for a long, lingering
kiss. So much for calming down.

"Mmmm, yes," she said as she slipped her arms around him and
pressed her body close to his. "Work..."

She allowed herself to get lost in him once more, surrendering to
the way his tongue felt as it expertly teased hers, the way his
hands seemed to know exactly where to touch her, the way his
breath hitched every time the kiss deepened or their bodies
shifted.

Eventually, he broke the kiss, and stepped back from her, his
breathing slightly laboured. He gave her an unapologetic smile.

"Sorry, I can't help myself when I'm near you."

"I know," she said, then shook her head. "I mean, I feel the
same way."

A pause stretched out between them before Clark finally spoke
again.

"We really should --"

"Get to work, I know." They both laughed and she grabbed her
keys before they headed out the door.

***

They were greeted with the usual hum of the newsroom when they
arrived. Lois immediately noticed Claude sitting at her desk,
with dozens of papers strewn all over them. Instantly, she felt
irritated by the way he seemed to have made himself at home, not
to mention the way he'd managed to ruin what could have been an
amazing experience for her and Clark.

It wasn't helped by the fact that as they headed to her desk,
Clark took her hand, running the pad of his thumb lightly over
her knuckles -- a gesture that was innocent in every way but
caused her breath to quicken nonetheless.

"If you continue to tease me like that, we are going to end up
getting fired for public indecency," she said in a voice so soft
she knew only he could hear. In response, he let go of her and
placed his hand on the small of her back, causing her to grit her
teeth. He was doing it on purpose. Forget getting fired, they
might end up getting arrested.

"No intimacy at work," Clark whispered, his voice a delicious
rumble in her ear. "Gotcha."

Damn him.

When they reached her desk, Claude stood up and moved over as
Lois sat down. Both Claude and Clark pulled a chair up to the
desk.

"Sorry I had to call you in on your day off," Claude said. Lois
smiled weakly, trying not to feel resentful. It wasn't Claude's
face she wanted to be looking at right now, but that wasn't his
fault either. Some things were more important. Clark squeezed her
hand and she knew he was thinking the same thing. She squared her
shoulders and tried to focus on the pile of papers in front of
her.

"So, what did you find?"

"Quite a few things, but I'm not sure whether I am
understanding them correctly," Claude admitted. "I rather hope
I'm not to be honest." He shoved a handful of papers in her
direction.

Lois picked them up and tilted them in Clark's direction who
pretended to rifle through them while he scanned them. He looked
back up with a raised eyebrow.

"This says that your family's company Dupont Airlines is..."

"About to receive a military contract from the French
government, yes," Claude said with a sigh. For the first time,
Lois really looked at him. He looked haggard and anxious. She
tried not to, but she felt a slight pang of pity for him.

"I thought you said they had branched out into commercial
planes," she said, looking through the documents in confusion.
Claude had managed to get his hands on the list of major
shareholders in his family's company. His brother still did own
the company, but only barely. A second major shareholder's name
on the list rang a bell in Lois' mind, though for the life of
her she couldn't figure out why.

"They had," Claude replied, his voice laced with frustration.
"At least, until the last year or so. I haven't really paid
much attention, to be honest, because I wanted a clean break, but
it looks like they were in more trouble than I realised. My
father swore he would never go back to building weapons for the
military and now..."

"Who is this other shareholder?" Clark asked, pointing to the
name that was buzzing inside Lois' head, demanding she remember.
"Rex Alexander? That name sounds familiar. Who is he?"

"I don't know," Claude replied, running a tired hand over his
face. "I called my brother to ask about him, and all he would
tell me was that he was American and he had all but saved the
company from bankruptcy a couple of years ago. Bought some
shares, invested a bunch of money, but never appeared in person
for board meetings and major votes. He always sent someone on his
behalf, and then a couple years ago, stopped sending anyone
entirely."

"Is this why you called us?" Lois asked absently, turning the
name over and over in her mind, "to tell us about the military
contract?"

"Partly," Claude replied. He fished around for some more
papers. "I was looking to see what the tie between our
governments could be and I noticed the name Rex Alexander kept
popping up. Near as I can figure, whoever he is would benefit
greatly if our government had a trade agreement with the United
States for various munitions, weapons and military vehicles such
as..."

"Planes, trains and automobiles." Clark finished grimly.

"More like planes, missiles and tanks," Claude muttered.

"Lex!" Lois suddenly exclaimed as the name suddenly made all
too much sense. She immediately felt foolish for not seeing it
sooner, especially since they already knew he was responsible.
"Rex Alexander was one of the aliases that Lex used for some of
his business dealings. Remember, Clark? When you told me
to...investigate him?"

She cringed inwardly at the memory. It had been just after she'd
turned Clark down and gotten engaged to Lex. She'd been
desperate at the time to keep Clark in her life, and so despite
their falling out, she'd borrowed one of Lex's convertibles and
offered Clark a ride. Clark had gotten in the car reluctantly,
refusing her attempts to repair their friendship. She understood
why now, of course, but it still hurt to think about.

"*You're an investigative reporter, Lois. Investigate!"*

She never realised just how permanently that moment had become
seared in her memory, but something in Clark's challenge had
caused her to awaken from whatever haze she'd been in. She'd
done what he asked, and begun looking into Lex's business
dealings, albeit a bit halfheartedly. She hadn't been ready to
acknowledge that Clark had been right, nor that she had feelings
for him.

"Lois?" Clark's voice intruded on her thoughts, and she
realised she must have zoned out. It was hard to think about
those few weeks after they had lost the *Planet* even now. She
swallowed the emotion that suddenly bubbled to the surface and
gave him a reassuring smile. She'd deal with these emotions
later in the safety of his arms when they didn't have an
audience.

"When I did, uh...investigate him, I found that name showed up a
lot. I never got the chance to ask him what it meant before..."
she trailed off and Clark nodded.

"Now that you mention it, the name popped up in our
investigation too," Clark mused. Lois remembered him telling her
that he, Perry, Jimmy, and Jack had all worked together to find
the evidence necessary to bring Lex to justice. She shook her
head. It felt like a lifetime ago. So much had changed. "But
would he still use that name? I mean, it feels a
little...obvious, doesn't it?"

"Well, if he bought shares in Dupont before he was put in
prison, then I think he likely felt untouchable," Lois said, a
leaden feeling in the pit of her stomach. "And using it
now...well, he wants us to know. He wants us to know he's behind
this. And that scares me to death."

She hadn't meant to say the last part, especially in front of
Claude, but it had just slipped out. The look in Clark's eyes
was one of pure reassurance. He didn't touch her, but she could
tell he longed to, and for now that was enough.

"King Lex," Claude said quietly. They both looked at him. He
gave them a sheepish smile. "Rex is Latin for King and Lex can
be a shortened form of Alexander."

"Yes," Lois said, her lips tight and her body rigid. "That
makes sense. His own little idea of a twisted joke. His empire
was, after all, like a kingdom."

"But where's the money coming from?" Clark exclaimed, standing
up and pacing the room in frustration. "He was bankrupt...done!
His assets were frozen, so how is he...?"

Lois watched him frown and run a hand through his hair. She could
see the effort it was taking him not to put his emotions on full
display, but he didn't need to. She could see. He was angry, and
he was scared.

And that scared her.

"Well, if he bought the shares before we put him away, he'd
still have some money even if it's under an alias." She forced
herself to sound logical and methodical. Emotions wouldn't do
them any good here. It was what he was hoping for. "Of course,
he would need to have someone to help him access it."

"Either that, or he has more money somewhere that isn't
traceable to him," Claude mused.

"Now there's a thought," Clark said, turning and looking back
at them both. He tensed up even more and gave Lois a look that
made her shiver. "What if he did have another account in someone
else's name? Someone who could access the funds without ever
having it traced back to him? Someone who he still thinks he's
going to spend the rest of his life with?"

Lois felt her entire body go cold as she realised what he was
implying.

"Are you saying that he might have --"

"Opened an account in your name," Clark finished, his jaw tight
with suppressed emotion. "Did he say anything to you? Get you to
sign anything?"

"I..." Lois' hands started to shake as she thought back to all
the paperwork she'd signed when she had joined the Luthor News
Network, not to mention the slew of papers she'd signed having
to do with the prenuptial agreement as well as other things. She
flushed with embarrassment and fought the urge to throw up. "I
don't know, Clark, I...I signed so many things and all happened
so fast and..."

She swallowed and suddenly felt extremely lightheaded -- as if
the room was closing in on her. Her face felt hot, and tears
pricked at the back of her eyes. Voices in the room faded to a
dull roar.

A half second later, Clark was at her side, the reassuring weight
of his hand was on her shoulder, pulling her close and anchoring
her. She took deep breaths until the feeling passed and she was
able to sit up again.

She was surprised to find that she didn't feel embarrassed that
Claude had seen her almost break down. With a start, she realised
it was because she no longer cared what he thought of her in any
capacity. It was as if they had never shared anything more than a
casual conversation, and she was grateful for it.

She forced her mind back to the conversation at hand.

"If Lex did open a bank account in my name expecting me to
access it, how is it that I don't know about it?"

"When you think about it, It wouldn't be hard," Clark replied,
his teeth clenched. "He could have opened an account at any bank
in Metropolis."

"That would make sense," Claude replied. "If everything you
say about him is true, he's not the type to leave anything to
chance. It looks like he has multiple sources of revenue at his
disposal. Including my family."

Lois noted that he sounded especially bitter about the last point
and was surprised to find that she hadn't even questioned
whether he was lying to them. He seemed genuinely shocked to be
connected even tangentially to a criminal like Lex Luthor.

"So, here's what we know," Lois said, deciding to lay
everything out on the table as objectively as possible. "Lex has
paid an assassin whom he knew in prison to assassinate the
President. He's apparently talented enough to make the shot so
far away that not even Superman will hear it."

She looked at the others and noted they were paying full
attention.

"We also know that before he was arrested, he went by the alias
Rex Alexander to purchase shares in at least one company that we
know of -- Dupont Airlines. We know that he invested heavily into
Dupont, and somehow managed to convince the French government to
offer an exclusive contract to the company to build weapons,
which will then be sold to the US as per a trade deal that will
take place."

"Which means someone in my government is also involved," Claude
added. Lois nodded.

"The Vice President is in Lex's pocket. Jimmy is still working
on digging up enough proof to indict him, but it won't be easy,
especially if the current President is --"

"We also know his alias," Clark pointed out, "which might make
it easier to find a connection between him and the Vice
President."

"Good point!" Lois exclaimed. "And we know that somewhere out
there, I might have a bank account with a lot of money in it."

"That should be the easiest one to research," Clark said. "We
can make some calls later back at the apartment."

"We have to hit him where it hurts," Lois told them. She was
suddenly angry. Extremely angry. Furious. She was so tired of
feeling helpless and scared and ashamed and every other emotion
under the sun when it came to Lex Luthor. Two years ago, he had
been determined to tear down her life one good thing at a time,
and now he was trying to do it again. Not this time. Not a
chance. "We need to find the account and shut it down. Cut off
his revenue source and he won't have any leverage."

"I agree," Clark replied, his eyes intense and unreadable.
"Finding the account is a priority, but the attack could take
place at any time. How can we prevent the actual assassination?
If Superman can't track him..."

"Then we will have to rely on old-fashioned techniques," Lois
said determinedly. She had an idea. It was a dangerous idea, but
if it worked it could save the President's life. "Clark, do you
remember when Jimmy had that pen that was supposed to pick up
conversations? He got it from that spy shop? What if we got a bug
and planted it on the assassin? That way --"

"Superman doesn't have to track him," Clark finished, catching
on to her idea. "He would just be waiting for him!"

"The only problem is planting it on him," Lois said with a
small frown. "He'll know our faces. Lex would have made sure of
it."

"But he won't know mine," Claude said quietly. Both of them
turned to him in surprise. He gave a slight shrug. "I admit it,
I'm a coward. But I also know that I can't sit back and let
this happen. I didn't do the right thing the last time I was
here, but I can do it now. The President is due to make an
announcement on the progress of the talks in three days'
time."

"I'll bet money that's when Mills will make the attempt,"
Lois agreed grimly.

"Which means, we have three days to track him down." Claude
said. "Once we do, I will pretend to bump into him on the street
and plant it on his coat."

"Are you sure?" Lois found herself asking Claude. She knew what
he was risking with this offer. She'd taken that risk time and
time again.

He nodded.

"Yes, I'm sure," he replied. "My family's company...our
legacy has been dragged into this. I want to make sure he
doesn't get any more shares of Dupont Airlines. I'll plant the
bug. You make sure that Superman is there to take him down."

"That just leaves the Vice President and Luthor's connection to
him," Clark said, giving Claude a terse nod. Lois could swear
she saw a grudging respect in her fiance's eyes. "We need proof
he's in his pocket or Luthor will just find some other way
out."

"Divide and conquer," Lois decided. She looked over at Claude.
"Clark and I will go back to my place and find this account. You
work on tracking down Preston Mills' current location, and we
will need to fully loop Jimmy in on this because he can dig
further into any dealings that the Vice President might have had
with Rex Alexander."

"I'll call if we find anything," Claude offered. Lois smiled
and nodded, trying not to appear as tired as she felt.

"Sounds like a plan," Clark replied, his shoulders relaxing
ever so slightly. She stood up and reached for his hand.

"Come on," she said softly, "let's go home."

***

Chapter 18

Lois didn't feel as if she was truly able to exhale until they
were safely back inside her apartment. If she'd been asked to
describe what she was feeling, she'd have been hard-pressed to
do so -- something she'd told Clark when he'd checked in on her
in the car. She wanted to talk -- and she would, but right now
she needed to focus on the task at hand. Clark had thankfully
accepted that answer and no more was said.

They changed quickly out of their work clothes and Clark
immediately went to work by grabbing her phonebook and using his
super speed to find every bank in Metropolis that wasn't
Metropolis Savings and Loan -- Lois' bank.

He wrote them down on a piece of paper, while Lois grabbed a
bottle of wine and poured two glasses.

It was hard to believe that this morning they'd been so
emotionally intimate with one another. Now that intimacy felt
like it was a mile away, replaced instead by a numb sense of
dread that she could only keep at bay by the act of doing
something. In this case, pouring wine and phoning banks to find
out if she had an account hidden somewhere with an unknown sum of
money in it.

She suppressed a shudder at the idea that Lex had somehow managed
to get her to sign a document like that without her knowledge. If
he could get away with that, what else had she signed? How could
she be so naive?

She felt Clark's presence behind her before he wrapped his arms
around her and placed a gentle kiss on her neck. She leaned into
his arms, closing her eyes briefly while she got lost in the
feeling of his body enveloping hers. Though he'd saved her life
more times than she could count, it was at these moments when she
felt the safest -- the most protected.

Still, today even the feeling of his body fully sheltering her
couldn't stop the tightness in her chest. She felt brittle and
fragile -- like glass that could shatter at any moment.

"You okay?" His voice was a soft murmur against her skin.

"Yeah," she said, though her voice shook ever so slightly,
betraying the storm of emotions that seemed to swirl within her.
She was trying so hard to keep it together, but didn't seem to
be doing a very good job of it. "I was just wondering what else
Lex might have gotten me to sign while I..."

She couldn't finish the sentence. A dam seemed to break inside
her and she pitched forward with a shuddering sob. Clark caught
her and turned her towards him, folding her into his arms as she
shook against him.

She could hear him speaking to her -- gentle words of comfort
that she couldn't make out but knew the meaning of. He was here.
She was safe. Her shoulders shook as she cried, riding out the
wave of emotion that surged through her. It felt like she was
grieving, though for what reason she wasn't sure.

The woman she'd once been? The innocence that was taken from
her? The way Lex continued to violate her even though he was
locked away? All of the above? She didn't know. All she knew was
that Clark was safe. He was her anchor in the storm and she could
hold onto him until the world seemed right again. And that was
all she needed to know as her tears eventually subsided and she
sagged against him, spent from emotion and exhaustion.

After a few moments of silence, Clark gently lifted her into his
arms and carried her over to the couch. Though not especially
comfortable as a piece of furniture, right now that couch was the
only place in the world she wanted to be. Because it was where he
was. His presence made everything better...made her world
better.

It was a profound realisation to come to. She'd always thought
she was better off not needing anyone in her life. Disappointment
after bitter disappointment had convinced her that the only
person she could trust was herself. And she'd clung to that,
even as Clark broke down each and every one of her defences with
his quiet patience and steadfast determination. He didn't need
her to be perfect, and she realised now she wouldn't disappoint
him. He wasn't like the others who only wanted to take from
her.

Clark only wanted to give. And right now, he understood what she
needed and gave without hesitation or thought. And now she knew
it was okay to need someone. It wasn't weakness. Clark was her
strength. He gave her his when her own was in short supply. And
she needed him.

He placed a gentle kiss on the top of her head as she curled up
against him, clutching his sweater, now wet with her tears. She
gave a sniffling laugh as he lifted her head to look at him.

"You might need to change," she told him with a watery smile.
"I...soaked your sweater."

"It's just a sweater," he replied, his voice warm and gentle.
"It felt like you...needed that."

"I did," she admitted. It was something she would have found
difficult a year ago -- admitting that she was human -- just as
prone to weakness as anyone else. But now it felt good to say to
someone else that she was hurting. "I feel like I've needed it
for two years now. I don't think I've ever really thought about
all the things he took from me. I guess I locked it all up in a
box marked the past, put some duct tape over it and thought that
was enough."

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked, his deep brown eyes
offering nothing but understanding and empathy. To this day, it
still surprised her that he seemed to bear no grudge. After
everything that happened, his love had not wavered. Not one
inch.

"Yes," she said, surprising herself. "And...no. I mean what
would it accomplish?"

"It might make you feel better," he pointed out. "Or help you
to forgive yourself."

"Forgive myself?" she echoed, confused by his wording. "What
do you mean? He's the one who --"

"Lex Luthor is evil personified," Clark agreed and there was a
hard edge to his voice. "There's nobody else on this planet
that I think could drive me to real violence, but...I don't
think that's why you're hurting. I think you're angry at
yourself for being drawn in. For being a victim."

"I..." She tried to speak but the words she wanted wouldn't
leave her lips. A wave washed over her as the truth of his words
sunk in. He was right. Fresh tears threatened all over again and
she fought to keep them at bay. "I don't know how to. Forgive
myself, I mean. I don't know how you have managed to forgive me.
After all that happened."

"It's simple. There was nothing to forgive," he said gently.
"At least, not to me. Lois, if you want blame or judgement or
for me to hold a grudge, I can't give you that. All you'll get
from me is my love and my respect. You've had it from day one
and nothing can take that. Especially not him."

"I just feel like that was a different woman, you know? Like he
did something to me...hypnotised me or mind melded me or
something. I keep thinking I would *never* agree to marry someone
like that, but...I did. That was me." She shook her head and
wiped a stray tear that had escaped down her cheek.

"He* did* do something to you," Clark said quietly. "He
manipulated you. He lied to you. He pulled a rug out from under
you, turned your world upside down and stripped away everything
that mattered to you piece by piece. It was methodical and it was
evil, but it wasn't your fault."

"I know. I've told myself that a hundred times, and yet..."
She looked down at her hands, feeling raw and exposed. Her voice
was quiet and small. "I guess...I guess I'm just not that
strong."

The instant those words left her lips, his hands were cupping her
face, and drawing her gaze to him, his thumb softly caressing her
cheek as he did so.

"Lois, you are the strongest woman I have ever met," he said
fervently. "You stood at that altar, having lost everything that
mattered and with hundreds of people watching you and told him
you couldn't marry him. That takes tremendous strength and
courage."

She gave a self-deprecating, half-hearted laugh. "Says the man
who can lift space shuttles into orbit."

"Strength is more than just being able to lift buildings," he
reminded her.

"I know...and you're right. It's just..." she trailed off,
not even sure what she wanted to say.

He shook his head and briefly looked away, his hands dropping to
his sides. He was quiet for a moment before he spoke again.

"I only wish I was that strong." His words were laced with
regret and for the first time she saw shame in his expression.
"You were all alone. I said I was your friend, and when you
needed me the most, I left you alone. I was hurt, but that was no
excuse."

"Clark you didn't --"

"Yes, I did," he said sharply, though she knew he wasn't angry
with her. "And I have to live with that. But don't you ever
tell me you aren't strong. I know differently."

She nodded, and reached out to touch his face the same way he'd
done for her.

"You'll get no blame or judgement from me either," she
whispered. "There's no room for that between us. Deal?"

He gave a soft smile.

"Deal."

She gave him a gentle kiss on the cheek and they sat quietly for
a few minutes. She turned their conversation over and over in her
head as they did so. She hadn't realised that Clark had
harboured so much anger towards himself for not intervening with
Lex. Nor had she ever really thought of her refusal to marry him
at the last moment as an act of strength. She'd always felt that
moment had come at her absolute weakest moment and yet, he was
right. Lex had done a lot of things, but he hadn't broken her.
She hadn't let him. Maybe that was the beginning towards finding
that forgiveness that had eluded her for so long.

Eventually, she spoke, her words invading the silence.

"I guess I thought of strength as something you always have with
you...like the Superman suit." She reached for his hands and
took them in hers. "But the suit comes off. So maybe strength is
something that you reach for when you need it the most. Like I
reach for you and you reach for me."

Clark nodded. "Being with you is stronger than me alone,
remember?"

"I do," she replied. "And I think now that being strong might
mean having to do some hard things."

"Like what?"

She closed her eyes, feeling calmer as she thought of the next
steps.

"Face my fears and be vulnerable," she said with a soft
chuckle. "It's never been my strong suit, I know. But with us
practising moving in together and the talk we had this morning, I
feel like it's finally possible to be really honest with myself
and to stop being afraid. Forgiving myself...it's not going to
happen overnight. It's going to take some time, but I need to
take the first step. I think I'm going to make another
appointment with Doctor Friskin once this is finished with
Lex."

He gazed at her for a moment, his eyes shining with a love so
strong it almost blinded her with its power. Eventually, he
leaned forward, his lips barely grazing hers but sending a
powerful shiver throughout her entire body.

"See? Stronger than Superman for sure." He kissed her again --
a kiss that was longer and full of reverence. "I love you."

"I love you, too," she said. And somehow, even though they
weren't married yet, their words felt like a vow.

***

Chapter 19

Although they both knew that calling banks was a top priority,
Clark insisted they take some time before diving into things.
Lois was only too happy to oblige, still feeling emotionally raw
and exhausted from everything that had happened. Instead, he'd
carried her into the bedroom, and -- despite the fact that it was
only two in the afternoon -- pulled the covers back and folded
her into his arms.

He gently kissed the top of her head and stroked her hair as she
drifted off to sleep, the soothing sound of his heartbeat helping
her to sink into peaceful oblivion.

She woke to the feeling of Clark's arms cocooning her in warmth
and her stomach growling insistently. She sat up, rubbing at the
last vestiges of sleep as her mind went from foggy to clear.

She didn't often nap during the day, but when she did it took a
while for her to get her bearings again. She yawned and looked
over at Clark, who had also sat up and was now staring at her
with a bemused and loving expression on his face.

"Hey, sleepyhead," he said softly.

"Hey, yourself," she replied, loving the fact that he was here
to wake up to, not just when she napped but all the time. "How
long did I sleep?"

"A couple hours," he told her. Her eyes glanced over to the
clock and she noticed the time.

"Clark, it's after five!" she exclaimed in surprise. "We have
work to do. Why didn't you wake me?"

"You looked like you needed the sleep," was his gentle reply.
"I...just didn't have the heart."

She wanted to be irritated with him. After all, Lex was a serious
threat and time was running out. Just one look at him, however,
rendered her completely unable to feel anything but love. The
look on his face told her that he would always put her first --
no matter what the danger. His love continued to take her breath
away.

"I suppose we can call the banks tomorrow," she relented with a
sigh as she slid out of bed and stretched. Her stomach rumbled
again, and Clark chuckled.

"I don't think we can do anything without eating first," he
said with a grin.

"I guess I am a little hungry," she admitted, realising that
neither one of them had eaten since breakfast.

"I could make something," he offered. "Or, if you're too
hungry to wait, I could just..." he made a flying gesture to
which Lois nodded vigorously.

"Yes, please," she said. "I feel like your cooking would be
lost on me tonight anyway. I'm all out of sorts."

"Any preferences?" he asked, making his way over to her, and
running his hand gently down the side of her face. Her body
instinctually reacted to his touch.

"You pick," she replied, resting her forehead against his chest
and enjoying the scent of him. "I'm not in the right headspace
for decisions tonight."

He wrapped his arms tightly around her and kissed the top of her
head gently.

"I'll be quick," he promised as he stepped back, spun into the
suit and flew out the window. She had only just begun to set the
table when he zipped back in, laid the food out on the table
along with drinks and utensils and spun back into a t-shirt and a
pair of sweatpants.

The food smelled amazing. He'd brought back some kind of Indian
curry with what seemed to be freshly baked naan bread. Her mouth
watered as she sat down at the table.

"Where on Earth did you...no, wait, silly question." She
flashed him a grin. "You never cease to amaze me."

"That's the plan," he replied. His tone was light but his eyes
were serious. She was about to respond, when another gurgle from
her stomach told her enough was enough. Making eye contact, they
both laughed before eagerly digging into their food. Lois was
ravenous as she ate. The food was incredible, and she and Clark
managed to make light conversation -- something she hadn't
thought herself capable of after everything that had happened.

Eventually, the food was finished and dishes and take-out cartons
were put away. Lois watched as Clark immediately began to wash
the few dishes they had used, using his heat vision to dry them.
Without thinking, she walked up behind him as he was setting the
last plate in the drying rack and wrapped her arms around his
solid torso. She placed a kiss on the back of his shoulder, not
being tall enough to reach anything else. The gesture caused him
to pause and turn around, capturing her lips in a kiss that
surprised both of them.

She gasped as he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her
against him, deepening the kiss as he did so. His hands clutched
her hips and then made their way around to the small of her back
settling just underneath her shirt against her bare skin. His
touch caused her to gasp against his lips and she felt a flicker
of heat coil in her lower stomach.

They stumbled backwards together towards the couch as his lips
captured hers over and over in increasingly passionate kisses.
Her entire body seemed to come alive, and she found herself
needing to touch him. Her hands found their way under his t-shirt
and up the expanse of his back as his tongue swept through her
mouth, effortlessly causing heat to spread to all the pleasure
points in her body.

They reached the couch and Lois urged him towards it. He took the
hint and sat down, pulling her into his lap. She broke the kiss
briefly, and placed her hands against his chest. Something about
the way his skin seemed to jump whenever she touched him or the
way his breathing sped up every time she shifted in his lap made
her feel powerful and alive.

She remembered their conversation from earlier that morning now
in all too vivid detail. She remembered his request and the way
he'd made her feel with just a look -- desired, cherished, and
sexy. He was giving her that same look now -- and it had the same
effect as before.

"Lois," he said tightly. A muscle worked in his jaw and she
noticed for the first time just how hard he was trying to
maintain control. "You're driving me crazy right now."

"The feeling is mutual," she replied, her voice foreign to her
own ears as her hands continued questing and she shifted slightly
against his hips again.

His hands were still by his side where they had been ever since
he'd pulled her into his lap. Every now and then he would lift
them as if to touch her, then place them back on the couch.

"If you keep doing that --" he started to say, but was
interrupted as Lois leaned forward to kiss him deeply and
soundly, making sure that her tongue teased his in a way that
left no room for doubt as to how he was making her feel.

"You were saying?" she said innocently as she pulled back from
him. His hands were suddenly on her hips now, and she could tell
just how much he wanted her.

"I was saying if you keep doing that, I'm not going to be able
to stop," he admitted, his eyes intense as he fought for breath.
"And we weren't going to...do this yet, right? I mean, this
morning..."

He was right. She knew he was right. She wanted to take things
slow and get to know each other's bodies the way they had agreed
to. But it was just so easy to get carried away. And she wasn't
sure she wanted to stop this time. Not completely.

"This morning you made a promise to me," she said, shocked by
how sultry she sounded. "Does the offer still stand?"

She could read his every thought and desire in those brown eyes
and yet he hesitated.

"I want to," he told her, his voice rough with need. "But I'm
worried that now might not be the right time. Today was rough and
I --"

"Today was rough," she agreed as she moved off of him
reluctantly. She sat beside him, trying to get her own traitorous
body under control. "And that's part of the reason I want
you...need you."

"I get that," he told her softly. "But when I first...do this
for you, I want it to be for the right reasons, not because you
want to forget."

"That's not why I'm asking." she promised, her voice equally
serious now. "You make me feel so loved and so safe. But you
also make me feel...sexy in a way I've never felt before and I
want to feel that. Tonight brought back some memories and a lot
of fear. But being with you...there's no room for fear. And
that's what I want to hold onto. The way you love me. Please,
Clark. Will you...?"

"Yes," he rasped, turning and capturing her mouth in a deeply
possessive kiss. Before she could react, he'd already lifted her
into his arms and carried her into the bedroom.

***

Lois had never felt so loved or cherished. Sitting together on
the bed afterwards, his arms encircling her, she marvelled at the
sense of wholeness she felt when she was with him.

"You were perfect," he told her, still sounding slightly in
awe.

"So were you," she replied. He gave a self-conscious laugh and
ran a hand through his hair.

"I better, uh...go fly around for a bit," he said. "That was
intense. But after...when I come back, I mean...can I hold
you?"

"Of course...or I could...help you?" She gave him a meaningful
look and the look in his eyes told her he understood and was
barely holding it together. "After everything you've done...I
mean it doesn't seem fair for you to not..."

"Some other time," he said gently. "You don't owe me
anything."

A lump formed in her throat at his simple statement and she
fought to hold back tears. So many others she'd known had seen
love as a transaction. A give and take that had to be matched or
it meant nothing. Not Clark. He gave himself freely and with no
conditions. Were all aliens this thoughtful? Or was he this
special in more than one solar system?

"I know," she said, surprised to realise that for the first
time she genuinely didn't feel as if she needed to do this out
of obligation. She wanted to. "I just want to show you..."

"I know," he said, his voice ragged. "And believe me, I can't
wait. It's going to be all I can think of for a while. Well,
that and what we just did together. But tonight was for you. We
have time. I'll be back soon."

Lois nodded, as she understood just what it was he'd been trying
to say. She'd asked for something from him -- a beautiful memory
to replace some of the fear and self-doubt she'd been feeling
and he'd given it to her a thousand fold. He was right. There
would be time. And when that happened, she'd have the chance to
show him just how much he meant to her.

She watched as he spun into the suit and flew out the window, the
tell-tale sound of Superman breaking the sound barrier echoing in
the night. She let out a deep sigh, threw on a t-shirt when her
legs regained their strength and snuggled under the covers,
waiting for Clark to return to her as he always did.

***

Chapter 20

Lois slept well that night, which was a surprise to her. She'd
assumed that, given everything that had been stirred up during
the day, her sleep would be troubled by nightmares, and yet with
Clark's arms around her, it felt like nightmares couldn't touch
her. His arms offered nothing but peace and she was grateful for
it.

She woke before he did, which she was also grateful for. Any
other day she'd have snuggled back against Clark, or better yet,
woken him with a kiss -- something she was learning that she
really enjoyed. But this morning, she opted to slip out of his
arms, throw on a robe and pad into the kitchen where the list of
banks she needed to call awaited her.

She checked her watch and saw that said banks would not be open
for another twenty minutes, so she made herself busy by making
coffee and toast.

He couldn't help her. She'd realised that almost seconds after
she'd opened her eyes. He would want to help, of course, but he
couldn't. Still, that wouldn't stop him from trying. Clark
would insist on being right next to her while she called bank
after bank, but there was nothing he could actually *do.* He
couldn't make the calls for her.

And in realising that, she also realised that she would feel
better doing this on her own. It wasn't that she wanted to shut
Clark out -- far from it. The very thought of picking up the
phone to call the first bank on the list caused her hands to
shake. But she also knew that Clark still blamed himself for not
interceding sooner when it came to Lex. He would want to be able
to do something tangible to help her, and not being able to would
only cause him pain.

She would spare him that pain if she could a hundred times over.
And even though she knew she needed to stop punishing herself,
there was a tiny part of her that believed that making these
calls on her own constituted a form of penance. Something to
discuss with Doctor Friskin for sure. She'd like to be able to
jump up and declare that she was all fixed, but she knew she
still had a long way to go.

Starting with these phone calls. She finished the last of her
toast and coffee and glanced at the clock once more.

The banks were open.

She looked briefly towards the bedroom but didn't need super
hearing to know that Clark was still fast asleep. She wasn't
sure if the emotional overhang of yesterday's events had
affected him as well, making him really tired, but she knew she
probably wouldn't have a lot of time before he woke up.

She took a deep breath, and dialled the first number on the list
-- Metropolis Credit Union.

A perky teller answered her, letting her know her name was Angela
and inquiring as to how she could help her this morning. Lois
closed her eyes and spoke, her voice wobbling ever so slightly.

"Hello, it's Lois Lane calling. I just wanted to check the
balance of one of my accounts."

"Absolutely," Angela said, her perkiness grating on Lois'
nerves already. It was going to be a long morning if they all
sounded like this. She heard the faint sound of typing on the
other end.

"I'm sorry, Ms. Lane," she said and Lois could almost hear her
frowning. "I don't see an account under that name registered
here with us. Are you sure you have one?"

"This is Metropolis Savings and Loan is it not?" Lois asked,
playing dumb as a wave of relief washed over her. One down,
several more to go.

"No, I'm sorry, this is Metropolis Credit Union," Angeal
replied, taking the bait.

"Oh, my mistake," Lois replied, trying her best to sound like
she was embarrassed about the mix-up. "I must have called the
wrong bank. Thanks anyway."

"No problem," Angela said, the perky returning to her voice.
"You have a lovely day."

Lois hung up and dialled the number of the next bank. A very
similar conversation resulted as Lois asked to check the balance
of her account, and then feigned confusion and an honest mistake
as she was told that there was no account in her name there. She
called three more banks and had the same luck. She was almost
halfway down her list and so far nothing. She was beginning to
hope that maybe their theory had been just that -- a theory.

Calling the First Bank of New Troy, she went through the same
routine conversation, this time with a woman named Carol.
However, this time Carol didn't simply tell her that they
didn't have an account listed in her name. The typing stopped
and Carol spoke.

"I...see your account here with us Ms. Lane, but your balance is
such that I can't give it to you over the phone. I am sure you
understand with a balance this substantial, we need to see some
valid identification. You'll have to come down to the bank, and
we will be happy to help you then."

Lois said nothing. She could hardly breathe. She wasn't even
sure if she had dropped the phone receiver until Carol's voice
came through again on the other line.

"Ms. Lane? Ms. Lane, are you there?"

"Y...yes," Lois said, feeling suddenly very shaky and
lightheaded. She worried that she might pass out and reminded
herself to take slow, deep breaths. She'd found the account. It
wasn't a theory. Somehow, Lex had gotten her to sign a document
opening a bank account she knew nothing about with God only knew
how much money in it.

"Thank you," she told Carol, trying to steady herself just
enough. She now regretted her decision not to wake Clark and have
him near her while she did this. She desperately wished he was
holding her hand right now. "I'll uh...be there sometime this
afternoon."

"With an account this size, it's best I book you in for an
appointment. Mr. Carstairs, our bank manager, will personally
help you. Will noon work for you?"

"Yes, that will be fine," Lois said, her voice hollow. It was
then that Clark made his way into the kitchen, hair ruffled from
sleep but his eyes noticeably alert. His super hearing must have
caught enough of it.

"Wonderful," Carol said enthusiastically. "You'll need at
least two pieces of government identification. We will see you
then."

Lois heard the click signalling that Carol had hung up the phone
but didn't put her own receiver down until Clark gently took it
from her and placed it on the base. She hadn't even realised she
was crying until Clark reached out and gently wiped a tear from
her cheek.

"It's true," she said, her voice thick with emotion as the
tears rolled slowly down her face.

"I know," Clark replied and his voice cracked ever so slightly.
He pulled her tightly to him and she allowed his arms to wrap
around her, cocooning her while she cried softly into his chest.

This time there were no body shaking sobs like the night before.
That reaction had been born of shock and unresolved trauma. This
was different. She'd known this was a possibility -- no, a
probability, and she'd processed that at least as much as
anybody could.

But now it was confirmed and the emotions she was feeling were
less about shock and more about grief. And grief was sometimes a
much harder emotion. It ebbed and flowed like a tide. She'd been
grieving ever since she'd found herself used by Claude and
manipulated by Lex.

But time, and Clark, had helped to heal a lot of that grief, and
even as she cried, she knew this too would pass. And sure enough,
the tears eventually subsided and when they did, Clark tipped her
face up to meet hers, leaning down to kiss her.

When they parted, she drew a deep breath and squared her
shoulders.

"I take it you heard all of that?" she asked, though her voice
was not accusatory. She knew that he would never listen in on
anything truly private. He nodded.

"Not all of it, but enough to know that we have a meeting at the
bank at noon."

Lois loved the way he said 'we'. She loved the fact that she
wouldn't have to do this alone...that she would never have to do
the hard things alone again.

"I need to get dressed," she said, running a hand through her
hair. She knew she must look like a complete mess right now --
her face blotchy from crying, and her hair not brushed. Clark
must have read her mind because he leaned towards her one more
and claimed her lips in a deep searching kiss that left her
breathless.

"You've never looked more beautiful," he murmured, his eyes
soft and serious. When he looked at her that way, she couldn't
help but believe him.

"Come on, farmboy," she said as she took his hand and dragged
him towards the bedroom, "we have some time before the meeting.
I want to spend the morning in bed with my fiance."

***

They did just that, lying in bed as long as they could, kissing
and snuggling and pretending the world outside the apartment
didn't exist. It was exactly how Lois would want to spend a day
off of work with Clark once they were married. Well, with the
addition of morning sex and the subtraction of having to deal
with the fall out of her near-marriage to a psychopath.

Eventually, the real world did intrude, however, and Lois found
herself reluctantly getting out of bed, showering and putting on
her most expensive looking business suit. She didn't know
exactly how much money was in this account, but knowing Lex, it
was likely an obscene amount. She would need to look the part as
much as possible.

Not that there was any possibility that these people wouldn't
know who she was. Lex's death and subsequent rise from the dead
had been headline fodder for the last three years. Add to that
her own personal standing in Metropolis as the other half of
'Lane and Kent', and no doubt Carol was gossiping to all her
friends at the bank about who was finally coming in to check on
her account after three years of nothing.

She had to look as if she knew exactly how much money was in
there even if she didn't. Lex no doubt had people working for
him in that bank, and so she had to assume the news of her visit
would get back to him somehow. If it did, she wanted him to think
she hadn't been the slightest bit intimidated by him.

She was quiet as they drove to the bank, focusing on the road
rather than on the destination. There was so much they didn't
know and so much she was uncertain about. Eventually, when they
arrived and Lois had parked, Clark took her hand and gave it a
short squeeze.

"It's going to be okay," he reassured her. "He can't get to
you and I am right here."

"I'm not worried about that," Lois replied, her mouth set in a
grim line. "If anything, I am looking forward to how angry this
will make him. This will shake him up...scare him. I want him to
be afraid."

"Lois..."

"I won't do anything reckless, if that's what you're worried
about," she replied, knowing that would likely be his primary
fear which was, to be fair, more than a little warranted. "In
fact, I'm not sure what I'll do...with the money I mean. We
haven't really talked about it yet. All I know is, regardless of
the amount, I don't want to keep it."

"I agree," he said grimly. "No amount is worth the blood that
money is steeped in."

"But that still leaves the question of what to do with it," she
said, frustration lacing her words. "Lex will have spies in that
bank reporting back to him. Whatever we do, I don't want him to
be able to access it."

"So, we transfer it to your account," Clark suggested, "your
*real* account. Withdraw it from this bank completely. That way
he won't know what's being done with it. You want to scare him?
That will do it. We can figure out what to do with it once it's
safe in your account."

"Yes," Lois agreed, getting out of the car and taking one last
glance at herself in the mirror. "Let's make him think he's
lost it all."

The bank employees seemed to fall all over themselves the moment
Lois and Clark walked through the door. It was all 'yes, Miss
Lane' and 'would you like a water with lemon, Miss Lane'.
Briefly, Lois wondered if this was what it was like to be a
celebrity. She was used to a certain degree of notoriety given
their job and the fact that she had a close public friendship
with Superman, but this behaviour was on another level entirely
and it made her skin crawl.

They were instructed by a young woman in her early twenties by
the name of Tara to follow her, and the two of them were shown to
an extremely plush office where a man wearing a suit that would
easily have cost Lois two months' salary waited for them.

The moment they walked through the door he gestured for them to
be seated in two extremely plush leather chairs and closed the
door behind them. Two glasses of lemon water sat on the desk
despite both of them having declined the offer.

"Lois Lane, such a pleasure to meet you," the man said, with a
smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. Lois noticed his
nameplate read *Richard Carstairs*. Lois wasn't sure why but
something in her gut told her that this was Lex's man on the
inside -- or at least one of them. There could easily be more.
Mr. Carstairs looked at Clark and reached out a hand, though Lois
noted he wasn't as eager to shake it. "And you must be the
other half of Lane and Kent. Pleasure to meet you both. I'm
Richard Carstairs. What can I do for you today?"

Lois took a deep breath and reminded herself to sound as cool and
detached as possible. She was at the bank inquiring about an
account. That was all.

"I was hoping to learn the present balance of my account," she
said smoothly, meeting Mr. Carstairs' gaze directly. *Go ahead
and tell him,* she thought to herself.

"Ahh, yes," Mr. Carstairs said and he sounded a bit nervous.
One look at Clark confirmed her assumption. He would likely
notice the man's change in heart rate after all. "We can
absolutely do that for you. We, of course, will need to see two
pieces of identification as well as authenticate your signature.
With an account this size, I'm sure you can appreciate the
precautions necessary to keeping it safe. Especially, given that
this is the first time you've come to...check on it."

And there it was. The tell-tale sign of a spy. Lois smiled,
feeling her confidence grow by the moment as she fished her
driver's licence and passport out of her wallet. She handed them
over to Mr. Carstairs.

"Absolutely," she said brightly. She could feel Clark's eyes
boring into her. He'd been surprisingly quiet, but she
appreciated him letting her take the lead. "You can't be too
careful in Metropolis, after all. I hope this is sufficient."

"Quite," Mr. Carstairs said, clearly uncomfortable now. He
handed her a document that Lois realised was the original
paperwork she'd signed to open the account. She fought down the
urge to be sick and kept the smile plastered to her face. Mr.
Carstairs placed a blank piece of paper beside the original
paperwork. "I'll also need you to sign your name on that sheet
of paper so we can ensure the signatures match."

"Is that...really necessary?" Clark asked with a slight frown.
She could hear the suspicion in his voice and didn't blame him.
If this man did work for Lex, he might be worried she was signing
something she wasn't aware of somehow. Anything was possible
where Lex was concerned -- even something like invisible ink.

"Unfortunately so," Mr. Carstairs said, his voice full of false
sincerity. "After all, she might look like Ms. Lane, but could
perhaps be someone else."

"True," Lois replied, her voice outwardly agreeable but with a
hard edge to it. "Why, I could be a robot, or someone with a
face that looks like mine or even a clone."

She signed the blank paper with a flourish and slid it back
towards Mr. Carstairs, never breaking eye contact.

"Excellent," Mr. Carstairs replied, his voice becoming even
more silky and fake with every hurdle she overcame. "Now, if you
don't mind, there's only one final requirement. If you'll
recall when you originally set up this account, you created a
personal six digit passcode for extra security. I'll just need
you to tell me what that passcode is before we can proceed."

"This is getting a bit ridiculous," Clark said, sounding more
than a little irritated. Neither one of them had counted on Lex
setting up a secret passcode, after all. She gave him a
meaningful look, her heart feeling like lead as she spoke.

"It's okay, Clark," she said softly. She looked at Mr.
Carstairs. "The passcode is 050894."

Mr. Carstairs' face fell and Lois knew immediately she'd gotten
it right, though she wished she hadn't. For all his evil, Lex
was predictable in many ways, so it was no surprise that he'd
chosen their wedding date for her passcode. Clark obviously
understood the significance of the date as well because she
noticed his expression darken considerably.

She suddenly felt tired. Tired of holding herself together and
angry that Clark had to witness yet another reminder that she'd
almost married a monster. She was irritated with this song and
dance, especially since they both knew it would result in her
getting exactly what she wanted. He had no reason not to allow
her to see the balance and zero excuses left with which to delay
it.

He must have known that as well because he nodded reluctantly and
stood up.

"If you'll excuse me, I will go and retrieve the most current
statement for this account."

He left the room and Lois felt her shoulders sag. Clark placed
his hand gently on the back of her neck and gave it a gentle
massage. Neither one of them said anything until Richard
Carstairs returned with a piece of paper that he handed to her,
his fake smile now replaced with a worried grimace.

"Your statement as requested, Miss Lane."

Lois looked down at the amount and had to refrain from gasping
aloud when she saw the number. Two hundred million dollars. It
might as well have said a bazillion. She had no frame of
reference for that sort of money. She'd expected it to be high
but this...

She took a few deep breaths before looking back up at Mr.
Carstairs who had a slightly smug smile on his face -- as if
he'd enjoyed the jolt to her equilibrium. She tried not to let
her voice shake as she spoke her next words -- words that would
effectively wipe the smile off his face for good.

"I would like to withdraw all the money from this account and
close it."

"I see." Mr. Carstairs' voice was now as cold as ice. All
pretext and civility was gone now. "And might I ask why?"

"I have another account with a different bank," Lois replied,
feeling bolstered by the fact that she seemed to have made this
man nervous. If he was nervous, Lex would be furious. "I don't
see any reason to have two accounts and two different banks, and
so I wish to consolidate them. I plan to deposit this money into
my other account."

"With all due respect, Miss Lane, we've kept this money safe
for three years now with no...problems. Why not simply close the
account at your other bank?"

"Mr. Carstairs," Lois said, leaning forward and pretending to
take him into her confidence. "I'm sure you are aware that I
set this account up while engaged to be married to Lex Luthor,
who as we all know turned out to be a soulless killer. I regret
ever having anything to do with him and want to disassociate
myself from his legacy completely, which means concluding my
business with your bank. I am sure you understand."

"Yes," he replied softly. "I understand."

Lois could see by the look in his eyes that he did, and felt a
thrill of satisfaction at the fact that this conversation would
definitely get back to Lex verbatim and he would be helpless to
prevent it.

"How long will it take?" Clark asked, gesturing to the account
statement in front of them. "To get the money moved, I mean."

"Well, it will take some time," Mr. Carstairs replied, looking
flustered. "This kind of money can't be moved in a day, you
understand."

"I understand," Lois replied. Then, inspired by an idea, she
reached into her purse and pulled out a card from her wallet,
handing it over to him.

"What's this?" Mr. Carstairs asked as he took it from her
hand.

"My attorney's card," Lois replied smoothly. "I will be
informing him that we wish to proceed with the closure of this
account and the transfer of funds to my current bank. He will be
involved on my behalf in order to ensure that this happens as
quickly as possible. But I'm sure it won't be necessary.
You've been nothing but co-operative, Mr. Carstairs."

"You have a lovely day, Miss Lane," Richard Carstairs replied
with a sour expression on his face. He stood up and walked
towards the door, opening it for them to leave. She stood up,
followed by Clark and headed for the door, resisting the urge to
sprint all the way to the parking lot.

She noticed he left the card on the table as they passed Mr.
Carstairs.

"We'll be in touch," Clark promised.

The moment they were outside, Lois felt her entire body threaten
to collapse in on itself. They made it back to the car and Lois
sank into the driver's seat. Her legs felt numb and her hands
shook. She worried she might pass out, so she took a few deep
breaths, her face in her hands as she attempted to regain
control.

"Are you okay?" Clark asked. Then, before she could respond, he
gave a bitter laugh. "Of course, you're not. What a stupid
question."

"I'm..." she wanted to say 'okay' but the words wouldn't
leave her lips. "I don't know what I am. Two hundred million
dollars, Clark! How can I...what on Earth are we going to do with
that kind of money? How can we even..."

"One thing at a time," he said gently. His hand was rubbing
gentle circles on her back and she could feel the rhythm of it
calming her down. "First, we need to get that money out of that
bank and into your account. That thing with the lawyer was
inspired by the way. I didn't know you even had a lawyer."

"I don't," she admitted. "Not officially, I mean. The card
was a friend's from college who went into financial law. He gave
it to me in case of a rainy day."

"You'd better call him when we get back to your apartment,"
Clark replied. "I'd say it's pouring now."

"I think we should stop at the *Planet* first. Claude said he
would be there with Jimmy, working to track down Preston Mills
and digging up dirt on the Vice President." Lois felt that the
pieces were coming together, but a small part of her was still
worried. Lex always had something up his sleeve, after all. "I
want to update them."

"We've cut off his revenue stream, which means he won't be
able to pay off a lot of his loyal supporters," Clark pointed
out. "He's going to want revenge. He might even send Mills
after you before he goes for the President."

"Then it's a good thing I have you by my side, isn't it?"

"Always," he promised.

***

Chapter 21

Lois and Clark found themselves nearly being run over by Jimmy
and Claude as they made their way into the bullpen. Both of them
looked excited, which caused Lois' pulse to speed up a little.

"Oh good, CK! Lois! We were just about to call you. That Mills
guy you were looking for? We found him!" Jimmy thrust a piece of
printer paper at Lois with the address of an apartment in an
extremely wealthy area of the city on it.

"Pretty fancy digs for a guy who just got out of prison," Clark
muttered. Lois could tell he was still bothered by the situation
at the bank, and while she couldn't blame him, part of her
hadn't felt this good about things in a while. Lex was still in
prison, and now they finally had a plan to keep him there for
good.

Not to mention the fact that she was about to cost him two
hundred million dollars. That part felt very very good.

"I think his accommodations are going to become a little more
modest pretty soon," Lois reminded him. She looked at Claude and
Jimmy. "Did you get the bug?"

Jimmy nodded and raced over to his desk. When he returned, he
handed Lois the small surveillance device.

"It was the best they had," he assured them. "Top of the line.
And it comes with this electronic handset so you will be able to
track his whereabouts."

"Thanks Jimmy," Clark said, setting the handset down. He looked
at Claude and Lois was surprised to see a look of understanding
pass between the two men. Though Clark might not like him, he
recognised what Claude was about to do and respected it. "Are
you ready?"

"As I can be," Claude replied. He sounded nervous and Lois
reminded herself that he made his living covering soft news
events like sporting events and political conferences. He wasn't
used to doing anything even remotely dangerous, so she had to be
grateful he was even willing to try.

"It's not difficult at all," Lois said, stepping towards
Claude. She showed him the bug in the flat of her palm and picked
it up between her fingers. "Stand over there."

He did as instructed, moving a few feet out of the way to a spot
where there weren't any people. Lois walked towards him making a
point of bumping into him ever so slightly as she passed. When
she returned to Clark, she picked up the handset and turned it
on, giving Clark a triumphant smile.

"It works!"

"How did you...?" Claude sounded slightly amazed and looked
down, trying to find where Lois had planted the bug on him.

"Feel inside your jacket pocket," she told him. He did and
looked even more astonished when he pulled out the bug.

"I'm not sure I can do that," he admitted, heading back over
and sitting down on the top of her desk.

"It will take practice," Lois assured him, "but you'll get
it. Jimmy can help you. He's the one who showed me how to do it.
You want to make sure you get his jacket."

"Why the jacket?" Claude wondered.

"He's more likely to wear a jacket more than once," Clark
supplied. "We will keep a constant watch on him once the bug is
on him. He will likely do some preliminary surveillance of the
spot he will use for the actual assassination, so that even if he
wears a different jacket the day of, we should know roughly where
he is going to be."

"That makes sense," Claude replied, still looking a bit
overwhelmed. "I'm going to need some time to...do we have to do
this today?"

"Not today, but soon," Lois said, realising that their time was
very quickly running out.

"We need to be able to get a sense of his patterns. Jimmy,
how's the research on Vice President Wilson going?"

"Things are starting to come together," Jimmy replied. "Ever
since you gave us that name Rex Alexander, we've been able to
tie the Vice President to at least several of his companies via
what looks to be substantial campaign donations in return for
several bills being pushed through that allowed for these
companies to do all sorts of things from buying up land to tax
evasion and everything in between. A little more digging and we
should be able to....holy crap."

Jimmy stopped, looking suddenly very much like a deer in
headlights. He sank down into a nearby chair and ran a hand
through his perpetually floppy hair.

"Jimmy, what is it?" Clark asked, concerned. "Are you
alright?"

He shook his head and looked just a tiny bit paler.

"Yeah, I'm fine, I just...is my research about to help expose
the Vice President of the United States as a criminal?"

"You bet," Lois replied firmly. Normally, something like this
would have excited her. After all, a story this big could mean
the long elusive Pulitzer Prize. And if the story were about
anything else, she would be buzzing with energy. But Lex Luthor
was tied to this, and Lois didn't want to win a free cappuccino
if he was involved, much less the award that represented
everything she'd worked so hard to achieve. She didn't want him
to taint that too.

"Oh God, I think I need to sit down," Jimmy was saying, still
looking a bit green around the gills.

"You are sitting down," Claude pointed out.

"Oh good," Jimmy said with a weak smile. "Good for me."

Lois didn't blame him for feeling that way. The first time
she'd worked a story this major, it had been the one Claude had
stolen. She remembered the feeling of adrenaline as well as fear
that accompanied a responsibility as huge as reporting the facts
accurately and objectively. She'd worried she wouldn't be up to
the task -- that she'd miss something major and end up
embarrassing the *Planet*. In hindsight, she almost wished she
had.

She glanced at Claude out of the corner of her eye, realising for
the first time that she needed to do something to correct what
had taken place. Claude's apology could only go so far. Clark
was right that this was about more than just a stolen story. It
had taken watching Jimmy almost hyperventilate from
responsibility for her to see that.

But she would have to let it wait until after the President was
safe from harm and Lex was certain to remain behind bars for the
rest of his days. After that, she would deal with it.

"Clark and I have some other things to take care of," Lois said
to Jimmy and Claude. Clark raised his eyebrow but said nothing.
"Jimmy, can you teach Claude how to plant the bug on Mills
without him knowing?"

"Yeah, sure," Jimmy replied, recovering a bit of his colour.
Lois smiled. She knew how Jimmy operated, and giving him a
smaller task was sure to take his mind off of the larger
implications of what they were doing. "No problem."

"Good," Lois said with a nod. She looked at Claude, who
suddenly also looked a bit green around the gills. "The sooner
we get this done, the better, so if you think you can be ready to
go by tomorrow..."

"I'll do my best," he promised.

"We'll see you tomorrow then," Clark said as Lois grabbed her
keys and the two of them began to leave. As they headed towards
the elevator, he leaned over and whispered in her ear in a way
that made her pulse race despite everything else going on. "What
other things do we have to do today, by the way?"

"You'll see," she replied with a small smile.

***

Once back inside the apartment, Lois headed straight to the
bedroom to change into a more comfortable t-shirt and pair of
jeans. Clark followed and she realised she liked the way he
watched her intently as she stripped down to her underwear and
bra to put on the fresh change of clothes.

She eyed the business suit she'd worn to the bank with a frown,
half-tempted to burn the thing. She'd never be able to wear it
again without remembering that she'd sat across from that
horrible man who worked for Lex Luthor in it.

She pushed the thought aside for the time being and glanced back
at Clark, who was still looking at her rather hungrily. She loved
the way he could make her feel like the sexiest woman in the
world with just a look.

"Are you going to change?" she asked him, surprised at the way
she'd seemed to purr the words. "Or did you just come in here
to watch?"

"I was going to," he said, his own voice deepening slightly.
She could tell he was having an effect on him already and she
loved it. "But the view was just too captivating."

"Is that so?" she said, making her way towards him, allowing
her hips to sway ever so slightly. Though subtle, it caused him
to shift his stance in such a way that told her her movement had
done the job. When she was close enough, she reached out and
grabbed his tie, using it to pull him to her for a deep, searing
kiss that seemed to wake up all her senses.

Clark wasted no time, pulling her into his arms and deepening the
kiss, their tongues exploring each other thoroughly, causing that
familiar tension she'd come to love. She allowed herself to moan
into his kiss.

"See what you do to me?" he whispered, his warm breath tickling
her ear and causing her breath to come in shallow pants. This
wasn't how things were supposed to go. She had a plan. She'd
intended to kiss him and then...

"Oh God, Clark, that feels so good," she breathed as his lips
made their way down to her collar bone. He'd gotten more
confident since the night before...more sure of himself and of
the way their bodies interacted with each other. It was beyond
sexy and might be her undoing if she didn't regain control.

"You like that?" he asked, his voice husky and filled with
need. Slowly, reluctantly, she stepped back from him. He looked
up, with a slightly dazed expression.

"I liked it," she promised him, fighting for control of her
voice, which at the moment was tremulous and shaky. "I liked it
way too much. I wanted...well, I wanted to come back here
and..."

God, why couldn't she say it?

It didn't seem to matter, though, because the look on his face
told her he understood her intentions very clearly. So much so
that she watched him take two deep breaths while clenching and
unclenching his fists in an attempt to bring himself back under
control.

"Lois, I told you last night you don't have to --"

"I know," she said, interrupting him. "But that was last
night. I realised something at the *Planet* today, Clark.
Something you tried to tell me but I wasn't ready to hear
yet."

"Oh?" He took a step closer. "What's that?"

"That I need to tell Perry about Claude stealing my story," she
replied softly. "I didn't fully realise myself why it mattered
until I saw Jimmy almost pass out today, but...truth matters and
the way we handle it does too. I can't be afraid to speak up for
myself anymore. What we do is too important. So, I...I wanted to
thank you."

Clark shifted uncomfortably and made his way over to the bed
where he sat down letting out a slow breath.

"Uhh, I appreciate that, Lois, but..." he shook his head
slightly, "I can't believe I'm saying this...I don't want you
to feel like you owe me any sort of physical intimacy for --"

"I don't," she said as she sat down next to him on the bed and
took his hand in hers. "Feel like I owe you, I mean. I've never
felt that way. That's the point."

"I'm afraid I don't follow," Clark said, looking so adorably
confused that Lois had to refrain from kissing him until he
couldn't think straight anymore.

"You've never pressured me, Clark," she told him gently,
squeezing his hand. "And I don't just mean sexually. It's no
secret when we first met that I had all my defences up. I'd been
hurt so much before you, that I just stopped trusting people
entirely. And even though you might have been aware of your
feelings before I was, you never pushed me to get there before I
was ready."

"I just...wanted to be near you," he admitted. "It wasn't
some noble plan, I just...I needed you in my life like I needed
oxygen. However that happened, I knew it would have to be
enough."

"That's exactly what I mean," Lois replied and this time she
couldn't keep herself from kissing him on the cheek. "You
supported me in whatever role I needed. You were patient. So
very, very patient. Even when I almost married...even when it
looked hopeless, you waited. You fought for me. Maybe not the way
I wanted you to, but...you never gave up."

"I couldn't give up," he murmured, cupping her face and
kissing her once more. Her heart skipped a beat at the feel of
his lips. "Oxygen, remember?"

"Will you stop being sweet for a minute and let me get this
out?" she exclaimed with a slightly tearful laugh. He laughed
too and nodded. "You've been so patient. With our relationship
both physical and emotional...with me. When we first had that
conversation about my past...federal disasters, all I could think
about were the ways in which I might potentially disappoint
you."

She could see him opening his mouth to say something, but stopped
halfway and sat back. She smiled. Even now, he understood she
needed his patience. She drew a shuddering breath.

"I was so scared," she admitted, feeling so much love for the
man in front of her it was hard to put into words. "But I know
now that it never even occurred to you to think that way. You
understood that I needed space, and you gave that to me. Just
like you gave me space when Perry told me that Claude would be
working with us."

She could see that he was starting to understand what she was
trying to tell him and felt grateful. She wanted him so badly to
know what this meant to her...what he meant to her.

"You urged me to talk to Perry about that story, but I wasn't
ready and again, you didn't push." She reached out and caressed
his face in a way he'd so often done for her. "You let me get
there in my own time. I don't think you understand just how much
that mattered to me."

"Lois..." he said gruffly, his eyes shining. "I wasn't trying
to do anything but love you."

"I know," she replied, her own emotions overwhelming her as
well, causing her to wipe a stray tear from her cheek. "That's
what's so extraordinary to me. And this whole practice situation
with us living together and with our physical intimacy, well
it's only made me love you more. We talked so many times before
this but I don't think we've truly communicated on this level
before. I honestly never even realised there were so many
different ways to communicate. And that's what I want to do. Not
because I owe you, or because I feel like I have to. Because I
want to communicate to you just how much I love you."

She stood up and positioned herself between his legs, kneeling
down so that she was just below eye level. She reached out and
guided him towards her for a gentle kiss that was full of
promise. When they parted, she knew she didn't need to spell it
out for him, which she was grateful for. She reached out and
placed her hand on his chest where his heart was, and she could
feel his heart racing under her hand.

"So, when you say communicate," he said, that hungry look
reappearing on his face, causing her own desire to flare up.
"What you mean is --"

"I mean I want to communicate to you just how much I love you,"
she said with a coy smile. She stood up just enough to lean in
and whisper her next words in his ear.

He gripped her hips with his hands tightly and pressed her body
against the warmth of his chest. His words were a gentle rumble
against her body.

"God, yes," he ground out. She leaned back and settled back on
her heels.

"Take your clothes off, Clark."

***

"That was..." Clark looked at her, and gently brushed a strand
of hair from her face. She was surprised at how comfortable she
felt with this newfound intimacy. She was acutely aware of the
fact that this should feel awkward, and yet everything about that
felt good. It felt right.

"Good?" she guessed hopefully. A look of pure wonderment and
awe passed over his face.

"I can't even begin to describe it," he said quietly, gently
running his thumb over her hand. "I mean, physically it felt
incredible, but it's more than that. I know there's still more
for us to experience together, but I think I understand now."

"Understand what?" she asked, feeling overwhelmed by the
intense look in his eyes.

"Making love," he said, his voice gruff with emotion. "I
always thought...well, there were definitions of things.
But...you and me? Whatever we do...."

"I know," she said, instantly understanding what he meant. All
the terminology in the world couldn't disguise the fact that
they were slowly discovering how to love each other in all the
right ways. "I love you too."

"Do you need me to..." he trailed off and she smiled softly,
finding it cute that even now he could still be somewhat bashful.
Lois was seeing him in a way that was both casual and for her
eyes alone. She couldn't ask for more.

"No," she replied, taking a deep breath and snuggling into the
crook of his shoulder. "I think...I think I'd like for us to
get some tea and watch a movie. Will you do that with me?"

He gave her a soft kiss on the forehead and stood up. Lois
allowed herself a beat to admire his backside for a moment.

"I'll get the tea, you get the movie?" he asked.

She nodded. "Sounds perfect."

***

Chapter 22

The following day, Lois and Clark found themselves sitting in
Lois' Jeep around the corner from an apartment building with a
very nervous Claude Dupont sitting in the back. The preliminary
research Jimmy had done on Preston Mills had revealed that he had
a meeting with his parole officer that morning, and both Lois and
Clark felt the best opportunity for Claude to plant the bug on
his jacket was now.

Claude, however, was not as optimistic.

"Do you see him yet?" he asked, fiddling nervously with the
seat belt buckle. Clark shook his head. While they had parked
close enough for all of them to see the building, Lois knew that
Clark would also be using his super vision to zoom in on his
apartment specifically. The moment he left, they would know.

"What if he's not even in there?" Claude suggested. "Maybe he
left early to get breakfast? Or stayed the night somewhere
else?"

"If you're going to back out, just say so," Lois replied,
irritated by Claude's increasing nervousness. "Jimmy can just
as easily plant the bug."

She suddenly realised that, apart from whatever residual hurt
still lingered, she was beyond grateful that she'd never had a
real relationship with Claude. His cowardice and lack of ambition
would have meant a very small life. She didn't need her partner
to be a superhero (though it helped when she ended up captured by
super villains), but she did need someone who wasn't afraid to
stand up and do what was right without hesitating.

"I'm sorry," Claude apologised, somewhat sheepishly. "I'm
fine. I'll be fine. I just have to bump into him, right? What is
that American expression...piece of pie?"

"Cake," Clark said with a slight quirk of his lips. "It's
'piece of cake'. And I think he's coming now."

Quickly, they climbed out of the Jeep and Lois handed the bug to
Claude, whose hand shook ever so slightly as he took it from her.
She pointed towards the entrance of Preston Mills' upscale
apartment building.

"Remember, all you have to do is make sure it sticks. Bump into
him, apologise, plant the bug and get back here."

Claude nodded, his face a bit pale, but determined.

"Got it," he replied. Lois and Clark watched with mild
trepidation as Claude headed towards the man they recognised as
Preston Mills as he exited the apartment building. Once he was
within a few feet of Preston, Claude pretended to trip, bumping
into him just as they had planned.

A tense exchange followed, ending with Claude making his way back
towards the Jeep. Lois looked over at Clark, not wanting to wait
until Claude was back for full confirmation.

"He got it," Clark informed her and she felt herself relax.

Claude's face had almost turned green by the time he'd finally
reached the Jeep. Lois watched as he climbed in, took a few
gulping breaths and promptly put his head between his knees.

After a moment or so, he sat back up and drew a shaky breath
before confirming what Lois already knew.

"It's done," he said. Lois shot Clark a slightly bemused
expression at the tone in Claude's voice. He sounded like a
character in a bad spy film, but given his current state of
nerves, she didn't comment on it.

Instead, they agreed to drop Claude back off at the *Planet*,
where he and Jimmy could monitor everywhere that Mills went. Once
they had done so, the two of them went back to Lois' apartment.
They had to put the second phase of their plan into action, and
they couldn't do that without making a phone call -- one Lois
would prefer not to make in the bullpen.

The moment they entered her kitchen, Lois reached into her purse
and pulled out the number of the lawyer Lois knew from college --
a man by the name of Steven Williams. She watched out of the
corner of her eye as Clark began to make the two of them a
sandwich. He was obviously letting her know that he was here for
emotional support if she needed it, but didn't want to listen in
on her conversation.

It rang a few times before a female voice answered the phone with
that same overly perky tone the bank receptionists had used.

"Steven Williams' office, Debbie speaking, how may I help
you?"

Lois introduced herself as an old friend of Steven's from
college and requested to speak with him. Debbie asked Lois to
hold for a moment and before Lois could answer, she heard a beep
and some generic soft rock song playing through the phone. She
waited, humming absently to the song until eventually Debbie
picked up again.

"Mr. Williams has an appointment in twenty minutes, but he can
talk with you until then," she informed him. "I'll patch you
through now."

Lois thanked her and waited again, thinking briefly back to
college. She didn't know Steven especially well, but they'd run
in the same circles, and he had dated one of her friends for
about a year. They had always been on good terms, and Lois was
grateful that she hadn't just tossed his card out when she'd
run into him a few months ago while working on a story.

"Lois!" Steven's open and friendly voice startled her out of
her reverie and brought her back to the present. A plate appeared
suddenly in front of her with a turkey sandwich on it and Lois'
stomach growled. Clark made a show of heading over to the couch
with his. Lois smiled appreciatively. "It's wonderful to hear
from you again so soon. How are you?"

Lois opened her mouth to say she was good or fine, or whatever
automatic reply people usually gave to that question and found
herself hesitating. She wasn't fine and that was why she was
calling. No use dancing around it.

"Honestly, Steven? I've been better," she admitted.

"So, it isn't a social call then?" he asked, sounding slightly
disappointed.

"Afraid not," Lois replied with a slight smile. Steven always
had a way about him that made everyone around him feel more at
ease. Clark had that same effect on people, Lois realised.

"And here I thought you were going to suggest we all go for
dinner so I can meet that fiance you were telling me about,"
Steven said with an exaggerated sigh. "I have to admit that I am
dying to meet the Kent half of Lane and Kent!"

"You will," Lois promised, surprised to find she really would
like to go out to dinner and introduce Clark to Steven. "But
right now I have a favour to ask you."

She was beginning to realise that she'd deliberately avoided
having a social life the past few years she'd worked at the
*Planet*. She had convinced herself that she was focused on her
work, but she knew now that wasn't true. Relationships were not
the only way a person could get hurt, and Lois had been hurt when
it came to friendships too. So much so, that over the years she
had simply closed herself off. Now she found herself wanting to
have a social life beyond the *Planet*.Of course, her timing as
usual, was lousy.

"A favour?" he echoed, sounding slightly intrigued.

"Well, I want to hire you," she amended, "so I guess that's
not a favour. But I'll warn you, you might not want the job."

"I'm a struggling attorney, Lois, I'll take any job," he said
with a laugh. "What do you need me to do?"

Lois took a deep breath and described the situation as
dispassionately as she could. Despite her best efforts, she
heard, rather than saw, Clark get up from the couch, bring his
plate to the sink and lay a reassuring hand on her shoulder as
she finished her explanation.

There was a moment's pause, and she could almost see Steven
leaning back in his desk chair and letting out a whoosh as he
tried to process it all.

"So, you need me to apply some pressure and legalese on the bank
to make sure they close the account properly, correct?"

"That," Lois said, "and keep an eye out to make sure they
don't try anything funny. I'm almost certain that the bank
manager is reporting back to Lex Luthor, and if he is, that could
make this potentially dangerous as well, so I will pay you triple
your regular rate. After all, it appears I can afford it. Still,
I can understand if you don't want to take the job."

She inwardly cringed as she spoke those words, hoping Steven
wouldn't back out. She'd already given Carstairs his card,
after all, and she suddenly felt very guilty she had endangered
him like that without his permission.

"A two hundred million dollar account, are you kidding me?"
Steven exclaimed. "I could build my career on that! Especially
given that it's Luthor's account and..."

Lois winced and though Steven couldn't see it, she heard him
trail off.

"I'm sorry," he apologised. "That was insensitive."

She almost told him it was okay, but stopped herself yet again
before simply saying. "Thank you."

"So, you've already authenticated the account, correct?"
Steven resumed.

"Yes," she replied. "They didn't seem in any hurry to release
the money, however. I would like to get a cashier's cheque as
soon as possible. I don't want Lex knowing where the money is
going, you understand."

"I'll call the bank after my next appointment and let them know
I will be visiting later today to make sure the process goes
smoothly," he promised, and Lois felt herself relax.

"Are you sure you want to take this risk, Steven?" she asked
one more time. She needed him to understand the gravity of the
situation.

"I'm sure," he promised. "After all, what are casual
acquaintances from college for?"

He gave a warm laugh before they said their goodbyes, hung up and
Lois found herself standing up and being enfolded into Clark's
arms, her sandwich untouched and forgotten.

He held her there, her head resting against his chest and his
arms cocooning her in warmth. He kissed the top of her head ever
so softly and she felt all the tension leave her body.

When she finally stepped back, she looked into Clark's warm
brown eyes and felt that familiar flutter as he smiled back at
her with both fondness and awe.

"What?" she said, slightly self-consciously as she tucked a
strand of hair behind her ear.

"Nothing, it's just...you're amazing, you know that?"

A flush filled her cheeks and she fought the urge to look away
from him. Despite her bravado and self-confidence, there were
times when Clark's praise truly took her breath away.

"For making a phone call?"

"For making a difficult phone call," Clark replied, reaching
out to caress her cheek. She shivered at his touch and leaned her
cheek against his hand. "For managing to do so many incredibly
hard things. My 'little tornado'."

He grinned at the last part and Lois gave him a playful swat on
the chest, which broke some of the tension.

"The hard things aren't over yet," she reminded him. "It
might not be a bad idea to call Claude and Jimmy, find out where
Mills is and have Superman do some surveillance from up in the
air." She lifted her hand and made a swirling motion.

Clark hesitated.

"I don't know if I want to leave you alone right now," he
admitted.

"Clark the only person who is a danger to me at the moment is
Mills and he can't hurt me if you are following him. We need to
know his timetable. The press conference takes place in three
days."

"I know you're right," he admitted, but still he hesitated.

"I'll be fine," she insisted, "but if it makes you feel
better, I can drive into the *Planet* and help Jimmy and Claude
with their research on Vice President Wilson. Safety in numbers.
When you're done you can come and pick me up for dinner."

"Okay," he agreed. "And thank you for humouring me. I know
sometimes you think that I go overboard worrying about your
safety, but --"

"Sometimes you do," Lois agreed. She sighed. "But this time, I
think...well, I don't think I want to be alone."

Clark nodded and grabbed their coats.

"I never thought I would feel grateful that you're going to be
spending time with Claude," he said with a slightly bemused
shake of his head. Lois grabbed the keys and leaned up onto her
tiptoes to kiss him gently on the cheek.

"I love you."

"I know."

***

Chapter 23

The *Planet* was the usual level of busy, and Lois was slightly
grateful for that. Lots of people meant that it was unlikely
anything would happen to her. Still, despite her continued belief
that Lex's obsession would keep him from hurting her, at least
for now, she had no idea how much control Lex had over Mills. If
he got wind that they were working to stop him, he might take
matters into his own hands. Lois was not naive enough to believe
she was completely safe.

The fact that they had put things in motion to move the money
made her even more nervous. And not just for herself. She knew
the moment Steven set foot into that bank, Lex would be alerted
as to what was happening. She worried for him, and for about the
millionth time since she'd made that phone call, regretted ever
pulling his card from her pocket.

Clark walked over to her desk with her, lingering as she settled
in and scanned the room for Jimmy and Claude. She caught sight of
both of them over by the coffee maker and gave them a nod to let
them know she was here.

She could sense Clark's reluctance to leave, despite the people
around them. Reaching out and touching his hand gently, he met
her eyes.

"I couldn't be more safe," she told him. "I won't take any
unnecessary risks, I promise."

"I know," he said, his voice heavy with uncertainty. "Just do
me a favour, and stay away from the windows, okay?"

"Only if you promise me you will look in on Steven from time to
time. He's about 5'11" with sandy blonde hair and blue eyes.
He said he was going to the bank this afternoon and I'm worried
that --"

"I'll keep an eye out," Clark promised. He sighed. "I should
--"

"Go," she finished for him, and he gave her a small smile
before heading over to Jimmy and Claude to check the tracker and
say his goodbyes.

Once he was gone, Jimmy and Claude headed back to her desk. Jimmy
handed her a coffee and Claude pulled up a chair, a stack of
papers in his hands. Both looked highly nervous -- as if they
were both holding a bomb in their hands.

"Is that what I think it is?" Lois asked. Claude nodded.

"Enough to tie the name Rex Alexander AND Vice President Wilson
to Lex Luthor," Jimmy said, sounding slightly awestruck.

"We just...weren't sure what to do next," Claude admitted.

"I can call Henderson," Lois said thinking aloud, "but we
wouldn't want Wilson arrested right away. It would tip off Mills
and by extension, Lex. We need them to think their plan is on
track so they don't switch the date and time."

"But wouldn't that mean putting the President in danger?"
Jimmy asked. "I know we trust that Superman is going to save
him, but what if something goes wrong?"

"We definitely need to get word to the President about what's
going on," Lois agreed. "I'll talk to Superman, and get him to
fill the President in. You're right that he should know what's
happening now that we have proof. If Superman asks him to keep
things quiet, I bet he will listen."

"So what should we do until then?" Jimmy wondered.

"Keep an eye on the tracker," Lois replied. "I'm going to
call Inspector Henderson and see if we can coordinate a plan of
action with Superman."

Claude and Jimmy nodded and both went back to watching the
tracker. Lois dialled the number for the Metropolis Police and
punched in Henderson's extension, memorised after so many years
spent hounding him for statements. When she got his voice mail,
she left a message asking him to call her back as soon as
possible and set her phone down, slightly frustrated.

Their plan was coming together. They had their ducks lined up in
a row and they were ready to take down Luthor, so why did she
feel so unsettled?

She spent the next hour alternating between following the tracker
with Jimmy and Claude and staring at the phone, willing Henderson
to call her back just so she could feel useful. If this were any
other story, she'd have already grabbed her coat and headed out
the door to the precinct to see if she could track down Henderson
in person. He hated when she did that, insisting that he *did*
have other responsibilities, yet always seemed begrudgingly
grateful when a tip or hunch she had panned out, so he hadn't
yet outright banned her from the station.

But she couldn't do that right now. She'd promised Clark she
wouldn't. And, if she was perfectly honest with herself, she
didn't want to. Despite the fact that Lex was still in prison,
she couldn't remember a time when she'd felt more exposed. Lex
would know by now that the money was being moved. How enraged
would that make him? Would it be enough to push him over the
edge? She didn't think for a second that his obsession with her
completely ruled out violence. The moment he truly understood he
could never have her, he would turn. And what about Clark? Lex
had already gotten his hands on Kryptonite in the past. What if
he had more stashed somewhere?

She sighed, hating the way her thoughts were running away with
her, and was surprised to find herself feeling grateful when she
looked up and saw Claude heading over to her desk.

"I thought I would grab some lunch for all of us at the cafe
down the street. You like chicken salad, right?"

Lois nodded and thanked him as he left. She glanced over at Jimmy
once more and was about to pick up the phone to call Henderson
again when it rang loudly, startling her so badly she jumped,
almost spilling her third cup of coffee.

"Lois Lane," she said brusquely, unable to keep the hint of
irritation from her voice. She expected to hear Henderson make a
dryly sarcastic comment about the amount of messages she'd left
on his machine, but instead another voice coldly slithered into
her ears -- one she hadn't expected to hear from and that made
her blood run cold.

"Hello, Lois."

Two simple words. That was all he said -- all he had to say, and
it felt as if the world had tilted slightly on its axis. Her
breathing was suddenly shallow, and she found herself casting
about the newsroom looking for...but no, Clark wasn't there. She
wasn't sure how, but in her gut she was certain Lex had known.

"What do you want, Luthor?" She used his last name
intentionally, creating a barrier between them that she knew Lex
would pick up on. Similarly, she forced herself to sound
dispassionate, to send the message that his call did not have any
effect on her one way or another.

"I think you know what I want," Lex replied, his tone slightly
chilly, which betrayed his emotions in a way that told Lois she
had gotten to him. Lex prided himself on always being in control,
so the fact that his control was slipping, even slightly said a
lot. "I want my money."

"I think you'll find that's my money," Lois replied, finding
it easier to sound almost casual now that she sensed she had the
upper hand. He was in prison. She wasn't sure exactly how much
he knew they were up to beyond the money being moved, but it
didn't matter. For now anyway, she was safe. He was a voice on a
phone, nothing more.

"You're playing a dangerous game, my love," Lex said, his
voice low and silky. Though the effect was meant to sound
threatening, Lois barely reacted, but for a small cringe at his
use of the words 'my love'. The initial shock of the call
having worn off, she now saw the conversation as an opportunity.

"I'm not playing at anything," Lois replied firmly. "You
manipulated me into creating that account. But you're a fool if
you think I would let you get your hands on it now that I know
it's there. You'll never see that money again, Luthor, I
promise you."

"It's almost cute that you think you're in control here. That
you think you can deny me just because you have my money," Lex
said with a sinister growl. Despite her newfound strength, she
suppressed a tiny shudder as he spoke. It had never been more
clear just how truly insane he was. "The truth is that money
comes and goes. What matters is how we feel for each other. You
just need to be reminded of how it was. I will remind you. When I
see you again, you'll remember and we --"

"You think it's that simple?" Lois said, seizing the
opportunity to hurt him, to wound him. She needed him angry and
desperate. As dangerous as it might be, she needed him to lose
control, to get sloppy. Any information he might accidentally
give them would make stopping him that much easier. "You think I
could ever feel anything for you again other than disgust? Once
upon a time I may have deluded myself into thinking that respect
was enough, but love? I didn't feel it then and I certainly
couldn't feel it now. You're pathetic. A pitiful shell of a
man, cowardly phoning me from a prison cell."

"Don't --" he warned, and she noticed the way his voice shook
ever so slightly.

"Don't what?" she taunted, lowering her voice when Jimmy shot
her a curious look. "You can't hurt me now. Your money is gone.
Your power is gone. Who is going to do your dirty work once you
can no longer pay your debts?"

"I still have a trick or two up my sleeve," Lex growled. *Come
on,* she urged him silently. *Slip up. Make a mistake.*

"Then you'd better show your hand," she replied calmly.
"Because you're running out of time."

"You think you're safe, do you?" he asked her, his voice
reverting back to the calm and controlled tone she was used to.
Her shoulders slumped. Now that he'd regained his composure, he
wouldn't slip again. She was about to say good-bye and hang up
the phone, when he spoke again. "Sitting there, at your desk,
surrounded by your co-workers, your friends...but not your
fiance. Where is he, Lois? Surely he didn't leave you alone. Not
now..."

"How did you --?"

"You must feel very secure," he continued as if she hadn't
spoken. "Nobody can touch you there, right?"

She should hang up. Just put the phone down and yet for some
reason, she couldn't move her hand. It clutched the phone
tightly and pressed it against her ear while she closed her eyes,
repeating to herself over and over that he couldn't hurt her.
Not now. Not here.

"You're not safe, Lois," he continued, his voice a deep
menacing growl. "You will never be safe. I will always be there.
And deep down you know it. You know you'll never be rid of me.
You'll never be free. It's how I know that there is still a
chance I can win you back."

"How on Earth can you be so deluded?" she breathed, unable to
keep the emotion from her voice.

"Because," and she could hear the smugness in his tone sending
shivers up her spine. "You haven't hung up the phone. You're
still there. Still listening."

She hung up immediately, hands shaking as she drew a thready
breath and took a deep swig of her now-cold coffee.

Was he right? Win or lose, prison or no prison, was there always
going to be a small part of her that lived in fear of Lex Luthor?
Was her marriage to Clark doomed to be haunted by his ghost?

She shook the thoughts from her head, trying desperately to focus
on something other than the phone call. Her salvation came in the
form of Claude returning from the deli with her lunch.

"One chicken salad sandwich," he said, handing it to her.

She took it from him wordlessly and bit into it, chewing almost
furiously. She suddenly felt ravenous -- as if she hadn't eaten
in months. It must have been noticeable, for Claude raised an
eyebrow as he sat down next to her desk and unwrapped his BLT.

"They aren't going to run out you know," he told her as she
finished the first half of the sandwich. "I promise there will
be more tomorrow if that's what you're worried about."

"You know, you're not nearly as funny as you think you are,"
she replied dryly, oddly grateful for the banter.

"I'll make a note of it," he shot back. He glanced back over
to where Jimmy had been monitoring the tracker only a few moments
before, and Lois hadn't realised he'd left until now.
"Anything happening?"

"I got a phone call," Lois replied vaguely. Upon seeing
Claude's curious expression, she felt her mouth twist into a
slightly bitter smile. "I'll tell you about it when Clark gets
back."

***

Chapter 24

Despite Lois' best attempt at a poker face, Clark wasn't
fooled. The moment he reached her desk, he leaned down and
touched her hand gently -- a look of worry in the depths of his
warm brown eyes.

"I saw you from across the newsroom," he said quietly, "and I
could tell something happened."

"Not here," she said, her voice slightly shaky despite the fact
that she'd thought she had managed to calm down. He nodded and
pulled her to her feet. She gave him a curious look and he
gestured to the conference room where she immediately understood
and followed him.

The moment the doors were shut, she sank into one of the chairs,
drawing a slow breath before looking over at Clark.

"He called me. Here. At the *Planet*."

There was a moment of tense silence as the enormity of what she
said sunk in. A look of pure rage passed across Clark's features
and for a moment, Lois was terrified he might actually fly to the
prison and tear Luthor apart with his bare hands. As satisfying
as it was to imagine, she knew it couldn't happen.

"I never should have left you," Clark said eventually. His
breathing was shallow and his fists were clenched shut tightly as
if he were willing himself *not* to do anything rash.

"You can't be with me 24/7, Clark," she said suddenly feeling
more in control. Somehow seeing Clark go through the same range
of emotions helped clarify things for her. "He picked his moment
carefully. Somehow, he knew you weren't here. I'm actually
grateful it happened here and not at home."

She shivered and Clark's head shot up, his face absolutely
stricken at the thought of Lois receiving that call all alone.

"What did he say?" he asked finally.

"The usual," Lois replied with an attempt at indifference she
certainly didn't feel. "That someday we would be together, I
would change my mind, that I'd never be safe from him --"

"I'm so sorry," Clark interrupted, his voice slightly
strangled. She could feel the ferocity of his anger and knew the
monumental act of self-control that it took to contain it. It was
one of the things that amazed her about him. Here was the most
powerful man in the world, and yet he refused to use that power
to kill, even if it would rid the world of someone as purely evil
as Lex Luthor.

"If you apologise one more time for something that wasn't your
fault, I'll..." she trailed off, at a loss for a suitable
threat and gave him a weary smile. "I love you. Thank you."

He kissed her gently and they both sat in silence for a moment.
Eventually, she felt his hands on her shoulders and realised he
had walked around behind her chair to give her a massage. She
closed her eyes instinctively and allowed the stress to melt away
as his fingers worked their magic.

"Oh, Clark," she finally murmured softly. "That feels..."

She trailed off and gave herself over to the feeling once more.
She wasn't sure how much time had passed when he finally
stopped, sitting down opposite her in the chair once more and
taking her hands in his.

"I know I can't be everywhere," he said, sounding almost as if
he needed to say it out loud to absolve himself of the guilt he
was undoubtedly feeling. "And I won't smother you, or try to
hold you back, but...I'm scared."

He looked away, as if ashamed and Lois drew a sharp breath. She
knew the courage it would have taken for him to admit that,
especially where Lex Luthor was concerned. She knew how hard he
worked to be the shoulder to cry on whenever she needed it, and
she was touched he was letting her see this very real, vulnerable
moment.

"I know," she replied, not knowing what else to say. She
reached out and squeezed his hand in a gesture of comfort. "And
it's okay. I mean, it's normal to be scared. He's scary. He's
gotten further into our lives, into our psyches than anyone else.
The fact that he knew I was here and you were out...well, someone
is giving him that information, Clark, and frankly I'd be a bit
worried if you weren't scared. But there is one good thing about
all this."

"What's that?" he wondered. Lois smiled grimly.

"He's scared too," she told him. "Think about it! It's the
only reason he would call! He's never reached out like this
before."

Lois was surprised she hadn't realised it earlier, but she'd
been so preoccupied by the emotions that had hung around, that
her logical mind hadn't had a chance to take over. But it was
working now and she was starting to feel slightly more
confident.

"Don't you see?" she asked Clark, who looked puzzled but
interested. "We've got him rattled. The first thing he
mentioned was the money. He knows we're moving it, and there is
nothing he can do about it. That call was proof we are getting to
him! He's desperate."

"You might be right," Clark said, looking even more troubled
than ever. "And if he is desperate, that makes him even more
dangerous. Desperate men lash out, Lois. Especially when they
think there's nothing left to lose. We need to act quickly,
before he..."

He didn't finish the sentence, but he didn't have to. Lois
nodded.

"I think I have an idea," she said finally. "But we will need
to sit down with Inspector Henderson and Superman. I tried
calling him a few times today, but got his machine."

"I flew by the precinct," Clark admitted. "He wasn't there.
His day off, I guess."

"Is he allowed to have those?" Lois said, only half kidding.
Clark gave her a tired smile. "Well, I guess we can't do any
more today then. We still have a bit of time, so I think you and
I have earned an early night in."

"Sounds perfect," he said, his eyes suddenly very intense. Lois
felt her body go still under his expression. "What did you have
in mind?"

"Movies," she breathed, though that was suddenly the last thing
on her mind. "A couple of glasses of wine...BYOP?"

"BYOP?"

"Bring your own popcorn," she said with a grin as she leaned
forward and kissed him slowly, thoroughly, deeply until she could
feel his large hands cupping her face in his and pulling her to
her feet so that her body pressed against his.

She could feel his heart hammering against her as the kiss
deepened, heat seeming to spread throughout every part of her
body. Softly, she breathed his name between kisses, attempting to
put a stop to things, but it only came out sounding like a plea
to continue -- a plea he took very seriously as his hands wrapped
tightly around her body, moving down until they firmly cupped her
bottom.

"Newsroom," she finally managed to murmur, which caused him to
pause enough for her to step back out of his embrace. "We're in
the newsroom."

"Conference room, technically," he said through shallow
breaths.

She felt her heart constrict at the sight of him. She'd seen
every side of him in the last half hour -- from concern, to
anger, to worry and finally desire, and she loved every part of
him. Ignoring the sudden tightness in her throat, she reached out
and took his hand.

"Take me home, Clark."

***

Chapter 25

They spent the evening lost in each other's arms. They abandoned
any legitimate attempts to watch the movie Lois chose -- Dirty
Dancing -- and instead allowed themselves to slowly, and
carefully explore one another, taking the time both to give and
receive the pleasure and comfort they desperately needed.

The following day, Lois woke with a renewed sense of
determination to redouble her efforts to stop Lex Luthor. She
could tell Clark felt the same way, which meant both of them
dressed and ate quickly so they could get a start on their day.

Once they were at the *Planet*, she called the police precinct
early, punched in Henderson's extension number and was relieved
to hear him answer almost immediately.

"I thought I'd be hearing from you," he said, his voice
matter-of-fact. "I got your messages. Is it about Luthor?"

"It is," Lois replied, thankful that Henderson knew better than
to give her a hard time right now. "I spoke with Superman and we
might have an idea that could help stop Luthor as well as
everyone involved. Will you meet with us? We can be there in
twenty minutes."

"Where?" Henderson asked.

"Not at the precinct," Lois said, remembering that Lex had
people on his payroll almost everywhere. Or he had. She had a
feeling those same people would distance themselves very quickly
once they realised the money was gone. "Centennial Park.
Northwest entrance. Superman will find you."

"I'm on my way," Henderson said, and hung up without saying
goodbye. She knew she didn't need to let Clark know that
Henderson was coming.

Lois knew that they couldn't arrive together and yet, after the
previous day's phone call she was not terribly eager to drive
there on her own. Clark solved the internal dilemma for her.

"There's an isolated alley near the northwest entrance I
occasionally change in. Drop me off there before you head into
the park to meet Henderson. I'll have my eyes on you at all
times."

She nodded and they wasted no time getting into the Jeep and
driving to the park where Lois dropped Clark off before finding a
parking spot. Just as she was getting out of the Jeep she heard
the familiar sound of Clark taking off and knew he'd be there
before she found Henderson.

Sure enough, she spotted Clark almost immediately, standing
straight with his arms folded in a stance she'd come to
recognise was as much a part of the disguise as the suit, glasses
and choice in hairstyle.

"About time, Lane," Henderson said gruffly as she arrived. To
her shock and amazement he handed her a coffee, cream, and a
packet of sugar. She glanced over to see that Superman's hands
were empty and Henderson looked slightly embarrassed. "I didn't
know if you drank coffee, Superman, or I would have..."

"It's fine," Clark replied with a disarming smile.

"We should probably get down to business," Lois interrupted.
She glanced around and gestured for them to step into a more
secluded spot where she knew Clark would be able to have a better
view of any potential dangers. "We know Lex's full plan,
including when the President is meant to be assassinated and by
whom. We have enough evidence to implicate Vice President Wilson
in the scheme as well. We've even managed to find Lex's revenue
stream and cut him off from it."

"Impressive," Henderson murmured, looking at Lois in a way that
made her feel oddly proud of herself. She and Henderson had
clashed so often, that earning his admiration felt odd. "How did
you manage to do that?"

Lois took a deep breath before explaining the bank account and
what she was doing with it. The last thing she wanted was for
Henderson to know how badly she'd been duped by Luthor, but it
was necessary if she wanted to make sure Steven was safe. After
all, she'd brought him into this, and even though he claimed to
know the risks, if something happened to him, she felt the fault
would lie with her all the same.

Henderson whistled as she revealed the amount of money in the
account.

"That's a big chunk of change," he observed. "Money like that
you could retire on a beach somewhere in Bora Bora."

"Keep dreaming, Henderson," she shot back with a small smile.
"I just so happen to love my job, so expect me to continue being
a thorn in your side for years to come."

"Fair enough," Henderson said with a shrug. "So, I'm assuming
you want your lawyer given a protection detail until this is all
over?"

"Can you do that?" Lois asked hopefully.

"I can spare a few uniforms," Henderson said with a nod.
"Or...do you want me to call in for federal protection? I am
breaking all kinds of protocol by not informing them as it is,
given that there is a legitimate plan to assassinate the
President."

"No Feds," Lois said firmly in a way that earned her a raised
eyebrow from Henderson. After all, she wasn't in any real
position to tell Henderson how to do his job. Before she could
reply, however, Clark spoke.

"She's right," his voice was strong and sure. "We can't be
sure who we can trust in the FBI, and if Luthor got to the Vice
President, you can bet that he has men there as well."

"Any protection you can offer Steven will be more than enough,"
Lois added. "After all, Superman will check up on him as
well."

Henderson sighed in resignation. "Very well. I'll spare a few
every day to make sure he's safe. I won't say why, and I will
pick my best guys -- ones I am sure are good honest cops, but I
still can't guarantee --"

"I know," Lois interrupted. "I understand."

"That still leaves stopping Luthor," Henderson continued. He
looked over at Superman. "I assume that's where you come in?"

"It's where we *all* come in," Clark replied, his voice
lowered that familiar octave, and his eyes serious. "You see, we
need Mills and Luthor to think that everything is status quo.
It's even more important now because the money is getting moved.
If Luthor discovers we know when the assassination is supposed to
take place, he'll change the date, and then he might just
succeed."

"Are you suggesting we use the President as bait?" Henderson
asked, incredulously.

"Sort of," Superman replied. "My friend Clark Kent's mother
knows how to make a fairly convincing hologram. She could make
one of the President. I can speak to the President and let him
know what's going on ahead of time so that we have him moved and
hidden somewhere secure. The hitch is that we have to make sure
we arrest Vice President Wilson quickly and quietly before the
President is due to give his press conference in two days. He
can't know what's happening until it's too late. When the
hologram of the President appears to walk on stage, I will
already have tracked Mills to his location and can grab him
before he can take the shot."

"Once the key players are dealt with and Luthor's money has
dried up, it should be relatively easy to arrest the others
connected to him," Lois continued. "Once we have a few, my
guess is they will be more than willing to name every person who
worked for Luthor in exchange for some kind of plea bargain.
Luthor will have new charges added to his already extensive
sentence, and nobody else willing to help him."

"That's a good plan," Henderson admitted. He cast a begrudging
look at Lois. "You know, Lane, if you weren't such a pain in my
behind, I'd say you should have been a cop. You've got the mind
for it."

"No thanks," Lois replied with a feigned shudder. "Polyester
uniforms and doughnuts are not my style."

"So, you'll help then?" Clark spoke before Henderson could
reply to Lois' mildly playful barb. "We have two days to pull
this off. We need you on board."

"You have me," Henderson replied with a reluctant sigh. "I'll
put some uniforms on your friend Steven today. We shouldn't be
in contact with each other until the day of the press conference,
though, just in case."

"Good point," Clark agreed. "If it becomes absolutely
necessary to get a message to you, I'll fly by the precinct.
Superman visits there on a regular basis, so it won't seem too
out of the ordinary."

"Alright. Until then, Lane. Don't do anything stupid." Without
waiting for a response, Henderson turned and walked back towards
the entrance he'd come through.

Lois shook her head. "You know, just when I think I'm starting
to like that guy..."

"I should go visit my folks tomorrow night and get that hologram
machine," Clark said, but his eyes looked worried. Lois knew
that deep down he didn't want to leave her, especially not after
the phone call she'd received in his absence the day before. She
also knew that he was struggling with the fact that he knew how
much she valued her independence against his own instinct to
protect her.

Lois touched his hand. "We can go together. Have dinner there
maybe?"

She didn't say it out loud, but the part of her that fiercely
guarded her independence was also at war. And in this one
circumstance, she found herself wanting to be as far away from
Metropolis as possible.

"Sounds good," Clark said with a relieved smile. "My parents
will be happy to see you."

"We should get to the *Planet*," Lois said, "and update Claude
and Jimmy. It might not be a bad idea to get them to lie low for
the next two days as well. Perry, too, though I doubt he would
listen."

"I'll spin into the suit when we get there," Clark said.
"Maybe Superman can at least convince Perry to take some
precautions."

Lois nodded and they walked quickly back to the Jeep, her heart
thudding swiftly as she put her key into the ignition. She
wasn't sure why her nerves were so on edge, but she knew that
the phone call from Lex had her more rattled than she cared to
admit.

She was grateful to finally arrive at the bullpen, and although
she was theoretically safe amidst the hustle and bustle of the
newsroom, a part of her still remained unsettled. *He* was in her
life.

Logically, she knew it meant that he had people working for him
and reporting back to him. People on his payroll that hadn't
discovered the well had dried up yet. But obviously the fact that
he hadn't personally been watching her did not make her feel any
better. The *Planet* was supposed to be a sanctuary. It was the
closest thing she could have gotten to a home beyond her
apartment, and to violate that...

She shuddered and sat down at her desk. She could see out of the
corner of her eye that Clark had arrived in the suit and was
talking to Perry in his office. Smiling, she got up and headed
over to the coffee maker, feeling more relaxed now that she'd
seen him. It was irrational, really, but no matter where she was,
or what she was doing, the sight of Clark always had the power to
make her feel safe.

***

Chapter 26

The rest of the day passed in a blur as they all made
preparations for the looming press conference. Lois kept an eagle
eye on her extension, hoping for some news with regards to the
money. She knew that Steven would be doing his best to make sure
it went as swiftly as possible, but she was equally certain that
Carstairs would be trying every trick in the book to stall the
procedure on Lex's behalf.

Perry, as expected, had not seemed the slightest bit worried that
Lex Luthor was plotting something. Indeed, Lois had watched Perry
as Superman had delivered his warning. He'd puffed his chest out
and hooked his fingers around his suspenders before informing
Superman that an old experienced newshound like himself could
smell danger from a mile away. He'd then proceeded to thank
Superman for his concern, but insisted he'd be fine. Lois could
tell as Clark left the office that he'd been trying to keep a
straight face as he'd listened to Perry's exaggerations.

She also knew that at some point, Clark would have to leave to go
and inform the President that he was in danger and tell them
about their plan. She had expected him to do it right after they
returned, but instead, she'd watched as he found excuse after
excuse to stay. And even though there were a million reasons he
should leave, she loved him that much more for staying.

She allowed herself to get lost in thought for a few more minutes
until a coffee appeared in front of her. She looked up and smiled
at Clark feeling both grateful and guilty that he was still
there.

"How many cups of coffee have I had this morning?" Lois asked
absently as she took a sip.

"This is your third," he said with a bemused smile. "I think
you might have a problem."

"Do you think they do twelve-step programs for caffeine?" Lois
grinned back.

"Hmm, well since the first step is admitting you have a problem,
you might have trouble getting to the other eleven steps," Clark
teased. Lois gave him a mock pout.

"I'll have you know I can stop any time I want," she shot
back. Before Clark could offer a retort, Lois' phone rang and
she instantly felt her entire body go rigid. Clark noticed the
change in posture and leaned over to pick up the receiver before
she could stop him.

"Clark Kent," he said tentatively. Lois watched and felt the
tension melt from her body the moment Clark visibly relaxed. It
wasn't him. It wasn't Lex. After a moment's exchange, Clark
handed the phone to her and Lois answered it.

"So, I finally got to meet the famous Clark Kent...well, sort
of." Steven's friendly voice caused the rest of Lois' worry to
ease slightly. "Is he moonlighting as your receptionist?"

"Sort of," Lois admitted. "I got a rather unexpected phone
call from Lex Luthor yesterday. Clark was just making sure this
wasn't a repeat occurrence. He hasn't...tried to contact you at
all, has he?"

"No, thankfully," Steven said, and Lois wondered if he sounded
slightly rattled. She imagined it was one thing to be told that
you could potentially be enraging a psychopath and another to
have evidence of it. Before she could dwell on that too much
further, Steven spoke again. "Listen, I just called to let you
know that the account has been closed. I have a cashier's cheque
for the money for you. It's in the safe in my office, but I'll
be honest, I --"

"Want to get rid of it as soon as possible?" Lois finished for
him. Despite the incredibly tempting amount, something about
having that much money in your possession -- money previously
owned by a notorious psychopathic murderer -- must be absolutely
terrifying. Lois couldn't blame him for wanting to get the money
to her as soon as possible.

"Yeah," he admitted, sounding slightly embarrassed. "Don't
get me wrong, I'm not normally spooked, but something about
having a heavy police presence outside my home and office is a
bit unsettling. Do I have you to thank for that, by the way?"

"Superman, actually," she said, "but I might have mentioned it
to him."

"Well, I am grateful for your friends in high places. Literally
high places." She could almost hear him grinning at his own joke
and remembered why he was always so much fun at parties.

"Well, I'll give you the chance to meet the man himself," she
replied, shooting a look at Clark that he immediately understood
as his cue to listen in. "Superman is at the *Planet* right now.
I am sure he will have no issues picking up the cashier's cheque
and bringing it back here to me as a favour."

"Wow, that's impressive," Steven said with a whistle. "I've
always wanted to meet the man in blue. I appreciate it."

"No more than I appreciate all you've done for me," Lois
replied gratefully. "Seriously."

"Well don't thank me too thoroughly. I added a couple of extra
zeros to the bill since you can afford it." Lois knew he was
joking, but resolved to write a cheque for much higher than what
she'd originally promised him. She knew exactly what he was
risking by helping her, even if he didn't fully realise it.

"Superman should be there soon," she told him. "Once you give
him the cheque, do me a favour and take a vacation for a few
days?" She tried, but she couldn't keep the nervousness out of
her voice.

"That bad, is it?" Steven asked, all jokes forgotten.

"Something is about to happen that's going to make Lex Luthor
extremely angry," Lois said, not wanting to get too specific,
lest he have people watching and/or a way to bug their phones.
"And prison or not, he has ways of getting to people. I would
feel a lot better if you were out of town."

"Gotcha," Steven replied. "I feel a spur of the moment fishing
trip coming on the second this cheque is out of my hands."

"Good," Lois said, feeling relieved. "I'll be in touch
soon."

Once she'd hung up, she looked at Clark, who seemed to know what
she was going to say before she said it.

"I'll pay a visit to the President first and pick up the cheque
from Steven as fast as I can," he promised, looking as if
leaving was the last thing he wanted to do.

"I'll be fine," Lois insisted, pretending for his sake that
the idea of Luthor calling her again while he was gone didn't
terrify her. "I will stay at my desk and Jimmy, Perry and Claude
will be here the entire time. Go."

He looked like he wanted to say more, but instead settled for a
soft kiss on the lips before heading for the elevators. Moments
later she could hear the sound of him taking off into the sky and
forced herself to turn her attention to the computer screen in
front of her as she typed up her notes for the story of a
lifetime on her machine.

She allowed herself to be immersed in that task while he was
gone. When he returned, he seemed immensely relieved when she
informed him that she'd had a boring, if productive hour and a
half, and he possessed similar good news when he informed her the
President was willing to go along with their plan.

"Did you managed to get the --"

"It's somewhere safe," he assured her. She nodded and chewed
her lip thoughtfully. Clark sat down next to her and took her
hand.

"You're still not sure what to do with the money, are you?"

"We both know we don't want it," Lois replied with a sigh.
"But what do I do with it? That money destroyed lives. Luthor
used that money to create an empire by swallowing up company
after company in his bid to control everything and everyone
around him."

"It was the source of his power," Clark agreed, clearly feeling
the heavy weight of responsibility as well. "We need to make
sure that every vestige of his power base is gone. If we get rid
of too much of the money in one place, like a charity, then
someone loyal to Luthor might still be able to regain control."

"That's it!" Lois exclaimed, an idea suddenly coming to her.
It was so simple. Why hadn't she thought of it before? "Clark,
we have the list of all the companies Luthor bought out or took
over don't we?"

"Claude has it, I believe," Clark replied, looking at her
curiously. "After all, his family's aviation company was one of
the ones Luthor bought shares in."

"Then we use the money to buy them back," Lois replied. "All
of them. We buy back every company Luthor took via hostile
takeover. We give people back their livelihoods and donate
whatever money is left over to a series of charities."

"Are you sure?" Clark asked, looking slightly surprised. "You
realise this will mean buying Claude's family's company back
for him."

Lois grimaced.

"I know," she sighed. "But whatever my feelings for him are,
his family didn't deserve to lose their business. Besides, for
Claude, that money will come at a price. He and I still need to
have another conversation. But as long as the money is safe for
now, that can wait until tomorrow."

They had one more day to plan before the press conference, and
Lois already felt exhausted. She checked her watch. It was early,
but she knew Perry wouldn't begrudge them if they left.

"It seems the only thing left for us to do is get the hologram
equipment from my parents," Clark said as if reading her mind.
Her stomach rumbled just as he'd spoken.

"Let's get out of here," she urged him. "Let's go to
Smallville now."

"Right now?" Clark asked her as he stood up and reached for her
hand. She allowed him to pull her to her feet and into his arms
where he placed a soft, but tantalising kiss on her lips. The din
in the newsroom seemed to vanish.

"Why not?" she said, suddenly feeling the full intensity of
Clark's gaze. She shivered slightly, thinking of just how much
she enjoyed the way he was gently running his fingers up and down
her arms.

"I thought we'd go back to the apartment and spend some...time
together," he said somewhat lamely. She laughed, enjoying the
innocent sheepishness in his expression. She leaned over and
whispered in his ear in a way that was intended to drive him
crazy.

"Let's get out of here."

***

Chapter 27

Though Clark had told his parents they would be in Smallville for
dinner at six, both of them lost track of the time as they
continued to familiarise themselves with each other's bodies. By
some unspoken agreement they stuck to oral forms of pleasure.
Lois wondered if Clark felt the same as she did -- that it was
enough that they were able to slowly learn how to please each
other with no expectations and no added pressure. She hadn't
actually asked him, but she got the impression that Clark was
just as happy as she was to be in the moment with him, especially
with everything else going on around them.

As they lay together in the afterglow, with Clark's arms around
her, Lois thought about the fact that she had never felt more
cared for or loved. She'd never had experiences like this with
any man, and it made her appreciate Clark all the more while
simultaneously making her want to go back in time and tell her
younger self that there *were* better men out there.

She felt Clark absently brush her hair away from her forehead,
placing a kiss there. She shifted to get a better view of his
face and noticed out of the corner of her eye the time on the
clock. It was ten to six.

"I think we're going to be late for dinner," she giggled. He
sat up and turned to look at the clock and groaned, but did not
look particularly upset.

"I guess we got carried away," he said sheepishly.

"I think we needed to," Lois replied, thinking about everything
they had been dealing with. "But we really should get dressed.
Your parents are expecting us, and I don't want to have to try
to lie to your mom when she asks what kept us."

"Good point," he replied, swinging his legs over the side of
the bed before standing up and spinning into the suit. It took
Lois a little bit longer to grab a sweater and jeans and shove
them on. Eventually, they were ready to go and Lois was resigned
to the fact that they were, in fact, going to be late.

"I'm engaged to the fastest man in the world and we still
can't be on time for dinner," she grumbled with mock annoyance
as Clark lifted her into his arms, and floated out the window and
into the air. She shivered ever so slightly and wrapped her arms
tighter around his neck.

Despite the fact that they had flown together many times since
she'd discovered his secret, Lois didn't think she would ever
get used to the sheer freedom that was flying with Clark. It was
different than when she had thought she was flying with Superman.
With Superman, she'd always felt a sense of unreality -- like
being with someone that she could never truly touch. He'd always
kept himself somewhat distant from her. But with Clark, it felt
as if he was sharing what it truly meant to be him in every sense
of the word. Instead of feeling distant, she felt most connected
to him when soaring above the clouds, nestled in his arms. How he
could have done this for so long on his own without being able to
share it with anybody was both heartbreaking and amazing to her.

She lost all track of time and thought as they flew through the
air. She knew he normally went a little slower when carrying her,
but tonight she wondered if he was taking his time on purpose.
She wasn't sure why, but she didn't question it.

Eventually, she saw the Kent's farmhouse below them and felt
themselves descending. Before her feet had even touched the
ground, Martha Kent had thrown open the door to the Kent's
farmhouse and was making her way towards them, where she pulled
them into a giant bear hug.

"I'm so sorry we're late, Martha," Lois said when she'd
released them and begun to usher them inside. "We got...held up
at work."

And there it was. She'd lied to her almost-mother-in-law. She
felt guilty immediately, especially since she had seen Clark
attempt to sneak anything past his mother. It couldn't be done.

"Nonsense," Martha replied, dismissing her apology with a wave.
Lois felt relieved immediately, and she was reminded of why she
loved Martha Kent so much.

The table was already set, and before Lois realised it, they were
eating, talking and laughing as if it were just an ordinary night
at the Kent farm. Lois had almost forgotten entirely about their
reason for being there until after dessert had been cleared away
-- an incredible homemade apple pie that Lois had enjoyed so much
she might have asked for the recipe were she in any way
domestically inclined.

Jonathan was bringing out a pot of coffee for all of them when
Martha finally mentioned the elephant in the room.

"I tested the hologram equipment you wanted," she said. She
spoke with a feigned casualness that Lois knew all too well. It
was the same technique she used to get information from reluctant
sources. She had assumed Clark had explained to his parents
everything that had been going on, but when she thought about it,
he hadn't really had the time to do so. Living together had
meant being in each other's pockets almost constantly, and Lois
hadn't seen him have a lengthy conversation with his parents at
any point.

"Thanks, Mom," Clark had replied, his own voice equally casual
but not nearly as good as Martha's. "I promise not to damage
it."

"Are you planning on telling me why you wanted me to make a
hologram of the President?" Martha asked, making eye contact
with her son as she poured his coffee. Lois watched Clark wince
as if he'd been caught doing something he shouldn't be doing.
He looked away and stared down at his cup as if it were the most
interesting thing in the world.

"There's a threat against the President's life," Lois said,
figuring that if she told them some of the truth, maybe they
wouldn't dig too deeply. She knew that Clark likely hadn't told
them everything because he didn't want them to worry. Lex Luthor
was a sore spot for everyone. After all, he'd nearly killed
their son with Kryptonite.

"And you want to lure the person responsible out with a
hologram?" Jonathan guessed.

Lois nodded. "We know the date and time of the attempt," she
explained. "We figured if we could make it look as if the
President was there, then police and Superman could apprehend the
assassin so they can't try again."

"And what does Lex Luthor have to do with it all?" Martha asked
softly. Clark's eyes shot up, startled.

"How did you know --?"

"I didn't until just now," Martha replied, sounding a tiny bit
proud of herself. "I know he's in prison, but your voice has
only ever sounded that frightened one other time and it was the
day that --"

"That I almost married him?" Lois interjected, feeling her
heart sink. She'd always secretly feared what Martha and
Jonathan must think of her, given the fact that she'd turned
their son down when he'd poured his heart out to her, only to
throw herself at him as Superman not twenty minutes later. And
then, as an added insult, she'd broken their son's heart a
second time by agreeing to marry a mass murderer. She couldn't
imagine any parent in the world wouldn't hold at least a tiny
bit of resentment or anger. She might as well get everything out
in the open so at least she would know where she stood with
them.

"Oh Lois, we don't blame you," Jonathan said quietly. "Clark
told us how he manipulated everyone into thinking he was a good
person."

"Not to mention taking away everything that meant anything to
you," Martha chimed in. Her voice was firm, but her eyes were
kind.

"Martha, I..." Lois scrambled to try to articulate what she
wanted to say and found herself floundering. "Thank you, but
there's more to it than that. It's...complicated."

"Jonathan, could you show Clark that chore in the barn that you
needed help with?" Martha asked pointedly. Jonathan took the
hint immediately and stood up.

"C'mon, son. There's a...thing I need help with." He shot a
look at this wife. "Apparently."

Lois watched Clark go, feeling more than a little nervous and not
at all convinced that she hadn't in some way stuck her foot in
her mouth.

"Martha, I --"

"Now, you just stop right there, Lois Lane," Martha said,
sternly. Lois froze at the tone in her voice, feeling certain
that she'd been right about their feelings towards her all
along. "Do you honestly think I have been harbouring anger
towards you over Lex Luthor for all this time?"

She sounded incredulous and slightly hurt. Lois wasn't sure what
to feel or think, only that she knew how she had hurt Clark in
the past and couldn't imagine how Martha or Jonathan could be
totally okay with the fact that she'd almost married the same
man who had nearly killed their son.

"Honestly?" Lois said, feeling it was best to get it all out
there. "Yes. At least, a little. After all, I almost married him
and he --"

"I know what he did," Martha said softly and the anger in her
eyes took her by surprise. "To both of you. Honey, the man is a
psychopath. A murderer. Of course he would manipulate and isolate
and hurt you and anyone else to get what he wants. I *know*
that."

"He did," Lois agreed, feeling close to tears. "But I let it
happen. Clark told me how he felt and I --"

"You were scared," Martha interrupted, reaching over and
squeezing her arm gently. "I know how that feels! But I don't
for a second think you ever meant to hurt Clark. I know how much
you love him, how much you have always loved him. I knew it back
then, just as much as I know it now."

"How could you possibly have known?" Lois asked, the
astonishment clear in her voice. "I didn't even know."

"Of course you didn't," Martha said soothingly. "And that's
mine and Jonathan's doing. At least, when it came to who Clark
really was. How could you know when you didn't have the whole
picture? We should have encouraged Clark to tell you who he was,
but he's had to be careful all his life, you see. We were so
worried someone -- the wrong someone -- might find out about him
that we...well, I think he could have told you when Lex bought
the *Planet*. If anything, I blame myself for not encouraging him
to trust you."

"How did you know I could be trusted?" Lois asked, feeling both
humbled and awed by the fact that Martha had all but said she had
known over a year ago that she could be entrusted with Clark's
secret.

"I told you," Martha replied with a gentle smile. "I could see
how much you loved him. It was written all over your face that
first day I met you at the corn festival. When Clark got sick,
the worry you felt told me how much you cared. I saw the way your
face would light up whenever he smiled at you. When he saw you in
that dress, I saw the way you blushed. I could see it then, even
if you couldn't, and I knew it would only be a matter of time
before you figured it out."

"I don't know what to say," Lois said, her voice hoarse with
emotion. She'd never realised just how much the older woman had
been not only rooting for her son's happiness but for hers as
well. "Thank you."

"No, Lois," Martha said, her eyes shining with unspoken
emotion. "Thank* you.* You've made him happier than I have ever
seen him. However the two of you got here, I'm glad you did."

"Me too," Lois replied feeling as if a heavy weight had been
lifted from her shoulders. "He makes me so happy, Martha."

"Good," Martha said, her eyes twinkling with warmth, "and if
he ever stops making you happy you let me know. I love him, but I
don't know if you've noticed, that he can be a bit of a
lunkhead at times."

Lois laughed out loud just as Clark came back inside the room
with Jonathan. Lois noticed from the look that Jonathan gave
Martha that he'd kept Clark away as long as he possibly could.

"What's so funny?" Jonathan asked.

Lois shook her head.

"Nothing," Martha said with a wink. "Girl stuff."

"Girl stuff, huh?" Jonathan gave Clark a look. "Marriage tip,
son, they start talking 'girl stuff', it means they are
plotting against us."

"I'll keep it in mind, Dad," Clark said with a chuckle. "Mom,
can you show me how this hologram machine works again? I don't
want to make any mistakes."

"Absolutely," Martha said with a nod. "Anything to put that
son-of-a-bitch back in prison where he belongs."

"Mom!" Clark said, sounding slightly shocked. Martha shrugged,
nonplussed.

"He tried to kill you with Kryptonite," she said
unapologetically. "Anyone who threatens my boy is a
son-of-a-bitch. Now give me a second while I get the machine
ready."

***

Chapter 28

They lingered at the farmhouse long after Martha helped show them
how to use the hologram machine, not wanting the night to end.
Lois felt a newfound kinship with her almost-mother-in-law, and
she could tell Clark also felt safer in a location where Lex
Luthor would not be able to spy on them, no matter how good his
sources.

Eventually, a yawn from Jonathan that he tried to conceal
prompted Lois to glance at the clock.

"Oh, Clark, look at the time!" she exclaimed. "We're so
sorry, you two must be exhausted. We should go."

"Nonsense," Martha said with a wave of her hand. "You aren't
going anywhere...either of you."

"We have to get back, Mom," Clark protested, though Lois could
see he didn't want to go and Lois didn't blame him. She finally
didn't feel as if she had to look over her shoulder every other
second, afraid that someone was watching her or that Lex Luthor
might phone her again.

"You can fly back in the morning," Martha said pragmatically.
"I'm sure Perry won't mind if you're a little late. He knows
after all what's going on, so just let him know you are
somewhere safe and that you'll be in later. I've already made
up the guest bedroom."

"Well, alright," Clark relented and she heard the relief in his
tone. He glanced at her. "As long as you're okay with it?"

"I'm more than okay with it," Lois said heartily, and she
noticed Martha smile just a little bit wider. "We'd be happy to
stay."

"Good," Jonathan said standing up. "But you're right about
one thing, I am tired. And since I have to get up with the
chickens tomorrow, I'm going to get to bed."

"I'll do the same. Everything is ready for you both in the
guest room. If you need extra towels in the morning, for a
shower, let me know. Good night."

As Lois watched Jonathan and Martha head to bed, she felt a
powerful longing. She could see the ease with which the two
communicated. The way they playfully teased one another. She
could tell there was a deep and intense love still present
between them even after all those years of marriage, and she knew
that even though she and Clark were not quite that comfortable
with each other yet, they were getting there. She wanted this.
She wanted what they had more than anything and for once, she
believed it was possible.

They just had to get Lex Luthor out of their lives once and for
all.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Clark said softly as he wrapped his
arm around her shoulders on the couch where they both still sat.

"Just thinking about how effortless your parents' marriage
seems," Lois replied. "But I know it isn't effortless. I know
now that it's taken years for them to get to a point where it
seems that way. I guess I was just realising that I didn't know
that before, you know? I just thought that if it was right it
would just fall into place, but it doesn't work that way, does
it?"

"No, I don't think it does," Clark mused. "But if it helps, I
guess I thought the same as you did. That because I love you so
much, our relationship would just...work. I think it's why I
tried to rush it the way I did. Once you knew my secret, I felt
that the last hurdle was gone. We were free to be together...to
have the forever I always knew I wanted with you, but --"

"We couldn't just pass go and collect our $200," Lois replied
with a nod. "I know. I'm glad, though. I think I like putting
in the work. I got to know you first as a friend and partner. And
then when I discovered your secret, I got to know you all over
again. And we had to get to know each other as romantic partners.
We've been learning so much about each other these past few
days, and I've loved every second of it."

"Me too," Clark said as he pulled her close for a soft,
lingering kiss. "Almost-living together has been pretty
wonderful."

"Seeing you naked doesn't hurt either," Lois said with an
impish grin. "Finding out the suit does in fact come off has
been pretty amazing."

"Lois, my parents might hear you!" Clark exclaimed, looking
both mildly scandalised and slightly embarrassed by the
compliment.

"Only if your mom has super hearing as well," Lois replied.
"And I'm not fully convinced she doesn't. Are you sure she's
not from Krypton too?"

"No, definitely Kansas," he said with a laugh. "She's just
very perceptive. And I gather from the look on your face when I
came back into the room that whatever she said must have given
you...peace?"

"She's not the only one that's perceptive," Lois observed.
"But yes, peace. I'm getting there. Thanks to you and your
parents."

"What time should we head back tomorrow?" Clark wondered,
giving the clock another quick glance.

"Later," Lois replied. "I'm in no hurry. There's really only
one thing I need to do. Otherwise, I think we are set for the
press conference."

"I want you with Henderson," Clark said. "When I take down
Mills, I mean. I know you'll want to be there, but I need to
know you're safe. Otherwise I can't --"

"I know," she interrupted softly, and a sense of knowing seemed
to pass between them as Lois came to a fuller and richer
understanding of the burden he carried and the lives that
depended on him including her own. His shoulders seemed to sag
with relief and the two of them settled into a comfortable
silence, letting the peaceful sounds of the countryside wash over
them as they felt their troubles melt away.

The following morning they awoke early and took their time in
getting ready to leave. Martha made the most incredible pancakes
from scratch. Lois raised an eyebrow at Clark as she watched him
pour syrup all over his fourth helping. Though she knew he could
eat whatever he liked, she had never seen him eat so much all in
one sitting. It dawned on her that he had perhaps modified the
amount he ate in front of her and other people in order to seem
more 'normal'. It was likely so ingrained in him, that even
though they were 'almost living together', he continued to do
it.

But here, on the farm...he was home. This was the place he felt
most comfortable, surrounded by the people who accepted and loved
him unconditionally and had always done so. And now she was
included among them.

It also occurred to Lois that perhaps the reason he hadn't truly
allowed himself to feel this comfortable while they were 'almost
living together' was because he was in her apartment -- her
home. Where they were going to live after the wedding was still a
vague question mark. They had agreed to move the things she
planned to keep into his apartment at first because it was
larger, but hadn't decided anything beyond that. And up until
now, she had been okay with that. The future, after all, was full
of change and Lois was not a fan.

But now, she was looking forward to it. Instead of fearing all
the changes to come, she welcomed them.

"Lois, honey, you've barely touched your second helping,"
Martha observed. "Are you full? I can put them in a container
for you, though whether they'll survive the flight, is anyone's
guess. Clark might just snatch them right out of your hand."

"I promise to behave myself," Clark said with a wink in Lois'
direction that said otherwise.

"They're delicious, Martha," Lois insisted, shoving a forkful
into her mouth. "I'm sorry, I was just thinking...about
pancakes."

"Uh-huh," Martha said, eyes twinkling. Lois was saved any
further reply as Jonathan came into the kitchen, having completed
the morning chores for the farm and eagerly helped himself to
what was left of the pancakes.

Lois watched as the chatter resumed, still thinking about the
wedding and the questions that lay beyond it. She suddenly found
herself realising she didn't want to decide which of her
possessions she wanted to discard or keep as she moved her things
into Clark's apartment. She wanted the two of them to sit down
and decide which bits and bobs of both their lives they would
transfer over to a place that was neither his nor hers, and, if
necessary, buy new things they could use to furnish it together.

She didn't want to live in his apartment or for him to live in
hers. She wanted a home that belonged to both of them. A home
with a guest room for when Clark's parents came to visit, where
Clark could eat as many helpings of food as he wanted and where
they could maybe someday start a family.

It was with these thoughts in mind that they said their goodbyes
eventually to Martha and Jonathan and began their flight back
towards Metropolis.

"You've been quiet all morning," Clark commented as they flew
slowly above the clouds. "What's on your mind?"

"Family," Lois said as she snuggled in closer against his
chest. He didn't say anything more, and Lois wondered if he was
thinking the same thoughts she was.

***

Chapter 29

They didn't make it into work until late afternoon. When they
did finally arrive, the first thing they noticed was Jimmy and
Claude sitting hunched over the tracker while they organised all
the evidence they had collected on the Vice President of the
United States, ready to hand over to Henderson the next day. Lois
felt a small pang of guilt for not having been there to help
them, then reminded herself that they were likely safer here
without her.

She also realised that if Lex had spies watching the *Planet*,
their presence would be known to him very soon. It was best they
stay as far out of Jimmy and Claude's way while they finished up
as possible.

With that in mind, she gave a nod to both of them and headed to
her desk where she and Clark spent the rest of the afternoon
organising their own notes and writing up the preliminary story,
which they would edit later after the arrest had already taken
place -- assuming everything all went to plan, they wouldn't
have to change anything. But Lois knew better than to assume.

She managed to lose herself in her work for an hour or so before
Claude came over to inform them that he was doing his usual lunch
run, asking if she or Clark wanted anything. She and Clark both
gave him their orders and he left.

"He's made himself awfully useful," Clark commented as they
waited for their food. Lois nodded.

"He has a lot to make up for," Lois replied, thinking back to
their conversation and the apology he offered her. "He knows
that. I think he's trying, though."

"I can't pretend I will ever like him, knowing how he hurt
you," Clark said, his voice quiet and contemplative. "But I
think I can understand the desire to make up for past sins."

"Yes," Lois said, feeling slightly dazed with a sudden flash of
understanding. She knew exactly what Clark was talking about.
Wasn't that what she'd been trying so hard to do ever since the
original Lex fiasco? Make things right? Not just to Clark, though
there was a certain degree of guilt there for not believing him
about Lex in the first place, but more than anything, she'd been
trying to find a way to redeem herself -- so that when she looked
in the mirror, she would no longer see the woman who had almost
married a cold-blooded killer. She would no longer see the woman
who had hurt the only man she truly loved because she was scared
to trust something real. She would be free.

She wanted to be free.

"Lois, you okay?" Clark was asking.

"Hmm?" she replied, her mind still elsewhere with thoughts too
complex for the newsroom.

"You zoned out on me there," he said, his brow crinkled ever so
slightly.

"I was just thinking," Lois murmured, "about forgiveness.
About how sometimes the hardest person to forgive is yourself.
Clark, I don't think it's my forgiveness Claude is looking
for."

"What makes you say that?" Clark wondered, sounding curious.
Lois gave him a small smile and squeezed his hand.

"Gut feeling."

"Well, I know better than to go against your gut." His tone was
light, but the meaning behind his eyes was clear.

Before she could respond, the elevator doors opened and Claude
exited, heading in their direction with the sandwiches they'd
ordered. Lois touched Clark's shoulder and stood up.

"Can I talk to you?" she asked Claude as she gestured to the
conference room. He looked surprised, but nodded, handing Clark
his sandwich and not making eye contact.

Lois led the way, and when they found themselves alone in the
room, Lois suddenly had no idea what to say.

"Was there something you needed?" Claude asked her, frowning
slightly after a moment of silence.

"No, it's just..." she trailed off, trying to form the
thoughts that were just racing through her head not thirty
seconds ago. She eventually realised that she couldn't
articulate them even if she'd wanted to. The thoughts themselves
were gone -- ephemeral and intangible, but the feeling remained.
She trusted herself. She trusted her instincts. She knew what she
had to do.

"I just wanted to let you know that I've decided what I am
going to do with Lex's money," she told him, her voice
businesslike, lest he get the wrong idea. "I'm going to use
some of it to buy back Dupont Airlines."

"You're..." Claude looked stunned. He couldn't have looked
more surprised if she'd announced to him that she was planning
to leave the *Planet* and become a singing waitress. "You're
what?"

"Buying back your company," she repeated. She was slightly
amused by the shock on his face, but didn't let it show. "I
will transfer the shares over to you. Your family will own it
outright once more."

"But...but why?" he asked, his voice having gone up an octave.
He looked almost nervous. As if he was waiting for the other shoe
to drop.

"Because it's the right thing to do," she said, speaking
slowly and deliberately. "Because it will help to destroy Lex's
hold over people. Because I plan to do the same for every company
Lex has bought out under a false name, and because your family
did not hurt me. They shouldn't be the ones to suffer."

"That's..." He blinked again, still looking rather stunned.
She watched as he fumbled for words, and eventually, as if
realising that no words would be suitable, said the only thing
that came to mind. "Thank you."

"Don't thank me," Lois replied, her tone somewhat brusque. "I
am not doing this for you. But you *are* going to do something
for me."

"What can I --"

"After Lex is brought down once and for all, I am going to go
into Perry's office and tell him that I wrote the story that you
won that Kerth award for," Lois told him, her tone
matter-of-fact and leaving no room for debate. "I'm telling you
not because I want your permission or your blessing, but simply
to give you the courtesy of not being blindsided if and when
Perry confronts you."

Looking over at him sitting there, she noticed him wince at the
mention of Perry. Even now, though he didn't work for the
*Planet*, Perry seemed to inspire a certain level of respect.
Lois had been in Perry's doghouse a time or two and she knew
first hand that, like a loving, but strict parent, Perry's anger
was not nearly as bad as his disappointment. And Perry would be
both angry and disappointed in Claude. Then, as if wanting to
remind Claude that lying was useless, she spoke again.

"Perry will believe me. I know this now. I should have known it
then." She sighed and watched as Claude sank into the nearest
chair. "Don't try to deny it. For both our sakes. You'll only
make it worse."

"And that's what you want me to do?" Claude asked her,
suddenly looking even older and far more tired than she'd ever
seen him. She shook her head.

"No, that's what you're going to do," she said. "What I want
you to do...the favour I will ask of you once this is all over,
is that you tender your resignation from your newspaper once you
return home and leave the field of journalism for good."

Claude's head shot up in surprise, maybe in shock.

"You want me to --"

"Quit your job as a journalist," she repeated. "What you did
when you stole my story was bad enough, but you won an award for
it and still you didn't come clean. You've built your career on
a lie -- a career that is supposed to be built on honesty and
truth. How can the public have any faith in us if we don't live
that truth every day? Not to mention that once it becomes known
that you stole my story -- a story that won you an award, you may
end up being fired by your paper anyway. This way you would get
to leave on your own terms."

Claude nodded, his shoulders slumped in resignation. He looked
defeated, and for some reason that didn't make her happy, nor
did it make her sad.

"What will I do with myself?" he asked, but more to himself
than to anyone else. And this time, Lois did allow herself to
feel a flash of anger.

"That's not my problem," she replied, her voice tight. "But
you will thankfully have a family company that you can go and
work for, should you choose, which is more than most get."

"You're right," he agreed, standing up and straightening his
shoulders. "For what it's worth, I *am* sorry. And...thank
you."

He was at the door before she could respond, exiting into the
bullpen while she finally allowed herself to sink down into the
chair, trying to figure out what exactly she was feeling and
whether it was positive or negative.

She didn't even notice that Clark had come in until the sound of
a chair scraping beside her caused her to look up and into his
warm, loving eyes. He smiled and all was right with the world
again.

"Everything okay?" he asked softly. She nodded, but said
nothing. Clark reached for her hand and squeezed it softly.
"Just remember, if you want me to give him a very gentle
non-Superman punch in the nose, I will."

He gave her an endearingly boyish grin that somehow caused her
stomach to flutter in a way that seemed unique only to him.

"I appreciate the offer," she said, shooting him a slightly
mischievous grin of her own. "But I think there are better uses
of your time."

"Oh?" Clark said, raising an eyebrow. She found her gaze drift
down to his soft, full lips -- lips she knew to be capable of
making her feel incredible things and her heartbeat just a little
bit faster. "And what can I do to make better use of my time?"

"Kiss me," Lois murmured. "I'd always rather have you kissing
me."

The words were barely out of her mouth when he took her face in
his hands and kissed her thoroughly and in a way that promised so
much more than he was able to give in this moment.

She sighed as they finally parted.

"Suppose we have to join the real world, now?" she asked him.

He nodded and took her hand.

"For a few more hours," he said, as he led her to the door of
the conference room. Then, leaning over, he murmured in her ear
in a tone that caused her entire body to come to life. "But I
promise, when I get you home, you're all mine."

***

Chapter 30

Clark made good on his promise, and under any other
circumstances, she would have slept soundly, his body wrapped
around her like a shield. But on this particular night, her sleep
was fitful and broken, her anxiety over what was to happen the
following day invading her every thought.

The sunlight streaming into the windows broke her out of a
troubled sleep, and she sat up, yawning deeply and following the
smell of fresh coffee that she could hear bubbling in the
kitchen.

Though Clark was awake, he too looked tired and apprehensive. The
press conference started in two hours. If everything was to go to
plan, the President would be inviting the Vice President into his
office for a last-minute debrief while Lois and Clark drank their
coffee. He would then be arrested and detained in the
Presidential Suite of the Lexor hotel until Mills was in custody
and Lex could do no more harm.

Though Lois knew their plan was solid, the idea that something
might go wrong was omnipresent.

Clark sat a cup of coffee down in front of her in his wobbly mug.
He must have noticed the worry in her eyes because when he spoke,
his voice was calm and reassuring, though the expression on his
face wasn't entirely convincing.

"I flew by Mills' place today. He was getting his weapons
ready. It didn't look like he was aware anything was amiss."

"Good," Lois said, only slightly mollified. Second thoughts
were swirling through her mind. "Are we doing the right thing,
Clark?"

"What do you mean?" Clark asked, his eyebrows knit together in
a frown.

"Well, the President might be a hologram, but the people there
for the conference won't be. What if something goes wrong and
Mills shoots someone?"

"He won't," Clark replied, and this time he *did* sound a bit
more confident. "I'm not going to let Mills get the chance."

Lois felt a bit more reassured by the determination in Clark's
eyes. She knew how keenly he felt the burden of responsibility
that was being Superman on a day to day basis. It was times like
this that the feeling must be magnified ten-fold.

She took another sip of her coffee and checked the time.

"Oh no, Henderson will be here in twenty minutes, I've got to
get ready!" she exclaimed as she jumped up, nearly spilling the
contents of the wobbly mug all over the table.

She rushed into her bedroom and flung on the first pantsuit she
could find, noting that Clark hadn't changed. She knew it was
because the moment Henderson arrived to escort her to the outdoor
convention centre stage, where the President was supposed to be
giving his speech, Clark would spin into the suit and Superman
would follow Mills. No point getting dressed when you're just
going to change again. Even if you could change at super speed.

She emerged from the bedroom running a brush frantically through
her hair before racing into the bathroom to brush her teeth and
promising herself she would shower after the press conference.
Clark had used his heat vision to toast a bagel for her and was
spreading cream cheese on it as she looked around for her purse
and keys.

A knock sounded on the door a few moments later, just as Lois had
taken her first bite of the bagel. She watched as he scanned the
door and gave her a nod to let her know that it was, indeed,
Henderson.

Henderson entered and quickly took stock of the apartment as he
said hello. Lois realised it must be weird for him to be in her
home -- like seeing a teacher outside of school. Pleasantries
exchanged, things quickly became awkward.

"I have an unmarked car across the street," Henderson told her,
likely to break the tension. "We'll take it to the press
conference and you'll stay with me to the left of the stage
while Superman arrests Mills. It should be an easy bust. We got
the Vice President this morning. He confessed everything."

"Good," Clark said with a nod. "I'll be right behind you. I
just need to stop at the *Planet* and file last night's story
with Perry."

"Might be all over by the time you get there," Henderson
warned. "If everything goes to plan and Superman does his job,
then the hologram of the President will cancel the press
conference because of an upset stomach and it will be
rescheduled. Likely people will be leaving when you arrive."

"We should get going," Lois interrupted, hoping Henderson
wouldn't ask too many questions about why it was so important
for Clark to file his story this early in the morning. Henderson
nodded to her relief, and Lois gave Clark a quick kiss on the
lips. She wanted to say more but didn't want to express what she
was feeling in front of Henderson. Thankfully, the look in
Clark's eyes said everything she needed to hear.

*It will be okay.*

She kept that thought in her mind as they walked towards
Henderson's unmarked police car and got in. The ride to the
venue was silent. Lois got the feeling Henderson wasn't much for
small talk, and she wasn't sure what she would say to him even
if he was. Mercifully, the ride was also brief, and Lois felt
nerves gather in her stomach as they made their way to the right
side of the stage. Several other police officers personally
vetted by Henderson himself were standing there, and as they
closed ranks around her, Lois wondered if this was what
politicians and celebrities felt like every day.

She dismissed the thought almost immediately, thinking that it
was likely something they were used to. She herself was somewhat
of a public figure because of the Lane and Kent billboards as
well as the original Lex Luthor scandal, and thus was
occasionally recognised getting her morning coffee or running
errands, but it was nothing compared to the security and scrutiny
that followed someone like the President. She was grateful for
that.

In no time at all, everyone had taken their seats, and it
occurred to Lois that at this very moment, Clark was hovering
somewhere above Mills, waiting to see him pull out a gun before
swooping down to apprehend him.

A moment later, a hush fell over the crowd as the Mayor of
Metropolis walked onto the stage. Her heart began to race. It was
the Mayor's job to introduce the President, which meant that in
just a few more moments, Lex Luthor would be finished for good.

She didn't hear a word the Mayor said, but eventually the
applause told her he was finished and she watched, hands shaking,
as the Mayor left the stage. Moments later, the President's
hologram walked on. She watched as he headed to the microphone
and saw behind him that one of Henderson's men was getting a
message relayed to them via a walkie talkie. The hologram
appeared to be clearing his throat as one of the men gave a nod
and eventually the hologram spoke.

"Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for coming out today. I
appreciate your interest in these talks and what they mean for
our two nations. Unfortunately, I don't appear to be feeling
very well. Nothing serious, just some breakfast that didn't
agree with me. I think it's best we reschedule this press
conference for when I am at my best. I thank you all for your
understanding."

Without waiting to take any questions from reporters, who all
started clamouring at once for more information, the hologram
turned and exited the stage. Lois let out a breath she hadn't
even realised she was holding and shot a look at Henderson who
looked equally surprised it had actually worked.

"We should get backstage," Henderson said to her as people
began to head back to their cars. Lois followed Henderson as he
headed behind the stage and she fought the urge to run up and
fling her arms around Clark, who stood there in the iconic red
and blue suit, handing Mills over to Henderson's men along with
the high-powered sniper rifle he'd brought with him to do the
job.

"I flew by the President's Suite and checked on him to make
sure he was safe," she overheard him saying to the men.
"Everything was fine."

"We can't thank you enough, Superman," Henderson said as they
arrived and Clark noticed Lois. There was a softening in his
expression meant only for her -- something so small that only
someone who knew what to look for would see it. She gave him a
meaningful look in return and knew he had understood.

"Superman," she said, making her way towards him. "Could I get
a statement for the *Planet*?"

"Absolutely," he replied, his tone serious but his eyes warm.
He looked over at Henderson then and spoke to him. "Why don't I
escort Miss Lane back to the *Planet*? That way you can
personally make sure Mills ends up in the least comfortable jail
cell at the precinct."

"Sounds great, Superman," Henderson replied with a nod. "And
thank you again for all your help."

Lois waited while the police, led by Henderson, left and fought
the urge to collapse into Clark's arms.

"Thank God it all worked out," she murmured under her breath.
"Are we really going to go back to the *Planet* right now?"

Clark shook his head. "I'll fly us over the precinct to make
sure that nothing goes wrong booking Mills into custody and then
we will go home. I think we've earned some rest."

"Yes," Lois said softly, thinking of how utterly perfect it
would feel to be curled up in bed with Clark's arms holding her
tightly for the rest of the day. "Let's go home."

***

Chapter 31

When they arrived back at Lois' apartment later that day, she
felt both exhilarated and exhausted. The President was safe, and
tomorrow the whole country would know via a *Daily Planet* Lane
and Kent exclusive, that the Vice President had been arrested for
conspiring to assassinate the President along with a host of
other charges. Lex Luthor would also have more charges brought
against him, and this time, there would be no judges in his
pocket or people under his thumb to help him weasel out.

She would need to hire someone to handle the money and buy back
all the companies that Lex took over or bought out. That would
take time, but it would be worth it. Lois had been too tired to
talk to Perry about her stolen story, but made a mental note to
do so the next day. It would be a difficult conversation --
especially when it came to explaining to Perry why she hadn't
come forward back then, but it was necessary.

Claude would be returning home, though when, she wasn't entirely
sure. He wouldn't have any work to do now, since the trade talks
between the US and France were to be cancelled and an
investigation launched into the French authorities behind it.

Lois felt oddly unsure of what to do with herself as they both
kicked off their shoes and she went into the bedroom to change
into something more casual. Though they hadn't put any specific
time limit on their practice run at living together, Lois had
somewhat assumed that once the story was finished and the
President safe, Clark would return to his own apartment and they
would make their wedding preparations living separately.

She wasn't sure why she'd been operating under that assumption
-- certainly nothing Clark had said had given her that
impression. Maybe it was simply that the timing of their
agreement had coincided with the threat to the President and Lex
Luthor's return.

Now that she felt she was truly starting to heal, she realised
she didn't need to practise living with Clark. She knew it would
work -- that they would work. And yet she wanted to continue
practising.

She listened as Clark clattered around in the kitchen while she
pulled on a pair of shorts and slipped a t-shirt on. She opted
not to bother with a bra, loving the fact that she felt
comfortable enough with the boundaries she and Clark had
established that she knew he wouldn't see it as an invitation.
And there were times it would be -- an explicit one -- but not at
this specific moment.

They'd spent a few nights exploring what gave them both
pleasure, and Lois had a feeling that with the threat of Lex
Luthor behind them, they were both ready to take the next step,
and she wanted to, but she also knew that, despite the fact that
it was only mid-afternoon, it had been an emotionally exhausting
day and she wanted some time to relax with Clark before they had
that conversation.

She made her way back into the living area to find Clark had
helped himself to an apple, cut it up and offered her a slice out
of the bowl. Something about the gesture made her heart clench.
She wasn't sure why. He'd made her food before in her kitchen
-- both when they were living separately and over the last week.
But something about this moment -- this snack that he made
himself and casually offered to share told her that their lives
were fully integrated in a way she hadn't anticipated. It had
all happened so organically that she had missed it. Or thought
she had.

She declined the apple, and watched with some amusement and
affection as he ate it at super speed. She was about to suggest
they lie together and cuddle when an all-too-familiar look stole
quickly across her fiance's face. He gave her a slightly pained
and apologetic look.

"Lois, I'm sorry, but there's an apartment fire and..."

"Go. I'll be here waiting," she said softly. He nodded, and
without further comment had spun into the suit and flown out her
living room window. Lois gave a small sigh and decided to make
herself a cup of tea while she waited for him to return. She
opted not to close the window, as the day was warm and she hoped
he would be back soon. In the meantime, she was grateful for the
way the curtain sheers fluttered softly with the breeze.

Tea made, she was about to curl up on the couch with a book that
had been neglected for the better part of a month when someone
knocked on the door. She reluctantly stood up, and unlocked the
door, assuming it was someone from the police department wanting
a statement. It wasn't until she began to open the door that she
remembered that she and Clark had already told Henderson they
would give a statement the following day.

Before she could even attempt to close the door, however, a tall,
lean body pushed back against the door frame, and her eyes
widened with shock as she looked up to see the face of Lex Luthor
forcing himself inside her apartment.

Unable to prevent him from fully entering, she backed up and
glanced around the apartment, immediately looking for something
-- anything -- that she could use as a weapon. There was
nothing.

He shut the door behind him, and as he did so, she noticed that
he only used one hand. In his other hand, he held a gun and it
was pointing straight at her. His eyes met hers and Lois
shuddered at the terrifyingly crazed look in them. He was armed
and she...she didn't even have on a bra. He could kill her
or...No. She wouldn't think about that. She wouldn't think
about how totally and completely vulnerable she was.

"Hello, Lois," he said, his voice soft, despite the wildness in
his expression. He glanced inside, as if looking for something or
someone. Clark. He had to be looking for Clark. And she had to
stall for time. As much time as she could.

"Lex...how..."

"Did I get out of prison?" He sighed as if disappointed in her.
"I told you, there were guards loyal to me and a warden who
would look the other way. You really should have listened when I
told you that those walls wouldn't hold me for long."

"But you don't have your --"

"Money?" Lex interrupted. His eyes flashed dangerously and Lois
cursed herself for her misstep. Bringing up the fact that she'd
moved the money out of the account he'd set up was not a smart
move. "Yes, you did leave me in a bit of a bind, didn't you?
Thankfully my escape was planned long before the warden and
guards knew that you'd stolen the funds I was using to pay them,
or that the Vice President had been arrested. They assumed my
pardon was forthcoming, which was lucky for me. But very unlucky
for you and Mr. Kent. Where is he, by the way?"

"He went to the store to get bread," Lois lied. Her hands shook
and she tried to hide them behind her back as she took stock of
what she could use to defend herself if it came to it. She
wouldn't have enough time to get to the kitchen to grab the
knife that Clark had used to cut the apple. The umbrella stand
where her umbrella sat was directly behind where Lex currently
stood. There was nothing she could use to defend herself with if
he pulled the trigger and Clark was still gone. Even if she
called for him, he wouldn't get back in time. And Lex knew it.

"Pity," Lex replied with a frown. "I wanted to kill him. But I
suppose I'll have to settle for --"

"Killing me?" Lois blurted out. She immediately regretted it as
he fixed her with yet another unhinged look.

"Now that depends on you, Lois." He would have sounded entirely
reasonable were it not for that look in his eye -- the look that
told her all bets were off. A week ago, she'd been relatively
confident when she'd told Clark that Lex's obsession with her
would prevent him from committing violence, but now...well, now
she knew that if he truly believed there was no chance between
them, that he would kill her without a second thought. It chilled
her to the bone.

"How does that depend on me?" Lois asked. She already knew the
answer, but her goal right now was to buy herself some time.
Clark would be back as soon as he finished his rescue. She only
hoped it was the only rescue he needed to attend to. Keep Lex
talking, by any means necessary...that's what she needed to do.

"Well, one way or another, I am going to get my money back from
you. Now, you can either help me willingly, or you can do
so...unwillingly. And I truly hope you come willingly. You
look...radiant."

The way he said the last word caused her face to drain entirely
of colour. She wanted to cry, but instead she held herself
together. She backed up even further and glanced towards the
window in the living room silently wondering if she would be able
to climb out the window before he could shoot her. Dropping down
the fire escape was risky, but if she could get somewhere
public...

"Don't even think about it," he admonished gently. "You'd be
dead before you could blink."

"If you kill me, how will you get your money?" Lois asked,
unable to prevent the tremble in her voice.

"I suppose I won't," he replied with a shrug. It was the shrug
that truly terrified her. If he was that blase about potentially
losing two hundred million dollars, then he really wouldn't
hesitate to shoot her. She had to get Clark's attention somehow.
Now.

"That's a lot of money to lose," she replied, trying and
failing to sound casual. "How do you expect to convince me to go
with you?" She watched as Lex moved slowly towards her, like a
predator stalking his prey.

"I plan to appeal to your generous nature," Lex replied with a
smile that would look perfectly at home on a python. "After all,
it's in both our interests for you to come with me right now."

Lois' gaze settled on the wobbly mug that had been left out on
the coffee table close to where Lex was currently standing. If
she could get to it, she might be able to use it as a weapon. It
looked to be solid enough that if aimed correctly at Lex's head,
could potentially knock him out. Lois was certain that Martha
Kent would see no better purpose for the mug. The trick was to
get there. Slowly, she started inching towards Lex, all the while
thinking, *keep him talking.*

"How is it in my best interest to help you at all?" She took a
small step. "Surely you must know by now that the police know
you're missing." Another small step. "The warden will likely
already be in police custody, and once he realises the money is
gone, he will turn on you." Yet one more. He still hadn't
noticed. Or didn't care. She wasn't sure which scared her
more.

"All the more reason you should want to help me," Lex replied,
waving the gun in a vaguely threatening way. "A man who has
nothing left to lose is the most dangerous kind in the world. And
sooner or later, Mr. Kent will be back with the bread. Don't
think for a second I won't hesitate to shoot him the moment he
walks in the door. In fact, I will relish it."

His eyes gleamed as he spoke, and Lois knew he was telling the
truth. Though she was grateful that normal bullets couldn't hurt
Clark, kryptonite could and Lex knew it. The only advantage they
had was that he didn't know Clark's secret but that would end
the moment he attempted to shoot him and failed.

She took another step and tried to sound more confident than she
felt.

"So, what...I go with you and you spare Clark?" She took
another step. Almost there. Just one more. "Do you honestly
think the police won't catch you? It took me three days to
withdraw that money from the account you set up. I can't do it
again without raising some eyebrows. You have to know that."

"Oh I do," Lex replied softly. "Just as I also know that the
moment you get the chance to, you will call for Superman. I have
a contingency plan. I *always* have a contingency plan. Surely
you must know this by now, my dear. I have kryptonite. Lots of
it. And a place to hide. Do you remember that bunker I built? The
one that was an exact replica of your apartment? Do you think
that was the only one?"

She took another step, and did not break eye contact, though the
surprise she felt at this statement clearly showed on her face.
He smiled smugly and Lois knew that he hadn't noticed her
movements. Her hands closed over the mug. He still hadn't
noticed.

"Oh, yes," he all but purred. "I have somewhere for the two of
us to go where we will be quite hidden. I've had all my bases
covered since --"

His words were cut off by the sudden and sharp blow that Lois
delivered to the side of his head courtesy of the wobbly mug. He
gave a cry of surprise and shock, dropping the gun and stumbling
backwards as the mug broke and his head began to bleed.

Lois leaped forward and shoved him back as she dove for the gun.
Her fingers had almost closed over it when she felt his hands
close around the back of her ankle, yanking her backwards just
enough that the gun was out of reach. Lois flipped around onto
her back and shoved her foot into his face with all the force she
had. She heard a sickening crack as her foot made contact with
his nose and more blood gushed forwards.

Both of them scrambled to their feet and Lois accidentally kicked
the gun even further back with her heel towards the wall near the
open window. She backed up further, wanting to be able to turn
around and grab the gun, but too afraid to take her eyes off of
Lex, who lurched drunkenly towards her, incandescent with rage.

"You'll regret that," he growled, and Lois backed up another
few steps until she felt the curtain sheers gently flutter
against her. The window was right behind her and she could see
the gun to the left of her, out of the corner of her eye. Lex
thankfully hadn't managed to locate it. She knew that the only
way she could keep him from finding it was to keep him mad. She
could fight him one-on-one if she had to. She'd already managed
to wound him, and she merely had to stall for time. She could do
this. And part of her wanted to do this. She just needed to keep
him from getting the gun until Clark --

Oh no. Kryptonite. He said he had kryptonite. Did he have it on
him? She couldn't risk finding out. She had to somehow stop him
before Clark got back.

*Taunt him. Distract him. Keep him mad.*

"What's the matter, Lex? Is the honeymoon over?" she taunted,
keeping her voice as level as possible. He was facing her now,
and still hadn't noticed the gun. She knew if she moved towards
it, he would see it too and could potentially get there before
her. "Did you really think I was going to come with you?
Willingly?"

"You loved me once," he insisted, though now he didn't sound
so sure. She kept eye contact as he inched closer to her. The
lower half of his face was stained red with the blood from his
nose, and his head wound bled freely. He looked almost demonic
and Lois had to remind herself that she knew some martial arts
and he was injured. It was as close to a fair fight as she was
going to get.

"I never loved you," Lois replied, spitting the words out as
savagely as she could. "I loved Clark. It was always Clark. You
were a mistake...an aberration of my sanity."

"You're lying!" he yelled, this time a bit louder and with a
bit less control. He moved a step closer, and she realised that
being right up against the open window was her best advantage.
"We were happy. We were in love. You've been brainwashed by
that...Kent, but you'll love me again. I can *make* you love
me."

"You can't make anyone love you, Lex," Lois said. She would
have felt sad for him, were it not for the fact that he was
completely deranged and utterly psychotic. "You've never loved
anything or anyone in your life. You don't know how to do
anything but control people. But I am done letting you control
me. I would rather die than go anywhere with you."

"I can arrange that," he hissed, lunging towards her. In his
rage, he was clumsy and slow, which gave her the advantage,
allowing her the time she needed to leap out of the way, knocking
him forwards as she dove to the left where the gun still lay.

She picked it up and rounded on him, only to see that he'd
gotten tangled in her curtain sheers. Before she could even
process what was happening, he fell backwards, grabbing onto the
sheers as he fell out the window and hurtled down the three-story
building head first.

The sound of his body hitting the concrete followed by the
screams of passers-by told her everything she needed to know.

Dead. He was dead.

And yet, despite knowing this, she looked anyway. The sight of it
almost made her physically sick.

Blood. There was so much blood. She hadn't realised the human
body had so much to spill, and yet it did so freely, staining the
sidewalk a deep crimson she wasn't sure would ever come out.

She drew back from the window, the gun clattering to the ground
as she sank to her knees, dry heaving and retching. The room
seemed to spin and she felt herself growing lightheaded, putting
her head between her knees as she fought to keep from passing
out.

The whoosh of Clark's return sounded oddly far away and she
barely noticed as he lifted her into his arms. His face swam in
front of her and though he was speaking to her, he sounded as if
he were underwater. Eventually, she was able to make out bits and
pieces.

"...okay? Lois? Lois..."

"'M okay," she managed to say, "but Lex he...he..."

"I know," Clark said, coming more sharply into focus. Her
thoughts returned to her and Clark -- seeing she was more in
control of herself -- set her down on the couch. He then made his
way over to the phone and picked it up, dialling 911. She barely
paid attention to the conversation that followed and didn't even
notice as Clark changed out of the suit and into a t-shirt and
jeans.

It wasn't until he picked up the gun and gently set it down on
the coffee table, that her entire body began to tremble. She
hadn't even noticed she was crying until the tears landed on her
hands and her vision blurred. He was next to her instantly,
pulling her close while she shook softly against him.

"Is he really...?"

"Yeah," Clark replied, and for once she wasn't sure what he
was feeling. "I...Superman saw him fall."

"He came in here while you were gone," she sobbed. "He had a
gun and he wanted to...but I fought back and then he got caught
in the curtains and...and I..."

"You didn't kill him," Clark reassured her. "It was an
accident. And I am so glad it was, because if I'd gotten here a
moment sooner I might have --"

"No," Lois interrupted, shaking her head through her tears.
"You...you wouldn't...you couldn't...you..." She wasn't sure
why, but she didn't want to hear him say the words out loud,
despite knowing deep down in her gut that they were true.
Superman wouldn't kill. It was against his moral code, but Clark
where Lex was concerned?

"I'm sorry," he said, sounding on the verge of panic. "I
didn't mean to upset you. I just feel so helpless. I wasn't
here. He got to you, and I wasn't here. Again."

"Not your fault," she said, shaking her head violently as if to
dispel the image of Lex's body from her mind. She couldn't make
sense of her emotions. One moment she was feeling the most
intense guilt she'd ever felt and the next, she felt so panicked
and scared she didn't think she would ever stop shaking. She
felt intense relief but also anger. She had no idea which emotion
was dominant at any given time and barely noticed as Clark pulled
her back into his arms, holding her and murmuring his love as
fiercely as he could in an attempt to keep the demons at bay.

She had no idea how much time passed as they sat there.
Eventually, a knock at the door shook them both out of their
stupor. Clark scanned it and stood up.

"It's Henderson," he told her gently, looking completely
helpless. She knew he wanted to answer the door and tell
Henderson not to bother them, but she also knew that wasn't
possible. Lex Luthor had attacked her and now he was dead. She
was going to have to pull herself together and answer some very
difficult questions.

"It's okay," she said, grabbing a nearby tissue and attempting
to clean her face. "It's okay, I...you can let him in."

***

Chapter 32

Henderson and his men took their time, not leaving Lois'
apartment until well after the sun had set. Not once during those
several hours that Henderson and the other officers were there,
had he treated her like a potential criminal despite the fact
that there were no witnesses to say that Lex had fallen and not
been pushed out the window. Given her history with Lex Luthor,
Lois felt that it would only make sense for her to be considered
the prime suspect, but Henderson did not behave as if he believed
her to be anyone other than a witness. He simply had his men
cordon off the scene, gather evidence and eventually take Lex's
body to the morgue.

Clark had, at that point, insisted that one of Henderson's men
go with the ambulance and station himself with the body. Given
what had happened the last time Lex was thought to be dead,
Henderson didn't argue.

Meanwhile, inside the apartment, Lois had sat and told Henderson
her story with a sort of numb detachment while his men mapped out
the sequence of events using the physical evidence available.
They took a few samples of the blood on the carpet from where
Lois had hit him, and had confiscated what was left of the wobbly
mug along with the gun he'd brought with him. These, Henderson
had assured her, would help corroborate her account. Lois was
only too happy to cooperate in any way she could and too
exhausted to argue or cause Henderson the usual headaches.

She wondered if her docile behaviour was part of the reason
Henderson treated her with such kid gloves. He even offered to
put her kettle on, but Clark beat him to it. He'd stayed silent
the entire time Lois spoke. To the casual observer, he appeared
almost calm. But Lois could see the way he was gripping the couch
when he sat or the way he seemed to need to get up every few
moments either to get something to drink, make a snack for the
officers or some other task she knew could wait.

She knew that he was almost certainly beating himself up for not
being there, but she couldn't help but feel damn grateful for
that. One of Henderson's men had confirmed to Henderson that
Lex's body had kryptonite in his pocket. It had been taken
straight to Star Labs to be locked up with the other samples.
Knowing that it hadn't been an empty threat had caused her
entire body to go cold. She might have lost Clark if he'd been
there to try to save her.

No, it was better this way. Eventually, when there were no more
questions for Lois to answer, Clark had inquired as to whether
Lois was going to be charged with anything. Henderson had shaken
his head, and Lois felt tension leave her body she hadn't even
realised she'd been holding in.

"We don't see any reason to press charges at this time,"
Henderson said and Lois couldn't help but notice the gentleness
in his voice. "All the evidence checks out so far. We will just
need a statement from Superman, as you said he was the one to see
Luthor fall, correct?"

"Uh, yeah," Lois replied, cursing herself for mentioning that
detail. She'd been flustered and had almost said Clark's name
instead. "He had to attend to another rescue, so he couldn't
stay, but thankfully Clark arrived home around the same time."

"All the same, since he saw the fall, we'd like to speak with
him. I doubt a prosecutor will want to go anywhere near this case
if Superman's seal of approval is on it. Will you tell him to
come by the station if you see him?"

"Will do," Clark said with a nod. Lois felt slightly nauseous
as Henderson motioned to his officers that it was time to leave.
He got all the way to the door before turning to look at her once
more.

"It's just a formality, Lois," he assured her. "I have no
intention of taking this anywhere. You're not a murderer. The
only murderer in this scenario got what he deserved. I fully
believe that. Goodnight."

***

"You didn't kill him," Clark said, shutting the door after
Henderson and the other officers had left. He sat down next to
her on the couch. "It was an accident. Even Henderson thinks
so."

Lois knew he was telling the truth. Academically, she knew. She
had gone over the scene in her head and out loud to Henderson
over and over in the hours since it had happened. She'd done
what she'd had to do and she'd survived. What's more, she'd
protected Clark. And, if she was honest with herself, she felt
absolutely no sadness or remorse over the fact that Lex was dead.
Dead meant he couldn't hurt them anymore. Dead meant that she
and Clark could finally be at peace.

And yet, she worried that there was something wrong with her for
feeling this way. And, despite the fact that she did feel peace,
she also worried she would never get the image out of her head of
Lex's body on the pavement cracked and broken with blood pooling
around him.

She must have been in her own thoughts for too long because she
felt Clark pull her gently against his chest and her legs curled
underneath her automatically as she leaned into him.

"Did you hear me?" Clark asked softly, his breath warm against
the top of her head. "You didn't kill him."

"I know," was all she could think to say. There was just so
much. She no longer felt as if every emotion was swirling through
her like a tornado. Rather, it was the opposite. She felt numb
and detached -- as if everything had happened to a different Lois
Lane and she was sitting with Clark watching it all on
television. It certainly wouldn't be a family show at this
point. A viewer discretion warning would flash across the screen,
especially for the death scene.

"Do you..." Clark's voice cracked slightly, and it suddenly
occurred to her that he was likely feeling some pretty strong
emotions just as hers were numbing. "Do you want to talk about
it?"

"I..." Lois sat up and looked at him. "I don't know." She
looked away feeling somewhat ashamed, though she wasn't sure
why. She felt like there was some specific way she should be
acting and she was failing. Clark seemed to expect something from
her, though what that was she wasn't sure. She mumbled her next
words and broke eye contact, staring down at her hands. "I
don't know what I want."

"Do you want me to leave?" He spoke hesitantly, but she could
hear the fear in his voice. She looked up again and noticed for
the first time just how tense he was. His jaw was clenched and he
was sitting ramrod straight. Cold fear nestled in her stomach.
Did he think she was angry with him? She couldn't bear to think
that was the case, and yet he wasn't looking at her at the
moment. Was their practice arrangement about to come to an end?

"Of course not!" she exclaimed, reaching out and clasping his
hands. A former version of herself would have lashed out, but
Lois didn't have it in her to hide anymore. She'd fight for
Clark tooth and nail if she had to. "Why would you ever think
that I would want you to go?"

"Because you should!" he blurted out. He stood so quickly, she
almost fell off the couch, and he paced for a moment or two the
same way he'd done while she recounted the scene to Henderson.
"I wasn't here. I let my guard down and you --"

"No!" The ferocity in her voice caused his head to snap up and
he watched as she stood up and marched right over to him and took
his face in her hands. "You listen to me, Clark Kent. This is
the one and only time I am going to say this. I have had a really
traumatic day and I am not going to sit here after all of that
and listen to you blame yourself for what happened. I'm glad you
weren't here. Glad, and...and...relieved and so very very
thankful."

"You are?" Clark looked slightly stunned and, for the moment,
mollified.

"Of course I am!" she exclaimed, exasperated, and for the first
time since Henderson had left, felt a little like her old self.
"He had kryptonite on him! He was going to kill you and if he
hadn't, then you..."

She trailed off, not wanting to verbalise the worries that still
swirled in her head. Would Clark have killed to protect her? She
didn't know and she didn't want to know. And now she wouldn't
have to. She squared her shoulders and looked Clark in the eye.

"You're so used to saving me, Clark," she felt her voice waver
ever so slightly as she spoke. "It's all you've ever done. But
tonight, I saved myself. And I saved you and I am damn proud of
that, so I'd better not hear another word from you about how you
should have been here to protect me. We're partners and we
protect each other."

"I'm sorry," he apologised, his shoulders slumping slightly.
"You've had...the night from hell and I made this about me. I
don't know what I was thinking."

Her heart went out to him instantly. He looked the same way she
felt -- lost and unsure of what to do next. He folded her into
his arms and Lois felt some of the night's tension and numbness
slip away as he held her -- his heartbeat beating in sync with
her own.

"I love you," she murmured into the fabric of his shirt. "And
after everything that has happened, the last thing I want is for
you to leave. I want you here. Not just for tonight, but for the
rest of my life. Don't you know that by now?"

"I do," he said, his voice thick with emotion. "But sometimes
I get into my own head. And tonight when I got here and saw his
body fall and you on the floor...well, I never knew I could feel
like this. So helpless."

"That's how I felt," Lois said, stepping back and looking him
in the eyes. He looked at her with such utter devotion that it
almost stole her breath away. "Ever since I almost married Lex,
a part of me has felt...helpless. And even though I had you and
he was in jail, he still had power over me. He, and every other
federal disaster that came before him made me feel as if I would
never be capable of a healthy relationship. And it was that part
of me...that part that was still afraid that kept us from taking
the next step."

"And now?" There was no mistaking the hopefulness in his
gorgeous brown eyes.

"I'm ready," she replied knowing as she said it that she meant
every word with all her heart. "It's hard to explain, but
tonight something changed. He tried to kill me, but he didn't.
He couldn't. I'm too strong."

"You are," Clark murmured, gently tucking a strand of hair
behind her ear. "And I am so grateful for it...for you."

"There's a lot I need to process," Lois admitted, taking a
deep breath. "I still don't know what I'm feeling. But I do
know that I need you here with me. And that's a new feeling for
me. Need. I used to feel like needing someone was a weakness. And
I fought so hard against it, but I..."

She choked back a sob that seemed to bubble up in her chest and
he pulled her close immediately, holding her tightly as she rode
the wave of emotion that seemed to crash through her.

"I need you too," he whispered between gentle kisses atop her
head. "I've needed you from the first moment I saw you. So much
it scared me. It still scares me."

"Then we will be scared together," Lois said with a shaky laugh
as she wiped her tears away with her sleeve. "So no more talk of
you leaving me...got it?"

"I didn't mean forever, I just meant...y'know, tonight," he
said quietly, his dark eyes searching hers. "I just thought that
maybe you'd want some space."

"If I want space, I'll tell you, I promise," Lois assured him,
reaching up to touch his cheek gently. She understood why he was
unsure and confused. The woman she'd been before Clark had
agreed to stay had pushed him away on more than one occasion.
She'd become so used to being hyper-independent, that it hadn't
occurred to her to do anything else. "But you were right a week
ago when you said that if we wanted to build a life together, I
couldn't just run home when things got difficult. You helped me
understand that. And after tonight...I don't want to be
alone."

"Not alone," he rasped, dipping his head and claiming her lips
in a strong, surprisingly fierce kiss. "Never alone."

She surrendered to him immediately, allowing her entire body to
be consumed by the feel of his tongue thrusting into her mouth
and the strength of his arms as he pulled her flush against his
body. She moaned softly and felt that familiar rush of heat that
always seemed to be there whenever he touched her...whenever he
looked at her. His kisses quickly became more frantic and Lois
couldn't help but be swept up in his urgency...his need. It
mirrored her own.

His arms tightened around her ever so slightly, and she felt his
hands moving down her body until they clutched her butt. She
tried to think, tried to force her brain to concentrate. Was this
the right time? Was this the right place? She'd been attacked
hours ago and watched her attacker fall to his death and she...

Needed this. Needed this so badly it hurt.

Oh God, he felt good. Tasted so good. She moaned again, this time
louder and he gripped her tighter. She created a little bit of
space between them partly for her own sanity and partly because
she wanted to touch him -- *had* to touch him.

She placed her hands against his chest and felt him gasp in
between kisses. She ran her fingers lightly down his body as he
groaned his own approval. But it wasn't enough. She needed to
feel his skin.

Reaching under the fabric of his t-shirt, she felt him twitch as
she touched him, and he broke the kiss to let out a soft hiss of
appreciation. She continued to rake her fingers down his body,
using more force than she normally would, but suddenly feeling an
almost visceral need to do so.

She had no idea why, but there was an almost panicked part of her
that felt she needed to be as physically close as possible --
forcefully and desperately. Whether that was a side effect of
Lex's attack, she had no idea, but he didn't seem to mind the
near-violent way she touched him. In fact, he appeared to crave
it. Perhaps it was because he was invulnerable, but he groaned
his appreciation of what she was doing loudly.

"God, Lois, you're killing me," he whispered, his voice husky
between kisses. "I can't think straight when you touch
me...when you..."

He trailed off as she kissed him again, whimpering into the kiss
as she gripped his shoulders and urged him backwards towards the
sofa. As their bodies touched again, she remembered once again
she wasn't wearing a bra. It was an odd thing -- to come to that
realisation two times in one night in very different situations.
She didn't feel vulnerable or frightened the way she had before.
She felt strong and powerful. She felt in control and sure of
herself in a way she had never felt before.

They reached the sofa and she pushed gently against his chest,
urging him to sit. She pulled away from him once more and her
eyes met his lust-filled gaze. His chest heaved as he panted for
air, and she knew she was doing the same. Her skin seemed to buzz
and she felt anxious when she wasn't touching him or feeling
him. Was this a side effect of the attack? This raw, unfiltered
and urgent feeling that seemed to consume her? Or was it just the
way he made her feel?

She climbed into his lap, not wanting to answer any questions
that might take her away from this moment, this feeling. She
kissed his lips and then, shoving her hands under his shirt and
gripping him tightly as she gently and then not so gently kissed
and grazed his neck with her teeth.

"Oh...oh God, Lois..." Clark panted, "do you think we
should...I mean, should we....st...stop?"

There was an incredible heat in his eyes, but there was also a
hint of worry. They hadn't talked about this, hadn't discussed
it, and if there was a top ten for 'worst times to make love for
the first time', doing so after a man has tried to kill you and
then plunged to his death had to be top of the list.

"Do you want to stop?" she asked him, wishing his hands were on
her, touching her, feeling her skin...oh God, she couldn't think
of anything right now except how much she wanted him.

"No," he said, doing the very thing she wanted as his hands
reached out to roam up and down her arms as if they had a life of
their own. She wasn't even sure he was aware he was touching
her. It was as if their mouths and their bodies were having two
entirely separate conversations. "Stopping is the last thing I
want, but you've been through something really traumatic and
--"

"I love that you're checking on me," Lois said, biting back a
moan of pleasure at the way his fingers grazed her skin so
slightly. Harder. She wanted it harder. "Tonight was...awful.
But this...this is...oh, Clark, the way you're making me feel
right now...the way you're touching me...I just want more. I
want you."

"Are you sure?" he breathed, his eyes darkening as his strokes
along her arm became more confident. "I don't want you to
regret this...our first time, that is, if you're saying you want
me --"

"Yes," Lois panted, "I want you to make love to me. I've
never wanted anything more. You make me feel so alive, so needed,
so safe. I don't want to think, or worry that this is wrong,
because it feels so good. You feel *so good.* So right. I know
this isn't the way you pictured our first time, so if you don't
want to, I understand --"

"I want to," he growled, gripping her hips and causing her to
gasp.

"Then don't stop," she pleaded. "Please, don't stop."

He made a low, almost guttural sound and he reached for her
shirt, pulling it swiftly over her head.

She kissed him again -- hard. He made a deep noise of
encouragement as she reached for his shirt and attempted to lift
it off him. It wasn't enough that he was touching her bare skin.
She needed to feel his as well. He took pity on her, and yanked
the shirt over his head, tossing it onto the floor. She felt her
breath leave her as she always did whenever she saw him
shirtless.

"Kiss me, Clark," she whispered, her voice low and sensual.
"Please..."

He obeyed instantly, kissing her with an intensity that surprised
her. She cried out at the incredible feelings he evoked and
returned the kiss with equal fervour.

She reached down and gently touched his jaw. Summoning all the
willpower she possessed, she kissed his lips softly before
standing up and taking a step back.

A rush of love and desire flooded through her. He was so
beautiful and so very sexy. She still couldn't believe he was
hers -- that this life was hers. Attacks from deranged
psychopaths aside, they had built something incredible, something
she never thought she would have and he helped her to believe
that she could have it. And for some reason her body stilled. She
wanted nothing more than to go to bed with him, but couldn't
seem to want to leave this moment -- this perfect moment in
time.

Clark must have sensed a shift in her emotions. He stood up, but
didn't move to progress things further. She wasn't sure why
until she felt a tear roll down her cheek. It landed on her hand
and she brushed it away as quickly as possible, worried that
Clark would want to put the brakes on things if he saw her cry.

"Lois?" he said her name softly, and she could hear the concern
in his voice. It only made her want to cry even more, something
that puzzled her, as her body simultaneously wanted his touch so
badly it almost made her tremble.

"I love you," she whispered as another tear fell. She didn't
know why, but she needed him to know. *Really* know. She needed
him to see what was in her heart -- wished he could crawl inside
of it so he would know just how much better he'd made her world.
But all she had were words -- three words that felt so inadequate
compared to the emotions she was feeling. And a moment -- this
perfect moment that would never come again.

Something in her eyes must have convinced him she was okay --
that she wasn't having a breakdown or re-living any of the
trauma of Lex's attack. Her mind couldn't be further from those
events. All she could think of was how much she wanted to be in
his arms, feeling him touching her, getting lost in his eyes.

"I love you too," he murmured finally after a moment of
silence. "And every time I tell you that it feels like the first
time. I get...nervous, but in a good way. I feel my heart pound
and my stomach flip over, and when you say it back I feel --"

"I know," Lois breathed. "I know. I feel the same. And I try
to put it into words...how I feel...how you make me feel, and
there just aren't any...at least, none that we can speak."

"I guess that's why they call this...what we're doing...or
about to do or..." he broke off, slightly flustered and Lois
felt her heart skip a beat. He still wanted her and she still
wanted him -- something her body was reminding her of. He took a
deep breath. "I guess that's why they call it making love. I
don't have to tell you...I can show you. With my lips...my
hands...my body."

His voice deepened and Lois felt her heart begin to race. Before
she could say anything, he reached out and pulled her close. She
pressed her body against his, and he cupped her face in his
hands, kissing her deeply and awakening every nerve ending in her
body.

"Talk to me with your body, Clark," she whispered, taking his
hands and placing them on her hips. Heat surged through her.
"Show me how you feel."

"C'mere," he growled, as he lifted her into his arms and
captured her lips in his. He carried her into the bedroom and the
kiss deepened. Lois could feel every ounce of his love in the way
he looked at her, the way he kissed her, the way he touched her.
She knew that no matter what happened, that love would only grow.
And somehow that was all she needed to know it would be okay.

***

Lois eventually collapsed on top of Clark, feeling every single
ounce of energy drain from her body. He gathered her into his
arms and placed soft, almost reverential kisses atop her head.

"My God, Lois, that was --"

"I know," she said, feeling awed and deeply humbled at what had
just transpired between them.

She'd been so frightened of becoming intimate with him, afraid
of disappointing him the way she'd thought she had disappointed
Claude and every other man she'd been with but it was only now
in this moment she truly understood. She hadn't disappointed
them -- they had profoundly disappointed *her.* The way it was
between her and Clark was how it should be.

"Thanks for, uh...talking me through it," Clark said, and
though she couldn't see his face, something told her that if he
could blush, he would. "I'm not sure I would have lasted
without your help."

"I think you managed just fine without my running commentary,"
she said with a small smile. Still holding her, he rolled onto
his side, allowing for them to look at one another. "What
exactly was it you were thinking of to get yourself back...under
control?"

He looked away and ran a hand through his hair. This time it was
very clear he was embarrassed, which only made her want to know
even more.

"Come on, farmboy, spill," she teased. "There are no secrets
between us now."

"I, uh, was trying to remember the lyrics to the song 'Whoomp!
There It Is'," he admitted, refusing to meet her eyes.

"Don't you hate that song?" she asked with a small chuckle. He
nodded, still unable to look at her, which she found even more
adorable.

"Yeah, that's why it helped," he said with a wry smile. "You
were driving me crazy, Lois. Every single moment of it was...I
can't even put it into words."

She reached out and caressed his cheek, and his eyes met hers. He
was smiling at her in a way that made her heart race.

"You drive me crazy all the time," Lois replied. "Granted, I
have never resorted to reciting 'I'm Too Sexy' by Right Said
Fred in my head, but I might have to start if you keep looking at
me the way you are now outside of this room."

He laughed and leaned in for a soft, lingering kiss.

"We should get cleaned up," Lois said reluctantly when they
parted. She was grateful that they had discussed birth control
when they had first gotten engaged so that they hadn't had to
worry about fumbling for a condom during their first time.

Clark nodded and Lois did her best to extricate herself from him,
making a quick run to the bathroom and tossing a roll of toilet
paper in his direction. Once clean, they didn't bother to put
their pyjamas on. Instead, Clark pulled down the bed covers and
climbed into the bed.

Lois made her way back to him and he enveloped her in his arms
almost immediately, kissing her and murmuring words of love over
and over until she drifted off to sleep.

***

Chapter 33

The room was dark and she was cold. It was night, which confused
her. Shouldn't it be day? She'd thought it was day. Lois looked
for the light switch but couldn't find it. Why wasn't it there?
It had always been there. Frantically, she twisted around, trying
to see through the curtain of darkness that was suddenly her
apartment. Her furniture wasn't in the right spot and her
window...where was her window?

Before she could process anything, a loud wrenching sound caused
her to turn. She tried to scream but no sound came out as her
door was flung open and a figure entered cloaked in the same
darkness that seemed to be trying to consume her.

Lois couldn't see his face, but she knew who it was. She had
always known. He was in her every nightmare. In every shadow. The
root of every part of her fear. And he was here in her living
room -- her living room that wasn't her living room, holding a
gun in his hand -- the only thing she could see in the inky
blackness.

"Did you think you could just kill me Lois?" he asked, his
voice silky smooth. This wasn't the voice of the man who'd
panicked and fallen through a window. This was the voice of a man
who had nothing to fear. A man holding a gun in a room with no
window and no way out. "Did you think it was that easy? I'm
here. I've always been here."

"Cl...Cl..." She couldn't speak. Why couldn't she speak? She
tried to run, but her feet wouldn't move. They felt weighted
down, as if the air itself had mass and was forcing her to be
still -- rooting her to this spot.

Making her a victim.

"He's not coming," Lex hissed. "He's not coming and there is
nowhere for you to go. You can't even scream. Now close your
eyes and say goodbye."

The glint of the barrel of the gun caused ice cold fear to shoot
through her. She opened her mouth and tried to force out a scream
-- to yell for Clark as loud as she could, but she could only
watch, helpless as Lex's finger started to squeeze the trigger.

Before the bullet could hit her, she felt something close tightly
around her, holding her in place. She tried to move, tried to
shake it off, but it wouldn't budge. Her apartment disappeared.
She panicked, and this time when she opened her voice to scream,
an ear shattering cry erupted.

The arms encircling her -- and they were arms -- only tightened
around her. She thrashed around desperately trying to escape, but
the arms held tight.

Seconds felt like hours as she fought and soon she could hear a
voice. It sounded both distant and right beside her. It was
soothing, calming and familiar.

Clark.

And suddenly she understood. She stopped fighting. She felt her
body go limp with relief as she began to wake up. The arms that
held her were Clark's arms, and the voice that spoke to her was
his. She'd know that voice anywhere.

Just as that realisation came to her, the words made sense. Lex
was gone. She was in her bed. She was safe, and Clark was holding
her.

"I'm here, Lois," he whispered, his voice urging her to
believe him...to hear him. "Lois, wake up. Please. Whatever
you're dreaming, it's not real."

"I...I'm awake," she mumbled, opening her eyes as full
consciousness returned to her. The blackness was gone, replaced
by the light emanating from the lamp on her bedside table.

She found herself lying on her side and Clark encircling her.
They were still naked, and the feel of his warm skin pressed
against her added a feeling of security that she couldn't even
name.

She rolled over to face him and looked into his worried eyes
staring helplessly back at her. Her nightmare had frightened him
too, though she suspected that was because a nightmare was not
something Superman could fight.

"I was...trapped..." she managed to say, swallowing the
tightness in her throat and forcing the tears down that suddenly
threatened to spill over.

"Was it..." he hesitated, and Lois wondered if he was afraid to
even say the name out loud lest he somehow summon him. "Was it
Lex?"

She nodded, not wanting to say the name either. He was dead and
yet something inside her warned her that saying his name could
somehow bring him back to life. She didn't want to think of Lex
while lying naked in Clark's arms. She especially didn't want
to tell Clark her dream. Didn't want to relive it or think about
it, and yet she felt the words spill from her as hot tears slid
down her face and panic filled her chest, threatening to
suffocate her once more.

"He was here and the window was gone and you weren't there and
he had a gun and I couldn't scream, Clark, I tried and I
couldn't move and I couldn't scream."

She shook her head, trying desperately to banish the memory of
the dream as well as the memory of the actual event that had
spawned it. He *had* been in her apartment and she *had* faced
him. But the window had been there too, and Lex had fallen out of
it. He was dead. Or he was supposed to be. Why did he feel more
alive now than ever?

Words continued to tumble out of her, fast and furious. She
wasn't sure she was making any sense and yet she had to say
them, had to get them out or they would choke her.

"...said he was here, that he's always been here. Even dead,
he's here in my mind. I can't get away, I couldn't escape
I...the window was gone and you were gone and I needed you and I
couldn't move and --"

Suddenly, his lips were on her, and he was kissing her --
fiercely and with a deep sense of desperation that Lois matched.
She could feel Clark's fear and the deep, primal need to protect
her. His arms wrapped around her and she felt his fingers wind
through her hair, his body pressing against hers like a shield.
She whimpered against him, as he deepened his kiss, tasting the
salt of her tears as they rolled down her face, this kiss in its
near wild ferocity about something completely different.

"Safe," he murmured between kisses, "safe. I'm here. You're
safe. You're home."

Home.

He was right. She was home, but it had nothing to do with the
walls surrounding her and everything to do with the man who held
her, and kissed her with a passion and love that she'd never
known could be real. He *was* here. He always had been. And even
if dream Lex had been right, that a part of him would always be
with her, so too would Clark. He would be here every night to
banish the nightmares, to kiss her and chase her demons away.

She pulled back, gasping for air, and pressed her head against
his chest, the scent of his body comforting, as she convulsed
into sobs once more. She wasn't sure why she was crying now, she
only knew that she needed to -- that it was the only way to purge
all the emotions that ran through her.

Fear. Rage. Weakness. Strength. Love.

Love. She'd hold onto that. Cling to it...to him, when
everything else failed.

Clark held her steadfastly in his arms while she rode the tsunami
of emotions until she was completely spent. Even then, he
continued to kiss her gently and run his hands through her hair
and down the small of her back.

"He's gone," he promised her. "Dead. He can't hurt you
anymore."

"We thought he was dead before," she hiccoughed. "We thought
we...I...was safe. And then he was back and --"

"But he's gone now. I promise."

"How can you be sure?" she asked, grabbing for the toilet paper
to wipe her tears and face. She could feel the puffiness in her
eyes and knew she must look a fright.

"After you fell asleep, I flew by the morgue where they took his
body and scanned it. He's dead and his body is securely guarded.
I came back just before you started making noises in your sleep.
I'm sorry, I shouldn't have let you alone like that. I just
needed to be sure."

"Don't be sorry," she said, reaching out and touching his face
gently to reassure him. She realised that when he returned, he'd
removed his clothing instead of putting his boxers on and climbed
back into bed with her. She felt her heart clench slightly at the
knowledge that he'd seen her in distress and had held her --
skin to skin -- to reassure her. "There are times when you're
going to need to leave in the middle of the night. I understand,
and I am so grateful you checked to...to see..."

"I had to," he replied grimly. "I had to be sure. After last
time, I...Lois, I'm scared too."

She wasn't sure why, but somehow knowing that he was just as
frightened helped. The bad guy was dead. They'd finally made
love. Things were supposed to wrap themselves up into a nice tidy
bow. This was supposed to be the happy ending, and yet, Lois knew
it wasn't that simple. Things were never that simple.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, "for...scaring you and for..."
she trailed off, unable to articulate how she was feeling.
They'd made love for the first time that night and then this...

"You have nothing to apologise for," he said. The look in his
eyes was fierce and loving. And she knew he had understood what
she was feeling, even without the words. "Earlier, when we made
love it was perfect. But these feelings are yours and they are
real and I'm here."

"I thought I was okay," she admitted, feeling ashamed for
reasons she couldn't understand. "I thought...he was gone and
that was it. We could move on. A fresh start, but...it's going
to take a while, isn't it?"

"I think it is," Clark acknowledged. "And I don't know how to
fight an enemy that isn't there. I want to take all this pain
for you, but I don't know where to start."

"Start with this," she said, taking his hands and wrapping them
around her waist. She didn't think she would ever tire of
feeling his hands on her body. "Start by holding me, and never
letting me go."

"Always," he vowed, kissing her with aching tenderness. "You
have me...body, mind and soul."

She was able to sink back into his arms, feeling the depth of his
love covering her, forging her armour, preparing her for the
fight ahead.

"Don't be scared," she heard him say before she drifted back
into sleep. "There's two of us now."

***

Chapter 34

Morning dawned, and Lois woke to the feel of Clark's body behind
her, his arms wrapped around her tightly. The memory of both her
nightmare and their lovemaking returned to her, and she fought to
think of the pleasure of the latter as she listened to Clark's
steady and even breathing. His hands were settled on her hips and
his breath felt soft against her neck.

She felt Clark mumble something and tighten his grip on her body.
He was waking up, ever so slowly. She closed her eyes and
concentrated on the feel of him, the scent of him, the way his
weight lent her comfort and gave her strength. Nothing could
touch them here, in this place. She was strong on her own, but he
made her stronger. Being with him was stronger than her alone.

"Good morning," she heard him whisper as he gently kissed the
back of her neck. She felt a shiver run through her body, and the
nightmare evaporated like smoke. She was suddenly very aware of
the fact that, though Clark was not completely awake, parts of
his body were.

"Good morning," she replied innocently, arching her back ever
so slightly. He gave a quiet groan. "Something wrong?"

"Only that you're killing me," he said softly, though she
could tell he was enjoying it.

"Should I stop?" she asked, coyly, enjoying the feeling of
power she seemed to have over him.

"Do you want to?" His voice was husky.

"Don't stop," she begged. "Never stop."

***

Though neither of them particularly wanted to get out of bed,
Lois knew there was a possibility that Henderson might have more
questions for her about both the attempt on the President's life
and Lex's death. Clark also had to go into the precinct as
Superman and give his statement in order to fully exonerate Lois,
which, though Henderson had all but promised was a sure thing,
still made her a bit anxious.

It was with this in mind, that they both dressed reluctantly.
Despite the morning's lovemaking, the nightmare she'd had was
still with her. Clark made a simple breakfast for the two of
them, and Lois marvelled at how much better she'd been eating
since he'd started living with her. They ate in silence, both
without looking at the window that Lex had fallen out of. She
wasn't sure when she'd feel comfortable opening her curtains
again, but she knew she couldn't keep the window closed forever,
given Clark's need to fly in and out for Superman rescues.

She did the dishes and chewed on that thought for a bit as Clark
called the newsroom. She could hear half the conversation as he
did so and from the sounds of it, Perry had been informed via
Henderson about what had happened. Lois couldn't help but think
that telling Perry about Lex's attack wasn't strictly necessary
to the case and wondered idly if he'd done it for her so Lois
wouldn't have to.

When Clark hung up and headed back into the kitchen, she had just
finished drying the dishes and putting them away.

"Perry says to take our time," Clark told her. "He even
understands if we can't make it in at all."

"I have to go in," Lois replied, biting her lip and sneaking
another glance at the window. "I don't think I could stay here
and look at --"

"I know," he admitted, rubbing her shoulders absently. "Do you
want to stay at my place for a few days? Or however long it takes
to..."

He trailed off and Lois understood why. What could he say that
wouldn't sound cliched or ridiculous? Until she 'got over it'?
Until she forgot? She shook her head.

"I have to face this," she said, her entire body feeling heavy.
"I can't hide at your place, or in my room. But at the same
time, I don't..."

She looked down, and tried to stop her hands from shaking.

"Don't what?" Clark asked. Lois' throat felt tight and she
had trouble swallowing as she turned around and looked up at
him.

"I don't want to see the sidewalk where he...where he fell."
She drew a shaky breath. "Do you think Superman could fly me to
work before he goes to give his statement to Henderson?"

"Of course," Clark replied, and Lois' heart was instantly
lighter for it. She knew she hadn't killed Lex, but she also
knew that if it meant her life or his, she had been willing to.
That knowledge combined with the site where he'd fallen made her
heart race with anxiety. She would look eventually. She had to.
But not now.

"We should get going," she said softly, still staring into his
deep brown eyes. They were full of concern as well as love. She
knew it was likely eating him up inside not being able to *do*
something or fix things because that was his way. But some things
couldn't be fixed. At least not right away.

"Are you sure you don't want to stay at my place for a few
days?" he asked, gently cupping her cheek with his hand. She
instantly wanted to forget the world and just get lost in the
depths of those brown eyes. "It's not running away, Lois."

She shook her head, and stepped back away from him, breaking the
spell and brushing away a stray tear that had escaped down her
face. She wasn't sure why, but his worry as well as the
tenderness in his expression made her want to cry.

"I don't know what I want," she finally admitted. "I know
that I don't want to see that sidewalk every day or look out
that window or..." she trailed off and took a deep breath trying
to steady herself. "But a wise reporter once told me that I
can't run away to your place whenever things get difficult."

"I wish I'd never said that," he muttered as he ran a hand
through his hair. A flash of anger shot through his eyes but she
knew it wasn't directed towards her. "I didn't mean --"

"I know you didn't," she assured him. "I know."

And then it dawned on her. Something that had been hovering in
the back of her mind for a while now. Something she'd been
thinking about ever since she'd seen him at his parent's farm.
This wasn't his home, anymore than his apartment was hers. He
could live here -- and would do so quite happily if she asked
him, but it would never truly be theirs, and she wanted that.

Her apartment was full of so many memories of her life before
Clark. She'd moved in straight out of college when she'd first
started working at the *Planet*. She'd been dead broke for the
first few years, sometimes surviving on nothing but minute rice,
but she'd done it. She'd made it. She'd built a home for
herself, and it had been a good home.

But it was hers. Filled with memories of a life that didn't
involve him. She wanted the two of them to find something that
wasn't already filled with memories -- a blank canvas that they
could decorate with their life together and fill with a whole new
life. She wanted it now more than anything and not just because
it meant not staring at that window every day or the sidewalk
below.

"I just...don't know what to do," Clark said helplessly. This
time she reached out and touched his face, bringing him closer
for a long, deep kiss.

"I know what to do," she told him breathlessly after they
parted. "Move in with me."

"I thought..." he looked confused. "Isn't that what we're
already doing?"

"I don't want you to live in my apartment," she told him.
"And I don't want to live in yours. Those were both spaces for
two people that don't exist anymore. I want to find a place with
you. A new place. One that we can grow old together and maybe
even...maybe even one day start a family together."

"You...you mean that?" Clark looked so hopeful, it would have
been comical had it not also been so heart wrenchingly sweet.
"We've never talked about kids..."

"I know," she said with a sigh. "There were lots of things
that I was afraid to talk about. Afraid to think about. I was so
convinced that even allowing myself to have this, that wanting
more would somehow ruin it. And while I admit that the idea of
being a parent scares me to death, it's a fear I will gladly
confront if it means I get to do it with you. What do you say?
Will you live with me in a place we choose together? No more
practice."

"A thousand times yes," he murmured, leaning down and kissing
her with aching gentleness. "I am so in awe of you, do you know
that?"

"And I am in love with you," she said with a soft laugh. "I
can't wait to look for houses together. In the meantime you
should probably..."

She made the spinning gesture and he immediately did so, scooping
her into his arms. The familiar rush that always filled her
whenever he held her took hold, and she wrapped her arms around
his neck as he lifted her into the sky. She knew not to look
down. There was nothing for her there.

***

Chapter 35

Clark dropped her off at the *Planet* before flying to the
precinct to talk to Henderson. He promised to return the moment
Superman was done giving his statement. She could tell he was
worried for her, but Lois always felt at home when she was at the
*Planet.* Something about the chaotic din and frenzied pace
soothed her. She assured Clark she was exactly where she needed
to be, then got onto the elevator.

The moment the doors opened and she stepped out, the noise level
dropped considerably. She had expected that. Though the full
explanation of what had happened with the President had yet to be
published the rumour machine was alive and well and add that to
the fact that TV news had been reporting on Lex's death outside
her apartment and...well, Lois had assumed she'd be the centre
of attention.

She lifted her chin and tried to ignore the curious stares as she
headed over to her desk. As she did so, she noticed that Claude
was already there. She hadn't been sure when he would return to
France, and she knew she would have to be in touch with him in
order to turn over control of Dupont Airlines to his family, but
she was fairly surprised to see him in the newsroom. He looked as
if he was waiting for her, and her heart sank.

Among other things, she'd intended to have a talk with Perry and
explain that Claude had stolen her story today. Though she knew
that would mean Perry contacting Claude, she had hoped it would
be via a phone call. She felt weary in a way that had nothing to
do with lack of sleep and everything to do with the fact that,
dead or alive, the federal disasters of her past had worn out
their welcome.

"I...wasn't sure you'd be coming in," Claude said when she
reached her desk. "I hoped you would, but I didn't know
if...well, I heard what happened."

"Hello, Claude," Lois replied, unable to hide the exhaustion in
her voice. She knew he was trying to be kind, but she had neither
the energy nor the emotional bandwidth to deal with it. "Do you
mind moving over? I need to start typing up the story on the
President before the Metropolis Star scoops us."

"They can't, though," Claude said. "I mean, not really. They
don't have half the inside information we do...you do, I mean.
Anything they print will be mostly speculation and rumour."

He was right, and Lois knew it, but she still felt compelled to
get to work. She hadn't seen Perry yet, and was hoping that when
she did, Claude would have taken the hint and left.

"I appreciate that," she said, trying to stay polite, "but I
still need to write it. Is there something you could be helping
Jimmy with?"

"Not really," he admitted. He looked a bit nervous. "I'll be
honest, my flight home leaves in a week. I wanted to stay and
help with whatever financial matters needed to be worked out with
the purchase of my company's shares...if you're still planning
to buy it back, that is."

"I am," Lois replied coolly, "but you really don't need to be
here for that. I intend to contact my lawyer today and let him
know that he can come back to Metropolis. Once he does, I will
sign whatever he needs me to, and then he will take it from
there."

"I understand," Claude replied sheepishly. "I realised there
is not much for me to do here, but I'm rather at loose ends. I
thought...well, I know you'll be telling Mr. White about the
story I stole, and I know that he will want to talk to me and I
guess I just wanted to make it easier on everyone by being
here...and being accountable."

"I...thank you," Lois said, not knowing how else to respond.
"I appreciate that."

"I'll get out of your hair for now," he offered as he stood
up. "I am going to borrow a desk and type up my resignation from
my newspaper. I plan to uphold my end of things. I want to be
better."

"You...you can use Clark's desk," Lois said, unable to believe
the words that were coming out of her mouth. "Until he gets back
that is."

Claude nodded and headed over to Clark's desk. Lois gave a soft
sigh of relief. She hadn't expected Claude to be so agreeable
about her demand that he quit his job, and wondered briefly if
doing so under these conditions was somewhat of a relief to him.
It also made her realise that she hadn't known him very well at
all. Not even close. She knew what Clark was thinking or feeling
simply by looking at him. A smile, a gesture, even the tone of
voice that he used conveyed more to her than any conversation
she'd ever had with Claude.

All those months she'd spent working with him, looking up to
him, idolising and thinking she was falling in love with him...it
had all been so surface level it was unreal. Sleeping with Claude
had been a disappointment both physically and spiritually. She
hadn't ever communicated with him or any man she'd been with
the way she had with Clark. The act had been there, but that was
it.

And now that she knew what she'd been missing, she knew it was
worth it. She'd taken the hard route, but it was worth all the
pain and heartache. Because when Clark touched her, it was real.
When she told him what she liked, he listened. And the way he
made her feel was both explosive and peaceful.

She focused her attention back on the story, determined to get
some work done before Clark returned. She wasn't going to write
all of it, of course. After all, Clark had done just as much work
on the story and would share the byline. However, she decided to
get the boring job of organising all the facts and quotes in the
meantime.

Time seemed to slip by and before Lois knew it, the familiar
touch of Clark's hand on her shoulder told her he had returned.
He pulled up a chair and she saved her work, then turned to him.

"How did it go?" She tried to keep the hint of anxiety out of
her voice, but couldn't have been very successful because he
reached out and squeezed her hand gently.

"Henderson told me the police will officially be ruling Lex
Luthor's death an accident during an attempted murder. No
charges will be filed. He said there isn't a jury in the world
that would prosecute you at this point."

"Oh," she said, suddenly feeling rather lightheaded. Clark
gripped her hand a bit tighter and she took a deep breath,
letting it out slowly. "I'm glad. I know he'd said last night
that it would most likely be ruled an accident but..."

"I know," Clark replied. "I think Henderson noticed that even
Superman seemed a bit on edge when he gave his statement. But
it's over."

Over. As in finished. Did he really believe that? Sure, she
hadn't killed Lex, but did it really matter that she wasn't
technically responsible? She felt responsible regardless. And
something about that distinction wouldn't let her fully relax.

"It isn't though," Lois said softly. "Over, I mean. I'm not
sure it will be for a very long time. The fact that I didn't
personally push him from the window doesn't mean I don't feel
as if I did."

"Lois --"

"And I'm relieved! Relieved!" she interrupted, feeling the
panic rising in her chest threatening to spill over. "And I
don't know what to do with that. I mean, I'm basically glad a
man is dead and glad that my actions sort of lead to his
death!"

"Lois --"

"What does that make me? *Who* does that make me?"

"Honey --"

"And if he was trying to kill me, should I even care? Should I
just be glad he's gone and wash my hands of it? I want to, but I
keep seeing him fall out that window when I close my eyes and
--"

The feel of his lips on hers, kissing her deeply stole her voice
from her. She melted into the kiss without a second thought,
allowing the memory of what they had done that morning and the
feeling of his tongue dancing with hers drive the panic from her
mind. She pushed her thoughts aside and allowed her body to take
over, and her body only wanted one thing: Clark.

Eventually, they parted and Lois fought to regain her senses. She
cast a surreptitious look around the office, but nobody was
paying attention to them. Either they were used to the sight of
the two of them kissing at work, or they hadn't seen it.

Lois was surprised to find herself relieved. She wasn't normally
self-conscious about displays of affection at work. Though not
strictly professional, Perry never seemed to have an issue with
it, but this time it was different. This was the morning after.
Surely if others had seen that kiss, they would know. She
couldn't explain it, but they would know. The kiss felt
different -- the way Clark looked at her was different. There was
a sureness to him now that wasn't there before -- a confidence
with her body that hadn't been there before they'd made love.
And that look in his eyes...Lois shivered.

"Oh, Clark, this is all so overwhelming," she admitted with a
shaky breath. "Every time you look at me, I think of this
morning and last night and how good you made me feel, but
then...somehow it's mixed up with the attack and the fall and I
don't know how to feel. I feel guilty that you make me feel so
good and --"

"I know," he said, gently touching his forehead to hers. She
closed her eyes and drew a long deep breath, allowing the feel of
her hands in his and his physical presence to calm her. "But you
have nothing to feel guilty about. And whether it's right or
wrong, when I think about what could have happened...well, I know
it's not very 'Superman' of me, but, I'm not sorry. He got
what he deserved."

Hearing Clark say that made something inside her unclench. She
knew she would have to unpack her feelings about Lex's death,
but she also knew that he wouldn't judge her for them, and
though Clark was also Superman, she knew he wasn't perfect or
above complicated feelings. Human or Kryptonian, there was no
easy way forward. But, he was here. Lex was gone. She wasn't
going to be charged in connection with his death. And they had
made love for the first time. There were things in her life worth
celebrating. It was going to be okay.

"Thank you," she finally managed to say. "I don't know why,
but I needed to hear that."

"There's no one way you have to feel here," Clark reminded
her. "It's not as if there's a 'how to deal with seeing your
psychopathic ex-fiance fall from your window the night he tried
to kill you' book in the lifestyle section."

"True," Lois replied with a sigh. "All the same, I think I
will book an appointment with Dr. Friskin for next week. After I
talk to Perry, that is. Have you seen him?"

"He was downstairs getting lunch a few minutes ago but he's
back in his office now," Clark told her. He studied her quietly
for a moment and then said, "You don't have to tell him about
the story Claude stole today, you know. It can wait."

"I know," Lois said as she took a deep steadying breath. "But
I need to do this sooner rather than later or I never will. It's
been weighing me down for too long."

"Do you want me to come in with you?" Clark wondered. She shook
her head.

"I love you for offering, but I think this is something I need
to do alone." Clark nodded, and although Lois knew that he
wanted to be by her side to offer support, he would respect her
wishes. "Could you...wait out here for me though? Barring any
Superman rescues, of course."

"Absolutely," he promised, placing a featherlight kiss on her
cheek that caused her pulse to quicken again. "I'll look over
the notes you made while you're there if you want. We can write
it together when you're done."

She nodded, squeezed his hand and walked across the newsroom to
Perry's office. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Claude's
gaze following her. He obviously knew what she was about to do.
She tried not to let that influence her thoughts as she walked
into Perry's office.

Perry, more than used to her barging into his office without
knocking, barely spared her a glance. He was too busy picking his
sandwich from the deli apart and muttering angrily to himself.

"Why is it so blasted difficult to remember that I said no
tomatoes?" he groused.

"You ordered a BLT, Chief," Lois reminded him gently, trying to
stifle a smile. He did this every week.

"Well I'd order a BL, but nobody seems to know what that
means," he grumbled. "There somethin' I can help you with,
darlin', or are you just here to argue sandwich semantics?"

"I was hoping to talk to you," Lois said, feeling nervous and
hesitant. Perry noticed it too because she saw him sit up and set
the sandwich aside to give her his full attention. She paused and
turned to close the door to his office before she faced him
again. "It's about...Claude. Well, Claude and the story he won
the Kerth award for."

"What about it?" Perry asked, his eyes narrowing the way they
usually did when he knew something smelled fishy.

"He didn't write it," Lois replied, letting out a breath as
she metaphorically ripped the band-aid off. "I did. He stole it
from me and passed it off as his own. And I...I let him get away
with it all these years."

A moment of torturous silence passed between her and Perry before
she watched him drag his hand over his face, shaking his head
softly.

"Judas Priest," he muttered to himself. Then, looking her
directly in the eye, he said, "I think you'd better tell me
everything."

"You..." she hesitated. "You believe me?" She'd thought he
would. She'd expected him to. And yet somehow, she needed to
hear him say the words for it to be real.

"Well, of course, I believe you," Perry said, sounding slightly
incredulous. "You're the best damn reporter I've ever worked
with, and beyond that you're...well, you're like family to me,
honey. I know you wouldn't lie...not about something like this.
Now pull up a chair and tell me how this happened."

"I..." Lois felt the tension melt from her shoulders as she
took a seat, her legs feeling slightly shaky and her emotions
threatening to betray her. "I don't know where to start."

"Start at the beginning," Perry urged. "And then work your way
up to the part where I go out there and hang that good for
nothin' rat Dupont upside down by his toenails and shake him for
loose change."

Lois suppressed a smile as well as a swell of gratitude at
Perry's reaction. To have him not only believe her but get that
angry on her behalf meant the world. Still, she wasn't through
with this yet, and she owed it to herself and to Perry to explain
what happened and why she hadn't come forward at the time.

In a halting voice, she recounted the events that led up to
Claude stealing her story to Perry, sparing no details. It was
difficult, as she was tempted many times to hide the more
embarrassing aspects of it, such as how she was drawn in by him,
lied to and then of course how he had managed to access her story
when she was in such a vulnerable state.

Perry thankfully said nothing. He sat and patiently listened
until she was finished, which was a relief. When it was clear
there was no more to tell, he rubbed his chin thoughtfully and
gave her a sad smile.

"I am so sorry, Lois," he finally said. Something about his
posture and bearing seemed to change. It was as if he aged ten
years in an instant, looking extremely weary. "I should have
spotted it. Old newshound like myself...ha! Some Editor in Chief
I turned out to be."

"You can't blame yourself, Perry!" Lois exclaimed in surprise.
"Claude was...well, he was older and charming and...so very
convincing! Sometimes we see the things we want to see in people,
regardless of whether or not that is the face they are really
showing us. It's not our fault. I'm only just starting to learn
that."

"I hear you, Lois, but I..." Perry shook his head. "Aw, hell,
I guess I just feel bad. I didn't protect you then, but I can
now. I can make it right, now. If you want me to, that is."

"If you're asking me what I think you're asking, then yes,"
Lois said. She'd anticipated this part of the conversation. She
knew that if Perry believed her, he would want to make it right.
"I would like you to alert the Kerth Award committee."

Perry nodded, and Lois knew he'd known what her answer would
be.

"Now, it's not gonna be easy," he warned her. "I believe
you...'course I do, but an accusation like this...well, they're
gonna want to investigate, and without proof, it's your word
against his. I'm only tellin' you this now because they might
want to question you both and --"

"Claude is willing to go on record and admit he stole the
story," Lois interrupted. She knew what Perry was trying to say,
and if it weren't for the fact that she'd already spoken to
Claude, she would have appreciated his not-so-subtle attempt at
caution. But the warning wasn't necessary. She knew that while
she had his unconditional trust, in the eyes of an awards
committee, even a three-time Kerth-Award-winning reporter would
be held up to immense scrutiny -- especially when that reporter
also happened to be a woman.

"Oh!" Perry sounded surprised, but also relieved. "Well, then
that changes things. I'll uh...give the committee a call. Right
after you send that low down dirty son of a --"

"Chief --" Lois warned. Perry gave a small huff, stood up and
walked over to the door.

"Fine. Send Dupont in here please. I just wanna have a polite
chat."

Lois nodded and stood up. She meant to walk out the door that
Perry had opened, but instead, she found herself overcome with
affection for her boss, giving him an impulsive and swift hug.
The soft 'ooof' of surprise from Perry told her he hadn't been
expecting it either. When she stepped back, he cleared his throat
and looked away.

"Thanks, Perry," she said quietly.

"Don't thank me yet, darlin'," Perry said gruffly. "Now go
on and get that lyin' creep...er, Claude and send him on in
here."

Lois smiled. A small part of her was tempted to tell Perry to go
easy on him, given that he had already agreed to back her up. She
fought the impulse.

"Give him hell, Chief."

***

Chapter 36

It turned out that Lois didn't need to give Claude the message.
He'd been watching as she'd gone in and come out of Perry's
office and had gotten up immediately after she left. As they
passed one another, he gave her a pained grimace.

"On a scale of one to 'should I be planning my funeral', how
bad is this going to be?"

"Do you have a will?" Lois shot back. Claude sighed, shook his
head and kept walking. When she made it back to her desk where
Clark was still waiting, she sat down, gave him a tight smile and
turned her attention back to their story.

She began typing, but stopped when she noticed that Clark wasn't
focused on the computer. Instead, he was staring at Perry's
closed office door with a strangely triumphant smile on his face.
Lois felt her jaw drop and gasped in surprise.

"Clark, are you --?"

"Listening in on Perry's conversation with Claude?" Clark said
with an unapologetic grin. "Absolutely. You said I couldn't hit
him, but I'm not going to miss this."

Lois gaped for a moment and then poked him gently in the side.

"Well? What's Perry saying?"

Clark reached for her hand and relayed the long and very angry
rant that Perry was currently delivering to Claude, word for
word. Lois was amused to find that Perry had managed to work an
Elvis story into his lecture before calling Claude a few of the
names he'd almost used when she was in the office and telling
him to get the hell out. Though her anger had long since faded,
there was a piece of her that felt both vindicated and touched to
know just how deeply Perry cared.

When Claude exited the office, head down looking utterly
defeated, Clark turned to her and kissed her, a boyish smile on
his face.

"Enjoyed that, did you?" Lois asked wryly. He nodded.

"Better than cable."

"Well, I'm glad you've gotten that out of your system, Mr.
Maturity," she teased, though inside her heart was beyond full.
"Now, if you're done abusing your powers, we have work to
do."

"I don't know what you're talking about," he said innocently
as he turned his attention back to the computer. He pointed at
the screen and grinned. "That's not how you spell 'alleged',
by the way."

She resisted the urge to playfully hit his shoulder, and then
realised that for the first time since Claude had shown up,
things felt almost normal. She and Clark were here together, and
they were bantering. It felt good. No, it felt better than good.

She couldn't pretend that she understood this emotional
rollercoaster she was on, but she was finally starting to realise
that she couldn't control it, and that was okay. One moment she
might feel the way she did right now -- that things were okay --
and the next...well, the next she might remember the way the
crimson blood stain covered the pavement after Lex's fall -- and
it was in those moments she knew she would have to hold onto
Clark. She would need to trust him with the most vulnerable parts
of herself, and that was no longer terrifying.

It was freeing.

She looked back at Clark and gave him a mischievous smile -- the
one she knew usually drove him crazy and bit her lip. She leaned
forward.

"You keep editing my copy, and I'll --"

"You'll what?" he challenged, eyes twinkling and his face only
inches from hers. Suddenly, it felt as if the floor had dropped
out from under her. Her pulse sped up and she found herself being
drawn into him, the way she always did when he looked at her with
such raw longing.

"Don't push me, Kent," she breathed, "you are way out of your
league." She could see Clark gulp and his eyes darken with
anticipation and marvelled at the way one simple phrase could be
used so very differently. He obviously recognised the words
she'd said to him the first day they'd met as well because he
twined her fingers through his and leaned in, giving her the
gentlest kiss on the cheek while he whispered in her ear.

"You like to be on top. Got it."

She shivered and closed her eyes, wanting nothing more than to be
back in the safety of her bedroom with Clark next to her,
clothing optional. But they had a story to finish and imagining
all the things she wanted him to do to her was extremely
distracting.

But such an enjoyable distraction.

She bit her lip and reluctantly pulled away.

"Later," she said under her breath in a tone low enough that
only he could hear. "We finish this now, and we can explore any
position you want."

He groaned softly and she could see him grip the desk just a
little bit tighter.

"You're killing me," he said hoarsely.

"Good," she replied with a somewhat wicked grin. "Now, which
of these headlines should we pick?"

Clark very reluctantly forced his attention back to work, and
they spent an hour writing up the story, checking sources,
organising quotes and getting everything ready to print. They
were just putting the finishing touches on it, when Perry left
his office and strode purposefully over to Lois' desk. She
noticed as he approached that Claude had either left or made
himself scarce, and smiled in amusement.

"I just spoke with the Kerth Committee," he told her. "Claude
has to provide them with a written statement saying he stole the
story from you and that it was your original work. Once he does
that, a retraction on his award will be printed in the *Planet*,
and the Kerth will be sent to you in the mail."

Lois suddenly found herself at a complete loss for words. She'd
been hoping for this, but hadn't expected it to happen so
quickly. She hadn't even thought it mattered all that much to
her whether she had the actual award. She'd told herself it had
been more about ensuring that the truth was known in general, but
also where Perry was concerned. She hadn't really thought much
beyond that. Even though Claude was willing to give a statement,
she hadn't thought about whether it mattered to her to have the
award on her shelf.

And now, as she searched her feelings she found it did matter. It
mattered a whole damn lot. That Kerth was more than just an
award; it was a symbol of the woman she had become and the
battles it had taken to get her there.

"Lois, honey, you okay?"

She swallowed tightly and nodded, not trusting herself to speak.
Clark reached out and rubbed her shoulder reassuringly.

"I think she's just a little overwhelmed, Chief," he said. She
nodded and fought to regain control of her emotions before
speaking.

"Thank you, Perry," she finally said. "I can't tell you what
it means to me."

"Aw, don't thank me," Perry said with an embarrassed wave of
his hand. "Besides, it looks good to marketing if we can say
that the *Planet* has a four-time Kerth award winner on staff.
Five if you count Kent here."

Lois shot Clark a grin. She didn't for a second believe that
Perry cared about how the extra Kerth looked for marketing.

Perry cleared his throat. "How's that story on the President
coming along, by the way?"

"We're mostly done," Clark replied. "Just putting the
finishing touches on it."

"Good," Perry nodded. "Then I want you both to go home and
don't come back until Wednesday. I mean it. You were attacked
last night and you've earned yourself a long weekend at the very
least and I won't hear no for an answer."

"We can't take four days off, Perry!" Lois exclaimed. "We
still have to write the follow up on the assassination
attempt!"

"Follow up?" Perry gave her a sharp look and Lois took a deep
breath. She'd already anticipated Perry's objection to her
writing the Lex Luthor piece. Clark looked at her in surprise as
well.

"Well, the rules do say that we have exclusive rights to the
follow up," Lois reasoned, "and I do have a firsthand account
of Lex Luthor's...escape, so I thought --"

"Firsthand account?" Perry exclaimed. "That's putting it
mildly! Hells bells, darlin', the man tried to kill you! You
can't write the story. You *were* the story. You know darn well
it's a conflict of interest."

"But Chief --"

"Lois, he's right," Clark cut in. She whirled on him, eyes
flashing fire at his betrayal.

"Et tu, Brute?"

"I'm serious," Clark said patiently. "Think about it. The
police *questioned* you. Even though they declined to press
charges, if you wrote...if *we*...wrote the piece there would
always be questions about the paper's integrity. I think someone
else has to handle this one, and I think you know that."

She did. Damn him, she did. Deep down, she wasn't sure she even
*wanted* to write it, but a major story was a major story, and
fighting to be front and centre was so ingrained as to almost be
instinctive. Still, Lois wasn't used to going down without a
fight.

"If not us, then who?" she asked.

"Lois, you're not the only good reporter at this paper," Perry
reminded her with mild amusement. "But it is a good question.
Stevens is on assignment, and Jackson is off sick. I could assign
it to Bates, but --"

"What about Jimmy?" Lois blurted out. Both Clark and Perry
looked at her in surprise. She hadn't meant to make the
suggestion, but once the words were out of her mouth, she was
surprised at how right they felt. Jimmy had worked hard with them
for the story on the President. He'd been there every step of
the way, and beyond that, she knew how hard he'd been working to
be taken seriously as a potential reporter. She also knew how
hard it was to advocate for yourself when you're young and
inexperienced. She couldn't go back in time and change her own
past, but she could give Jimmy the hand up she'd never had.

"Jimmy?" Perry said sceptically. "Now don't get me wrong, the
kid has promise, but this is a big story and --"

"He's never going to be ready if you don't give him a
chance," Lois pushed. "You of all people know we have to start
somewhere. All I needed was someone to believe in me...to give me
that big story. That's all Jimmy needs too. I think he can do
it."

"Plus, he did all the research for the piece on the
assassination attempt," Clark chimed in. Lois was relieved that
he was in agreement with her. "He knows that story inside and
out. I think Lois is right."

"Fine," Perry grumbled. "But that means you two go home. I
don't want to see hide nor hair of either of you until
Wednesday, comprende?"

"But Perry --"

"I mean it, Lois," he repeated, his voice a bit gentler, but no
less insistent. "You've been through a lot. Both of you. Once
that story of yours is on my desk, I want to see tail lights."

"Got it, Chief," Clark replied.

Perry nodded, satisfied, and gave her shoulder a light squeeze
before heading back to his office. Lois sighed.

"We can go back to my apartment," Clark suggested, as if
reading her mind. It wasn't as if she didn't want to spend four
uninterrupted days with Clark -- far from it. They'd just made
love for the first time. Under any other circumstances, she'd be
jumping at the chance to spend four days in bed with Clark, but
it also meant returning to her apartment. "We can use the time
to call your friend Steven and put things in motion for Lex's
money and maybe...look at housing listings to search for a place
of our own?"

Lois raised an eyebrow.

"That's awfully ambitious of you, considering what I was
thinking we would spend the next four days doing."

She reached under the desk and gave his thigh an insistent
squeeze. The result was Clark banging his knee against the desk
in surprise.

"Lo-is," he protested, his jaw set tightly in concentration.
"You know I can't think clearly when you put images like that
in my head!"

"What images?" She batted her eyes, feigning innocence --
something that only caused Clark's expression to darken in a way
that let Lois know exactly what he was thinking. She shivered as
he leaned forward. Maybe this hadn't been the best game to play
in the newsroom.

"Images of you...from this morning."

She closed her eyes and allowed herself to picture it, allowing a
soft moan only he could hear to escape her. He ran his fingers
lightly down her arm, causing the heat that had started to build
to intensify. She moved her hand slightly further up his thigh in
return, and he made a slightly strangled noise.

"Now that *is* a good image," Lois acknowledged softly, "but
not as good as the one I had in mind." She leaned over and
whispered in explicit detail what she wanted to do to him.

"It's like that, it is?" Clark almost growled. "You're going
to make sure I never leave this desk with that kind of talk.
Besides, I wasn't finished."

"Oh?" She quirked an eyebrow at him and he swallowed tightly.
She moved her hand even further up his leg until she'd almost
reached his inner thigh. If she moved it any further, things
might look suspicious and they both knew it.

"Hey, CK, hey, Lois!" Jimmy called as he approached. As if
caught in the act itself, she wrenched her arm backwards from
Clark's leg and banged it hard on the desk. She swore under her
breath, both because of the pain and because of Jimmy's
ill-timed interruption.

His voice, though cheerful, ripped through Lois' mind,
destroying the incredibly erotic fantasy she'd conjured up and
causing her to grit her teeth. She looked up and tried to force
her breathing to return to normal. Clark looked similarly
frustrated and had a far worse poker face than she did.
Thankfully, Jimmy seemed blissfully oblivious, pulling a chair up
and sitting down as he ran a hand excitedly through his naturally
floppy hair. "I just spoke to the Chief! He told me that you
guys suggested I write the Luthor story and I just wanted to come
over and thank you."

"It's no problem, Jimmy," Lois replied, shooting a resigned
but frustrated look back at her partner. He shared the look but
gave Jimmy a smile nonetheless. "You worked hard and you
deserved it."

"I know, but..." Jimmy seemed at a loss for words. He looked at
Lois seriously. "This is huge. First there's the story itself
and then there's...well, I know what a story like this will mean
for you...for both of you. And I understand if you were just
being nice and all. If you wanted to give something like this to
a more experienced writer, I would totally understand. I know
what Luthor did to you and I --"

Lois reached out and grabbed Jimmy's hand, something that seemed
to surprise him. The fantasy flew out of her mind as the reality
of the moment pressed upon her. She found herself equally
surprised not just by her actions, but by how strongly she felt
about Jimmy being the one to write the story.

"That's exactly why I...why *we* wanted you to write it. You
know. You did the research. You put in the time. You did
everything a good reporter is supposed to do. You've earned this
story, and there is nobody else in this newsroom other than Clark
that I would trust to tell it properly."

"But I --"

"Lois is right," Clark said quietly. "You've more than earned
this." Jimmy looked as if he wanted to argue further, but
thought better of it. He stood up and nodded.

"Can I ask you guys for help if I need it?"

"Normally, I would say yes, but Perry has exiled us from the
newsroom for the next four days," Lois replied, shooting Clark a
meaningful look. "But we trust you, Jimmy and we believe in
you."

"Oh...wow. Thanks," Jimmy said, sounding slightly awed. "You
don't know what it means to hear you say that. I won't let you
down, I promise."

Lois nodded. "I know."

Jimmy gave them a lopsided half smile and turned to go.

"Hey Jimmy," Clark said, causing Jimmy to turn halfway back to
his work station -- an area he shared with other researchers.
"You can use the computer at my desk while we're gone if you
need to."

Jimmy's eyes lit up as if it were Christmas and he grinned.

"Whoa, thanks, CK!"

Lois watched him go and felt a small tug of nostalgia as she did
so. Jimmy wasn't all that much younger than she and Clark and
yet somehow his youthful exuberance felt like a lifetime ago. And
while a small part of her envied that feeling of just starting
out and standing on that big precipice of job and career, she
wouldn't go back. Not for anything.

Every choice, both good and bad, had led her here -- to her job,
her friends and to Clark. She glanced at Clark out of the corner
of her eye and saw him gazing at her intently.

She looked back at him and grinned. "What are you thinking
about?"

"Whether we're ready to hand in the assassination piece and get
out of here," he replied, his voice low and quiet sending
shivers up her spine.

"There might be the odd spelling mistake or two," Lois
admitted, feeling suddenly breathless. The look he was giving her
had to be illegal, and she found herself wondering if everyone
else could see the way his every intention seemed to be written
all over his face. "Do you...want to edit my copy?"

*Did that sound dirty? Oh God, somehow she'd made it sound
dirty!*

"Perry's an editor right?" Clark said as he stood up, took her
hand and pulled her to her feet, leaning close to her ear where
he spoke in a quiet rasp. "He can handle it. Come back to my
apartment. I need to touch you."

She swallowed heavily, grabbed her coat and allowed him to lead
her out of the newsroom, heart beating wildly as erotic scenes
played on repeat in her mind.

***

Chapter 37

They'd barely made it through the door of Clark's apartment
before his lips and hands were on her. She responded with equal
fervour, grabbing him by the tie and pulling him towards his
living room.

In the haze of passion, she forgot about the steps in his
apartment and found herself falling backwards only to be caught
by him as he floated the two of them down the stairs and pulled
her flush against his body once more.

His tongue swept her mouth, teasing hers in a way that drove her
crazy.

"I...think...I'm...addicted...to...kissing...you." He spoke
breathlessly in between, as his hands cupped her face and hers
busied themselves with undoing the buttons of his shirt.

He felt so good. Everything about this felt so good. It was the
strangest feeling -- a feeling of intensity mixed with safety.
She trusted him with every cell in her body and yet she'd never
felt so alive -- so frantic for his touch.

They clumsily started to make their way back towards his bedroom,
while Lois' fingers still struggled with his shirt buttons.

"Just rip it," he growled as he began kissing his way down her
neck.

She hesitated and then did as he suggested, ripping the shirt
open to reveal the familiar blue suit underneath. They'd flown
high above the clouds on the way back to the apartment for a
number of reasons -- some to do with his present state of arousal
-- but in doing so, it meant he hadn't had to change into the
suit. Lois made a frustrated noise low in her throat.

"This damn suit," she muttered. He stepped back and grinned at
her, his chest rising and falling rapidly as he shrugged the
ripped shirt off, revealing the S underneath.

"I thought you liked the suit," he said, his voice almost a
purr that sent jolts of heat to all the right places.

"I do," Lois replied, reaching out and grabbing his belt buckle
to pull him close once more. She stood on her tiptoes and
whispered into the hollow of his ear, "But right now it's in
between me and what I want."

"And what exactly do you want?" Clark asked, his voice
deepening in a way that told her his control was slipping. She
met his eyes and almost gasped at the raw need in them. She could
see every kiss, every movement, every touch and every gasp of
pleasure in those eyes.

"You," she breathed, "I need you."

Lois reached up and wrapped her arms around Clark's neck,
bringing his lips to hers in a tender kiss.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity squeezed into a
heartbeat, Clark kissed her gently once more and whispered, "I
love you".

Then, he gathered her into his arms and carried her into the
bedroom.

***

There was still so much left to do. Lois couldn't help but think
of the monumental tasks that lay before both of them as her cheek
lay pressed against the warm expanse of his chest.

She knew she shouldn't be thinking of her to-do list right now.
They had just made love. They had four days off work and beyond
that, a lifetime ahead of them. Lex Luthor was gone and they were
finally free. *She* was finally free. And yet that freedom had
come at a cost. And behind every beautiful and pure moment she
had with Clark lurked the darkness that sometimes threatened to
overwhelm her. She had to hope that it wouldn't always be like
this. It hadn't even been a full twenty-four hours since the
attack. She had to believe that things would get better in time,
but for now...

A to-do list was easy. It was safe.

Call Steven to initiate the process of buying back all of the
companies Lex bought out. Make an appointment with Dr. Friskin.
Look for houses with Clark. Make love to Clark. Make love to
Clark again. And again. And again...

Lois allowed her mind to veer off into fantasy and felt her
eyelids grow heavier as she did so. Clark's heartbeat was warm,
steady and reassuring. She wanted nothing more than to think of
their wedding and future together. But she knew it wasn't that
easy.

"Penny for your thoughts?" He sounded sleepy as well and she
couldn't help but smile. She loved his voice. She loved the way
he said her name in their more intimate moments, the way it
deepend when he was aroused or sounded almost childlike when he
was happy. And sleepy Clark? Definitely an adorable one to add to
the list of 'Clarks' she loved.

"I'm just...thinking," she hedged. She wasn't sure how much
she wanted to tell him. After all, they had just made love. She
didn't want to bring things down with thoughts of Lex's
finances, or her own personal trauma. She wanted to be safe in
this space with him.

"You're making a to-do list in your head aren't you?" he
asked, his voice heavy with warmth and amusement. She sat up and
gave him a mock glare. He gave her a mischievous grin and she
felt a smile creep across her face despite herself.

"I'll have you know I was not...oh, who am I kidding?" She
flopped back down and snuggled back into his arms.

"I know you better than you think," he said, kissing the top of
her head.

"You know me better than anyone," Lois replied. It never ceased
to amaze her how well he knew her. She should have known it was
useless trying to hide her fears from him. Somehow he just knew.
He always knew.

"I could say the same for you," he murmured. His soothing voice
was a balm to the wounds she was still nursing. "All my life,
I've been searching for you. I didn't know what you looked like
or who you were, but I knew you were out there. And the moment I
saw you, I knew I'd found you."

"I wish I had known," she said, swallowing tightly at the
emotion that threatened to overwhelm her. She tried to distract
herself by trailing her finger up and down his chest and
marvelling at the way he seemed to feel both soft and solid at
the same time. "I wish I could have looked at you and seen *you*
the way you saw me. We wasted so much time..."

"You had your own searching to do," Clark told her gently. He
sat up and she did as well, snuggling into the crook of his
shoulder. "I'm just so glad you found me at the end of it.
Because, the truth is, without you, there would be no Superman.
Everything I've done, everyone I've saved, I owe to you. You
gave me a reason to keep going. To keep fighting."

"I just gave Superman the name," she protested, overwhelmed by
the faith he seemed to have in her. It was difficult to wrap her
head around the idea that the strongest man on the planet needed
her.

"You gave me more than that," he said, reaching down and
tipping her chin up to look at him. The love she saw reflected
back at her from the depths of those warm brown eyes was both
intense and peaceful. "Without you, I would probably still be
wandering, trying to find my place. You gave me a home and a
purpose. You saved me, in every way a man could be saved."

"Clark," she whispered, her voice thick with emotion. She had
no other words for him -- no grand speeches or declarations. Just
his name on her lips. She fought to keep her emotions at bay as
he leaned down to kiss her -- a tender, yet breathtaking kiss.

"We *will* get through this," he vowed softly. "I know that we
never imagined starting our lives together under these
circumstances, but I don't think for a minute that this will
break us."

"How can you have so much faith?" she marvelled. "Where does
it come from?"

"You," he replied with a heartbreaking smile. "It's always
been you. I can't help but be in awe of you. But you don't have
to carry the weight of this alone. Let me help."

"My Superman," she breathed, kissing his lips, his cheeks, his
neck and down to his shoulders. "My Clark. If I taught you how
to be strong, then you taught me how to be vulnerable."

"See?" he said, smiling at her. "Hottest team in town."

She kissed her way further down his chest, running her hands over
his abdomen and down towards his torso. She knew there were still
a million things left to do, but right now all she wanted was to
get lost in him. They didn't have to figure everything out
today, or even tomorrow.

"Hottest team indeed," she said as she kissed his belly button
and a soft moan escaped him.

She understood now. She was finally home.

And she never wanted to leave.

***

Epilogue

The hotel room was dark. A small light on the table beside the
bed provided the only source of light. Lois lay in Clark's arms,
in the aftermath of their lovemaking. The wedding ceremony had
been incredible, their vows deeply personal and the reception so
full of joy and laughter that she might have thought it all a
dream were it not for her wedding dress and his tux lying
unceremoniously on the floor, dumped carelessly in the midst of
their passion.

She lay on his chest, with every reason in the world to feel as
if everything was perfect. The nightmares, while still there,
were less frequent and Clark would banish them with his body and
his words the moment she woke up. They were scheduled to leave
for Hawaii the following morning. They could have left
immediately after the reception, but even with the convenience of
a husband who could fly, Lois had wanted to spend their first
night as husband and wife in their own bed. In their new home.

In the two months between the attack and the wedding, Lois and
Clark had found and moved into a beautiful brownstone building.
She wasn't sure how she'd known it, but something inside her
had told her that this was where they would spend the rest of
their lives as a married couple. It was a lot to plan a wedding
and a move at the same time, but Lois found herself very
motivated once the decision was made to find their forever home.
Her own place was too full of memories and staying at his place
made it feel as if they were still playing house.

And now, they were married in a new home, about to embark on that
happily ever after. And yet, Lois' anxieties were still there.
Despite her bi-weekly meetings with Dr. Friskin, and despite that
her wedding to Clark had gone off without a hitch, and despite
the fact that their new house was beyond perfect, she couldn't
help but worry.

Clark shifted slightly and Lois gave a soft sigh, her cheek warm
against his chest. She wondered if the wedding was everything he
had hoped it would be. Their lovemaking had been perfect --
beyond perfect. They had spent the last two months exploring
their bodies, talking about what pleased them and getting used to
the change in their relationship in the wake of a great deal of
trauma.

But deep down, Lois couldn't help but wonder if it would have
been better to wait. He'd been a virgin and she hadn't. He'd
told her that he had wanted their wedding night to be special and
Lois worried that she might have robbed him of that experience.
Doctor Friskin had assured her at their last session before the
wedding that Clark wouldn't see it that way, and Lois knew she
was right.

But regardless, Lois knew that their first time had happened the
night after she'd nearly been killed and something inside her
told her that it shouldn't have happened that way -- that Clark
deserved a first time free of trauma and pain. She knew that was
her own guilt talking, but it was a feeling she couldn't seem to
shake, and it seemed to resurface in these moments of quiet.

"Are you okay?" Clark whispered, as if reading her thoughts.

"Of course, I'm --" Lois paused, hearing Doctor Friskin's
voice in her head, urging her to communicate. "I'm...not
sure."

"You want to tell me about it?"

"I..." she hesitated. She didn't want to bring down their
wedding night with heavy thoughts and yet, she knew that Doctor
Friskin would encourage her to share them. "I guess I'm just
thinking that maybe we should have waited...for our wedding
night, I mean."

"Why do you think that?" he asked, and she was grateful to hear
only concern in his tone.

"I just...it was supposed to be special. Your first time, I
mean. And waiting until the wedding...well, I just think maybe it
would have been even more special to have your first time as
husband and wife."

She left out the rest. She left out the part where his first time
shouldn't have been the same night that her ex-fiance took a
nosedive out of her third-story window and bled out on the
sidewalk in front of her apartment.

"Honey, where is this coming from?" He sat up, and she did as
well. He reached out and brushed a stray bit of hair out of her
face, studying her expression intently as he did so. "You know
that it doesn't matter to me if our first time was on our
wedding night or not. All that matters is that it was with you.
What's really on your mind?"

"It shouldn't have had to happen that way." She looked down,
trying to keep the tightness out of her throat. She didn't want
to cry. Not on her wedding night. "Your first time shouldn't
have been the same night that --"

"Lois, look at me," he said, his voice soft but fervent. She
did and he leaned over and kissed her with aching tenderness.

"If I could go back, the only thing I would do differently would
be to stop Luthor before he ever got to you. I hate that he
caused you pain. But I would not change a thing about the way we
first made love."

"How can you mean that?" she asked, her voice a hoarse whisper.
"You said you wanted our first time to be special and --"

"Our first time happened at one of the darkest moments we've
ever faced," he replied quietly. "We have both been through so
much. And that night was so hard and you were so brave and we
needed that, Lois, both of us. We needed it to heal, to become
stronger. We needed to make love to chase away the dark. And I
don't regret a single second of it. I never have and I never
will."

"I love you," she told him. "I love you so much and it feels
like those words are totally inadequate to describe how I'm
feeling but...I love you."

"I love you too," he replied. He kissed her again and when he
pulled back she could see an impish grin playing across his
features. "Besides that may have been our first time making
love, but there are lots of other firsts."

"Oh?" she teased, feeling her heart lighten the way it always
did after a serious conversation with him. "You have any other
firsts in mind?"

"Mmmm, lots," he said, his eyes darkening ever so slightly. He
reached out and ran a hand down her face, her neck and over her
shoulder. She shivered and despite their recent love making, she
felt her body awaken at his touch. She could tell he was
similarly affected by the look in his eyes. She loved that look.

"What kind of firsts?" she asked, biting her lip in
anticipation.

"Fantasies," he replied, his voice gruff. "Things I...want to
try now that we know each other better. Trust each other. Things
I've never done before, so they would still be first times." He
was softly running his fingers up and down her arms, and she
sucked in a sharp breath. He'd had fantasies. Suddenly she
wanted to hear them more than anything.

"Tell me," she implored. "Tell me one of your fantasies."

"I'll show you mine if you show me yours," he shot back with a
sexy grin. Lois felt herself smile too. "I bet you've got some,
right?"

Oh she had some alright.

"You go first," she said, feeling both turned on and shy all of
a sudden.

Her desire only grew as he described his fantasies, shyly at
first, but with more sureness as they both went on to describe
several fantasies...making love outdoors, outdoors, in the
conference room...a replay of the dance of the seven veils...

She even worked up the courage to share a more risque fantasy or
two, feeling for the first time that she could really talk to
someone about what she wanted and know that not only would he
listen, but that he would move heaven and earth to make it
happen. She'd never felt so safe in her life and after
everything that had happened she needed that. She needed to feel
that she *could* be so vulnerable with him.

And soon, the descriptions of the fantasies were too much for
both of them, and they made love again -- intensely,
passionately. It felt like its own first time and Lois knew
somehow that it would always feel this way as long as they
continued to communicate.

As they laid there in the aftermath of their lovemaking, neither
one of them felt particularly inclined to move.

"That was incredible," she told him softly. "I didn't realise
you wanted...that you had thought of all of those fantasies."

"You see? I told you we have a lifetime of firsts ahead of us,"
he said, sounding both drowsy and satisfied. "We have so much
time for firsts. I haven't missed out on anything. We're only
just beginning, Lois. You and me."

"I know," she replied feeling full and warm and as far away
from grief and pain as you could get. She was here in his arms.

"Welcome home," he said, before they both drifted off to
sleep.

THE END