Life or Death By NostalgiaKick Rated PG Submitted May 2016 Summary: You don't know what you've got 'til it's gone. Story Size: 400 words (2Kb as text) Disclaimer: All recognisable characters, plotlines etc. are the property of DC Comics, Warner Bros and December 3rd Productions. I own nothing. Author's note: Set during TOGOM, after Clark's 'death' but before his supposed resurrection. #28 in the At First Sight series. This story is part of a series that includes "1. At First Sight," "2. A Matter of Time," "3. Evil Lurks," "4. Invisible," "5. Gratitude," "6. Unprofessional Behaviour," "7. But For the Grace of God," "8. Vulnerable," "9. Decisions," "10. A Terrible Mistake," "11. Facets," "12. Terrified," "13. A Remarkable Woman," "14. The Aftermath of Illusion," "15. Black, White and Shades of Grey," "16. Tainted," "17. Betrayal,""18. Brothers,""19. Saving the Enemy," "20. Aching," "21. Healing," "22. Defending Myself," and "23. Euphoria," and "24. Family Ties," and "25. Two Steps Forward" and "26. Vigilante" and "27. Friendship" and "28. Life Or Death" and "29. Ramifications" and "30. Christmas Magic" and "31. Situational Ethics." *** Clark Kent is dead. Everything I wanted, everything I've worked for, is gone. What do I do now? *** I had no choice but to let Clark die. After being shot in the chest at close range in front of so many witnesses, what else could I do? It's one thing to contemplate telling one, trusted person about my secret, and quite another to let a group of strangers find it out. I think that if I'd gone to her last night, I could have told Lois the truth- that mere bullets can't hurt me. That her partner and friend still lived. Perhaps I even should have told her. But it seemed cruel, somehow. With no way out, I couldn't see a benefit to her knowing. She's better off thinking that Clark is dead than knowing I'm alive and can't return to my former life. I still have Superman, but as I told my parents, that's not how I want to live my life. Superman isn't a part of this world, not really. He appears when needed and then flies away. He can't have a normal life; can't form close friendships, can't have a relationship, can't even do something as normal and everyday as going and seeing a movie. Being Superman all day, every day isn't living. It's existing. I want my life back. I want to be able to listen to Perry's infinite fund of Elvis stories. I want to be interrupted in the middle of something important by Jimmy with his uncanny and unfortunate sense of timing. I want to argue story ideas with Lois and edit her copy. All the day to day things that Superman can't do. I want to be Clark Kent. In a strange way, I understand the regenerated gangsters. They've been given the means to relive their lives and they've seized that chance in the only way they know how. Thanks to Hamilton, they have a second chance. Hamilton was their answer. Maybe, just maybe, he could also be mine. THE END