Lunkheads

By bakasi <bakasi_dick@hotmail.com>

Rated G

Submitted April 2013

Summary: H.G. Wells is on yet another journey through several universes, trying to save the world. Tired and sick of what she has seen so far, Lois has just one question: Why help all those lunkheads?

***

“I’m beat,” Lois sighed, as she sank down onto the seat of the time-machine. “When you asked us to help you, I didn’t think rescuing Utopia would be so difficult!” She rubbed her neck as a headache was starting to build up. This had already been a long day, and there was no telling when H.G. Wells would consider this mission to be complete.

“Why is it that we need to travel through so many different universes, anyway? I thought that everything was fine in our own,” Clark asked as he joined Lois. “You said that the last time you visited the future, Utopia was still intact.” He furrowed his brows, exasperated at the fact that the author so far had been pretty secretive.

“Ah, well, yes,” H.G. Wells said and blushed at the remark. “But there were slight changes that I wasn’t able to explain. It was just a tad bit darker than it used to be. Look, I would love to explain it more in detail, but we…”

“…need to hurry,” Lois and Clark finished in unison, most definitely not hearing this for the first time.

“You keep saying that, Herbert,” Lois continued impatiently. “But I just don’t see why we should help all those tremendous lunkheads out there. I didn’t know how lucky I am that *my* Clark is just a regular sized one.”

“Lois…” Clark said with a hint of annoyance in his voice. “Try to understand them — being different from anyone else is not easy. It’s completely natural for them to be…”

“Don’t you even try to defend them, Clark!” Lois snorted. “Let me see, where have we been so far? First it was a universe in which Clark is in love with Lana Lang, a girl that is wearing a kryptonite necklace, for goodness sake! He didn’t even realize how badly she was treating him. And his Lois…”

“He hadn’t yet met her,” Clark pointed out.

“Pshaw! He’s a lunkhead all the same! When he later met his Lois, he kept ignoring her. It took ages to make him see that she was his soul-mate,” Lois replied, shaking her head in disbelief. She braced herself for another journey through time and space as H.G. Wells once more started the engine of his time-machine. The world around them faded and soon they were again rushing through interdimensional space.

“All I’m saying, is…” Clark tried once more, but Lois flashed him a glance that instantly silenced him.

“In the second universe Clark ran off to find a dead planet, instead of staying with his Lois who was pregnant with his child!” Lois went on, fuming. “And he didn’t even have the guts to tell her about his plans, or that he’s Superman for that matter. Concerning those other guys we saw — don’t even get me started on them! So will you please tell us why we had to interrupt our first vacation in, well… ever just to help you bring those idiots to terms?”

“Well, like I said, it’s complicated.” H.G. Wells said uneasily. “To cut a long story short, you could say that all those universes without a Utopia seriously disturb the balance between good and evil. Eventually, this effect will destroy our Utopia as well.” He looked over his shoulder to check if he still had their attention. Obviously content, he continued. “When I was last there, I could already see the first signs of this development. If we find enough universes that we can influence in such a way that the Loises and Clarks there will found Utopia, we can restore the balance and our Utopia will be safe.”

“Uh huh,” Lois muttered, trying to understand what Wells had just told her. It did not seem to make a lot of sense. Anyway, the bottom line was that they were far from finished. She sighed and tried to get more comfortable in her seat. This was going to be a long day.

Eventually, the colours around them changed as they reached yet another universe. Next to her, Clark could hardly stifle a yawn. He looked just as tired as she was. Gradually, their surroundings became clearer and Lois watched just another Lois and Clark, sharing a long kiss. So far, this wasn’t so bad, she thought. But what happened next made her mouth gap open. Her heart missed a beat. Then she felt white hot fury burn through her.

“Okay, that’s it. I’m done here,” Lois exploded. “Did this *** actually wipe her memory with a kiss?”

THE END