By Lynn S. M. <lois_and_clark_fan_at_verizon.net (Replace _at_ with @)>
Rated G
Submitted January 2011
Summary: An olio of amusements. Pure fluff.
Read in other formats: Text | MS Word | OpenOffice | PDF | Epub | Mobi
Standard Disclaimers: I do not own Lois, Clark, Jor-El, or anything or anyone else related to Superman. I am merely borrowing the characters from Warner Brothers and DC Comics for a bit of not-for-profit fun.
All feedback welcomed.
***
1.
Perry addressed his two star reporters about the impending teachers’ strike. “Lois, go to the schools. Engage the faculty in discussions and find out why they are unhappy with the proposed contract.
“Clark, enter the playgrounds, lunchrooms, or anywhere else you can talk to the students. Find out how the dispute is affecting them.
“Oh, and Lois? Before you start some big rant about this assignment... It is non-negotiable. The orders came from up above. Seems some of the bigwigs have grandkids in the school district and they are showing their concern by insisting our best reporters cover the story. So, you’ll stay on this story until a new contract has been signed. Understand? Now, hit every school in the district. You have your assignments! What are you waiting for?”
***
And now, gentle reader, your assignment is to discover what is unusual about the above vignette. The answer is to be found at the bottom of this file.
***
2.
1) I will cut down on sweets -- no more than 10 Twinkies per meal.
2) I will exercise more -- I will fly five laps around the world each morning before breakfast.
3) I will develop a list of pre-planned excuses so that I won’t resort to such cheesy ones as I have used in the past.
4) I will not destroy any more keyboards by speed-typing.
5) I will not be lunkheaded.
6) When I tell Lois to stay put and she agrees to do so, I won’t believe her.
7) I will try to make friends with people who aren't coworkers, sociopaths, or both.
8) I will try to be a better neighbor by not disturbing the peace with so many sonic booms.
9) I will take some continuing education courses to learn how to make my own ties.
10) I won’t make fun of Lois’ cooking -- no matter how much it deserves it!
***
3.
Said the Dad of a baby named Kal,
"I can't save myself or my gal.
But when this planet goes, 'Boom,'
From this horrible doom,
Save our baby, I must -- and I shall!"
***
4.
The challenge was to come up with a story with the word "duck" as the theme. Additional disclaimer: I don’t own anything Groucho Marx related
“Honey, wake up!” Lois gently nudged Clark’s shoulder.
“Hunh?”
“You were having a nightmare.”
Clark turned over to look at his wife. “Thanks for waking me. It was the strangest dream.”
“Want to tell me about it?”
“Sure. Do you remember the old Groucho Marx show, ‘You Bet Your Life’?”
“I’ve never seen it, but wasn’t that the one where Groucho interviewed the contestants; and if they said a secret word, a duck came down from the ceiling and they won some sort of prize?”
“Yep. That’s the one. I was a contestant on the show. Groucho asked me what I did for a living, and I told him that I was an investigative reporter for the Daily Planet. Apparently, “planet” was the secret word.” Clark paused, his face clouding over.
Lois chimed in, “That sounds like a pleasant dream so far. What happened next?”
“That’s when the dream turned into a nightmare. The duck came down, only it wasn’t a duck at all – It was a Superman doll. As I looked at it in horror, Groucho said, “We had that specially made for you, Clark Kent – Or should I say, ‘Superman’?” Everyone in the audience started pointing at me and chanting, “Clark Kent is Superman! Clark Kent is Superman!’ And that’s when you woke me up.”
Lois responded, “Oh, Clark, that does sound awful. I guess that’s the last time you watch Duck Soup right before bed!”
"You bet your life!"
***
This vignette was a writing challenge I set myself to keep awake during a long and otherwise unproductive meeting at work.
All of the last names of season 2 regulars have been embedded into the story: Kent (covering Jonathon and Martha as well as Clark), Lane, White, and Olsen. Season one's (Cat) was also thrown in Grant for good measure.
Specifically, the names are included in the phrases as indicated below. I have put asterisks around each name and bolded the name to make it easier to see across the word boundaries.
"scho*ols. En*gage the faculty" (Olsen)
“Clar*k, ent*er the playgrounds" (Kent)
*Before you start some bi*g rant*" (Grant)
"So, you’ll stay on this story unti*l a ne*w contract has been signed." (Lane)
"No*w, hit e*very school in the district." (White)
THE END