The Raincat

By Classicalla <>

Rated: PG 13

Submitted: January 2007

Summary: Cat Grant once again attempts to make Clark Kent one of her conquests, and in so doing, she makes a fool of herself once again.

This occurs sometime within the first season and is a comedy about the trials and tribulations of being Cat Grant.

I'd like to thank Olympe for being kind enough to beta-read. I'd also like to thank LabRat for GEing.

Disclaimer: The familiar characters and settings belong to DC Comics, Warner Bros., December 3rd Productions and anyone else who may have any legal right to claim them. I am not profiting by their use.


Catherine 'Cat' Grant was not to be rebuffed. She knew what she wanted, and she wanted Clark Kent. He had been to her apartment. She had done everything right. It hadn't worked. Clark Kent had not shared her bed, her couch, or even her kitchen table for that matter, and they had certainly never swung from chandeliers wearing black leather.

Well, if she couldn't have him in her apartment then she'd have him in his. She knew Lois was on a date with Luthor tonight so she wouldn't be around to interrupt things.

She had a plan to make him see just what he was missing. She took a shower and got all prettied up. Everything was ready. The weather was even cooperating perfectly. Now she would go to Clark's apartment.

Cat knocked on Clark's door. He came to the door and smiled. He had the most heart-rending smile in the world. Cat smiled back. "Clark, I hope you don't mind me popping in. It's just that it's raining so hard that I can hardly see to drive. Do you care if I stay here for a bit?" Her raincoat was dripping with water.

Clark wondered what she was up to. Cat wouldn't come to his apartment because it was raining — no matter how hard it was raining. He raised an eyebrow and said, "Sure, Cat."

She walked in and Clark closed the door. When he turned back around, Cat's raincoat was on the floor. She had nothing on. His eyes widened and Cat took that as her cue. "Clark, I want you. You can't tell me that you don't feel the same." She smiled seductively and batted her lashes. Then she approached him quickly and enveloped him in a passionate embrace. She tried to kiss him, but he pushed her away.

He sighed heavily. "Cat, I don't believe in gratuitous sex. I told you that."

"Oh, but Clark, would it be gratuitous if we both had fun?"

He rolled his eyes. "Yes, Cat. It would."

Cat frowned. "You are not any fun, Clark Kent."

For the next hour, Cat sashayed around trying her best to seduce Clark. She pursed her lips and put her hand on her hips. "Why, Clark? Why? You act like I don't even affect you. I know you aren't gay, so what's the deal?" Then an idea hit her. It was absurd, but could it be true? She smiled then opened her mouth in a big 'O' as she had just learned something important. "You… You've never… You're a virgin. That's why you don't want to do this."

Clark was taken aback. He sure the heck wasn't going to admit this to Cat, and she sure the heck wasn't going to be his first. He couldn't keep from blushing ever so slightly. He hoped she wouldn't notice. "Cat! Why would you think that?"

"Well, Clark. Just because I don't report the big stories doesn't mean I'm not a good reporter. I catch on to things pretty well. You are, aren't you? Otherwise, why are you blushing?"

He wasn't admitting this. He just shook his head no.

"Prove it."

He sighed, "I don't think that's necessary."

"If you don't, then I'll tell everybody in the newsroom. Prove it."

Clark took a deep breath and approached her. He didn't really care what she said to anyone, but he wanted to get her out of his hair. He didn't plan on doing anything…except kiss her. He knew he was a darn good kisser. He kissed her and left her wanting for more. She was looking up at him expectantly as he pulled back from her. "Still think anybody that kisses like that is a virgin, Cat?"

Cat couldn't argue with that. She'd *never* been kissed like that. It was the best kiss ever. She stepped forward and started to put her arms around him for another kiss.

Clark pursed his lips. "Cat, like I said. I don't believe in gratuitous sex. It's not going to happen. Not now, not ever."

She sighed somewhat angrily, picked her up raincoat, donned it and walked to the door. "You don't know what you're missing." She paused. "Correction. I don't know what *I'm* missing." She shook her head and hurried out the door.

He chuckled. *Clark Kent* had saved the day.