Nightmare on Carter Avenue

By Jen D <>

Rated: G

Submitted: October, 2006

Summary: In this short comedy, the author explores what Lois Lane's worst nightmare might be.

Notes: Omg, I have to put in a header?! That should tell you how long it's been since I've submitted something. I actually looked up my own name to see how I submitted previous stories. Anyway, so I haven't written anything in at least a year. And suddenly when I was eating my questionable turkey burger for dinner, I wondered, what would be Lois' worst nightmare? I started typing one night just to see what would happen, and I totally came up with a story, which has been unheard of in my little world. A big thanks to my GE! I love you guys, and…that's about it from me! I truly appreciate any kind of constructive feedback. I'll happily read my own story if no one else does, but that's kind of lame haha. Best always, Jen


It was the start of another average day as Lois Lane rifled through her closet for a work outfit. Go to work, yell at Clark, eat lunch, get kidnapped, write some copy, and hopefully be home in time to catch a new episode of The Ivory Tower.

Was she out of Rocky Road?

Her morning thoughts slammed to a halt. She couldn't watch The Ivory Tower without Rocky Road. It was humanly impossible. Mostly dressed, Lois, dashed over to her freezer and threw open the door. Shaking the ice cream tub, she sighed in relief. At least enough to get her through the crying. Not NEARLY enough to make it through two episodes if she put on her tapes later. But she could make it through the first round of crying.

Satisfied, Lois continued her morning rituals until she was ready to walk out the door to work.

Yep, just another average day.


The elevator door opened, and Lois stepped into the newsroom immediately heading towards the coffee station. Plain as day, her coffee cup was sitting there untouched.

You've got to be kidding.

Clark was like clockwork this week with her coffee. She'd step off the elevator, and she'd reach for her cup that wasn't at the coffee station. Fuming she'd sit down at her desk, grudgingly surprised to find a fresh, steaming cup. If he was in a really good mood, as opposed to just the morning Kansas perky shut-up-and-let-the-rest-of-us-ease-into-our-day kind of perky, she'd find a doughnut too.

But there the lonely, untouched cup sat.

It gleamed white, and the Daily Planet logo jumped out at her as if it knew it didn't belong there.

First, the ice cream episode, and now she had to fill her own cup.

Wait. She'd have to make a whole darn pot first.

What was with this day?

Forget it. Lois walked down the ramp into the bullpen. She'd persuade Clark to pick up some of the real stuff in a few minutes after she sat down at her…


Someone. Was Sitting. At Her Desk.

Her Desk.

Some blonde-out-of-a-bottle fluzy with her skirt up to *there* and her blouse down to *there* was on *her* *computer* checking her *email*.

Lois stood murderously behind her, unnoticed for what seemed like ages. If looks could kill, the blonde would be a pile of yellow-dyed ash.

"I don't think we've met," Lois finally gritted out of her mouth, teeth clenched.

Still Lois remained unnoticed.

"Morning, CK!" she heard Jimmy yell cheerfully.

Finally! Something normal. Well if you count Kansas Greenjeans as normal. Whatever. She'd settle for anything right now. Oh perfect! Clark was carrying her steaming mug of coffee. *And* a doughnut! He must be in a great mood today. Lois held out her hand. "Thanks, Cla—" Wait. He just handed her breakfast over to the fluzy!

"Oh, Clark," Fluzy gushed. "You're always trying to fatten me up with these things!" Oh, pul-ease. Lois rolled her eyes. "Why don't you do something more productive and edit my copy over here. You're such a better writer than I am!"

Lois didn't know whether to laugh or cry. "Are you kidding!" She practically screamed in Fluzy's ear. "He's from Kansas! He's been here less than a month! I could run circles around him! What the heck is going on here!"

Perry White suddenly stuck his head out his office door. "Hey guys, great job again on that second Pulitzer nomination. The dog show you nabbed really came through. The rest of you could really learn something from these two!" he barked to the rest of the staff.

"Perry's so sweet," Fluzy gushed. "Hey, Clark, you should really come over tonight. I've got a lot more free time now that they cancelled The Ivory Tower! Anyway we should rush to our next interview; we're going to be late."

They were nominated for a Pulitzer?! For a DOG show?!

They were nominated for TWO Pulitzers?!

They're at her desk?!

They're using her coffee cup?!

They cancelled The Ivory Tower?!


Lois jerked awake to the ringing phone. "Who? What?" She fumbled frantically and finally got the receiver to her ear. "They're going to be late!"

"Geez, Lois, this is the second phone call now. I said you overslept, and *we're* going to be late," Clark patiently warned her. "Have you been watching too much Ivory Tower or something?" he teased.

"Clark don't *even* joke about that!"