By Mary Potts aka Queen of the Capes <firstname.lastname@example.org>
Submitted: December, 2005
Summary: Four kids…One remote…things may get just a tad ugly.
This is just a bit of nonsense that came to me in the middle of last night. I just now finished it. Hope you enjoy. :)
Anti-Tank Warning: Tank Wilson, you may want to look away. Run! Run, man! Don't stop until you're safe on the other side of the website!
"Oh no, Princess Rose! Whatever shall we do? It's almost time for Princess Daisy's birthday party, and we still do not have a cake!"
"Do not worry, Princess Tulip! I will go get on my unicorn, Honey-Sweet, and ride to—"
Noel shot a vicious glare at her brother. "Jordan! What did you do?!" she shrieked.
"Change the channel!" Jordan snapped. "If I have to hear any more about those stupid Pretty Pink Princesses and their stupid Pretty Pink Castle, I'm going to puke! I want to watch something else!"
He pointed the remote at the TV.
"So you see, Captain Bazooka, we need you to go to Dr. Death's secret fortress on the moon and stop him before he uses his Doom Device to blow up the Canadian province of Ontario!"
"Great Orion's Belt! We can't let that—"
"NOEL!!!" Jordan grabbed the remote and tried to pry it out of his sister's hands.
She held on tightly to it, refusing to surrender control of the TV to her sibling. The two were soon locked in a tug-of-war, with neither side surrendering!
"Hurry, Honey-Sweet! We have to get that cake for Princess—"
"…absolutely impenetrable, and guarded by fifty-foot—"
"…through the Happy Forest, and then we can—"
"We have to stop that madman from blowing up Canada and stealing the world's supply of—"
"…chocolate cake with strawberry icing!"
The remote was soon dropped as the two combatants wrestled! They quickly dove after it, but a somewhat larger third party beat them to it.
"Jamie, no!" they whined.
"You guys had your turn!" their older brother insisted. "I want to watch monster trucks!"
"And we're BACK with more MONSTER truck ACTION!!!! So far The SHREDDER is really CLOBBERING—"
"Hello, Mister Bunny. How are—?"
"Noel, cut that out!" Jamie hissed as he snatched the remote away from his little sister.
Noel put her hands on her hips. "I want to watch Pretty Pink Princesses!"
"And I want to watch the Bazooka Squad!" Jordan wailed.
"Well, tough!" said Jamie. "It's my turn, and I want to watch—"
"—Okay guys, move over and hand me the remote."
Three heads turned in unison toward the newcomer.
Clara put her hand out for the remote control. "Come on. It's four o'clock, time for Louisa and Mark. So hand it over!"
"No!" Jamie held the remote away from her. "It's my turn!"
"Look," said Clara, "I'm in charge until Mom and Dad get back, and I say we're watching Louisa and Mark!"
Jamie stubbornly hugged the remote to his body. "I'm telling Mom that you're an abuser of power!"
"Who wants to watch a show about a reporter who turns into a big green man, anyway?"
"Just hand me the remote!" said Clara.
Jamie glared at her. "Make me!"
Five minutes later, the four of them sat in front of the television watching Louisa and Mark. Jamie sat at the far end of the couch, nursing his sore arm. "This is stupid!" Jamie muttered.
"Quiet!" said Clara.
"Eww! Gross!" Noel and Jordan began to shriek. "They're kissing! They're kissing! Ew!"
Clara rolled her eyes. "Oh, grow up."
"Okay, it's a commercial now. Can we switch back to Bazooka Squad?"
"Sure." Clara tossed Jordan the remote. "But only until the commercials are over, I don't want to miss this episode."
"Hey!" Noel protested, "How come *he* gets to watch *his* show?"
"Because I asked!" came Jordan's reply.
Noel, however, would not be appeased. "I want to watch Pretty Pink Princesses!" she cried, and lunged for the remote in Jordan's hands.
"Hey!" came Jamie's voice, "if anything, *I* should get to watch what *I* want because it's *my* turn!"
The three began to battle. Soon, Clara's voice rang out over the squabble. "Okay, guys, give it back. My show's back on!"
They ignored her, however, so Clara was forced to reach over Jordan and try to pry the remote from Noel's fingers. She wouldn't let go, however, and it didn't help that two other pairs of hands were *also* trying to wrench it from her. The four of them grabbed and pawed at the sacred device, causing the screen in front of them to flicker.
"…and it's part of this complete break—"
"…having your baby, and—"
"The truth is somewhere out—"
"…to lunch with Senator—"
"Oh! My nose!"
"…major fire at Hobbs Bay, Superman—"
"Hey!" Jordan yelled. "Put that back on! Dad was on the news!"
"Big deal!" said Clara. "I'm missing Louisa and Mark!" She made another lunge for the remote.
"On sale for—"
"I tawt I taw a putty—"
"…leaving you, John, and—"
"…was waiting to buy my wife a bagel' he was heard to whine as he was led a—"
They continued to wrestle until finally they noticed an eerie silence coming from their favorite piece of furniture. All four of them looked up and noticed that the screen was blue.
Clara disentangled herself from the group and shot a look at Jamie. "What did you do?!"
"I didn't do anything!" said Jamie, crawling out from under Noel and Jordan. "You must have hit something!"
"I didn't hit anything!" Clara snorted. "It was one of you guys!"
"Not me!" said Noel.
"I didn't do it!" Jordan also insisted.
Clara folded her arms. "Well, this is just great! The TV is busted, and now I'll completely miss the episode! I wonder if Carrie is taping it…"
"I'm not gonna find out how Bazooka Squad ends!" Jordan whined.
"I'll tell you how it ends!" said Clara. "They save the day five minutes before the show ends!"
"But how do you know for sure?" Jordan protested.
Clara just rolled her eyes and sighed.
Jamie flopped back on the couch. "Well, now what are we gonna do?"
"I know!" Noel, who had been sulking all this time, suddenly brightened. "How about we play pretend! I can be Princess Rose, Clara can be Princess Daisy, and Jamie and Jordan can be our unicorns!"
"How about we stuff a sock in your mouth and put you in the fridge?" said Jordan.
"Hey, that might not be such a bad idea," said Clara.
Noel clapped her hands over her mouth. "No! Don't put a sock in my mouth!!"
"I mean playing a game, silly. But not pretend—maybe just a board game or something."
"I think we have a scrabble board around here somewhere," said Jamie. "Maybe we could—"
All of a sudden, the room began to shimmer. The four children turned around in time to see a large, sled-like object materialize in their living room, right behind the sofa! An old man in funny clothes and a bowler hat stepped out of it. The children recognized him at once. "Uncle Herbert!" they all cried in unison.
The gentleman tipped his hat to them. "Good afternoon, children."
"Uncle Herb, are you here to fix the TV?" Noel asked.
"Er, no," the old man replied. "I'm afraid I don't know very much about the things; sorry. Actually, I've come to take you all with me. It seems there has been another—er, slight threat to the time stream, and it is necessary for me to take the seven of you to a place of safety—temporarily, of course."
"Well, yes," said Wells. "Your father, your mother, and all of you children."
The children looked at one another. "Well, um, Mom and Dad aren't here right now," said Clara.
"I see," said Wells. "I assume they have Jerome with them?"
Four sets of eyes blinked. "Jerome?"
"Yes, your youngest sibling, if I'm not mistaken?"
They looked at each other again, then Jamie spoke. "Um, Uncle Herbert? There's only the four of us—"
"And *I'm* the youngest!" Noel squeaked.
The elder gentleman looked taken aback. "What? But how—?" He frantically opened his pocket watch and studied it, then checked the dials on his time machine. "Oh! Oh, dear me! I'm not quite sure how it happened, but it seems I've arrived exactly one year too early. Will you children please keep mum about all this to your parents? I don't like to give away future events. It's bad enough you children now know what you do! Ah, dear me. What a slip!"
"Well, don't worry, Uncle Herb," Clara said. "We won't say a word. Right, guys?"
Her siblings all nodded.
Wells smiled. "Thank you. I'd best be off, now. Oh, and you children needn't worry about the future; the threat, as I said, is a relatively small one, and shall be dealt with directly. You have my personal assurance that no harm shall come to any of you! Well, Cheerio!" He tipped his hat, then climbed back into his machine and was gone, leaving behind four slack-jawed children.
"Wow!" said Jamie. "Do you realize what this means?!"
Jordan nodded. "Yep! There's gonna be someone else to hafta share the remote with!"