The Parrot in Spandex

By Erica Dias <> & Alicia U <>

Rated: G

Submitted: January, 2005.

Summary: When Lois and Superman are dating, not all of their dates go super. The good/evil challenge was born. Enjoy!

Authors' notes: The other day, we were chatting on IRC, and Alicia was complaining about not being able to write anything happy and WAFFy. Being the supportive, evil friend that Erica is, she suggested that it would be fun if Alicia wrote something really sappy and WAFFy and then Erica ruined it — or saved it, if you look at it from her perspective — by writing an evil ending. And the Good/Evil challenge was born.

Here is the challenge:

1. Alicia must write 1 page, and only 1 page, as a WAFFy beginning to a story. Her part must include an animal.

2. Erica must write 1 page, and only 1 page, ruining the WAFFy beginning and giving the story an evil ending. Her part must include Lex.

Any feedback is welcome. But send it to Erica first! Uh? Erica first? No! Alicia first! No, Erica first. No, Alicia first…

Laura — What can I say about writing with my evil mastermind friend? When I was really depressed one day about my mom being in intensive care, she told me that I should write something really sick and WAFFy. Since we had been talking about writing a story together, she told me that she would make my WAFFy part all better … by ruining it. This challenge was a lot of fun, and I am so glad I have such an evil … um, I mean wonderful … writing partner. Obrigada, Erica!

Erica — WAFFy, isn't it a yucky style? Anyway, don't listen to what Alicia says. Bringing Lex never ruins any story. It only gives it more excitement. :P~~. Now, seriously, I'd like to thank Alicia for BRing my part for me. Being an EFL is not easy, but little by little I'm improving, and meanwhile I'm teaching my friends some Portuguese words. Do you see? LOL.


"Amazing," Lois breathed, her lips mere inches from Superman's. She reached out to run her hand across the S on his chest. "I never knew it could feel like this."

"Lois, don't say anything," Superman whispered. He moved forward and brushed his nose against hers. "Not yet." He brought his lips to hers, but before he kissed her, he said, "There's something I have to show you."

Lois moved her hand behind her hero's head. "What?" she asked eagerly, not wanting their intimate moment to be disrupted.

"You'll see." Without waiting for her reply, he pulled her tightly against his chest and took to the sky.

"Oh!" she gasped.

The ground whirred beneath them, but Lois missed the spectacular show. Her eyes were fixed on Superman's, and she didn't want to break that contact. In his deep brown eyes, she got a sense that she instantly knew where she wanted to be for the rest of her life.

"We're here," his voice broke through her thoughts after a few moments in the air.

"Already?" Lois reluctantly pulled her gaze from him and stared at the ground far below them. "Where are we?"

He slowly floated down to the ground. "You'll see."

She rolled her eyes. "You could just tell me." Then her eyes caught a large sign above their final destination. "The Metropolis Zoo?" she asked, puzzled.

"Yeah, I wanted you to meet someone very special to me." A silly grin crossed his face.

She shook her head. "What do you mean? Don't tell me your parents are giraffes."

Superman landed, and put his arm around her back. "Of course not." He laughed, "C'mon. I need to take you to Monkey Island."

"Monkey Island? Don't tell me your parents are monkeys!"

"No, my parents aren't monkeys! Of course not." He grinned. "I have to let you meet Monkeykins."

"Monkey … kins?" She took a step back and shook her head. "I don't think I want to go."

Superman held Lois close and grinned. "Lois, why are you so afraid of a harmless monkey?"

"It brings back bad memories. You remember Assabi, Lex's Indian assistant." With a nod from Clark, Lois continued. "He had a monkey like this. A little monster."

"Lois, they aren't monsters. They're our cute little friends! Some say they are our distant cousins. Actually, I named this little one here Lois. Isn't she cute?"

Lois raised an eyebrow skeptically. "Lois?! Are you implying that I look like a monkey?"

"No…it's not what I…" Clark started stuttering.

"Okay, I don't like this brown chiffon either, but I do not look like a monkey!"

"Lois, I…"

"And what exactly do you call someone wearing blue spandex with red underwear on top? A parrot's cousin?"

"Now, Lois, wait a second. I did not…"

"If this is your idea of a romantic date, you need to get out more often, Superman." She folded her arms in a demanding pose. "You take me home right now!"

"Lois, you're over reacting. I just wanted to show you…"

"Monkeys overreact. I just react. And right now I wanna go home, so either you take me home or I will get myself a cab."

Superman rolled his eyes, giving up. He wasn't going to convince Lois that he just wanted to show her how rare and special his little monkey friends were. He had named the sweet little monkey after her because she was an incredible, rare, and special person. However, as usual, Lois had gotten it all wrong. "Fine, I'll take you home."