By Emily M. Hanson <emilymhanson@yahoo.com>
Rated: G
Submitted: August 2004
Summary: This badfic parody is the sequel to "Kent Stu."
Disclaimers: I do not own the recognizable characters from Lois & Clark. As far as I know, they are owned by DC Comics.
Once again, the grammatical errors and typos in the badfic are intentional.
***
Lois was reading through her e-mail when she happened to notice quite a few nasty messages related to Clark's "Marty Stu" story.
"Your story sux!!!! How could Superman possibly have a secret identity? He'd never be able to get a job, he's an alien!"
"You've got pretty much everything spelled wrong, and your grammar is atrocious. You really need a beta reader! You're a poor excuse for a writer."
"Your story is terrible. You have too many typos. And who is this Lois person that Superman is supposed to be in love with, anyway? Where did she even come from? You need to learn how to write."
Lois Lane blinked in surprise. What the…? She scanned the last comment again. Clearly, it said Lois. Perhaps Clark had made a Freudian slip. It was possible. But how could Superman be in love with her? Well, the story was meant to be a Marty Stu. Maybe Clark had really fallen in love and couldn't bring himself to admit it under normal circumstances. What if this was his way of telling her, and she had missed it? What if he was afraid that she was in love with Superman and that it would affect their friendship?
She opened Clark's file and read the story again. How could she have missed that typo? She'd caught all of the others. That typo had not been deliberate, so it was easier to miss. Maybe she had wanted to miss it subconsciously. Maybe she didn't want to be in love with Clark or Superman. Was she afraid of falling in love?
Lois shook her head. No, that wasn't right. She was not afraid of having a loving relationship. She wanted one, but she wanted it to be with the right person. However, she realized that Superman was a fantasy. That was why she wrote fantasy stories in the first place, because she knew she couldn't have the real thing. A daydream was better than nothing.
On the other hand, she knew that Clark was real, but she felt that he was not being completely honest with her about something. For that reason, she could not love him. If he couldn't tell her everything, then how could he expect her to trust him? But what if he had already told her the truth, a tiny voice inside her said. What if Clark had told her everything, but she had been too blind to see it?
Lois re-read Clark's story once more. Even with all the typos, Lois suddenly saw clearly what Clark had written. It was a Marty Stu, after all — a self-insert. Clark could have been fantasizing about secretly being Superman, but she didn't think so. For one thing, the two men looked too much alike. For another thing, Clark was frequently gone when Superman was saving someone. And there were all of Clark's lame excuses to think about. He acted like a man who was covering up something. It made perfect sense.
Her expression of shock reflected on her computer screen behind the black monitor and the glowing white text. Lois felt galactically stupid. How could she have missed it all along? She had played right into his hands. Well, there was only one thing to do.
***
"You've got new mail," Clark's computer announced cheerfully. He decided not to ignore it this time, since he hadn't checked it during the past hour anyway. The message was from Lois. He double-clicked on the e-mail and read it.
She had sent him another Mary Sue story. Inwardly groaning, he wondered if she was going to make him write another one. It was titled "Wanda Sue & Kent Stu," and it read like this.
***
Wanda Sue Detroit gazed into Kal-El's brillant blue eyes. They were the color of the night sky and clear as day. Super-man smiled charmingky.
"Wanda, there's something I have always wanted to tell you."
"Oh?" What could Superman have to tell here?
"He cleared his throat. "I'm not who you think. I have a secret identy."
Wanda was amaze. "A secred identy?"
"Yes. You see, I am not always the man you see before you. I have another life."
"Oh…" Wanda' jaw dropped. Next thing, he was going to tell her that he was married with six kid.
"My real name is not Kal-El. Well, it is, but it's not my Earth name."
"Of course not. It's Superman." Wanda smiled.
He shook his head. "Superamn is the name you gave me, but it's not mine. My real name is Kent Stu. You see, I'm an reporter. I work for a major metropolitan newspaper. I was afraid to tell you this before. I thought you might hate me for lieing to you." He looked sad and gazed at her with puppy dog eyes.
Wanda gasped. "Kal-El, Kent, I could never hate you!! I love you. I will always love you, no matter what!!!!! This doesn't change anything."
He looked hopeful. "Really?"
She nodded. "Really. I love you, Kent Stu."
Kent grinned. "And I love you, Wanda Sue." From his pocket he took a ring. It was made of pure gold and had a huge sparkling diamond the size of Metropolis. "Will you marry me?
Wanda's jaw dropped. "Yes, Kal…Kent! I will!! I do!!!"
They kissed and lived happily ever after.
***
Clark rolled his eyes. It was the sappiest thing he'd ever read. Wait a minute…what was that? His eyes went back up to the part where Wanda had said that Kent Stu was a reporter. Clark could've sworn he'd used an accountant in his story before. Had Lois figured out his secret?
At the bottom of the e-mail was this line: P.S. Gotcha!
Uh oh. She had figured it out. He deleted the e-mail, then sat and tried to think of what to say to Lois. She was approaching him, and she looked immensely pleased with herself. He had to think of something fast.
"Um," he said. That was brilliant, Kent, he thought.
"You have a lot of explaining to do, buster," she said.
THE END
Author's note: Thanks to all who read my badfic trilogy and were able to get through Lois's terrible writing. This will be the last story in this mini-series.