By lucyolsen <firstname.lastname@example.org>
Submitted: January 2004
Summary: Superman's keeping two secrets from the world, but only one from Lois Lane. Could one secret betray the other to her?
Notes: I first got this idea the very first time I watched "The Eyes Have It," but never did anything with it because I couldn't seem to take it anywhere. I finally figured that it's kinda funny as it is, and maybe it will inspire somebody else.
"So, what exactly did Dr. Leit say, again, Superman?" Lois Lane was on to something; she just couldn't quite tell what it was.
"He said that the corneas of my eyes have become opaque." Lois Lane was on to something; he just couldn't quite tell what it was.
"Well," Lois said, realizing what was bugging her. "You have X-ray vision, right? Couldn't you just try to X-ray through the opaque part of your eyes?"
Either Lois was a genius or Clark was a complete idiot, though Clark silently conceded that both could be possible, as well. He was astounded that he hadn't come up with such a simple solution before Lois had. He *was* the one who was more familiar with Superman's capabilities, right?
"Just one moment, Lois. Let me try that out."
A few seconds passed as Lois watched Superman attempt to focus his vision.
"Well? Is it working?" she asked impatiently. Lois Lane, in case you need a reminder, is not a patient person.
"Yes!" Superman suddenly exclaimed. He flew off the couch and almost put himself through the ceiling of her apartment. "I can see!" Clark exclaimed.
Realizing that he was making a fool of himself in front of Lois, he came back down to earth, but not literally, because he really only came back down to the floor of her fifth-story apartment.
"So, I take it that it works?" Lois asked again.
"You could say that, but everything is a bit out of focus." He might not be able to read easily, but at least he would no longer be in any danger of accidentally walking through walls.
"Out of focus? Maybe that's because it's as if pieces of your corneas are suddenly gone. Since you are X-raying through them, it's like pieces of them are no longer there. That's what causes bad vision in normal cases, right? Misshapen corneas?" And to even further prove that Lois Lane was a genius, she got an idea. "Hold on a sec, I have an idea."
Clark turned off his x-ray vision as Lois got up off the couch and left the room. As long as Lois wasn't in the room, then there was nothing to look at anyway, and X- raying took too much concentration to do it continuously.
Clark heard her rummaging around in her bedroom, and wondered what she was up to. He would never use his powers to take a peek, though. For one thing, he was far too ethical for that, but more importantly, he probably wouldn't be able to tell what she was doing with how blurry everything would be.
Lois came back into the room and sat down on the couch. "Now, Superman, this probably won't work, but it couldn't hurt to try. I know your body doesn't work exactly like a human's, but since this is a problem that many humans have, there might be a simple solution, albeit a temporary one. I mean, you can't go flying around Metropolis like that, so we probably need to find a permanent solution later. Anyway, my point is, that with your vision out of focus like a normal human's might be, you probably should try the normal human solution. I have a pair of reading glasses my mother forgot here once."
And before he, Superman, even with his super speed, could react, Lois Lane had settled a pair of glasses upon Superman's face.