Clark's Pet Peeve

By Paul-Gabriel Wiener <>

Rated: PG

Submitted: Sept 2004

Summary: Coming home from a date with Lois, Clark is surprised to find another woman waiting for him. A "Guess the Author" challenge story.

This story was written for Lynn's "Guess the Author" challenge on the boards (;f=3;t=000288) . The idea was that everyone would write a story in which either Lois or Clark got a pet. The stories would be posted anonymously through Lynn, and then we'd see if anyone could guess who wrote what. Everyone ended up guessing wildly, and I don't think anyone got even half their guesses correct. Still, it was really fun, and we got some pretty good stories out of it. There were even stories from a couple of great writers who had drifted away from writing L&C.

I wasn't quite sure what to do with the concept, but ended up dashing off two quickies. This is one of them.


Clark Kent couldn't keep the grin off his face as he made his way back to his apartment. It had been a perfect evening. Well, as perfect as it could be for a guy who moonlights in tights. He and his partner had been dating for almost a month, but somehow, every evening still felt as new, fresh, and exciting as the first. Tonight, they'd gone out for dinner at a cozy little restaurant on the bay.

Afterwards, they'd gone out on a cruise around the harbor. The view of the city from the water had been nothing short of beautiful, but even more breathtaking had been the sight of Lois's enraptured face lit by the soft glow of the distant lights. The two of them had stood together by the rail, enjoying the moment. There were no words for it, but they hadn't needed any. Silently, they'd leaned against each other, and the gentle embrace of an arm, the slow tilt of a head, the subtle movement of a pair of eyes, and the soft touch of a pair of lips had said everything that needed to be said.

The boat had continued its slow journey, letting the city fade into the distance. Away from the lights but still in the calm sheltered waters of the bay, they'd found a new magic. Together, still without the need for words, they'd moved away from the railing. There, caressed by an ocean breeze, they'd danced under the stars.

A heavenly eternity later, they'd returned to land. It had been late, but not so late as to rule out a moonlit stroll through the park. They'd only just arrived, however, when he'd heard the voices of desperate firemen across town. Reluctantly, he'd slipped away. He'd taken care of the situation as quickly as superhumanly possible, ignoring a nagging sense of familiarity with the building. When the fire was out and all the people were safely outside, he'd sped away, and, pretending to have been lost in the dark, returned to Lois. She'd laughed endearingly at him, and if she'd noticed an oddly smokey aroma still clinging to him, she hadn't seen fit to say anything about it. They'd strolled through the park, and then, reluctantly giving in to reality, he'd walked her home in time to get at least some semblance of a night's sleep.

Heading back to his apartment, his lips still tingling from a not particularly innocent good night kiss, he'd found it difficult to keep his feet on the ground. After a block or so, he'd given it up as a lost cause. He'd taken to the air, expressing his joy in a series of rolls and loops that would have left anyone else dazed at best. Then he'd drifted above the clouds, happier than he'd ever been in his life. Finally, when he'd settled enough that he felt he could appear reasonably sane to a casual observer, he'd come back down to earth. He'd landed in an alley behind his apartment, then, still grinning, had walked up to his door.

Inside, he was very surprised to discover Channel 4 News's newest anchorwoman sprawled artfully on his couch.

"Hi, handsome," her husky voice greeted him. "You're up late."

"What are you doing here?" he blurted.

She laughed. "Is that any way to greet an old friend?"

Words failed him.

She stretched lazily, not bothering to hide the fact that the move was calculated to show off her best features. "There was a fire," she explained. "I was out when it happened, but my apartment is gone. You know this city. It could be weeks before I find a new place." She looked at him imploringly as she sat up. "I didn't know where to go. For a night, maybe two, sure, but for weeks? Then I thought of you. When I mentioned your name to that new intern you foisted off on me, he was very sure that you, warm-hearted man that you are, would have no problem taking in a stray. He even gave me a ride over and let me in."

Clark sighed to himself. He'd have to have a little word with Jack about not breaking into people's homes. Again.

She stood with a carefully practiced sensuous grace. "So, for at least the next few weeks, it looks like I'll be staying here." As she continued, she emphasized each word with a slow, deliberate huntress's step forward. "And you, you generous, handsome, wonderful, lucky man…" She paused to take a deep, dramatic breath. She was inches away from him. She reached out with one hand, continuing her stalking game by walking her fingers up his chest. "… will have your very own…" Her fingers were up to his face. With her last words, they went up his chin and then tapped him playfully on the nose. "… pet… Cat."