A MisLaned Family

By Erica Dias

Rated: PG

Submitted: August 2004.

Summary: A vignette about Lucy, Lois, Ellen and Sam Lane. Now that they are all gathered, could the world survive ever after?

Author's notes: We have seen Ellen, Sam and Lois Lane in a few situations together and, no matter what, they've always seemed to go in just one direction that lead to… discussions, fights, and embarrassing moments. Now, when Lucy comes to pay her sister a visit, and the family is all gathered… could the world survive ever after?

Special thanks to my BRs SQD and Roo and my GE Karen for helping this stupid Braz girl turn her booky English into normal English.

Disclaimers: I don't own any of the characters on this story. They are DC Comics property. I own the piercing Lucy is wearing though. She hasn't given it back to me, but that's all right. I will contact DC to know where she has been.


At the Kent's residence, something was going on in the bedroom.

"Oh, Clark… finally one peaceful night at home. No newspaper for the weekend, no bad guys to investigate, no sign of criminals acting in Metropolis these days, no fugitive cat or earthquakes for Superman to go running for… oh… it feels good to relax… we should do that more often," Lois said, grinning and cuddling with her husband in bed.

"We should, honey. But actually… I feel weird. Metropolis is not this quiet this time of the year. It has been so… so… silent lately. This silence is a little bit annoying."

"Honey, Metropolis is never a quiet place at all." They both laughed.

"But yeah… I think you're right. I've never seen this town like this before. Maybe we should take a vacation; with nothing happening in town, we could just visit your folks in Kansas or spend sometime traveling around. What do you think?"

"I think we should think about this later," he said, turning to his wife and kissing her passionately.

"You know what? I think you're totally right," she said, beginning to respond to his touch.

A knock on the front door interrupted the action that was going on upstairs. At first, it wasn't really something to disturb their concentration, but the knocks were repeating themselves. Clark came out from the blankets and grabbed his robe.

"Clark, where are you going?" Lois asked, trying to find her head a way out of the blanket.

"I'm going to find out who's knocking downstairs."

"There's no one knocking. It's just your imagination, honey. Come back to bed," she said, pleading.

"I'll be right back, honey," he said, already on his way down the steps.

Lois got her pillow and put it on top of her face to muffle her shouts.

The person was still knocking when Clark reached the door. Clark looked at his watch and couldn't understand who would be knocking on someone's door at one in the morning. When he opened it, there was a girl he hardly recognized. She was wearing a piercing on her left eyebrow and had a strange dark smudged make up on her face. She was dressed in punk clothes and had two suitcases in her hands. She didn't wait outside, and, without introducing herself, she entered the living room.

"Hi, Clark. Where's Lois?"

Clark couldn't believe what he was seeing. In front of him was Lois' little sister, Lucy. She had this horrible gothic look. Clark was still stunned when she repeated herself.

"Clark, are you feeling alright? Where's my sister?"

"I'm right here…Who is it? Lucy!!! What are you doing here? And why are you dressed liked this?" Lois asked, coming down the stairs in a hurry as soon as she realized it was her sister on the door.

"I came to spend some time with you. I'm sorry I didn't call you before, but I didn't have the chance to do so. It was all on impulse. You know how impulsive I can be when something new comes to my mind. Oh, and I'm so sorry I couldn't come for your wedding. Both weddings actually.. or were there 3? Or 4 counting the one with Lex… Well, I was never able to come to any of your weddings anyway. I'm sorry for that. The one you first had or… didn't have with Clark, I wanted to come, but as you know, I had a fight with a policeman and I wasn't able to attend it. Sorry for that. Mom sent me some pictures. They were really nice, but they weren't yours right? The cloning thing? That was awful! Anyway, now I came to spend some time around.. can I stay with you guys?"

Lois and Clark looked at each other, and Lois secretly admitted that babbling was in the family's genes.

"Of course you can stay, Lucy. Stay as long as you want, " Clark said, getting the cases she was still holding on her hands.

"Thanks, Clark. Though I don't wish to stay for more than a couple of weeks."

*She said a couple of weeks???* "Lucy, what brought you again to Metropolis?" Lois showed her sister the way to the sofa.

"You know I just graduated and I thought that maybe I could get a job here in town. California is cool, but they don't have good job opportunities there. At least, not on my field."

"I see, but I don't understand how movie making would be easier here."

"I'm not in movie making anymore, Lois. I'm into photography."


"Yeah, that's why I came here. Maybe you could check for a job at the Planet for me. What do you think?"

"Well, I'm sure I can talk to Perry about that."

Clark came down the stairs and joined the conversation sitting beside his wife.

"I'm sure we can help you find something around. Meanwhile, be our guest here."

"Thanks, Clark. Itīs just something temporary. I called Mom and told her I'd stay here at your place for a couple of weeks and she told me that I could stay with them, but you know what I think about it. Thereīs no way I'd live with them again. It would be like volunteering to war."

The three of them laughed at her comment. It had been long that Clark learned that Lois' family was pure nitro. Handling them with care was never too much.

"Let me show your room, Lucy."

"Thanks, Clark. See you in the morning, sis. Good night."

"Good night, Lucy."

Lois went to the kitchen and fixed herself some apple tea. She was coming into the living room when her husband reached her. She looked at him and he already knew what she was going to say. He had no doubt about it and they said in chorus: "A couple of weeks."

Clark gave his wife a sympathetic hug and both went upstairs to sleep.


Lois and Clark had the weekend off and Lucy was able to tell them everything that had happened to her in the last three years she was away. She said that after the episode with her Robothief boyfriend, she wasn't able to go out with many other guys. She concentrated on college and graduated in only three years. She was glad to come back to Metropolis though it could mean that she would have to see her parents more often. It's not that she didn't like them, but whenever they were all together things would turn out to be really bad.

The conversation was warm and flowing well. Lois and Clark told Lucy how the wedding was and how they were living in their new house. Lucy asked them if they were thinking about having babies, but as the answer didn't come out, she assumed it was something not to be mentioned for some time. That little innocent question brought some embarrassment to the conversation when a savior knocking on the door made the topic fade out.

Clark went to open the door and when he did, he was almost pushed inside the house by a very unique and hyper couple. Ellen and Sam Lane. They didn't even give Clark enough time to say good morning, they said "hi" and broke through the living room where Lois and Lucy were sitting together.

"Sam… I told you she would be here. Hi, girls. It's wonderful to see you two together. Lucy, what horrible clothes are these? Sam, I told you should send Lucy some money. Look at what she's wearing. I can't believe you didn't send her the money."

"Hello, my princesses." Sam pinched his two daughters' cheeks in a painful and childish way. "I wanted to send her the money, Ellen, but she refused it. How are you, sweetie?" Sam asked, addressing Lucy.

"I'm fine, dad. How are y.."

"You refused it? Lucy, your father and I are here to help. If I knew you were in such a bad condition, you know I'd go to California to help you out. Why didn't you phone me and told me you were in trouble."

"Because I wasn't in trouble, Mom. I'm fine. I came to Metr…"

"How can you tell me you're fine wearing this hand-me-down clothes? And what's this metal thingy here?"

"It's a piercing."

"A piercing? You see what you have done with your children, Sam? How could day be normal with the kind of raising up you gave them."

"You're saying itīs only my problem?"

"Yes, you were the one who was never at home. You neglected your daughters' education. I couldn't be a father and a mother to them at the same time. And now Lucy has this metal thingy on her head, she is dressed like a punk gipsy and Lois is frustrated with the idea of having children. Of course she wouldn't want it. Can you imagine having a family like ours?"

"Mom, wait a second… I'm not frustrated with the idea of having children. Clark and I want to… it's only that it's not the right time yet. Now Lucy is here to stay for a while, Mom. She will be fine here."

"I'm fine here!!!"

"Lois, don't listen to your mother. You know how she can over react sometimes. I think her medication has to be raised."

"I started taking them because of you, by the way."

Clark was stunned and frozen still. He not only couldn't complete his "good morning" sentence but also he could never realize how serious the problem between the four people in front of him was. He managed to say something but it seemed not to fit their conversation.

"Is…is anybody hungry? I think I'm going to prepare breakfast for us all."

Nobody answered him. He felt he was watching the beginning of the Third World War and even a missile cushion was thrown at Sam by Ellen. The situation was almost unbearable. The four of them were fighting each other exchanging accusations and offenses. It was like Clark was in Pandemonium itself.

"Stooooooooooooooooooooooooop !!! All of you!!!"

A sudden shout put order in the conversation. The four of them looked at each other and then looked at the screamer. Clark was drained. He cupped his ears with both hands and tried not to listen to anything they were saying after that. He went to the kitchen and didnīt return.

"You see what you have done, Sam?"

"You were the one who started it, Ellen."


"Yeah, you were the one telling Lucy she looks horrible in those clothes."

"I didn't start it. You started it 17 years ago."

"Now, you wait a second…"

"Enoughhhhhhh.. that's it… I'm outta here." Lucy said, going upstairs and coming downstairs with her suitcases on her hands. "Lois, I'm really sorry for the inconvenience. Forget the job at the Planet. I'm flying back to California!"

"What? Lucy… no… come back."

"You see what you have done, Ellen. Why can't you talk to the girls without criticizing them?"

"Tell me about critics… you criticized Lois on everything… Even her (A-)s weren't enough for you."

"That's so not true."

"That's very true, Dad."

"Honey, it was for your sake. I've always wanted you to become a successful person. I've succeeded."

"Don't tell me you think she is what she is because of you."

"In a way… yes."

"Ha!!! Can you believe this? That's it… I'm calling my shrink now to raise my meds." Ellen said, dialing a number on her mobile.

"Mom, please… just calm down… everything will be fine."

"You think he's right? You won't even say anything about it? Ha!!! You're on his side too."

"Mom, I'm in no one's side."

"Don't overreact, Ellen."

"Mom, you're being oversensitive here."

"Oversensitive? Oversensitive? Ha!!!" Ellen grabbed her purse and left.

"Ellen, Ellen, honey, come back here." Sam left and slammed the door behind him.




"Lois?" Clark said, sneaking his head through the kitchen door.


"Lois?" Clark said, entering the living room.


"Clark?" Lois said, sitting on the sofa.


"Honey…" Clark said, sitting next to her.


"Baby, you still think silence is annoying?" Lois said, locking her eyes to his.


They hugged.