Fan Mail

By Wanda Detroit <>

Rating: PG

Submitted October 2004

Summary: In this 30-minute challenge response, Clark Kent is kind enough to receive Superman's fan mail, because our favorite hero has no mailing address. Will he accidentally expose his partner's dirty laundry?

This is a response to the 30-minute challenge on the Lois and Clark Fanfic mbs. (! It's inspired by a chat I had with Emily H. Hopefully you'll get a laugh out of it!


The parcel arrived at Clark's desk on a Friday morning. Handwritten neatly in familiar cursive, the mailing address read:

Superman Metropolis, New Troy 07315

As always, Superman's fan mail bore a forwarding address label, care of his best friend, Clark Kent. It arrived in a bundle, sometimes several bundles, and was delivered to Clark's desk at the Daily Planet. He hid the bundles discreetly in his desk drawer as soon as they arrived. Even Lois didn't know he received Superman's personal mail. He would take them home at the end of the day to read them privately, so as not to risk anyone seeing Clark opening Superman's mail.

He always smiled when he opened up envelopes containing children's crayon drawings of him, or touching thank-you notes from those he had rescued. He received mail from all over the world. When he was able, he dashed off replies to as many letters as he could. (It certainly didn't take him very long.)

Today, though, he was especially eager to see what was inside the parcel in his hands. It was postmarked from Metropolis, and the handwriting was none other than that of Lois Lane.

He knew it, even though she hadn't included a return address. He'd memorized that handwriting. He could tell by the slant of her cursive whether she was rushed, or she had taken her time. And on this envelope, she had certainly taken her time.

Now what in the world would she be sending Superman?

He tried to think if he had rescued her lately. Maybe it was a thank-you note… Maybe it was a love letter…

Just then he saw Lois enter the newsroom, and he tossed the thick envelope into his desk drawer hurriedly. She was headed toward him, her pace determined. Clark looked up quickly, trying his hardest not to appear like he was hiding something.

Lois immediately tossed him a manila folder and asked—no, told— him to help her cross-reference the files against a computer database. Clark nodded and began to scan the folder's contents.

Peering out from behind the folder, he watched as Lois sat down at her desk and immediately become engrossed in her work. As if by instinct, Clark's gaze gravitated to his closed desk drawer containing that most tantalizing piece of Superman's fan mail.

Maybe just this once…

He looked up at Lois again; she was staring at her screen, completely absorbed in her work. She wouldn't see him open it… would she?

He could open and read it so fast that she'd never even get the chance to see it, even if she looked up. He was faster than a speeding bullet, after all.

Finally his curiosity won over, and he reached into the drawer and withdrew the envelope. Carefully and as discreetly as he could, he tore it open. His fingers touched satin…

He withdrew the garment.


Black, satin panties, trimmed with lace.

Oh, God.

He was holding Lois Lane's panties in his hands!

He stared at them, slack-jawed. They were sexy and so very small. How did she fit into them anyhow? That thought brought a flush to his face and more than a few visuals to his mind.

A slip of paper had fallen out of the envelope as well. Her phone number! What was she thinking…?

Before he could react, a shadow passed over his desk. He looked up, the panties still in his hands, and a look of shock and embarrassment on his face.

"Clark Kent," Lois demanded, red-faced, "how did you get my—?!" Her look of fury dissolved into an expression of realization, then disbelief. "Oh, God—!"