By Mary Potts, AKA Queen of the Capes <firstname.lastname@example.org>
Submitted November 2004
Summary: Jimmy makes an unexpected visit to Hyperion Avenue. What will he discover?
I have no idea what possessed me to write this. I may have to convert to Catholicism so I can go to confessional after this.
I started this a long, long time ago, in a galaxy far, far—uh, it's been on my hard drive for a while. Then one night I was rooting through my files, digging up old WIPs and I came across this one. In a fit of what I can only describe as insanity, I decided to finish it. Please be kind, it has not been beta'd and the beginning is still in tact from when it was first written in the Jurassic era. Or April, whichever is more likely.
Jimmy fumbled around in his pocket for the key Lois had given him and inserted it into the lock. She had said that if he found anything on the Fleischer scam, anything at all, to come right over, no matter what. Well, for a long time they hadn't found anything; Fleischer was just too neat. But now, he was pretty sure he'd hit the jackpot, and he couldn't wait to tell Lois and CK!
He opened the door and stepped into the living room, but before he could announce his presence, he saw Superman descending the stairs.
Wearing nothing but a towel and a smile.
<Great Shades of Elvis!> Jimmy thought, having probably spent too much time around his boss. As Superman got closer, he ducked down behind the sofa. <I don't believe this!>
It simply didn't make sense! Lois and CK had always seemed to be so much in love. They were devoted to each other!
While Jimmy's brain was reeling, trying to process this onslaught of unlikely information, Superman casually strode into the kitchen and rummaged around in the fridge. A few seconds later, he returned with a sandwich on a plate, along with a large glass of milk. He took two steps into the living room and then paused, his head cocking upwards as though listening to something.
A smile spread across the Superhero's face. "Sure thing, dear!" he called upstairs. Then, in a blur, he downed the milk, disappeared into the kitchen, came back with *two* sandwiches and a couple glasses of wine, and sped up the stairs.
Jimmy felt faint. After a few moments, he crawled back to the door and slipped outside. He leaned against the wall of the brownstone and tried to collect his thoughts. How could this be happening? All of a sudden, his world was turning upside-down! How was he supposed to act around Lois and Clark after this? What should he say?
He gulped. Maybe things weren't what they looked like. Yeah, that could be it. After all, the photograph the tabloids printed in their smear campaign proved to be fake. Maybe there was another explanation for this, too! Maybe.
Steeling himself, Jimmy raised his fist and knocked on the door. When Lois answered, he would ask her about what he'd just seen.
There was no answer. Jimmy knocked again, louder this time.
The door creaked open. Clark Kent stood in the doorway, clad in jeans and a crumpled shirt. His shirt was unbuttoned and hung open, exposing his bare chest. His feet were bare and he had no belt. He pushed his glasses further up against his nose. "Hey, Jimmy. What do you want?"
Jimmy blinked. "CK?"
Jimmy continued to stare, taking in his friend's disheveled, hastily-dressed appearance. "I—um—uh, that is…"
"What?" Clark was starting to become annoyed.
"Nothing." Suddenly unable to remember why he was there, and unsure of what to say to his friend, Jimmy made an excuse and left. To say that he was shocked would be a vast understatement! And yet, looking back, it all made sense. Well, one thing was for sure—Jimmy was never shaking hands with Clark or Superman again.
Insert evil cackling here.