What Do You Mean, "New Krypton"?? A Plot Un-Twist

By Paul-Gabriel Wiener <pgwfolc@netscape.net>

Rated: G

Submitted: May, 2003

Summary: Clark asks the right questions in this response to Hazel's Plot Un-twist Challenge.

Author's note: This is a response to the "plot un-twist" challenge posted on Zoomway's message boards by Hazel. The idea is relatively simple: pick a moment from the show, preferably the teaser for one of the episodes, and change things so that the A-plot unravels in a hopefully humorous way.


"Clark, my name is Zara. This is Lieutenant Ching. On the day Krypton exploded, your father launched you into space. We had already been taken from the planet… part of an expedition in search of a more stable place to live."

"How many of you were there?"

"A thousand or more, left homeless when the planet was destroyed."

"The expedition colonized a barren rock of a planetoid, which was named 'New Krypton.'"

"Wait a second. Jor-El sent me in his prototype ship, with an experimental interstellar drive. He had to use it because everyone else refused to believe him when he said the planet was going to explode. If a thousand people had believed him, there was no reason for him not to have gone along with them. Furthermore, since the drive was experimental, these supposed colonists would have had no way to move out of Krypton's system. Even if they did have some way of moving out of the system in time, whyever would they have colonized a barren planetoid in a red sun system? Surely there were better planets to have chosen. Jor-El knew about Earth and yellow suns and super powers. Then there's the fact that his message specifically told me I was the last of my kind. All that aside, if I'm as important as you say, there is absolutely no reason for you to have waited over twenty years to track me down. Put simply, your existence makes absolutely no sense whatsoever."

"You know, Ching, he's right."

"Darn. I wanted to see more of Lois."

"Hey! I thought you loved me?!"

"Zara, we're Kryptonians. We don't —"

Still bickering, Zara, Ching, and the rest of the "New Kryptonians" faded away in a puff of continuity.

Lois and Clark got married and lived happily ever after.