Top Copy Hits Rock Bottom: A Plot Un-Twist

By Paul-Gabriel Wiener <>

Rated: G

Submitted: May, 2003

Summary: Clark rethinks his priorities in this response to Hazel's plot un-twist challenge.

Author's note: This is a response to the "plot un-twist" challenge posted on Zoomway's message boards by Hazel. The idea is relatively simple: pick a moment from the show, preferably the teaser for one of the episodes, and change things so that the A-plot unravels in a hopefully humorous way.


"The fax from Iberia should be here in a few minutes and then we can finally get out of here," Clark said, putting the phone down. He turned back to his computer and the chess game he was playing with Lois. "Okay… Queen to King One. Your move."

"I know," she said softly, thoughtfully. "It's been my move for a while."

"What do you mean," he asked, confused. "I just —"

"I mean the date thing."


Lois took a deep breath. "So. About the date thing…"


"I know I've been kind of avoiding the subject lately…"


" … but I've finally decided I think we should —"

Suddenly, Clark's superhearing kicked in. "… fire at the Metropolitan Building, penthouse… can't get a helicopter up there, winds are too strong…" It sounded serious. It sounded like a job for Superman.

Then, what Lois had been saying played back in his head. "I think we should go ahead and do it," she'd said. "I mean, I know there's a lot to lose, but we're both adults, right? And it's just a date, right?"

He tried to process that while still taking in the situation with the fire. The sprinklers should be coming on, shouldn't they? Then, more cries for help started pouring in. A mugging across town. A robbery over on the east side. An accident on the highway… He couldn't possibly take care of everything. What was more important?


The voice snapped his hearing back to the immediate surroundings. Obviously, Lois had noticed his inattentiveness. She'd been pouring her heart out to him… Her doubts, her fears, and her willingness to put them aside and give him a chance. The question came back to him. What was more important? It wasn't really a difficult decision. "Sorry, Lois," he said. "I thought I heard something outside. Never mind. It's not important. You are. And you're wrong."


"We are both adults, but I could never consider going out with you to be 'just a date.' You mean more to me than that. And there's nothing to lose."

"What about our friendship, Clark?"

"It means a lot to me, Lois. Too much to worry that a date could ruin it. I can't imagine a bad date with you, Lois, but it's even harder to imagine not being your friend."

"But, what if —"

"Lois, I promise you. No matter what happens, you will never lose my friendship."

"But —"

"I promise." Seeing that she was about to object again, he added, "Scout's honor!" That broke the ice, but he could see she still had her doubts. "Pinky swear?" That did it. She burst out laughing, then offered her pinky. Still chuckling, they linked fingers and swore an unbreakable oath of friendship.

As Lois and Clark began making arrangements for their date, someone across town was having a hot time of her own…

"See the big red 'S' yet?" Diana Stride asked.

"No," replied her assistant, Rolf. "There's too much smoke."

"Well, we're just going to have to trust, then."

"You have your charm?"

She reached into her blouse and pulled out her silver moon good luck charm. "I always have my charm," she replied confidently. Then, she stepped up onto the ledge. Turning back to Rolf, she asked, "You'll be all right up here?"

"As long as your plan works… and I know it will."

"Okay," she said, taking a deep breath. "Show time." She extended her arms dramatically, and then Diana took a stride off the building. It was a small step that turned very quickly into a giant leap. A giant leap for which the fire crew below was completely unprepared. With Superman tied up with important matters elsewhere, Intergang's top assassin could do nothing but fall, and fall, and then…