Tooth and Justice

By Mary Potts <>

Rated: G

Submitted: September 2003

Summary: In this humorous vignette, Lois ponders the mystery presented by her new dentist, Dr. K. Could he possibly be using his profession as a cover for another, more exciting career?

Author's Notes: Some wise-guy on the message boards issued a challenge to give Clark Kent an unlikely job, so this is my response:


Lois always hated these appointments. She especially hated them since her usual dentist had retired, and she had had to find a new one. To make matters worse, this new guy was always taking off right in the middle of the appointment, and his excuses were always lame.

Sometimes Lois liked to fantasize about his real reasons for taking off so often. She kept a list at home in her desk drawer:

1. Dr. K is deathly afraid of teeth.

2. Dr. K has a secret lover and is constantly rushing off for a rendezvous.

3. Dr. K has a split personality.

4. Dr. K is a spy.

5. Dr. K is really Superman and must constantly take off to attend emergencies.

The fifth was the most interesting, she thought. She often smiled at the mental image of her dentist flying through the air, putting out fires, rescuing earthquake victims, and then rushing back to fix people's teeth. She giggled to herself, wondering if he would sometimes use his x-ray vision to check for cavities.

"That's absurd!" she told herself. "Besides, why would Superman want to disguise himself as a mild- mannered dentist?"

She entered the waiting room and signed in. The thought still plagued her mind as she sat leafing through a magazine. Was her dentist really Superman?

'It would certainly explain all those disappearances,' she mused, 'and I suppose even a superhero has to eat; it's not like saving the world pays much.'

She picked up another magazine and leafed through it, not paying attention to the words on the pages. Her train of thought was much too interesting. 'Come to think of it, Superman and Dr. K are about the same height and build, and they both have the same color hair and eyes! Could it be?'

At last her name was called, and Lois went into Dr. K's office. All throughout the checkup, she studied him and pondered over her new theory. She raised an eyebrow when he left to go get some more cotton, a task which, for some reason, took twenty minutes. When the checkup was over, she looked him in the eye.

"Tell me, Dr. K," she said, "do you think Superman would disguise himself as a dentist?"

Dr. K's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "I don't know," he replied. "Why do you ask?"

Lois regarded him carefully. "Just a theory I've been working on," she answered.

She left the building and hailed a cab. She climbed into the back, gave the cabby her address, and continued to muse while the cabby took her home.

The cabby was a surprisingly good driver. He was also quite friendly and asked her what she was so deep in thought about.

"Do you think Superman would disguise himself as a dentist?" she asked.

The cabby's eyebrows went up, then he chuckled. "I guess anything's possible," he said.

After a while, he stopped the cab. "Your destination, Miss."

Lois thanked him and paid him his fare, then went up to her apartment.

The cabby watched her enter the building before driving off. 'Strange people out here,' he thought to himself. Just then, his super hearing picked up a cry for help. He hastily parked the cab in an alley, got out, then spun into the suit and took off.