By Estrellita <estrellita5499@hotmail.com>
Rated: PG
Submitted: November 2003
Summary: A sad story in which Lois bids a final farewell to Clark before he goes to New Krypton, not knowing if they will ever see each other again. WARNING: deathfic.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: My inspiration for this dark fanfic came from another of my favorite TV shows. The song comes from the movie "Caspar", starring Christina Ricci and Bill Pullman. Cat and Caspar dance to it at the end of the movie. WARNING: This story contains a serious WHAM. It's very sad, very unusual for me. Be sure to get some tissue and be prepared. Any fdk is welcome and appreciated, the good, the bad and the ugly. Enjoy!
WARNING: this is a deathfic
***
Lois chanced a look at the clock. It was 11:30pm, but she was nowhere near sleepy, and neither, in fact, was Clark. She looked over at her long-time partner. He appeared to have the weight of the world resting on his shoulders and there was a deep sadness in his eyes. Clark had come over hours ago and they had been just holding each other and talking, trying to stay awake so they could spend as much time together as they could before he had to leave tomorrow. She couldn't believe that in the morning the love of her life would be going away and she had no idea how long he'd be gone, much less if they'd ever see each other again.
Suddenly she noticed an all-too-familiar look in her fiance's eyes, the look that meant he was hearing something, which was never a good sign. When he made a move to get up, Lois panicked.
"Clark, what is it?" she asked, praying that he had not heard a cry for help, at least not one that would take him long to take care of.
"I heard something on the neighbors' radio," he replied, and in a flash Lois's radio was on, tuned to the same station.
"Delilah: Love someone tonight." The theme from the radio show Delilah played.
"Hi, you are listening to Delilah. I hope you are all having a blessed night. I have an email here from Karen of San Diego, CA, and Karen writes, 'Dear Delilah, I met my husband Tom when we were in high school. We became the best of friends, and our relationship is built on that friendship. He is now in the military, and he's been called into active service. He leaves tomorrow, and I was hoping you could play something special for us for our last night here.' Karen, I'll be happy to play your dedication, and as always my prayers will be with you and your family in this difficult time.
"Lois," Clark asked, extending his hand to her, "may I have this dance?"
Lois couldn't speak for the lump in her throat, so she nodded and got slowly to her feet. Clark held her in his arms as the music started, and they began to dance.
*Every now and then
We find a special friend
Who never lets us down
Who understands it all
Reaches out each time we fall
You're the best friend that I've found*
*Now I know you can't stay,
But part of you will never ever go away
Your heart will stay*
*And I'll make a wish for you,
And hope it will come true
That life will just be kind
To such a gentle mind
And if you lose your way
Think back on yesterday
Remember me this way
Ooh, remember me this way*
*I don't need eyes to see
The love you bring to me
No matter where I go
And I know that you'll be there
Forevermore a part of me in every way I'll always care*
*And I'll make a wish for you,
And hope it will come true
That life will just be kind
To such a gentle mind
And if you lose your way
Think back on yesterday
Remember me this way
Ooh, remember me this way*
*And I'll be right behind your shoulder watching you
I'll be standing by your side in all you do
And I will never leave
As long as you believe, you just believe*
*And I'll make a wish for you,
And hope it will come true
That life will just be kind
To such a gentle mind
And if you lose your way
Think back on yesterday
Remember me this way
Ooh, remember me this way*
As the song faded out, Clark pulled back and touched her face gently, wiping away the silent tears. He kissed her softly, gently, and their kiss slowly became a night that would live in their hearts forever.
The next thing Lois knew, she was watching the New Kryptonian space ship carrying her love away from her for God only knew how long, and she couldn't take it, not again.
"No! No, please! You can't take him! No! Clark, come back! You have to come back! I need you! Clark," she screamed, and she bolted upright in her bed.
Surrounded by the darkness, she came to her senses. "Oh, God! It was only a dream. It felt so…real. God, I'd give anything just to see him, to hold him one more time," she whispered softly, and curled back up on her bed. All of a sudden, she felt something touch her shoulder. She started and rolled over. Her eyes opened wide in shock, and she sat up quickly. "Clark," she whispered. He nodded.
He was sitting beside her on the bed, yet he looked so different, so peaceful, and he seemed to be surrounded by light.
"Clark, what's going on? Am I still dreaming, because if I am, please, I don't ever want to wake up…"
"No, Lois, you're not dreaming. I'm here," he replied..
"Oh my God, Clark, you're finally back! Oh, I missed you so much! You look…different…" Her voice trailed off as she took in the differences in his appearance.
"Well, not exactly…" He started to respond.
"Of course you are! I mean, you're here! I can see you, hear you…you told me I'm not dreaming…"
"Lois, I came back because I saw how upset you are and I just couldn't stand it. You had no way of knowing…" His voice trailed off.
"Knowing what?"
"And I also wanted to be able to say goodbye."
"Goodbye? What…What do you mean, goodbye?" she asked, panicking.
"Lois, I will always be here with you in spirit, in your heart, and…"
"Clark, what's going on? Why can't you come back?" Tears began to stream down her cheeks.
"There's really no easy way to say this. I…I didn't survive that last battle."
"NO!" Lois screamed, and began sobbing uncontrollably.
"Shh, it's okay, Lois, it's okay," Clark said soothingly, wrapping her in his arms. "I'm at peace now, and I'm not in any pain, It's going to get easier, I promise."
"Clark, how could you? You promised me you'd come back to me!"
"I know, and I'm sorry. Things just didn't work out the way I'd planned. But I have a gift for you."
"What? A gift? I don't see anything. And the only thing I want is you!"
A small smile crept on his face, and he said, "Trust me, this is the greatest gift I could ever have given you. You'll understand pretty soon what I'm talking about. Just please keep my secret safe."
Clark glanced up, and then looked at Lois and sighed. "It's time for me to go now." She shook her head and mouthed the word "No!" He touched her face one last time and said, "Lois Lane, I have loved you from the first moment I laid eyes on you, and I will love you for all eternity. Remember that I'm always with you in spirit, and I'll be watching over you until the day when we can be together again."
Lois found her voice. "Clark, no! Please, don't leave me! CLARK!"
She watched helplessly as he floated upward and disappeared, leaving her room empty and dark.
In the days that followed, she somehow found the strength to tell Jonathan and Martha what had happened. They of course were devastated, and Lois was there for them, just as they were for her. She learned for the first time through them what it was to have a family. Two memorials were held, one for Clark, and one for Superman, and even though it was extremely hard, they were very careful to keep his secret hidden.
***
TWENTY-FIVE YEARS LATER
Lois turned around and left the kitchen when she heard a familiar WHOOSH coming from the general area of the living room.
"What was it this time?"
"A wreck on the interstate. A church bus ran into an 18- wheeler. I did the best I could, but there were still casualties," Clark replied sadly.
Lois knew all too well the effect not being able to save someone had on Clark. She embraced him and went back to the kitchen to get him something to drink.
As she saw him sitting bent over on the couch, head in his hands, she was again struck by how much he reminded her of his father, and not just in appearance. His personality was very similar to his father's. He was just as sensitive, quiet and even-tempered. His features, too, were his father's, but he had his mother's eyes, perfectionist attitude, and birthday.
She knew she would never forget the day that she learned of his father's death, or the day she finally understood what he meant when he told her he was giving her the greatest gift he could. That day was about a week after his visit, and the gift finally came on her birthday, October 3rd, in the form of a healthy baby boy that she named after his father, Clark Jerome Kent. He had followed in his father's footsteps as Superman and as a journalist. She was so proud of the man he had grown to be, and she also knew that Clark was watching over them from heaven with love and pride.
THE END