Pronounce Away!

By Kathy Brown <>

Rated PG

Submitted April 2003

Summary: Lois and Clark have just entered the church when the deacon indicates Lois needs to come with him to sign the wedding license. An episode "plot un-twist" challenge response for "I Now Pronounce You …"

An Episode Plot Un-Twist for "I Now Pronounce You …

The Challenge? "Take a scene from an episode … and undo some plot twist to change, or even negate, the entire episode … The only rule is that your entry should be short." (from Hazel's challenge)

My Response? "Pronounce Away!"


Clark shook his head in amazement as he and Lois, accompanied by their families, rushed inside the church. They were supposed to be getting married within the hour, but not only wasn't Lois dressed yet, but her sister hadn't been able to make it to Metropolis for the wedding and their minister had stood them up for a gig on a cruise ship! Fortunately, Perry had surprised them all by confessing that he was an ordained minister and he'd offered to marry them. It was finally going to happen!

With a smile, Clark watched as his fiancee turned to follow her mother and cousin Cindy into the ladies' room. He couldn't wait to see Lois in her wedding gown … all his dreams were about to come true.

Before Lois could push the door open, however, the church deacon stopped her with a hand on her arm. "Ms. Lane? I need you to sign the marriage license. It will only take a moment."

Clark grinned at the inquiring look she gave him. "I already signed."

Lois rolled her eyes, but she couldn't keep the smile off her face. "Teacher's pet," she teased. Then she turned back to the deacon. "OK, let's do it."

As the pair walked down the hall, however, Clark frowned. Was it possible that almost being a husband was making him even more protective than he normally was? It was nothing that he could put his finger on, but something about the way the deacon was looking at Lois made him uncomfortable. As they were about to enter another room down the hall, Clark jogged up behind them. At Lois's curious look, he affectionately put his arm over her shoulders. "I've waited a long time for this moment," he said warmly. "Mind if I watch while you sign?"

Lois beamed and wrapped her arm around his waist. "Have I told you lately how much I love you?"

Clark grinned as they walked into the office and approached the desk that held their marriage license. "Yes, but I won't mind if you tell me again."

Shooting him a teasing smile, Lois picked up a nearby pen and signed her name with a flourish. Then she turned back to her fiance and wrapped her arms around his neck. "I think that says it all right there."

Completely unable to stop himself, Clark lowered his head and captured her mouth in a soul-shattering kiss. When they finally separated, Clark found himself breathing more heavily. "Think anyone would miss us if we skipped the ceremony and just did this for the rest of the day?"

Lois giggled even as she pressed several more kisses to his mouth. "We are legally married now, whether we go through with it or not. But I think our families would be disappointed."

Clark grinned. "OK, you win. But believe me, once that ceremony is over, you won't find me quite so … patient."

Lois laughed out loud as she picked up the marriage license in one hand and took Clark's hand with the other, leading him back into the hall where their families were waiting. "Believe me, farmboy, I'm counting on it!"


As the newlyweds happily left the room, neither noticed the wild, tormented look that had entered the church deacon's eyes. How could this have happened?! Lois was legally married and there was nothing he could do about it! All his plans — creating the clones, breaking out of prison, disguising himself as the church deacon, obtaining the mind-altering drugs necessary to subdue Lois while he kidnapped her — were ruined. Curse that Kent for tagging along!

Lex Luthor tore off the mask and wig that had been hiding his real identity as he rushed from the church, his teeth grinding in hatred. They'd never get away with this … they might be married, but he wouldn't let that stop him from taking Lois Lane for himself. His opportunity to get her alone in the church had passed, but there was still the reception. He just needed to get to the banquet hall before they did to put Plan B into effect. Before the day was through, he, Lex Luthor, would get what he deserved!

As he stepped off the curb, however, Lex failed to notice the stolen car that was swerving all over the road, nor did he see the two familiar-looking men bickering as they tried to figure out how to drive it. If he had looked up, he would have realized that the drivers looked exactly like the President of the United States and his Secret Service Agent … and judging by the long line of police cars chasing them — and the small frogs they were snacking on — they must have just recently escaped from custody.

The loud blast of the car horn came too late, and Lex never knew what hit him. But one thing was for certain …

Lex Luthor had finally gotten *exactly* what he deserved.


Comments welcome and appreciated. :) Kathy Brown