Love's Confusion

By Superteen <>

Rated: G

Submitted: September, 2003

Summary: Lois and Clark are enjoying an evening of pizza and movies when Lois decides she wants to tell Clark something she has been holding back. Reactions aren't as expected and neither Lois nor Clark knows what exactly to do.

Author's note: {italic} = thoughts * * = emphasis


Lois sighed as she leaned more into Clark's shoulder as the second movie of the night came to a close. They had decided earlier to meet at Clark's apartment after work for take-out, a movie, and some time with their best friend. Not wanting to go home, Lois had suggested they put another movie in when the first one went off.

Lois turned her head up to look at Clark, who was yawning. "Can I tell you a secret, Clark?"

"Of course, Lois. You can tell me anything, you know that."

Lois hesitated. "Well… I… I think I've really fallen in love for the first time in my life. I can't ever stop thinking about him. It doesn't matter where, when, or what I'm doing, my thoughts just seem to always drift away and I'm daydreaming of him again."

"Oh." Clark squirmed but tried not to be noticeable about it. He definitely hadn't expected that to be her secret. {There goes any chance of her loving me like that…}

"It's just that I've never really felt like this and I don't really know what to do about it. I don't know if I should just tell him how I feel or wait 'til he makes a move first. It's all so confusing."

"Tell me about it," Clark muttered so that Lois wouldn't hear him.

"Huh? What was that?"

"Oh, ummm nothing, it's just… umm well…" He hung his head, scared that she really had heard him. "It's nothing."

Lois gave him a skeptical look but then went on with what she had been saying. "Anyway, I still don't know what to do about these feelings."

"Lois." Clark eyed her cautiously, "if you're in love with this guy then I don't really understand what I have to do with it. Or why you're *here* even. You should be with him tonight instead of being here telling me that you're in love with this guy." Clark had gotten up and started to look around at his apartment so that he wouldn't have to look at the woman he loved with all his heart while she told him she was in love with another man. Finally he said, "He's very lucky to have your love, Lois. I only hope he understands that."

"Well, I haven't told him yet, but that's because I'm not sure how *he* feels."

"Maybe you should talk to him about it…" Clark's voice trailed off at the end.

Lois was really confused by Clark's behavior and attitude. {He's not usually this distant, especially with me… I wonder what's wrong?} "Clark? Is something wrong?" Lois asked, generally concerned for her best friend.

"I'm fine…" he replied, now sitting on the couch with his head in his hands.

"No offence, Clark, but you don't look like you're fine," Lois teased, laughing to try to break the tension building between them. But then her tone was serious, "In fact, you look kinda gloomy. What's wrong, and can I help?"

"No. I'll be fine," he said, smiling brightly for Lois' benefit. "I'm just glad that you've found something that makes you happy. That's all that really matters to me." {God, I want to touch her beautiful face… if only…}

"But I want you to be happy, too. And you don't look too happy right now."

Clark sighed and leaned his head back onto the couch. The room was silent for a while, both thinking about the people they loved and longed to be with.

Lois broke the silence after making, what for her was, a hard decision. "Clark, you know, you said that I need to talk to him and tell him how I feel. I think I really need to do that now." {I just hope that he won't shut me out after this.}

"Ok, Lois." Clark nodded. "I guess you better go now if you want to tell him tonight. I'll see you at the Planet tomorrow." Clark smiled sadly. {I just want her to be happy in the end.}

Lois got up and started pacing around the room, trying to find the right words to tell her best friend that she doesn't want to be *friends* anymore. {I don't really want to lose the friendship but I don't know how this would work otherwise.}

Clark looked up, noticing that Lois didn't look like she was leaving, and became confused. "Aren't you gonna go, Lois?"

"Don't push me right now, Clark, I'm thinking…" {How do I do this?? I can't do this. I need his friendship but I want more than a friend! So much more that I'm scared! Oh, God, I'm so nervous I'm shaking and pacing and… and now I'm babbling in my head! I never even babble out loud much less in my head…What am I doing??… Ok, calm down, just breathe. In. Out. In. Out. There ya go. Now…} "Ok, umm this is really hard to say and explain. And I don't want to have to do this over again so don't interrupt!"

Clark just nodded in understanding.

"I don't want to hide anymore. Not from you or anyone else. In fact I want the world to know! I've gotten so tired of hiding that I just want to shout it to the world so that I will be free!" Lois noticed that she was confusing Clark so she pressed on. "I can't be your friend anymore, Clark."

Clark's heart sank at this but tried to listen to what else Lois had to say.

"I'm in love and I can't hide it any longer. I've found that I kinda like it. Even though I wasn't admitting it to anyone that didn't change how I felt. If anything, it has strengthened my feelings." The smile that had been on Lois' face faded when she saw the look on Clark's.

Clark was forcing back tears as he said, "I guess this means it's over. I kinda wish I had known that this was gonna be our last evening spent as friends then I could have made it special… I… I think that I should leave Metropolis so that I won't be in the way of your happiness…" Speaking mostly to himself now, Clark continued. "I've moved on before so I guess I could do the same now… It'll just be much harder to forget what I'm leaving behind…"

"LEAVE?!?! Why do you want to leave?!"

"I don't *want* to, Lois. I love my life here, but I don't know if I'll be able to stay here now."

"I guess I should have known that you wouldn't be able to live with this, knowing how I feel. I do want you to know that now I'll never be able to deny my love and it will never fade even if I never see you again." She felt a tear roll down her cheek and didn't try to stop it. "I better go. I don't want you to feel uncomfortable around me."

She grabbed her things and started up the stairs. As she reached the top of the stairs a hand on her arm stopped her and turned her around. Clark was staring straight at her with something in his eyes that she'd only ever seen once since she'd known him. It was the same look he'd had on his face after she'd rejected his declaration of love. The only difference this time was that tears were running down his face as he looked at her. Before she could protest his lips were on hers. It was short but sweet and tender {much like the time he kissed me goodbye during the heat wave}.

The kiss was over as quickly as it had started. Clark was already walking into the bedroom when Lois finally came around. She was confused, to say the least.

Realizing what had happened, she ran after Clark and spun him around. "Why did you do that?" she asked praying that maybe there was hope after all.

Clark shrugged. "I just wanted to kiss you one last time before I left and while I still could. It won't take me long to pack everything up and get out of here. I had to kiss you just once before never coming back."

Lois didn't really understand what all he'd said meant. All she could think to do was to pull him into a passionate kiss like neither had ever had before.

Clark responded even though he was both heartbroken and confused by the many events of the evening.

When they finally came up for air, they stared into the other's eyes, looking for a hint of what it had all meant.

Lois spoke first. "If you insisted on kissing me goodbye you should have done it properly," Lois said with a huge grin on her face.

"I… I… I don't understand…," Clark stammered, "I thought you were so in love that you couldn't hide it anymore?"

"I am."

"So, why the passionate kiss if you're just gonna go off to be with the man you love?"

"Because, you lunkhead!! You are the man I'm in love with!! And it would be stupid to go kissing some man that I wasn't in love with!!!"

Clark's mouth dropped open. He didn't know what to say. After all that and she was saying that he was the man she had been talking about. {WOW!…then… then, she loved him!! She really did love HIM! Not some hero in blue and red but a farmboy from Kansas!} Before Lois could protest, Clark had picked her up and was spinning around.

He was so happy, in fact, that he started to float as they kissed again. When the kiss ended Lois noticed that neither her feet nor Clark's were on the floor. She gasped and then stared at Clark questioningly. He nodded with a smile and then said, "I've been meaning to tell you that for a while now anyway." He grinned and set them down on the floor beside the couch.

Lois was almost in a state of shock. This was huge! {I guess he probably had very good reasons for not telling me… Especially after the way I've treated him… OH God!! I was horrible! How could I even think that he could love me now?!?!}

"Lois, I know this is a lot to take in. Are you okay with it? I'll answer all your questions and now that you know this, I don't have any more secrets from you. Well, one but you probably already know it anyway."

Lois shook her head, "No, what is this other secret?"

Clark chuckled at her horrified face and then, still smiling, said, "I love you, Lois Lane! I love you so much. I've loved you since you barged in on my first interview with Perry. Before that I never thought I could love anyone because I was so different. I certainly didn't believe I would experience love at first sight. I was proved wrong though."

"Oh, well, I guess I had at least figured out that you felt *something* for me. I love you, Clark Kent. I don't even know why I've been fighting it for so long because it feels so wonderful to say it! I still want to scream it out to the world. I love Clark Jerome Kent!!" She laughed at herself and Clark joined in because he knew exactly how that felt. They calmed down and stared into each other's eyes.


"Yeah, Lois?"

"You're not gonna leave, are you?? Because when I thought you were leaving I didn't even want to go on anymore. I just wanted to go crawl into my bed and cry because you wouldn't even stay in the same city with me because I loved you. Oh, Clark I don't want to lose you! I…"

Clark loved to hear her babble on and on but he thought this would be the perfect time to test a new way of stopping the "Lane-babble-mode". He leaned over and kissed her. Lois quickly responded and gave up trying to have coherent thoughts. All she needed was the feel of Clark's soft lips hungrily caressing hers.

"I'm never gonna leave you, Lois. I love you so much." He said this while planting kisses along her jaw and down the curve of her throat, stressing each word with one or two kisses.

They still had several things to work through, but they could take a rain check on all of them. For now they were content to just be together, knowing that they loved each other deeply.


*Disclaimer*: Usual disclaimers apply. Characters aren't mine, I only borrow them for my own entertainment.