The Story of Kal-El and His Concubines

By Saskia <>

Rated: PG

Submitted: July 2003

Summary: Lois saves the day in this reworking of a certain few scenes from our favourite show. ;)

This story is written for Anna on her 21st birthday. So happy birthday for the last time this year, buddy. :)

As I heard some of Anna's likings for fics, I put them together in the hope you and all the other readers like it. And it's just some of the fun we started together, only made a bit worse. <g>

A huge thank you goes to my Beta Readers: Laswa, Jana and Carole. Thank you for your wonderful help and for doing this on a very short notice in your already busy lives. And thanks also for all the people who answered all my questions on IRC. Your help is all very much appreciated! Another thank you goes to the readers of Finally, a huge thank you to my GE, LabRat.

Any comments and feedback is welcome at the above mentioned email address.

All usual disclaimer apply here. This is a little story just meant for fun.

So without further ado, read on…


"I can't take it any longer."

Clark muttered to himself. He'd been on board a space ship for quite some time now. Well, actually, he was on board a flying castle. But this idea was so ridiculous that he could hardly believe he was not dreaming. And yet he'd pinched himself several times already and it *did* hurt. So he was not dreaming.

Obviously, the big mess he was in was very real. And it was definitely not what Clark wanted at all.

First, the New Kryptonians had invaded his and Lois's life while they were finally happy together and almost married. Secondly, they had convinced him to join forces with them. Third, he was walking around in a monkey suit and went by the name Kal-El now. So far nothing too serious, he could live with all of that and had agreed with it eventually. But it had gotten so much worse.

The moment he and Zara, his supposed 'birth wife,' had entered the castle, they were greeted by a large group of elders. As flattering as it was, it was also annoying. Right after that, he'd been forced to marry Zara and had been expected to consummate that marriage! How could they do that? He was not in love with Zara at all! His one true love was waiting for him on Earth. It was a good thing Zara felt as bad about it as he did, so they had made a deal. They were only partners as far as saving New Krypton and getting rid of Lord Nor was concerned.

But all Clark could think of was Lois.

All he wanted was to see her again and kiss her senseless.

He missed her, and his body ached to hold her close to him again. And just being with Lois was far better than what he was supposed to do right now.

Nor was on Earth and no one had any clue where he was or what his plan was. All Clark knew was that Nor was up to no good, and the other nobles were convinced of that too. So Clark, or rather all of them, had to do something about that.

Making a plan to stop Nor.

A plan that, at the moment, involved the deaths of many humans.

That was not a good plan, but no one wanted to listen to him. He was too inexperienced at that, according to these other people. But he was their leader, so something was not right. Not that he cared. He wanted this to be over with. Deal with Nor, defeat him in his own way. That meant he could stay on Earth and get back to Lois.

How he missed Lois.

A tear slowly found its way down Clark's cheek. His life was one big mess and he desperately wanted to return to the way things were before these New Kryptonians hadturned it upside down.

Clark's musings were suddenly interrupted by Ching's voice.

"My Lord, I sensed you are in need of some distraction and therefore I brought you something. It's an old custom and you are entitled to use it."

"Ching, I am in no mood to have to do much with Kryptonian customs. All I want is to get my hands on Nor," Clark replied, in a not so very civil way.

"But, my Lord, I am certain you will like this custom. If you could just take a look. I found you some concubines. You can select one to help you relax a bit," Ching explained.

Zara's face lit up at Ching's words and even Trey nodded in approval.

"Please, sir, just give them a chance." Ching's voice sounded pleading as well.

It sounded so ridiculous to Clark; this was supposed to be a very modern civilization and they had *concubines?* Anyway, it could never hurt to look. Maybe he'd get to learn a bit more of the Kryptonian culture if he talked to them, and see some of the more normal people instead of all these silly nobles. But he'd make sure Ching didn't get away with it that easily. The man knew where his heart lay after all!

"All right, but, Ching, this only makes things more complicated. So make sure to get rid of that custom later. Women have the same rights as we do," Clark reluctantly answered, while turning around to see what Ching had brought him.

Four women and one man. A man? The nerve of the lieutenant. What did he need with a man?

Then his eyes wandered over the women and what he saw wasn't too bad. One of the women cautiously stepped aside a bit, and Clark got a better look at her. And what he saw made him gasp.

"Lois?" Clark asked, not believing what he saw. Directly followed by, "Ching, what's the meaning of these people?"

"Well, I thought it was quite obvious. I brought the woman you liked on Earth. I brought a few more women in the same style as her. And just in case, if your taste was somewhat different, which really seems to be normal on Earth, I brought you a man."

"Yes, I see that. Not that you are very right on style. Lois and those other woman don't look the same one bit. And I'm not judging their personality now. But a man?" Clark still couldn't believe it.

"Ehm, yes," Ching wondered what could be so wrong with that.

"And not just any man, but Daniel Scardino?"

"Oh, you know him?" Ching sounded defeated.

"Oh boy, do I know him. The guy's a pain in the neck. Get him out of my sight right away, Ching. He has no business here," Clark told him quite harshly.

"But, as you brought Lois, I'll forgive you, Ching," Clark continued to prevent them from actually speaking. "Now, if you don't mind, I'll take my concubine to a private room."

Clark snatched Lois and pulled her with him, leaving the others behind, stunned.


He had no idea what had just happened. Nor was he sure about the last few hours. It seemed to be a dream, but it was very far-fetched and also looked too real. So he just shrugged and adored the company of the ladies next to him.

Dan always enjoyed the company of women, especially if they were as good looking as these were. Of course, Lois looked as good as he remembered her, but she was unavailable to him. The other three women had some resemblance to Lois. Nice long legs, beautiful eyes, slender, good-looking and lips that seemed to be in need of his kisses. This must be his lucky day, having three women for him alone. And all the things he could do…

Suddenly, his attention was drawn back to his surroundings. The conversation had apparently turned to him, and he wouldn't miss that.

Obviously, that dude in the odd suit <<hadn't he ever heard of the latest fashion?>> knew him. But he had no idea who that monkey was. On a second look, the guy seemed vaguely familiar, but Dan couldn't put his finger on it. And his memory wasn't to be trusted to put names to faces.

<<What? Pain in the neck?>> Who had he hurt — not that he cared — so much then? The only person that he could think of was… no, that couldn't be. <<Back to Earth?>> So they weren't on Earth. How was that possible?

Indeed, while Dan looked around the room, he had to admit this was not the style of any human being. He couldn't even begin to describe it, so horrible was it to him. Slowly, he started to remember some more things. A previous room… and a dressing room.

With that thought, he finally looked down to see what he was wearing. And that gave him a big shock.

A black and very tight dress greeted his eyes.

A dress? Dan couldn't believe his eyes. What had happened to him? And why was Lois here? This was just too much for the DEA agent. So he returned his attention to the women, who were now giving him weird looks in return. But my, did they look beautiful, especially in their white clothes that hardly left anything to the imagination.

He moved a little closer to them. Right then, he got cut off by a strong arm that pulled Lois away from the group and out of the room. What did he miss? Where was Lois going?

Finally, his mind put together some things… Superman symbol, Lois, concubine. He must be a concubine for those New Kryptonians he had heard about, and so was Lois. <<Wait a minute, that also meant that… no that couldn't be. Superman would never take advantage of Lois, now would he?>>

Dan's mind was getting overactive as revelation after revelation took place. Finally, he couldn't take it anymore and collapsed.


"Clark, what's going on?" Lois asked once they had entered a room. She didn't even pause to look around, too confused by the whole situation.

Clark pulled Lois into his arms before replying. He finally had Lois by his side again and he needed to be reassured it was really her. He smelled her perfume, heard her familiar heartbeat and saw the woman he loved in her eyes. Yes, this was really *his* Lois Lane.

And just to show her how much he had missed her, he lowered his head until their mouths were barely an inch apart. "I love you, Lois," he murmured before his lips covered hers, completely enjoying the sensations that rushed like a tidal wave through his body.

After a few moments, he felt Lois wrap her arms around his neck as she drew him closer to her. She responded to his caresses and parted her lips underneath his. He could feel the spark between them. Lois put her hand a little higher and played with his hair. Clark let out a soft moan, enjoying the sensations Lois created within him.

They kept kissing for a while; frantically needing the other to be sure it was real, that it was not another dream. Finally, Lois broke the kiss, gasping, and in need of some air. But she didn't dare break the contact with Clark, so she put her head in the crook of his shoulder and just relaxed while breathing in his scent.

Clark was the first to break the silence. "So you want to know what happened?"

"Yes," Lois replied.

Clark quickly explained everything. The fake marriage with Zara, Nor's business on Earth, the plan of defeating Nor and killing thousands of innocent humans, some of the Kryptonian customs and Ching's latest idea of concubines.

"Clark, Ching already explained the concubine thing to me. That's why I'm here. But I have no idea why he brought Dan as well. And why on earth did he have to choose Dan out of the millions of male citizens living on Earth?" Lois cut him off at that point, while breaking the contact with her fianc‚. She just looked into his eyes, hoping to find some sort of explanation there.

"I don't know, Lois. I really don't. Maybe Ching has indeed spent too much time on Earth and misunderstood some of our customs. Or they have followed us for a lot longer than we are aware of. Anyway, I don't want to discuss Scardino now. You know my feelings on that subject."

"Indeed, I do," Lois answered. Then she quickly added, "And I love you, Clark, don't ever forget that."

A huge smile appeared on Clark's face, and he gathered Lois in his arms again.

"So, what we need to concentrate on right now is Nor and how to go get rid of him," Clark continued, while he pulled Lois with him to sit next to him on the bed.

"Yes, that would sound nice. Do you have any ideas yet?"

"No, that's the problem. I have no idea who this Nor is or where he is at the moment and what exactly he has done so far," Clark sighed.

"Well, I do know some of these things and I came up with a theory…"

"You what?" Clark exclaimed.

"Let me finish, okay?"

Clark just nodded in agreement and stared at Lois, his brilliant soon-to-be wife, waiting for her explanation.

"Martha called me earlier today and something was very wrong in Smallville. Before she could explain what was wrong, the connection got broken. I kept trying, but I couldn't reach her or anyone else in your home town. So I let Jimmy try, and even he wasn't able to get someone in Smallville on the line. It was very weird, since the phone company and the government couldn't give us any leads either. Finally, we saw some images on the television. It appears that, you called him Nor, right?"


"Good. So that Nor fellow of yours has taken Smallville hostage. He's executing people already, it really doesn't look good. There's a force field around the town, no one can get in or out. Military force doesn't help, it's a technology too advanced for us. The only thing that will get Smallville free is to give Nor world domination. And we can't let that happen," Lois finished her short review of recent events.

Clark was shocked. He knew that Nor was capable of many things, evil things too. But this serious? And what was his deal on Earth anyway? Why couldn't he fight with him on New Krypton, where the man belonged. What was the use of involving human beings in it?

"That's horrible, Lois. Do you know how my parents are?" He sure hoped nothing had happened to them.

"I don't know, Clark, like I said, I can't reach them. So I can only assume they are all right. But you know your parents, they're strong and will survive this ordeal, Clark. Just have faith in them." Lois tried to reassure him, but she wasn't even sure she believed it.

"Guess you're right. And since just worrying won't help, we'll move on to the what we *can* do now, shall we?"

"Right. So, can you tell me first what you and your people want to do? I don't know anything about your rules, ethics and such things, so my idea might not work without that."

"Fair enough. Not that I'm such an expert on that field, Lois," Clark said with a chuckle. Even Lois had to smile at that remark.

"Anyhow, the plan is to get all my men together and attack. Just like that. But up until now, we didn't even know his location. And lots of innocent people will die, so I don't like the plan. Whatever you have will be better." Clark turned to Lois again with a pleading look on his face. He desperately wished she had thought of something decent that would actually work. Not that he doubted Lois, but the situation was very complicated.

"I've been thinking. How long have those men been on Earth now? A few hours? A day?"

"About a day now," Clark merely replied.

"And how long did it take you to develop your powers?"

"I've told you that, Lois. I was eighteen before I started getting my current powers and it took me years to develop them all." Clark didn't see what this had to do with the problem at hand.

"And how long does it take you to recover after Kryptonite exposure?"

"Depends on how long I've been exposed. A few hours for a short time, and at least a day for longer periods," Clark answered.

Suddenly it started to dawn on Clark. "You mean that…"

"Yes, Clark. There is no proof yet that they are using super powers, let alone know about them. It's very reasonable that they don't have them yet because they have not been under the influence of the yellow sun long enough. So you, with super powers, should be able to defeat them pretty easily without hurting anyone."

Clark could slap himself on his head… that *he* hadn't thought of it. Of course, now she mentioned it, it was very logical. His wonderful tornado had found the solution to their problem again. And, to celebrate it, he pulled her into another embrace while dropping little butterfly kisses on her neck.

Lois started to giggle. "Clark… stop that… it's not…over yet," she just managed to get out of her mouth.

"That's easily fixed," Clark said. "Just hold on a minute and I'll deal with it."

"Just a minute? Clark, what are you going to do?" Lois asked, suddenly very worried.

"Hush, I'm trying to concentrate," came the answer.

Obediently, Lois did as she was asked, but she didn't like it one bit.

<<Zara, take Ching and head for Smallville, Kansas. Nor is there, but he has no super powers yet. Overpower him and his men and bring them back here. Put them on trial immediately.>>


<<Just do as I say, Zara. You won't find much resistance.>>

<<All right, if you say so.>>

<<Thank you.>>

"Zara and Ching are going to deal with Nor, so until they come back, we have some private time left."

"How? Never mind, explain that to me later. I don't want to miss any quality time with you." And Lois put her arms around his neck again as she drew him near for another soul-shattering kiss.


The whole ordeal was over. In a minute, Clark would take Lois home and the New Kryptonians would head for their own planet again.

Lois had been right, Nor and his men did not have any powers yet. They had just used brutal strength and neat technology. They had been very surprised when Zara and Ching *flew* in. And as Clark had said, they had been easily overpowered.

Even their trial had gone smoothly. They had confessed and were in jail now. For their betrayal, their molecules would be sent into space.

And Clark had arranged that his marriage to Zara be annulled. Ching would take over his place, and together he and Zara would rule over New Krypton. Trey had agreed to that, seeing that Clark was better off on Earth and Ching was more familiar with New Krypton anyway.

So now they were saying their good-byes.

"Thank you for everything you've done for us, Clark," Zara told him. "And you too, Lois. May you live happily ever after."

"Thank you too, Zara. And all best wishes for New Krypton. Make this woman happy, Ching," Clark replied.

All Ching and Lois said was goodbye.

One minute later, Clark and Lois found themselves back at Lois's apartment.

"So… where were we before I had to leave?" Lois asked.

"I don't know. But at a kissing stage seems like a nice option to me."

"I just have this feeling we forgot something, Clark."

"Don't worry about that. You just forgot what it feels like if I kiss you." And with that, he pulled her into his arms again and lowered his mouth to hers.


Some thousand miles away, in space, a man was getting very depressed. He had just found out that he had to spend the rest of his life on a planet called New Krypton, where he was not allowed to go after women.

Daniel Scardino was furious. This had to be one of Clark Kent's plans so he would not interfere in his life again.