By Raquel Guimaraes <lanelana@yahoo.com.br>
Rated: PG
Submitted: September 2003
Summary: Lois finds herself alone when Clark goes to New Krypton, but is she going to lose him forever?
First of all, I want to dedicate this story to some very important friends of mine: K tia and Tim. I do want to dedicate it to someone else too, Adam Labotka, who was the inspiration for this story. Guys, you have been helping me a lot and being my friends and I want to show you that you are like family now. Thank you so much for putting up with me. And Adam, see what you do to me when you're not around? This fanfic is all your fault! ;)
I want to thank all FoLCs out there, especially Anna Botsakou, who keeps pushing me to write and who was my BR on this story.
DISCLAIMER: The principal characters and concepts in this story were taken from the "Lois & Clark" series and are therefore the rightful property of DC Comics, December 3 Productions and WB. The story itself is mine.
NOTES: This little story takes place during the New Krypton Arc.
Any criticism is very welcome…even the tomatoes <g>
I hope you all like it.
***
I'm here in my room. I'm all alone and feeling as if the world is about to fall on my head. I'm feeling alone, I'm feeling down. All I've been doing is crying and crying. I still can't believe you went away. You are so far away right now.
Sometimes I feel your presence here, but then I realize it was just another dream; a cruel and sad dream. You were never here and I go back to my loneliness and my tears.
I was so stupid. I waited so long to tell you that I loved you and now you are gone. Why was I so galactically stupid that I couldn't see what was right in front of me?
I know that in your heart you know that I love you and that I'll be waiting for you, but you are so far away from me right now.
I was so crazy for believing that love didn't matter and that I could live without it. Why did my past have to be so bad that it made me a Mad Dog and an Ice Queen? If it wasn't for me would we have been together earlier?
Even when I wasn't nice to you, you were nice for both of us. Do you think only your life changed after we met? No, because once I was this lonely, lonely soul. But then you found me.
I didn't want to accept that my life always depended on you. I don't know why I hid this love for so long but it's all gone now. You are so far, far away from me right now.
I'll still be here when you come back, if you come back. Why did I let you go?
My tears are drying now; I don't have more to let go.
I look at the sky and remember when we used to fly together. When I could feel you so close to me.
Oh God, why did I wait so long to tell you that I love you? If I had told you this before we would have been happy for a long time and I could even be stronger now but you are so far away from me right now.
What did we do to deserve this? We went through a lot of things already, and when I was starting to believe you would finally be mine and I'd be yours, something like this happened.
Sometimes I wish you could be just an ordinary man, living an ordinary life. Oh, isn't this ironic? I fell in with you first because of your super side and now I'm here just wishing that you didn't have this side.
No, knowing you I know that you would still go even without your super side simply because that's who you are. You can't stand seeing people in trouble without helping them and this time they are your people.
I couldn't believe what they were at first. I tried to tell myself that they weren't real. You couldn't possibly be married to another woman, but then it turned out it was true. I knew that they needed you but what about me? Yes, I tried to be selfish again, but it wouldn't help you, so I just let you go and so you are so far, far away from me right now.
That's who you are and that's what you needed to do, but I'm here and I'm alone and I'm missing you so much. I close my eyes and I try to forget but then I can hear you in my heart, calling my name from a long long distance. Am I going crazy?
I can hear him, I can feel him. Oh God, am I going insane?
He is touching me… I don't want to open my eyes and see it is just a dream. Oh God, he is kissing me. Should I respond to this?
Oh, I had this dream before and I know how it ends…me home alone. Why is it so real right now? Why is God doing this to me? Make it stop please! I can't take it anymore! Go away, dream and let me cry my tears. Let me with my memories and maybe hopes but go away now, please.
Why am I feeling him? I don't want to open my eyes but someone is calling me… someone, someone is calling me.
I open my eyes and he is here. No, it's a dream again. I try to tell myself this over and over, but, yes…he is here.
He is the one who got my heart some years ago. He is the one who made me feel love. Who taught me what love is and how to love someone.
He is back! No matter what happened, he is back now. I don't want to talk. I don't want him to explain how he got back. All I want is to feel him, feel his body close to mine, feel his lips on mine and feel his love. Whatever happened, I'll know later. I just need love right now, just like I know he needs it too.
He is close to me, he is so close to me right now. Goodbye sleepless nights, goodbye tears that I cried, goodbye distant star… he is here right now and that's all I ever needed.
THE END