A Confused Woman's Feelings

By Anna Botsakou <in_love_with_some_1@yahoo.gr>

Rated: PG

Submitted: June 2003

Summary: Lois is trying to realize what she's feeling after Clark's proposal. A fic for the BatP/HoL ("Barbarians at the Planet"/"House of Luthor") Challenge.

This story was written in response to the "Barbarians at the Planet/House of Luthor Challenge" challenge over on The Lois and Clark Fanfic Message Boards (http://www.lcficmbs.com/) where we were asked to write a story about Lois not rejecting Clark after he tells her he's in love with her, somewhere between those two episodes.

A big thank you to Raquel, who helped me find a title, and another one to Carole, who B-Read it at her own risk :).


Lois gazed into Clark's eyes, astonished. She had just listened to his declaration of love, and just couldn't believe it.

It sounded so true. His gentle words left her in no doubt. However, this couldn't be possible. He was her best friend, her partner. could he be in love with her?

"Really, Clark?" she dared to ask.

"Really, Lois," he admitted, once again.

She turned her head, absently. This was the last thing she'd expected: Clark telling her that he loved her, just when she was ready to accept Lex Luthor's proposal. It was bizarre, and it was scaring her. She didn't know why, but it was scaring her.

Yet, it felt extremely good. comforting, sweet, lovely.

Lois blinked, wondering if she was crazy. It was scary and bizarre, it was making her nervous, and at the same time it was comforting and sweet? How could this be happening?

She blinked again, thinking. Now that she'd heard it, she realized it was obvious. She should have realized it before he told her. She'd caught him staring at her several times with that look in his eyes, but she'd always thought that it was her imagination, and that it didn't mean a thing. The way he used to talk to her and treat her, some "jokes" he'd said. Now she could see it clearly.

Still confused, she tried to decide whether this was a good or a bad thing. She couldn't trust her feelings, simply because she didn't know what she was feeling. She tried to think things over.

But what else could she really think? It was very simple. She would get married to Lex Luthor, that was for sure. She was not intending to deny his proposal.

Superman crossed her mind instantly. If he said he liked her.

But no, he wouldn't. He would never do that. Who was she trying to fool? Superman was just not for her. He was something out of her reach, out of every woman's reach.

So, where was she standing now? Between two men, who were expecting her to choose one of them.

No. She had already chosen. All the things she'd said to Lex. She hadn't really accepted yet, but she had implied that she would, one of these days. He was expecting her to do it.

She just couldn't tell him that she wouldn't. She couldn't, and she shouldn't.

So, what was she supposed to do now? Apparently, all she could say was "Clark, I'm sorry, but I do not feel the same way".

She didn't feel the same way. or did she?

All in all, she was sure she was not in love with Lex Luthor. Then, why was she even considering saying yes to him?

She sighed, closed her eyes and bent her head. Her thoughts and her feelings were running through her mind, mixed up in a way that was confusing her even more than she already was.

She tried to bring things into order.

Did she love Lex? No.

Did she love Clark?

She wasn't sure. She liked to spend time with him, of course. He was interesting, funny, caring, sweet. everything she wanted from a friend.

In fact, anything she'd ask from a boyfriend.

On second thoughts, maybe the prospect of being Clark's girlfriend was not that terrifying. In fact, it sounded good, very good.

Well, where was she driving herself?

The question was simple: Did she love Clark Kent, or not?

As she was trying to decide, something interrupted her train of thought.


It was Clark, who, seeing her quiet and skeptical for so long, had gotten worried.

"Ehm." She came back to reality and turned to him. "What?"

She didn't get an answer. She just saw his eyes, silently asking her if she was all right, and if there was anything he could do for her.

Those beautiful, brown eyes, that were telling her that Clark would do anything for her, anything she might ask him, anything she might ever need him to.

And then, she knew.

"Yes," she murmured.

"Yes, what?" Clark replied, confused.

Lois blinked, and took a deep breath. "I'm in love with you," she said.

Clark kept looking at her, stunned. His jaw had dropped.

There was a moment of awkward silence.

And then, Lois leaned towards him and they kissed.