By Paul-Gabriel Wiener <firstname.lastname@example.org>
Submitted: November, 2003
Summary: Clark tells a story to pass the time while making breakfast.
Author's note: This is a response to a challenge on the boards from LauraBF, who wanted to see some stories about everyday life. I found the recipe through a web search that took me to http://www.freerecipe.org's breakfast listings. For the record, I've never tried it myself. I get my pancakes from IHOP. <g>
"Mornin', Dad," Michael Aaron Kent said as he entered the kitchen.
Clark looked up from the counter, where he'd been gathering the ingredients to make a leisurely Saturday breakfast. "Good morning," he responded with a smile. "How's my Big Mac today?" The nickname was an old one, used in the sort of affectionately teasing manner that only works among family and the closest of friends. It had grown naturally out of Jimmy's observation that Lois and Clark had inadvertantly given their child initials that spelled "MAK."
Mikey smiled. He considered responding with one of the regular jokes based on the nickname, but decided he wasn't awake enough to play. Instead, he simply said, "hungry." Idly, the old thought crossed his mind that he couldn't wait until Mom delivered so he could start calling his baby brother or sister "small fry."
"Hungry, I can fix. It will take a little while, though." He turned away to turn the stove on and put a small pat of butter in the pan. "In the meantime, do you want to hear a story?"
"Once upon a time," he said, "there were the blueberry people, and they lived in a magical land." As he started to tell the story, Clark double-checked that all the ingredients were out and ready. "In that land," he continued, as he measured out three cups of flour, "they had everything they could ever want. They had flowers to look at and appreciate." Next he added in a cup of milk. "They had milk to drink, so they could grow big and strong." He put the milk away, then picked up the salt shaker. "They had just a bit of salt." He put the salt shaker down and reached over for a tablespoon of sugar. "It's important to have salt because you can't properly appreciate the sweetness of things unless you have a little something for contrast." He paused in the story to let his son take in that little tidbit of wisdom and began to mix the ingredients together in the bowl. Soon he had a smooth mixture. "In short," he said, gradually mixing in five eggs, "they had everything they needed for a happy egg- sistance."
Mikey, who had been watching raptly, groaned at the pun.
Clark smiled, then began to fold in the blueberries. "So, the blueberry people lived together in happiness in this magical land." Seeing that the batter was ready, he moved over to the stove, where the butter had melted nicely. He shook the pan to distribute it around, then began to spoon in the batter. "The land, as it happens, was in a place called Pangea. Now, Pangea was a very hot place. At first, the blueberry people didn't mind. They just felt warm and cozy. But then, the ground underneath them began to change. Slowly, it got darker and became hotter. At the same time, the blueberry people began to feel even warmer.
"The first to notice was Professor Blueberry. He looked around at his village and saw what had happened to the ground. So, he asked the people in the other villages if they saw the same thing. They looked around and, yes, the ground underneath their villages was getting darker and harder, too. So, Professor Blueberry called together the blueberry council. He told them that Pangea was too hot, that the ground was changing. Sometime soon, it would start to burn. The council thought about the problem, but they didn't know what to do. So, they called for help.
"Luckily for them, a flying stranger was nearby and heard their call. Can you guess what his name was, Mikey?"
Clark chuckled. "Good guess, but no, it wasn't Superman. It was…" He reached over and grabbed something from a nearby drawer. Then, using his best vampire accent, he introduced the new character. "Count Spatula!"
"Count Spatula flew over and he saw what was happening. He also knew something that the Blueberry People didn't. He knew that Pangea was alive! So, turning to her, he said, 'I vant to flip your pancakes! Ha ha ha ha!' Well, when Pangea heard that, she began to shake with fear." Clark picked up the pan and shook it, making sure that the pancakes slid easily over the non-stick surface. "Then Count Spatula flew in and he flipped all the Blueberry People's villages upside-down. The Blueberry People were confused at first, but soon realized that they were safe again. With the villages upside-down, the ground was cool, and everything was fine.
"That's what they wanted to believe, anyway, but Professor Blueberry knew better. He looked around and he saw that the ground was starting to change, just like it had before. Pangea was still just as hot, and it wouldn't be long before this side, too, was dark and hard. So, he called together the blueberry council once more. At first, they wanted to believe that everything was fine." As he continued the story, Clark moved over to take out a clean serving plate. "Then they looked down, and they saw that the ground was starting to get darker. They called the other villages, and it was happening there, too. They didn't know what to do. Even if they could turn over, the other side was already firm. It wouldn't help to be back on that side. So, once again, they called for help.
"Once again, Count Spatula heard them. He flew back, and again he spoke to Pangea. This time he said, 'I vant to take your pancakes.' Again, Pangea shook. This time, when she settled down, Count Spatula lifted up the Blueberry People's villages and, one by one, flew away with them. He took them to a new place, one that was cool, so they'd never have to worry about the ground burning." As he spoke, Clark transferred the pancakes to the plate. "The Blueberry People's new home was called China."
Clark turned the stove off and set the pan aside. Then, while the pancakes were cooling, he moved to the sink. "Satisfied with his work, Count Spatula flew off to take a bath. He needed it after all that work. In the meantime, the Blueberry People got used to their new home. They were still warm from the heat of Pangea. Everything seemed fine.
"Professor Blueberry, though, knew it couldn't last. So, he called together the blueberry council one more time. He told them that, in this new home, they would soon become too cold. The council considered the professor's words, and realized he was right. They were comfortable, but soon they would be cold. Again, they called for help.
"By then, Count Spatula had finished with his bath and toweled himself dry. He was already on the way over to check on the Blueberry People when he heard their call. He came in to talk to them." Clark put the spatula on the plate and carried it over to the table. Then he went back to the cabinets so he could start setting the table. "Professor Blueberry told Count Spatula what was wrong. The Count told them not to worry. They weren't going to stay in China much longer, he assured them. Soon, there would come a time when syrup would rain from the skies. Then, the Fork of Destiny would come to bring them to the land of Kent, where they would change once more and become part of something bigger and more important. There, he said, they would live happily ever after. The end."
"That was a great story, Dad," Mikey said while Clark brought the milk and syrup, "but I have a problem."
"How am I supposed to eat them now?"
(Thanks to http://www.freerecipe.org/ for the recipie. For the record, I've never tried it. I get my pancakes from IHOP. ;) )