Just Where Is…? or You Wouldn't Believe Me If I Told You

By Triple L (Jen G.) <mmpr_purple@yahoo.com>

Rated: PG

Submitted: August 2002

Summary: Lois and Clark are out on a story, and Clark disappears again. That starts the chain reaction to this story, Just where is … Clark!

This whole little thing is just something I wanted to try. All characters of Lois and Clark are property of ABC and DC Comics. My creations are my own, and I would appreciate notice before someone else uses them. Any comments? Email me@mmpr_purple@yahoo.com.

This is just a story that I guess would be considered comedy. All different time frames end up here, so if it gets a little confusing, sorry.

I want to thank LabRat for taking the time to look at this short vignette and editing it. And thanks to LabRat, Wendy and Tank for being so kind to me! Thanks all!


Clark looked at his watch. "Where is Lois?" he thought.

Wandering around the park in front of City Hall, he kept glancing at his watch and kept wondering where his partner was.

They were supposed to be going to meet Bobby Bigmouth, because of information that he had on Intergang's leader. But, without Lois, Bobby wouldn't talk.

Suddenly, a call for help swept through the air. Clark, mumbling about timing, ran off, in hopes of catching what seemed like a robbery in progress at New Troy Bank.

Not one minute after Clark left, Lois walked up. She looked around, all over the place.

"Figures that Farmboy would chicken out of the interview of the century," she thought to herself.

Lois looked once more, and wondered, "Just where is…"

"…Clark! Kent! Where are you?" Perry bellowed from his office.

"Right here, Chief. What's wrong?" Clark said.

"Someone just ended up in a ditch over in Hob's Bay. I want you and Lois to go check this thing out, and I want a good front page headline when you come back. And do it on the double!" Perry said, adding his famous gesture toward the end.

As Clark and Lois headed toward the elevator, Lois' mother walked in.

"Mom! What are you doing here?" Lois said.

"Your father is why I'm here. Why I sat in the middle of a busy restaurant for two hours, waiting for him, and he calls the restaurant to tell me that he can't make it after all," Ellen said, sounding very exasperated.

"Mom, why don't you go over and sit down for a few minutes, Clark and I will be right back," Lois said.

"Lois, honey, just where is…"

"…Clark? I haven't seen him all day," Jimmy stated as he sat inside the Kent's apartment.

"He's probably on patrol, Jimmy. You know how he gets," Linda said.

"I still can't get used to the fact that he's Superman," Jimmy said.

"Jimmy, you've know for five years!" Linda replied.

"Yeah, but it's hard to comprehend, I guess," Jimmy said.

Lisa and Lydia, who were Linda's twins, came into the room. They'd sat down next to Jimmy and Linda, and begun to talk, when Superman came flying through the window.

"Hey, cousin, how are you?" Lydia said, looking as Superman became Clark.

"Linda, Lydia, and Lisa. All three triplets here, and no sign of trouble? I must be dreaming." Clark joked.

"Watch it, Kal-El. We are your cousins, ya know." Linda said, daring Clark.

"I'll be on my guard. Jimmy, where's Lois?" Clark said, diverting a laser beam of heat from Linda toward the water fountain Lois had just received as a gift.

"Lois went to the grocery store to pick up some food for CJ. And for the rest of us, we're staying for dinner. And Linda and Lisa's husbands are coming over, too." Lydia said, smiling at Jimmy, her own husband.

"Jason and Tyler? Well, at least Jimmy and I won't be lonely during the dinner conversation," Clark said, slapping Jimmy a high five.

"I'm just glad Tyler got some time off his concert tour. Those agents of his have really been booking performances. He's got them all the way to 2006, and it's only 2001!" Lisa exclaimed.

Clark looked at the window, and as if by magic, a call was heard by all. Jimmy's new found powers picked up the "HELP!" just like the rest of the clan, but only one moved to save the day.

Clark spun, became Superman, and flew off, just as Lois was entering their apartment.

"Jimmy, just where is…"

"…Clark! Clark Kent! Pay attention!" Mrs. Stevenson called from the front of the classroom.

Young Clark Kent found himself day dreaming again. Just the other day, he'd learned that he could fly, and now all he did was dream about what it was like to be up in the sky with the birds, and the planes, although there weren't that many in Kansas. Especially in Smallville.

Clark snapped back to his studies because of the giggling going on in the background. He hated it when they laughed at him. If only they knew what he could do. Well, today, he was going to tell someone. His friend, Lana Lang.

Lana was outside waiting for him after school that day. "Bout time, Clark!" she called when she saw him.

"Sorry, Lana, but Mrs. Stevenson had me write "I will pay attention in class" one hundred times." What Clark didn't say was that he wrote it one hundred times in five seconds. Handy thing, that super-speed.

"Did you want to talk to me about something, Clark?" Lana asked. She was hoping Clark would ask her to the Senior Prom that was coming up in next month.

"Uh, yeah, but not here," Clark said, steering Lana away from the front of the school, and heading toward her car.

"Where, then?" Lana asked, confused by Clark's expression. Clark actually looked scared, as if someone would hear them.

"Lana, let's go to Schuster's Field," Clark said. Maybe if he showed her where he was found, it might help ease the shock of his secret.

"Schuster's Field? Clark, are you trying to take advantage of me?" Lana said. Smallville High School students went there as their own Makeout Point.

"No, Lana. I just have something to tell you, and it's the safest place to be," Clark said, blushing at the thought. "Why would Lana ask that?" he thought to himself.

They drove in silence for twenty minutes, but Lana couldn't take it any longer. "Clark, why do we have to go all the way to Schuster's Field for you to ask me to the prom?"

"The prom? Lana, I'm not askin…"Clark started, but didn't finish. "She wants me to go with her to the Prom?" he thought excitedly. "Lana," he said out loud, "I want to go to the prom with you, but you'd better wait until I tell you something to answer me," Clark said.

When they reached the field, Clark and Lana got out of the car, but right then, bad timing happened. Clark heard fire alarms go off in town, and knew that he had to help, secret or no secret. So, without saying a word to Lana, he took off, risking his identity to help Smallville.

Lana looked around, "Clark, just what is it you want to…" Lana said, but stopped when she noticed Clark was gone. "Now, just where is…"

"…Clark! What have you done with him?" Lois asked furiously to Tempus.

"Not to worry, my dear. He's busy helping people. Well, in his mind, anyway. I figure, the only way to get rid of Superman or Clark is to send him on a little journey. Right now, he should be in 2000, making sure all the clocks are set for the final show at midnight on New Year's Eve. After that, saving a village from a nuclear threat in 2015. A never ending race throughout time. He'll never be back." Tempus laughed when Lois' eyes welled up with tears.

"Tempus, you're more sinister than I could even imagine!" H.G. Wells called from his prison, which was a chair at the moment.

"Herb, really, you are boring. You know that? It's a perfect plan," Tempus said, smiling to himself.

"That's what you may have thought, Tempus! But I have a surprise for you." a familiar voice said from outside the window.

"It can't be!" Tempus said, then ended up staring right into Superman's eyes. "Clark, old chum, how are you?" Tempus chuckled nervously.

"Better than you'll be, Tempus. While you're in jail," Superman said, lifting Tempus into the air, and taking off with him. A few minutes later, he came back and rescued his wife and the time traveler.

"Oh, thank God, Clark! I thought I'd never see you again." Lois sobbed into his shoulder.

"My boy, you still overcome all obstacles just in the nick of, well, time, if you get my drift," Wells said, looking at Clark.

Lois looked at her husband, seeing the face that said he had to go take care of another emergency. "Go," she said to her husband, giving him a gentle kiss on the lips.

When Superman flew off, H.G. Wells escorted Lois outside to her Jeep, which they had used to arrive there earlier.

"My dear, what crosses your mind when he has to go off as Superman?" Wells asked.

"I just always wonder, just where is…"

"…Clark! If he doesn't get back here soon, I'll…" Lois said, still pacing the park, looking for her partner.

Clark, sensing he'd better hide to change, came out of the brush, dusting himself off. "Hi, Lois," he said, but then stopped dead in his tracks.

Lois was staring daggers at him, and big ones at that. "I've been standing here for two hours, and all you can say is 'Hi, Lois'? What kind of partner are you?" Lois yelled.

"Lois, keep your voice down, would you? I'll make you a deal. If you forget about this, I'll pay Bobby for the information. Deal?" he said, hoping.

Lois considered this. "You'll pay Bobby, but I deserve an expensive dinner at Roberto's Italian Cuisine, just for this fiasco. Just where were you, Clark?" she asked.

"Lois, you wouldn't believe me if I told you," Clark said, smiling.