A Clone by Any Other Name

By Tank Wilson (TankW1@aol.com)

Rated: G

Submitted: August 2001

Summary: If Lois' clone had survived, what might she have turned to in order to make a separate life for herself? This little throwaway vignette offers one possibility.

Not too long ago, in one of our little challenge stories, Wendy presented me with the problem of the Lois clone disrupting Lois and Clark's wedding.

Now the story was completed and the problem was solved (sort of), but many of the gentle readers weren't totally satisfied. Since the clone just walked away from the story, many wondered what she would do next. Would she come back to haunt the lives of Lois and Clark? Or, would she go on and try to make some sort of life for herself.

Well, an idea came to me one night. So I decided to let the gentle readers in on one possible future for the poor little Lois clone. It is a light and fluffy little tale, which was posted on Zoom's boards a while back.

All characters trademarked and copyrighted to their respective owners. Any and all feedback is welcome at TankW1@aol.com.


Lois Lane stumbled down the stairs to the new brownstone on Hyperion Avenue that she and her husband Clark Kent now shared as their home together.

'Her husband, Clark Kent'." A smile crept onto her lips as that thought repeated itself in her mind. It was a little scary, but she loved the fact that she and Clark were now, officially, husband and wife. Especially with all that they'd gone through to get where they were now, it was particularly gratifying to have completed that final step in their ever- burgeoning relationship.

She wiped some sleep from her eyes as she turned toward the kitchen. She was freshly showered, hair brushed, and properly attired for work, but she didn't feel as if she were really awake yet, not until she'd had her first cup of coffee. She had also smelled the wonderful aromas that had drifted up the stairs from the kitchen. Clark had been a busy boy this morning.

"Hi," she said with a sleepy smile on her face as she greeted the sight of her husband seated at the table.

He looked up and smiled at her as she entered. "Hi, yourself." He indicated the table, heavily laden with assorted temptations. "There's toast, bacon, pancakes and syrup if you want them."

"Coffee first," Lois muttered as she made a beeline for the Mr. Coffee machine sitting on the counter.

After downing half of her first cup while still standing at the counter, Lois refilled her cup and came over to the table. She watched Clark as he flipped through the pages of the morning edition of the Daily Planet, unaware that she had begun to munch on pieces of toast and bacon as she did so. Several minutes passed in a comfortable silence. Lois allowed her mind to drift.

For the umpteenth time she allowed the events that had nearly ruined their marriage to unspool in her brain. Not only had Lex kidnapped her, he had replaced her with a clone, which Clark had unknowingly married! Then they had had to deal with the whole New Kryptonian fiasco. Lois quickly pushed them from her mind. She'd never really forgiven them for nearly taking Clark away from her forever. Of course, even after that was settled, things couldn't run smoothly for them. Oh no, they had an old adversary to contend with, Myrtle Beach, the so-called Wedding Destroyer. She had decided that Lois and Clark were to be her next targets.

In that one, not even Superman could help. It took Clark's goodness, and compassion, to talk sense into the befuddled and confused woman. Lois could still feel the pain from the electrified ring that Myrtle had substituted for her own wedding ring.

One might think that after all that, Lois and Clark could finally have the pleasant, beautiful wedding that they, and everyone else, hoped for. But even that almost hadn't happened. No, her erstwhile clone showed up at the ceremony causing a major uproar, claiming that Clark was already married to her, and as such wasn't free to marry Lois. That had been a nasty little confrontation, but she and Clark had managed to talk some sense into the woman and she had left them to complete their wedding.

It worried Lois that the clone was still out there somewhere. She wasn't convinced that the woman was going to be content to merely try and find her own way in the world. Lois couldn't help but think that the clone would pop up again somewhere, just to cause Clark and her more trouble.

"Clark?" she asked a bit hesitantly. "I know you don't think I should obsess on this, since that is your area of expertise." She grinned at his frown but quickly regained her serious tone. "But do you ever wonder where the Lois clone is now, and what she may be doing?"

Clark looked up at her with a strange look on his face. "Funny you should be asking that."

Lois was confused. "Why?"

Clark just folded the newspaper over and set it down in front of Lois. There was a splashy, quarter page display ad on the page Clark had folded the paper to.

Lois read over the ad in shocked silence. 'Appearing One Night Only!' the headline screamed, 'The country's newest singing sensation; Lo Lo Laine'. The rest of the ad gave the general information for the upcoming concert event.

Lois threw the paper down in disgust. "Lo Lo Laine! She knew that's what my friends used to call me in high school!" Lois gave Clark an indignant look. "She stole my nickname!"

"I thought you never liked that nickname?" Clark asked with a raised brow.

Lois sputtered. "Well, tha- that's not the point. And look! She spelled Lane wrong too!"

"Maybe she's trying to make her own name, but still retain some of the identity she originated from?"

Lois didn't answer Clark right away. She seemed to be concentrating on the ad. "Clark, do we have any plans for Saturday night?"

Clark answered her guardedly. "No, why?"

Lois met his eyes with a determined stare. "Because we are going to a concert."





Lois and Clark took their seats at the MetroCenter Auditorium, the venue for the concert event. The three day wait until the concert had been torture for Lois. She couldn't concentrate on anything. Luckily, Clark had been able to cover for her on their one story assignment.

The house lights finally went down as the off stage announcer made the introduction. "Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome the country's newest singing sensation, Miss Lo Lo Laine!"

Polite applause greeted the raising of the curtain as the spotlights searched the stage for the star attraction. Lois gasped, and Clark leaned back into his seat with a smile on his face.

"Clark, she — she, looks…"

"Quite fetching."

Lois turned to her partner with a look of horror on her face. "What!"

Clark chuckled. "Lois, she looks like you, so how else could she look, except beautiful."

Lois eyed Clark suspiciously for a moment, then turned her attention back to the stage. "Oh, I don't know. Her hair, her makeup… and that dress, I just hate that dress, and…"

"Ssssh," Clark admonished Lois. "She's about to start."

Lo Lo raised the microphone to her lips to begin her first number. The band played the introduction, and she began to sing. Both Lois and Clark were struck by the sounds that came out of the slender beauty on the stage before them. It wasn't until she had finished her first number that Lois finally found her voice.

"Clark?" Lois looked at him questioningly. "Was it just my dislike for the woman, or was she really awful?"

Clark's look was puzzled as he nodded his acquiescence. "Yes, she was pretty bad." He looked at her and grinned. "I guess the cloning process wasn't perfect. She definitely doesn't have your voice."

Lois gave Clark a smile of gratitude. It was exactly what she hoped Clark would say. Even though she was only a hobby singer, Lois had always been somewhat proud of her singing ability. She didn't want to be the one to point out the difference between her and her unwanted sister, so it was nice that Clark was here to do it for her.

They sat in silence for a few more songs, their initial opinion only being reinforced as each new song was sung. Lois' concentration wandered, as she had lost all interest in 'Lo Lo Laine'. Suddenly her attention was focused on a member of the band. She elbowed Clark.

"Clark," she whispered determinedly. "Look up on the stage — the band — the bass player, does he look familiar to you? Older guy, overweight, dark hair and beard… do you think?"

Clark studied the bass player, even using his enhanced vision to get a closer look. "I think you're right, Lois. There is definitely more gray in his beard, but I'm sure it's him." Clark chuckled softly. "I guess that explains how someone with *Lo Lo's* talent got the job as a singer."

"I guess; he always did have a crush on me." Lois couldn't help but chuckle herself. "And I don't think he took it too well that we didn't want his band to play at our reception." Lois shook her head. "If this is any indication of his musical expertise, I think we made the right decision."

Clark nodded. "I think you are right."

Lois leaned in closer and whispered in Clark's ear. "Let's get out of here. I don't think I can take anymore of this torture." Lois quickly stuck her tongue out and licked Clark's ear. "I think we can come up with something much more enjoyable to do, don't you?"

Clark answered Lois' grin with a wide one of his own. "Oh, yes, I absolutely think we can."

(fade to black for the sake of modesty)