Threads of … Barbecue?

By Tara Smith <>

Rated G

Submitted October 2000

Summary: The cast of the great LnC/Voyager crossover is taking a break between shooting part 1 and part 2. What better way to celebrate than by throwing a barbecue? Someone always has to crash the party, though.

Disclaimer: (/me gets down on my knees and salaams the all powerful Viacom, Paramount, dc comics, December 3rd productions and Warner Brothers) For verily it is written that they have the power and the rights (to all but the plot, such as it is! and Mary Sue and Maggie—they're mine! Do you hear? All mine! Products of my deranged imagination! bwahahahahahahahaha!)

Ahem. Enjoy the story! (echoes of evil laughter!)


Maggie hesitated, then turned and left the room. Lois pressed her face against the cold window and closed her eyes. "I'm sorry, Clark."

The words "Continued in Threads of Fate" faded in over the image as the camera view panned back from the sorrowful form at the viewport. The image faded out and was replaced by the credits scrolling upward.

"Someone turn on the lights!" Kathryn Janeway ordered.

"Computer, lights," Clark said.

As the lights sprang back on, Kathryn gave Clark a sheepish smile. "Thanks. I forgot we were on Voyager for a minute there."

Chakotay, seated beside her, laughed easily. "I know what you mean. That was pretty impressive, watching it from the outside. I just hope I'll get a bigger part in the sequel."

"Well, I, for one, am glad that Thread of Confusion's over," Tom Paris volunteered from the back of the room.

"Yeah, you got banged up a lot in that, didn't you?" Maggie agreed. She was standing just a few feet away from the cocky pilot.

"And how!" Tom said. He sniffed the air suddenly. "Is that …?"

"Yep," Mary Sue said, materializing abruptly at the front of the room. She was, once again, wearing one of her traditional skimpy revealing outfits. This time it was a bikini top and a miniskirt. "Neelix has finished setting up the barbecue on the bridge. Go on and eat!"

Almost as one, the cast of the Voyager/Lois and Clark crossover stood and hurried out of the briefing room that had been altered for this viewing session and onto the bridge. Kathryn and Clark lingered behind, obviously waiting to talk to the beautiful Mary Sue.

She smiled jovially at the two as they tried to talk to her and put an arm around both of their shoulders. "Well, how are two of my favorite characters doing?"

"We're doing fine, thanks," Kathryn said. "I'm just not so sure about this whole barbecue on the bridge, though. It might be detrimental to discipline."

Mary Sue urged them through the doors to the bridge. Normally they would only admit maybe two people through at a time, but this time they opened a little wider to let all three through at once.

"Don't worry about it, Kathryn," Mary Sue said, patting her shoulder soothingly as she cuddled up to Clark. "Everything will be as good as new for Threads of Fate."

"Um, Mary Sue," Clark said uncomfortably. "Could you stop that, please?"

"Stop what?" She gazed up at him through half closed lids. Then she giggled at his expression. "All right, gorgeous. I'll stop making you nervous."

She stepped away from the two and looked around the room. The cast seemed to be having a really good time. Tom and Harry (gorgeous guys, both!) were talking animatedly with Jimmy Olsen from Metropolis. They were probably telling him about some of their holodeck programs, judging from their hand gestures. All three of them had cans of some drink and were eating hamburgers. Beyond them, B'Elanna, Seven, Lois and Maggie were chatting as well. Occasionally, one of them shot a look over at the men, as if to keep tabs on what they were doing. Tuvok, the Doctor, Kes and Dr. Klein were standing in front of the main viewer, which had been deactivated for this party, and were talking quietly. Martha Kent, of course, was by the barbecue with Neelix. Mary Sue chuckled softly at that- -they were undoubtedly exchanging recipes by now. Just a few feet from them were Chakotay and Jonathon Kent.

Some of the extras were there, too—including several of the reptilian aliens, who weren't nearly as xenophobic as they had acted during the filming.

Abruptly the set rocked, throwing most of the cast staggering. Mary Sue managed to fall directly into Clark Kent, who carefully set her back on her feet. The Voyager cast ran for their bridge positions and the Metropolis cast tried to get out of the way.

Kathryn moved forward to stand beside Tom Paris, back in full captain mode. "Mr. Paris, what was that?"

Tom's hands flew over the console. "I don't know, Captain! That blast took out our sensors and viewscreen!"

Kathryn turned and shot Mary Sue a look. "What's going on? We're supposed to be in break!"

Mary Sue pursed her lips in annoyance. "I don't know what that was, but I'm going to find out."

She snapped her fingers and abruptly the bulkhead with the main view screen in it disappeared. On the other side of the wall was another bridge. On it were Q and a bunch of Metropolis reporters Mary Sue recognized as the ones from the crater. All of them had cameras ready.

"Oh, for casting's sake!" Mary Sue muttered under her breath. "Q, what is the meaning of this?"

"Oh, nothing much," Q smiled charmingly at her from the captains seat. "May I say you look positively ravishing in that dress!"

Mary Sue smoothed the fabric of her tight fitting garment against her body and frowned at him. "No, you may not! What do you think you are doing?"

"I think the human term is 'crashing the party,'" Q told her. "We're going to take a bunch of pictures of this party and send them back to Starfleet Command for Kathy!"

"What?" Kathryn yelped. "You can't do that!"

"You're just mad because we forgot to invite you to this, aren't you?" Maggie said.

"Well…" Q looked uncomfortable. "Maybe."

Kathryn turned to fix Mary Sue with an accusative glare. "Mary Sue?"

"Oops!" Mary Sue said brightly. "I knew I was forgetting something!"

"Mary Sue!" Clark said sternly.

She pouted prettily at him. "Oh, all right!"

She snapped her fingers at Q and a large white envelope marked "Invitation" appeared in his hand. "Happy now?"

Q looked sulky for a minute more then grinned broadly. "Yes, very."

He snapped his fingers and the reporters vanished. Mary Sue rolled her eyes and gestured. The viewscreen and bulkhead reappeared, the barbecue set itself upright and stopped trying to set fire to the fire-proof carpeting of the bridge and Q was suddenly standing directly in front of Kathryn Janeway. Mary Sue nodded at Harry, who pressed buttons on his console. Party music began playing over the bridge speakers.

"Now that that's over, let's party!" Mary Sue said. She popped over beside Harry Kim, the only currently available guy on the bridge whom she was interested in (she wanted this party to go smoothly, without any more ruffled feelings) and dragged him out from behind his station to dance with. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw several other couples—Kathryn and Chakotay, Tom and B'Elanna, Lois and Clark, and Maggie and Jimmy, plus some of the extras—also start dancing. She smiled and cuddled closer to Harry. Yep, this cast was the best!