Always Hang Up Your Clothes

By Becky Kuesters <>

Rated G

Submitted March 2000

Summary: Lois gets more than she bargained for when she tidies up Clark's messy apartment in this cute revelation story.

This story came from an idea I had while trying to think of an explanation for that photo of Lois wrapped in Superman's cape standing next to Clark Kent. This photo (a first season promo shot, I believe) has always irritated me, even before I began watching the show. Maybe if their poses had been closer to what you see in the *Steam* series of photos, it wouldn't bother me so much, but they just sort of stand there in this one and it looks strange.

The story has no continuity and I've probably mixed characters in at a time they were no longer or not yet around, (hit delete right now if you can't stand another *revelation* story ;-) and I apologize for any other discrepancies, but when I wrote this, I had not seen the last half of season 1 or any of season 2.

Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman and Superman are copyrighted by DC Comics, Warner Brothers, etc… and were used without permission.

By Becky Kuesters (

Written August 1997


"I can't believe you just pushed me off the dock like that," Lois snarled as she tried, unsuccessfully, to scrape some of the muck off herself.

"Lois, in case you didn't notice, those men were shooting at us," Clark replied in his most reasonable tone.

Lois snatched a blanket out of the back of her jeep, wrapped it around her shoulders, and then turned back to Clark.

"I didn't notice you joining me," she snarled. "So what if they were shooting at us? That water was filthy. I'm a mess. And I missed my source because *you* threw me in the lake!"

"Lois, you'd have missed more than your source if one of those bullets had hit you."

"Yeah, well, so would you. What were you doing up on the dock with all those bullets flying around? Think you're Superman or something?"

Lois slammed the hatch and turned around. "Clark, I'm waiting for an explanation."

"I… uh… um…" Clark coughed.

"Oooooh, just never mind. Get in." Lois climbed up into the driver's seat and slammed the door.

Clark sighed as he climbed into the jeep. Sometimes, it seemed like things were going so well between him and Lois, and at other times…

Well, maybe pushing her in the lake hadn't been the brightest idea he'd ever had, but it was either that or trying to explain why bullets bounced off him. And somehow, that wasn't exactly the way he wanted her to find out he was Superman.


As Lois drove back to Metropolis, Clark sat quietly next to her, listening to her breathing. When it subsided to near normal and she quit growling under her breath, he decided to risk speaking.

"We've got a story, Lois," he ventured. "Maybe not the one you wanted, but it's a story."

"No, Clark. You've got a story. You were there when Superman stopped those thugs. You called the police. I was in the lake, trying not to drown — remember? I managed to get out of the water just in time to see Superman and the police leave." Lois jerked the jeep to a screeching halt in front of her apartment. "You can just walk h… why are there three cop cars in front of my apartment?"

Clark looked up, startled, then scanned Lois' apartment.


"Inspector Henderson, what's going on here?" Lois asked.

"Ah, Ms. Lane, I could ask you the same thing," Henderson answered, looking her over.

"We were on a story," Clark said. "Lois… ah… fell in the lake."

As Lois turned to glare at Clark, the inspector shook his head. "Not your day today, is it, Ms. Lane? Well, someone broke into your apartment, made quite a mess and then attacked your neighbor when she came over to see why you were throwing things around."

"My neighbor? Starr? Is she okay?"

"Oh, yes, she's fine. Wish I could say the same about the robber. He pushed her against the wall and took off down the stairs. She lobbed a tub of ice cream at him…"

"Ice cream?" Clark started laughing. "Starr took out a robber with a tub of ice cream?"

"Uh, not exactly. She missed, but he slipped on the ice cream and fell down the stairs."


Lois pushed open the door to her apartment and froze. It was a wreck. Furniture was overturned, pictures had been ripped off the walls, drawers emptied and the contents scattered over all.

Shocked, she moved toward her bedroom. Things were no better there. Her dresser drawers and closet had been emptied, the contents flung randomly about the room, along with perfume bottles, cosmetics and jewelry.

Dazed, she began to sink to the floor, but was stopped by a pair of strong arms.

"Come on, Lois. It's one o'clock in the morning, you can stay at my place tonight," Clark said. "We can deal with this in the morning." Clark spoke briefly to Inspector Henderson and then pulled Lois toward the door.

"But… my clothes," Lois gestured at her still damp and filthy clothing. "I need… to shower… and change."

"You can find something at my place," Clark said as he pushed her out of the door.


"Well, Lois, wanna tell me what, exactly, your source was supposed to tell you?" Clark asked as they climbed back into her jeep.

"What do you mean?"

"Generally, if someone trashes your apartment they have a reason. Who'd you annoy recently?"

Lois tossed her head. "Nobody!"


"Oh, all right. You know I've been investigating that birthing center that was closed down? Well, I found out that the center only leased their property — and the leaseholder, who is none other than Dr. Hannerty, tried four times in the last three months to break their lease. I've been trying to get an interview with him, but…"

"Wait a minute," Clark said, "wasn't Dr. Hannerty the main witness against the center?"


"So who was your source?"

"My source was a nurse who worked for him. She said she had proof that his evidence at the trial was faked."


"So, she didn't give you her name or number?" Clark asked as he handed Lois a towel and started to rummage through his dresser looking for something she could sleep in.

"No, she just…"

Clark's head shot up as he heard, 'Help! Superman!'

"Uh, just grab something out of my closet when you're done with your shower, Lois. I've a… got to… ah… to… a… check my… ah… mailbox," Clark said, and then turned and ran out of the room.

"Clark! Wait… Clark!" Lois shook her head and went into the bathroom. Check his mailbox, do this, do that, how does the man think he can have a relationship with me when he can't even finish a conversation with me?


Lois emerged from her shower in a much better mood. The heat and the pounding of the water on her skin seemed to have washed all of her anger down the drain with the dirt from the lake. She wrapped a towel around herself and walked out into Clark's bedroom.

It's two o'clock in the morning, she thought, and we're all alone in his apartment. Provided he comes back from checking his mail, what else can he possibly come up with that has to be done at this time of the night to stop us from having a serious conversation? And, just to make sure we're not interrupted, I think I'll unplug his phone.

Lois pulled the phone jack out of the wall and then returned to Clark's closet, looking for something to wear.

Too bad there's not likely to be anything in here conducive to romance, she thought as she reached for the closet door. As she pulled it open, a stack of clothes fell out around her feet.

Clark Kent, Lois laughed to herself. Surely your mother taught you to hang your clothes up. She grinned again. Clark kept such a neat house for a guy it was nice to discover he had some normal vices. Just like a man, stuff everything in the closet to clean up for company. I wonder if he leaves the lid off the toothpaste or the toilet seat up, she mused as she bent over and began picking up the clothes. Now, should I be nice and put these away, or just…

Lois frowned. She'd nearly reached the bottom of the pile when she saw it — a glimmer of bright red and blue, colors she was very familiar with. Dropping everything else, she snatched at those colors. Superman's suit and cape — but what were they doing in Clark's closet?

Clark does Superman's laundry? Superman and Clark are friends, so Superman stores his spare suit here? Clark and Superman are having an affair? A dozen other even unlikelier scenarios ran through her mind as she tried, unsuccessfully, to block the one she'd been half suspecting for some time now. As she let her mind actually consider it, she slowly whispered the words out loud, "Clark Kent is Superman." And then, as if the act of saying it out loud broke something within her, the words made it reality and she slowly sank to her knees.

It would explain the running off and so many other things… but not why he hadn't told her. Why he had lied to her. Angry now, she beat her fists in frustration against the red and blue fabric pooled on the floor, wishing it were him.

Oh, sure, she could forgive the lying in the beginning, when they didn't really know each other. But now, when they were so close, best friends, on the verge of becoming more? Surely he should have, would have, confessed something like this to her. Did she really know him after all?

Then she cringed as the reality of Clark and Superman being the same person caused her mind to go off on a totally different tangent and she began to remember the way she'd treated each of them. Things she'd said to each one, and about each one to the other, and she suddenly wished she could erase the last two years of her life.

Then she realized that they both had problems and if he could forgive her and still care for her after the way she'd treated him, couldn't, shouldn't, she be able to do the same with him for not telling her the truth? Suddenly her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the door opening and Clark calling her name.

Yes, Lois thought as she dropped her towel and snatched up Superman's cape, she could forgive him, but first she had to get a confession out of him. Draping the cape around her bare figure, she strode out into the living room. "Hey, Clark," she called. "Didn't your mom ever tell you you should always hang your clothes up?"


the beginning…