By Jennifer Eagan-Dixon <email@example.com>
Submitted February 1999
Summary: To borrow a phrase from a certain "broken down old minister" who helped Lois and Clark when they finally arrived at the perfect time and the perfect place, this wonderfully moving tale shows how love survives. Survives any joy, any sorrow, all the rights, all the wrongs, even life and death.
The characters contained within are property of DC Comics, Inc., the ideas are my own. Thank you and enjoy.
Author's note: First posted to the Lois and Clark message boards December 30, 1996. I have been ORDERED :) to place a warning on this fanfic. It is a death fic, but I hope you will see that it's ultimately quite joyful (which every death should be). Please remember that this story does have an ending of a precious life, but also the beginning of a whole new life.
It had been one of the worst snow storms on record the day she left her family. Inside the warm homestead in Smallville, Kansas, a vigil had been going on inside a tiny and crowded bedroom. Throughout the years, this bedroom had seen the births of numerous Kent family members. Today it would see the passing of its most beloved, Lois Lane Kent.
On her 81st birthday, Lois Lane had suffered a stroke and was sent to bed to mend; however, her frail and tender condition could not make it through this most difficult of battles. Two months later, with her family gathered around, she bid adieu to the world.
Clark now sat on the bed as his wife of 50 years lay drifting between life and death. With all the superpowers he possessed, he knew, this time, he simply could not save her. He sat there stroking her silver hair, her hand tightly wrapped in his. She opened her eyes and smiled at him and lifted a hand for him to lean closer. As he did, she whispered softly in his ear, "Kiss me good-bye." Clark Kent never needed an excuse to kiss his 'bride', as he often called her, and now so many years later, he kissed her softly as if it were the first time.
She squeezed his hand tightly and a tear ran out the corner of her eye. Suddenly a light came shining through her eyes as she began to leave the bonds of earth. Looking at Clark, she excitedly but softly spoke, "Oh Clark! The magnolias! The lovely magnolias!" and with that, she closed her eyes and Clark felt her hand go limp. She was gone from him now and Clark could only numbly sit there and gaze at her. She had been his partner, his lover, his best friend. He felt a tear run down his face and picking up her hand he kissed it gingerly.
*…You were the love
for certain of my life
you were simply my beloved wife…*
"Dad… she lived a wonderful, wonderful life." his eldest son CJ said, putting his hand on Clark's shoulder.
He looked back over his shoulder and smiled at him. "Yes son, she did, she did indeed!" Clark said with a slight smile, laying down her hand.
*…I don't know for certain
how I'll live my life
now alone without my beloved wife
my beloved wife…*
Clark stood up now and the children gathered around to say good bye to their mother. CJ, the eldest, was close to 50 now; next there was Martha, then Jonathan and Ellen the twins, and finally, the baby of the family, Samuel, who had just turned 42. They were a good-looking family, though so different from what those around might suspect.
As the years had flown by, comments had started to creep in through the grapevine. The rudest comments had been about how old Lois appeared next to her husband. Of course, only the family knew the reason why. Clark's aging process had slowed through the years and instead of looking his 82 years, his body was rather closer to only 50. And whenever Clark and Lois were seen together, people remarked that they looked more like mother and son than husband and wife.
*…I can't believe
I've lost the very best of me…
you were the love
for certain of my life
for 50 years simply my beloved wife..*
Clark now asked to be alone with his wife and the children filed out one by one. It was time for just the two of them, and he had something he wanted to say and somehow knew she would hear him.
*…with another love I'll never lie again
it's you I can't deny
it's you I can't defy
a depth so deep…*
As the door closed, he sat back down on the side of the bed. Bending down, looking at the lifeless form that he'd never been able to keep his eyes off, his heart broke.
Even at such an advanced age, Lois Lane possessed such a hold on the man of steel. A hold they relished together. He kissed her forehead and tears formed in his eyes as his words came out slowly.
"I have …loved… you… since… the… moment… I… met …you… Lois… Lane," he whispered through his tears, "and… I …will …never… never…love.. another. Whatever will I do without you?"
*…into my grief
without my beloved soul
I renounce my life
as my right*
*now alone without my beloved wife…
my beloved wife…*
Then he gently laid his head on her chest and he wept. Not even when his parents died had he felt a void inside as he did now. Never before had he felt so alien, so estranged from the world around him. He would have to find his way alone now. Though he had been blessed with children, grandchildren, and now even a few great grandchildren, he knew he would go the rest of his days… alone.
*…my love is gone she suffered long
in hours of pain
my love is gone
would it be wrong if I should
just turn my face away from the light
go with her tonight?…*
As was to be expected, the day passed quickly. The children were taking care of all the necessary arrangements. Throughout the nation, the loss of one of its leading journalists was greatly felt. Funeral arrangements were made, flowers and telegrams had begun to arrive in droves, and the phone started ringing as news of Lois' death hit the airwaves. Clark watched all that was going on around him, and finally when he could take no more, he went flying. Perhaps it wasn't the best thing for him to do, for it reminded him of himself and Lois and all the years he had taken her with him.
They would fly for hours at a time; however, today he would fly in quiet solitude. Finally, night began to fall, and he reluctantly turned his gaze towards home.
Clark now turned the light out in the foyer and turned to head upstairs for bed, he felt the absence of Lois even more.
He was beginning to tire now and his body had finally started to feel its age.
He could even sense the slight nagging of arthritis in his hip as he walked. He walked into the bedroom and switching on the light, his eyes immediately fell to the bed. It had been remade and Lois's favorite pillows now lay on it. He turned and surveyed the room slowly. So many years he and Lois had spent in it; alone together, with kids crawling in between them, and then with the grandchildren running in and out. Now it was 'his' room. He sighed slightly at the thought of sleeping without her. He had slept without her only two times in their married life and as always, he hated it.
He grabbed his pillow and taking the quilt off the bottom of the bed, he headed downstairs to sleep on the couch. Settling in nicely in front of the fireplace, he remembered all the times he had found Lois asleep on this very couch as he flew in from a night 'call'.
She had been such a patient soul throughout the years; much more patient than he had ever hoped to be. Soon, he was drifting off and in his dreams he could see them together once again. She was absolutely magnificent, he mused going off into sleep, there would never be another like her… EVER!
At first it was such a light touch on his face he thought it a piece of feather and tried to brush it away. Then, suddenly, he could sense what felt like fingers softly tracing his mouth.
"What are you doing out here, sleepy? Waiting for ME to show up now?" the voice asked
At first he thought he was hearing the television or radio, and without opening his eyes he smiled and turned on his side.
"Clark! Wake up sweetheart!" the now familiar, voice strongly urged.
Clark recognizing the delightful sound, slowly turned and opened his eyes. There in the dark he could make out a shadow; a very attractive shadow. He slowly reached for the light on the end table and there standing before him was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.
"Lois???" he questioned the voice, sitting up on his elbows.
"Don't you wanna come to bed?" she asked sweetly.
Clark now rubbed his eyes and shook his head slightly to shake out the cobwebs. The vision was still there.
"Lois, it can't be you. You're gone," he said softly.
"Well you need to tell my body that I suppose! Now come on — up!!" she said, using a commanding tone as she reached for his hand.
Before Clark knew what was going on, Lois had them headed back upstairs and back to their bedroom.
Now in the bedroom light he could see his visitor clearly. Yes, she was definitely his wife but not the wife he had seen leave the earth earlier that day. She was now standing before him in a light blue satin nightgown that hung off the shoulders and the hem almost hit the floor.
Her hair was short again and a beautiful shade of auburn brown she had when she was younger — much younger; and there situated near her ear, was a lovely magnolia blossom setting off her gorgeous, brown eyes.
"Look at you!" he said smiling and letting his eyes travel the length of her body.
Lois now twirled around, lifting her gown and laughing. She had returned, but in a much younger form.
"By the looks, I think I've returned at the age when I made my wish," she commented looking into the mirror. She now turned and leaned into her husband.
"You like?" she whispered in his ear.
"DO I LIKE?!" he exclaimed loudly, "but I don't understand. PLEASE, Lois, don't go if I ask; but honey how can you be here, like this?"
"Well, like I said," she now kissed him quickly on the mouth, "I must have got my wish." She then sat on the loveseat and patted for him to join her. He quickly came to her and smiling, he listened on.
"Do you remember," Lois started, "after we first married and we found out you wouldn't age like I would?" Clark nodded and let her continue.
"Well, when I left you there sitting on the stairs, I went and had a really good cry and well, I made a wish, said a prayer, I'm not sure really; but I remember pleading right then, 'please when I die, don't ever let him be lonely', and well, here I am!" She smiled innocently and then added "I'm yours if you'll have me!"
Clark stared at this beautiful creature and he reached over and touched her cheek.
"Oh, I missed that, if only for a few hours." she sighed and smiled softly.
Clark was so mystified by all that was going on that he couldn't really say anything or at least anything intelligible. Slowly, he pulled her towards him and let his mouth run up her neck and then onto hers. There hungrily and deeply, with a renewed passion he hadn't felt since they were newlyweds, his mouth enveloped hers. The warmth of her lips and the sweet taste of her kiss once again excited him thoroughly. Suddenly he stopped and gave her a questioning look.
"What's wrong?" she asked, running her hands over his pajama top.
"I'm 80 years old! You're about 30." he said, admiring her once again.
"No, Clark, you're really about 50! I thought we had this whole age thing figured out years ago." Lois insisted.
"Still! I'm 50 and YOU…you are FANTASTIC!!" he said standing up, his hands on his hips.
Lois stood up now and starting to unbutton his pajama top, she grinned, "I happen to prefer an older man; well, that is, just ONE older man!"
She now had his shirt off and was admiring his physique, which still was so magnificently youthful.
"I never did get over how well defined you are!" she said as she gently ran her hands over his chest and pressed herself against him.
Clark had all he could take patiently and with a swoop he headed for the bed. Gently he laid her back on the bed and as he did, he gave her an embarrassed smile.
"This is strange Lois," he said almost apologetically, "I gotta tell ya."
"I think you remember all the right moves," she said sexily, kissing his ear and letting her mouth linger there.
Clark brushed back her hair; and as he did, his hand touched the creamy white blossom placed near her ear.
"A magnolia" he said gazing at the bloom, "you died talking about the magnolias."
"Oh Clark they're absolutely beautiful! You should see them!" she announced excitedly, "They're everywhere and it's just so beautiful. It really is!"
"Well, how about if I just look at you all night," he murmured, his mouth now on her neck, "because I think you're absolutely beautiful!". With that he took his wife into his arms and they once again made glorious magic together as they drifted to the ceiling.
Hours later, as they lay situated in each other's arms, Lois started laughing.
"Remember our honeymoon?! How we never left your apartment for two solid weeks!?"
"I remember we spent a lot of time up on the ceiling."
"We conceived three out the five kids at this altitude" Lois giggled.
"I believe you're right Mrs. Kent!"
Lois now shifted her body towards him, "I almost…ALMOST…forgot how fantastic we are together."
"Hey, even at 80 we had it going on now," Clark objected, "we weren't a total wash out!"
"No, we still had our moments, didn't we?" Lois agreed.
Clark now pulled her on top of him, "I think I'm ready for another moment, how about you?"
Clark blinked as the first rays of sunlight came shining through the windows. It would prove to be a brilliant day with not a cloud in the sky. He now reached for Lois, but his heart nearly stopped as he turned to take her in his arms. Instead of seeing her beautiful face, there on her pillow lay the lovely magnolia bloom she wore.
That was all that remained of the night before. Taking the blossom in his hand he grabbed his robe and headed downstairs.
"Lois!?? Lois??!! Are you down here?" he cried out, bounding down the stairs.
"Daddy?" it was his daughter Ellen now coming out of the kitchen.
"Dad, are you okay?" she asked sadly.
"Oh! Uh… yeah!" Clark replied quickly, "must have been dreaming!"
Ellen came over to him as he stood holding the blossom behind his back,
"Dad, I know how difficult this is for you. I just want you to know I'm here for you."
Clark smiled sweetly and nodded at her, "Thank you honey. I'm fine… really. It was just a dream."
Ellen now turned back to the kitchen, "Well, dad, breakfast is about ready in five minutes. Go get dressed, okay?"
"Right!," he said looking down at the blossom, "I'll go get dressed."
The family had all begun to gather in the living room as the black hearses pulled up outside the front door.
"Dad!" Martha now yelled upstairs, "It's time! You ready?!"
"Be right down!"
Fixing his tie in the mirror, Samuel looked over at his siblings, "Does anybody else think he's handling this EXTREMELY well?!"
"What does THAT mean?" Ellen questioned.
"I don't know, he just seemed kinda 'chipper' this morning at breakfast. I think I even noticed a spring in his step," he answered her.
"We all grieve in our own way! Dr. Samuel, the eternal psychiatrist," his brother Jonathan quipped.
"Well, I know you guys will think I'm nuts," Samuel continued, "but Jan and I stayed in the bedroom next to his last night, and I could have sworn I heard female laughter coming from it!"
CJ now slapped him on the shoulder, "Yep, you're right! We think you're nuts!"
Clark came down the stairs putting on his overcoat, "Make that KNOW you're nuts!"
At times the Kent children forgot their dad was truly 'super' and now was one of them.
"Sorry, dad… forgot you're able to hear a thousand miles away!" Samuel said slyly as he opened the door to usher the family out.
"Dad, what are you wearing in your lapel?", Martha asked as she caught him out of the corner of her eye.
"Oh this? Magnolia bloom. Found it yesterday, when I was out flying," he answered her matter-of-factly.
The funeral for Lois Lane Kent was supposed to have been a small, private affair; but as soon as the news of her death was made public, the media descended on Smallville, with a barrage of publicity.
Still everything was handled with dignity and grace. Millions came to pay their respects and take one last look at the once raven-haired beauty.
Clark had only peered into the casket once and seeing the silver- haired woman lying there he couldn't help feeling it all so surreal.
What was the truth? Was Lois Lane lying there showing all her 80 years? Or was she really that wonderful 30 year old lover he floated with the night before? He would have thought it all a dream, if not for the creamy white blossom in his lapel.
The day ended somewhat sadly, with all the children flying off in various directions. Only CJ, who lived in a neighboring town, would stay close by. Clark stoked the fire in the fireplace and closing it up, he now stretched and turned to head upstairs.
"Did you check to make sure the stove was off?" the voice behind him asked.
Clark grinned as he recognized his wife's voice. He turned, and standing there in only an apron was Lois.
"Yow… I think I know what you're up to, Lois Lane!" he stated, as he walked over to her.
"What am I up to?" she asked grinning, handing him her spatula.
Clark put his arms around her and kissed her neck. Then starting to untie the back, he answered, "You are trying to give this old codger a heart attack so I can join you!"
Once again, if Samuel had still been around, he would have heard that mysterious laughter coming from his father's room.
Clark now floated inches above the bed with Lois situated nicely on top of him.
"So tell me, I didn't see YOU at all today. Am I only going to see you at night?" he asked, "Not that I'm complaining mind you!"
Lois grinned, "Well, I come to you when I feel you missing me the most. That's all I know really."
"That's nice," Clark offered as he squeezed her tightly. Then suddenly he jumped and looked at her sternly, "This isn't gonna end is it? I mean… I'm not going to have you for a few weeks and then poof! — you're gone, and I have to go the rest of my life without you?"
Lois looked questioningly in the air and then smiled softly, "Nope, I think you're stuck with me"
Clark now grinned from ear to ear and he started kissing her all over, "Good answer — good answer!"
Clark Kent never WAS the same after the death of his wife. People said he went slightly daft with her passing. Every day, for the next twenty years, he could be seen playing with the kids in a nearby park. He always had a smile, and a warm handshake; and no matter the weather, he always wore a magnificent magnolia bloom. The family had thought it odd, until one summer night when it all was made clear.
"Is there anyone you wanna say good-bye to?" Lois asked, as she lay cuddled in his arms.
For twenty years now they had had their midnight rendezvous and for twenty years Clark Kent had been waking up with a smile on his face.
Clark looked at her startled, "You mean it's time!? I can go with you tonight!?"
Lois nodded her head yes and placed a kiss on his cheek, "It's time, honey."
"CJ. I'd like to say good-bye to CJ and Marty and…" he started.
"You only have time for one call," Lois gently told him.
"CJ. I'll call CJ."
"Son, this is your dad, I'm sorry to wake you."
"No, it's okay. What's up dad? Everything all right?"
"Oh yeah son, everything's great. CJ, I just called to tell you I love you and I want you tell all your brothers and sisters how much I love them."
"Okay. Dad, you sure you're all right?"
"Fine, son," suddenly CJ could hear his father gasp with delight.
"Oh CJ! The magnolias!! You should see them! They're absolutely beautiful and they're everywhere! They're…"
CJ laid down the receiver with a worried look on his face.
"What's wrong honey?"
"I don't know. I gotta get over to Dad's"
"Let me go with you."
"Dad?" CJ called up the stairs as he entered his father's house.
Soon his wife Mara and he were at the bedroom door. CJ opened it slowly, his heart in his throat.
The phone was buzzing where it lay dropped on the floor.
As they approached the bed, CJ couldn't help but smile. There, with a soft smile on his face, lay his father and clutched in his hand was a fresh magnolia bloom.
*Song "My Beloved Wife" written by Natalie Merchant