Lois & Clark & Angel & Spike

By Merav Granot <granotm@netvision.net.il>

Rated PG

Submitted April 1999

Summary: When Lois and Clark go undercover as Angel and Spike, you never know what might happen!


Morning. Clark's apartment.

The camera moves from the kitchen to the living room, the room is full with black leather clothes, some handcuffs. the music is goofy as though indicating that something naughty was done with those items. the music fades down.

Clark (out of the frame, the camera still moves on the floor revealing some other bleak leather stuff): "No Lois, not there … "

Lois (out of the frame too): Stop being such a baby, if I could do it you can do it too!

Lois steps into the frame, she's wearing the Angel suit (red corset top).

Lois: See? Perfect.

Clark is shown, he is wearing very tight leather pants and black shirt (the Spike outfit)

Clark: I don't know Lois, remember what happened last time we did it? You found yourself buried alive!

Lois: See Clark, you always get you facts wrong, I wasn't BURIED alive, I came out of that.

Clark looks at her with a smile that shows that he just loves it when she talks like that. He starts walking to the kitchen, he seems very uncomfortable, moves his legs heavily, hardly moves.

Clark: Lois I think it's too tight, I can't walk!

Lois: You are such a wuss, Superman saves the world in a pair of tights!

Clark (with his back to Lois, but his face shown to the camera): Well, Superman is something else.

Lois: Besides, I think you look kinda …

Clark: Yea …

Lois (blushes, seems to be uncomfortable to reveal her thoughts. Eventually she smiles): Kinda not bad.

Clark (sarcastically): You are so nice.

Lois walks to the kitchen table and picks up the newspaper.

Lois: Who would have thought that Big Buster Williams will be at the head of a crime organization.

Clark: Who would have thought that Angel & Spike will team up again.

Lois: This is the best way to get to … hmmm … Buster.

Clark: How do you know he'll remember us?

Lois: Let me tell you something Clark; Angel is a person a MAN can't forget. (she throws the newspaper at him, smiles and goes to the fridge)

Clark (to himself): Tell me about it.

Lois (looks inside the fridge): I don't know why I'm looking for food, I can't get anything in as long as I have this on. (Points at her top and skirt)

Clark: Well grab an olive or something, we're late.

Lois gives one last look at the fridge, takes an olive and closes it. She goes to the door, Clark already waits for her there. He gives her her jacket and they walk out.

Morning. Lois' car.

Lois and Clark sit in Lois' car. It's a hot day, they are stuck in traffic, Lois hits the air-conditioner.

Lois: This damn thing is broken.

Lois takes off her jacket and her red top is shown, the driver in the car next to them is looking at her with a look that indicates he's enjoying what he sees.

Driver: You are more than welcome to join me.

Lois (closes the car window): Gosh, how long does it takes to move here?

Clark: Lois, Buster's pub is right around the corner. Park here and we'll walk.

Lois: With these suits on … we'll get arrested.

Clark: Fine, you stay here in traffic, I'll go there and have the scoop all to myself.

Lois: You wouldn't do it … you're too nice.

Clark: Oh really? (Clark looks toward the window and quickly takes off his specs and changes them with sunglasses, he opens the car door ) See me leave. (He smiles, gets out of the car and closes the door)

Lois (sticks her head out the window):Clark … Clark? Where are you going?

Clark looks back at her from the sidewalk.

Clark: Are you coming?

Lois (looks at him angrily): No!

Clark: O.K. then, bye. (He starts walking toward the end of the street)

Lois (thinks a bit and then sticks her head out of the window again): Clark, Clark, hold your horses, I'm coming.

Clark stops walking, watching Lois while she parks the car. Lois comes towards him but doesn't stop when she gets near him. Clark follows her.

Clark: I knew you'd come.

Lois (still walks fast, a bit in front of him): Oh really?

Clark: Yes, when you think someone is going to scoop you, you have this look.

Lois: What look?

Clark: A cute look.

Lois (stops walking): You think I'm cute?

Clark (doesn't know what will be the right answer): hmmm … haa … yea?

Lois (gives him a quick kiss): Same to you.

They continue walking.

The camera shows them from afar (L.S in movie terms) they talk and walk. The camera focuses on a police car and on the two policemen who sit inside.

Policeman 1: What do we have here? (points to Lois and Clark)

Policeman 2: And in broad day light?

Policeman 1: You see new things every day.

Policeman2: Let's get them.

They drive the car towards Lois and Clark, stopping the car in front of them.

Lois: What the … ?

Policeman 1: Lady, when you deal in your kind of work, you have to be careful …

Lois: What work I'm a … (looks at her clothes) Oh no, you think I'm a …

Policeman 2 (to Clark): And who are you? The pimp?

Clark: What? No! We're …

Policeman1: Just get in the car you two, explain yourself at the station!

The policemen get L&C inside the car and drive away.

Around noon. Police station.

Lois and Clark are sitting in front of a desk waiting for a policeman to come. People at the station (men) look at Lois as they pass by.

Lois (to one of the men): What are you looking at? (Clark takes off his leather jacket and puts on Lois.) It's too hot in it!

Clark: Alrighty, if you'd rather people will look at you …

Lois: I'd rather be warm.

A policeman comes and sits by the table.

Policeman: What do we have here?

Lois: It's a mistake, we're not suppose to be here.

Policeman: That's what they all say.

Clark: Look, I got my ID. here, we're reporters from the Daily Planet! (reaches into his pocket and takes out the ID. and hands it to the policeman)

Lois (whispers to Clark): I forgot to tell you something …

Policeman: Mr. Spike, at least make sure you hand me an ID that matches your lies. (the policeman shows the ID to Clark, it had Spike's picture and details in it)

Clark: Lois! Care to explain?

Lois: I've changed your ID …

Clark: I can see that; may I ask why?

Lois: Buster's people, what if they had found you are Clark Kent? …

Policeman: Buster? Big Buster Williams? You are part of his gang?

Lois: Oh no! We … we are writing a story about it. We really are reporters … if you'd call Perry White he'd be …

Policeman: Miss … I may not know a lot about journalism but I do know that you don't wear these clothes to work.

Lois: We're on an undercover mission!

Clark: Yea … and I'm sure that if you'd call Perry …

Policeman: You know that I can send you to jail?

Lois: Jail? Are you crazy?

Clark: Lois, I don't think it's a good idea to call a policeman crazy …

Lois: Sorry about that … call Perry White at the Daily Planet. The number is. 555- …

Policeman: Let ME find the number. (looks through his books, picks up the phone and dials the number)

Still in the police station:

Policeman (talks to the phone): May I talk to Perry White; it's the police.

Lois and Clark look at him.

Policeman: Perry White?

Perry (in his office): Yes.

Policeman: I'm from the police.

Perry: Oh no, what's wrong this time?

Policeman: Do you have workers by the name of Angel and Spike.

Perry: God no!

Lois: It's Lois and Clark!

Policeman: I thought so. There are two people here claiming they work for you …

Perry: Two people you say? Are they a man and a woman?

Policeman: Yes.

Lois (to Clark): Maybe we should call Superman.

Perry: She is brown haired, he's tall with glasses?

Policeman: Yes.

Clark: Why Superman?

Perry (laughs): Oh, let me talk to them.

Policeman: O.K. sir (hands the phone to Lois) He wants to talk to you.

Lois: Perry, help!

Perry: You've got a lot to explain …

Lois: Just tell this police … man to let us go!

Perry: All right … give him back the phone … Angel.

Lois: Funny. (hands the policeman the phone)

Policeman: O.K. sir, I'm letting them go, I hope it's the last time …

Lois and Clark get up and walk away.

Lois: Clark, maybe we should change.

Clark: You think?

Lois: Next time I have these crazy ideas … stop me.

Clark: Yea, like this will work.