Dabbling in Infinity

By Shawn V. <kirshnera@aol.com>

Rated PG-13

Submitted November 1999

Summary: When Clark spontaneously invites Lois to a weekend getaway, they learn more about each other than they bargained for, and their revelations make sparks fly.

This is set in the second season, after Lucky Leon, while Lois and Clark are dating. Comments are extremely welcome at Kirshnera@aol.com


"No, that's okay. I understand. No, really, Mom. Don't worry about it. I'll talk to you later. You too. Bye." Clark hung up the phone.

"What was that all about?" asked Lois.

"That was my mom. My parents and I were going to go to this lakeside cabin in the mountains for the weekend. You know, a little 'get away from it all for a few days' thing. We've done it every summer since I can remember. But my mom's friend is really sick and they want to stay in Smallville and help her out. So I'm out a vacation."

"Well, you could always go alone."

"I don't know. It would be boring all by myself with nobody to talk to, to do things with. Fishing alone is incredibly tedious, and it's almost impossible to run a sailboat by yourself. Campfire? What's the point if there's nobody to share it with? No, I'm just going to stay here in Metropolis. Unless…"


"Lois, would you… would you like to come up to the cabin with me? For the weekend?"

"Oh, Clark, I…" Lois was speechless, her mind reeling. How could she? But then again, how could she pass this up? Just the idea of a mountain hideaway with Clark was enough to send pleasant shivers down her spine. Still… "I'm not sure if I'd feel comfortable… with us 'dating' and everything…"

"No pressure, Lois," Clark offered. "Just two friends taking a much- needed break from the real world. Come on, when was the last time you took a summer vacation?"

No pressure. *That* was a laugh. There was always going to be a subtle pressure, the product of high expectations and higher hopes. But Lois couldn't argue the point that she shouldn't go with him. After all, they were a couple now. They'd kissed, they'd even cuddled a little on Clark's couch, watching a movie. This was what couples *did.* They spent time together, vacations together, simply because they enjoyed being together.

Clark honestly wanted to be with her, hence his invitation. And she wanted to spend the time with him. Where were the ulterior motives? Where were the suspicions? In her imagination, that's where. By now, she knew Clark better than to doubt his intentions. "Okay," she said quietly.

"Okay?" He smiled.

"Yeah." She grinned back at him, holding his gaze for a moment.

It would have been touching and tender, had Jimmy not chosen that moment to come sauntering up in that happy puppy way of his to tell Lois that she had a call waiting on line two.


That night, Lois lay in her bed, gazing at the ceiling. What had she gotten herself into? She'd taken vacations with men before. But it seemed somehow different with Clark. More daunting. More important. More exciting.

Was this merely a fun experience for two friends to have? Would it be Lois and Clark, best pals?

Or was it an experience for Lois and Clark, the couple? Where their edge was more pronounced, and the sexual undertones that lay between them clearer? Where every glance they exchanged ached with awareness of each other?

If it had been anyone but Clark, Lois would not have doubted that the weekend was more or less about sex. But, it *was* Clark, and so she was unsure of where she stood. Were they ready to take their relationship to the next level? Was *he* ready? Or was this really just a fun little trip?

She sighed and closed her eyes, but sleep would be hard won that night.


Friday Afternoon

Lois gazed out the window of the car, watching the scenery roll by. It couldn't take her mind off how excruciatingly aware she was of the intimacy of the car. Clark was so close to her she could almost… *almost* touch him, but not quite. She attempted to bridge the gap with conversation. "So, what's this cabin of yours like?"

"It's nice. Two bedrooms, kitchen, a parlor with a stone fireplace, patio with a hot tub. It's right on the lake, and it's got a beautiful view. No neighbors, either, not within about a mile. It's not crowded, even at this time of year."

"Sounds good. How do your parents afford the place anyway?"

"Oh, it belongs to Mom's friends. They only use it in the winter, though, so they let us come up here during the summer, do a little upkeep, and have a little vacation."

"That's nice of them."

"Yeah… They're great people, Kyle and Barbara. They're getting older, though, so I'm not sure how much longer they're going to want to spend their winters here. It's so beautiful with all the snow covering everything, but it's dangerous to be trapped here— snowed in. It has been known to happen, and they're getting a little old to deal with something like that, especially if the heat went out."

"Hm." Snowed in. That painted a pretty picture, didn't it? She could just imagine being trapped in a little cabin with Clark, the electricity out. They'd build a fire in the fireplace and cuddle in front of it to conserve body heat. And as the flame flickered before them, the orange glow dancing over their skin, he'd lean ever so slightly toward her, his lips parted slightly, an invitation…

"Lois? You still with me?"


"You spaced out a little. Wanna tell me what you were thinking about?"

"Uh, nothing," she said, blushing a little.

It was far from nothing, he could tell, as he looked at her expression. But he wasn't going to press it. "I was just saying that we're nearly there. Any time now, we should be seeing the driveway."

A minute passed. "Is that it up there?"

"Yup, that's it. Here we are," he said as they drove into the driveway of the beautiful vacation house.

They got out of the car and took their bags inside. Clark took their personal bags into the parlor and brought the bag with food into the kitchen. He unpacked quickly, putting the perishables into the refrigerator and the rest into the cupboards. Then he returned to Lois, who was sitting on the loveseat in front of the fireplace. She smiled at him and patted the spot next to her.

She was immediately glad for the huge fluffy pillows at the sides of the loveseat that forced him to be close to her. She moved over just a little so that she was touching him, and leaned her head on his shoulder. His arm automatically went around her, and she snuggled in comfortably.

"Mmm. Comfortable," she commented.

Clark was unsure of whether she was referring to him or to the couch. "Yeah," he agreed, and Lois smiled at his throaty, sexy voice in her ear. It gave her a little thrill of pleasure, and she cuddled in even closer. She closed her eyes for a few minutes, sitting there enjoying being allowed to touch Clark.

"We'd better start unpacking," Clark suggested reluctantly.

She moaned softly as he attempted to get up. "This is too nice. You sure we have to get up?"

"Come on, we can light a fire tonight and come back here, okay?"


Clark picked up his bag and both of Lois', then led her down a hall and into a good-sized room. "This is the master bedroom." As if it needed introduction. The room was all decorated in maroon, cream, and black, from the walls to the bed. All of the furniture was a deep mahogany.

Lois sighed as she looked around the room, realizing that she and Clark had yet to discuss something important. "Clark?"


"I'm not too clear on exactly what we're doing here."

"What do you mean?"

Subtlety was wasted on Clark Kent. She closed her eyes briefly. "I guess what I'm trying to say is… Are you… are *we* sleeping here?" The tension in the room was immediately palpable. "I mean, it's something we've never…"

"Talked about."

"To say the least."

Clark exhaled slowly, running a nervous hand through his hair. "To be honest, Lois, I'm sort of… Let's sit down."

Lois obliged, perching on the edge of the bed. Clark looked at her for a minute, and decided to sit in a nearby easy chair. He wasn't sure he wanted to be on the bed with Lois for this discussion.

"So…" she began.

"So…" He took a deep breath. "I… well, frankly, I just… don't know. I suppose I intended to follow your lead…"

She smiled a little, albeit nervously. "That was my plan… we'll never get anywhere waiting for the other person to start. Look how long it took us to start dating."

"Yeah… I'm just… at a loss here. How do you feel about it?"

"I feel… Well, part of me's scared. It's a big step… I know it's no secret that my past relationships haven't worked out so well… it tends to make me nervous about this sort of thing.

"And part of me wants it." She looked away from him, staring vacantly into the rug. "So very much…" She bit her lower lip. It had been such a long time since she'd had a man's hands on her body that she could barely remember the feelings. Clark had awakened sensations that she'd tried hard to keep buried, and her body was inwardly screaming for him, for his touch.

He was silent for a moment, processing this information. "I understand how you feel. I'm… a little scared myself." He looked away with a humorless laugh. "Terrified, actually. I just don't want to… disappoint you."

"Oh, Clark," she said, meeting his eyes once again. "Whatever we do will be a mutual decision. If we decide we're not ready, I'm not going to be disappointed, because we *both* came to that conclusion."

"That's not exactly what I meant. I meant… Whenever the time comes, it can't… it *can't* be just about sex. Because if it is… I'm afraid I'm not going to be able to satisfy you."

She reached out and laid a hand on his shoulder. "Clark, I'm sure…"

"Are you?" he interrupted, looking at her. "Do you honestly have any idea?"

She was silent. It was a question she'd never even considered. She'd always assumed… after all, he was considerate, gorgeous… Were his fears unfounded? Was this something from *his* past? "Why… what makes you think that, Clark? Some woman who said you moved too fast, touched her too roughly?"

"Simple biology," he explained. A confused expression crossed her face, and he sighed. "Lois, this isn't easy for me to say… but I don't exactly have… a lot of experience."

"Well, that's okay, Clark. I'm no expert myse—"

"No," he interrupted her. "I mean… I don't have *any* experience."

Lois' sharp intake of breath betrayed her surprise. "Oh my God," she whispered.

He smiled grimly. "Exactly. Face it, Lois, if it's a lover you want, I'm not a good choice. It *has* to be more than that. If it isn't… well… I'm sorry to disappoint you."


"I don't want to talk about this anymore," he replied. "I'm going swimming." He didn't invite her to join him, knowing that she would if she really wanted to. Instead, he grabbed his bag from the floor and walked toward the other bedroom. He changed quickly into his bathing suit and left the house.

Lois was left still sitting on the bed. As she heard the door shut, she lay back and closed her eyes. This wasn't happening. She was going to just wake up and be back in Metropolis, and none of this would have been true.

But when she opened her eyes, they were still focused on the cream- colored ceiling. It was all real. God, how had she gotten into this mess? But, more importantly, what was she going to do about it?

He'd challenged her, there was no doubt about that. He'd basically said that if she was stringing him along, she'd better bail now, because it wasn't going to be worth it. But if she loved him, he was hers.

Of course, she *loved* him! How could he ever doubt that? But, after she reconsidered the question, she guessed she could understand how he could feel that way. He was insecure about this— monumentally insecure. Because of this… it wasn't going to be about sex, not to the same extent that it could have been. It was all more serious, more important. It was a step that he'd never taken… a really serious commitment. If he gave himself to her, mind and body, finally lost that piece of himself that had managed to stay intact all these years… He needed her. Trusted her. Loved her. Valued her enough to treat her as something different.

Something special.

She got up and opened a suitcase, looking for her bathing suit.


Clark was floating on his back in the middle of the small lake, the invigorating summer sun beating down on his naked chest. He hadn't seen Lois come out of the cabin, and he wasn't surprised. He'd thrown her a serious curve— it had probably upset her.

Not to mention that he'd come close to accusing her of only wanting him for his body. That he'd challenged her to prove that her love was just that— love— and not something else. As if he didn't trust her. As if he didn't know her well enough to *know* that she wouldn't use someone, especially him, like that.

Besides that, even if she *did* love him, which he was relatively certain she did, she might not like the idea of him being so… inexperienced. He wouldn't be surprised if she was disgusted and annoyed by the idea. She wanted a mature, competent man, and wasn't likely to be appeased with a boy. But, they could deal with that. He had enough natural advantages to the human male that he wouldn't be at a *total* loss, although that meant they'd have to actually deal with his differences, something Clark was not looking forward to.

The conversation still wasn't over, and he cursed himself for running from it. He just couldn't bear to sit there and see the shock on Lois' face. It had been the last thing she'd expected to hear, undoubtedly.

And so, he was surprised when he heard the slam of the cabin door, followed by the slight splashing of an experienced swimmer. He looked over, and, sure enough, it was Lois. She reached him in a few minutes, and he just stared at her, unbelieving that she still wanted to be near him.

"Hey," she said softly. "You can't escape me that easily."

"I'm sorry," he said immediately, although he wasn't sure whether he was apologizing for his virginity, for the fact that he'd run from her, or for the fact that he'd doubted her love.

"Don't be."

"I have to be— it's who I am."

She tread water for a few minutes, wondering what she should say next. "Clark, I want you to know… it doesn't bother me. In fact, if all you have to bring to our sex life is the fact that I'm your only lover, that's a hell of a lot more than I've ever been offered. To know that you *waited* for me… for *us*… it's amazing."


"Clark… To know that I'm the only one, that I'm not competing against any memories, any past loves… To know that I have you in a way no one else has ever had… I guess it's selfish. No, I *know* it's selfish. It's how I used to want it to be with Superman. I wanted the stories, I wanted his friendship, I wanted his love. I wanted it to be exclusive. I thought, of all people, he would be the one who was able to give me that.

"And then… Lex. *There* was something exclusive… although not quite as much so as I once thought. Part of me just wanted to walk down the street and have people whisper behind my back— 'That's *Mrs. Luthor*!'

"I don't want you to think I'm comparing you to Superman and Lex, or to think I'm so shallow that that's all I want in a relationship. It's just something I've always wanted to be a *part* of whatever relationship I end up in. I need to feel loved… wanted… special.

"Pretty undemanding, huh? All I want in a relationship is to be the center of everything, to be the *most* important, even if it's just in one way. You think *you're* complicating our relationship? You're not the one bringing psychological baggage from years of being belittled by your father and used by your lovers. You have *nothing* to be sorry for."

Clark was silent for a moment, just looking at her. He couldn't believe this— she'd taken his problem and turned it into the resolution of one of her own problems. Perhaps two wrongs didn't usually make a right, but in this case, they certainly did, like jagged edges on each of two halves of a broken plate, fitting together perfectly to form one whole piece. Together, they were no longer broken. "God, Lois, you have no idea how much I love you." He traced a line down her jaw with one finger, his touch soft and tender. His lips followed as he lightly touched them to her own.

"Oh, I think I know," she returned softly. "Come on, let's get out of the water before we both lose our concentration and drown."

He smiled brilliantly at her and immediately began to race for the shore. Lois was close at his heels, and the couple swam as fast as they could until they reached the point at which the water was too shallow to swim in. Clark smoothly lifted Lois into his arms and carried her the rest of the way back to the patio, setting her down there.

"Hmmm, better," she commented as he wrapped her in a huge, tight hug. She pulled his head down to hers and brushed his lips again, teasing him into the harder kiss they both knew she wanted. Sighing, she locked her arms around his neck and pushed her swimsuit-clad body up against his.

He groaned into her mouth. "Lois… Are we…?"

She pulled back for a second. "Are you okay with this now?"

He recaptured her, and laughed around a mouthful of her lower lip.

"Clark… I want…"


"I want to… oh, God, you're good at that… I want to take a shower and rinse this lake goo off…"

He moved back to look at her. "Is that…?"

"An invitation? Yeah, I guess. I just want to be at least clean our first time."


Clark Kent thought he was going to die, faced with full frontal Lois. If he did, however, it was one hell of a way to go. He was standing in a shower, naked, with the woman of his dreams. And she was *touching* him. Her hands trailed soap across his shoulders, arms, chest, stomach…

She carefully avoided the more sensitive parts of his anatomy, out of respect for his delicate control, and because of the fact that she *was* trying to get them both cleaned and more or less dry.

She sighed as he gently ran his hands over her body, washing away the grime from the lake with the gentlest touch she'd ever experienced. She was glad she'd suggested it— this was heaven. Not to mention the obvious benefit that she wouldn't have seaweed clinging to her skin when they *did* get past this foreplay.

She turned off the water and stepped out, grabbing two fluffy towels. They must have set a new world record for the time it took them to go from sopping wet to clean and dry, but neither of them bothered to record it— their tingling bodies took priority, and Guinness was just going to have to wait.

They stepped out, into the maroon, cream, and black room, and exchanged a glance.

"This is it," Clark whispered.

"I love you, Clark," Lois replied.

"And I love you, Lois." He took her hand and pressed his lips against her slender fingers.

This is how a summer can last a lifetime, when words can speak volumes, and when touches can brush the soul.


Again, feedback is *extremely* welcome at Kirshnera@aol.com