Camping Nightmare

By Jewels <>

Rated PG

Submitted February 1999

Summary: Lois and Clark, proud parents of twins, go camping. Nothing is ever as simple as it sounds with our favourite twosome, especially with Kryptonite around. Can Lois save the day?


"Lois, are you packed as much as you can get for the camping trip tomorrow?" Clark asked zipping up his suitcase.

"Yeah," Lois answered. "Tomorrow, I'll have to add a few things, then we can both get all of Jordan and Brian's things together."

Jordan and Brian were Lois and Clark's six-and-a-half month old identical twin sons. They were taking them on the Daily Planet annual camp-out. They had had some doubts, but Perry insisted on taking the twins, and Clark's parents assured them they would be all right with their parents there.

"Clark, are we sure that the twins will be OK?" Lois asked for the millionth time.

Clark wrapped his arms around Lois. "Lois, we can't be totally certain that they won't get ant bites, or bee stings, but we'll be there for them. You and I would never let anything happen to our sons. You know that you would put yourself in front of them if they were in danger, and if something so big happens that Superman is needed, then Superman will be there in a millisecond, I promise."

"I know," Lois said. "They've just never really been away from home and I'm afraid that we'll forget something important."

"That's where Superman comes in handy," Clark said. "Now, aren't you glad you married Superman? It has it's advantages."

"In more ways than one," Lois said kissing him. "We went without children for what seemed like forever, and then we were blessed with two beautiful twin boys."

"I couldn't have said it better myself," Clark said.

The twins started crying from where they were laying in their playpen.

"Speaking of our two beautiful twins," Clark said.

Lois walked out to the living room and picked up Brian while Clark picked up Jordan.

"What's wrong with my babies?" Lois asked.

"Well, I know what's wrong with one of them," Clark said holding Jordan a little away from him. "He needs changing."

"Clark, don't hold him like that," Lois said laughing.

"I won't after I go change him really quick," Clark said. He carried him upstairs to the nursery. Lois followed him.

"I really hope that we have enough room in our car for all of the twins' stuff," Lois said.

"If we don't, I'll make a special flight back to Metropolis for it," Clark told her as he changed Jordan's diaper. "Now you smell nice and fresh again." Clark picked up Jordan and gave him a little kiss. Then he tossed him up in the air. The baby cooed and laughed with delight.

"Clark, you'll ruin his appetite," Lois told him.

"Remember that, Jordan," Clark said bringing the baby close to him again. "It's always Mommy that just sucks the fun out of life. And to think, I gave up being single for her. And then she got pregnant, and we're not even gonna go there."

Lois slapped him on the shoulder.

"Ow," Clark said laughing.

"What was wrong with me when I was pregnant?" Lois asked.

"Oh nothing, if you like being yelled at every minute of the day," Clark teased her.

"I'm never talking to you again," Lois said.

"I'd rather not talk to you," Clark said shifting his baby to one arm and bringing Lois close as he kissed her. "That's much better."

"I agree," Lois said. Both babies started crying. "What a surprise. Our wonderful boys have ruined our romantic moment."

"Yeah, but I don't really mind," Clark said cradling Jordan in his arms. "I'm just glad we have children."

"I don't mind it either," Lois said. "I love my boys, all three of them."


The next morning, Lois and Clark got up 8:30 and got ready to go. They finished doing all of their packing, then got more than plenty of clothes for a nice four-day weekend for the twins. Clark sped around and got every toy that he knew the twins would want and their playpen and several blankets. Lois hunted out two packages of diapers and loaded a box full of baby food, bottles and spoons and they took a small ice chest with two and a half gallons of milk in it. Then Lois packed their diaper bags full of stuff including a burp rag, passifiers, and everything else she found. At last, they woke up Jordan and Brian. They fed them, changed their diaperS and their clothes and started packing up the car. When they finally crammed everything in the back of their car, they loaded the twins up, eventually got in the car themselves, and left.

At noon, they made it down to the campsite. They were greeted by Perry.

"What took you so long?" he asked.

"Perry, we had to pack every baby accessery we had," Lois said. "That's not exactly a two second job."

Perry walked off and Lois and Clark unloaded Brian and Jordan and all of their stuff. As soon as everything was put away, there was a knock on their cabin door.

"I'll get it," Clark said opening the door. Jimmy was standing there.

"Hey guys," Jimmy said walking in. "Did you get down here OK?"

"Yeah, we had a pretty nice trip," Lois said. "I have the feeling that you didn't come down here just to chat, did you?"

"No, I have a favor to ask you," Jimmy said. "I brought my girlfriend, Tara, down here and she loves babies. I was wondering if maybe you could let me carry one down there and let her see him or them. You could come down there too, of course. I personally don't feel very comfortable with babies and I'd probably end up doing something destructive, but it would really help me out."

"Yes, Jimmy, you can carry one of our twins down to the camp-site," Lois said.

The cabins were located on the campgrounds, but each cabin was around seventy-five feet away from where the actual camp-site was with the place for campfire, and it was also where everybody set up lawn chairs and just played and watched the little kids play in the sand.

"Thanks guys," Jimmy said. "Which one should I take down there?"

"Well, Jordan is the less squirmy and he's the one that most likes to be held, even by people that aren't his parents," Lois said.

"OK, that's going to be the best one for me," Jimmy said. He picked up Jordan. "I'll meet you guys down there."

"We'll be right behind you," Clark told him. Jimmy left and Clark picked up Brian and they headed out of their cabin. They had a key, but they decided to leave the cabin unlocked. It would be a waste of time, because the only people there were from the Daily Planet, and they trusted all of those people. They got down to the campsite and saw Jimmy's girlfriend cradling Jordan and cooing at him.

"I think we're going to have trouble getting Jordan out of Tara's hands."

"I know," Lois said. "It's kind of making me nervous."

"Lois, don't worry about it, she just loves babies, and she's not hurting him," Clark told her.

"She just doesn't look right," Lois said. They sat down by Perry and he held Brian. Lois kept glancing over at Tara. Clark caught her doing that.

"Lois, would you stop," he whispered in her ear. "She's not doing anything wrong."

"Clark, it's a mother's intuition, OK?" she told him. "Something's not right here."

About five minutes later, Jordan started crying and Lois stared at Tara. She walked over to her.

"He probably needs to be changed or fed," she said holding out her arms.

"Yeah, that's what I was thinking," Tara said handing Jordan to Lois.

"Go to Mommy, sweetie. Lois, your baby is adorable."

"Thank you," Lois said taking the baby, a little shocked. She carried Jordan over to where Clark was standing with Brian, who was also crying.

"You know Lois, I think you're right about her, I almost thought she wouldn't give Jordan back," Clark said sarcastically.

"Shut up Clark," Lois said. "I don't want to even hear about it."

"I just want you to see how silly you were being," Clark told her.

They walked back to the cabin.

"Clark, does the door look open a little bit to you?" Lois asked examining the door.

"No Lois, stop worrying," Clark told her. "But we have two crying babies that I would like to take care of, so that they will stop crying."

They changed the babies diapers and fed them. After the babies were fed, Lois and Clark put the twins to bed and Lois and Clark each ate a banana and sat on the couch.

"So far, this day has been exhausting," Lois said.

"It sure has been," Clark agreed. "Even I'm getting a little bit tired. I guess that if we need to, we can always ask someone to watch them while we sleep. Plenty of people would jump at the chance to do it."

"Isn't that the truth?" Lois said. About two hours later, the twins woke up. They went into the room where the twins were sleeping and picked one up. When Lois looked at Brian closer, she could tell he looked pale.

"Clark, does he look pale to you?" Lois asked.

Clark walked over to him. "Yeah, he does. I think Jordan does too."

Clark put his hand on Jordan's forehead. "He feels kind of warm, too."

Lois placed her hand on Brian's forehead. "So does Brian. Clark, what do we do? We've never had sick kids before."

"Calm down, Lois, we're good parents," Clark said. "Let's take their temperature." Clark handed Jordan over to Lois and she sat with them on the couch. Clark brought out the thermometer and slid it under Jordan's arm.

"It's OK sweetie, Daddy's just taking your temperature," Lois said soothingly, kissing Jordan's head.

"It's 100 degrees," Clark said. He cleaned it and then took Brian's temperature. "It's 100 degrees, too."

"Clark, that's too high for a little baby," Lois said.

"Lois, we know what to do," Clark said. "I'll call the doctor."

"I'll take the baby," Lois said putting Jordan in her other arm. Clark called the doctor.

"Hi Dr. Carter, this is Clark Kent, I'm Jordan and Brian Kent's father. We're out of town and both of them have a 100 degree fever. What should Lois and I do?"

"Well, for right now, all they need is plenty of rest and any juice if you have some with you. Do they like being held?" the doctor asked.

"One of them likes being held more than the other, but if it's his parents, Brian loves it too," Clark said.

"Then hold them as much as possible," the doctor said. "It will help, and if they get worse, call me back."

"Thank you Dr. Carter," Clark said hanging up.

"What did he say?" Lois asked.

"Dr. Carter said that if we just held them and made them rest a lot, they should get better, and if they didn't to call him back," Clark said.

"OK," Lois said. "Should we fix them a bottle with some juice in it?"

"Probably," Clark said. "He said to give them juice."

"You hold them this time," Lois said. "I'll fix the juice."

"OK," Clark said. He took both twins and sat down in a rocking chair that was furnished in the cabin. He laid his head back. Lois brought the bottles over.

"OK, here we-" she stopped when she saw Clark. "Clark, what's wrong?"

"Oh nothing," Clark promised. "I just always get tired when I rock them."

"Are you sure?" Lois asked unsurely. "You don't look very good."

"Lois, you know that I can't get sick unless it's from Kryptonite," Clark assured her. "And there is no way that there is Kryptonite around. No one from the Daily Planet knows that I'm Superman except for you, and I don't think you would try to kill your husband and twin sons unless there's some sick secret that I don't know about you."

Lois laughed and kissed Clark. The boys started fussing louder.

"Oh, sorry," Lois said taking Brian from Clark's hands. She gave Clark a bottle and they fed the twins.

A few minutes later, there was a tap on their door. Lois stood up, trying not to disturb Brian who was falling asleep in her arms. It was Perry. He noticed that Lois had a sleeping twin in her arms.

"Hi Lois," he whispered trying not to disturb Brian. "I was sent down here because no one has seen you or Clark in a while. Anything wrong?"

"Yeah," Lois whispered. "The twins both caught a cold down here, they have a fever, and unfortunately, I don't think that you'll be seeing a lot of us. We might even have to leave if they get too bad."

"Oh," Perry whispered. "I'm sorry, and I hope they get better."

"Thanks," Lois said. Perry walked away and Lois quietly shut the door behind him. She came back and saw Clark holding Jordan, with sweat droplets on his forehead. She rushed over to him. "Clark, what's wrong?"

"Nothing," Clark said sounding breathless. "I'm fine."

"Clark, you are not fine," Lois told him. "I'm really worried about you, tell me what's wrong."

"Lois, truthfully, I don't know," he said. "This just came on."

"Let me put the twins back down," she said. "You just sit there and rest." She went and put Brian and Jordan back in their cribs. She hoped that them sleeping so long wouldn't keep them awake tonight. Then, Lois went back to Clark. "Tell me what about you doesn't feel good," she begged.

"I feel achey and sick," Clark said. "There's got to be Kryptonite around somewhere."

Lois could feel the tears welling in her eyes. "Clark, I don't know what to do. There can't be Kryptonite anywhere because we've been in the cabin the entire time except when we- when we took the twins down to see Jimmy's girlfriend. I knew she was bad. She did this."

"Lois, calm down," Clark said breathlessly. She was just holding the twins and I didn't come into contact with her."

"So, somebody snuck into our cabin while we were out and put Kryptonite in our cabin?" Lois asked.

"Worse," Clark said. "They put it in our food."

"What?" Lois asked confused. "How do you know?"

"Because if it was just in the cabin, I would be in pain. I'm sick, Lois, it's got to be inside me and when we got home, we fed the twins, and me and you ate a banana. Whoever did this, must have put Kryptonite in the baby food and in our food," Clark groaned. "We have to get in touch with Dr. Klein, and tell him… everything."

"Are you sure about this Clark?" Lois asked him.

"It's the only way to save the twins and me," Clark said. He made his way over to the couch to lay down while Lois called Dr. Klein. She couldn't get a hold of him by phone so she paged him. He called her back about five minutes later.

"This is Dr. Klein," he answered.

"Dr. Klein, this is Lois," she said.

"What's wrong Lois? You sound upset," he said. "Where are you calling from anyways? I don't recognize the phone number."

"Well, Dr. Klein, I need some help and you're going to have to sit down for this. See, Clark and I went on the annual camp-out with the twins. After we fed the twins, and Clark and I ate a banana, Clark and the twins got very sick. You see, Clark is Superman, so the twins got part Kryptonite blood," Lois said.

"Lois, I always had a feeling that Clark was Superman," Dr. Klein said. "I can help, but you'll have to do it all, I'm out of town and I guess you are too. By the time I reached you, it would be too late."

"Dr. Klein, tell me what to do, I'll do it," Lois said. She turned and looked at Clark who was looking paler than ever. Then she went to see how the twins were. They were sleeping, but they were feverish and sounded like they were having trouble breathing.

"Lois, the babies will be fine," Dr. Klein said. "They're young enough and only half-Kryptonian that if you just soak them in a warm bath, they will be just fine."

"That's great to hear," Lois said. "What about Clark?"

"That's going to be harder," Dr. Klein said. "Since there is Kryptonite in his system, the only way to burn it out is with Kryptonite."

"You mean like what happened when he was injected with that Kryptonian virus and almost died from being exposed from Kryptonite?" Lois asked recalling that horrible Christmas experience.

"That's right," Dr. Klein told her.

"But I don't have any Kryptonite," Lois said. "And what would it do to expose that to the babies?"

"It will only help them out as well," Dr. Klein said. "But don't expose them for longer than five minutes because that's how long it will take to get the Kryptonite poisoning out and after five minutes, it will start killing them. And don't forget about their warm bath. That will really calm them down, and help to steam out any more Kryptonite they have in their system."

"Well, how long does Clark have to be exposed to the Kryptonite?" Lois asked.

"About an hour," Dr. Klein said. "So after the twins are done, give them their warm bath, put them away from the Kryptonite and go take care of Clark. He'll be OK and he shouldn't slip into a coma like last time."

"But I still don't have any Kryptonite," Lois said. "What do I do?"

"It's on the way," Dr. Klein said. "As soon as you told me where you were and what you needed, I had a friend fly out in his private jet he owns. He'll stop by your house any second in his new and improved jet. That thing flies really fast. Everything will be OK Lois. I promise."

"Thanks Dr. Klein," Lois said hearing a jet noise. "He's here. I'll call you if I need any more help."

"OK," Dr. Klein said. The two hung up. Lois went over to where the twins were sleeping in their playpen out by Clark.

"It's OK boys," she whispered. "Mommy's going to take care of everything and you two and Daddy will be just fine." She could still hear her twins trying to breathe and that just broke her heart. Clark was the same way. "Honey," she said sitting on the edge of the couch and holding Clark's hand. "I called Dr. Klein." There was a knock on the door. "You and the twins will be just fine." Clark squeezed her hand and mumbled an I love you to her.

Lois opened the door and was handed a lead box. She took a quick peek inside and made sure that there was Kryptonite in there.

"Thanks," she told the man at the door. He left and Lois walked back to where her family was with her heart pounding.

"Are you ready for this Clark?"

"Yeah," he said. She sat the box on a nearby table and opened it.

"Ohhhh!" Clark screamed in pain. Lois ran to Clark and squeezed his hand.

"Honey, it's going to be OK," she soothed. "I know it hurts. I went through childbirth with twins, but this will help you." The twins started wailing.

"Go- take care of them," Clark choked out. "I'll be OK." Lois nodded, her eyes filled with tears. She went over and scooped up her boys.

"Mommy's here, it's OK."

Five minutes later, Lois put Jordan and Brian down on the floor of where she and Clark had been sleeping and moved their playpen back in there. She took a good look at them. They looked much better. The color was back in their faces, they were breathing just fine, and when they looked up at her, both of them smiled. Lois smiled back at them through her tears of knowing that Clark was in there by himself, suffering. Lois took them and placed them in a luke-warm bath to help get the rest of the Kryptonite out. About twenty minutes later, Lois took them out after she had bathed them. She dressed each of them and placed them in their playpen where they fell asleep immediately. Then Lois went to check on Clark, who was still hanging in there. She sat beside him on the couch and grasped his hand. He squeezed it.

"Hi Lois," he mumbled.

"Hi," she whispered giving him a kiss on the lips. "How are you?"

"I've been better," he told her. Lois was glad that in all of his pain, Clark still had a good sense of humor.

"You only have to last about half an hour longer," Lois promised him.

"How are the twins?" Clark asked.

"They're fine," Lois said. "They fell asleep. Dr. Klein said that would be normal. You're not going to slip into a coma, are you?"

"And miss all of the excitement that goes on in our household? No way," Clark told her. Lois smiled.

Half an hour later, Lois went and shut the Kryptonite up into its box and locked it.

"Thank you," Clark said gratefully.

"You should be just fine now," Lois said. "I'm going to go check on Brian and Jordan really quick."

"Bring them out here if they're awake," Clark said. "I want to see my boys."

"Do you have enough strength to hold one?" Lois asked.

"Yeah, I think so," Clark said slowly sitting up. "I'll just stay seated the entire time."

Lois brought the twins out to Clark. "They were sitting up in the playpen," she said. "They're probably hungry. Can you feed Jordan?"

"Yeah," Clark said. Lois heated up two bottles and gave one to Clark so that he could feed Jordan and she fed Brian. They were both sitting on the couch feeding their boys when a sudden noise distracted them. They both looked up to see somebody duck down from their window and dash around the back of their house.

"I'll be right back," Clark said standing up.

"Clark, no, you don't have any strength," Lois said. "Allow me. After all, I have a feeling that whoever that was, was the cause of hurting my entire family."

"OK," Clark said. Lois handed Brian to Clark and ran out the door. She saw a woman from the back running toward a cabin. Lois cut her off by cutting through the woods. Lois leapt on top of her. She rolled the woman over to see who it was. It was Jimmy's girlfriend, Tara.

"You!" Lois screamed. "Were you the one that poisoned my family?"

"No," Tara said.

"It was me," Dan Scardino said stepping out from behind a tree. "Tara here was the one to distract you two while I snuck in your cabin, and poisoned all of the food that was in there."

"Hey, Tara, what's going on?" Jimmy asked.

"Look, Jimmy, I have some bad news," Lois said. "Tara's not a good person. She poisoned the twins and Clark."

"What?" Jimmy asked confused. "Is that true"

"Jimmy, no never," Tara said innocently. Lois was keeping her eyes on Dan. He reached into his back pocket.

"Jimmy watch out, he's got a gun!" Lois screamed. Jimmy wrestled Dan to the ground and Superman suddenly flew in front of them.

"What's going on?" he asked.

"Superman, these people are bad," Jimmy said. "He poisoned Clark and the twins."

"Looks like these two need a nice trip to the police," Superman said.

"Lois, Clark wanted you to know that he was going to lay down for a nap so you might need to get back to your cabin."

"Thanks Superman," Lois said. "I better go."

Lois ran back to the cabin since the twins were alone. When Superman returned, he spun into Clark and flopped back on the couch.

"Hey," Lois said carrying the twins out to him. Clark took one from her. "Are you OK? I'm surprised that you could even fly after having Kryptonite in your system and then being exposed to it for an hour."

"Well, I have to admit, it was hard, but it was worth it," Clark said.

"I had to put those two behind bars. They hurt my sons."

"They hurt my sons and my husband," Lois said.

"I love you," Clark said.

"I love you too," Lois told him. The twins made a noise and Lois and Clark looked down at them. Brian and Jordan were both smiling up at their parents.

"Now we can be one big happy family again," Clark said.

"One big happy family," Lois repeated as she and Clark kissed.


*Comments are welcome! E-mail me at*