By Robert Culpepper <rculpepp@toast.net>
Rated: PG
Submitted April 6, 1998
Summary: Clark, unable to live without Lois, takes matters into his own hands. Or so Lois thinks …
Well, this is my second L&C fanfic, and it's considerably shorter than the first. This one is basically a total WAFF, although it starts out with a REAL BIG WHAM. As always, all characters are property of DC comics, ABC, etc …
comments? rculpepp@toast.net
***
Lois could not remember ever being happier. She vaguely remembered a time in her life when she was alone and liked it. That had been a long time ago, though. Even before she had met Clark, she had suppressed the need for companionship. She had redirected that need for companionship into a need for work. Stories, scandals — bring 'em on, and 'Mad Dog' Lane would take 'em. Now she had Clark, and somehow that was all that was really important to her. As she lay in bed, she felt totally at peace. This was bliss. She looked over to see her husband, but he wasn't there.
This was strange. She had become so attuned to him that she normally felt him leave. His slightest movements she felt, even when he floated. In a daze she got up, put on her robe and went into the living room. Her happiness of minutes before now crashed down around her. The room was in a mess. The first thing she noticed was their wedding picture. It was lying on the table, and Clark had been cut out of it. She quickly scanned the rest of the room. Every picture with her and Clark in it had been mutilated. In every picture, Clark had been cut out. Her head swam. What was happening? She looked at the dining room table, and saw a suitcase. More specifically it was Clark's suitcase, and it was packed.
She felt Clark move into the room from the den. She turned to face him, and saw him dressed in jeans and a black T-shirt. His face looked as if he'd lost the most important thing in the world, and Lois knew she was that to him. "What is this?!?" Lois pleaded as Clark stood with a blank expression on his face. "What's going on here?"
Clark just began talking. Showing little emotion, almost as if it had all been sucked out of him. "I hoped this would work between us, Lois. I really had. You've meant so much to me, and I'm just sorry it all had to end like this."
"NO CLARK!!" was all Lois could scream. It didn't do any good though as Clark kept talking.
"I should have known you could never love me for who I was, and that eventually you would get tired of me and miss your life like it used to be." Lois was now on her knees, in tears pleading with him to stop. "I've shared myself with you like I never could anyone else, and that's why this hurts so much. I know you've told me to leave, to get out of your life and to just go away and never look at you again, but I can't!"
Lois could feel her heart breaking into a million pieces. "I never told you to leave, Clark!! I love you!!! Please don't leave me!!"
"I just can't leave you like this, Lois." Clark kept talking. "I just can't go on without you." From behind his back, Clark pulled out a handgun and opened the chamber. Lois's eyes, which were filled with tears were now also filled with terror. Clark then opened a small box he was holding in the other hand and revealed a bullet which glowed Kryptonite green. Slowly, he put the round in the chamber, but Lois couldn't move to stop him. "The only way to end this pain in my heart, Lois, is to remove my heart." He aimed the gun at his chest, visibly being weakend every second by the Kryptonite. "I hope the two of you will be happy together," were his final words before he pulled the trigger and shot himself. He collapsed to the floor. Soon Lois was by his side cradling him in her arms, pleading with him not to leave her. "I love you, Lois," were his last words as he died.
"It's about time," a familiar voice said as Clark died. Lois looked up only to see herself, as she had been years ago before she had met Clark and fell in love with him. This version of her held scissors in her right hand. "Now, maybe we can get on with building our career," the other Lois said as she began to walk away. "I told you, 'don't fall for me, farmboy'."
Lois began to scream and cry all at the same time.
Clark was immediately holding her. He had known she was having a bad dream, and had been watching her as she slept on the couch. She was crying out for him in her sleep. Clark tried desperately to wake her. "Lois! Wake up!! I'm here. You're all right."
Lois awoke with a start, and then looked into Clark's face and recoiled as if she were looking at a ghost. Then it all suddenly hit her and she fell into his arms, holding him tighter than he could ever remember. "You're alive!" was all she could keep saying for minutes.
Clark held her tight and soothed her as best he could. Something had obviously happened in her dream, but he didn't want to ask her now. He was content enough to hold his wife, caress her hair and just tell her how much he loved her. "I'm not going anywhere, honey. I'm right here."
A few minutes later, Lois was more calm, but still shaken. Clark had rarely seen her so affected by a dream, at least in this way. He fixed her some tea and then came to sit beside her on the couch. "Drink this," he suggested offering her the cup. She took it willingly and began to sip. "I guess you won't eat Double Fudge Crunch, a pint of chocolate ice cream and a fudge sundae and then take a nap in the middle of the afternoon again." Clark tried to tease her, but she just cuddled closer to him. "What happened in your dream that was bad enough to hurt you like this?" Clark wasn't sure he wanted to know the answer, but he knew Lois needed to talk about it and clear her mind. As he settled in beside her, he gently stroked her cheek with his hand as he so often did.
Lois cuddled closer to Clark and just held the tea for a moment. She knew she had to tell him, she had to tell someone about her horrible nightmare and the only person she would ever tell was the man she shared all of her secrets with: her husband, Clark Kent. "I was dreaming." She put down the tea and held Clark closely as she went ahead with the story. "I had woke up in bed, and you weren't there. So I went out to the living room and I saw all of our pictures had you cut out of them. I looked at the table, and your suitcase was packed, then you came out of the den with a gun and a Kryptonite bullet. You said I had told you to leave, but I tried to tell you I hadn't but you wouldn't listen to me so you put the bullet in the gun and said you couldn't live without me so you shot yourself in the chest and died in my arms!!" Clark soothed her and held her close as she told him. "I'm babbling again, right?" Clark only nodded and continued to stroke her soft dark hair. "You had said that you hoped the two of us would be happy, and after you died I looked up and there I was!! Just like I had been before I met you. She had the scissors in her hands, and all she could talk about was getting OUR career back on track!! Then she said 'I told you don't fall for me farmboy' and then I started screaming!"
Lois was crying again. "Well, you're dream was right about one thing." Lois looked up into Clark's eyes with what he could only describe as total fear. "I could never live without you. I don't own a gun or a Kryptonite bullet, though." He gently turned her face so that she was looking him straight in the eyes. "Lois, there is something you know, that you need to remember… I am yours forever." He kissed her gently at first and then drew her closer to him. "It was a nightmare. Nothing more. If you'd like though, I'll get all of the scissors out of the house. It will take only a second." Clark smiled briefly, hoping teasing her would bring her back around.
Lois wacked him on the chest. "It's not funny! I felt like I'd lost you and it was all my fault." She started to cry again. "I love you, Clark. More than life itself. More than anyone I can ever remember. I'm not sure I could live without YOU." She paused, collected herself and stopped crying. Clark wiped away the tears with his fingers and then kissed her forehead. She continued to hold on to Clark like he was a buoy in the ocean. "My life before you was nothing. Stories and headlines. But that wasn't a life. I had fish. I came home to fish, which aren't bad, but it's nothing like coming home to you. My worst fear is that I'll drive you away one day, and I know I couldn't go on living without you. I had given up on ever truly falling in love. Then I met you, and it was so easy to fall in love with you. I still don't know why I fought my feelings for you for so long. Sometimes I find it hard to believe that you're still here after everything I put you through."
"Lois," Clark said in his sweetest, gentlest voice. "I will never leave you. You will never drive me away. For you, I'd move the planets, and keep in mind I just might be able to do that with the right incentive. I love you for who you are. Everything. I fell in love with the reporter who would grab a story and not let go. I fell in love with the woman who so seldom let her guard down, that few people saw the person waiting to be loved underneath. I'm lucky because that person chose to love ME." He held her for what seemed like hours. They watched the sun start to drop down in the sky. "You know, I can't think of many better ways to spend a Sunday afternoon than holding my beautiful wife close and watching a lovely sunset." He kissed her forehead lovingly. "Feeling better?"
Lois nodded. "I've never been so terrified of a nightmare before. Not even the ones I had before we got engaged. It just felt so real. I felt as if I had lost you forever." She looked into his eyes and her lips met his. They kissed for a moment, and then Clark relented as Lois pulled away. Clark sighed and closed his eyes as he smiled. She was teasing him again. That meant she was feeling better. He kept holding her hand as he opened his eyes to see Lois looking right at him. "I have an idea. Since we missed the whole afternoon because I had to take a nap and then have that nightmare, why don't we enjoy a nice, romantic evening stroll around Centennial Park?"
"Mrs. Kent, you are a genius!" Clark smiled as he let go of Lois's hand. Soon they had gathered their light coats and had left the townhouse for the park, which was only a short walk away.
They walked through the park, which was almost deserted. Twilight was coming, and the Metropolis night-life had come to life elsewhere. But for Clark and Lois, being together was the only activity they really desired. They walked and walked, and as they always did, talk and talk. Their walks had started out mainly talking about the paper, but now their talks were centered on the future. More specifically their future together. After a while, the sunlight was gone, and the night had come. They now sat on a bench by an oak tree, their favorite place in the park. "Look up there," Lois said pointing to the first star of the evening. "It looks so lonely." Clark could hear the sadness in her voice. "Have you ever wished on a star, Clark?"
Clark looked at the star just appreciating its beauty. "When I was a kid back in Kansas, I wished on the first star almost every night. Most of the times I just wished to be a normal kid. I kind of stopped when I grew up. I thought it was silly to wish on a point of light billions of light years away." Clark thought for a minute and then added, "But you know me… That really didn't stop me. I've made some wishes as an adult. How about you?" Lois just smiled and nodded slightly.
Lois looked up at the star. "Starlight, starbright. First star I see tonight. I wish I may, I wish I might, have the wish I wish tonight." Lois remained quiet for a minute. "I just made my wish… make yours." Lois looked to Clark with a smile that could melt him where he stood, a smile filled with more love than Clark had ever hoped for in his life.
Clark looked up and knew what to wish for. "Starlight, starbright. First star I see tonight. I wish I may, I wish I might, have the wish I wish tonight." He quietly made his wish. "Done," he said as he looked back at Lois and smiled warmly as he held her.
Lois cuddled against Clark and then started to talk. "As a kid, I wished on the first star of the evening every night. When my parents divorced, I wished for them to get back together. It never happened, of course, and I just stopped wishing. I thought it had no power to it." Lois held Clark's hand and felt his pulse race a might. It was nice to know that even after being married, she could still have this effect on him. She smiled. "It wasn't until about four years ago that I made another wish. One night, I was out here in this park, just collecting my thoughts. I saw all of the happy couples going by and I suddenly felt so very alone. I looked up, and there was that lonely little star and I somehow felt connected with it." Clark brushed away a stray tear that Lois had allowed to slip by. He was constantly amazed at the level of caring and compassion she was capable of. He knew of only two other people who could love as much as Lois, and they were his parents. "So, I made a wish," Lois continued. "I wished that I could find someone that would love me for who I was, and that I could love back. Someone who would be my partner in all things, my best friend and maybe my lover." She looked up into Clark's eyes. "The next day Superman arrived." She saw the look on Clark's face. It was an expression somewhere between resignation and regret with a little surprise mixed in.
She reached up and caressed his face lovingly with her hand. The touch conveyed more than word could say, and Clark smiled as she continued. "That didn't seem right though. I mean, I loved him, but I never felt as if my wish had come true. It took me almost a year to realize that my wish had come true. It had come true when Clark Kent came into the Daily Planet and into my life. You were my partner when I didn't want one. You were my best friend when I thought I didn't need one, and you loved me unconditionally when I was still trying to figure out how I felt about you. Now, you're my lover too, Clark, and all of my wishes have been granted. All I asked for tonight was to share your life, your love, and to never be alone again."
Clark felt a tear run down his cheek as he held the most precious thing in the world to him. It was amazing what Lois had just told him. The love he felt for her welled up in his heart. He thought about what he was about to tell her, and even he couldn't believe it. It shouldn't be a surprise though. They were soul mates, after all. "The night before I came to the Daily Planet, I walked on the other side of this park and watched all of the happy people who had others to share their lives with them. I felt totally out of place. I had always been alone except for my parents. I looked up and I saw one little star, all by itself. I suddenly felt that I was linked with that one point of light in a way I couldn't understand." Lois was looking at him with the greatest warmth any person could. She held his hand to her face and kissed it gently. "So, I made a wish. I wished that one day I could find someone who would love me for who I was as a person and who would be my best friend, my partner and perhaps even my lover. Someone I could share myself and my secret with. When I walked into the Daily Planet the next day, I saw you, but I knew that you couldn't be the answer to my wish because you hardly knew I existed. As time went on though, we became partners, and you became my best friend. I realized that my wish had come true that first day at the Planet. When I shared my secret with you, and you loved me for who I was, not what I could do, I felt you had given me the greatest thing in the universe, someone to love. Now, you're my lover Lois, and all of my wishes have been granted beyond what I thought possible. All I asked for tonight, was to share your life, your love and to never be alone again."
Lois took Clark's face in her hands and he held her close by the waist. "You will never be alone again, Clark." She kissed him as tears of joy trailed down her cheeks.
As their lips separated, Clark held her tight and whispered in her ear, "You will never be alone again, Lois. Ever." Clark held her and kissed her for a moment or two. When they finally came back up for air, they looked skyward again.
The one little star was now joined by other stars. First one, then two then constellations. The points of light seemed to twinkle with contentment, each point of light seeming to know it's place in the grand scheme of things. As for Lois and Clark, they knew their place, and that was together. "Our little star isn't alone anymore," Lois said as she enjoyed looking at the stars, in the arms of her husband.
"Neither are we," Clark said as his eyes returned to watch the stars.
… no end in sight…
THE END