By Paul-Gabriel Wiener <>

Rated G

Submitted November 20, 1997

Summary: Are you covered in the event of a "Super"natural disaster?

Here's an idea I came up with for something that might exist in Metropolis. It doesn't really fit into any of my current stories, so I thought I'd do it as a stand-alone scene.

Superman is copyrighted by … whoever it is now. The name of the company was created by CarTalk, a radio talk show.

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The picture on the television screen showed footage of one of Superman's recent battles. Some unidentifiable monster was duking it out with the Man of Steel in the middle of the street. Suddenly, a voice came on. It was one of those generic-sounding voices that you'd hear on an infomercial.

"Would your car's collision insurance cover THIS??" The monster was already reaching for a nearby parked car. It picked it up, and threw the car at Superman. The Metropolis Marvel easily dodged, but the car flew on past, crashing into another parked car on the opposite side of the street.

The scene changed, and the voice came back on. "Would your security deposit take care of THIS??" This time, the footage was of Superman being thrown through an apartment building.

"Does your homeowner's insurance have a clause for THIS??" The screen now showed a deranged supervillain laying about a suburban neighborhood with some strange energy weapon.

The screen continued to show various scenes of destruction. "Most people don't realize that they aren't covered until it's too late. Don't be a statistic. You can't predict when something like THIS will happen to you, but you need to be ready. What you need is supervillain insurance! The insurance company of Dewy, Cheatum, and Howe provides cheap, comprehensive coverage for any event of supernatural destruction. Call 1-888-SUPER-1S NOW!"