By Norman Mayes <budmayes@aol.com>
Rated PG
Submitted February 17, 1998
Summary: A newlywed Lois awakens to the sounds of a menace which could destroy her new found happiness, and has to fight not only Clark, but herself.
***
Lois awoke from a deep sleep with a vague sense of something being wrong. Something that carried memories of anger, danger and hurt. She struggled to clear her sleep- fogged thoughts and to determine what was happening.
Abruptly, she realized that there was someone in bed with her, spooned against her back, arms around her middle, and a warm breath sighing against the back of her neck. Lois began to panic. She braced herself to bolt out of the bed and grab the nearest thing at hand to attack with.
Then sweet memories of the past few hours came flooding back to her and she sagged back in relief into the embrace of her new husband. *My husband!* she thought. *My Husband.* She smiled with delight. *At last! We worked so very hard to get to this point. So very hard. And waited so very long for this night. But it was worth it. Oooohhhh! Was it ever!* After the past few hours, she was now more aware than ever before of what a 'super' man he was.
She thought back to the time she first saw him in that costume and wondered how she could ever have picked a more apt name for him. Other names had been added by the press, Man of Steel, Man of Tomorrow, Hero, Champion of Justice. All of them true, though they didn't say enough. Not about the 'man' inside the suit. He was a true gentleman, a man of compassion, a man who cared, a man who used the powers of a god to help anyone in need, who sacrificed of himself unstintingly.
Sometimes more than she would like. Sometimes she was jealous of the whole world. But not tonight. Tonight he had been all hers and what a night it had been. She blushed, thinking about it. They had been afire with love and a pent-up passion that had seemed to be unquenchable. But, finally quench it they had in exhaustion. She was secretly proud and amazed at herself, that 'she' had been able to put 'him' into such a state of blazing need and to satisfy him as well. 'She' had tired 'him' out. She smiled happily and snuggled back against his warm chest. Sleep began to reclaim her.
Then that vague feeling of wrongness came back to her. She reluctantly turned her thoughts to the room. She really did want to get back to sleep in her husband's embrace, but she couldn't get her sleep fogged thoughts to focus on the problem. The room was quiet, no traffic noises from outside, no ticking clock noises, no appliance noises, just the radio playing romantic music.
Wait a minute … the radio. It was the radio… or rather the song it was playing. She couldn't listen to 'that song', she just couldn't.
That song was anathema to her, she hated it. It could put her into a state of depression and anger for days, trying to deal with the pain of the memories it brought to her. It had gotten a lot of play around the time her parents were divorcing and had come to symbolize all the pain and anger and heartbreak of those times. The pain had gotten worse with time and her own experiences with men. She couldn't stand to hear it played.
The last time she had heard a large portion of 'that song', she couldn't get the lyrics out of her mind. She had been cruel and mean to Clark for days. The anger and hurt had turned her tongue into a dagger, rebuffing every kind word and gesture with a cutting remark that she was sure would pierce him through the heart. Then there had been the silences. Silences so cold that even he shivered. She realized now, that it was also fear. A fear that she would be hurt again. A fear that made her try to drive Clark away.
Clark's love and loyalty had survived these trials as they had survived so many others. His steadfast smile had eventually put her demons to sleep, calmed her fears and won her heart. But her demons still lived and this song could reawaken them. She wouldn't let that happen on her honeymoon, she couldn't. Fears of a ruined honeymoon, disappointments, arguments, a ruined marriage and divorce began to flit through her tired thoughts. *NO! I won't let this 'song' ruin our honeymoon.*
She quietly tried to slide out from Clark's embrace so that she could get to the radio. But in his sleep, his arm gently tightened around her and wouldn't let go. It didn't hurt her in the slightest, but she couldn't slip free. She debated waking him up, but didn't. She couldn't say why. Maybe it was because this was a private pain despite their love, maybe it was because this pain was something Clark had never experienced and could only sympathize with, maybe she didn't want him to know that the demons still lived, maybe it was pride, maybe it was…Oh, she didn't know. She just had to deal with this herself. She wriggled a little more, struggling just short of waking him up, but it was no good. There was no escape. Arms of steel could be a real pain at times.
*Oh, what's the use?* she thought. She had already heard a large portion of 'that song', though she had tried to ignore it with all she had. Its melody was already echoing in her thoughts and it was sure to bring on her usual bout of anxiety, anger, and depression. She gave up and relaxed into Clark's warm embrace and waited for the pain to begin. The words of the refrain came to her clearly now.
What's the glory of living?
Doesn't anybody ever stay
Together anymore?
And if love never lasts forever
Tell me….What's forever for?
Instead, she began to feel sleepier than ever. No pain, no depression, no anger. *What happened?* she wondered with a feeling of relief. *It's gone. The pain is gone.*
As she sank deeper into sleep, about to slip into the oblivion of sleep, memories flashed across her mind's eye. There was a gentle elderly man's face whose eyes were filled with wonder. "It seems that your soul is entertwined with hers. Like… Soulmates. Wherever his was, there was yours, never one without the other. Two lovers destined to meet and fall in love over and over again through out time."
Then there were fleeting visions of Clark courting her and loving her again and again. Vague memories of lifetime after lifetime of past lives and even …future ones? Clark was always there for her. Always giving. Always caring. Always hers.
He was her knight, her cowboy, her hero, her friend and her love. Not even at 'death do they part'. As she faded into a deep satisfying sleep, she knew in that brief eternal moment before oblivion claimed her, that Clark would 'always' come back to her, ALWAYS. And that sometimes love IS Forever.
THE END
Send comments to budmayes@aol.com
Standard disclaimer: These sharacters belong to Warner Bros., DC Comics and December 3rd Productions. I'm just playing with them.
For those few who haven't seen the episode this takes place after "Soulmates.
For what it's worth, I personally do not hate this song. I do think that it has a haunting melody and lyrics and that's just what the song does - haunt Lois.
I think that the song lyrics are from the song "What's forever for", by various artists, but I haven't been able to confirm it or whether I'm misquoting any of them. My thanks to Debby Stark and Peace for their help on editing this piece.