Super Rap

By Paul-Gabriel Wiener (pgw@mit.edu or pgwfolc@netscape.net)

Rated: G

Submitted October 7, 1997

Summary: A song fanfic with a twist. Superman does battle with a formidable foe to the sound of a familiar rap song.

I've seen so many "song fanfics" that I just had to write one myself. As you may have noticed, however, I'm not a romance writer. Of course, there aren't that many songs that you can write a fanfic about. For my purposes, I had to take a song from a movie soundtrack and edit the lyrics. Since it was already written for a story, I decided to keep the basic scene. For those of you who've see it, the movie is TMNT II. For those of you who don't know the acronym, you probably don't want to read this anyway.

Please remember that this is an experiment. I'm starting off with humorous intent, but I don't know how it'll turn out. As always, I welcome feedback. Just take note that I don't intend to write another one of these, so if you're basically going to say "please don't do that again," don't bother. pgwfolc@netscape.net: I'm borrowing the characters in this story from several large companies. The song lyrics are also not mine. I really have no right to be using these charachters, lyrics, etc. in my story. I'm violating federal copyright laws by writing this story, and you're doing the same by downloading it and reading it. Oh well. Just thought you should know.

***

"Where IS that entertainment? I ordered…" The angry manager stopped his tirade at the sound of a loud crash. Dancers scattered as a blue streak crashed through the roof into the middle of the nightclub. Superman got up, shook his head, and then quickly jumped back. He was just in time to avoid being crushed by a green streak following the same path that he himself had just described. The streak collided with the ground and resolved itself into what appeared to be a large green man. The fact that he had landed on his feet suggested that he had jumped after his blue-clad foe. Huffing with anger, he turned to face Superman. "Hulk SMASH cape-man!"

The band on stage, Vanilla Mice, decided that this was their cue to start a new song. The nightclub's customers, as if brainwashed by the music, crowded back onto the dance floor, leaving room for the two combatants. Satisfied that the show was continuing and that the entertainment had evidently arrived, the manager stalked off to find something else he could shout over. Superman seemed to find strength in the powerful backbeat of the rap song.

Yo, it's the blue machine

Gonna rock the town - know what I mean?

Slammin' and jammin' to the new swing sound

Yeah everybody let's move!

Superman flew at the Hulk at super-speed, knocking the jade giant off his unusually large green feet. Hulk sprang back up and started hitting Superman as the band continued with the next verse.

Vanilla is here with the new Jack Groove

Gonna rock and roll this place

with the power of Kryptonian bass

Devastate the show while Superman's sayin:

Superman was briefly distracted by the song, giving Hulk an opportunity to get another shot in. Superman was knocked across the room and through the wall. He quickly recovered, and smashed back into the Hulk just as the chorus started up.

Super, Super RAP! Super, Super RAP!

GO, GO, GO!

Go Super, go Super, GO!

Go Super, go Super, GO!

Go Super, go Super, GO!

Go Super, go super, GO!

Go, GO, GO, GO!

Superman punched with the beat, knocking the Hulk back. His fist smashed into the Hulk with each word. Luckily, the Hulk was too stupid to take advantage of the rythm. The deadly duel continued as the next verse kicked in.

Lyrics, fill in the gap

Drop that bass and get the Super rap!

All this trouble with the "cape-man" who wouldn't let himself be smashed was making Hulk angry, and as we all know "the madder Hulk gets, the stronger Hulk gets!" Using all of that incredible strength, Hulk slammed his fist down on Superman's head. Superman dropped to the floor.

Feel it, if you know what I mean

Come on, Supes, take out the guy in green!

Superman definitely knew what the "Miceman" meant by "feel it." Still, he persisted. The next part of the verse was all about the hero, and Superman enjoyed the words as he dove back into the battle.

Just flowin' smooth with with the power

Kickin' it up hour after hour

'Cause in this life there's only one winner

You better aim good so you can hit the center

In it to win it with strength and more

Super Man that you gotta adore it's the…

The chorus started up again, and Superman fell into the beat with it. He continued pounding on the slathering green menace as the rappers shouted "GO, GO, GO, GO!" The chorus finished up, and the band started the final verse. By now, Hulk was starting to feel the effect of all those super-powered hits.

Vilains, you better run and hide

Because one day you might not slide

Choose your weapon but don't slip

Vanila's in control with the flex of the mic grip

Rockin' the crowd the way it should be rocked

At this point, Hulk was starting to teeter. He ovbiously couldn't take much more of a beating. Superman kept up, knowing that if he let up, the Hulk would recover quickly.

With the Miami drop that you like a lot

Hittin' like a Kryptonian when the bass kicks in

You better check your level

The power of supes is strong

Fightin' all the croks until they're all out cold

The Hulk finally collapsed just as the verse ended, and Superman spent the chorus-time tieing him up with whatever he could find. The final chorus ended, and the crowd stopped dancing. They looked around to see Superman standing in a dramatic pose, with his cape flapping in the draft and Hulk collapsed and trussed up behind him. They cheered for their hero, and he smiled. He considered staying to dance with the band on the next song, but realized that he'd have to take the Hulk somewhere secure. He waved to the band, grabbed the Hulk's silent form and flew off into the distance.

THE END

"Ninja Rap" Copyrighted 1991 by EMI Blackwood Music, Inc. Produced, written and preformed by Vanilla Ice and Earthquake.

(superrap.txt)