Crazy for You

By Pam Jernigan (

Summary: Mind-altering drugs, brushes with death, and a social life for Jimmy … will Lois and Clark *ever* get to spend an uneventful evening together? An episode in script form.

Author's Note: This is an idea that came to me last summer. I thought it was a story that could actually be done as a real episode (unlike most of my other fanfics <g>) so, as a challenge to myself, I wrote it in script form. It was more of a challenge than I'd anticipated, and took me over six months to complete. And by then I was so tired of it that I set it aside for six more months. I solicited editorial comments from several people, but I never had the energy to incorporate their comments, so this is all my own fault.

As I said, I had this idea all mapped out last summer. I've seen elements that I've used here show up in the fourth season, but I assure you that it's coincidental. I didn't steal from them (well, apart from the concept, characters, etc <g>) and they didn't steal from me. That I know of, anyway. <g>

If they're not going to give us a fifth season, we'll have to write our own, so here goes…





The camera pans around the apartment. CLARK KENT is busy in the kitchen, apparently making breakfast. The shot pans past Clark and up to LOIS LANE in the bedroom upstairs. Lois is sitting at her vanity table, her hair up in some rollers, putting the finishing touches on her makeup.

CLARK (offstage, his voice coming up the back stairs from the kitchen) Breakfast is ready!

LOIS (still fixing her makeup) I'll be there in a minute.

CLARK (sing-song) The eggs'll get cold! Come on, you're beautiful enough already.

LOIS (smiling) You can always zap the eggs for me when I get out there, flyboy, it's not a problem.

(laughs) Those powers of yours ought to be good for something, after all…

A thought occurs to her, and she frowns downward.

LOIS (continued) Hey, no peeking!



The shot switches to Clark in the kitchen, facing the bedroom and pushing up his glasses, a big grin on his face.

CLARK Peeking? Moi?

LOIS (off stage, laughing) Yeah, you. Never a moment's privacy around here…

CLARK (virtuously putting breakfast on the table) Lois, I am shocked — shocked! That you would think such a thing. Don't you trust me?

Lois enters the shot, grinning widely, her hair all ready.

LOIS (smug) I know you, mister. I mean, if you weren't peeking, why'd you say I was already beautiful?

She sits at the table, Clark sits opposite her.

CLARK Honey, I don't need x-ray vision to know that.

LOIS (rolls her eyes and smiles) What am I going to do with you?

CLARK (smugly) You're going to love me for the rest of my life.

She smiles, he leans in and they kiss.

LOIS So… what'd you have to go out for last night?

CLARK Just the usual. Nothing worth looking into, except… (takes a sip of coffee)

LOIS Except what?

CLARK (a little troubled) Well, there was a girl who jumped off a bridge. After I got her back on solid ground, I tried to talk to her, to see what was wrong, maybe get her in touch with some social agencies. But I didn't get anywhere.

LOIS (guessing) She told you off, she fell in love with you… what?

CLARK (smiles briefly) It was weird. She acted like she didn't even hear me. Like she was in a trance, or…

Clark's SUPERHEARING picks up a distant siren, and his head comes up, looking in that direction. Lois recognizes that look on his face.

LOIS What is it?

CLARK Convenience store, downtown. Pretty near the Planet, actually.

LOIS (stands up) So what are you waiting for? I'll clean up here and see you at work.

Clark stands too, and impulsively hugs his wife.

LOIS (smiling) What was that for?

CLARK (grins) Love you, Mrs. Kent.


LOIS Love you too, Mr. Kent. Now get to work!

She makes shooing motions to push him out the window, turns to finish getting ready for work, and we…



We zoom into the store. A CLERK and two CUSTOMERS are standing carefully still near the cash register, watching KEVIN, a young man a little over college age, who is (inexpertly and carelessly) holding a gun on them in one hand. He has a plastic shopping basket hanging on that arm, and with his other hand he's scooping up candy bars from the nearby shelf, placing them in the basket. His face is blank, his actions nearly mechanical.

CUSTOMER Kevin, what are you doing?

No answer, no response at all.

CUSTOMER Kevin, don't be crazy, man! This isn't worth getting arrested for — listen to me! You don't even like chocolate!

Kevin's motions slow, then he starts taking candy back out of the basket, thrusting it towards the shelf. His face is still blank, and he's still holding the gun.

CUSTOMER That's good, Kevin, very good…

Two policemen, led by SERGEANT ATKINS, enter the store cautiously. Kevin doesn't seem to notice them. Superman lands outside and enters. The policemen give him little "go ahead, be our guest" hand motions, so he moves past them to approach Kevin. He walks forward slowly, holding out his hands.

SUPERMAN Now, let's make this simple, alright? Just give me the gun…

Kevin hands him the gun. Superman looks faintly surprised at how well that worked, and then hands the gun to the policemen, getting out of their way so that they can collect Kevin as well.

SUPERMAN Is everybody okay?

As they assure him they're fine, the camera tracks around to reveal DR. BRIAN SHAPIRO hiding in the back of the store. He's about thirty years old, with hair that's a little too long and a slightly neglected appearance. He scribbles some notes into a small notebook and smiles.

BRIAN Excellent!







Lois and Clark are both working at their desks. The rest of the pit is busy, as usual.

CLARK (idly, while working) So, where do you want to go for dinner tonight?

LOIS (also preoccupied) Go, as in go out?

CLARK Yeah, you know. A date. I am allowed to take my wife on a date, aren't I?

LOIS Well, I haven't got any objections, but you know as well as I do that the universe doesn't approve of us going out. Something always happens.

CLARK Not always—

His phone rings, cutting him off. She looks over at him and smiles at this proof of her theory. He shrugs helplessly and picks up the phone.

CLARK (into phone) Clark Kent… Yes, I did… Oh really?… Thanks for returning my call, Sergeant. (hangs up, turns to Lois)

LOIS (looks over from her desk) News about Kevin?

CLARK Yep. Seems he passed out in the patrol car, and when he came to, in the hospital, he didn't remember a thing.

LOIS And you said, this morning, he seemed as if he were in a trance— (looks at him inquiringly)

CLARK (nods agreement) —or drugged. Superman asked them to take a blood sample, and send it to S.T.A.R. labs; with any luck Dr. Klein can find something for us.

LOIS Well, in the meantime, we'll have to find out all about poor Kevin. Jimmy!

CLARK (frowning) Yeah… I wish I knew how to find that girl from last night.

JIMMY OLSEN walks up during this sentence, standing next to Clark's desk.

JIMMY (grinning) Hey, CK, you're not supposed to be looking for girls, you're married now!

LOIS (laughs) Thanks for reminding him, Jimmy, but in this case he's innocent.

CLARK In this case? I'm always innocent!

LOIS Yes, to the grave disappointment of millions, worldwide…

CLARK (pointedly) So, Jimmy, what have you got on our man Kevin?

Lois and Jimmy exchange laughing glances at Clark's discomfort, then get back to business.

JIMMY Not much. He's just out of college, lives in a cheap apartment, an entry-level broker at a big stock market-type firm.

LOIS Not usually the type to rob a convenience store.

CLARK Not usually…

As Lois and Clark look at each other and shrug, we



The camera pans over a chemist's work shop. The desk is untidy, with books and papers everywhere. The shelves of chemicals are neatly labeled, with every vial and bottle in order and labeled, the work spaces are clean and clear. In the background, through a window, we can see a smaller office area. A small television is on a shelf, tuned to a news program, but with the volume off. Brian is measuring liquids into a test tube, frequently referencing the same battered notebook he had in the store.

A door opens, and we see ANALISA PETERSON in the doorway, looking around in disdain. She is in her early thirties, dressed very professionally, and very pretty. She stands there for a moment. When Brian doesn't look up, she knocks on the open door.

ANALISA (plaintively) Brian, where have you been?

BRIAN (looks up, startled) Working. Hi, Analisa.

ANALISA But I called, and all I got was Stuart!

Brian turns back to his work, measuring and mixing liquids together in a test tube, almost ignoring Analisa as they talk.

BRIAN Well, I didn't say I was here, did I? I was field testing.

ANALISA Field testing what, exactly? Brian, you told me that you could develop a tasteless, totally non- detectable vitamin additive. With the health-food market today, that could earn us quite a tidy little income! So have you been working on it or not?

BRIAN (unapologetic) I guess you'd have to say not. I found something much more interesting.

ANALISA (groans) Brian, you've got to quit doing this. Ever since high school, you've been so distractible! When will you pick a goal and stick with it?

The door bangs open again, and STUART stumbles in. He's in his late teens, very scruffy-looking.

STUART Hey, Dr. Shapiro, sorry I'm late, and I can't stay long, I have to get to the coffee shop, but…

He cuts off in mid-ramble when he sees Analisa. He stares at her worshipfully.

STUART Morning, Ms. Peterson, how are you?

ANALISA Fine. Now, Brian, darling…

She emphasizes the word "darling" and shoots a sharp glance at Stuart, to make sure the love-sick teenager gets the point. He wilts, and goes about his business, clattering things in the background.

ANALISA (continued) Brian, you've got to stay focused. This is exactly why you lost your job at LexLabs.

Brian looks annoyed.

STUART Hey, it wasn't Dr. Shapiro's fault that Luthor decided to take a header off a building.

Analisa glares at him until he shrinks back off into the background.

BRIAN Analisa, if you would like to stop repeating ancient history just for a moment, I need to tell you something.

ANALISA Fine. What?

BRIAN I've come up with something far more interesting than vitamins. It's tasteless and non-detectable, all right, but it's not exactly health food.



Back at the Daily Planet, Clark is looking something up on the computer, with Lois looking over his shoulder. Jimmy approaches hesitantly.

JIMMY Uh, Clark? Could I talk to you a minute?

LOIS Am I in the way here?

JIMMY No! I've got a kind of a problem, and I can use all the help I can get.

CLARK So, what's up?

JIMMY (nervously) Well, see, I have a date for Saturday night, and I'm not quite sure what to do about it, and I figured you must be doing something right, so maybe you could help.

LOIS Jimmy, you've had lots of dates before, what's different about this one?

JIMMY It's not the date that's different… it's the girl. Her name's Tracy, and I really like her, you know, really, really like her, but what if I don't like her after I meet her?

CLARK (confused) What?

JIMMY (sheepish) I guess I didn't mention that I met her on the Internet?

CLARK No, you didn't…

JIMMY Hey, it's not like I was trolling for girls… well, not exactly, anyway… I was just on Usenet talking about music, and I liked her messages. Then we met up on the IRC and really hit it off.

Clark looks faintly baffled. He turns to Lois, but she shrugs — it's all Greek to her.

JIMMY (continued) So then we were e-mailing back and forth, and found out that we both live in Metropolis. And she said, hey we ought to go out, and I said, sure why not, and we set up this date, but now… (sighs)

CLARK Now you're getting nervous.

JIMMY Yeah. What if we don't get along in person? Maybe she's got an annoying voice, or she won't like me… (beat)

There's no way she'll like me.

CLARK She'll like you, Jimmy, how could she not?

JIMMY Lots of women have managed not to like me, CK.

PERRY (off-stage) Clark!! Get in here!

Clark shrugs and exits to Perry's office, leaving Lois to deal with Jimmy.

LOIS Jimmy, she already likes you, if what you're telling us about e-mail and I-R-whatever is true.

JIMMY (glumly) Maybe.



PERRY WHITE motions Clark to come into the office and shuts the door behind him, while keeping a close eye on the newsroom.

PERRY Has Jimmy been telling you about this girl?

CLARK Well, yeah, actually. How did you know?

Perry dismisses the question with a wave of his hand. He's the Chief Editor, he just knows these things.

PERRY I want you to keep an eye on him for me. I don't trust this Internet stuff, and this girl really has him down for the count. I want to make sure it doesn't turn out to be a sucker punch.


Jimmy is continuing to ramble on, oblivious to Lois' desire to get back to work.

JIMMY Do you think I should wear a suit?

LOIS (smiles) Not if you're going to the movies.

JIMMY (doesn't notice the joke) Because I thought a suit would make me look better, more successful…

LOIS (more serious) Jimmy. Don't try to pretend to be what you're not… it only gets you in trouble. Believe me.



CLARK I don't know how I'm supposed to watch over him, Chief — he's too old for a chaperon—

PERRY Judas Priest! Haven't you ever had a sneaky thought in your life?

Perry eyes Clark, who's looking uncomfortable and playing with his glasses.

PERRY (continued, relenting) Well, ask Lois. The point is—

Through the window, Clark spots a woman entering the newsroom, holding a bundled up apron in one hand.

CLARK That's the girl from the bridge!


CLARK Never mind.

Clark starts for the door, when he sees the girl approaching Jimmy. He stops, confusing Perry, and uses his SUPERHEARING to pick up their conversation. As he tunes in, we



Up close, we see that the girl is pretty, in her early twenties.

GIRL Excuse me, are you Jimmy Olsen?

JIMMY (confused) Yes.

GIRL (smiles widely) Hi, I'm Tracy!

He looks shocked, and Lois looks very interested.

TRACY (smile falters) I know we weren't going to meet until Saturday, but the waiting was driving me crazy, so I said, what the heck; I know where he works; I mean, you work, so why not? I just work down the street, actually, and I came into the city early today…

Jimmy still hasn't recovered.

LOIS Hi, I'm Lois Lane, I work with Jimmy. He was just telling me a little about you. You met on the Internet, he said?



Perry and Clark are both watching the scene avidly.

PERRY Oh, boy, I'd bet anything that's Tracy. Get out there, Clark! And find out if she's a keeper!

With determination and no plan, Clark heads out the door, and the camera tracks ahead of him back to the group around Lois' desk.


Despite Lois' best efforts to distract her, Tracy is looking nervously at Jimmy.

TRACY Jimmy? Are you okay?

JIMMY Oh! Yeah, I'm fine… Just a little surprised, is all.

Jimmy looks down at his outfit and brushes off imaginary lint. Clark joins the group, slipping an arm around Lois with a big smile.

CLARK Hi, I'm Clark Kent, and I see you've met my wife. You're Tracy, right?

Tracy nods. Jimmy looks pleadingly to Clark. He's lost, he doesn't know what to do.

CLARK (continued) Tell you what. Lois and I have some time to kill before we go over to S.T.A.R. Labs, and we were just about to take a break…

Lois looks briefly confused, but follows his lead.

CLARK (continued) …so why don't you two join us? Maybe we could go get some… ah…

He looks around for a clock — it's ten a.m. Too early for lunch.

LOIS —some coffee!

CLARK Yes, some coffee would be good, I think, don't you think so, Jimmy?

JIMMY Um, yeah, sure. Tracy?

TRACY Well, there's the coffee shop I work at…

She holds up the bundle in her hand to show the logo of PJ's Coffee Shoppe.

CLARK Great! PJ's it is, then.

Clark herds the group out of the newsroom, and we



Brian has been showing Analisa his notes, which are spread out everywhere. She holds up her hands impatiently.

ANALISA (skeptical) So what you're saying is, you can suppress a person's free will and higher brain functions?

BRIAN Yes, although I need more tests—

He's cut off by a resounding CRASH from the next room.

STUART (off-stage) Sorry!

Analisa rolls her eyes.

ANALISA Why do you put up with that klutz, Brian? He's useless and he's creepy.

BRIAN Oh, no, he's not useless. Not useless at all.

Stuart comes into the shot, now marginally neater in appearance and wearing a white apron.

STUART I've gotta get to work, Dr. Shapiro; do you have another batch?

Brian hands him the test tube he's been preparing, and as Stuart leaves, the camera focuses on his uniform, clearly showing the logo of PJ's Coffee Shoppe.







Jimmy, Tracy, Lois, and Clark are walking down a downtown street on their way to the coffee shop (they start near the Daily Planet and end up at PJ's Coffee Shoppe). Jimmy has recovered somewhat from his earlier stunned state.

JIMMY So, you work as a waitress?

TRACY Yep. Well, it's not a career, but it's something to do until I get my big break; I'm going to be a model.

Jimmy's eyes glaze over again.

CLARK That's interesting. It can be a pretty wild lifestyle, though - what did you do last night?

Lois frowns at this question. Tracy looks confused, trying to remember.

TRACY Well, ah, not much really… I guess… I worked the afternoon shift, and then I guess I went home.

CLARK Have you ever met Superman?

Tracy looks very confused now, and Lois is very puzzled.

TRACY No, why?

Clark just smiles and shrugs.

JIMMY I've met him — he's a friend of mine.

TRACY Really? So what's he like?

Tracy is now very interested in Jimmy and ignores Clark. Lois grabs hold of Clark's arm and pulls him back behind the other two.

LOIS What exactly are you up to??

CLARK Remember I told you about the girl who jumped from a bridge last night?

LOIS That's her?

CLARK Yeah, but I don't think she remembers it.

They approach the coffee shop and enter.



This is a trendy little shop with hundreds of varieties of coffee, tea, and juice. Tracy shows them around, clearly proud of the shop.

TRACY Here we are. It's a great place, isn't it? Tons of things to choose from. I haven't tried half of them yet. I want to try them all, but you can't taste them all at once, you know?

JIMMY You have to experience each one on its own?

TRACY Exactly. It's nice that you understand that…

They smile at each other for a moment, finally starting to connect. In the background, we see Stuart come in, and the focus shifts to his face — he's scowling. He starts toward them.

STUART What are you doing here, Trace, I thought I told you to go kill yourself.

Tracy rolls her eyes and Jimmy bristles. Lois looks suspicious — pieces are coming together.

TRACY You should know by now that no one ever listens to you, Stuart. Now get out of here so my friends don't have to breathe the same air as you.

She turns back to Jimmy and ignores Stuart, who skulks away scowling.

TRACY (continued) So, what do you guys want to try today?



Analisa is pacing the laboratory, trying to understand everything Brian's been telling her.

ANALISA Are you dosing all the coffee?

BRIAN No, no, not all of it, that would be much too obvious. Only some of the more exotic flavors — its got an element of random choice that I enjoy — I don't have to pick test subjects, because they select themselves.

ANALISA And they can't taste it at all?

BRIAN It's almost completely tasteless by itself, but we're also only adding it to things with strong flavors already, like iced raspberry tea, or —



Clark is at the counter placing his order, and his words sound like the continuation of Brian's sentence.

CLARK —Burmese mountain blend.

TRACY Are you sure about that, Clark? It's a very strong brew — I tried it yesterday, and boy was it bitter!

LOIS Oh, don't worry, Tracy, he's got an iron stomach.

CLARK Steel, actually.

Lois and Clark share a private smile as Tracy shrugs. Their drinks arrive (Jimmy carries Tracy's cup for her) and they find a table. Clark takes a big sip and smiles.

CLARK (continued) Oh yeah. I haven't had that for years — boy it brings back memories. I learned to drink it when I was in Burma; it's a fascinating country. There are these Buddhist monks, way up in the mountains, and they—

LOIS Oh, boy, look at the time! Clark, you and I have got to get over to S.T.A.R. Labs… maybe we could save the travelogue for later?

CLARK (looking at his watch) Uh, sure…

JIMMY Yeah, we'd hate to miss that…

Tracy grins at Jimmy's tone of voice and they seem to be connecting again, while Lois and Clark get up.

CLARK Well, Jimmy, we'll see you back at the office in a bit.

LOIS It was nice to meet you, Tracy.

Lois and Clark walk out. Focus on Clark's half-empty coffee cup as we



Just another day at the lab.


DR. KLEIN is puttering around his lab, looking into microscopes and other scientific apparatus. Lois and Clark are standing behind him, looking at all the weird stuff.

DR. KLEIN I got the robber's blood sample from the police this morning. It's been a while since I last did any regular blood work. In fact, I think the last time was when I was doing post-graduate work, with a woman named Marta — did she know how to shake a sample!

He sighs and seems lost in a happy memory.

CLARK Dr. Klein?

DR. KLEIN Oh, yes, anyway… The blood sample showed definite traces of psychotropic and sedative drugs — a very bad mixture.

LOIS Psychotropic?

DR. KLEIN That's a generic term for a whole class of mood-altering drugs; they're used to treat mental illnesses. Based on what I've heard of the effects, this one is a doozy. It renders the subject completely suggestible — until it wears off, that is.

CLARK And the sedative?

DR. KLEIN I can't be sure, but I'd guess that it suppresses a person's resistance to the other drug, by reducing their awareness.

LOIS So we're looking at people who will do anything they're told, and not even remember it afterwards?

DR. KLEIN Basically, yes. They won't really be aware of what they're doing, you see, so they've got no chance to fight it, or remember it later.

Lois and Clark exchange a look. This is scary.

CLARK Can you make an antidote?

DR. KLEIN Not just from this, no. If I had a sample of the pure drug, then maybe…

LOIS Well, thanks, Dr. Klein. I think we've got enough to go on for now.

DR. KLEIN Okay. Oh, and if you see Superman? Tell him that we're ready to start another series of tests on that vaccine for Kryptonite.

CLARK We'll give him the message, thanks.

They smile and walk out, leaving Dr. Klein puttering with his apparatus.



Brian has left his workbench and is sitting at his desk, talking animatedly with Analisa, who's also looking excited.

ANALISA Okay, I forgive you. This is much better than vitamins. There are so many uses for this kind of drug! What were you planning to do with it?

BRIAN I hadn't really thought that far ahead — and it's not ready for use yet, you know. Iit still needs testing.

ANALISA Don't be silly. It's fine as it is — think of it. You want to steal something, you find an upstanding citizen somewhere and drug them. They do all the work, hand you the loot, and forget all about it! And the police have their fingerprints, not yours…

BRIAN (warming to the idea) Yeah, I like it… you know, I'll bet Intergang would pay a fortune for this…

As they kiss in celebration of their good fortune, we



Lois and Clark have told Perry and Jimmy what they've got so far. Jimmy is visibly upset. All through the conversation, Clark is starting to feel the effects of the drug. His mind is getting a little cloudy; thinking is an effort.

JIMMY I can't believe this, you guys! Someone drugged Tracy? Who would do that?

PERRY Someone dangerous, Jimmy. Lois, Clark, you two have any leads?

LOIS Maybe. I think we need to check out Stuart, the guy at the coffee shop.

CLARK What? Why him?

LOIS I think the coffee shop might be the distribution point. Tracy works there, and she was a victim. And Kevin told the police that he'd stopped for coffee this morning. He doesn't remember exactly where he stopped, but I bet it was PJ's; it's popular.

CLARK But how does that involve Stuart?

Lois squirms a little, this is where her logic starts to break down.

LOIS Well, it doesn't, exactly, except for what he said to Tracy. I think he knew she was drugged and told her to jump off a bridge. He seemed surprised to see her today.

Jimmy is getting furious. Lois shrugs.

LOIS (continued) He's worth looking into.

JIMMY (determined) I'm on it, Lois. What else can I do?

PERRY Well, after you dig up everything you can, I think you ought to get back to the coffee shop. Keep an eye on your girl.

Lois looks surprised by this order, glancing at Clark to catch his reaction. He's not really paying attention.

JIMMY (surprised) Thanks, Chief. I will.

Jimmy nods decisively and leaves.

LOIS Perry, just this morning, weren't you all worried about Tracy being wrong for him?

PERRY Well… she probably is, but he'll need the chance to find out for himself. Superman can't save everyone, you know. Now, get back to your desks, get to work!

Clark gets up promptly and heads back to his desk. Lois follows more slowly.



Lois and Clark are back at their desks. Lois is doing a computer search; Clark is staring off into space. Lois looks up to meet his vacant gaze and squirms a little, defensively.

LOIS What? You think I'm going off the deep end here, don't you? It's tenuous, I grant you…

He sort of nods, uncomfortably.

CLARK Well, yeah…

LOIS I know, but it's that gut instinct that's gotten us where we are today - so trust me, okay?

Clark relaxes and smiles happily. This, he can do. She smiles in response.

LOIS (continued) Good. So we've got some work to do. Boy, I could use some coffee…

Clark leaps up and fixes her a cup, bringing it to her desk. He remains standing there, as if waiting for further instructions.

LOIS (continued) Thanks. Why are you being so solicitous?

He half-shrugs, unable to explain it.

LOIS (continued) Not that I mind… You're not worried that I'm mad over you chasing Tracy this morning?

She looks back at her screen, more involved in her computer search than in a serious discussion. As she talks, Clark hears an offstage voice yelling "Help, Superman" and starts getting agitated. He needs to go answer the call, he needs to stay there and listen to Lois — the tension between the two needs makes him start to sway back and forth, between leaving and staying.

LOIS (continued) Because that's one thing I know I never have to worry about, you chasing other women. Other women chasing you, sure, that's happened, and you've had a annoying tendency to actually let them kiss you, but as far as I know you've never kissed back, and anyway, that was mostly before we were even going out, so…

She finally looks up and notices his agitation.

LOIS (continued) What is it?

CLARK Somebody wants Superman.

LOIS (low-voiced) Well, if you need to go be Superman, then go—

She's cut off by his abrupt exit; as soon as she said "go" he was gone, like an arrow shot from a bow. She blinks at where he was, shrugs, and turns back to her desk.

After a second, Jimmy walks over to her desk, holding a file folder.

JIMMY Hey, Lois, I've got all I could on that kid Stuart — do you need me for anything else? I, ah, really want to go check up on Tracy…

Lois takes the folder from him, seeing how thin it is.

LOIS No, Jimmy, this should do it. Take care of yourself, now, okay?

JIMMY You bet.

He waves, and he's gone, too, leaving Lois with all the work.



Jimmy's got Tracy at a corner table; she's still in her uniform, and looking a little nervous about sitting down on the job.

TRACY You think something strange is going on with Stuart? Why?

JIMMY Well, it's just a theory, we could be completely wrong… but Superman says you jumped off a bridge last night.

TRACY I do *not* remember that.

JIMMY Yeah, but do you remember doing anything else last night?

TRACY (reluctantly) No.

JIMMY So it could have happened, and Stuart could be involved, and we should be careful, okay?

TRACY Okay… hey, tell you what, my break's coming up pretty soon - want to go for a walk?


She gets up and goes back to work; Jimmy sits back and settles in for a wait with a big silly grin on his face.



Superman is wandering around, staggering a little, shaking his head.

SUPERMAN (mumbling) Superman can't save everyone, you know…

As he approaches an intersection, there's an offstage shout of "Stop, thief". A purse-snatcher runs into the shot and nearly runs into Superman as he emerges from the cross-street. The thief yells in surprise, and stops dead, dropping the stolen purse. When Superman winces away from the yell instead of grabbing him, the thief pulls himself together and runs around him, then ducks into an alley. Superman frowns, but doesn't pursue him. Sergeant Atkins runs up.

SGT. ATKINS Superman? Why didn't you catch that guy?

SUPERMAN (sulking) I didn't want to. He didn't like me, and he *yelled*.

The policeman looks really concerned now, and tries to approach Superman.

SGT. ATKINS Are you okay? Maybe you'd better sit down or something…

SUPERMAN No, I don't want to, leave me alone!

He pushes at the policeman, who falls over, and then wanders off down the street once more. The shot swings down to the policeman, lying on the sidewalk and looking worried. He pulls out his radio.

SGT. ATKINS Headquarters? You're not going to like this.



Jimmy and Tracy are taking their walk, and starting to get more comfortable with each other.

JIMMY So then, the second time the Snake Heads came to town for a concert, I was *so* prepared, you know? Bought my ticket the very first day, made sure I had that afternoon off from work, I was ready months in advance…

TRACY And then they go and fall apart before they can do the concert, I know! Oh, and good luck getting your money back.

JIMMY You had tickets to that show, too?

TRACY Sure, for all the good it did me… Small world, huh?

They laugh at the shared experience.

TRACY (continued) So, you haven't told me much about your job… what do you do, are you a reporter?

JIMMY (slightly embarrassed) Um, not really — I do some photography, but mostly I do research, or whatever the Chief Editor needs…

TRACY (eagerly) Hey, look, isn't that Superman?

She points, and the camera turns to reveal Superman walking on the other side of the street.

TRACY (continued) Didn't you say you know him? Could you introduce me?

JIMMY Yeah, sure!

They cross the street, coming up on Superman from behind.

JIMMY (continued) Superman! Hey, dude, what's up?

Superman swings around, startled and alarmed by the shout.

SUPERMAN (petulant) Don't shout!

Jimmy puts his hands up, disclaiming any harmful intent.

JIMMY You got it, big guy… so, anyway, I wanted to intro—

SUPERMAN (threatening) I don't like it when people shout.

Superman scowls and starts stalking toward Jimmy. Jimmy goes white, but pushes Tracy behind him and puts up his fists. Hold on Jimmy's frightened face and







Fade in where we left off — Jimmy and Tracy, looking scared as Superman holds his threatening posture. Jimmy backs up slightly, but his fists are up.

JIMMY Is this what you want? Come and get it!

Superman steps forward, but then his scowl wavers, and he shakes his head, confused.

SUPERMAN (mumbling) No… not right… I won't!

Superman flies away. Jimmy relaxes, trembling just a little as he turns to see how Tracy's doing. Her eyes are wide.

TRACY Wow! Jimmy, you were so brave! I can't believe it, that was…

At a loss for words, she gives up, and just kisses him enthusiastically. He's initially startled but then gets into it, until all of a sudden he pulls away, a startled expression on his face.

JIMMY My gosh… do you know what this means?

He starts walking quickly down the street, grabbing her hand and pulling her along.

TRACY Where are we going?

JIMMY Back to the Daily Planet. I have got to write this up!


Lois has her desk covered in papers, and she's alternating between reading them and checking her computer screen. She spots something in the computer database, double checks it on a piece of paper, and smiles in triumph.

LOIS I've still got it!

Perry comes over to see what it is she's got.

PERRY Got what?

LOIS A connection for our boy Stuart. See here? A few weeks ago, he was arrested for shoplifting. Nothing major, but he was bailed out by one Dr. Brian Shapiro. And over here, we see that Dr. Shapiro is a research chemist — used to work for LexLabs, actually, before getting laid off and disappearing.

PERRY A chemist? Well, now, that's a little more concrete. Is this doctor related to the kid?

LOIS Not that I could find out.

PERRY That's progress, Lois, but it's not proof. What's your next move?

LOIS We need to find out where Dr. Shapiro hangs out these days, and what he's up to.

PERRY Get to it, then.

He spots someone one the other side of the newsroom.

PERRY (continued) Hey, Wood — where's that sidebar piece?

Perry stalks off to pursue another hapless reporter. Lois looks at her watch.

LOIS (muttering) C'mon, Clark, it's been two hours - where are you?

She scans the newsroom idly. Someone turns up one of the many TV sets around the newsroom and she turns to see what's new in the world. Her expression turns to horror as the camera shot tracks away from her face to focus on…


The scene is of Superman walking around slowly, aimlessly, past a traffic wreck, ignoring people in trouble, wrapped up in himself.

NEWS ANCHOR (voice-over) —clearly a bad situation. Earlier reports suggested that Superman was out of control; now it's confirmed, in this live feed from downtown Metropolis. Elsewhere, firemen are struggling to control—

The shot pulls away from the TV screen, turning to reveal…


Analisa is watching with an entranced expression, as Brian and Stuart are mixing up another batch of chemicals.

ANALISA Brian, do you see this? Superman must have gotten some of your formula!

BRIAN How do you figure that? I can't see Superman going to coffee shops.

ANALISA Oh, he could have gotten it somehow. Stuart isn't exactly what you'd call careful.

Stuart cringes a little, but she's not paying any attention to him. She's leaning toward the TV screen, watching closely.

ANALISA I know that intersection… it's just a block from here. I've got to get out there, and you're coming with me.

BRIAN (startled and displeased) What? Why?

ANALISA Brian, be practical for a minute, even if it hurts. He's under the influence, susceptible to anyone who can manipulate him correctly. What an opportunity! Imagine, Superman working for us!

BRIAN (nervously) Analisa, you're going a bit far here, this is Superman you're talking about…

ANALISA (warningly) If you won't help me, Brian…

He doesn't back down, so she turns and sees Stuart for the first time. She smiles at him, and he melts.

ANALISA Stuart, you'll help me, won't you? We've got an opportunity to exploit, you and I…

Stuart nods, dumbstruck, and follows her as she heads out the door, leaving Brian behind.



Lois is at her desk, speaking urgently into the phone.

LOIS Dr. Klein, we *need* that antidote. Turn on your TV if you don't believe me! Call me here if you get anything, anything at all…

She slams down the phone and grabs her bag, heading for the elevators, passing Perry on the way.


She doesn't even slow down.

LOIS I need to go get Superman, Perry, I'll be back later.

Perry grins approval.

PERRY That's my girl!



Superman is walking unsteadily down the street. He's followed by a crowd of curious and cautious onlookers. He turns to confront them, baffled and upset by their behavior.

SUPERMAN Stop looking at me! You don't like me. Leave me alone!

Frightened by his intensity, the crowd backs up, leaving Analisa front and center, with Stuart staying closer to the crowd. She catches his eye and moves forward slowly.

SUPERMAN Who are you? Are you afraid of me too?

He sounds like a sulky child, and she responds with the warmest smile she's capable of. She alternates between coaxing and commanding him, and although she gets closer to him, she never gets bold enough to actually touch him.

ANALISA No, I'm not. You're not going to hurt me.

She advances toward him slowly, keeping a sharp eye on him until she sees him relax just a bit.

SUPERMAN No, I'm not.

ANALISA That's good. You and I are going to be friends.

Superman nods uncertainly, then suddenly frowns.

SUPERMAN My head feels weird. I don't like it.

ANALISA I know. I can help you feel better. You want to feel better, don't you? Come with me, and I'll take care of you. Follow me, Superman.

The camera rises from the scene, and we see that Superman is following her off the street. Stuart plays rear guard and warns off the crowd. As they vanish from the scene, we see Lois arrive, too late.







Analisa is in the office off the main lab, with Superman. They're sitting across from each other at a table. Behind Analisa, near the door, stand Brian and Stuart, both ill at ease. The table is littered with scientific apparatus — Superman is trying to build a pyramid of glass beakers. Analisa is holding a crowbar that's been bent into a circle.

ANALISA This was very good, Superman!

He shrugs, more interested in his growing pyramid.

SUPERMAN Bending is boring.

ANALISA Can you, ah, set fire to that wastebasket?

She points to a metal wastebasket near the door of the room. Superman looks up, stares at it for a few seconds with his HEAT VISION, and loses interest when the wastebasket contents leap into flame. Stuart jumps, startled, and scrambles for a fire extinguisher, clumsily putting the fire out in the background of the scene.

ANALISA Oh, that's very very good… thank you, Superman!

He stares at his pyramid for a moment, then looks at her.

SUPERMAN People out there didn't like me. Why don't they like me?

ANALISA You don't need to worry about them, they're not important. I like you. I like you very much, and I'll keep on liking you, as long as you do what I say…

She gets up from the table.

ANALISA (continued) Stuart, come play with Superman for a little while, I have to talk to Brian.

Stuart looks disappointed to be cut out of things again, and scared at the prospect of "playing" with Superman, but he does what he's told. Analisa and Brian retreat into the main lab and shut the door, as the scene shifts to:


In the background, with no sound, we see Stuart and Superman (building his pyramid higher) in the office. In the foreground, we see Brian and Analisa talking. Analisa is staring off into space, absorbed in her own visions, and Brian is clearly worried.

ANALISA Oh, this is an incredible opportunity Brian, you've got to see that.

BRIAN I don't like this, Lis. He's not reacting normally, he shouldn't be able to speak or think at all.

In the background, we see Superman's glass beaker pyramid start to topple. Enraged, he pounds his fists on it, breaking all the beakers. Stuart glances wildly at the other room, but they don't react.

ANALISA He's still resisting some things, though; we've got to break through that barrier somehow.

BRIAN And that means I don't know when this dose will wear off, and when it does, we're in deep trouble.

ANALISA Don't worry, I gave him another dose.

In the background, Superman is looking around for something else to play with. He sees Stuart, bouncing nervously in his chair, and advances on him with a wide, mindless smile.

BRIAN (groans) That's not a solution! Analisa, no matter what drug he's on, he's still Superman!

Analisa pauses, and an evil grin grows on her face.

ANALISA That's the problem, yes. And I think I know how to solve it.



Lois walks back into the newsroom, discouraged at having missed Superman. She finds a crowd huddled around a desk and approaches it. At the center is Jimmy, furiously typing.

LOIS What's going on?

Perry and Tracy both turn toward her, beaming with pride.

TRACY We were out walking—

PERRY —and they ran into Superman, who was acting crazy, and threatened them—

TRACY —Jimmy protected me, he was so brave!

PERRY And then he came right back here to write the story!

Lois looks nonplussed and slightly pained, unsure of how to respond.

LOIS Oh. Good for Jimmy. Uh… any messages for me from S.T.A.R. Labs?

Tracy goes back to stand behind Jimmy once more as Perry nods and points to her desk, his expression now more somber.

PERRY Just one. Dr. Klein said there were policemen over there, trying to requisition themselves some Kryptonite.

Lois stops in midstride and changes course, heading for the elevators.



Dr. Klein is standing with his back to a door marked "ABSOLUTELY NO ADMITTANCE", arguing with a small group of policemen, led by Sergeant Atkins.

DR. KLEIN I'm telling you, I can't give you Kryptonite, it's too dangerous!

SGT. ATKINS Look, I don't want to use it, but we need to have it. You said yourself that Superman has lost all self-restraint!

Lois charges around a corner at that moment.

LOIS Oh, no he hasn't, he hasn't hurt anyone yet, has he? You can't just kill him!

SGT. ATKINS Believe me, I don't want to. But we have to defend people.

Another policeman hurries up and hands a piece of paper to the sergeant. He brandishes it in front of Dr. Klein's face.

SGT. ATKINS And now we have a signed court order, Dr. Klein, so stop stalling. Open that vault.

Dr. Klein reluctantly complies, and he and Lois are forced to the side as the policemen enter the vault and emerge with a large sealed box.

LOIS Oh, this is bad. Dr. Klein, please tell me you have an antidote?

DR. KLEIN I'm sorry, but no. It will wear off eventually; the drug does break down, and it should be processed even faster with his metabolism…

He shrugs helplessly, unable to offer any better ideas.



Same composition as the last shot — Brian and Analisa are in the foreground, while we can see, but not hear, Stuart and Superman in the office. Superman is throwing Stuart up into the air and catching him again, having a wonderful time with his new toy. Brian is looking very suspicious, and Analisa is glowing with faith in her own cleverness.

BRIAN So you think you can solve the problem of Superman being Superman, do you?

ANALISA Oh, yes. It's easy. What's his biggest identifying characteristic?

BRIAN (sarcastic) The cape? The muscles? The oil- slick hairdo?

ANALISA No — it's his goodness. Truth, justice, and the American way… if we could break him of that, he'd be ruined. He'd have to stay with us, wouldn't he? Or at least he'd be off the crime-fighting scene…

Brian is looking horrified at her plan, and her arrogance.

BRIAN But, but… how could you possibly do that?

She smiles nastily.

ANALISA Watch me.



There's a big open green area, ringed by some low bushes. Lois is talking to Sergeant Atkins, who's accompanied by a squad of policemen and the lead-lined Kryptonite box.

LOIS Thanks for letting me try my plan, Sergeant. I just know that if I can get close to him, I can talk some sense into him — get him quiet somewhere long enough for this stuff to wear off.

SGT. ATKINS I hope you're right, Ms. Lane, for all our sakes.

He opens the box, revealing the Kryptonite PULSING greenly within. She shudders, and shuts the box.

LOIS Don't use that, except as a very last resort, alright?

SGT. ATKINS I'll give you a fair shot, Ms. Lane. We want Superman back to normal just as much as you do.

LOIS (quietly) I very much doubt that…


LOIS Oh, nothing.

Sergeant Atkins looks puzzled, but brushes it off as unimportant.

SGT. ATKINS So, how do you plan to get him here?



Analisa opens the door to the office and stands still for a moment, surprised to see Stuart being tossed around by Superman. Stuart has his eyes tightly shut, denying reality, while Superman seems to be greatly enjoying the game.

ANALISA Hello again, Superman.

Superman catches Stuart and holds him still for a moment.

SUPERMAN Hi! Wanna play with me?

ANALISA No, dear, it's time to talk for a minute. Put Stuart down.

He pouts slightly, but then complies, carefully lowering Stuart to the floor.

SUPERMAN Whatcha wanna talk about?

ANALISA Well, you said your head was feeling weird. I've found out why, and what to do about it.

SUPERMAN (eagerly) What? Will people like me then?

ANALISA Their whole attitude will change, I promise you. See, you've forgotten to do something, and once you've done it, you'll feel much better.

SUPERMAN (confused) What do I need to do?

ANALISA It's simple, really. You just need to kill someone.

Superman frowns, crossing his arms. This doesn't seem right, somehow.

SUPERMAN No… I don't think… are you sure?

ANALISA I'm sure. Once you kill someone, everything will change. You must kill someone. I'll tell you who.

His frown deepens as he tries to resolve this. Then his head snaps up, distracted. Using SUPERHEARING, he hears Lois in the park, calling his name.

LOIS (off-stage) Superman! SUPERMAN!

ANALISA What is it? What do you hear?

SUPERMAN Somebody's calling me.

He starts toward the door.

ANALISA Ignore them. You must stay with me.

He stops, but after a second he's bouncing on his feet, anxious to go.

SUPERMAN Gotta go… calling me…

Analisa smiles grimly and gives in to the inevitable.

ANALISA Well, this may be the opportunity I need. Take me with you, and you can go.

Not waiting for further instructions, he scoops her up and takes off, leaving Brian and Stuart. They look at each other for a long moment, considering the situation.

BRIAN You know… I don't like her nearly as much as I used to.

STUART Me neither. Maybe we oughtta split…

They nod in unison and head for the door.


Lois is standing in the center of the park, watching Superman descend to one side. He sets down Analisa, and stands, uncertain of what to do now that Lois isn't calling him anymore; she's just watching him.

ANALISA Okay, Superman, here's your chance. Just kill her, and that will fix everything. Go on, go out there and kill her.

He's frowning, very displeased with his orders, but he walks out to meet Lois in the middle of the park. Behind her, we can see the policemen and the closed box of Kryptonite.

LOIS (whispering) Clark? Do you know me?

He stops, looking puzzled — she seems familiar, but he can't quite remember — a new frustration.

ANALISA Go on, Superman, kill her!

Superman grimaces and puts his hands around Lois's neck. She stands very still, looking at him. She is outwardly very calm. The camera closes in on the two of them, circling them as they talk.

LOIS You don't want to do this, Clark.

SUPERMAN She said it would fix things.

LOIS It won't. Trust me. Do you trust me?

They maintain constant eye contact.



Analisa is watching this from the bushes, frustrated and worried about the policemen on the other side of the park.

ANALISA (muttered) Come on, come on — kill her already so we can get out of here!



Back to Superman and Lois; the shot starts with a wide enough focus to see the police and Analisa, and gradually pulls into just the two principals.

SUPERMAN (half angry, half sad) Are you scared of me? Everybody's scared of me. Nobody likes me, except her.

LOIS I'm not scared of you, Clark. I love you. And I trust you.

SGT. ATKINS Let go of her, Superman, now!

LOIS (raising her voice enough to be heard) Relax, Sergeant, he won't hurt me.

Seeing her chance for greatness slipping away, Analisa loses all restraint.

ANALISA (shouting) Kill her, Superman, what are you waiting for?

SUPERMAN I could kill you, you know.

LOIS I know. But you don't want to, do you? You can do anything you want, Clark; you have the strongest willpower of anyone I know.

SUPERMAN (frustrated) What am I going to do with you?

LOIS (smiles faintly) You're going to love me for the rest of my life.

They maintain eye contact as the sounds of Analisa and the police fade away, and ever so slowly, he takes his hands from her neck and moves into a hug instead. With her face against his neck, she can finally shed a few tears of relief.

LOIS (continued) Clark? I won't tell you what to do, but… I'd like to go home now, would you?

In answer, he begins to rise off the ground, taking her along. As they ascend, the camera focus widens to show Analisa, very angrily shouting into the sky, being surrounded by policemen.



Lois and Clark are looking at the Daily Planet's headline: "Superman Back; Crazy-Makers behind Bars". The byline does *not* read either Lois Lane or Clark Kent. Lois sighs, trying to make the best of it.

LOIS Well, it reads pretty well. I wish we'd been able to write it, but it was more important to get Superman back to normal.

She pats him on the tie, smiling briefly. He winces and smiles back.

CLARK Except for a slight headache. But look, Jimmy got his sidebar piece onto the front page.

LOIS Oh yeah, all about how out of control Superman was. There's one for the scrapbook.

CLARK What matters is we got through it, and no one was seriously hurt — I don't know how I could have dealt with that. And speaking of getting hurt…

He draws her closer to him, looking deep into her eyes.

CLARK (continued) I still can't believe what you did yesterday at the park. You had to know that wasn't really me out there… I really could have hurt you. That was incredibly brave.

LOIS A long time ago, I told you there wasn't anything I wouldn't do for you. I love you. I know you. And I knew you wouldn't hurt me. You couldn't.

His eyes glow at her trust in him. Slowly, they lean together for a kiss.

JIMMY Hey, guys, did you see my story?

They reluctantly turn to face Jimmy, who's so pleased with himself that he's practically levitating, and they just have to smile.

CLARK Yeah, Jimmy. Front page, great stuff.

JIMMY Well, Perry helped a lot, and I helped Burns with the main story. The coffee shop is shut down until health officials can make sure there's no more of the drug there, so Tracy and I can spend some time together. And did you see that Brian and Stuart are both claiming it's all the woman's fault?

LOIS Typical. True in this case, though.

JIMMY Yep, they're saying they were both just made crazy by love; I guess that can happen.

CLARK No, Jimmy. Real love doesn't make you crazy… real love makes you sane.

He smiles over at his wife, who reaches for his hand and smiles radiantly as we…