Bon Appetite

By Nirvana (

Summary: Mindy Church comes up with a foolproof way of getting Kryptonite next to Superman.

This is just a freaky idea that I came up with so I wrote it down. Tell me what you think of it!


Mindy Church savoured the last of the cigar smoke. She spun her chair around to face the room full of criminals. They where all waiting to hear her next idea. She smiled at her audience for a moment before speaking. "You know I had a kind of a thought," she said in her most innocent voice. "Superman has stopped every single job you've tried to pull off in the past week so I suppose you all want him dead." She stood up and began to slink around the room. "Unfortunately Superman knows kryptonite well so it's pretty hard to get it close to him, but I was thinking, what if kryptonite took on another form? A form of something he would never think of as kryptonite, a form he'd never suspect. Yes, I like it!"

"Like what?" The man in the black suit asked curiously.

Mindy Church walked around the table to where the man was sitting, slid onto the table in front of him and smiled.


"Lois, honey, stop looking at your food like that. I guarantee that it won't jump up and bite you." Perry whispered in my ear. I smiled at the thought. "Perry, don't you think this food tastes funny?" I asked stirring my soup with the silver spoon lying beside my plate. Perry took another mouthful of his soup. "I think you're just not used to this rich food." He grinned. I leant forward and scooped the remainder of the soup into my mouth, maybe Perry was right.

My gaze travelled to the empty chair beside me. I wished Clark was here. Clark had been so busy saving the world lately that we hadn't had much time together. I sighed as I fiddled with the large diamond on my engagement ring. The frustrating part was that I was sure that the crime rate had gone up since Mindy Church had gotten out of prison but I couldn't prove it. She covered her tracks too well.

"Lois?" Jimmy said from across the table, "Are you feeling OK? You don't look so good."

I placed my hand on my stomach. I did feel a bit queasy but I just put it down to missing Clark. "I'm fine, Jimmy." I replied attempting to smile. I noticed Jimmy casually gazing across the room at a young girl standing in the middle of the dance floor alone. "Well?" I said.

"What?" He looked back at me innocently.

"Go ask her to dance."

Jimmy smiled and headed in her direction.

"Lois, where in the Sam Hill is Clark?" Perry asked looking around for the other half of Lane and Kent.

"He, um, he had to visit his parents. Martha isn't feeling well." I lied. I really hadn't thought of a good excuse for why Clark wasn't there, I guess I was to busy sulking.

"In that case," Perry took my hand, "shall we dance?"

I momentarily forgot about Clark's absence as I tried to dodge Perry's feet. He had many talents but unfortunately for me dancing wasn't one of them.


"Ummm…" I mumbled angrily as I thumped the alarm clock. I rolled over in an attempt to ignore the daylight. The door bell rang loudly. "Coming!" I hollered as I pulled on a robe. "Who could it be at this time of morning?" I thought out loud.

I opened the door to find Clark standing there fully dressed. He seemed a bit surprised to find me looking so tired. "What are you doing here?" I asked with a yawn.

He raised an eyebrow "Lois it's 9am, Perry sent me to check on you." He seemed to look a bit light headed but I didn't take any notice.

"9am?" I couldn't believe I'd slept in so late. "Dumb alarm clock." I walked into my room and placed the rebellious machine in the waste basket. "Come in!" I yelled to Clark as I quickly got changed. I heard the door close as he wandered into the lounge room.

"Do I get a good morning hug?" I asked cheekily as I pulled on my shoe. He smiled and began to cross the room when he fell back onto the couch looking pale.

"Clark!" I ran over to his side, "Clark, what is it?" I panicked., The only time Clark seemed this sick was when there was Kryptonite around.

He didn't respond to my question; he just lay there moaning. I slipped my arm around his shoulder and helped him to my unmade bed. His breathing was now shallow and irregular and he seemed to be getting paler by the second.

"Clark!" I repeated.

"Lois…" he replied sounding pained. "I need a glass of water." he clutched at his chest.

I left the room quickly and shakily poured the glass of water. I turned to head back towards the bedroom when I noticed his breathing had returned to normal and the colour in his face was slowly returning.

As I walked into the room he lifted his head in an effort to smile but a moment after I entered he began to look pale again.

"Clark what's wrong with you?" I clutched his hand but he kept looking worse.

"It feels like Kryptonite but it can't be…" He clutched his arm forcing me to release his hand "Ohhhh…" he moaned.

"Maybe you need some rest." I stood up and began to leave the room. I didn't know what else to do to help him.

Moments after I left he began to feel better, his color returned and the pain was gone.

"I'm back." He said happily as he emerged from the bedroom a few moments later. He looked so much better. I smiled, everything's going to be fine I reassured myself. He started walking over to the couch where I was sitting and began to look weak again, he tried hard to ignore it but after a moment it became too overpowering and he collapsed in the middle of the lounge room floor.

"Clark!" Again I rushed to his side. It was what he said next that surprised and upset me the most. "Lois, get back…" He panted.

At first I was both shocked and hurt at the request but I put my feelings of pain aside., The pain he was feeling was far more deadly. I rose to my feet and walked to the far end of the room. "Clark what is it?" I finally dared to ask.

He sat up and turned to face me "I don't understand it but somehow, whenever you're near me, I feel like I'm being exposed to Kryptonite." He rubbed his aching head.

I was more shocked than I had ever remembered being in my entire life "It can't be." I mumbled, a million thoughts rushing through my head. Then my mind returned to the previous night. My food had tasted really strange but it couldn't have been Kryptonite, or could it?

"Lois, I…" Clark began.

I cut him off; I'd had an idea. "Clark, I'm going to STAR labs. Maybe they can help." I rushed out the door without looking back. I had to keep reminding myself not to pre-empt anything. I started my Jeep and pulled onto the road. I couldn't clear my mind of the terrible thoughts that kept bouncing around.


"Miss Lane, I'm afraid I have some bad news." Dr. Klein emerged from one of the lab rooms with a grim expression.

I sighed; anything would be better that not knowing, or at least that's what I thought then. "Tell me."

"Miss Lane, you appear to have ingested Kryptonite." Dr. Klein stated bluntly.

"What?" I couldn't have heard him right.

"You appear to have ingested Kryptonite." He repeated. "It's somewhere inside you and I don't know if there's a way to get it out." He shifted uncomfortably.

My mind returned to last night's meal. "Is it poisonous?" I asked too shocked to think about the devastating circumstances.

"Not to you, but Superman is another matter."

"How much?" I didn't know what else to ask.

"Only a small amount but that would have the same effect as a large amount in this case."

I was thoroughly confused.

"The human body," he began, "has an aura. So anything, within that aura, even in the smallest quantities, would be amplified to be much stronger."

I swallowed hard as I felt a lump begin to form in my throat. I looked away for a moment trying not to show how upset I was. "What can we do?" I croaked softly.

"I'll try to work on a antidote but if I can't find one," He looked at me sympathetically "I'm afraid that even being close to Superman for a short time could mean death."

I bit my lip trying to momentarily forget about what was going on. "Dr. Klein, you have to put me somewhere," I blinked back tears, "somewhere where Superman can't come near me…" I began to sob quietly.

Dr. Klein sighed "We'll prepare a room for you."

I nodded but didn't look up. I couldn't bear to face the world that Clark might have to face alone.


Clark lay back on his couch holding an ice pack to his throbbing head. He had rang STAR Labs. He so much wanted to see Lois, to hold her face in his hand, to tell her that everything was going to be OK, just like it always had but he knew that for now he couldn't. Even if he was there he wouldn'tknow what to say. This time he couldn't make it better.


"Miss Lane?" Dr. Klein poked his head into my room, "Phone call for you, it's Clark."

I took a deep breath and reached for the phone. "Hello." I tried to sound happy but it didn't work.

"Hi, how are you feeling?" Clark also was trying to sound bright.

"A little green but OK. How 'bout you?"

"Dizzy but better."

For a moment there was silence.

"Lois, who did this?" Clark asked.

"I don't know but I think someone put it in my food somehow. I thought it tasted strange."

Again there was silence.

"Lois, we're going to get through this, just like we've gotten through everything else." Clark paused, "I love you, Lois."

I nodded to the phone. "What did you tell Perry?" I asked changing the subject. The more I thought about loving Clark the more upset I got at the thought of never being able to feel his embrace again.

"I said you weren't feeling well, but you'd be back soon." Clark was trying to reassure me, but it just made me feel worse.

"I have to go." I swallowed back the tears that where forming. "I love you, Clark." I gently replaced the phone on the receiver and lay down on the hospital style bed in my room. Clark's words kept appearing in my mind and though I didn't know how, I knew he was right. We'd get through this.


That night I was awakened by the sound of something hit the floor. I climbed out of bed to investigate as always, I just couldn't help myself. I shuffled across the tiled floor and pulled open the large wooden door of my room. "Hello?" I said praying that there wouldn't be a response. "Is anyone…"All of a sudden I felt a sharp blow to the head. Everything went black.


When I finally came to I found myself in the back of a moving van. My hands and feet where tied but I hadn't been gagged, a choice which I'm sure my captors later regretted.

"How you feeling Kryptonite kid?" One of the men teased.

I was now in not just a bad mood, I was seething "What!" I screamed loudly obviously surprising them. "How am I feeling? How do you think I'm feeling, you, you, insensitive males! You obviously have no finesse whatsoever, I mean an ape can hit someone over the head, excuse me for insulting your mothers! Now just let me go right now before I call the police and have you all locked away forever, doomed to rot in prison!" All of a sudden I realized what I was doing. I was screaming at dangerous criminals with guns and no Superman to save me, this was even out of character for me. I silenced and sat back, wriggling to get free.

Either the men where amused by what I was saying or they just took twenty minutes to compute the English language. I don't know but for whatever reason they sat in stunned silence for the remainder of the journey. I couldn't help but feel pleased at my outburst.

A short time later the van stopped and I was pushed out into what looked like a large warehouse. I squinted to see in the dimly lit room. My eyes soon spotted a large sign saying "WELCOME TO INTERGANG LTD" I shook my head; Metropolis had to be the only city where the criminals actually had a welcome sign.

"What am I doing here?" I asked anyone who was listening.

"You, Miss Lane, are both the bait and the trap." A sickeningly sweet voice sounded from behind me.

I turned to have my suspicions verified as my eyes rested on Mindy Church, her fur coat draped over her shoulders. "What?" I queried not liking where this was heading.

"The original plan was to expose Superman to you i.e. Kryptonite but unfortunately you were just too smart for us. So I plan to lure Superman to save you and we all know what will happen when he does." She smiled a cunning smile. "Why are we still here? First stop Metropolis bridge."

I was roughly pushed into the back of the van. I struggled to see my location but I couldn't, it was too dark. As I felt the van's motor begin to rev my heart began to race. I'd been inches from death a hundred times before but this time if I called Superman it meant his death, if I didn't, it meant mine.


The alarm of STAR Labs sounded loudly. "What happened?" Superman flew to the scene to find Dr. Klein pacing anxiously on the sidewalk.

Dr. Klein quickly turned off the alarm. "I had to reach you, Miss Lane has been kidnapped." His eyes where full of worry, "I was in working late on the antidote when I heard voices and came to investigate, apparently so did Miss Lane. Anyway I was knocked out, when I came to I was alone. The reason I called you is that I don't think she'll try to call. She knows what'll happen."

Superman's mind started racing "What's going on with the antidote?"

"I haven't finished experimenting yet." Dr. Klein started pacing again.

"Do you have one that you think will work ready?" Superman was desperate.

"Well I haven't finished testing so if it works you'll be immune to Kryptonite forever but if it doesn't even momentary exposure to Kryptonite will prove fatal."

"I'll do it." Superman followed Dr. Klein toward the lab and drank the liquid in the small glass tube he was handed. "Thanks." He smiled a smile of hope and flew to save the woman he loved as he had done so many times before.


"This won't work!" I tried to convince my captors; part of me knew it wouldn't have an effect but I could at least try.

"Oh yes it will." One of the masked men laughed.

I looked down at the millions of gallons of rushing water below. The night was eerily silent apart from the loud noise of the traffic behind me. My mouth was dry with fear, There was nothing I could do this time. I had a gun held to my head and even if I did break free no cars would stop. This was a popular suicide point. My foot almost slipped, I gritted my teeth trying not to fall. The men where just holding me there, obviously giving me time to think, to fear. I could swim, but from where I was I wouldn't have a chance, even if I survived the force of hitting the water. There was no way that I could make it to shore. Metropolis river was infested with sharks.

The men pushed me closer to the edge, tears began to well up in my eyes; the saddest tears I'd ever felt, tears of hopelessness. With a deep breath I reminded myself that I couldn't let myself scream. The men pushed me hard. I was surprised to find that as I began to fall my feelings where no longer ones of dread but just a knowing that everything would work out fine just as it always had.

For a few moments it felt like time stood still. I felt like I was suspended in mid air. All of a sudden I found my self screaming, louder than I'd ever screamed before. A moment later I found that I wasn't falling anymore. I was flying. I opened my eyes to look into the eyes of the man I love. I tried to speak, to warn him but I couldn't seem to open my mouth.

As if reading my thoughts he answered my unvoiced question, "I took the antidote." He smiled as he flew high above the city. He didn't tell me that it might not work and I might never have known if he hadn't have started to look so sick.

"Superman!?" I screamed shakily holding up his head. He was flying all over the place now as if he couldn't see straight. For a moment I closed my eyes wishing that everything would work out. To my surprise a moment later he lifted his head, his colour was back and he was looking not only healthy but happier that I had ever seen him before. Later I found out why. He was safe now, we both where.