By Sara Kraft (email@example.com)
Summary: Lois prepares for her wedding, with Martha and Ellen to help. And over in Clark's apartment, Jonathan tries to ease his son's fears about the upcoming wedding night. (The misspelling, "Teh," in the title is deliberate — a tribute to all of the author's IRC friends. :-)
This is my second attempt at fanfic. I started this piece before INPY and finally got around to finishing it after the episode aired. I must warn those looking for any trace of an A-plot, will not find any here. For those FoLCs who wanted a longer more romantic wedding than TBTB gave us, I hope this helps. I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it. Any and all comments are encouraged and welcomed at firstname.lastname@example.org. Please let me know what you think.
Author's Note: Words surrounded by asterisks imply emphasis. And for those of you wondering, I chose to misspell the 'teh' in the title in honor of all my IRC friends, and also to differentiate my story from all the other wedding stories out there.
A *SUPER* thanks goes to Kathy Brown (KathyB on IRC), who took the time to edit and revise for me *twice*.
"Lois, don't you go anywhere now," Ellen warned from the open doorway, "I'll be right back, I just have to get a few things from the car." She finished as she was walking out the door.
"Don't worry, Mother, I'm not going anywhere." Lois assured her excited mother with a nervous smile. Lois started to pace and fidget with her hands, as the door closed behind her mother.
"Lois, you look nervous, honey. What's wrong?" Martha asked, putting a hand on Lois' shoulder trying to comfort her.
Lois stopped pacing and faced Martha, "Oh Martha," beginning to babble, "I'm just afraid that Clark is going to have to run off and save somebody during the ceremony. And I won't be able to think of a good excuse because I'll be so upset and embarrassed. And …"
"Oh, honey, don't worry. You know how much Clark loves you. He wants this day to be perfect just as much as you do." Martha reassured her. She lowered her voice to a whisper and added with a smile, "Besides, I hid all his suits in a lead- lined trunk back in Smallville."
Lois unsuccessfully tried to stifle a giggle as her mother walked back in the room with an armful of things.
"What's so funny, what did I miss this time?" Ellen questioned.
"Oh nothing," Martha and Lois said at the same time, grinning.
"Fine," Ellen said with a look of defeat, knowing she would not be let in on yet another one of their inside jokes. "Anyway, Lois, I brought you some essentials. Something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue." Ellen recited the old tradition as she unloaded the items on to the coffee table.
"Ah, mom," Lois said, feeling somewhat overwhelmed, "You didn't have to do all this."
"Yes I did, I want this wedding to be perfect." Ellen insisted as if the wedding was her own. She held up a beautiful pearl necklace, "We'll start with this, something borrowed. Now this was your great-grandmother's necklace that she wore on her wedding day and my mother wore on hers, and I wore it on my wedding day … even though we know what a waste of time and money that day was."
"Mother! If you bring up Daddy's leaving *one* more time, you can leave, and I meant it. I will not have *anyone* ruining my wedding day." Lois exclaimed. Then almost immediately regretted it, seeing the hurt look on her mother's face.
"I'm sorry, dear," Ellen started to apologize, "It's just, I still can't get over the fact that he'd rather be in Istanbul working on cyborgs than at his own daughter's wedding."
No, Mom, I'm sorry. It's not your fault he walked out on us or that he's on an *important* assignment in Istanbul, of all places," rolling her eyes at the thought , "Let's just forget about Daddy for today, all right?" Ellen nodded solemnly as Lois took the necklace gently and put it on, "It's beautiful, Mother, thank you," Lois said, changing back to the original subject.
"Now for the new," Ellen continued as if she hadn't just been yelled at, "I bought these wonderful little pearl earrings to match the necklace." She held up the small velvet box containing the earrings.
"Thank you, Mother," Lois said as she took them and put them on, "They're lovely."
"Something old …" Ellen started.
Interrupting Ellen, Martha asked, "Uh, Ellen, if you don't mind, could I cover the something old and something blue?"
Ellen sighed, "Sure, Martha, go ahead." she said, slightly upset.
Martha started to explain herself, feeling slightly guilty, "I wouldn't otherwise, but this is *really* important."
"No, Martha, that's okay, I'll just go check on the church, see if it's ready." She said as she left, obviously disappointed.
"Sorry, Lois, I didn't mean to make her leave." Martha said apologetically.
"That's okay, Martha. She was starting to get on my nerves a little. She'll get over it soon. It's just that with her wedding not turning out so well, she wants mine to be perfect. She *does* over-do it sometimes."
"Well, now for the old and blue," Martha said as she walked over to her bag to pull out an aged blue blanket. "I've been saving this for a special day."
Lois gasped, putting her hands over her mouth. She recognized the blanket immediately, "Martha, this isn't …?" Martha nodded and Lois continued, "I remember this from when Clark and I went back in time to Smallville. And Tempus was trying to …" Lois stared, unable to finish.
Martha nodded again, "Yes, this is the blanket we found Clark in, when he was a baby." She handed it over to Lois.
Lois started to take the blanket in her hands with the utmost care. "Oh, Martha, I can't …" trying to hand it back to Martha.
"Lois, I *insist*," Martha said, pushing it back towards Lois. "It belongs to you and Clark now."
"I don't know what to say." Tears filling her eyes.
"Try 'thank you', dear." Martha suggested with a smile.
"Thank you, Martha," giving her soon to be mother- in-law a hug.
Jonathan looked up to the ceiling of his son's apartment to his son who was pacing about five feet in the air. "Clark, son, why don't you come back down to earth to pace?"
"I can't, Dad," Clark whined, "You know I always levitate when I'm *nervous*."
"Son, what's bothering you? I wasn't *this* nervous when I married your mother."
"I don't know. It's not so much the wedding, dad, it's the …" Clark started, unable to finish. He floated the rest of the way to the ceiling as the mere thought crossed his mind.
"Honeymoon?" His father guessed, finishing the sentence for his son. He sat down on the couch as he said, "Oh, I see. Clark, why don't you come down here and sit." He said, motioning to the spot beside him.
Clark managed to bring himself down and sit next to his father. "Right Dad, the honeymoon." He paused, uncomfortable about the subject. "What if … What if I … " unable to get the full statement out.
"Hurt her?" Jonathan supplied once again. "I thought this might come up."
Clark started to rise again but caught himself and came back down, "Dad, what if I *hurt* Lois?" Repeating his father. "I … I've never …"
"I know, son," Jonathan stopped him and said reassuringly, "I know."
Lois looked in the full-length mirror at her wedding gown. Her dress was long and white, embellished with lace trim. The gown had short sleeves to show off her slender arms and a v-neck to expose her attractive collar bone. Her hair was swept up into a graceful French twist.
She was overflowing with delight as she looked at the reflection of herself and her mothers. "Life couldn't be more perfect," Lois thought to herself.
She almost started to cry tears of joy but before she could, Martha said, "Oh no, honey, don't cry, you'll ruin your make-up." So instead of crying, she turned to her mothers, one at a time, and gave them each a great big hug.
"Just think, in a matter of hours, I'll be Mrs. Lois Lane-Kent." Lois said with a smile almost too big for her face. The three women turned back to the image in the mirror and smiled.
Ellen broke the tranquil, blissful moment, "So, what are we going to do for an hour, before we head off to the church?" as she sat down on the nearby couch. Martha and Lois followed, as Ellen came up with an answer to her own question. "I know! We could make a list of baby names!" She said excitedly.
"Mother!" Lois started to protest but then thought better of herself, "That's not such a bad idea. It might be fun."
Martha found a pad of paper and a pencil on Lois' desk and resumed her seat on the couch. She took the pencil in hand and titled the paper The Kent Children. "Okay, let's begin," she said with a grin.
Feeling in an unusually relaxed and humorous mood, Lois suggested jokingly, "How about Kal-El?" she said before bursting into a fit of giggles. She looked over at Martha who immediately joined her.
Ellen, obviously left out of the private joke said, "Calal? What kind of name is that? And *what* on *earth* are you laughing at?"
"Not … on …*earth* … Mother," Lois managed to get out between giggles before erupting into another fit of laughter along with Martha.
Clark jerked to attention when he heard Lois scream. He tuned in his super hearing only to discover that it was a scream of laughter. He caught on to their conversation —He heard his soon to be mother-in-law, who was obviously left out some kind of private joke say, "Calal? What kind of name is that? And *what* on *earth* are you laughing at?" Then he heard Lois trying not to laugh as she spoke "Not … on … *earth* … Mother." He gave a half-hearted chuckle at his own expense. Finally, he heard his fiancee and his mother burst into laughter.—
"Clark, Clark," Jonathan said, trying to get his son's attention, "What is it, what do you hear, son?"
Clark shook his head, seeming to tune out his super hearing with the movement. "Oh, oh nothing. I just I heard Lois scream … ," he started, a feeling uneasy as he realized what exactly it was that the three most important women in his life were doing. "Oh, no!" Clark exclaimed, even more worried than before. Burying his head in his hands, "Oh no, *dad*!"
"What is it, Clark?" Jonathan asked, really worried now, "What's happened to Lois? Is she hurt?"
"No, no, dad, nothing like that," reassuring his father, "It's worse, they're already picking out baby names!"
"Oh, heh," Jonathan let out a sigh of relief that came out as more of a chuckle. "Heh, is that all?"
"Whadya mean is *that* all? Lois is already planning on having kids, and I … well … I haven't even … I don't even know if … if I can … without … or if … " Clark stuttered, unconsciously rising with each word.
"Well son, I guess that brings us back to the topic at hand, the wedding night." Jonathan said as he pulled his son off the invisible chair, that rested three feet in the air, and back down to the couch. "Clark, do you remember Miracle?"
"Of course I remember Miracle. She was the *best* dog anyone could ever ask for. But what does she have to do with my wedding night?"
"You'll see, I'll get to that soon. Do you remember the day we found her and you saved her from the fire in the barn?" he continued after getting an inquiring nod from Clark. "Well as you recall, she didn't get burned at all, right?"
"Right Dad, not even a mark on her."
"Well, we always assumed that it was because of how fast you moved to get her out."
"But Dad, remember I told you about that burning ember fell on her and bounced right off. Why didn't that set her on fire?"
"Well son, I've been thinking for a while, about that. You know that aura that extends from your skin?"
"Yeah, that's why my clothes and the suit are indestructible while I'm wearing them, it extends a few millimeters."
"Well, maybe not, son. I think it extends further than that. That would explain why the flames couldn't touch Miracle. And so …"
"And so," Clark interrupted with a new enthusiastic understanding of his powers. "It would protect Lois when we are together," he said, jumping up from his seat excitedly to give his father a hug. "Thanks, dad, you're the greatest." Clark's eyes wandered up to the clock on the wall, "Omigosh, we're gonna be late!"
The church was filled with friends and loved ones who had come to witness what would be the most remembered wedding of all time. Clark was standing in the front of the church, facing the large arched doorway through which his partner-best friend-fiancee-soon-to-be-wife would walk, in just minutes. Clark was as nervous as he had ever been, but at the same time surcharged with overwhelming love and happiness, and by all means doing his best *not* to float. As the church began to fill with the soft melody of Pachelbel Cannon in D, Clark looked over to his best man and saw that in addition to the same black tux, Jimmy was wearing the same mile-wide smile as he. First to come through the door and down the red- carpeted aisle was Lois' sister, Lucy. The pride was evident in her face as she walked and smiled at all her onlookers, especially Jimmy. After what seemed like forever, Lois started her promenade down the aisle escorted by the man closest to a father as one could get, Perry. Clark noticed Lois looking wide-eyed at his feet and then giving him a discreet glare. He quickly came back to the ground before anyone noticed. Lois beamed as she finally reached the altar, where she and Clark turned towards each other and took each others hands.
The minister began, "Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today in the presence of God to join this couple in holy matrimony … Do you, Clark, take thee, Lois, to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forth?"
Clark looked into Lois' eyes, trying to choke back tears, he said, "I … do."
"Do you Lois, take thee, Clark, to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forth?"
"I do," Lois stated with a gleam in her eye.
"The rings?" the minister asked.
"Right here," Jimmy produced two gold bands in the palm of his hand. Lois and Clark unlatched their hands to reach for the rings.
"Lois, repeat after me. With this ring. I thee wed," the minister continued.
Lois took the ring and slid it ever so slowly on to Clark's finger as she looked him in the eyes and said, "With this ring, I thee wed."
"Clark, repeat after me. With this ring, I thee wed."
Clark gently uttered the simple, meaningful words as he delicately slipped the ring on to Lois' finger. Lois and Clark became entranced in each otherís eyes. They looked at each other, both thinking of all that they've been through to get to this moment. The pair looked about ready to burst with tears of triumph and joy.
They were broken from their spell by the minister's words, "Now the bride and groom will exchange the vows they have written."
Lois went first, Clark awaiting her words in rapt attention. "Clark, you are my savior, my knight in shining armor. You have changed my life in many ways, but most importantly, you rescued my soul. You taught me how to love, in fullness and without boundaries. I promise to love, honor and cherish you until the day I die. I love you with all of my heart and all of my soul. Clark Jerome Kent, I am yours forever."
Clark, his eyes brimming with tears, the words flowed out straight from his heart, "Lois, I love you. I've loved you since the moment I met you and I'll never stop loving you. Our love is stronger than me alone, and that love will never die. I promise to protect you and cherish you for as long as I live. Lois Lane, I am yours for forever and a day."
The minister concluded the ceremony, "By the power vested in me and the city of Metropolis, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride."
After hearing those long awaited words, Clark took his new wife in his arms and gave her a long passionate kiss. With their heads together and their lips still close, they smiled at each other and finished with a short deep kiss. They then turned to their friends and loved ones, holding hands, for the first time as Mr. and Mrs. Kent.
The bride and the groom were soon at the banquet hall, followed by their guests. The sumptuous dinner was enjoyed by all and now it was time for the cutting of the cake. They all approached the beautiful seven layer cake. Clark stood close behind Lois, his left arm around her waist and his head lingering over her right shoulder as they held the knife together in their hands. The newlyweds cut a large piece and put it onto a small plate. Lois took a finger-full of cake and held it near Clark's mouth, as he gently kissed her finger and tasted the cake. Then in turn, Lois did the same. As Lois was finishing off the remains on his finger with a kiss, she used a free hand and blindly found the handful of cake she was seeking. As she was pulling away from his hand, she brought her arm around and smeared his jaw with cake and frosting. She giggled, wearing a satisfied grin on her face.
"You know of course," Clark started as he wiped the frosting from his mouth, "that this means war!" He grabbed a big handful of cake and covered Lois' face in frosting.
Soon the whole bottom layer of the cake was no longer. Lois and Clark fell laughing into each others arms, covered in their own wedding cake. The crowd surrounding them, laughing hysterically, was quite amused by the couple's playful feud. Clark took Lois' white and pink face in his similarly colored hands and gave her a kiss, looking for more than the frosting on her lips. As he pulled away somewhat winded, he took some of the sugary remains with him and tasted it.
Jimmy looked at the wedding photographer, slightly jealous, "Where's an extra camera when you need it?" He asked no one in particular.
"Geez, get a room you two," Perry called out, much to the amusement of the other guests, who started laughing again.
Lois and Clark heard Perry's bellow, and finally remembered that they weren't alone. "Uh," Clark started and looked around starting to turn red underneath the patches of white, "Lois, and I should…"
"We should probably go clean up," Lois finished the sentence for her embarrassed husband, feeling slightly foolish herself. "Excuse us please," Lois said as she led Clark by the hand to the nearest restroom.
After making sure no one else was in there, Lois and Clark went into the ladies room and locked the door behind them. Alone with Lois, Clark finally took off his smudged glasses and set them on the vanity. Lois went into a stall to take off her dress and handed it to Clark over the door. He took the dress and stepped into that famous spin. In a matter of seconds, his tux and her dress were clean of frosting and cake. He handed Lois her dress back. As he waited for her to dress, Clark walked over to the vanity, retrieved his glasses and cleaned them. He had just put them back on when Lois emerged from the stall in her dress.
Lois surveyed the room, seeing the frosting that now covered the walls she said teasingly, "Clark Jerome Kent, how on *earth* did you get this place so filthy?"
"Awh, it's nuthin' a few paper towels and two seconds won't fix," Clark said as he started walking towards his new wife.
They exchanged smiles as they neared each other. "Here, let me get this," Lois said as she reached up to his chin to kiss off some remaining frosting. Her lips lingered near his face, planting brief kisses along his jaw and then moving up to his lips. Clark took Lois' face in his hands and responded, intensifying the exchange of desire.
"Thank you …Mrs. Kent," Clark said softly in between kisses.
Lois cracked a smile, parting their lips slightly. "That sounds nice, 'Mrs. Kent'," Lois said, repeating the phrase, obviously pleased with it. "Hey listen, that's our song playing."
Caught up in the moment, Clark listened closely for a second, "Yeah, it is."
They started dancing slowly as they listened to "Fly Me to the Moon" coming through the vents in the restroom. They stayed close as they levitated off the floor. The couple continued dancing until the last chords of music faded out.
The dance was ended with a long passionate kiss, their altitude dropping as the level of intensity rose. As they unknowingly came back down to earth, his mouth explored her arched neck. Lois moaned in pleasure and brought her lips back to his. They let their mouths meet again and again.
"I think," Lois started breathlessly against Clark's still probing lips, "we should probably be getting back to our guests soon."
"You think?" Clark repeated, not really hearing what she said for a moment. Her words at last registered in his mind, "Omigosh, the reception!" Clark exclaimed, finally breaking his lips away from Lois.
The newlyweds rushed out of the restroom together, leaving behind the forgotten frosting-covered walls.
Later, outside the banquet hall, the crowd gathered to wish the newlyweds well. A limousine was waiting to take them to the hotel. The vehicle had neatly painted on the back window "Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Marriage". Lois and Clark climbed into the elaborately decorated limousine. The group happily waved good-bye as the vehicle pulled away from the curb.
Inside the limo, the newlyweds were sitting so close that Lois was practically sitting on Clark's lap. Wrapping his arms around his wife, Clark started, "Lois, honey," Lois shifted so that she was facing him and took his hand in hers as he continued, "I want to show you something." She waited patiently as he slipped the gold band off his finger and then did the same to hers. He held the two rings at such an angle so that Lois could see the insides of them.
Lois gasped quietly when she saw a familiar diamond shape engraved on the insides of both rings. She smiled at the small meaningful symbol, because instead of an 'S' within the well-known shape, she saw a heart.
"Our love," Clark started as he returned the bands to their rightful places, "is so powerful, it will last forever. And that's how long I'll love you." He placed a gentle kiss on her hand after the band was in place.
"I love you, Clark," Lois uttered as the limousine slowed to a standstill in front of the hotel where Lois and Clark would spend their first night together as husband and wife.
Later that night at the banquet hall, two janitors entered the ladies room with all their supplies in tow. One of them exclaimed, "What on *earth* happened in here?" ;p