An Episode That Might Have Made a Somewhat Nifty Season Premiere – Part One

By Caroline Baker (baker@pegasus.cc.ucf.edu)

Summary: A continuation of the episode "And the Answer Is…" in script form.

This is my version of ATAI's continuation. I didn't write it because I think it's better than what the show's doing, but rather because I had most of the plot and a lot of the scenes worked out way back in June. I never actually wrote it all down until a couple of weeks ago (coincidentally at the same time I heard about the script-writing contest). I swear to God that none of it has come from the season 3 eps.

It glosses over a lot of the issues I'd like to see on the show and I didn't get to include everything I wanted to. And since it's a transition ep, nothing much actually happens. Still, I kinda like it. Please let me know what you think at baker@pegasus.cc.ucf.edu. Keep in mind that I'm just a kid and this is my first fanfic, unless you count one very silly Dr. Seuss poem.

Huge thanks go to Jenn for her feedback and offering to partner with me on this, back when I thought I'd get it done this summer; to Zoomway for helping me with the script format; and to everyone on the IRC for putting up with my questions and babbling.

***

Cast: (abridged version :)

Clark Kent/Superman - Dean Cain Lois Lane - Teri Hatcher Jimmy Olsen - Justin Whalin Perry White - Lane Smith Martha Kent - K Callan Jonathan Kent - Eddie Jones Nigel St. John - Tony Jay Bill Church, Jr. - Bruce Campbell Flunky - Michael Landes Lex Luthor - John Shea

TEASER:

INT. LOIS' APARTMENT -VIEW THROUGH LIVING ROOM WINDOW TO EXT- 1

Superman and Lois, with her arms around his neck, come into the shot as he descends and opens the window. It's the same night that ATAI left off, but it's no longer raining.

INT. LOIS' APARTMENT -LIVING ROOM- CONTINUOUS 2

Superman opens the window and steps in. He sets Lois down, but he keeps his hands on her waist and she keeps her arms around his neck. He kisses her near her ear.

SUPERMAN
Oh … Wait a minute.

He winces, then rubs his head vigorously. Miraculously, the grease disappears, and he has his normal, extremely attractive CK hairstyle back.

SUPERMAN (CON'D)
That's much better.

LOIS
Cute, Kent.

Superman takes Lois' hand and brings it up to his lips. Lois steps even closer to him.

LOIS (CON'D)
Where did you get this ring?

SUPERMAN
(looking as if he's still preoccupied with kissing Lois)
I returned all the diamonds to Mazick's, if that's what
you're asking…

Lois lightly smacks his chest, like she often does when they're talking. (Who can blame her?)

LOIS
I know that. I was just wondering—

SUPERMAN
(shyly)
I made it for you.

LOIS
Really?

SUPERMAN
I wanted it to be special …

LOIS
Oh, you're so sweet.

She grabs him and engages in what could be called a "tonsil hockey" kiss. He becomes pretty involved and doesn't notice that they've started to HOVER A FEW INCHES ABOVE THE FLOOR. Lois opens her eyes.

LOIS
Clark…

SUPERMAN
Mmmm?

LOIS
You're, um, levitating.

SUPERMAN
These tights— Oh. Off the floor.
Right, sorry.

HE LOWERS THEM BACK DOWN while Lois tries not to giggle. She reaches up and plays with the hair at the back of his neck.

LOIS
(seriously)
Clark, you know I love you. But there's still a lot I
need to think about.

SUPERMAN
I understand. I guess I'll see you tomorrow at the
Planet?

LOIS
(smiling)
Yeah.

They kiss once more.

SUPERMAN
I love you. Good night.

LOIS
Good night.

He quickly reslicks his hair, running his hand through it. He FLIES AWAY. Lois stands at the window for a moment, then shuts it.

ACT ONE:

INT. LOIS' APARTMENT -KITCHEN- 3

Lois is on the phone, wandering around the kitchen, looking for food.

LOIS
…thanks, Lucy… I want you to be
my maid of honor, okay?

She rummages through the fridge and pulls out a container. Her eyes widen and she quickly throws it in the trash.

LOIS (CON'D)
… Very funny. I think you meant to say,
"Who's the lucky guy?" Yeah, all right.
.. Well, you remember that bus you told me
to chase?
(giggling a little)
… I never said that! … Well, okay, but I meant "hack
from Nowheresville" in a good way. … I did! … Yeah,
gorgeous. Mmmm … No, that doesn't qualify as
gushing, thank you very much.

Lois opens and closes cabinets and disgustedly shakes the empty coffee package. She tosses it aside and notices a box of oolong tea. A dreamy expression crosses her face.

LOIS (CON'D)
I wonder what he's doing right now?

INT. CLARK'S APARTMENT -BEDROOM- 4

Clark is FLOATING above and to the left of his bed, asleep.
When his alarm clock rings, he CRASHES to the floor, perhaps bouncing a few times. He reaches up to fumble with the alarm, then staggers to his feet. He mumbles to himself.

CLARK
Why do I do this to myself? Every single day …

He makes his way over to his hidden closet and pulls out a Superman costume. He sighs and uses his HEAT VISION to iron out the wrinkles in the cape.

CLARK
Nobody commits crimes this early in the morning…
Why can't I do this, like, in the afternoon? …Yeah, that
would sound good. "Chief, sorry I missed that staff
meeting. I was flying around the city."

He carries the suit with him into the bathroom. There are OS WATER RUNNING AND WHOOSHING NOISES. He comes out a few seconds later, wearing the tights and generally looking much fresher.

SUPERMAN
Probably just going to end up rescuing cats from the
evil clutches of trees again …

He catches his reflection in a mirror, makes a face, then wipes the toothpaste off his chin.

INT. LOIS' APARTMENT -KITCHEN- 5

Lois is making her tea, still talking on the phone.

LOIS
Well, I wouldn't call him romantic, exactly … But he's
just so sweet. More earnest than romantic, I guess…
But being earnest is important too! Know what I mean?

EXT. SKY -ABOVE METROPOLIS- 6

Superman FLIES over the city, scanning for trouble and looking quite the hero. His SUPERHEARING focuses in on OS DESPERATE MEOWING. He rolls his eyes.

SUPERMAN
This sounds like a job for Superman.

INT. LOIS' APARTMENT -KITCHEN- 7

LOIS
…No, we haven't set a date yet. In fact, there's a lot of
things we need to talk about… No, things are super.
There's just some stuff we need to work out… Well,
for some reason I was thinking of November, but
that's just so soon …
(laughs)
That's not true, we went on a few dates… Yeah, June
really is the perfect month, but somehow the idea of
May appeals to me…Yeah, we have to talk about it. …
So who's this Bruce guy you're seeing?

INT. CLARK'S APARTMENT -BEDROOM- 8

Clark is standing in front of his wardrobe, looking pleased with himself, cordless phone propped on his shoulder. He picks up two ties.

CLARK
(to himself)
Hmm. Dinosaurs, or eggplants?
(out loud)
Thanks, Mom.

INT. KENT FARMHOUSE -KITCHEN- 9

Martha and Jonathan each have a phone.

JONATHAN
Oh, we're so happy for you, son.

MARTHA
Clark, this is wonderful— you did tell her that you're
Superman, didn't you?
(said in a sort of "answer this correctly if you want to
be called my son" voice)

INT. CLARK'S APARTMENT -BEDROOM- 10

Clark finishes getting dressed as he talks.

CLARK
Well, I tried to…

MARTHA
(heard through phone)
Clark!

CLARK
But she already knew.

INT. KENT FARMHOUSE -KITCHEN- 11

JONATHAN
But how did she …?

INT. CLARK'S APARTMENT -BEDROOM- 12

CLARK
(grinning)
You know Lois. No one gets to the story before she
does.

INT. LOIS' APARTMENT -LIVING ROOM- 13

Lois is settled comfortably on her couch, sipping her tea and smirking at the women's magazine she's reading, particularly at one of the more lurid articles, "How To Turn Your Man Into A SUPERman." She's not paying any attention to the LNN report on her TV.

CLOSE UP: TV

LNN REPORTER
(in front of prison)
Reporters flocked to Metropolis' Men's Prison this
morning to hear the statement released by Lex Luthor
on the death of his one-time butler and alleged killer
Nigel St. John. We'll be bringing that to you later this
morning. And now, back to the studio.

LNN ANCHORMAN
(in studio)
Thank you, Gloria. It's 8:49. Here's Mark with the
weather …

DIFFERENT ANGLE

Lois' head jerks up, and she checks her own watch.

LOIS
Oh, damn!

She hastily puts her mug down, tosses the magazine on the couch, turns off the TV, and gathers up her things, rushing out of the apartment.

INT. CLARK'S APARTMENT -KITCHEN- 14

Clark's wrapping up his conversation. He glances at his watch.

CLARK
Ooh! I gotta be at work… Sure, I'll ask her. Thanks…
Yeah, I love you too. Bye.

INT. DAILY PLANET -FIRST FLOOR- 15

Lois and Clark are waiting in front of the elevators. Lois jabs at the button a few times while talking to Clark.

LOIS
So did we completely miss the boat on this Luthor
thing, or what?

CLARK
Well, Applegate and Siegel were there covering it …

He gives the button a poke of his own.

LOIS
What happened?

CLARK
Actually, nothing. Luthor didn't have anything new,
or even anything particularly interesting, to say.
(shrugging)
It sounds like he just misses getting attention.

LOIS
Hm. Say, how do you know all this, anyway? You just
got here.

The elevator doors open; Lois and Clark get in.

INT. DAILY PLANET -ELEVATOR- 16

Clark waits for the doors to close. He clears his throat.

CLARK
Well, ya know …
(tugs on his ear)

Lois stares at him for a moment, then shakes her head.

LOIS
(deadpan)
Of course.

INT. DAILY PLANET -PIT- 17

Jimmy is standing up, going through some papers on his desk.
He looks up to see Lois and Clark come in.

JIMMY
Hey, guys! Congratulations!

Everyone looks at the couple and starts applauding. Lois and Clark are a bit confused.

LOIS
Jimmy, how does everyone—

JIMMY
(doing a decent Perry impression)
This is a *news*room, Lois!

Perry comes out of his office.

PERRY
Hey, hey. It's about time, you two. Watchin' the two
of you has been like waitin' for Elvis to get his discharge
from the Army.

He shakes Clark's hand then gives Lois a hug.

JIMMY
(to Clark)
Perry says Alice told him the news.

CLARK
Alice?

PERRY
Well, let's get back to work. This is a newsroom
we're running!

Jimmy tries not to crack up at his prescient imitation.

PERRY
Something funny, son?

JIMMY
No, Chief. In fact, I had an idea I wanted to talk
to you about.

PERRY
All right, then.

They go into Perry's office. Lois and Clark go to their desks, amused.

CLARK
So what happened to that article on the museum
opening?

LOIS
Boring. But it's just about done. Any new angles
on the factory explosion?

CLARK
No, it's pretty straightforward. I—

Clark gets that "superhearing just kicked in" look on his face.

CLARK (CON'D)
Um, Lois, I have to go—

LOIS
(grinning)
Buy me some flowers?

CLARK
Right.

He dashes off. Lois watches him, then starts typing. Perry emerges from his office.

PERRY
Lane! Kent! Get in here!

Lois gets up.

PERRY
Where's Clark?

LOIS
He's checking out a story. What's up?

PERRY
Well, uh, come on in here.

INT. DAILY PLANET -PERRY'S OFFICE- 18

Perry sits down at his desk. Jimmy is standing in there, looking a little frightened.

PERRY
Now, Jimmy, why don't you tell her what you just
told me?

Jimmy winces.

INT. DAILY PLANET -PIT- 19

Clark strolls in. He sets a bouquet of red roses on Lois' desk.
One of the reporters calls out to him.

PLANET REPORTER
Hey, Clark. Perry's looking for you. He's in his office.

CLARK
Thanks.

INT. DAILY PLANET -PERRY'S OFFICE- 20

Clark walks in.

PERRY
Clark. What's this story you were checking out?

Lois glances over at him.

CLARK
Oh, Superman just put out a fire in a building nearby.
Nothing especially newsworthy.

PERRY
Ah, well, Jimmy here has a theory that I need your
input on.

As Perry is talking, Lois quietly sidles up to Clark and wipes some soot off his cheek. He mouths "Thanks" to her.

PERRY (CON'D)
Jimmy?

JIMMY
Well, I was thinkin' …

Lois and Clark look surprised. Jimmy doesn't notice. He holds up a copy of the paper with the article about Mazick killing Nigel on the front (was shown in ATAI).

JIMMY (CON'D)
See, if you look at this picture of Nigel—

LOIS
(interrupting)
Chief, shouldn't we have all of these old papers stored
on computer? I mean, we are fully automated.

PERRY
Huh. I never thought of that.

JIMMY
Well, anyway, this picture looks a lot like a head shot.
You know, for an actor?

The picture does, indeed, look like a head shot.

CLARK
Yeah, so?

JIMMY
And I was thinking about how weird it was hat Nigel,
this great spy, got tricked by someone as dumb as
Mazick. So maybe … Nigel hired an actor who looked
like him and got the actor killed.

LOIS
So you're saying Nigel found an exact double of himself
just in case Mazick wanted to poison him.

JIMMY
Why not? You, Superman, and the Invisible Man
had doubles.

CLARK
That's true …

LOIS
Have you gotten the autopsy report, Jimmy? Compared
that with what we know of Nigel?

JIMMY
No, it hasn't come in yet. But—

PERRY
Well now, stranger things have happened, but I
wanted you two to find out from Superman whether
it's at all likely. Wasn't he there when Nigel died?

LOIS
I think Superman might have rushed off before he
found out all the facts.

CLARK
(protesting)
He was probably concerned about getting you unfrozen.

JIMMY
I bet you're right, Lois. He seems to do that a lot,
doesn't he?

CLARK
(mumbling)
I'll talk to him about it.

PERRY
Lois? Do you remember anything about it?

LOIS
I was frozen, Perry. I didn't really notice whether it
seemed like the real Nigel.

PERRY
Okay. Well, Jimmy, if you can find out anything to
back this up, you can work on it. But it's pretty flimsy.

JIMMY
Gotcha, Chief.

PERRY
So what's this about a lens cap? Ah, Lois, Clark, thanks.

CLARK
Sure.

INT. DAILY PLANET -PIT- CONTINUOUS 21

CLARK
What did he mean, "he seems to do that a lot"?

LOIS
(after a small pause)
Sometimes Superman seems to rush into things
without really thinking them through. Not that I
should be talking, I do the same thing and Superman
has to rescue me, but when he does it—

Clark valiantly tries to keep up. Lois takes a deep breath and smiles.

LOIS (CON'D)
Well, remember that time he set off a nuclear bomb
because he was sure he would be able to disarm it?
He ended up using it to make a field goal.

CLARK
… You're right. I've never really thought about it. I
guess I—
(glancing around)
he just feels so invulnerable in the suit that he never
considers the consequences of using his powers.

LOIS
(touching his cheek)
He seems to do all right.

She sits down at her desk and starts typing again. Clark acts like he's working on something at his desk too, but he's really just watching her. Lois rummages around for some notes and sees the roses. She smiles and plays with them a little, then catches Clark staring. They grin at each other. Their fellow workers wink and nudge each other.

INT. DARK ROOM 22

A figure stoops down next to a broken grate (as seen in ATAI) and puts something in his jacket pocket. He pulls out a cellular phone. When he speaks, it is obvious that he is Nigel.

NIGEL
Mr. Church? … The kryptonite has been obtained. ..
Yes, green this time. Righto.

He folds up the phone and puts it in his jacket. He stands up, satisfied. There is, of course, OMINOUS MUSIC in the background.

ACT TWO:

INT. DAILY PLANET -PIT- 23

Lois and Clark are sharing lunch at his desk. Clark is typing something while Lois is looking at some papers. Jimmy is scuttling about in the background, desperately trying to look competent.

LOIS
(pointing to the screen)
Oh, right there, you should change that. Here.

Clark looks at the paper she hands him.

CLARK
Oh, right. Thanks. Hey, Lois, do you
(lowers voice)
want to have dinner with my parents tonight?
They'd really like to see you.

LOIS
What, in Smallville? I'm going to have to get used to
this … Yeah, I'd love to.

CLARK
Good.

JIMMY
Um, Lois? CK?

LOIS
What is it, Jimmy?

JIMMY
Are you really busy this afternoon? Cos I was
wondering if you could check out this thing with the
Nigel look-alike.

CLARK
You can't do it, Jimmy?

JIMMY
No, Perry has me covering a, um, well, a dog show.

CLARK
I see.

Lois looks down and covers her mouth with her hand.

CLARK
Well, we know that guy— who was he, Sammy?—
who had a look-alike agency. We could ask him if
he knows anybody.

LOIS
Yeah. We can check with Bobby Bigmouth too. We'll
get to it after lunch, okay?

JIMMY
Aw, thanks you, guys. I just want Perry to take me
seriously, ya know?

LOIS
Of course you do.

Jimmy heads off.

CLARK
You don't really think there's something to this, do you?

In the background, Jimmy spills a box of pencils onto the floor.
Lois just looks at Clark and raises her eyebrows.

INT. INTERGANG LAIR 24

This is the room last seen in "Individual Responsibility", complete with the large "INTERGANG" map on the wall. Bill Church, Jr is pouring drinks. The kryptonite chunk from ATAI is sitting on a table.

CHURCH, JR
Cigar?

NIGEL
No.

Church lights one for himself. He uses it to wave at Nigel's lapel.

CHURCH, JR
Nice flower.

Nigel glances down at the fairly extravagant flower.

NIGEL
Yes … odorless, though.

CHURCH, JR
(indicating the map)
My guys did a nice job redecorating this place once
the cops went through it, eh?

NIGEL
Lovely.

CHURCH, JR
So. To a new partnership.

NIGEL
Indeed.

They drink.

INT. SAMMY'S OFFICE 25

This is the same office that was in "That Old Gang of Mine."

SAMMY
Hey folks. From the Daily Planet, right?

CLARK
That's right.

They sit down. Sammy looks hard at Clark.

SAMMY
Tell me, are you interested in show business? I had to let Barry go a while back, and I really think you could fill in for him.

CLARK
Barry.

SAMMY
Oh yeah, my Superman look-alike. You're perfect for
the part!

Clark looks dutifully flattered and taken aback.

CLARK
Me? Go on …

LOIS
You know, Clark, I think he might be right. Same
coloring, that cute determined jaw …

Clark glares at her briefly.

LOIS (CON'D)
And look! You'd expect lasers to shoot out of his
eyes when he does that!

CLARK
I think Superman's a lot taller than I am.

SAMMY
Hey, doesn't matter, you can't really tell in the pictures
anyway. Look, here's my card.

CLARK
(dryly)
Well, thanks, I'll keep this in mind.

SAMMY
So what can I do for you?

LOIS
We were wondering if you know anyone who
specializes in finding look-alikes for non-celebrities.
Is there anyone who does that?

SAMMY
Hmm. I don't know of any agencies that do that kind
of thing, but if you have enough resources, it
wouldn't be that hard to find someone who looks like
you. Also, using makeup, imitating mannerisms, and
so on, can do a lot. Heck, I even remember a guy
who doubled for Lex Luthor a couple years back, and
they didn't look anything like each other. I wonder
what happened to him…

CLARK
We think that an actor may have been hired to
impersonate this man.

He takes out a picture of Nigel.

SAMMY
Hey, that's the spy who was killed by that jewelry
guy, right?

LOIS
Yes, Nigel St. John. But it's been suggested that the
man who was killed wasn't really Nigel, but a look-alike.

SAMMY
Kind of brings a new meaning to the term "dead ringer",
huh?

LOIS
… Right.

SAMMY
Well, if this guy— (indicating the picture) really is an
actor, I know some people who would be able to
recognize him. I'll check with them.

Lois and Clark stand up.

CLARK
Thank you, we appreciate it.

EXT. OFFICE BUILDING 26

CLARK
Cute determined jaw?

LOIS
It is cute. Besides, don't you think it was funny?

CLARK
No, not at all.

LOIS
Just a little?

CLARK
(struggling not to laugh)
Nope.

LOIS
(muttering)
I guess you left your sense of humor in your other tights.

A window in the building opens, and Sammy calls down to them.

SAMMY
Ms. Lane! Don't forget that I've still got an opening for the
Madonna impersonator!

Lois suddenly stops walking.

CLARK
(yelling back)
Thanks, Sammy!

Clark falls apart. Lois, trying to retain her dignity, hails a cab.

LOIS
(opening the taxi door)
Get in, flyboy.

CLARK
Yes ma'am.

INT. INTERGANG LAIR 27

Nigel is in the room, just being his villainous self. Bill Church, Jr enters.

CHURCH, JR
Hey, Nigel. Now, I appreciate your bringing the
kryptonite. But I think the time has come for a real
planner to take charge.

Nigel regards him coldly. Oblivious, Church picks up the kryptonite and keeps talking.

CHURCH, JR (CON'D)
The first thing we have to do is kidnap Lois Lane.
That always gets Superman's attention. Then we just
hide some kryptonite in the room with Ms. Lane, and—

NIGEL
No.

CHURCH, JR
Well, if you're bored with kidnapping, we can always
involve Lois in a nice, staged disaster. We've got a lot
of very talented bombers in the Intergang family—

NIGEL
No.

Billy puts down the kryptonite.

CHURCH, JR
No? Why not?

NIGEL
Superman may fly around in Spandex, but he is not
an imbecile. The "save Lois Lane, dodge the
kryptonite, and put the bad guys in prison" routine
has probably become part of his weekly schedule.
How long were you in jail?

CHURCH, JR
You have a point.

NIGEL
He has other weaknesses we can exploit.

CHURCH, JR
Oh? And what might they be?

NIGEL
Trust me.

INT. DAILY PLANET -PIT- 28

Jimmy is tagging after Lois with wide, eager eyes.

CLARK
Did you get that autopsy report yet, Jimmy?

JIMMY
No, I'm still waiting for it.

CLARK
(honestly trying to be concerned)
Do you know what the delay is?

JIMMY
They said it wasn't a very high priority.

LOIS
Jimmy, listen. Unless that report shows something
unusual, you don't have anything to base this on.

JIMMY
Yeah, you're right.
(pause)
So what'd Sammy say?!

LOIS
He said he's going to check with some people he
knows.

CLARK
(quietly)
Among other things.

Lois lovingly elbows him in the ribs.

JIMMY
Okay. Thanks, you guys. Really.


CLARK
No problem, Jimmy.

JIMMY
Also… You, um, said that you might be able to ask
Bobby Bigmouth about it?

He cringes in anticipation of the answer.

LOIS
Oh. Right. Well, we were going to talk to him about
that network conspiracy story, but Perry threw it out…
I suppose we could see him about this instead.

JIMMY
Really? Thanks!

He trots off to pester other photographers. Clark looks at Lois, surprised. She shrugs.

LOIS
It's a slow news day.

INT. STABLES 29

Bill Church, Jr is talking to and brushing his horse (Halley).

CHURCH, JR
Well, Halley, I don't think things have ever looked
better for Intergang. We've got kryptonite. And
we've finally got someone competent helping me out
with the management.

Halley becomes skittish.

CHURCH, JR (CON'D)
Whoa, girl. Whoa.

Halley calms down.

CHURCH, JR (CON'D)
Nigel's good at what he does. And he's really smart.
He knows better than to try to doublecross someone
like me.

INT. INTERGANG LAIR 30

Nigel is sitting at Billy's desk, working at his computer. The room is dark except for the glow from the Intergang map and the computer screen. A flunky is waiting in the shadows.

NIGEL
This is ideal. Intergang real estate businesses have
been anxious to buy this property on Hobbs Bay.
But prices have been too high for Intergang to
purchase. And what does a savvy Intergang
businessman use to drive down prices?

FLUNKY
Bombs, sir.

NIGEL
Exactly. And there are many bombers in the
(distastefully)
"Intergang family." In fact, some of them have a…
certain style. Something that rather declares them as
belonging to the family. If one of their bombs were
to go off, it would be hard to think that Intergang
wasn't responsible.

FLUNKY
Yes, sir.
(he pauses)
I, er, did have an idea, though.

NIGEL
(shortly)
What?

FLUNKY
Okay. Intergang owns MultiWorld Communications,
which was interested in buying the Daily Planet. The
Planet is also known for printing insulting stories
about Intergang and the Churches. That's a motive.

Nigel considers the thought.

FLUNKY (CON'D)
If something has to be blown up, I'd nominate the
Planet instead of this Hobbs Bay thing.

NIGEL
No. It's too risky. Superman is rather … close to the
people and the goings-on at the Planet. He might
catch wind of the bomb and stop it before anything
happens, rendering the plan less effective.

FLUNKY
Well, maybe, but it's not like the guy *works* there
or something…

Nigel gives him the withering Look of Death, as only he can.

FLUNKY (CON'D)
(faltering)
I just thought that maybe the extra publicity from an
explosion at a major newspaper that does have
connections with Superman would bring more
attention to Intergang. Maybe make everyone a little
more eager to catch them—

NIGEL
We'll do it my way.

FLUNKY
Yes, sir.

Nigel prints out a piece of paper, which he hands to the flunky.

NIGEL
Contact the name at the bottom. Tell him that Bill
Church, Jr wants three good, Intergang-quality
bombs set up at these locations, and quickly.

FLUNKY
Smooth.

He leaves the room.

EXT. STREET 31

Lois and Clark are walking back to the Planet, the former attracting some attention from passersby as she seethes.

LOIS
Arrgh! I don't believe Bobby stood us up! Again!
It's just so inconsiderate…

CLARK
Well, the guy is a professional snitch, Lois. They're not the most reliable of people.

LOIS
Yes. But you would think he'd have learned his
lesson after what happened to him *last* time—

CLARK
Yeah, you really would.

LOIS
At least he's not one of these sources who demands lots of money, but still…

CLARK
Lois, we *are* living in a material world.

Lois glares at him, then goes back to ranting. By now, they're very close to the Planet.

LOIS
And that Jimmy kid! He's the one who's been
sending us on a wild goose chase all day.

CLARK
Aw, he's trying…

LOIS
He's a trial, all right.

CLARK
Besides, we got to "share" Bobby's chocolate gelatto.

LOIS
(relaxing)
That's true.

CLARK
How was it, by the way?

LOIS
Pretty darned good. I—

EXT. DAILY PLANET 32

They're interrupted when Jimmy comes barreling out of the revolving doors.

JIMMY
Guys! There you are! Perry says he wants us down
at the Hobbs Bay warehouses. There's a bomb threat
and everything!

Clark looks around, loosening his tie, trying to figure out how he should change into Superman. Lois hails a cab.

CLARK
I, ah…

JIMMY
(checking through his bag)
Oops. Ha ha, I kinda forgot my film. I'll meet you
guys there, okay?

Jimmy runs back through the doors in the Planet. Clark opens the cab door for Lois, resting his hand of top of it. Lois puts her hand on top of his.

LOIS
Be careful.

Clark nods, then dashes off, ripping open his shirt. Lois gets in the taxi and it drives away.

EXT. HOBBS BAY WAREHOUSES 33

Jimmy gets out of a taxi. Lois is interviewing people who were evacuated from the warehouses. SUPERMAN IS FLYING IN AND OUT OF CORDONED-OFF BUILDINGS. As Jimmy starts to snap pictures, one of the buildings EXPLODES.

ACT THREE:

SUPERMAN USES HIS SUPERBREATH TO PUT OUT THE FIRE. Reporters across the street start clamoring as Superman approaches.

LNN REPORTER
Superman! Can you tell us what happened?

SUPERMAN
There were three bombs set to go off in these
warehouses. We were able to evacuate everyone and
defuse two of the bombs, but we ran out of time for
the third.

METROPOLIS STAR REPORTER
Was anyone injured?

SUPERMAN
I believe that two officers suffered minor injuries
from the debris…

LNN REPORTER
Can you tell us—

SUPERMAN
I'm sorry, I have to go check whether the fire
department needs any more help.

Superman FLIES back over to the smoking warehouse. Lois takes notes; Superman soon SWOOPS down to talk with her.

LOIS
Everything under control?

SUPERMAN
Yeah, I think the city can take care of it from here.

They both notice Jimmy, who is obviously eavesdropping.

LOIS
So, Superman… I suppose you heard that Clark and
I are engaged?

SUPERMAN
Yeah! Congratulations.

He kisses her on the cheek.

LOIS
Do you think you'll be able to make it to the
wedding?

SUPERMAN
(sputtering)
Ah… I certainly hope so…
(recovers, folds his arms across his chest, and affects
a deep voice)
But, you know, a superhero can never tell where he'll
have to be at a moment's notice.

LOIS
Of course. We understand.

They both glance over at Jimmy, who clears his throat and turns towards the warehouses, hastily snapping pictures.
Superman walks with Lois a little further from earshot and lowers his voice.

SUPERMAN
I gotta go take care of this suit at my apartment…

LOIS
All right. How about I phone this in and meet you
there?

SUPERMAN
Sounds good. Oh! Hang on, I was supposed to be
here, wasn't I?

LOIS
Er…

SUPERMAN
Back in a flash.

Superman FLIES OFF into one of the buildings; Clark jogs up from the other direction and hands Jimmy some notes.

CLARK
Hey, Jimmy, will you take these back to the Planet?
Lois and I have some more investigating we want to
do.

JIMMY
Sure thing, CK.

LOIS
(looking up from her phone)
I'll catch up with you in a few, Clark. Superman says
"hi."

CLARK
Okay. Seeya, Jimmy.

Superman FLIES OUT OF THE BUILDING AND ACROSS THE SKY.

INT. PRISON -REC ROOM- 34

There are some tables and chairs set up in the mostly isolated room. A TV, bolted to a high corner, is showing the LNN report on the bomb. A few prisoners are playing cards; Lex Luthor is watching the TV.

VOCAL PRISONER
Hey, Luthor! Can I shine your head for a quarter?

Luthor simply sneers at the TV; he's watching Superman answer reporters' questions. As the segment ends, he notices that a man is standing near him. It's Rollie Vale, his robotic limb from "The Phoenix" replaced with a wooden prosthesis.

LUTHOR
Mr. Vale. I thought you'd been killed.

ROLLIE
No, your psycho butler just wounded me.

LUTHOR
What brings you here?

ROLLIE
I got transferred to this wing after the guards and I
had a little disagreement about the right to bear arms.

Luthor grimaces, then gestures at a chair.

LUTHOR
Please, won't you sit down?

Rollie does.

ROLLIE
I had a little information about Intergang that I
thought you mind find interesting.

LUTHOR
And what do you know about Intergang? You're a
former research scientist.

ROLLIE
B.C. Jr and I go way back.

LUTHOR
Really.

INT. CLARK'S APARTMENT -KITCHEN/ LIVING ROOM 35

Superman is sitting in his suit, minus the boots and cape, at the kitchen table. He's polishing the boots; Lois is standing at the sink, dabbing at a corner of the cape.

LOIS
So, Clark. How did you learn to defuse bombs,
anyway?

SUPERMAN
(not looking up from his boots)
Trial and error.

Lois openly gapes at him.

SUPERMAN
I'm kidding!

LOIS
Oh.

SUPERMAN
At first, I'd just fly the bomb to some place without
any people and let it go off there, or I'd smother it
with my body.

LOIS
Or you'd eat it.

SUPERMAN
Yeah… but it didn't take me too long to get to know
the guys on the Metropolis Bomb Squad, and they
taught me a bunch.

LOIS
So my little mild-mannered reporter has bomb squad
buddies?

SUPERMAN
(reaching for a cleaner polishing rag)
Well, they don't know *me*. But, yeah, they've
invited Superman to a few poker games.

Lois looks interested at his wording, but she doesn't say anything. Superman puts down the boot and pads into the living room for his shirt. Lois keeps working on the cape, but turns around to admire the view.

SUPERMAN
(blushing)
What?

LOIS
Oh, I was just wondering something.

Superman has picked up Clark's shirt from the couch and holds it in front of himself.

SUPERMAN
(apprehensively)
What?

LOIS
Whose brilliant idea was it to put underwear on the
outside of the uniform? What is the point of that?

Superman picks up needle, thread, and buttons from the table by the couch and walks over to the sink.

SUPERMAN
Loissss. You know my mom made this suit for me.

LOIS
Clark, I love your mom. But she thinks welding a
triangle is art.

Superman laughs silently and drops the buttons on the floor.
He brings them up to hand-level with his SUPERBREATH and catches them. He starts to sew them back on to the shirt.

LOIS
That's a neat trick.

SUPERMAN
Well, I hope you don't think I'd actually bend over in
this get-up.

Lois laughs.

LOIS
Really, what are those? Jockeys? Briefs?

SUPERMAN
Why don't we just drop it?

LOIS
Why, Clark…

SUPERMAN
I, uh, meant the subject. Drop the subject.

LOIS
Mm-hmm.
(holding up the cape)
Say, this looks pretty good, huh?

Superman puts down the shirt and looks over the cape.

SUPERMAN
Hey, yeah! Thanks.

He reaches for it, but Lois vampishly pulls it around her body and slinks over to the living room. Superman leans back against the counter and watches her. He smiles when Lois stops by the couch.

SUPERMAN
Strike a pose.

Lois flops backwards onto the couch.

LOIS
You're never going to let that go, are you?

Superman walks over and plucks the cape from her, wrapping it around his waist, towel-fashion. He settles down next to her.

SUPERMAN
Sure I will. Like, when our kids are in college.

LOIS
Heh.
(after a small pause)
Clark, do you think we'll even be able to have kids?

SUPERMAN
I'm… I don't know. My… birth father said that he
and his wife— my mother— had searched the known
universe for a planet that was biologically and
physically compatible with Krypton. But I guess they
couldn't know for sure either.

LOIS
But didn't you grow up in Smallville? How do you
know this?

SUPERMAN
They sent me here as a baby, when they realized that
Krypton was going to explode. I learned all this
pretty recently, from the globe I found when we were
investigating Bureau 39.

LOIS
Globe? …I guess that would be the one I thought
you stole from Superman.

SUPERMAN
Yeah. My father somehow programmed it to tell me
about Krypton and why they sent me to Earth.

LOIS
God, no wonder you were upset when it was missing…
wait. Did I refer to you as two people a minute ago?

Superman seems relieved that the mood has been lightened.

SUPERMAN
It's habit-forming, isn't it?

LOIS
I can think of several other habits that I'd rather get
used to.

She takes his face in her hands and kisses him gently. He smiles at her, then kisses her more passionately.

LOIS
Physical and biological compatibility, huh?

Superman makes it hard for her to keep talking. As they move about on the couch, Lois loosens the cape and it falls to the floor. Things have gotten as hot as this time slot gets when the phone RINGS. Lois starts a little; Superman doesn't even notice it.

LOIS
(amused)
Your superhearing didn't pick that up?

SUPERMAN
What?

He covers her mouth again. The phone keeps RINGING.

LOIS
That.

When it continues to ring, he groans and picks up the phone.

SUPERMAN
Hello? …yeah, this is Clark Kent… Well, I usually
don't have any problems contacting Superman.
What's it about?

Lois starts fidgeting: she wants to know too.

LOIS
(mouthing the words)
What's he saying?

Superman wordlessly hands her the cordless phone from the table. She holds it up to her ear, then starts pushing buttons and shaking it.

SUPERMAN
… Okay… Yeah, all right…
(quietly to Lois)
Would you hold still?
(aloud)
Sure, I'll give him your regards… Okay, bye.

He hangs up the phone. Lois hands him the cordless.

LOIS
Your phone doesn't work

SUPERMAN
(sheepishly)
Sorry.

He takes some batteries out of the end-table drawer and replaces the phone's dead ones. As Lois speaks, Superman gets up, putting the partially polished boots in the closet and taking out new ones.

LOIS
So what was that?

Superman hops about, FLOATING FOR A FEW SECONDS, trying to get the boots on.

SUPERMAN
Joe, of the Metropolis Bomb Squad. They found
some new information.

His boots finally on, Superman steps in front of Lois and picks up his cape. He looks her in the eye.

SUPERMAN (CON'D)
He wants to debrief me.

Lois maintains her composure admirably.

LOIS
All right, have fun, dear.

She gives him a quick peck on the cheek. Superman fiddles with his cape, putting it on.

SUPERMAN
I'll meet you back at the Planet. I'm not sure how
long this will take.

LOIS
Okay. Try to dig up some good stuff, will you?

SUPERMAN
Yeah, I know.

Lois adjusts his cape one last time. He smiles at her, then leaves through the back door off the kitchen. Through the kitchen window, Lois sees him FLY past.

INT. DAILY PLANET -PIT- 36

Things are hectic; people are moving into the conference room for a meeting. Jimmy is hurriedly moving around the room, anxious to be helpful.

PERRY
Olsen!

Jimmy stops suddenly and dashes up to Perry.

JIMMY
Yes, Chief?

PERRY
I hope you finished that article on the dog show.

JIMMY
Um, yeah. I just gotta… uh…

Jimmy backs off to his desk.

PERRY
Okay, people! Let's get this show on the road.

INT. DAILY PLANET -CONFERENCE ROOM- CONTINUOUS 37

Most of the reporters are already seated. Perry comes in along with a few stragglers.

PERRY
Lois. I believe you and Clark were there when the
bomb went off.

LOIS
Yeah. Clark's—

Clark hurries in and quickly sits down next to Lois.

CLARK
I was just talking with some guys in the bomb squad.
From the preliminary investigation, this looks like the
same kind of bomb that was used in the attempt at
the courthouse and the explosions at the Lex-Mart
stores.

LOIS
Those were all allegedly done by Intergang.

CLARK
Exactly.

PERRY
This is great, Clark. Now, why would Intergang want
to blow up a bunch of warehouses on Hobbs Bay?

BOB
Credential Realty has been wanting to buy that
property for a long time. Credential also has a lot of
the same stockholders that Costmart does.

CARL
We've been gathering evidence showing that
Credential is really an Intergang-run business. If
we're right, then it would be pretty consistent for
them to use bombs to make the property cheaper.

By now, Jimmy has wandered in.

JIMMY
But doesn't that seem kind of… obvious? Why
wouldn't they just go with sabotage or something?

He is met with stares.

LOIS
Gangsters aren't exactly known for their subtlety,
Jimmy.

PERRY
Sit down, Jimmy. Thank you for that insight, Lois.
Now, Bob and Carl. I need you to fill in Lois and
Clark on this Credential puppy so they can work on
the lead story about the bomb. I want you two to
keep investigating so you can do a follow-up.

BOB
Sure thing, Chief.

PERRY
Ellen, I want you to hold off on that health care piece
and write an analysis of the national rise in bombing
incidents. Maybe you could tie it in with the pending
legislature on weapons control.

ELLEN
Got it.

PERRY
All right, you guys, get to work.

Lois, Clark, Bob, Carl, and Ellen rise and leave the conference room. Perry continues to discuss articles with other reporters.

INT. DAILY PLANET -PIT- 38

Lois walks up to Perry.

LOIS
Would it be okay if Clark and I took off a bit early
today? We have dinner plans.

PERRY
Well, ah, where's my article?

LOIS
I think Clark's putting the finishing touches on it now.

PERRY
(looking at his watch)
Whoo, you two are good.

LOIS
I know.

Clark walks up to the two.

PERRY
So you're just about finished with it, Kent?

CLARK
Oh. Um, yeah. Almost done.
(quietly, to Lois)
I need all of your notes.

LOIS
Okay.

CARL
(from across the newsroom)
Hey, Perry, will you come look at this?

PERRY
Yeah, be right there. Excuse me, you two.

Lois gets her notebook from her desk and hands it to Clark, then walks over to the soda machine. Clark sits down in front of his blank monitor, then FLIPS THROUGH THE NOTES AND TYPES AT SUPERSPEED, filling the screen. He leans back, satisfied.

INT. DAILY PLANET -LANDING- 39

Lois kicks at the soda machine. Clark comes up behind her and flicks it with his finger. The soda can falls into the dispenser and Lois picks it up.

LOIS
Thanks. You finished?

CLARK
Yep. I liked that quote you got from the dockworker.

INT. DAILY PLANET -PIT- CONTINUOUS 40

PERRY
(calling up to them)
Lois, Clark, great job. I'll see you guys tomorrow.

INT. DAILY PLANET -LANDING- 41

LOIS
(calling back)
Thanks, Perry. Good night.

Lois and Clark turn towards the elevators.

CLARK
You ready to fly?

EXT. SKY -ABOVE KENT FARMHOUSE 42

Lois and Clark have both changed into more casual clothes.
CLARK IS HOLDING HER AS THEY FLY DOWN TO THE FARM. Lois is nuzzling his neck; Clark doesn't seem to mind too much.

CLARK
Mmm, Lois … Lois, uh, I'm not going to be able to
land if you keep doing that.

Lois giggles and looks up.

LOIS
What?

CLARK
Ah, the …

He bends his head and kisses her. Lois tightens her arms around his neck. By now, CLARK IS SWOOPING DANGEROUSLY CLOSE TO THE GROUND. In fact, he's a couple of feet short of smashing into it. Clark looks up for a moment, and blinks a few times.

EXT. KENT FARMHOUSE 43

HE SLOWS DRAMATICALLY AND LANDS CLUMSILY BUT GENTLY. Lois stumbles a little, and Clark takes her arm to keep her from falling.

LOIS
(laughing softly)
My hero.

CLARK
(sheepishly)
I guess we're going to have to practice that.

LOIS
Ooh.

Clark grins and brings her closer. They walk together toward the farmhouse. Martha and Jonathan come out with enthusiastic hi's and hugs.

INT. KENT FARMHOUSE -DINING ROOM 44

Everyone is sitting at the table, passing around food.

MARTHA
So did you guys have a good day?

CLARK
I suppose. It was really busy.

JONATHAN
We saw you on the news because of that bomb. Did
you and Lois have to cover it?

LOIS
Yeah, and it looks like Intergang's behind it. It's
always harder to write an article like that, because you
have to be so careful separating the proven facts from
what we think is the truth.

CLARK
Yep. So that took a while. And then Jimmy had us
running around after this crazy theory of his all
afternoon…

LOIS
Oh no, I was trying to forget that.

CLARK
Yeah, but at least when he's working on that, it keeps
him from spying on us for Perry. It's nice to have a
reprieve.

LOIS
(laughing)
That's true.

MARTHA
So what was this theory?

LOIS
He's convinced that Nigel St. John was never really
poisoned, and that he's alive somewhere in
Metropolis.

JONATHAN
But there isn't anything to back it up?

LOIS
We couldn't find anything to even hint that Jimmy
was partially right.

Martha and Jonathan are visibly relieved.

MARTHA
Good.

Clark and especially Lois look confused at Martha's seriousness.

MARTHA (CON'D)
The idea of it is really scary.

CLARK
I hadn't thought about it, but you're right. I mean, he
knew that I'm Superman.

LOIS
He did?

CLARK
And just the fact that he hasn't tried to take advantage
of that implies that he really is dead.

LOIS
Back up a minute. How did he know that you're
Superman?

JONATHAN
Yeah, son, you never quite explained that to us.

CLARK
Well, it's a long story. And it really doesn't make
much sense. Apparently, he found out from Mazick,
who found out from some diary that was written a
hundred and thirty years ago.

MARTHA
You're right, that doesn't make sense.

CLARK
(shrugging)
Anyway, that's what I gathered from what Mazick
said.

JONATHAN
Did anyone ever destroy the kryptonite that Mazick
used on you?

CLARK
(wincing)
No, with everything else going on, I'd kind of
forgotten about it.

MARTHA
Clark, you've got to be more careful than that.

CLARK
I know. I guess Lois and I can look into it tomorrow.

JONATHAN
But you're sure that there isn't anything to this theory,
right?

CLARK
Dad… this is Jimmy we're talking about.

JONATHAN
Okay.

LOIS
What kryptonite?

ACT FOUR:

INT. INTERGANG LAIR 45

Nigel is standing in front of the Intergang map. Bill Church, Jr is reading the latest edition of the Daily Planet, which has Lois and Clark's article prominently featured.

CHURCH, JR
What is this?! They practically accuse me of setting
off that bomb!

NIGEL
Outrageous.

CHURCH, JR
I'm going to get the lawyers on this right away. No
one can get away with this, especially—

The phone RINGS. Nigel picks it up.

NIGEL
Intergang Organizations, here to meet your
laundering, loan sharking, and racketeering needs.

Nigel listens for a moment, then hands the phone to Church, Jr.

NIGEL
It's your father.

CHURCH, JR
Hey, Dad. How's the old ticker? … Wait, don't
blame your blood pressure on me. Just because the
Daily Planet runs some cockamamie story… Dad,
Dad. First of all, I didn't do it… I know…
Switzerland?! Are you insane? Dad, I can't just fly
out there and lay low until this "blows over." I have
things I need to do. … Yeah… All right… Okay,
I'll meet you there when my flight arrives. Bye.

NIGEL
Change in plans?

CHURCH, JR
Yeah. I need to go pack. Now, I can leave you to
look after things?

NIGEL
Of course.

Bill Church, Jr hurries out of the room. Nigel remains and smiles to himself.

INT. DAILY PLANET -PIT- 46

Clark walks in. He sees Lois sitting at her desk and smiles at her, intending to walk over to her. Instead, he bumps into Jimmy.

CLARK
Morning, Jimmy. Everything all right?

JIMMY
Yeah. Well, I guess. The autopsy report just came in.
It shows that the guy who was killed is unequivocally
Nigel St. John.

CLARK
(sympathetically)
That's too bad, Jimmy.

JIMMY
It's so weird. Just last night, your friend Sammy
called, sure that he was on to something big.

CLARK
Well, these things happen…

JIMMY
Yeah.
(brightening)
So how are you and Lois doing? Perry says you had
big dinner plans last night…

Clark rolls his eyes.

CLARK
You know what, Jimmy? You should check out this
thing with Sammy. At least find out what he has to
say. After all, doctors can make mistakes.

JIMMY
You think so, CK?

CLARK
I really do.

JIMMY
Wow. Thanks.

Clark shakes his head and walks over to Lois' desk.

INT. PRISON -REC ROOM- 47

Luthor makes his way in. The Vocal Prisoner, now silent and sporting a neck brace and a black eye, quickly moves out of his way and leaves the room. Luthor sits down; Rollie Vale approaches him.

LUTHOR
Mr. Vale.

ROLLIE
Luthor. Listen. Because of this bomb thing, Bill
Church, Jr is supposedly leaving town.

Luthor just glances at him.

ROLLIE
You don't want to do anything about this? Who do
you think is going to be left in charge?

Silence.

ROLLIE
You don't care?

LUTHOR
Well, Mr. Vale, it's an interesting bit of trivia.

Rollie looks at him disgustedly and leaves the room.

LUTHOR
Very interesting.

He pulls blueprints of the prison out of his uniform and spreads them out on the table, studying them.

INT. DAILY PLANET -PIT- 48

Jimmy walks up to Lois' desk.

JIMMY
Hey, Lois. So how's everything going? (looking at
the vase on her desk) Those are really pretty roses.

LOIS
Thanks, Jimmy. Weren't you going to investigate that
thing with Sammy?

JIMMY
I was planning to, but Perry said I should wait here so
I can take this really important phone call that he's
expecting. In a few hours.

LOIS
Oh. Well, you know what, Jimmy? Sammy's office
is really close to this place I want to take Clark for
lunch. We could stop by there to find out what
Sammy wanted to tell you.

JIMMY
Really?

LOIS
Yep.
(pointedly)
But if I'm going to have time to do that, I need it to be
very quiet so I can finish this.

JIMMY
Ohhhh. Okay.

He tiptoes off.

EXT. OFFICE BUILDING 49

Lois and Clark are walking to Sammy's office.

CLARK
You know, I thought the point of this little exercise
was to keep *Jimmy* busy.

LOIS
Oh, don't be a fussbudget. This'll only take a few
minutes.

INT. OFFICE BUILDING -HALLWAY- 50

LOIS
Hello?

Sammy's secretary comes bustling out of his office.

SECRETARY
Barry! I thought you got a new agent. When did you
get rid of your contacts?

CLARK
Um… I'm not Barry.

LOIS
I'm Lois Lane and this is Clark Kent. We're from the
Daily Planet. Sammy said that he might have some
information for us.

SECRETARY
Well, I wouldn't know anything about that. I think he
mentioned something about it, but…
(shrugs)

LOIS
Do you know when he'll be back?

SECRETARY
He won't be. He called me late last night and told me
he was moving to the Caribbean.

CLARK
Just like that?

SECRETARY
I know, I don't understand it either.
(indicating the shabby surroundings)
Who would want to leave all this for a tropical
paradise?

CLARK
Good point.

LOIS
But you don't know if there was anything he wanted
to give us.

SECRETARY
Well, you're free to look around…

INT. SAMMY'S OFFICE CONTINUOUS 51

They walk in. Files and papers are stacked on the desk, floor, and cabinets.

CLARK
This is all Sammy's stuff?

SECRETARY
Yeah. You guys can take whatever you want; I'm just
supposed to throw it out anyway. Makes my job
easier.
(gestures to the hallway)
I'll be out there.

She leaves. Lois and Clark look at all the stuff stacked around the room, then look at each other and shrug.

EXT. STREET 52

Lois and Clark both carry two gigantic bags as they walk back to the Planet.

CLARK
Man, I hope this Barry guy never needs a patsy for
something.

LOIS
I just think it's funny that you're getting confused
with him, while most of us never noticed your
resemblance to Superman. I mean, taking off your
glasses isn't much of a disguise.

CLARK
It makes a big difference! When I had amnesia, *I*
couldn't figure out I was Superman.

LOIS
Incredible.

CLARK
Well, look at this.

He reaches into his bag and pulls out a picture of GROUCHO MARX and a picture of CLARK GABLE, holding them up next to each other.

CLARK (CON'D)
See, one's wearing glasses, the other one has
his hair slicked back, and they look completely
different!

LOIS
Incredible.

They both stop walking as they notice a mugging in progress in an alleyway. Three thugs are beating up on a guy.

CLARK
I'll be right back.

He puts down his bags and DISAPPEARS AT SUPERSPEED.

EXT. ALLEY 53

Superman SWOOPS into the alley. Lois hurries up to see what's going on.

SUPERMAN
Don't you boys know that three's a crowd?

Superman does his little swagger over to the thugs and PICKS ONE UP IN EACH HAND. As he does so, his arm brushes against the third thug, knocking him off-balance and pushing him towards Lois.

SUPERMAN (CON'D)
Now that's not quite fair, is it?

The third thug tries to run off, but Lois is blocking the way.
He pulls out a knife and holds it up, trying to force Lois to move out of his way. Lois uses a martial arts move to kick the knife out of his hand. It's quite a spectacle, considering the brevity of her skirt. Superman, still holding the two thugs, turns his head and sees what happened. He TIES UP THE TWO THUGS AT SUPERSPEED using rubbish from the alley. He RUSHES TO THE THIRD THUG AND TIES HIM UP too.

SUPERMAN
(to Lois)
Are you all right?

LOIS
I'm fine.

Superman walks back over to the mugging victim. Lois pulls her phone out of her shoulder bag and calls the police.

SUPERMAN
You okay?

MUGGING VICTIM
Yeah. Thanks, Superman. You too, ma'am.

The three stand around, Lois getting more and more impatient, while a couple of cops amble over from the donut shop across the street.

COP #1
What's all this, then?

SUPERMAN
These three guys tried to rob this gentleman.

COP #2
(to Lois)
You a witness?

LOIS
Yeah. I was on my way back to work, actually,
when it happened…

COP #1
(to mugging victim)
Okay, sir, if you'd come with us to the station so we
can get your statement…

Lois looks at her watch.

LOIS
Hey, guys, I can see you're really busy. Here's my
card, you can call me when you need a statement.

She hands her card to Cop #2. He glances at it.

COP #2
All right. Ummm…
(looks at Superman)

Superman pats his suit up and down as if looking for pockets.

SUPERMAN
I don't seem to have my card with me…No… no…
It's not here.

LOIS
I'll let him know when you want to talk with him.
Right, Superman?

SUPERMAN
Okay.

LOIS
(to cops)
I'll see you guys soon, I guess.

Lois walks out of the alley and proceeds down the street.
Superman FLIES OFF.

COP #2
(grinning)
I got her phone number.

COP #1
Shut up, Johnson.

He squats down next to the two thugs tied together. He struggles to untie them so he can put handcuffs on them.

COP #1 (CON'D)
What the heck kind of knots did he use?

EXT. STREET 54

Clark jogs up to catch up with Lois and they continue to walk.

CLARK
Hey.

LOIS
Hey. What just happened back there?

CLARK
Well, we
(gesturing back to alley)
stopped a mugging. Y'know, fighting for truth,
justice…

LOIS
Right. But…

CLARK
What is it?

LOIS
How do I say this. I know that just yesterday we
were talking about how you don't want to use your
powers recklessly, that it can lead to problems.

CLARK
Uh-huh…

LOIS
But, Clark, at the same time, you don't want to
recklessly fail to use your powers.

Clark blinks a few times.

CLARK
I don't get it.

LOIS
Clark, you had the ability to tie up those crooks when
you first saw what was happening. Instead, you wait
and do this macho, guy thing…

CLARK
That was not a macho, guy thing.

LOIS
No?

CLARK
No. No, it wasn't. I was sizing up the situation.

LOIS
I see. But do you understand what I'm saying?

They're close to the Daily Planet building by now.

LOIS (CON'D)
I mean, as much as I enjoy showing off my martial
arts skills…

CLARK
(smirking)
And as much as *I* enjoy *watching* you show
off your martial arts skills…

Lois self-consciously smoothes her skirt.

LOIS
Oh, thanks, Kent. Seriously, Clark, while you were
standing there talking to them, anything could have
happened. You'll never be able to tell how dangerous
a criminal will be. If they'd pulled out guns, or
wanted to take someone hostage…it could have
really gotten out of control.

CLARK
I guess. But, you know, you could be a little more
careful too.

LOIS
What?

CLARK
Geez, Lois, you talk about me rushing into situations.
What makes you think you have to get entangled in
every life-threatening predicament you come across?

EXT. DAILY PLANET BUILDING 55

Lois and Clark face each other underneath the Daily Planet globe.

LOIS
So you're saying I should have just waited on the
sidewalk, while you took care of things? You'd make
sure everything turned out all right, protect me from
having to worry about breaking a nail?

CLARK
(sighing)
Lois, I know you can take care of yourself. But my
point is, if something goes wrong, *I* can't get hurt.

LOIS
And being invulnerable is an excuse for not thinking?

Even though Lois' voice is low, Clark looks around.

CLARK
Do you think we could continue this later? For
example, in a place where we won't be surrounded by
reporters?

LOIS
(a little pissed)
Count on it.

They both walk into the Planet.

INT. DAILY PLANET -PIT- 56

Lois walks up to Jimmy's desk, Clark trailing behind her a bit.

LOIS
Hi, Jimmy. Sammy moved to the Caribbean last
night, but there might be something for you in here.

She unloads stack after stack of papers onto his desk.

JIMMY
Oh. Thanks, Lois.

LOIS
No problem.

She walks off while Jimmy stares at the mound on his desk.
Clark approaches.

CLARK
Here, these are for you.

He unloads a similar pile, then goes off to talk with Lois and Perry. Jimmy pokes at one of the stacks, wondering where to begin. A few moments later, Clark passes by again.

JIMMY
You headin' out again, CK?

CLARK
Yeah, I thought I'd go take a walk or something.
Perry doesn't have anything for me.

JIMMY
Have fun.

CLARK
Thanks.

JIMMY
CK… what's it like… outside?

Clark, thinking that Jimmy is joking, laughs and pats his shoulder.

CLARK
Seeya, Jim.

EXT. STREET 57

Clark walks along, looking for a convenient place to change into Superman. He passes the alley where the mugging was, but doesn't notice what's going on in it.

EXT. ALLEY 58

The two cops are still hunkered down next to the thugs, the mugging victim looking on with interest.

COP #1
Oh, for God's sake!

COP #2
I'll go look for some scissors.

EXT. STREET 59

Clark ducks behind a post. SUPERMAN FLIES OFF.

INT. KENT FARMHOUSE -KITCHEN- 60

Clark walks in.

JONATHAN
Clark! What brings you here?

MARTHA
(mock dismay)
You got fired, didn't you. I warned you that Perry wouldn't put up with your constant disappearances.

CLARK
(laughing)
No. I just didn't have anything to do at the Planet,
and I thought Dad might want some help putting up
that fence before you guys leave for Rome.

JONATHAN
Nothing to do at the Planet? That's a change.

CLARK
Yeah, Perry's been taking it easy on us for the past
couple of days.

MARTHA
He's been really anxious for you and Lois to get
together, hasn't he?

CLARK
I think his words were "itchin' like a bear on a fuzzy
tree." I figured I'd take advantage of it, but Lois said
she'd go insane if she didn't start getting some work
done.

JONATHAN
Did you find out anything about the kryptonite, son?

CLARK
Oh yeah, Lois said she'd check it out. I wanted to go
with her, but we decided I should stay away.

MARTHA
That's a good idea.

CLARK
So do you feel like tacking the fence, Dad?

JONATHAN
Sure.

EXT. FIELD 61

Jonathan and Clark approach a partially built fence and start to work.

JONATHAN
Everything going okay with Lois, son?

CLARK
Well… it's all right. The Superman stuff is pretty
confusing. I mean, she's already criticizing
Superman, telling me what I should do differently
and how I ought to fight crime and stuff. It's like
she's—

JONATHAN
(amused)
Nagging?

CLARK
No… what's she's saying makes sense. But she
doesn't know what it's like to be Superman or what I
have to go through.

JONATHAN
Do you think that might partly explain why she's
criticizing you? She has a lot to get used to. Have
you two had a discussion about how Superman will
affect you both?

CLARK
Kind of… no, not really.

JONATHAN
Clark, you have to let her know what's going on.
You've never been a good liar…

CLARK
(ruefully)
Yeah, those interrogations about X-ray vision when I
was a teenager were brutal.

JONATHAN
… but at the same time, it's hard to tell what you're
feeling. You need to talk with her.

CLARK
Yeah. It's so great that she finally knows, and I want
to tell her everything about me. But it's really hard
too. I'm so used to keeping it a secret. I don't even
know where to begin.

JONATHAN
Then tell her that too. Believe me, Clark, you don't
want to force her to guess your feelings, and you
don't want to be in the dark about her feelings.

CLARK
This, ah, sounds like it comes from bitter experience,
Dad.

JONATHAN
Yep.

CLARK
Do I even want to know—

JONATHAN
Nope.

Clark chuckles.

JONATHAN
Laugh while you still can, son.

THUNDER sounds overhead; it starts to RAIN.

CLARK
We should go in.

Clark FINISHES BUILDING THE FENCE AT
SUPERSPEED. He and Jonathan hurry back to the house.

EXT. KENT FARMHOUSE -PORCH 62

Clark and Jonathan are drenched; Martha comes out and hands them towels.

CLARK
Thanks, Mom. I should probably head back to
Metropolis…

MARTHA
Okay. You want to take some pie before you go?

CLARK
Oh, no thanks. Lois and I are still finishing off the
cake her uncle Mike made us. I'll call you later.

MARTHA
Promise you'll avoid the lightning.

CLARK
I promise. Bye.

SUPERMAN FLIES OFF.

INT. DAILY PLANET -PIT 63

Jimmy is talking to Perry.

JIMMY
I thought it was pretty weird that Sammy would give
up his job and move to the Caribbean in the middle
of the night, so I called his sister. She had a no idea
where he went, but she said that he sunburns easily
and hates going to the beach.

PERRY
Huh. So you think he really did find out about Nigel
and then something happened to him.

JIMMY
Well, I went through all of that stuff, and I found this.
(holds up an old theater program)
Justin Fluke was a small-time actor, best known for
his portrayal of Polonius in a 1987 production here in
Metropolis. And here, look at his picture.

PERRY
(holding it up to the picture of Nigel in the
newspaper)
I-*dent*ical! But what about the autopsy report?

JIMMY
I looked into that too. It turns out that the doctor
who was in charge of it, Edgar Maroon, is the brother
of Bill Church, Sr's cardiologist. And even for a
doctor, it looks like Dr. Maroon makes an awful lot of
money. So I'm guessing that Nigel has hooked up
with Intergang.

PERRY
Well, Jimmy, this is a terrific job of investigation.

JIMMY
Aw, thanks, Chief.

INT. DAILY PLANET -LANDING- 64

Lois comes out the elevator, looking worried. Clark comes up behind her from the stairs.

CLARK
Lois, we have to talk.

LOIS
I know. We do; we will.

CLARK
I want to say—

LOIS
But not right now.
(urgently)
Clark, the kryptonite wasn't there.

CLARK
You're sure? No one else knew where it was.

LOIS
I looked for it…

INT. DAILY PLANET -PIT- CONTINUOUS 65

Lois and Clark walk down the stairs.

CLARK
What do you think we should do?

PERRY
Lois! Clark! Come over here.

JIMMY
Guess what, guys! I found out that the autopsy
report was forged and who the Nigel look-alike was!
Nigel's really alive!

LOIS
Perry?

PERRY
I'm proud of you, kid. You know, persistence is the
mark of a great journalist…

Clark sits down quickly at Jimmy's desk. Lois puts her hand on his shoulder.

PERRY
Kent? You all right?

CLARK
(weakly)
Congratulations, Jimmy.

FADE TO BLACK

THE END

(script.txt)