By Ladee V (LADEEV@aol.com)
Summary: After Lois tries to seduce Clark for all the wrong reasons, Clark's good and bad sides go to war, literally, in this humorous story.
Author's Note: I got this strange little idea right after Just Say Noah but I never submitted this story (seemed I had misplaced my spine after submitting "Alien Nation??" <bg>) I've dusted it off and decided to send it now because I am longing for the days when L&C inspired me to write. This "wedding arc- trilogy-St. Valentine's Day- massacre" has only inspired me to weep. Anyway, Clark gave Lois that wonderful kiss and then just… floated out the window.(huh?? Right! <bg>) Without the benefit of seeing "Virtually Destroyed", I wondered how they would handle the "physical question" now that they were "in love and dating". I voted for…well you'll see, but I thought it would be fun to see the ever cool, calm and in control Clark Kent crack…just a little.:) Hope you enjoy. As always, comments welcome. — Vicki
***
Lois moaned as Clark massaged the knot that had built up in her shoulder during the long ride to the cabin. Stretched out on the floor with her pajamas on she was completely relaxed. "Was that too hard?" It didn't sound like a painful moan. It sounded more like…pleasure. "No…" Lois purred. "It feels wonderful. I'm putty in you hands."
Clark smiled. It was an uneasy smile, but a smile all the same. He had come to both love and hate these stake-outs. He wasn't sure which way was worse. When Lois wasn't in love with him, or at least wasn't admitting it, or now, knowing how she feels for him. Clark. Not Superman. Before, at least he knew where they stood. She was all business. Of course, there were those "moments". Moments when he thought maybe, just maybe, she was starting to feel something for him.
Then there was now. She was his girlfriend. It was what he always dreamed about yet, it was different. She hugged him and kissed him and smiled, that beautiful smile at him. He really didn't think she realized just what the scent of her did to him.
A few weeks ago, Lois made it clear to him that she wasn't ready for the next step. Things had gotten quite passionate on his couch, when she suddenly decided she needed to go home. They talked for awhile and decided to take things slowly. After all, Lois' feelings for him were relatively new. She barely had time to adjust to the idea of being in love with her "best friend". Then of course there was that Superman thing. He was completely understanding and determined to make good on his promise to wait as long as she needed. But boy was she making it tough.
Her moaning caused him to return to the present. "Lois, could you please stop…moaning like that?" Lois laughed. "Sorry, that just feels so good. I guess I do sound kind of silly." No, not *silly* Clark thought to himself.
"OK," Lois jumped up with a smile. "Your turn!" Clark knew he couldn't handle her soft delicate hands caressing his neck and back. "Uh…how 'bout something to drink? I could go for something cold…very cold." Lois looked unaware. "No thanks, I'm fine." Clark rose and went to the kitchen. His hand shook as he took a bottle of water from the refrigerator. "Clark?" Oh no, he thought. She had that sweet, innocent tone in her voice. "Yes?" His voice quivered and he decided not to turn around. Standing at the sink he took another swig from the water bottle. "If I do you, will you feel it?"
The question caught him off guard and he spat the water out into the sink to keep from choking. Lois smiled. "Wha…What do you mean?"
She was coming up behind him, he could feel her getting closer. He prepared himself so he wouldn't jump out of his skin when she touched him. Sure enough she took her hands and gently traced the outline of his neck and shoulders. "Well, I mean…bombs explode in your stomach… and you belch. Machine gun fire bounces right off." She wrapped her arms around his waist from behind and squeezed him tight. "That makes me wonder, do you even get knots in your neck? And if I massaged you, would it help…would you feel it?"
He turned to her. Her big brown eyes were so inviting. Was she teasing him or was she actually oblivious to the electricity in the room. Her eyes didn't say. "I … don't … usually get … knots but if I did, a massage would help. And yes, I feel even the slightest touch. Especially yours."
Lois smiled and took him by the hand. "Well knots or not, ugh … pardon the pun, come over here, take off your shirt and lay down on the floor. I'm actually pretty good at this."
Clark was definitely confused. He wanted to lay down on the floor with Lois. He also wanted more than just a massage. The signals were mixed. Did she want him to make the first move or did she really just want to work on his neck muscles. The last thing he wanted to do was pressure her. He decided that it was better to be safe than sorry.
"Lois…I'm sorry…I think I hear a…volcano erupting." He was making it up as he went along. "In Iceland. I better … check it out." He was gone in a flash and now Lois was confused. "A volcano erupting? In Iceland?" She checked the surveillance equipment. "Nothing happening over there either." As a journalist she knew sarcasm was considered the lowest form of wit. Aahh but she was sooo good at it.
While Clark was in Iceland, Lois reviewed the evening in her mind. Too subtle? Maybe, she thought. He had to come back. She would just wait.
Clark returned about two hours later. He had indeed gone to Iceland but there was no erupting volcano. Instead he sat in the frozen snow. Hoping it would have a calming effect on him. It didn't but he did manage to help extinguish a hotel fire and evacuate some trapped guests on his way back.
He was glad to see Lois "asleep" on the couch. She had kept her word and took the couch for the first night. Clark had commented on how their stake-outs rarely lasted more than one night so he never got his turn in the bed. To which she replied, "It's a big bed, why don't we share?" Clark has just assumed she was teasing him with his own comment from their first stake-out together. Now he wasn't quite sure.
Clark floated past her to the bedroom and closed the door. In a quick flash he had changed into his red and white checkered boxer shorts and stretched out on the bed. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes.
A few minutes later he was awakened by a gentle tug on his ear. Then a sweet kiss caressed his cheek and he opened his eyes to find Lois, practically on top of him. "Lois, what are you doing?" "Wait and see." They kissed some more. Clark realized his hands were on her thighs. He squeezed them gently and Lois bit lightly into his lip. Their breathing became more rapid. She was definitely sending a message. "Clark," she whispered in his ear. "I love you. I don't ever want to lose you. I'll do anything…" She brought her lips to his and kissed him. Clark's mind was racing. "I don't ever want to lose you? I'll do anything?" What did that mean?
When she released his lips he moaned her name. "Lois". She didn't answer. He knew he had to make sure. As much as he wanted her, he had to be sure. "Lois, stop. Please. Stop." He gently lifted her off of him and sat up in the bed. Lois looked hurt. "Clark, what's wrong?"
"Well, I'm…confused. Just two weeks ago we decided to … take things slow. Somehow I got the impression it would be longer than this before we…" Lois looked down at her hands, she couldn't lie to him. "I changed my mind, OK?" She reached out to kiss him and he stopped her. "Why?" "Why what?" She was getting annoyed. "Why did you change your mind, Lois?" She stammered. Why was he asking so many questions? Why couldn't they just get on with it? In her mind she answered her own question. Because he knew her, and he loved her. "I…I…don't want to lose you." She turned away as a tear ran down her cheek.
"Lois, Lois." He put his arms around her and kissed the back of her neck. "You will never lose me. How could you think such a thing?" Lois was starting to come unglued. So much for the big seduction, she thought angrily to herself. "I know that you have been…in love with me for a while. I also know that you have had other offers and…"
So that was it. The whole office had been talking about the new travel reporter's very forward pass at him. On only her second day. She was clearly the take charge type and she made it clear that she wanted to know Clark, intimately. He had been so embarrassed by the incident at the coffee machine that he could only manage a docile "No, I'm *not* available." He knew Lois had overheard their conversation. He was surprised when she looked, not mad but, deep in thought.
"Lois, I want you more than I can say. But not like this. Not when you think you have to in order to keep me from going somewhere else." Lois could hear the hurt in his voice. Still comparing him to other men. Hadn't he proved himself yet? "I'm sorry, Clark. I know you're not…" A name from her past almost slipped out, but she recovered quickly, "that kind of man. I just thought…well, I felt…insecure…I can't compete with a woman like that."
"You don't have to, Lois. Not for my affection. Or any other part of me, for the record." Clark hugged her and kissed the top of her head. Lois couldn't believe the man she had in Clark Kent. Once again he had come through for her. She really did want to wait. She wasn't sure exactly how long. Maybe until they were married, maybe not. She just knew she wasn't ready now. Their relationship had taken some major turns in the past few months. It was a lot to deal with on its own without the physical aspects. Lois' mind wandered as to how she, a mere mortal, could actually expect to satisfy him physically anyway. Maybe he would be insatiable. He was "Superman" after all. Maybe she could hide a piece of kryptonite under the pillow…
Clark saw her far away look and took her face in his hands. "Lois, I love you. You are the only woman I have ever really…desired. I want *you*, only you…and you are worth waiting for." "Oh, Clark. thank you." They hugged and kissed again. They held each other silently for a long time. When she decided to leave they exchanged more good-night kisses and I love you's. Slowly Lois got up from the bed and closed the door behind her.
Clark breathed a sigh of relief. He was glad he had taken the time to question her. He was emotionally exhausted and he actually looked forward to falling asleep. Just then a miniature version of himself, wearing bright red satin pajama shorts, flew in angrily and landed on his chest a few feet from his face.
"Stupid, Stupid, Stupid!" he yelled at his larger self. Clark looked at him and rolled his eyes. "What do you want, DC?"
"We have been dreaming about this from the moment we met her and finally…finally, she literally throws herself at us and you talk her out of it!! What were you thinking?
Just then another miniature Clark, this one in white satin shorts flew in and landed next to the other. He folded his arms and with a superior look at his miniature counterpart said, "Weren't you listening?" He put his hand over his heart and looked up lovingly as he repeated Clark's words exactly. "Lois, I love you. You are the only woman I have ever really…desired. I want *you*, and only you…and you're worth waiting for." He gave Clark an enthusiastic thumbs up. "That was a classic!! I was so proud!"
DC looked all the more annoyed and folded his arms in disgust. "Clark! Listen to me! Please…kick the Boy Scout to the curb and go after her! Maybe she's still thinking about us!
AC, surprised to see Clark looking like he was actually considering it, mustered up his best tough guy tone. "Clark, think about this—If we let him talk us into taking advantage of the woman we love, I will personally make sure we regret it for the rest of our lives!!"
"Think about this," DC countered with a sly smile, "I'll make sure it's worth it."
Clark could only watch as the angelic and devilish versions of himself, engaged in a heated exchange. They visited him often, especially now that he and Lois had finally admitted their true feelings for each other. DC was getting harder and harder to control. Clark really couldn't blame him. They had been in love with Lois far longer than she had been in love with them. Now that she was finally feeling the same, it was like a dam had burst and every time they kissed he wanted to shower all his love and affection on her.
AC turned angrily to DC. "You see? That's exactly why we don't let you make the decisions in our life. You would have us sleeping with every woman in Metropolis!"
"No, not *every* woman. Just Lois! Besides, with you calling the shots we'll probably be making a lot more trips to Iceland, for *nothing* I might add, and quite frankly, I'm a tropical climate kind of guy!"
"Guys! Guys!" Clark interrupted. "The decision has been made. There's no point in arguing. Now…could you just go back into the deep, apparently disturbed recesses of my psyche or…wherever it is you come from? I'd like to get some sleep."
DC looked at him incredulously. "Sleep? Ha! That's another thing you won't be getting tonight. Not with the dreams I have planned for you! You just close your eyes and watch how fast those images of Lois——whoa!"
AC blew a blast of super cold breath at his devilish twin that sent him hurtling into the wall and down to the floor.
Clark smiled at the sight of him shaking his head from the blow. "Thanks. He was starting to get on my nerves."
AC pronounced quite confidently, "You will sleep like a baby. I can handle him. I always have." DC, now fully recovered, flew back into the picture.
"I'll bet Lois is out there right now thinking how she loves us *even* more for not taking advantage of her vulnerable state. She really wasn't ready." Clark and AC smiled at the thought. DC feigned vomiting by clutching his stomach, sticking his finger in his mouth and dropping to his knees. Realizing he had lost this battle he threatened his larger image quite convincingly. "I will be back, Clark. Lois is all we ever think about. I fully intend to get what we want!"
Unimpressed, AC looked at him and yawned. He turned his attention back to Clark. "We did the *right* thing. We're a great guy!" "No, *we* are galactically stupid!" AC slapped a head-lock on his combatant and with a quick smile at Clark they took off in a red and white blur.
Clark smiled to himself and turned over in the bed. His smile faded slightly. "Galactically stupid??"
THE END
Post-Story Note: Well, now don't be too hard on me. If you can believe the ones that make the big bucks are coming up with the likes of frog-eating clones, selective amnesia, and more trained assassins, surely a story like this is at least feasible. After all, I'm just an amateur! <g>
(battle.txt)