By Sarah Wood (Sarah4LC@aol.com)
Summary: A continuation of the episode "And the Answer Is…" in which Clark struggles with a confession after proposing.
Author's Note: I know, there've been plenty of ATAI continuations, but since I had written this back in June I decided I might as well submit it. Feedback appreciated.
***
"Clark," Lois began, in a tone that implied that they had unfinished business, and then she stopped. The silence was charged with emotion, heavy with all that lay unspoken between them. Clark remained on one knee before her, still holding the ring, nestled in velvet and shimmering with raindrops. His glasses were so spattered with rain that he could hardly see her, and when no answer was forthcoming he wasn't sure he wanted to know what her face might tell him. The anxious knot in his stomach rose up towards his throat, threatening to choke him. He swallowed hard, but could do nothing about the tears welling in his eyes.
"There's more," he said, blinking to clear his vision. "I've been trying to tell you something important, and I keep getting interrupted. I have to tell you now, you have to know everything before you can answer me."
Lois' lips twitched slightly, but she held back the smile. Of course she couldn't give him an answer yet, she needed him to reveal the truth to her, she needed him to prove that he trusted her with his most precious secret. And yet a part of her was at war with the waiting, a part of her wanted to triumphantly expose him. Lois Lane, investigative reporter, didn't need to be told! She had figured it out for herself. True, it had taken her a long time, but recent events had opened her eyes. When she had felt Superman caress her cheek, just as Clark had so recently done, with the same tenderness and love, and Clark so very much on her mind, it was as if a glimmer of light had been lit in her mind. There had been no time to dwell on it, with Clark's parents in danger, but once the danger had passed and she had been tucked into bed to sleep, then there had been hours and hours to replay events in her mind, examine things more closely, find the clues that had been there all along.
Clark was oblivious to the rain dripping inside his collar and soaking his feet. His heart pounded horribly, and he felt as though his twisted insides would burst any moment. "Lois, I … this isn't easy."
"I know," she said soothingly, for she could indeed see how hard he was finding it.
"I love you," he reminded her earnestly. "That's why I can't keep hiding the truth from you."
Lois smiled and had mercy on him. "Clark, I don't know how you can even see me with all these raindrops on your glasses." She reached for his face and deftly removed his glasses. She drew in the worry in his eyes, the unshed tears still lingering there, and her heart swelled with tenderness. She touched his face hesitantly, gazing into his eyes. "There, isn't that better? You don't need to be worried, Clark. I love you, everything about you."
"You don't know everything about me yet."
"Yes I do," she returned, an amused light in her eyes.
Clark took a sharp breath, and blurted it out. After all the rehearsing he'd done, trying to find the best way to break the news gently, he just dropped it in her lap like a stone. "I'm Superman."
"Yes," she agreed. A knowing smile flickered on her lips and then flooded her face, but Clark was too intent on making his confession to notice it. He mistook her simple words and calm demeanor for lack of comprehension, and made an effort to get through to her.
"I mean, I'm Superman, he's me, I can fly."
"I know," Lois said clearly, looking pleased with herself. "I figured that out already."
"You … you did?" He stared at her. "When, I mean how, I mean …"
She couldn't help but laugh at his confusion. "I don't know how you managed to keep it a secret for so long, I must've been blind not to see all the little clues. Did you think I'd be angry?"
Clark nodded, overwhelmed by this turn of events. "I thought you'd be furious," he confessed.
"How silly," she chided gently. "I can understand that you wanted to have a normal life, and that wouldn't be possible if everyone knew you were Superman. You'd never have a moment's peace. It must've been very hard for you. You can trust me, though, I won't tell a soul, not even my sister."
He looked relieved by her promise, and suddenly realized that it felt as if a weight had been lifted from his shoulders, a weight that super strength couldn't quite alleviate, for it wasn't physical in nature. "I can't believe you're not angry, Lois," he said in amazement. "You're taking this so well!"
"Well," she said slowly. "I admit, I was a bit annoyed at first. I mean, all those things I said to Superman, and now I find out it was you! And I don't think I'll ever forget the Cheese of the Month lie! But I do understand."
"When did you figure all this out?"
"Last night, lying in bed. I was hoping you'd tell me, I know you've been trying to."
"I had to," Clark said seriously, his eyes so intense that Lois couldn't have looked away even if the earth *had* suddenly opened up beneath them. "I want to share my life with you, Lois. I want you to be my wife, and I don't want any secrets between us. I've wanted to tell you, many times, but somehow it just wasn't the right time. Until now." He looked down at the saturated velvet case, and suddenly snapped it shut. "I'm sorry, Lois, you're going to need time to get used to this. I shouldn't have asked you to marry me yet."
Lois drew back, horrified. "Does that mean you're … you're deproposing?"
"Well, I just … It isn't fair to you, I'm rushing things. I'm doing this all wrong, aren't I," Clark said miserably.
"Clark Kent, you open that box again right now!" Lois demanded. "I know this is your first time proposing, but really! You can't ask a girl to marry you and then take it back!"
He shot her a quizzical look even as he opened the box. Lois looked again at the beautiful diamond ring, and sighed a blissful sigh. "I can wait, if you need to think about it," he said, sounding unsure of everything. "You don't need to give me an answer right away, I know you probably have a lot of questions for me."
"Well, I have to admit this was a surprise," Lois grinned. "I was expecting you to tell me you're Superman, I wasn't expecting you to ask me to marry you!"
"I … I understand, Lois." She was going to say no. His heart sinking, Clark lowered his head. He didn't want to see the pity on her face, nor did he want her to see the tears gathering in his eyes. He had risked everything, once again, with the hope of winning her, and again he had lost.
"I don't think you do, Clark." She tilted his chin so their eyes met, and her gaze softened, her voice took on a deep, sensual timbre. "I love you. I've loved you for a long time, but I couldn't see it. I was afraid that loving you would ruin our partnership, that it would spoil everything. Loving Superman was easy, because I knew he was out of reach. Now I know I also loved Superman because he's you, he has your warmth and caring, your honor and kindness." She caught her lower lip with her teeth for a moment, looking at him with longing. "Ask me, Clark, ask me again."
Lost in the spell of her words and the warmth of her love, Clark had to shake himself. Filling with hope, he clasped her small hand in his strong one, and his heart stopped. "Will you marry me, Lois?"
"Yes," she whispered. "Yes." She watched, spellbound, as he carefully picked the ring out of the box and slid it onto her outstretched finger.
A tidal wave of emotions coursed through Clark, relief and joy foremost amongst them. With a small cry he wrapped his arms around Lois and pulled her against him, holding her as though he couldn't believe his good fortune. "Oh, Lois, you don't know how happy I feel."
"About as happy as I do," she suggested, pulling away a little to brush his wet hair back. She wasn't used to seeing Clark without his glasses, just as she wasn't used to seeing Superman without his costume, and here they were, together as one before her. She wanted to memorize this moment, to be able to recall it when she was old and gray. She stroked his face, ran her hands through his thick hair, clasped the back of his neck and pulled him towards her. His lips parted as she slowly, slowly bent to kiss him. They surrendered themselves to the love they needed to express, bodies drawing closer, and the rain trickled down on them unheeded.
They never noticed the dark-clad figure under the nearby tree, who slipped into the shadows with an exultant smile.
THE END
(ataiyes.txt)